April 30, 2024 • 40 mins
When Tori traveled to California's wine country to interview country music superstar Sara Evans, it's like she found her soul sister!
In this episode they bond over painful divorces, public scrutiny, and the pros and cons of being open books on their respective podcasts.
Sara discusses the reasons she chose to fight for her marriage, and how it all plays out in her upcoming album "Unbroke."
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
Misspelling with Tory Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. Okay, I am
joined by a country music superstar. She has countless hits
and awards under her belt, Plus she has new music
coming out, an album called Unbroke and the best legs
(00:30):
in the business Welcome with me. Sarah Evans, you are
my idol.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I would have had ten if I could have. And
I've been following you all these years and watching you
just like pop these babies out, and I'm like, I
want that, but I can only have three. I was
fucking fertile.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I didn't know how many is all together?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Five fight?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yeah, and you have three? I have three. But I
come from a family of seven, and that's yeah, where
do you like not? I'm number three? I was between
the two boys, and then there was me and then
two girls that were sixteen months apart. And then my
mother and father divorced after five kids, and then my
mom got remarried and had two little girls, have two
(01:16):
half sisters. So I was always kind of alone. Like
in the family, I didn't I didn't have a partner.
Yeah that's sad. Yeah, that's kind of sad. Effect Well,
I think it's probably the reason that because my whole
family's musical, as I explained on stage, so it could
be the reason that I just really went after the
(01:37):
dream of music, because you know, I felt like I
wanted to make a life different and of my own sort.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Of right age four.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Yeah, at age four, our parents realized that we could
sing and you know, do music. And I'm so grateful
to my mom because we were farmers, and farmers are
not only always broke, but they're so busy. And my
mother could have been and you know this, having five kids,
my mom could have just said, my kids are so
(02:08):
talented and they can do music, and that would have
been it. But she made the efforts and went out
and bought music equipment and found musicians and did that
for us. And I'm so great because, you know, a lot.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Way before Chris Jenner Way, Mamager.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Oh my god, my mom was the original Christian. My god, yes, yeah,
totally like you know what I'm saying. As moms, we
could have been just too tired to do it always.
I'm very grateful that she pushed us. One time I
asked her, why did you do that? You know, when
(02:50):
we were so busy and we had so much going on,
and she said, because I wanted you to be more
than just you know, play sports in a small town,
and I wanted you to get out and so I
owe it to my mother.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Oh wow, well and yourself.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
And yes, wait, I.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Can't talk to you right now unless I tell you
the story of my teeth.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Okay, what happened?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Okay, so my whole life I had like terrible teeth.
My best friend for my fiftieth birthday was like, he's
a huge dynasty. He's like, I'm giving you. It's like Oprah, like,
look on your seat, you got new Veneers. Whoa way Govenirs?
You got venirs?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
And yeah, so are you telling me this because my
teeth are crooked? Oh my god, let me lick your
teeth there, and I need Veneers. I want vine ears.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
You're so hot and I want to lick your teeth. Sorry, sorry, Jay.
Her husband's right here.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
She would probably love that. Oh my god, that.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Little crooked tooth is turning me on.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Okay, an, wait, so you have temporaries in right now?
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Oh, I got yesterday and I'm lisping and I was like,
I'm interviewing Sarah Evans and this is not okay, so
I felt the need to tell you, and then I
can't get it out of the way, and then we
move on.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I never would have known. You're doing great with it.
Are you in pain? And do you have pain pills
that you could share?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Oh God, I love you already.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah you too.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
But yeah, if you hear me lisping, it's not because
I'm drunk, it's because.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
It's the reason. Yeah, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
But they're white and they're crisp and there they look amazing.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
We're all the same age. We were joking that there's
hot flashes up in here.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Yeah, there's a.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Lot of hot.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
I'm done in menopause. You're what I'm done with it?
I'm pretty sure done. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Oh like has an end?
Speaker 3 (04:52):
It's ended if one year at tori, if one year
or no period, allegedly, you're done.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, and then you're and what Harry, listen to me
get pregnant during minopause? Did you know that?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
My friend told me that, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I would love to be pregnant again. But then my
name my friend, my son Avery's twenty four, okay, he's
my favorite. And then my daughter, Audrey, I mean Livy
is twenty one, and my daughter Audrey is nineteen.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
One of the reasons I wanted to bring you together
is you really have a lot of your journey in common.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
First of all, i'd love to have another baby.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I would too. Oh my god, it's the best. There's
no better time in your life than when you bring
that baby home. I never complained about losing sleep, No, no, no,
I loved it every second of it.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Same same Jay. Well, I don't know if you're open this.
Would you impregnate both of us? It's just a question.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Yeah, I mean, at this point we're in our fifties.
Who cares?
Speaker 1 (06:03):
You know?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
One might have to be done through ibs. That would
be me and me.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Sister. I'm totally in menopause, but I'm still bummed, like
I should have freezed my eggs.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Yeah, I'm begging my children to have children because you know,
I'm gonna just steal the grandchildren.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Oh my god. I fucking love you because I have
this idea. It's like a lifetime movie idea where a
mother steals her kids eggs because she's dating a younger man.
Sound familiar.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
That's the best idea ever.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
It's called my daughter's eggs.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Can I be in it. I'll play an egg.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Uh can you be the lead? By the way, I
just have to tell you you have the hottest legs
the business.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Thank you their gift from my mother. But I didn't
do anything to like earn them. It's just she's got
great legs, and I, you know, thank God got that
from her. I mean, thank you for saying that.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, of course, let's go back like you started. And
I know you started a four, but you started in
your twenties becoming famous. What age do you think you
became famous.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I think I became famous at age twenty eight or
twenty nine, okay, because I decided I'm not gonna have
a baby until I have a number one record, because
I wanted to be able.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
To a woman yes, and I.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Wanted to able to have enough money to have a nanny,
because I was not gonna go on the road and
not take my kids with me. I would have just quit.
And I'm friends with Martina McBride, and so one day
it was huge pregnant, sitting on the couch with my
first child. I never found out what I was having either.
I always made it a surprise. All three, yep, all three.
(08:07):
So I said, what am I gonna do when the
baby's born? How am I going to tour? And she said,
you know, anything that the record label asks you to do,
you need to say you have to pay for a nanny,
because I'm not doing it without bringing the baby. So
I had my first number one record, and then I
(08:27):
got pregnant, and that's when I feel like I became
famous because with that pregnancy, I gained over fifty pounds.
And I remember sitting on the couch and I saw
a Faith Hill video come on TV and I was like,
you know that bitch and then she she's beautiful, Oh
(08:48):
my god. And so I just was like, I'm gonna
grow my hairlong, I'm gonna get so skinny, and I'm
going to be a hot mom. And then my song
went number one and then we came out with to Fly.
So right around twenty thirty, I've felt famous.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
So Taylor Swift says, you were stunted at the age
you become famous. Interesting, But you say twenty eight twenty nine.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
I would say I would say I act about twent
ine thirty.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Yeah, do you feel stunted at that age?
