December 4, 2023 • 20 mins
Grace dates the daring dude who decided to casually slide into her DMs. They say fortune favours the bold - it’s time to test that hypothesis.
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Novel.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
This show contains adult material and swearing. You have been warned.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Oh my god, I feel so bad for him, Like,
I know, such a sad story.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
I mean, I quite respect your on dates people going
that deep.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
He gets extra brainy points in his random because that
was awful. That's like nightmare of stuff.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I'm a savage. Are you bored of modern dating?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Meeting the same people from the same apps in the
same bar You've only chosen because it's close to your
house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's
time to change the narrative on how we find love.
It's time to start looking for love in all the
wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only
picking people who are the total opposite of my type.
(01:01):
And after twenty eight of these dates in two months.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Will I find that special someone?
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Or well, this experiment proved that I should just give
up on dating altogether.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
It's time to find out.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I'm Grace Campbell and this is twenty eight dates later.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Hi, Hi rods.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Okay, Grace, I'm excited about today's date. Did he energize
you at all? Because this guy sitting into DMS this.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Rose is the modern day meet you it's the modern
day bumping into someone in a corridor. Yeah, now, listen,
I'm not gonna lie. Yeah, Like, I've had a lot
of men, not to brag, like, slide into my DMS,
which is an art form. By the way, I've actually
dated a few guys with into my DMS and it's gone.
One of the worst relationships I've had began from somebody
(01:52):
sliding into my DMS. So it's given me a bit
of trauma, right, And I worry about men who's sideing
to my DMS because I feel that they have a
sort of warped idea of what is going to be
like going on a date with me, and then it
just gets a bit confused. So I was a bit
worried about this, if I'm going to be honest.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
So I actually before we started this, I was like,
oh my god, a guy's sitting into a DMS like
this is how so many of my relationships happened. But
then no one you're saying that, I'm like, oh, yeah,
mine didn't last either, Yeah, so maybe that isn't a
good thing.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
The one thing I'll say, right, and this is what
I have realized, is that men who like slide into
your dms. They are doing that with so many women,
Like it's not just you that they're doing that with.
That's a tactic that they're not all of them, right.
But one guy I dated who's sitting into my DMS
I then later realized that literally, and I only realized
(02:43):
this from looking at who else he was following on
Instagram every week when we were dating. Is he would
always be following your girls and always be stiding into
their dms. So I think it's it's a bit of
a some men, it's you know, it's their form of
being a player, and that's what it bit gets my
back up. But i'd actually met this guy before, we'd
met on the Canal and Hackney on like a really
sunny day last year, and then he followed me on
(03:04):
Instagram and never messaged me, and then messaged me like
seven months later being like do you want to go
for a drink?
Speaker 3 (03:10):
And like, Grace, you know that you're saying, low's a
guy signing two dms. Has anyone famous ever slid into dms?
Speaker 1 (03:16):
No, And I will say way less people slided into
my dms now. It used it was like it was
like a year ago.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
That's because they don't want to be part of your
comedy show. No, I think it is that.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
I think there was a really peak moment for me
when no one really famous. A few comedians have slidden
to my dms, like sort of mildly known comedians.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
But you know, ck, you look really.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Nice to like. And also you did have like eight
people here trying to get you ready, which I thought
was a bit weird.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Okay, so if you if you had to be played
in the movie where anyone who would have been joy?
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Oh, that's really true.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Actually, yeah, that's really true. True, that's really true.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Actually, when I met him last summer, I hadn't quite
recalled how posh she was, Like he was really posh,
which it wasn't an it at all, because he was.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
He had good chat, but his voice was quite posh.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
I like his accent.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
No, he's posh. But he was good looking.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
He looked he did look like Joseph Gordon Levitt, like
that is actually what he looks like.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I'm actually googling him right now because I can't.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
He was in Ten Things I Hate About You Love Him?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Yeah, did he look like him?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
He looked like him.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
You know, he's one of those actors that like, I
love him in movies and afterwards I'm like, I'm in
love with him.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
No, I know, because he's so cute, he's so nice,
he's so nice.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Yeah. Great.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
I actually think your accent is pastial than his. It's
definitely noting from all your Irish listeners right now, and
they're like, I know, because that's the thing, but I
don't actually for someone from London like I'm posh, definitely,
but I don't have like he spoke like that.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
It's more of a sort of BBC accent.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Okay, expecting when the clip I was expecting like the
Crown right, No he doesn't. Okay, well you know what
I wasn't on a date with King Charles. Can I
just say instantly I like him?
