March 18, 2025 • 23 mins
Have you ever had one of those days where things just don’t seem to click?
Maybe you spill your tea, miss a deadline, or wake up feeling off. It can feel like nothing’s going right, but sometimes, small adjustments can make a big difference.
In this episode of A Really Good Cry, we’re exploring simple ways to reset when things aren’t going as planned. From mindset shifts to calming rituals, I’ll share practical tips to help you find more ease and energy throughout your day—no matter how it started. Even in the chaos, there’s always space for small moments of peace.
What We Discuss:
00:00 Introduction
02:13 Plan your day
04:42 Choose 3 things that will make you feel better
06:51 Make yourself something
07:52 Try one thing that stimulates your senses
10:41 Build a good evening routine
14:12 Try to complete something
16:07 Eat foods that make you feel good about yourself
17:54 Track your small wins
18:58 Don’t rush and focus on one thing at a time
20:40 Do something for someone else
21:47 Inspirational quotes to make your day better
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Sometimes it's not that you've had a bad day. You've
just had bad moments and you've not been present for
the good ones. Sometimes we will have more crappy moments
than we would like to win a day. But in
each of those days, I guarantee you there will be
at least at least three things that will also wins.
Even if it's just that I got a part of
bed today and I couldn't do that yesterday. A person
(00:20):
smiled at me and I smiled back. I enjoyed my
toast today with a bit of nut butter and jam.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Yummy.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I took my vitamins. You know, just acknowledging the good things,
even if they are small. Just acknowledging the good things.
I'm Raley Wukiah and on my podcast A Really Good Cry,
we embrace the messy and the beautiful, providing a space
for raw, unfiltered conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow you
to tune in to learn, connect and find comfort together. Hey, everyone,
(00:48):
welcome back to this week's episode of A Really Good Cry.
Thank you so much for listening, and today I wanted
to speak to you all about how you can have
a better day today or tomorrow than you had yesterday,
and that can be for the days that you've had
bad days, or just small things that you can do
to make every single day feel like.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
It's getting better and better.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
And you know, I wanted to do this because sometimes
when we have a bad moment, it turns into a
bad day. When we have a bad day, it can
turn into a bad few days, and then weeks and
then months, and sometimes those things just drag on and
on and on, and it becomes a cycle that we
get into. And look, there are some things that we
just can't control. We get thrown curveballs, there's incidents that
(01:31):
can happen, and we hear news that we weren't expecting.
There are so many things that are unexpected that can
come into our life and that can completely change how
our day goes. But there are also things that we
do have control of, the things that we can do
every single day that are guaranteed to bring a little
bit more happiness, a little bit more joy or feeling
of contentness and calm into our life. And so I
(01:54):
wanted to share those things because I've gone through that
in my life where Okay, I'm like it's just a
bad hour, and then it becomes bad day, and then
it just ends up accumulating. So these are kind of
like the little things that I keep in my toolbox
for when I feel like the day has gone not
how I expected it to. How can I turn tomorrow
around to be a little bit better for myself. So
the first thing I wanted to recommend is to plan. Now,
(02:17):
I really see the benefits of being spontaneous, like, oh,
I just want to not have a routine, and I
don't really want to plan my day tomorrow. I just
want it to be free, and I think there is
something to that. But when you know that you haven't
had a great day and you want to make it better,
you kind of do have to plan because otherwise you
may just get stuck into that feeling and not find
a way to get yourself out. So planning is actually
(02:40):
really important, and I actually find that planning gives more
freedom than spontaneity and leaving it to chance does. There's
this freedom in knowing exactly what is going to happen,
and then the day doesn't control you. You actually have
control of the day, and there is some sort of
empowerment that you get out of that feeling it's like, no, actually,
(03:00):
I do have control of this. And usually if a
day goes wrong or badly, most of the time it's
because unexpected things happen. And so when you create something
expected in your day, it can create a feeling of
routine and safety. And instead of doing just the to
do list, you can decide on how you want to feel.
So decide tomorrow I want to feel calm, or I
(03:21):
want to feel energized, I want to feel focused, I
want to feel joyful. Start your morning or plan the
day before writing out what you want to feel. Because
we can decide on things that we want to do,
but when we set an intention of how we want
to feel, it's at the forefront of our mind and
so everything we do, we're thinking about that feeling we
want to feel, and we're more likely to actually feel it.