Speaker 2 (09:25):
I don't feel stunted at that age, but you know
how as you age. I remember my dad telling me
this one time that you never feel different after like thirty,
like you kind of always think the same way about clothes,
about fashion, about style, about you know, having fun. I
don't think you ever really change your mindset after about
(09:47):
thirty in your thirties, because my dad was like, I
still feel like I'm in my thirties. So stunted might
not be the right word. And we all know Taylor
Swift is terrible with words. But but yeah, I don't
feel much different than I did twenty four years ago
when Avery was born.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
You don't look much different.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Well, thank you, you don't either, thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
So we're here in Napa Country in the vineyards and
I introduce you twenty one days to break a habit? Yes, correct, Yes,
I watched you. I fucking cheered from the crowd, and
that hit home. Is that true?
Speaker 2 (10:42):
You know I come from I've always heard that if
you can do anything for twenty one days, then you're
broken a habit, you know, like or you've started a habit. Okay,
So like you know, if you if you're like I'm
gonna jog for twenty one days straight, then you're you've
entered into that habit. So I was writing with Jeff
Trott and Melissa Fuller. Jeff Trott co produced all Sheryl
(11:04):
Crow's records, co wrote all of her songs. He wrote
if It Makes You Happy by himself.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Oh my god, yeah and wow.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
So I went in and I had this idea because
I'm a lyricist. I don't like love writing melodies. I'm
much more of a lyricist. So I was like, Jane
and I were separated at the time, and so I
wanted to write a song that was kind of on
the funnier side of things, like if you can do
something for twenty one days, you know, you would break
(11:34):
a habit. But I couldn't even go two days without
you know, talking.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
To Jay or one thank you.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Yeah. Like I say, we were separated, but we were
always together, always texting because we're soulmates and we're so
in love. And so nevertheless, we ended up writing the
song they say it takes twenty one days to break
a habit, And then at the end, I was like,
(12:04):
wouldn't it be funny if we got on the calculator
and trying to figure out how much time that is?
So it's five hundred hours, two hundred minutes, twenty four
hundred seconds. That's twenty one days. Is there a habit
you're trying to break? Yes, Sarah, what is it?
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Well, I just got out of an eighteen year marriage.
I see, so I'm trying to break that.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
And you know, it's really hard because depending on the situation,
sometimes like your therapist or whatever, we'll say, you know what,
my therapist.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Your therapists have one. So yeah, yeah, I'm happy you're here.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Well, Jane and I are going to be in marriage
counseling for the rest of our lives because it is
truly so helpful. It's so helpful. And then outside of therapy,
we don't talk about anything, so we save it all
for therapy. I mean we talk. We're like dead signs
now they say that's yeah, you know, helpful. And so
(13:12):
depending on the situation, if you're going to try to
go no contact to make it easier on you, Yes,
the twenty one days is where the idea for that
song came from. I never succeeded. When Jaye and I
first got married, we used to try to make it
a rule with certain people in our lives that we
(13:35):
were going to do texting back and forth five words
or less, Yes that sounds good, or I will be
there at five just to keep the emotion out of
it all that, because there's so much emotion.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I think I'm more interested actually in my future right
and like the future human I partner with?
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Correct, what is that look like? I believe that if
you are really going to divorce, you're really going to
be okay. If you're really going to do that. My
opinion is, you know that needs because I have a
friend who's going through this right now and she's really
(14:21):
worried about that. I never thought about it because I
knew that there's no way I'm not ending up with Jay,
you know, I just knew that. But even though we
went through a hard time, I knew that we were
going to have grandchildren together. He adopted my children, he
raised them, so I knew that we were But my
(14:43):
friend is thinking the same thing that you are. What
is what if I end up alone?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Right?
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Nobody wants to think about balance down, ye.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Friends are like, I just want you to get what
you deserve right, always the thing, and no one can
know what you deserve except for you.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
And if you you know, I don't know at all
where you stand. But what I always tell my friend
who's going through a divorce, trust God be still, let
him work it out. But it is a very scary
thought to think about being alone at fifty. Yeah, but
(15:25):
you will not be Tori. How do you know, Sarah Evans?
You're beautiful, love your home name, you're beautiful.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Kids. Who wants that?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Yeah? But you A lot of people do a lot
of people do. I mean, if I were you, I
would focus more on healing from your marriage. Yeah, and
then moving to that now I've been divorced already. When
I was divorcing him was a totally different because I
(16:00):
couldn't stand the motherfucker. And so Craig, Yes, so I
think I did. Think you guys.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Married a year later after we met met Okay, tell
me yes?
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Sorry, sorry, Well, you know this is so funny. So
Craig and I did a lot of marriage counseling. I
I always felt guilty because I didn't truly love him. However,
I have three children with him, and I'm as you know,
(16:34):
you wouldn't change that for anything in the world. Yea,
but he has not been in their lives at all.
He has not been present at all. He hasn't seen
them since twenty fourteen. Heartbreaking, yes, but thank god they
had Jay. I mean, Jay stepped in, raised them, you know,
took care of them. So I was a lot more
(16:59):
worried about the things you're thinking about right now when
I was going through.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
That divorce at the time.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
At the time, however, I was only in my early thirties,
so I knew that I would meet somebody, but it's
different at fifty.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
You worry about that.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
So Jay and I were introduced by a marriage counselor Jake.
Is that not hilarious? So he and his wife were
separated ex wife. Craig and I were going through marriage
counseling because I didn't believe in divorce.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
I didn't.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
I couldn't fathom it. My parents divorced when I was twelve.
It killed me. My dad was a wonderful dad, but
he was a bad divorce dad, you know what I mean.
So I was always chasing after him and trying to
get his love, and so I developed a lot of
(17:56):
daddy issues. I know, that's such a common overused phrase.
I did now, And so Craig and I counseled with
this guy named Joe. He went down to Alabama and
counseled with Jay. So Joe calls me and he said,
I've never done this before because I've spent my life
trying to keep marriages together. But I don't think that
(18:21):
you should stay with Craig because there's a lot of problems.
He said, And I have somebody that I want you
to meet. And I was like, no, no, no, no,
I'm never getting married again.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Your marriage counselor set you up on.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Yes, what the heck isn't that funny? And so he said, listen,
when you're a divorce's final, you call me, we'll meet.
I'll tell you the person is. I'm not gonna tea you.
So we were My whole family were like, oh my god,
who could it be? And so then when I found
out it was Jay. Jay played football at Alabama. He
was a quarterback superstar down there, won the national championship
(18:55):
in ninety two. Then he played professional ball, and he said,
I think it more if nothing else, you guys would
be great friends. You've been through the same pace, say that, Yeah,
you'd be good friends.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
So I was. I put the kids to bed one night,
I was doing the dishes. I went into my office
at home and I emailed Jay and I said, Hey,
it's Sarah Evans. Joe told me about you. Went back
to the kitchen. Yeah, and I heard the ding on
my computer and I'm like, he's been sitting here waiting
for me to email him, because he responded immediately, and
(19:32):
so we just started talking NonStop. We had a very
fast courtship. Our divorces were final one day apart. We
have so much in common. He has four children, So
I ended up moving to Mountain Brook, Alabama, and we
raised our family to the kids. WHOA, you beat me?