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
He was good vibes, He was good vibes. We actually
had fun, like it was a really fun date.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
He had great chat.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
He sat down and the first thing he said was
you look amazing, and I was like, that's so funny
because it's like you're trying really hard. Yeah, that's nice
to Also, he follows me on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Obviously.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
On my Instagram, I do all these things where I
talk about things that give people the it and get
people's like some bit their things. And he said that
he'd like thought about coming and basically encompassing like all
of the biggest ins. So he was like he wanted
to come and like wear all different things that he
was like, I didn't want to put you off. So
now I'm trying to be like the opposite of a nick.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
Well, it's also you know, a lot is to go
on a date with a girl, but beforehand, so you know,
she puts like fifty it's up and you're walking through
a mind for on the date, making sure you don't
mention all the stupid shit she's the night before also
was thinking about compiling like seven of them and just
wearing whatever. Yeah, that would have been really drink at
the bar and at one point come on to people like,
(06:12):
oh my god, I can't leave you're hair. I just
to say thank you so much. Saved my life, your massive,
massive dick. You're the best person. If I thought best lot.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
You know what, that's kind of night.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
He seemed a bit nervous.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Yeah, I actually think that that shows that he's able
to make fun of himself, that he follows you that
he was going to make fun of your whole acting,
but then was like, Okay, she might actually think I'm
being serious.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
And yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
It's like, if I was going on a date with someone,
I would stop them on social media, Like how much
research do you usually do on guys before?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
If I can find their social media, then I will
stalk them heavily. But sometimes when you match someone on
a dating app, you don't have their social media before
you meet them, and I don't really want to ask
because my fear is if I stalk someone too much
before I meet them and they give me the egg,
then I'm not going to go on the date.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
That's happened to me in the past.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
What's the deepest dive you've done?
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Oh, I would just go really really far back on
the instagrams.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
You wouldn't check out like LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Like you
learn a lot for someone's Twitter.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
I just don't ever think to do that because I
forget that, like people have LinkedIn because I don't have
a job.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
And like you know, if you've ever done a deep
dive or you follow them on social media, as you said,
you've gone back really far on Instagram, Like on a date,
will you let them know or like will you be
like a surprise and they tell you that they have
a dog named Daisy.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
I don't know if if we followed each other on
Instagram already, then I'd be like, oh, yeah, I saw
your dog on Instagram. But if we haven't, then I
probably would not.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Say to be honest, yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
And you know one thing I've never seen on your
profile what so like anytime you've been in a relationship,
you've come out of a relationship, gone into one, you
never really posted it on social media, Like you never
make it into official or anythink.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
No I would.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
I don't think I would ever post my boyfriend on
the internet and my partner.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Does it give you the ick?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
It just feels a bit like intense, And I feel
like I would post it maybe on my like close
friends or on like a personal Instagram, But it just
feels intense, like all these people who follow me I
who don't know me, like knowing about my relationship.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Like I just don't like that idea. Wow, I feel
like you're quite like private about your relationship.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
I am, Yeah, but like before, like I would have
posted about boyfriends. Yeah, And I kind of learned the
hard way that like then you're giving people.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
A right to have an opinion one, and then once
you have that, it's almost like it's not your relationship.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
When break up you're going through a breakup, you're also
going through like everybody knowing.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
And having theories about it and deciding like I just been.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Boring breakup, nothing geese happened, Okay.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
I know, and they're making up all of these Honestly,
I've seen it with so many people that go through
like public breakups, and it's just like I would just
rather not.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
So how long have you been single?
Speaker 1 (08:54):
For?
Speaker 4 (08:54):
About twenty six years now? Really, I've had a lot
of fun with a lot of girls. Neverbody found one
that I really want to settle down with, like yet
may have already met her. Not too sure. You are
really funny, really really funny. But no, Yeah, I mean
I had rationships in school and at sixth form. But
(09:17):
I say, since I have sixth form, yeah, only like
long term buddies.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Sewhere Yeah of course yeah buddies right? Okay, But is
that is that because?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Is that because like is it just a mutual thing
or if you have girls like wanting it to be more?
Speaker 4 (09:36):
No, I've had a lot of girls told me to
love me.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Yeah, well I'm at an age now where whoever I
get with NEX is going to have a significant X.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
They're going to be divorced.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
No, I know exactly.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
And I'm like, but even I've got like a significant X,
and it's like there's no purity like anymore when you
meet someone, they've always got someone else that's going to
be like a bit of a soft spot in your relationship.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
So that's nice, but it's funny when men are.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Like, yeah, I've had so many girls like really wanting
to be serious with me, and I'm just like, nope,
not found the one.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
That's when I'm not a grow up.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yeah, it does give that kind of complex that he's
just like everything's revolving around him, like nothing's wrong with him.