(03:42):
So today I choose to feel energized.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
What does that mean.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
I'm going to eat foods that make me feel energized.
I'm going to do activities that make me feel energized.
It's almost like subliminal messages that we're giving to ourselves
by implanting that word into our mind. I use more
vocabulary than just happy, like What is happy actually mean
for you?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Does it mean you want to feel excitement?
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Does it mean you want to feel vibrant or energetic
or focused or clear? You know, I think we're quite
limited in the vocabulary that we know how to use,
and sometimes you don't even know what those words mean.
It's like, when you say you want to feel loved,
what does that sound like? What does that feel like?
What are the actions that make you feel that way?
If you want to feel calm, what does that mean?
(04:20):
How does your body feel? How does your mind feel?
How does your heart feel in those moments? And so
really being clear about what it is that you want
to change and what it is that you want to
feel the next day can be really useful to make
it happen. It's like you think it, you do the
actions that allow you to feel it, and then you've
almost manifested it into your life or created the opportunity
(04:41):
for it to happen. The next thing you can do
is choose three things that you know bring that emotion
to you. And if you don't know, you might think,
oh my gosh, I don't actually know what makes me
happy or I don't know what makes me feel calm.
Or energized, and so I wanted to share some of
my own lists that I know for sure makes me
feel better in some way when add them to my day.
And so the first one is to move your body.
(05:03):
Movement is so important. Movement increases the endorphins in our body,
the happy hormones in our body. I've read this quote
that said, I'm not saying that a walk will kill everything,
but there's not many things that a walk hasn't made better.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
And I really do agree with that.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
There's not much that movement will not make better because
it just creates stimulation in our body.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
It really does so.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Many things for our mind, for our heart, whether it's physically,
mentally or emotionally. I guarantee you some sort of movement
helps to remove stagnation from our body. And usually when
we're feeling a little bit low, there is stagnation or
heaviness that isn't inside of us, and so creating movement
can help them move that around and bring it to
the surface and hopefully let it out of our body.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Another thing is to.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Schedule a call with a friend or maybe it's your
therapist that you haven't spoken to for a while, but
speaking to a friend that you actually like talking to.
And I think that's really important because sometimes we can
have those friends that we use the calling, but we
come away from the call being like, no, what that
really was not helpful. It didn't improve my mood. It
didn't make me feel any better. So think of the people,
have like a list of It can be one person,
(06:11):
three people that you know when I'm feeling this way,
these are the people that make me feel better about myself.
The next thing is put on a feel good playlist
and dance, and that kind of comes back to movement.
But also sound is so powerful to change our mood.
If you think about it. When you listen to a
sad song, it can make you sad. If you listen
to a happy, upbeat song, it can change your mood
and make you feel happy and upbeat. You listen to
(06:31):
a gangst the song in the car, it will make
you drive faster and feel like you can fast and
furious your way to the next traffic light. And so
create your feel good playlist today. Put together a list
of ten songs, three songs how at MANYU one that
you know when you press play, you are going to
start feeling the mood. Shift and change. The next thing
(06:52):
I usually like to do is make myself something. Like today,
I really wasn't feeling that great. I really had an
unexpected allergic reaction and I hadn't had it for a
long time. I used to have asthma, Like ten years
ago was the last time I had to take an
inhaler or was affected by it. And for some reason
I went to something today where they had a cat
(07:12):
and I guess a lot of dust in the house,
and I was so easy. You can probably hear it
in my voice right now when I breathe in. Yeah,
I've got shortness of breath. And I wasn't feeling my best,
and so I was thinking what makes me feel good?
I got home and I said, all I want to
do is make myself a soup at night and making
yourself something on days where you just don't feel your best,
whether it's physically or mentally. It's a self love practice.
(07:35):
And so even if you don't want to make yourself something,
do a self care ritual, a massage, run yourself a bath,
give yourself a facial. It's a beautiful way to tell
your body and your mind that I love you and
I'm looking after you, and I want you to feel better,
and I'm investing in making you feel better. And another
way to do that is by treating your senses. And
(07:56):
what I mean by that is trying one thing that
stimulates each of your senses. So if it's your site,
you could clean up a small space in your house,
you could reorganize something, or you know, buy yourself some flowers,
something that visually stimulates you and makes your eyes happy.