(19:54):
I did, but I didn't raise his children. They were
with us in the normal uh parenting plan like every
other weekend under that kind of stuff. My kids were
with us all the time because their dad, you know,
just high tailed it out of town and went to Oregon,
where he's from. And yeah, so it's it's none of
(20:17):
it's easy. It's hard. Marriage is very hard, and you've
got to work at it, and you know, you have
to have two very healthy people. Jane and I've learned
a lot about ourselves and about our marriage and about
what is and is not appropriate and acceptable and and
We're going.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Forward, understood. Sarah and Jay, you guys were apart for
a while, though, what happened there?
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Did you cheat on me while we were so kid?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
I'm gidding, Sorry Jay, she found out.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I found my bad. I think we were both miserable.
I was miserable. Now. We were going through some very
tough issues, and you know, I spoke about it on
(21:18):
my podcasts and kind of I was just kind of
going to be like, I'm gonna I'm gonna talk about
it and then I'm going to try to let it
go because it's it's quite embarrassing to our children, honestly
to hear about it.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
My kids are the same, I want to hear this.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Yeah. So now I just I know that that we've
both changed so much and our marriage is incredibly healthy. Now.
We communicate now, even today I was like, is something wrong?
Is done it?
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Da?
Speaker 2 (21:51):
We communicate so well, where before that might have turned
into a big fight, but today it was just an
normal conversation between two married people. But during the separation,
I was drinking all the time, just miserable because I
(22:12):
missed my husband. I wanted him back. But now I
say that I was not that way with my first
marriage at all.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Ever. Ever, it says something.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Literally, in the last two weeks, you've each been the
top story on People magazine.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Is that helpful?
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Hurtful, harder? What is that for both of you?
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I would say for me, it's very, very hard because,
for instance, my four step children fucking hate it. I
mean they hate it because it's embarrassing. Yeah, and when
you're famous, and as you know, when you're famous but
(22:56):
you've got family members that aren't, well, they're like, I
didn't choose to be famous. You're the famous ones, So
don't talk about me. You don't talk about my dad,
don't talk about you know.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
My fifteen year old says that exact thing all the time.
I didn't choose this, right, Like, you're born into it.
How we make our money right? Literally? Like sorry, yeah?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
But you know, with me, I can talk to my
three about it a lot easier because they've been with
me every single day of their lives. When you're a stepmom,
it's a it's a different thing because you're trying very
hard to you know, I'm not trying to be your mom,
(23:43):
but I love you as though you were mine, but
I'm not. You know, it's it's a man. It's a
tight rope to walk. Yeah, it really is.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Step parents.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Yeah, it's it's hardly Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
My soon to be X has a girlfriend, a living
girlfriend who has met the kids, and I like her.
Oh good, They actually really like her. She's supportive of him.
They keep each other accountable, they're sober, and yeah, it's
(24:19):
a different.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
That will be very very very good for your children
if you and she get along, agreed.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Yeah, And I hope the partner I end up being
with is the same person for my kids, right and
going forward?
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Yes, yeah, yeah, I will pray that for you.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Yeah, for step children who I love. It's making things
harder between us and I wanted to go the opposite way,
but then at the same time, truth, it's the truth
when it's out in the public.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
You know.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
It was very hard to to decide whether or not
to talk about it. And I asked Jay, for instance,
the song Pride, I said, if you want me to,
I'll make that third person she he you know, instead
of and he was like, absolutely not. This is your
(25:19):
song that you wrote. This is your story to tell,
even though it involves me in all seven of our children.
But for healing, for our marriage. We've got to be honest. Yeah,
otherwise we're just going to go back into the same cycle,
cycle and dysfunctional patterns. So, you know, I was very
(25:45):
proud of him and grateful to him for saying, no,
you sing that song exactly as you wrote it, don't
change it. And then he also you know, gave me
permission to speak about it on the first episode of
my podcast. I didn't go in the detail, but it
(26:05):
was clear enough. And now I just you know, I
want to stop embarrassing our kids and and just move
forward with life, and I want them to know that
everything's fine, that they're safe, we're safe, and we're all good. Now,
(26:28):
that's not always the case. It doesn't always happen that way.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
In your great relevant I mean, you're an amazing, iconic performer,
but you're still relevant in the press, and they're always
going to talk about you. They want fascination. So that's
something that's just going to keep coming up, right, It's hard. Yeah,
(26:56):
how do you manage that?
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I think, you know, my hop in prayers of the
further away we get from our separation and from all
of that, that it'll just become old news. You know,
the news cycle is so fast, and that's my hope
and prayer. And then the more that people see that
we're together and that we're in love. And you know,
(27:18):
Jay and I have a lot of things that we've
opened up about in therapy that are not excuses for
anything but reasons. And that's why I say it's helped
us so much, and we'll be in therapy for the
rest of our lives because you begin to understand each
other a lot better, like I never oh, I never
(27:41):
knew you felt that.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Wait, can you give me the number of your therapists
because I'm hopeful they'll set me up with someone that
I am and I just want to meet somebody I
will get.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Sorry you're you don't have to worry about that. You
don't have to worry about it.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Fucking worry about.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Don't I know you're worried about it.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
I really do.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
With five kids, I really understand like a safe space,
that's all I understand. I really do. But trust me,
you are not going to be alone you you're too beautiful,
you're too funny, you're too You're just open and you're
like me and a lot and we're both very open
(28:31):
and but I get it not meat before. I don't know.
I don't know. I've always liked to you, I've always
followed you. I've always been interested in you.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
Yeah, are Sarah and j two point oh better than
version one?
Speaker 2 (28:47):
For sure? Sarah and Jay marriage two point oh is
probably I mean it's night and day from marriage on.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
No, no, no, And we named it that, yeah, marriage
two point oh yeah, just because no, No, I just
get emotional. But Jay is a great man who made
some bad choices. Everybody deserves forgiveness and love. He certainly does.
(29:22):
He's done a lot for me, and he's done so
much for my children, and he's a great father to
his children. And so I just couldn't be that person.
That's just like, I'm not gonna try.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
And I know so many fans were like why right,
Like it's over right.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
People don't understand, and it's a tough it's a very
tough topic because.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
It is you don't been there.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Yeah, it's a tough topic.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
They're in a marriage. Sorry, mine didn't work out. Yours
worked out, but I had that that happened where my husband,
well it was different. Mine was infidelity. And then you know,
people are like why are you staying? And I'm like,
because I'm choosing to try to work on this.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Right, and we've got five children, and yeah that I
mean so yeah, that was a big part of it.