It's everyone else.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
But also it sounds like not necessarily him. But you know,
when people are like that, it's a bit like, Okay, well,
why are you misleading so many people into thinking you're
going to be in a relationship with them?
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Okay, great, Sorry, I do think we're sending We're actually
saying like he forgets because you're going on twenty eight
days to find the one. So it's like yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
So there was this weird moment, right, I brought Eddie
my dog on the day, and he just wasn't really
acknowledging her or looking at her, and so I called
him out for it.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
I don't think you liked that.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
I don't like dogs. I don't do oh, I don't
like dogs, know, are you joking? I had a bit
there was a whole thing when I was younger, we
had a dog and it all went went it's up
potentially I I left a washing basket on the hob
and the house went up and the dog was in
(11:12):
the house just like that was bad. I got back,
I saw that there was like smoke coming for the window,
so like ran inside like whole places of fire, like
grabbed grabbed him like right out of the door, like
passed out fire fire and grabbed me. Took me to
(11:34):
the hospital. Obviously dog was long dead. So since then,
never been a fan. But you that's a reasonable reason
to not like.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Yeah, but that's also it's not that you're not a fan.
It's not normatized.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's just not saying like
when I look at when I look at your dogs.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
And laugh, whoa, oh my god, number one. Can I
just say that's such a like he's no, look, I'm
not a psychologist, but like he definitely has allowed it
like that. That's like a very traumatic thing to go through.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
That's so traumatic. Can you imagine killing your family dog?
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Yeah? And also I know he's like, oh I look
at dogs, and I'm like, oh no. But it's like
if you had a really bad experience with men, you
might be like, oh, I never want a date. I
don't want to like, do you get me?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
I think it's definitely not because actually, after a while
spending time with him, we actually hung out for like
the whole evening. Yeah, he actually liked the dog and
then was like cuddling the dog at the end. But
I think just had, like you said, been so traumatized
by this experience that he couldn't even look at dogs
because he would be reminded of it.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Oh my god. You kind of want to give him
a hug, don't you.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
I know, I know, And I felt like that's such
a sad story.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
And I was like, wow, such a sad story.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
I mean, I quite respect you on dates people going
that deep and like telling stories like that. I sort
of appreciated it because I was like, oh, you're not
just giving me surface level stuff, do you know what
I mean?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
No? And it gives context because if he just turned
around into and said no, I'm just not into them,
you'd be like, Okay, that's a bit of a red flag.
But now these given context, you're actually like, I can
understand why you're not cuddling my dog right now. I
feel so bad for him. He gets extra band points
in this round because that is awful.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
So is this whole podcast dates to try and maybe
get your limit better flirting?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
No, it's not because I've never had any desire to
be going to flying.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
That's good. Everyone wants they can't help.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Do not like flying? No, I think I think it's
so it's.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Like I hate small tool nice absolutely.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
I think the best flirting is when like it doesn't
the girl doesn't think it's flirting.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
You know, you don't.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
You don't, you don't acknowledge it's flirting. It's just a
subtle I think it's more about like small body language
and grace. Please put your top back on. Okay, I
to hear that's really appropriate.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
You know what I've never thought about, like what is
flourishing before but like he said it right there, it
kind of is like half what you say, but your body.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Language it is. And that's why a lot of flirting
is eye contact.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Yeah, I'm really bad at flirting because I think my
style of flirting is like almost ripping the piss out
of people. And I also find it really awkward to
keep eye contact. So I say, people go away, and
they go, she's a fucking bitch, she hates me, and
I like them.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
It's so much about your physical language, like I think,
because I could say something that's not flirty, but then
if I said it in a certain tone and look
to you in a certain way, it would be obvious
that I'm flirting with you.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
And also like you know, putting your hand on their
shoulder kind of like laughing and like making contact with
them while you're talking. That is, Yeah, that's flirting, to
be honest.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
My main tip for flirting on a day if it's
just like all about how you look at them, Like
I just feel like when I'm on a day and
I like want to get with the person and like
I'm attracted to them, I would just make a very
specific type of eye contact to them, which is like,
I want to have sex with you with my eyes.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
So I have a question, though, have you ever been
around someone that they're so good looking and you like
them so much that you can flir properly?