If you're thinking about smell, you could like a candle,
use essential oils like lavender to soothe you.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
I always have diffuses.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
In every room, and whenever I walk past and I
smell a whiff of whatever oil is in there, it
totally shifts my mind and I start to you know,
it's really interesting when you have things around you that
you appreciate, or whether it's in smell or in sight
or in sound, it has the ability to change your mood.
Think about when you walk past a car that's playing
music or a shop that's playing music and it's a
(08:40):
familiar song that brings you that like is nostalgic for you,
it can completely shift you into that memory or a
place that was good. And so I find that really
works for smells, Like if I'm feeling a bit low
and I walk past my diffuser and it's got peppermint
in it, I'm like, oh my gosh, that felt so good,
Like smelled amazing, and automatically your mind's in a positive mindset,
(09:03):
even if it is for that small moment in time.
The next one is taste. So, like I said, make
yourself something. Maybe it's a sweet piece of fruit, like
a juicy peach, or maybe it's a cheeky square of
dark chocolate, stimulating your taste buds in some way with
a flavor that you like, with a comfort food that
you enjoy. For touch, maybe it's giving yourself a hand massage,
(09:26):
maybe it is massaging your feet. You know, our younger
is a practice an arabada and it's self massage with oils,
and it says that a younger is not a luxury.
It is a necessity for health, not just because it
helps the detox to the body, but also because it
is a practice of care.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
That you are giving to your body.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
And actually, when you rub oil on your feet, this
is where your nerves are ending, is at the bottom
of your feet. And so as soon as you rub
oil on the bottom of your feet. It actually helps
to soothe every single nerve traveling through the rest of
your body. And so it's a beautiful practice to help
stimulate your body but also come at the same time.
And then sound we spoke about, you know, play a
song that makes you happy, or listen to nature sounds.
(10:08):
Nature is so soothing to the soul because we are
part of nature. I don't think I know anyone that
will listen to birds chirping, or the sound of waves,
or even the sound of rain tapping on the window
and won't feel a little bit more peace and a
little bit more calm. Also, you have to remember nature
is mother Nature. There's a soothing, feminine aspect to nature
(10:29):
that makes you feel like you are being comforted just
being in the.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Presence of nature.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
So go outside and walk in a wood, or go
walk around more greenery and allow nature to give you
a little hug.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
The next thing number two. So the first one was planning.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
The second one is your evening routine because your day
after is based on your evening before. So let's see,
you've had a bad day, what can you do in
the evening that's going to set you up for the
next morning, because if you have a late night tonight,
tomorrow morning may not go as you plan. And so
start planning the day that you want to have tomorrow today,
(11:04):
and that means getting better sleep. Like start off with thinking,
how can I get better sleep, because you.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Know what, maybe I need a bit more energy for tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I need all the energy I can get to make
tomorrow better. And one way I found that helps with
that is magnesium. You can get magnesium spray, you can
split it on the bottom of your feet, you can
get magnesium oil, you can take some supplements for it,
but magnesium really helps to support your nervous system and
also just calms and relaxes your mind. And so if
(11:32):
your mind's racing and you just want to get a
good night's sleep without the melotonein or taking anything unnatural,
usually our bodies lacking magnesium, and so I recommend trying
to do that regularly. Apparently there's magnesium in dark chocolate too,
And someone told me that their granddad would have a
piece of dark chocolate every single night for the magnesium.
(11:53):
Some might say there's also caffeine in there, so it
may have the opposite.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Effect, but I thought that was a sweet story. At
least that's what he told himself. And you know what,
you don't have to.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Have a crazy shift in your evening routine. Just go
to bed fifteen minutes earlier. I'm not saying have a
three hour evening wind down routine. Go to bed fifteen
minutes earlier. I get yourself fifteen minutes of extra sleep.
And then it's about your environment, like, how are you
going to create a better environment for your sleep? You
know they call it sleep hygiene. What are the things
that you can change around you, whether it's your bed sheets,
(12:24):
whether it's dimming the lights at night. You know, we're
so overstimulated by our phones all day artificial light constantly
in our face that I really try not to put
artificial light on at night. I try to use candles,
or if I do use lights, I'll use lamps that
are a little bit dimmer or dim the lights above.