But it's it's funny because like sometimes Jay, just like
any marriage will just piss me off or you know,
drive me crazy. I'm sure I drive him crazy too,
but we love each other and it's it's hard to explain,
(30:39):
you know, but I'm not sitting here I have.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
To explain because it's no one's fucking business.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
You're right, you're right, literally, you're right.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
And that's what it comes down to. Is they all
weigh in on our lives. Sorry interpt. No, no, no, no, they
all weigh in our lives. And at the end of
the day, it's no one's fucking business between it's between.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
The two of you, right, And people think they.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Know and that sucks, yeah, because you take so much
of that on because you're a public figure and you
take it on, you take it on and it influences
how you feel about your partner, and it's not fair.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
That's right, that's perfectly said. That's right. It's very very difficult,
and I'm not on some high horse sitting here saying,
you know, but we worked it out and we stay
together because I haven't. I have divorced, and I feel
and I know people are gonna maybe maybe balk at
this or whatever, but my reasons for divorcing my first
(31:41):
husband to me were much more They were much more right,
I mean than if I were to divorce day. I mean,
those those were much more valid. That's the word. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
Yeah, I think in your music you never sounded.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Better or thank you you do.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
Your songs sound like the old Sarah Evans, if that
makes sense.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
Yeah, it's more about I'm competitive with myself and I'm
a perfectionist, so I just want to I'm a better
singer now than I was in my twenties. I just
want to get better and better and better all the time.
When I get to the point where I feel like
I'm not singing great, that I'm quitting because I will
(32:26):
not go out like we heard Sarah Evans tonight, No,
that is not worth it to me.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
You're a phenomenal singer.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Oh my god, you funny. Shit, you're funny.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
So are you listen all what?
Speaker 1 (32:48):
It's kind of cute.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
I like it. I like it maybe.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
I'll keep it.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Do you think in your fifties, for both of you,
you are more willing to talk like is that because
of the age we're all at now, where it's like,
you know what, we can just be authentic?
Speaker 2 (33:06):
I think, I mean, I I feel like honesty is
the best policy always.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Well, otherwise they create your narrative.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
You're right, Yeah, you're so right, and you don't gotta
you know, I'm never gonna sit here and tell anybody
the minute details of mine and Jay's issues.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Tell me after, yeah, okay, yea perfect tell you after.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
In fact, I texted you before the podcast and told
you everything. But I'm never going to do that.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
But honestly, is brushing so hard?
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Honesty is the best policy within reason, and don't don't don't, yeah,
don't humiliate your children. And but I do feel that
in the fifties, I feel like there's so many younger
women that need our advice and need us to be honest,
(34:08):
because how else are we gonna help them or stop
them from getting into a situation that we've been in
that we weren't happy with.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Mama. I'm just doing to heal myself, like I props
to the younger generation. But I'm just like, woof, I
can't take it anymore. I couldn't take it. Everyone was
creating so much drama and the wrong drama. And I,
you know, I've been schooled in the thought, you know,
(34:41):
from the nineties, like you don't comment, you don't do that.
I was finally like, I can't. Yeah, I have to
tell my story because it's my truth, sooner than later.
I don't want to do it later, like, I just
want to get it out there.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
And what you said is correct. They'll create it if
you don't tell it, they will. You're not going to
be alone. I just know that.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Okay, call your marriage counsel, like after this, okay, okay,
I'm not kidding.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Is it a boy or girl? Well, the one we're
using now is not the one that set us.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Up as a different I want the one to set
you up.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
I'll call him and I'll be like, who has divorced
recently and who would like to date Tory spelling. Oh
my god, that's what I'm gonna.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Do, Sarah as because I don't want to be alone.
You are lonely, by the way, I'm not. Everyone's like, oh,
you're just so scared of being alone, Like, no, I'm
never alone. I have five kids, right, I'm never alone.
It's not that I just want to partner. I want
(35:50):
absolutely like someone that gets you want a person, you
need a physical thing. I want someone that gets my
brain because my brain it's pretty big.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Yeah, no one.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Has ever seen it. And I swear I'm like.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Cool, why don't you go on that famous person dating site? Oh? Riah,
I don't know. I never.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Ry. So it's wild because you know, I've been married
eighteen years.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
There were no dating apps, right, So.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
I would go through with my friends and then I'd
be like, that's funny. And now I'm like, oh, is.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
That going to be me?
Speaker 1 (36:41):
And my kids are mortified. They hear that because I
tell everything to my kids and they're like, yeah, you
can't be on a dating app. And I'm like, how
am I going to meet someone? And then I go,
I'm going to be the old cat. I have one cat.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
I'm going to be the old cat lady. No, I'm
just I swear I have a I have a good
intuition about things. And you're not going to be alone.
You're not going to be alone for very much longer.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Really, Yeah, wait, what's his name and what's his sign?
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Well, I don't know signs, but I'm an Aquarius. I'm
just gonna go ahead and say Aquarius and February what
February fifth?
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (37:24):
Yeah? Yeah, but how old is your youngest child?
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Seven?
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Okay, you need to wait a little bit. I can't
just a little bit. Oh, just a little bit.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
See, you've been through this in between sorry j ear muffs,
Like in between things when people are like, just work
on yourself, just be alone.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
Yeah, go fuck yourself. It's hard because you want to
say you be alone, bitch.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
I hate when people say that. Yeah, it's terrible.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
You just need and.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Like, okay, do you sear all the people they're married
and happy and I'm like in relationships. Yeah, Like, don't
tell me to be alone and get to know yourself.
I don't fucking want to get to know myself.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Well, you do know yourself. I know myself exactly. Yeah.
And you're I want to say too, you're a tremendous mother.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
Since I was fifteen, so you know what, I know myself.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
You're a tremendous I want to make sure you hear
me say that you are a.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Sarah Evans.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
You are are you? Are you bad at taking compliments?
Speaker 1 (38:31):
Really bad? You're a superstar? Are you good at taking compliments? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (38:36):
I like them?
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Really?
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Uh huh wait, I like taking it?
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Well, give me wisdom, I mean, how do you do it?
Speaker 2 (38:45):
Probably because I didn't get a lot of compliments growing up.
And I don't mean that bad in any way, shape
or form about my mom or my dad. But I'm
from the Midwest where farmers. We're very stoic, non emotional,
and so I don't know if the word is compliments,
but I do love validation. I crave validation. Yeah, I
(39:09):
get that.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
So on my bucket list, which I was married for
eighteen years, never thought it would happen, was like, I
never dated a musician?
Speaker 2 (39:20):
Do that? Who? What about Kenny Chesney? A single?
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Oh Kenny Chestney? Really?
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Well? Is he still cute? He's cute. Kenny and I
are friends and.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
I know he resorts to you reason. Yeah, job. I
was going to bring it up later.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
But am I supposed to do that my podcast? Yeah,
I'm going to think of somebody. I'm going to think
of somebody for you, Okay, I'm going to find a musician.