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
When I was younger, definitely.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
It hasn't happened since you were in I don't.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Know, yeah, yeah, when I was in my early twenties,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Like, I went on a date with a guy like
not long ago, and he was so fair, and I
remember being like, oh my god, like I was obviously
him and I was like, oh my god, like I
actually can't believe I'm oppositely someone this hot.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
But I was still capable of flying. But I was like,
I kept.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Being like sort of checking to see if he was blind,
think holding off? Wait can you see that flying into
your face? So we were deciding what to have next
to drink, and while I was getting up to go
and get them, he left a little note on the recording.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
So Grace is at the bar. So I thought, I
take this time to just deeply from the it's going
pretty well. She's great, and she has come back.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I was gonna shot, Oh, he's so cute.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
He's very cute. I like him.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
That's really cute.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Yeah, and like you know what, obviously we've we've run
through like him and there hasn't really been any red
flags ranting that you.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Know there was. There was nothing that bothered me. No,
not even the dead dog. That wasn't his fault.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
He just seems like super honest, really nice. Obviously. I
know you said the accent was a bit whatever, but
like Grace, it's not a big deal in fairness if
coming over from Ireland, like that's a bit. That's an
attractive accent, you know.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
It's h m it is Hugh Grant.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yeah, we're doing on Saturday night.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Why ask me out?
Speaker 4 (16:49):
No, there's a there's for this event on Saturday.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
I'm around, I've got a gig at five.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Where's the gig?
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Really?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Really, Grace, Grace, I know my mum says I have
a real issue. I yawn all the time. It's a
nerve thing. I yawn when I'm like.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Nerv Even talking about yawning though, it makes me want
toy on, like hearing you y on.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
So before a gig, I yawn like unbelievable amounts I
have to even on on dates date, so you're quite
a lot because but it's not because I'm tired, it's
because I'm anxious.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
It's really weird. It's it's just a nerve thing.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Do you ever yawn in the middle of a gig.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
No, I never yearned when I'm on stage because I'm
being like pumped with adrenaline beforehand.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
I will yawn so much.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Grace, that's just your tactic for putting him back in
the box. You didn't want to boli him after the dogs,
he said, I'll just give a little yawn just so
he doesn't.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Get to know. It's more that it's more a nerve thing.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
And I think I did say that it's not you,
it's it's me being nervous. But yeah, the event he
was throwing was a rave on that Saturday, and I
didn't end up going because I'm not really in my
raving era at the moment.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
You know what, though, it was going so well until
the rave, so.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Well, you were like, you're gonna get married.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
And then oh, oh my god, I'm like, I really
like him. I actually think he just seems like such
a nice guy. But the fact that he's twenty six
and he's still into raving questionable.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yeah, he was throwing a rave. He was throwing a
rage questionable. So I didn't go to the rave, and
he did message me that day saying are you coming
to the rave?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
And I was like, no, I'm really sorry.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
I'm not coming because I haven't got a dog sitter,
because I'm an adult with a dog.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Yeah, but I.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Would see him again.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Yeah, I actually think he should see him again.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
And I think as well.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Like one of the things that I liked about this
scenario is that it wasn't like from a dating app.
It was like a bit more organic where we'd already
met and then he'd messaged me on Instagram. I prefer
situations like that because as already we've already gotten over
the sort of like weird shit. And I respect people
for siding into my dms. It used to happen so
(18:53):
much more, and it happens way less now, I think,
because maybe I'm a bit more intimidating than I used
to be.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
It.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
But I used to get so many men's signing into
my dms.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Can I just say, and this is something I didn't
mention the start. He clearly has been talking about you
for the last year to his friends, his family, his
cousin's being like this girl Grace I met, I really
like her. He's clearly had eyes with you, which is
actually kind of like I just think that's that's really
like adhering about him.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Yeah, it's cute. Good for him.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
You have been her best so far. Congratulations you win
nothing but possibly a second date.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Because you went absolutely nothing.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Maybe you'll maybe you'll meet me again if I'm feeling generous.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Next time. On twenty eight dates later, I can't go
out of someone who is badly dressed.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Yeah, fucking non branded trainers, ill fitting jeans, a fucking
T shirt with the Rolling Stones logo on it describing
what I'm wearing right now.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Oh does he aroub me? I'm a savage?
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Oh my god, can grab me? Twenty eight Dates Later
is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio. For more from Novel,
visit novel dot Audio. The series is presented by me
Grace Campbell, with help from Roz Pursu and Dan Whyde.
The producer is Diggory Way. The executive producer is Claire Broughton.