Absolutely no bright spotlights on you at night and really
(12:45):
messes up your sarcadian rhythm. And also as soon as
the lights are dim, I guarantee you'll start yawning more
and your body will actually start telling you it is tired.
Sometimes these bright lights can end up tricking our body
into believing it's not tired, or it takes it into
a different pattern. Another thing is being mindful about what
you watch. Don't overstimulate yourself. When I watch things that
are scary, my sleep is not great. When I watch
(13:07):
things that have full of suspense or are really weird,
it definitely impacts my sleep. And so be mindful about
the things that you're watching. And do you have the
right temperature in your room. That makes a huge difference.
When it's too hot, I cannot sleep, I cannot stand there.
I'm awake every couple of hours. I'd rather have a
cooler temperature now than a warmer one, because I'd rather
be snugly and wear socks in bed than be woken
(13:27):
up feeling super dehydrated and stuffy. They actually say, I
think it's what sixty nine degrees That is a great
temperature to sleep at. Sometimes I sleep at sixty seven,
but they can get kind of cold. Oh, and having
a bath or a warm shower before bed, Oh my gosh,
so lovely. Having a hot shower, lathering yourself in an oil.
(13:49):
This is my regular lathering yourself an oil and then
putting some warm socks on your cozy pajamas, Oh my gosh,
the best environment to knock you out. And lastly, if
your brain's racing after you've tried all of this, try
a brain dump. Literally, get a pen and paper, write
down every single thought that's going through your mind, whatever
it is, just get it onto paper so it is
(14:11):
out of your mind. Number three so we've had planning,
we've had your evening routine and your sleep hygiene, and
number three is complete something. So plan tomorrow to complete something.
I know it's important to have a long term mindset
and develop positive habits over time, but not everything needs
to take weeks or days or months to complete. We
(14:34):
can have little things that we complete every single day.
And when we complete little things every single day, it
immediately impacts your mood, your confidence, your self worth. And
so it may be as simple as learning something new,
whether you're watching a YouTube video that's educational, whether you're
painting something, whether you're cleaning out your closet. Completing something
in the time you have available, rather than just starting
(14:56):
something and leaving it unfinished, will leave you feeling so
much more satisfied and happy when you're done.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
And so pick something that you know.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I have a couple of hours, I'm going to start
something or that I can finish in the amount of
time that I have, or I'm going to finish off
something that has been on my list for so long,
and that can make you feel so much better about yourself.
And any day when I complete something that I didn't
do the day before, always you know you can just
put a tic next to it. And I also like
(15:24):
a ticking system, like having a to do list, and
when you tick something off, it just makes you feel
so much better. Another part that relates to this is
doing one thing you regret not doing yesterday. A way
to make today good is to learn from the mistakes
that you made yesterday, and so think about what you
wish you had done differently and adjust accordingly. Doing that
will make you feel better about today and wipe out
(15:44):
the negative feeling that you carried over from the previous day.
It's so easy to fall into a cycle of guilt
and regret, and it makes it progressively harder to accomplish
what you actually wanted to do in the first place.
It's a vicious cycle, but one that can be easily
broken if you follow this.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
So think about one.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Thing that you said you were going to finish yesterday
and didn't and finish it today. Don't sit there wallowing
in your guilt. It helps no one. Next up, food.
Food is so important. Food affects our mood so deeply,
and so I recommend eating foods that uplift you and
make you feel lighter, not heavy and the lethargic. Usually
when we have a bad day, what do we reach for?
(16:20):
We're like, oh, I just want some comfort food. And unfortunately,
most of our comfort foods the foods that aren't necessarily
the best for us, not exactly nutrient dense. If you
can try any foods that make you feel good about yourself,
and usually they're the foods that have more vitamins, minerals,
lighter to digest, you know, the healthy stuff that you
know you should be eating but sometimes avoid eating. And
(16:42):
you know, our gut is so linked to our mood
and our mind. You know, eighty percent I think of
the receptors for our mood and our hormones actually live
in our gut. I think I got that right. I'll
double check it. But so much comes from our gut.