That's my dream. Musicians are the great people. Because she's you, well,
(39:59):
Kenny Chestney will we'll cheat on you most likely, but
he's ready fook us up immediately.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
I'm all in. I'm just kidding, talking you tonight to
get his fucking DM.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
I'm kidding, Kenny. I love you. This has been incredible.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Really, Oh my god, I love you.
Misspelling with Tory Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. Okay, I am
joined by a country music superstar. She has countless hits
and awards under her belt, Plus she has new music
coming out, an album called Unbroke and the best legs
(00:30):
in the business Welcome with me. Sarah Evans, you are
my idol.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I would have had ten if I could have. And
I've been following you all these years and watching you
just like pop these babies out, and I'm like, I
want that, but I can only have three. I was
fucking fertile.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I didn't know how many is all together?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Five fight?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yeah, and you have three? I have three. But I
come from a family of seven, and that's yeah, where
do you like not? I'm number three? I was between
the two boys, and then there was me and then
two girls that were sixteen months apart. And then my
mother and father divorced after five kids, and then my
mom got remarried and had two little girls, have two
(01:16):
half sisters. So I was always kind of alone. Like
in the family, I didn't I didn't have a partner.
Yeah that's sad. Yeah, that's kind of sad. Effect Well,
I think it's probably the reason that because my whole
family's musical, as I explained on stage, so it could
be the reason that I just really went after the
(01:37):
dream of music, because you know, I felt like I
wanted to make a life different and of my own sort.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Of right age four.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Yeah, at age four, our parents realized that we could
sing and you know, do music. And I'm so grateful
to my mom because we were farmers, and farmers are
not only always broke, but they're so busy. And my
mother could have been and you know this, having five kids,
my mom could have just said, my kids are so
(02:08):
talented and they can do music, and that would have
been it. But she made the efforts and went out
and bought music equipment and found musicians and did that
for us. And I'm so great because, you know, a lot.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Way before Chris Jenner Way, Mamager.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Oh my god, my mom was the original Christian. My god, yes, yeah,
totally like you know what I'm saying. As moms, we
could have been just too tired to do it always.
I'm very grateful that she pushed us. One time I
asked her, why did you do that? You know, when
(02:50):
we were so busy and we had so much going on,
and she said, because I wanted you to be more
than just you know, play sports in a small town,
and I wanted you to get out and so I
owe it to my mother.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Oh wow, well and yourself.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
And yes, wait, I.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Can't talk to you right now unless I tell you
the story of my teeth.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Okay, what happened?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Okay, so my whole life I had like terrible teeth.
My best friend for my fiftieth birthday was like, he's
a huge dynasty. He's like, I'm giving you. It's like Oprah, like,
look on your seat, you got new Veneers. Whoa way Govenirs?
You got venirs?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
And yeah, so are you telling me this because my
teeth are crooked? Oh my god, let me lick your
teeth there, and I need Veneers. I want vine ears.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
You're so hot and I want to lick your teeth. Sorry, sorry, Jay.
Her husband's right here.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
She would probably love that. Oh my god, that.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Little crooked tooth is turning me on.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Okay, an, wait, so you have temporaries in right now?
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Oh, I got yesterday and I'm lisping and I was like,
I'm interviewing Sarah Evans and this is not okay, so
I felt the need to tell you, and then I
can't get it out of the way, and then we
move on.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I never would have known. You're doing great with it.
Are you in pain? And do you have pain pills
that you could share?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Oh God, I love you already.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah you too.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
But yeah, if you hear me lisping, it's not because
I'm drunk, it's because.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
It's the reason. Yeah, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
But they're white and they're crisp and there they look amazing.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
We're all the same age. We were joking that there's
hot flashes up in here.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Yeah, there's a.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Lot of hot.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
I'm done in menopause. You're what I'm done with it?
I'm pretty sure done. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Oh like has an end?
Speaker 3 (04:52):
It's ended if one year at tori, if one year
or no period, allegedly, you're done.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, and then you're and what Harry, listen to me
get pregnant during minopause? Did you know that?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
My friend told me that, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I would love to be pregnant again. But then my
name my friend, my son Avery's twenty four, okay, he's
my favorite. And then my daughter, Audrey, I mean Livy
is twenty one, and my daughter Audrey is nineteen.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
One of the reasons I wanted to bring you together
is you really have a lot of your journey in common.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
First of all, i'd love to have another baby.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I would too. Oh my god, it's the best. There's
no better time in your life than when you bring
that baby home. I never complained about losing sleep, No, no, no,
I loved it every second of it.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Same same Jay. Well, I don't know if you're open this.
Would you impregnate both of us? It's just a question.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Yeah, I mean, at this point we're in our fifties.
Who cares?
Speaker 1 (06:03):
You know?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
One might have to be done through ibs. That would
be me and me.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Sister. I'm totally in menopause, but I'm still bummed, like
I should have freezed my eggs.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Yeah, I'm begging my children to have children because you know,
I'm gonna just steal the grandchildren.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Oh my god. I fucking love you because I have
this idea. It's like a lifetime movie idea where a
mother steals her kids eggs because she's dating a younger man.
Sound familiar.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
That's the best idea ever.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
It's called my daughter's eggs.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Can I be in it. I'll play an egg.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Uh can you be the lead? By the way, I
just have to tell you you have the hottest legs
the business.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Thank you their gift from my mother. But I didn't
do anything to like earn them. It's just she's got
great legs, and I, you know, thank God got that
from her. I mean, thank you for saying that.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, of course, let's go back like you started. And
I know you started a four, but you started in
your twenties becoming famous. What age do you think you
became famous.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I think I became famous at age twenty eight or
twenty nine, okay, because I decided I'm not gonna have
a baby until I have a number one record, because
I wanted to be able.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
To a woman yes, and I.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Wanted to able to have enough money to have a nanny,
because I was not gonna go on the road and
not take my kids with me. I would have just quit.
And I'm friends with Martina McBride, and so one day
it was huge pregnant, sitting on the couch with my
first child. I never found out what I was having either.
I always made it a surprise. All three, yep, all three.
(08:07):
So I said, what am I gonna do when the
baby's born? How am I going to tour? And she said,
you know, anything that the record label asks you to do,
you need to say you have to pay for a nanny,
because I'm not doing it without bringing the baby. So
I had my first number one record, and then I
(08:27):
got pregnant, and that's when I feel like I became
famous because with that pregnancy, I gained over fifty pounds.
And I remember sitting on the couch and I saw
a Faith Hill video come on TV and I was like,
you know that bitch and then she she's beautiful, Oh
(08:48):
my god. And so I just was like, I'm gonna
grow my hairlong, I'm gonna get so skinny, and I'm
going to be a hot mom. And then my song
went number one and then we came out with to Fly.
So right around twenty thirty, I've felt famous.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
So Taylor Swift says, you were stunted at the age
you become famous. Interesting, But you say twenty eight twenty nine.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
I would say I would say I act about twent
ine thirty.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Yeah, do you feel stunted at that age?