(20:16):
Our editors are mythillly Raw and Max O'Brien. Production management
from Cherie Houston and Charlotte Wall. Willard Foxton is our
creative director of Development novel
Novel.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
This show contains adult material and swearing. You have been warned.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Oh my god, I feel so bad for him, Like,
I know, such a sad story.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
I mean, I quite respect your on dates people going
that deep.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
He gets extra brainy points in his random because that
was awful. That's like nightmare of stuff.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I'm a savage. Are you bored of modern dating?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Meeting the same people from the same apps in the
same bar You've only chosen because it's close to your
house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's
time to change the narrative on how we find love.
It's time to start looking for love in all the
wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only
picking people who are the total opposite of my type.
(01:01):
And after twenty eight of these dates in two months.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Will I find that special someone?
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Or well, this experiment proved that I should just give
up on dating altogether.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
It's time to find out.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I'm Grace Campbell and this is twenty eight dates later.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Hi, Hi rods.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Okay, Grace, I'm excited about today's date. Did he energize
you at all? Because this guy sitting into DMS this.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Rose is the modern day meet you it's the modern
day bumping into someone in a corridor. Yeah, now, listen,
I'm not gonna lie. Yeah, Like, I've had a lot
of men, not to brag, like, slide into my DMS,
which is an art form. By the way, I've actually
dated a few guys with into my DMS and it's gone.
One of the worst relationships I've had began from somebody
(01:52):
sliding into my DMS. So it's given me a bit
of trauma, right, And I worry about men who's sideing
to my DMS because I feel that they have a
sort of warped idea of what is going to be
like going on a date with me, and then it
just gets a bit confused. So I was a bit
worried about this, if I'm going to be honest.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
So I actually before we started this, I was like,
oh my god, a guy's sitting into a DMS like
this is how so many of my relationships happened. But
then no one you're saying that, I'm like, oh, yeah,
mine didn't last either, Yeah, so maybe that isn't a
good thing.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
The one thing I'll say, right, and this is what
I have realized, is that men who like slide into
your dms. They are doing that with so many women,
Like it's not just you that they're doing that with.
That's a tactic that they're not all of them, right.
But one guy I dated who's sitting into my DMS
I then later realized that literally, and I only realized
(02:43):
this from looking at who else he was following on
Instagram every week when we were dating. Is he would
always be following your girls and always be stiding into
their dms. So I think it's it's a bit of
a some men, it's you know, it's their form of
being a player, and that's what it bit gets my
back up. But i'd actually met this guy before, we'd
met on the Canal and Hackney on like a really
sunny day last year, and then he followed me on
(03:04):
Instagram and never messaged me, and then messaged me like
seven months later being like do you want to go
for a drink?
Speaker 3 (03:10):
And like, Grace, you know that you're saying, low's a
guy signing two dms. Has anyone famous ever slid into dms?
Speaker 1 (03:16):
No, And I will say way less people slided into
my dms now. It used it was like it was
like a year ago.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
That's because they don't want to be part of your
comedy show. No, I think it is that.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
I think there was a really peak moment for me
when no one really famous. A few comedians have slidden
to my dms, like sort of mildly known comedians.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
But you know, ck, you look really.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Nice to like. And also you did have like eight
people here trying to get you ready, which I thought
was a bit weird.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Okay, so if you if you had to be played
in the movie where anyone who would have been joy?
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Oh, that's really true.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Actually, yeah, that's really true. True, that's really true.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Actually, when I met him last summer, I hadn't quite
recalled how posh she was, Like he was really posh,
which it wasn't an it at all, because he was.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
He had good chat, but his voice was quite posh.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
I like his accent.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
No, he's posh. But he was good looking.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
He looked he did look like Joseph Gordon Levitt, like
that is actually what he looks like.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I'm actually googling him right now because I can't.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
He was in Ten Things I Hate About You Love Him?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Yeah, did he look like him?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
He looked like him.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
You know, he's one of those actors that like, I
love him in movies and afterwards I'm like, I'm in
love with him.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
No, I know, because he's so cute, he's so nice,
he's so nice.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Yeah. Great.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
I actually think your accent is pastial than his. It's
definitely noting from all your Irish listeners right now, and
they're like, I know, because that's the thing, but I
don't actually for someone from London like I'm posh, definitely,
but I don't have like he spoke like that.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
It's more of a sort of BBC accent.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Okay, expecting when the clip I was expecting like the
Crown right, No he doesn't. Okay, well you know what
I wasn't on a date with King Charles. Can I
just say instantly I like him?