Having fermented foods every single day for your gut helps
to promote the healthy bacteria in there, which in turn
(17:03):
helps you to digest food better, which in turn means
you're getting all the nutrients you need for your mood,
your energy, and feeling the best version of yourself. So
I recommend fermented foods for your gut, healthy fats for
your mind, because our brain needs fats. Fats are essential
for brain health. Sixty percent of our brain is made
from fat, so the right kind of fats, like healthy fats,
can really help to support our mind health. And lastly,
(17:25):
slow release carbohydrates for energy levels. So you've got your
fermented foods for your gut, your healthy fats for your mind,
and your slow release carbohydrates for your energy. And that's
anything whole grain. Just don't go for white bread, go
for a bread with seeds in it. Don't go for
a pastry. Maybe have a nice bowl of brown rice
with a curry or something like that. And so try
today or tomorrow if you're trying to have a better
(17:48):
day tomorrow, to add one thing for your gut, your mind,
and your energy levels into the food you're eating. Next up,
we have wind tracking. And what do I mean by that? Look,
sometimes it's not that you've had a bad day, you've
just had bad moments and you've not been present for
the good ones. So yes, sometimes we will have more
crappy moments than we would like to win a day. Well,
maybe there's just this one colossal crappy thing that happens
(18:10):
that consumes our entire day or week. But in each
of those days, I guarantee you there will be at
least at least three things that will also wins, even
if it's just that I got up out of bed
today and I couldn't do that yesterday, Or I showered
this morning and honestly I haven't done that in a
couple of days, and that is a win for me.
Right now, A person smiled at me, and I smiled back.
(18:32):
I enjoyed my toast today with a bit of nut
butter and jam.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Yummy.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
I took my vitamins. You know, just acknowledging the good things,
even if they are small. Just acknowledging the good things,
because it can shift your mind into a different place,
even if it's just for those moments.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
You know, our mind can sometimes be quite.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Negative, and so you notice the bad and you forget
the good, and so instead try and see even the little, little,
tiny things that happen in your day and try to
recognize them and acknowledge them.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Next up, but do not rush. This may sound so silly,
but it is true. Look we do.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
We have enough in our life that brings us anxiety,
and I've started doing this.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I do not drive fast.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
So if you're going somewhere tomorrow, drive below the speed limit,
like allow yourself space and time to not panic, because
I'm telling you, as soon as you start driving faster,
your adrenaline starts pumping, which can really feed into anxiety.
And so drive at the speed limit. People, you're not
going to get there much faster. Listen, you go ten
miles per hour over the speed limit, you'll probably get
their thirty seconds faster.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Ease into your day, do things.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Calmly and slowly, and really shift your anxiety levels and
leave yourself plenty of time to get to places or
do things. Trust me, I am the last person to
be saying this because I will be running to the flight.
I will be I'm the last person to comment on
this because I'm terrible, but I've really tried to get better.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
You know, I'll be.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Running everywhere and like trying to gather all my bits
forget things or rush into my car speed on the
way there. But honestly, it just adds to the feeling
of distress during the day, and so leave yourself plenty
of time to get to places or to do things.
Another way that helps is because if you end up
giving yourself an hour to do a task that you
know will take you two hours, you're never a bit
(20:14):
disappointed in yourself that you didn't get it done, and
so it's better that you give You tell yourself it's
going to take me two hours to do this, and
you do it in one hour, and then you feel
good about it.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Avoid doing one thing at a time. If you're eating,
just eat.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
If you're speaking to someone, just speak to them without
being on your phone or scrolling. If you're on the
loop the toilet, be on the toilet. You don't need
to be doing two things at once. Try and be
more present, focus on one thing at a time, and
the last thing is do something for someone else. Usually
when we feel terrible, the last thing we are thinking
about is someone else. But actually it feels so good
(20:50):
to make other people feel good. And when we're in
a low mindset, usually it's what can I do for myself,
how can I make myself feel better? But really, we
are social beings who crave relationships, and relationships thrive and
deepen through service and caring for others. So whether it's
cooking a meal for someone, or going to volunteer, or
just giving someone a call to ask how they are doing,
(21:10):
it takes us out of our mind and into a
mode of helping and giving, which makes us feel so
much better about our own life and also makes us
feel good, because who doesn't feel good when you do
something nice for someone else.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
It's also such.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
A privilege and a beautiful thing to be able to
help someone. And when you put a smile on someone
else's face or you get to see how you have
impacted another person, it also makes you feel like you've
got a bit more purpose in your day, you know,
when they say this really made my day worthwhile, or
seeing you smile made my whole entire day, And sometimes
it really can feel that way. I've been reading lots
of really good quotes and I want to share them
(21:46):
with you, just in case you want to write them
down or pop them on your wall for the days
where you feel like you need them for a bit
of encouragement. Every day is a chance to start over
and create something beautiful. Do something today that your future
self well thank you for. Don't let yesterday take up
too much of today. I really like that one because
it's like, you can either let yesterday be yesterday, or
(22:08):
we can bring that into the next day and the
next day. So don't let yesterday take up too much
of today. Every sunrise is an invitation to brighten someone's day.