Speaker 2 (09:25):
I don't feel stunted at that age, but you know
how as you age. I remember my dad telling me
this one time that you never feel different after like thirty,
like you kind of always think the same way about clothes,
about fashion, about style, about you know, having fun. I
don't think you ever really change your mindset after about
(09:47):
thirty in your thirties, because my dad was like, I
still feel like I'm in my thirties. So stunted might
not be the right word. And we all know Taylor
Swift is terrible with words. But but yeah, I don't
feel much different than I did twenty four years ago
when Avery was born.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
You don't look much different.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Well, thank you, you don't either, thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
So we're here in Napa Country in the vineyards and
I introduce you twenty one days to break a habit? Yes, correct, Yes,
I watched you. I fucking cheered from the crowd, and
that hit home. Is that true?
Speaker 2 (10:42):
You know I come from I've always heard that if
you can do anything for twenty one days, then you're
broken a habit, you know, like or you've started a habit. Okay,
So like you know, if you if you're like I'm
gonna jog for twenty one days straight, then you're you've
entered into that habit. So I was writing with Jeff
Trott and Melissa Fuller. Jeff Trott co produced all Sheryl
(11:04):
Crow's records, co wrote all of her songs. He wrote
if It Makes You Happy by himself.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Oh my god, yeah and wow.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
So I went in and I had this idea because
I'm a lyricist. I don't like love writing melodies. I'm
much more of a lyricist. So I was like, Jane
and I were separated at the time, and so I
wanted to write a song that was kind of on
the funnier side of things, like if you can do
something for twenty one days, you know, you would break
(11:34):
a habit. But I couldn't even go two days without
you know, talking.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
To Jay or one thank you.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Yeah. Like I say, we were separated, but we were
always together, always texting because we're soulmates and we're so
in love. And so nevertheless, we ended up writing the
song they say it takes twenty one days to break
a habit, And then at the end, I was like,
(12:04):
wouldn't it be funny if we got on the calculator
and trying to figure out how much time that is?
So it's five hundred hours, two hundred minutes, twenty four
hundred seconds. That's twenty one days. Is there a habit
you're trying to break? Yes, Sarah, what is it?
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Well, I just got out of an eighteen year marriage.
I see, so I'm trying to break that.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
And you know, it's really hard because depending on the situation,
sometimes like your therapist or whatever, we'll say, you know what,
my therapist.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Your therapists have one. So yeah, yeah, I'm happy you're here.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Well, Jane and I are going to be in marriage
counseling for the rest of our lives because it is
truly so helpful. It's so helpful. And then outside of therapy,
we don't talk about anything, so we save it all
for therapy. I mean we talk. We're like dead signs
now they say that's yeah, you know, helpful. And so
(13:12):
depending on the situation, if you're going to try to
go no contact to make it easier on you, Yes,
the twenty one days is where the idea for that
song came from. I never succeeded. When Jaye and I
first got married, we used to try to make it
a rule with certain people in our lives that we
(13:35):
were going to do texting back and forth five words
or less, Yes that sounds good, or I will be
there at five just to keep the emotion out of
it all that, because there's so much emotion.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I think I'm more interested actually in my future right
and like the future human I partner with?
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Correct, what is that look like? I believe that if
you are really going to divorce, you're really going to
be okay. If you're really going to do that. My
opinion is, you know that needs because I have a
friend who's going through this right now and she's really
(14:21):
worried about that. I never thought about it because I
knew that there's no way I'm not ending up with Jay,
you know, I just knew that. But even though we
went through a hard time, I knew that we were
going to have grandchildren together. He adopted my children, he
raised them, so I knew that we were But my
(14:43):
friend is thinking the same thing that you are. What
is what if I end up alone?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Right?
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Nobody wants to think about balance down, ye.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Friends are like, I just want you to get what
you deserve right, always the thing, and no one can
know what you deserve except for you.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
And if you you know, I don't know at all
where you stand. But what I always tell my friend
who's going through a divorce, trust God be still, let
him work it out. But it is a very scary
thought to think about being alone at fifty. Yeah, but
(15:25):
you will not be Tori. How do you know, Sarah Evans?
You're beautiful, love your home name, you're beautiful.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Kids. Who wants that?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Yeah? But you A lot of people do a lot
of people do. I mean, if I were you, I
would focus more on healing from your marriage. Yeah, and
then moving to that now I've been divorced already. When
I was divorcing him was a totally different because I
(16:00):
couldn't stand the motherfucker. And so Craig, Yes, so I
think I did. Think you guys.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Married a year later after we met met Okay, tell
me yes?
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Sorry, sorry, Well, you know this is so funny. So
Craig and I did a lot of marriage counseling. I
I always felt guilty because I didn't truly love him. However,
I have three children with him, and I'm as you know,
(16:34):
you wouldn't change that for anything in the world. Yea,
but he has not been in their lives at all.
He has not been present at all. He hasn't seen
them since twenty fourteen. Heartbreaking, yes, but thank god they
had Jay. I mean, Jay stepped in, raised them, you know,
took care of them. So I was a lot more
(16:59):
worried about the things you're thinking about right now when
I was going through.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
That divorce at the time.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
At the time, however, I was only in my early thirties,
so I knew that I would meet somebody, but it's
different at fifty.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
You worry about that.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
So Jay and I were introduced by a marriage counselor Jake.
Is that not hilarious? So he and his wife were
separated ex wife. Craig and I were going through marriage
counseling because I didn't believe in divorce.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
I didn't.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
I couldn't fathom it. My parents divorced when I was twelve.
It killed me. My dad was a wonderful dad, but
he was a bad divorce dad, you know what I mean.
So I was always chasing after him and trying to
get his love, and so I developed a lot of
(17:56):
daddy issues. I know, that's such a common overused phrase.
I did now, And so Craig and I counseled with
this guy named Joe. He went down to Alabama and
counseled with Jay. So Joe calls me and he said,
I've never done this before because I've spent my life
trying to keep marriages together. But I don't think that
(18:21):
you should stay with Craig because there's a lot of problems.
He said, And I have somebody that I want you
to meet. And I was like, no, no, no, no,
I'm never getting married again.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Your marriage counselor set you up on.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Yes, what the heck isn't that funny? And so he said, listen,
when you're a divorce's final, you call me, we'll meet.
I'll tell you the person is. I'm not gonna tea you.
So we were My whole family were like, oh my god,
who could it be? And so then when I found
out it was Jay. Jay played football at Alabama. He
was a quarterback superstar down there, won the national championship
(18:55):
in ninety two. Then he played professional ball, and he said,
I think it more if nothing else, you guys would
be great friends. You've been through the same pace, say that, Yeah,
you'd be good friends.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
So I was. I put the kids to bed one night,
I was doing the dishes. I went into my office
at home and I emailed Jay and I said, Hey,
it's Sarah Evans. Joe told me about you. Went back
to the kitchen. Yeah, and I heard the ding on
my computer and I'm like, he's been sitting here waiting
for me to email him, because he responded immediately, and
(19:32):
so we just started talking NonStop. We had a very
fast courtship. Our divorces were final one day apart. We
have so much in common. He has four children, So
I ended up moving to Mountain Brook, Alabama, and we
raised our family to the kids. WHOA, you beat me?