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
He was good vibes, He was good vibes. We actually
had fun, like it was a really fun date.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
He had great chat.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
He sat down and the first thing he said was
you look amazing, and I was like, that's so funny
because it's like you're trying really hard. Yeah, that's nice
to Also, he follows me on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Obviously.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
On my Instagram, I do all these things where I
talk about things that give people the it and get
people's like some bit their things. And he said that
he'd like thought about coming and basically encompassing like all
of the biggest ins. So he was like he wanted
to come and like wear all different things that he
was like, I didn't want to put you off. So
now I'm trying to be like the opposite of a nick.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
Well, it's also you know, a lot is to go
on a date with a girl, but beforehand, so you know,
she puts like fifty it's up and you're walking through
a mind for on the date, making sure you don't
mention all the stupid shit she's the night before also
was thinking about compiling like seven of them and just
wearing whatever. Yeah, that would have been really drink at
the bar and at one point come on to people like,
(06:12):
oh my god, I can't leave you're hair. I just
to say thank you so much. Saved my life, your massive,
massive dick. You're the best person. If I thought best lot.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
You know what, that's kind of night.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
He seemed a bit nervous.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Yeah, I actually think that that shows that he's able
to make fun of himself, that he follows you that
he was going to make fun of your whole acting,
but then was like, Okay, she might actually think I'm
being serious.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
And yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
It's like, if I was going on a date with someone,
I would stop them on social media, Like how much
research do you usually do on guys before?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
If I can find their social media, then I will
stalk them heavily. But sometimes when you match someone on
a dating app, you don't have their social media before
you meet them, and I don't really want to ask
because my fear is if I stalk someone too much
before I meet them and they give me the egg,
then I'm not going to go on the date.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
That's happened to me in the past.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
What's the deepest dive you've done?
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Oh, I would just go really really far back on
the instagrams.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
You wouldn't check out like LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Like you
learn a lot for someone's Twitter.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
I just don't ever think to do that because I
forget that, like people have LinkedIn because I don't have
a job.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
And like you know, if you've ever done a deep
dive or you follow them on social media, as you said,
you've gone back really far on Instagram, Like on a date,
will you let them know or like will you be
like a surprise and they tell you that they have
a dog named Daisy.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
I don't know if if we followed each other on
Instagram already, then I'd be like, oh, yeah, I saw
your dog on Instagram. But if we haven't, then I
probably would not.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Say to be honest, yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
And you know one thing I've never seen on your
profile what so like anytime you've been in a relationship,
you've come out of a relationship, gone into one, you
never really posted it on social media, Like you never
make it into official or anythink.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
No I would.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
I don't think I would ever post my boyfriend on
the internet and my partner.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Does it give you the ick?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
It just feels a bit like intense, And I feel
like I would post it maybe on my like close
friends or on like a personal Instagram, But it just
feels intense, like all these people who follow me I
who don't know me, like knowing about my relationship.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Like I just don't like that idea. Wow, I feel
like you're quite like private about your relationship.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
I am, Yeah, but like before, like I would have
posted about boyfriends. Yeah, And I kind of learned the
hard way that like then you're giving people.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
A right to have an opinion one, and then once
you have that, it's almost like it's not your relationship.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
When break up you're going through a breakup, you're also
going through like everybody knowing.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
And having theories about it and deciding like I just been.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Boring breakup, nothing geese happened, Okay.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
I know, and they're making up all of these Honestly,
I've seen it with so many people that go through
like public breakups, and it's just like I would just
rather not.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
So how long have you been single?
Speaker 1 (08:54):
For?
Speaker 4 (08:54):
About twenty six years now? Really, I've had a lot
of fun with a lot of girls. Neverbody found one
that I really want to settle down with, like yet
may have already met her. Not too sure. You are
really funny, really really funny. But no, Yeah, I mean
I had rationships in school and at sixth form. But
(09:17):
I say, since I have sixth form, yeah, only like
long term buddies.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Sewhere Yeah of course yeah buddies right? Okay, But is
that is that because?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Is that because like is it just a mutual thing
or if you have girls like wanting it to be more?
Speaker 4 (09:36):
No, I've had a lot of girls told me to
love me.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Yeah, well I'm at an age now where whoever I
get with NEX is going to have a significant X.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
They're going to be divorced.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
No, I know exactly.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
And I'm like, but even I've got like a significant X,
and it's like there's no purity like anymore when you
meet someone, they've always got someone else that's going to
be like a bit of a soft spot in your relationship.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
So that's nice, but it's funny when men are.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Like, yeah, I've had so many girls like really wanting
to be serious with me, and I'm just like, nope,
not found the one.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
That's when I'm not a grow up.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yeah, it does give that kind of complex that he's
just like everything's revolving around him, like nothing's wrong with him.