(19:54):
I did, but I didn't raise his children. They were
with us in the normal uh parenting plan like every
other weekend under that kind of stuff. My kids were
with us all the time because their dad, you know,
just high tailed it out of town and went to Oregon,
where he's from. And yeah, so it's it's none of
(20:17):
it's easy. It's hard. Marriage is very hard, and you've
got to work at it, and you know, you have
to have two very healthy people. Jane and I've learned
a lot about ourselves and about our marriage and about
what is and is not appropriate and acceptable and and
We're going.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Forward, understood. Sarah and Jay, you guys were apart for
a while, though, what happened there?
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Did you cheat on me while we were so kid?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
I'm gidding, Sorry Jay, she found out.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I found my bad. I think we were both miserable.
I was miserable. Now. We were going through some very
tough issues, and you know, I spoke about it on
(21:18):
my podcasts and kind of I was just kind of
going to be like, I'm gonna I'm gonna talk about
it and then I'm going to try to let it
go because it's it's quite embarrassing to our children, honestly
to hear about it.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
My kids are the same, I want to hear this.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Yeah. So now I just I know that that we've
both changed so much and our marriage is incredibly healthy. Now.
We communicate now, even today I was like, is something wrong?
Is done it?
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Da?
Speaker 2 (21:51):
We communicate so well, where before that might have turned
into a big fight, but today it was just an
normal conversation between two married people. But during the separation,
I was drinking all the time, just miserable because I
(22:12):
missed my husband. I wanted him back. But now I
say that I was not that way with my first
marriage at all.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Ever. Ever, it says something.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Literally, in the last two weeks, you've each been the
top story on People magazine.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Is that helpful?
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Hurtful, harder? What is that for both of you?
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I would say for me, it's very, very hard because,
for instance, my four step children fucking hate it. I
mean they hate it because it's embarrassing. Yeah, and when
you're famous, and as you know, when you're famous but
(22:56):
you've got family members that aren't, well, they're like, I
didn't choose to be famous. You're the famous ones, So
don't talk about me. You don't talk about my dad,
don't talk about you know.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
My fifteen year old says that exact thing all the time.
I didn't choose this, right, Like, you're born into it.
How we make our money right? Literally? Like sorry, yeah?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
But you know, with me, I can talk to my
three about it a lot easier because they've been with
me every single day of their lives. When you're a stepmom,
it's a it's a different thing because you're trying very
hard to you know, I'm not trying to be your mom,
(23:43):
but I love you as though you were mine, but
I'm not. You know, it's it's a man. It's a
tight rope to walk. Yeah, it really is.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Step parents.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Yeah, it's it's hardly Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
My soon to be X has a girlfriend, a living
girlfriend who has met the kids, and I like her.
Oh good, They actually really like her. She's supportive of him.
They keep each other accountable, they're sober, and yeah, it's
(24:19):
a different.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
That will be very very very good for your children
if you and she get along, agreed.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Yeah, And I hope the partner I end up being
with is the same person for my kids, right and
going forward?
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Yes, yeah, yeah, I will pray that for you.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Yeah, for step children who I love. It's making things
harder between us and I wanted to go the opposite way,
but then at the same time, truth, it's the truth
when it's out in the public.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
You know.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
It was very hard to to decide whether or not
to talk about it. And I asked Jay, for instance,
the song Pride, I said, if you want me to,
I'll make that third person she he you know, instead
of and he was like, absolutely not. This is your
(25:19):
song that you wrote. This is your story to tell,
even though it involves me in all seven of our children.
But for healing, for our marriage. We've got to be honest. Yeah,
otherwise we're just going to go back into the same cycle,
cycle and dysfunctional patterns. So, you know, I was very
(25:45):
proud of him and grateful to him for saying, no,
you sing that song exactly as you wrote it, don't
change it. And then he also you know, gave me
permission to speak about it on the first episode of
my podcast. I didn't go in the detail, but it
(26:05):
was clear enough. And now I just you know, I
want to stop embarrassing our kids and and just move
forward with life, and I want them to know that
everything's fine, that they're safe, we're safe, and we're all good. Now,
(26:28):
that's not always the case. It doesn't always happen that way.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
In your great relevant I mean, you're an amazing, iconic performer,
but you're still relevant in the press, and they're always
going to talk about you. They want fascination. So that's
something that's just going to keep coming up, right, It's hard. Yeah,
(26:56):
how do you manage that?
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I think, you know, my hop in prayers of the
further away we get from our separation and from all
of that, that it'll just become old news. You know,
the news cycle is so fast, and that's my hope
and prayer. And then the more that people see that
we're together and that we're in love. And you know,
(27:18):
Jay and I have a lot of things that we've
opened up about in therapy that are not excuses for
anything but reasons. And that's why I say it's helped
us so much, and we'll be in therapy for the
rest of our lives because you begin to understand each
other a lot better, like I never oh, I never
(27:41):
knew you felt that.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Wait, can you give me the number of your therapists
because I'm hopeful they'll set me up with someone that
I am and I just want to meet somebody I
will get.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Sorry you're you don't have to worry about that. You
don't have to worry about it.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Fucking worry about.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Don't I know you're worried about it.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
I really do.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
With five kids, I really understand like a safe space,
that's all I understand. I really do. But trust me,
you are not going to be alone you you're too beautiful,
you're too funny, you're too You're just open and you're
like me and a lot and we're both very open
(28:31):
and but I get it not meat before. I don't know.
I don't know. I've always liked to you, I've always
followed you. I've always been interested in you.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
Yeah, are Sarah and j two point oh better than
version one?
Speaker 2 (28:47):
For sure? Sarah and Jay marriage two point oh is
probably I mean it's night and day from marriage on.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
No, no, no, And we named it that, yeah, marriage
two point oh yeah, just because no, No, I just
get emotional. But Jay is a great man who made
some bad choices. Everybody deserves forgiveness and love. He certainly does.
(29:22):
He's done a lot for me, and he's done so
much for my children, and he's a great father to
his children. And so I just couldn't be that person.
That's just like, I'm not gonna try.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
And I know so many fans were like why right,
Like it's over right.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
People don't understand, and it's a tough it's a very
tough topic because.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
It is you don't been there.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Yeah, it's a tough topic.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
They're in a marriage. Sorry, mine didn't work out. Yours
worked out, but I had that that happened where my husband,
well it was different. Mine was infidelity. And then you know,
people are like why are you staying? And I'm like,
because I'm choosing to try to work on this.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Right, and we've got five children, and yeah that I
mean so yeah, that was a big part of it.