It's everyone else.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
But also it sounds like not necessarily him. But you know,
when people are like that, it's a bit like, Okay, well,
why are you misleading so many people into thinking you're
going to be in a relationship with them?
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Okay, great, Sorry, I do think we're sending We're actually
saying like he forgets because you're going on twenty eight
days to find the one. So it's like yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
So there was this weird moment, right, I brought Eddie
my dog on the day, and he just wasn't really
acknowledging her or looking at her, and so I called
him out for it.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
I don't think you liked that.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
I don't like dogs. I don't do oh, I don't
like dogs, know, are you joking? I had a bit
there was a whole thing when I was younger, we
had a dog and it all went went it's up
potentially I I left a washing basket on the hob
and the house went up and the dog was in
(11:12):
the house just like that was bad. I got back,
I saw that there was like smoke coming for the window,
so like ran inside like whole places of fire, like
grabbed grabbed him like right out of the door, like
passed out fire fire and grabbed me. Took me to
(11:34):
the hospital. Obviously dog was long dead. So since then,
never been a fan. But you that's a reasonable reason
to not like.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Yeah, but that's also it's not that you're not a fan.
It's not normatized.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's just not saying like
when I look at when I look at your dogs.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
And laugh, whoa, oh my god, number one. Can I
just say that's such a like he's no, look, I'm
not a psychologist, but like he definitely has allowed it
like that. That's like a very traumatic thing to go through.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
That's so traumatic. Can you imagine killing your family dog?
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Yeah? And also I know he's like, oh I look
at dogs, and I'm like, oh no. But it's like
if you had a really bad experience with men, you
might be like, oh, I never want a date. I
don't want to like, do you get me?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
I think it's definitely not because actually, after a while
spending time with him, we actually hung out for like
the whole evening. Yeah, he actually liked the dog and
then was like cuddling the dog at the end. But
I think just had, like you said, been so traumatized
by this experience that he couldn't even look at dogs
because he would be reminded of it.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Oh my god. You kind of want to give him
a hug, don't you.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
I know, I know, And I felt like that's such
a sad story.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
And I was like, wow, such a sad story.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
I mean, I quite respect you on dates people going
that deep and like telling stories like that. I sort
of appreciated it because I was like, oh, you're not
just giving me surface level stuff, do you know what
I mean?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
No? And it gives context because if he just turned
around into and said no, I'm just not into them,
you'd be like, Okay, that's a bit of a red flag.
But now these given context, you're actually like, I can
understand why you're not cuddling my dog right now. I
feel so bad for him. He gets extra band points
in this round because that is awful.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
So is this whole podcast dates to try and maybe
get your limit better flirting?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
No, it's not because I've never had any desire to
be going to flying.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
That's good. Everyone wants they can't help.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Do not like flying? No, I think I think it's
so it's.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Like I hate small tool nice absolutely.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
I think the best flirting is when like it doesn't
the girl doesn't think it's flirting.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
You know, you don't.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
You don't, you don't acknowledge it's flirting. It's just a
subtle I think it's more about like small body language
and grace. Please put your top back on. Okay, I
to hear that's really appropriate.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
You know what I've never thought about, like what is
flourishing before but like he said it right there, it
kind of is like half what you say, but your body.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Language it is. And that's why a lot of flirting
is eye contact.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Yeah, I'm really bad at flirting because I think my
style of flirting is like almost ripping the piss out
of people. And I also find it really awkward to
keep eye contact. So I say, people go away, and
they go, she's a fucking bitch, she hates me, and
I like them.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
It's so much about your physical language, like I think,
because I could say something that's not flirty, but then
if I said it in a certain tone and look
to you in a certain way, it would be obvious
that I'm flirting with you.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
And also like you know, putting your hand on their
shoulder kind of like laughing and like making contact with
them while you're talking. That is, Yeah, that's flirting, to
be honest.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
My main tip for flirting on a day if it's
just like all about how you look at them, Like
I just feel like when I'm on a day and
I like want to get with the person and like
I'm attracted to them, I would just make a very
specific type of eye contact to them, which is like,
I want to have sex with you with my eyes.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
So I have a question, though, have you ever been
around someone that they're so good looking and you like
them so much that you can flir properly?
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
When I was younger, definitely.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
It hasn't happened since you were in I don't.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Know, yeah, yeah, when I was in my early twenties,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Like, I went on a date with a guy like
not long ago, and he was so fair, and I
remember being like, oh my god, like I was obviously
him and I was like, oh my god, like I
actually can't believe I'm oppositely someone this hot.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
But I was still capable of flying. But I was like,
I kept.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Being like sort of checking to see if he was blind,
think holding off? Wait can you see that flying into
your face? So we were deciding what to have next
to drink, and while I was getting up to go
and get them, he left a little note on the recording.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
So Grace is at the bar. So I thought, I
take this time to just deeply from the it's going
pretty well. She's great, and she has come back.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I was gonna shot, Oh, he's so cute.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
He's very cute. I like him.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
That's really cute.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Yeah, and like you know what, obviously we've we've run
through like him and there hasn't really been any red
flags ranting that you.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Know there was. There was nothing that bothered me. No,
not even the dead dog. That wasn't his fault.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
He just seems like super honest, really nice. Obviously. I
know you said the accent was a bit whatever, but
like Grace, it's not a big deal in fairness if
coming over from Ireland, like that's a bit. That's an
attractive accent, you know.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
It's h m it is Hugh Grant.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yeah, we're doing on Saturday night.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Why ask me out?
Speaker 4 (16:49):
No, there's a there's for this event on Saturday.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
I'm around, I've got a gig at five.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Where's the gig?
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Really?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Really, Grace, Grace, I know my mum says I have
a real issue. I yawn all the time. It's a
nerve thing. I yawn when I'm like.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Nerv Even talking about yawning though, it makes me want
toy on, like hearing you y on.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
So before a gig, I yawn like unbelievable amounts I
have to even on on dates date, so you're quite
a lot because but it's not because I'm tired, it's
because I'm anxious.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
It's really weird. It's it's just a nerve thing.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Do you ever yawn in the middle of a gig.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
No, I never yearned when I'm on stage because I'm
being like pumped with adrenaline beforehand.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
I will yawn so much.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Grace, that's just your tactic for putting him back in
the box. You didn't want to boli him after the dogs,
he said, I'll just give a little yawn just so
he doesn't.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Get to know. It's more that it's more a nerve thing.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
And I think I did say that it's not you,
it's it's me being nervous. But yeah, the event he
was throwing was a rave on that Saturday, and I
didn't end up going because I'm not really in my
raving era at the moment.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
You know what, though, it was going so well until
the rave, so.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Well, you were like, you're gonna get married.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
And then oh, oh my god, I'm like, I really
like him. I actually think he just seems like such
a nice guy. But the fact that he's twenty six
and he's still into raving questionable.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yeah, he was throwing a rave. He was throwing a
rage questionable. So I didn't go to the rave, and
he did message me that day saying are you coming
to the rave?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
And I was like, no, I'm really sorry.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
I'm not coming because I haven't got a dog sitter,
because I'm an adult with a dog.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Yeah, but I.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Would see him again.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Yeah, I actually think he should see him again.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
And I think as well.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Like one of the things that I liked about this
scenario is that it wasn't like from a dating app.
It was like a bit more organic where we'd already
met and then he'd messaged me on Instagram. I prefer
situations like that because as already we've already gotten over
the sort of like weird shit. And I respect people
for siding into my dms. It used to happen so
(18:53):
much more, and it happens way less now, I think,
because maybe I'm a bit more intimidating than I used
to be.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
It.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
But I used to get so many men's signing into
my dms.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Can I just say, and this is something I didn't
mention the start. He clearly has been talking about you
for the last year to his friends, his family, his
cousin's being like this girl Grace I met, I really
like her. He's clearly had eyes with you, which is
actually kind of like I just think that's that's really
like adhering about him.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Yeah, it's cute. Good for him.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
You have been her best so far. Congratulations you win
nothing but possibly a second date.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Because you went absolutely nothing.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Maybe you'll maybe you'll meet me again if I'm feeling generous.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Next time. On twenty eight dates later, I can't go
out of someone who is badly dressed.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Yeah, fucking non branded trainers, ill fitting jeans, a fucking
T shirt with the Rolling Stones logo on it describing
what I'm wearing right now.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Oh does he aroub me? I'm a savage?
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Oh my god, can grab me? Twenty eight Dates Later
is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio. For more from Novel,
visit novel dot Audio. The series is presented by me
Grace Campbell, with help from Roz Pursu and Dan Whyde.
The producer is Diggory Way. The executive producer is Claire Broughton.
(20:16):
Our editors are mythillly Raw and Max O'Brien. Production management
from Cherie Houston and Charlotte Wall. Willard Foxton is our
creative director of Development novel
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