But it's it's funny because like sometimes Jay, just like
any marriage will just piss me off or you know,
drive me crazy. I'm sure I drive him crazy too,
but we love each other and it's it's hard to explain,
(30:39):
you know, but I'm not sitting here I have.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
To explain because it's no one's fucking business.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
You're right, you're right, literally, you're right.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
And that's what it comes down to. Is they all
weigh in on our lives. Sorry interpt. No, no, no, no, they
all weigh in our lives. And at the end of
the day, it's no one's fucking business between it's between.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
The two of you, right, And people think they.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Know and that sucks, yeah, because you take so much
of that on because you're a public figure and you
take it on, you take it on and it influences
how you feel about your partner, and it's not fair.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
That's right, that's perfectly said. That's right. It's very very difficult,
and I'm not on some high horse sitting here saying,
you know, but we worked it out and we stay
together because I haven't. I have divorced, and I feel
and I know people are gonna maybe maybe balk at
this or whatever, but my reasons for divorcing my first
(31:41):
husband to me were much more They were much more right,
I mean than if I were to divorce day. I mean,
those those were much more valid. That's the word. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
Yeah, I think in your music you never sounded.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Better or thank you you do.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
Your songs sound like the old Sarah Evans, if that
makes sense.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
Yeah, it's more about I'm competitive with myself and I'm
a perfectionist, so I just want to I'm a better
singer now than I was in my twenties. I just
want to get better and better and better all the time.
When I get to the point where I feel like
I'm not singing great, that I'm quitting because I will
(32:26):
not go out like we heard Sarah Evans tonight, No,
that is not worth it to me.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
You're a phenomenal singer.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Oh my god, you funny. Shit, you're funny.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
So are you listen all what?
Speaker 1 (32:48):
It's kind of cute.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
I like it. I like it maybe.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
I'll keep it.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Do you think in your fifties, for both of you,
you are more willing to talk like is that because
of the age we're all at now, where it's like,
you know what, we can just be authentic?
Speaker 2 (33:06):
I think, I mean, I I feel like honesty is
the best policy always.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Well, otherwise they create your narrative.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
You're right, Yeah, you're so right, and you don't gotta
you know, I'm never gonna sit here and tell anybody
the minute details of mine and Jay's issues.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Tell me after, yeah, okay, yea perfect tell you after.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
In fact, I texted you before the podcast and told
you everything. But I'm never going to do that.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
But honestly, is brushing so hard?
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Honesty is the best policy within reason, and don't don't don't, yeah,
don't humiliate your children. And but I do feel that
in the fifties, I feel like there's so many younger
women that need our advice and need us to be honest,
(34:08):
because how else are we gonna help them or stop
them from getting into a situation that we've been in
that we weren't happy with.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Mama. I'm just doing to heal myself, like I props
to the younger generation. But I'm just like, woof, I
can't take it anymore. I couldn't take it. Everyone was
creating so much drama and the wrong drama. And I,
you know, I've been schooled in the thought, you know,
(34:41):
from the nineties, like you don't comment, you don't do that.
I was finally like, I can't. Yeah, I have to
tell my story because it's my truth, sooner than later.
I don't want to do it later, like, I just
want to get it out there.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
And what you said is correct. They'll create it if
you don't tell it, they will. You're not going to
be alone. I just know that.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Okay, call your marriage counsel, like after this, okay, okay,
I'm not kidding.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Is it a boy or girl? Well, the one we're
using now is not the one that set us.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Up as a different I want the one to set
you up.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
I'll call him and I'll be like, who has divorced
recently and who would like to date Tory spelling. Oh
my god, that's what I'm gonna.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Do, Sarah as because I don't want to be alone.
You are lonely, by the way, I'm not. Everyone's like, oh,
you're just so scared of being alone, Like, no, I'm
never alone. I have five kids, right, I'm never alone.
It's not that I just want to partner. I want
(35:50):
absolutely like someone that gets you want a person, you
need a physical thing. I want someone that gets my
brain because my brain it's pretty big.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Yeah, no one.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Has ever seen it. And I swear I'm like.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Cool, why don't you go on that famous person dating site? Oh? Riah,
I don't know. I never.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Ry. So it's wild because you know, I've been married
eighteen years.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
There were no dating apps, right, So.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
I would go through with my friends and then I'd
be like, that's funny. And now I'm like, oh, is.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
That going to be me?
Speaker 1 (36:41):
And my kids are mortified. They hear that because I
tell everything to my kids and they're like, yeah, you
can't be on a dating app. And I'm like, how
am I going to meet someone? And then I go,
I'm going to be the old cat. I have one cat.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
I'm going to be the old cat lady. No, I'm
just I swear I have a I have a good
intuition about things. And you're not going to be alone.
You're not going to be alone for very much longer.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Really, Yeah, wait, what's his name and what's his sign?
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Well, I don't know signs, but I'm an Aquarius. I'm
just gonna go ahead and say Aquarius and February what
February fifth?
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (37:24):
Yeah? Yeah, but how old is your youngest child?
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Seven?
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Okay, you need to wait a little bit. I can't
just a little bit. Oh, just a little bit.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
See, you've been through this in between sorry j ear muffs,
Like in between things when people are like, just work
on yourself, just be alone.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
Yeah, go fuck yourself. It's hard because you want to
say you be alone, bitch.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
I hate when people say that. Yeah, it's terrible.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
You just need and.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Like, okay, do you sear all the people they're married
and happy and I'm like in relationships. Yeah, Like, don't
tell me to be alone and get to know yourself.
I don't fucking want to get to know myself.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Well, you do know yourself. I know myself exactly. Yeah.
And you're I want to say too, you're a tremendous mother.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
Since I was fifteen, so you know what, I know myself.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
You're a tremendous I want to make sure you hear
me say that you are a.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Sarah Evans.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
You are are you? Are you bad at taking compliments?
Speaker 1 (38:31):
Really bad? You're a superstar? Are you good at taking compliments? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (38:36):
I like them?
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Really?
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Uh huh wait, I like taking it?
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Well, give me wisdom, I mean, how do you do it?
Speaker 2 (38:45):
Probably because I didn't get a lot of compliments growing up.
And I don't mean that bad in any way, shape
or form about my mom or my dad. But I'm
from the Midwest where farmers. We're very stoic, non emotional,
and so I don't know if the word is compliments,
but I do love validation. I crave validation. Yeah, I
(39:09):
get that.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
So on my bucket list, which I was married for
eighteen years, never thought it would happen, was like, I
never dated a musician?
Speaker 2 (39:20):
Do that? Who? What about Kenny Chesney? A single?
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Oh Kenny Chestney? Really?
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Well? Is he still cute? He's cute. Kenny and I
are friends and.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
I know he resorts to you reason. Yeah, job. I
was going to bring it up later.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
But am I supposed to do that my podcast? Yeah,
I'm going to think of somebody. I'm going to think
of somebody for you, Okay, I'm going to find a musician.
That's my dream. Musicians are the great people. Because she's you, well,
(39:59):
Kenny Chestney will we'll cheat on you most likely, but
he's ready fook us up immediately.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
I'm all in. I'm just kidding, talking you tonight to
get his fucking DM.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
I'm kidding, Kenny. I love you. This has been incredible.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Really, Oh my god, I love you.
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