You do not have to be perfect to make today
better than yesterday. That's a great one. Yesterday is a lesson.
Today is your opportunity be the reason today feels better
(22:33):
than yesterday. I'm going to leave you with that one
because I think that is really the conclusion of all
of this.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
That we have the power.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
We have the ability to change and shift how our
day goes. I know the external people and circumstances can
definitely impact it, but how we receive it and how
we respond to it and how we take it in
is completely on us. And so you have the ability
to control your mood through all the things that we
(23:01):
spoke about.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
So please give.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
These a go the next time you've had a bad day,
and I hope that they help you as much as
they help me on the days where I just do
not feel like it is going well. Sending your so
much love, and I hope you have such a wonderful
day today, and if you've already had a bad one,
hopefully tomorrow it will be so much better.
Sometimes it's not that you've had a bad day. You've
just had bad moments and you've not been present for
the good ones. Sometimes we will have more crappy moments
than we would like to win a day. But in
each of those days, I guarantee you there will be
at least at least three things that will also wins.
Even if it's just that I got a part of
bed today and I couldn't do that yesterday. A person
(00:20):
smiled at me and I smiled back. I enjoyed my
toast today with a bit of nut butter and jam.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Yummy.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I took my vitamins. You know, just acknowledging the good things,
even if they are small. Just acknowledging the good things.
I'm Raley Wukiah and on my podcast A Really Good Cry,
we embrace the messy and the beautiful, providing a space
for raw, unfiltered conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow you
to tune in to learn, connect and find comfort together. Hey, everyone,
(00:48):
welcome back to this week's episode of A Really Good Cry.
Thank you so much for listening, and today I wanted
to speak to you all about how you can have
a better day today or tomorrow than you had yesterday,
and that can be for the days that you've had
bad days, or just small things that you can do
to make every single day feel like.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
It's getting better and better.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
And you know, I wanted to do this because sometimes
when we have a bad moment, it turns into a
bad day. When we have a bad day, it can
turn into a bad few days, and then weeks and
then months, and sometimes those things just drag on and
on and on, and it becomes a cycle that we
get into. And look, there are some things that we
just can't control. We get thrown curveballs, there's incidents that
(01:31):
can happen, and we hear news that we weren't expecting.
There are so many things that are unexpected that can
come into our life and that can completely change how
our day goes. But there are also things that we
do have control of, the things that we can do
every single day that are guaranteed to bring a little
bit more happiness, a little bit more joy or feeling
of contentness and calm into our life. And so I
(01:54):
wanted to share those things because I've gone through that
in my life where Okay, I'm like it's just a
bad hour, and then it becomes bad day, and then
it just ends up accumulating. So these are kind of
like the little things that I keep in my toolbox
for when I feel like the day has gone not
how I expected it to. How can I turn tomorrow
around to be a little bit better for myself. So
the first thing I wanted to recommend is to plan. Now,
(02:17):
I really see the benefits of being spontaneous, like, oh,
I just want to not have a routine, and I
don't really want to plan my day tomorrow. I just
want it to be free, and I think there is
something to that. But when you know that you haven't
had a great day and you want to make it better,
you kind of do have to plan because otherwise you
may just get stuck into that feeling and not find
a way to get yourself out. So planning is actually
(02:40):
really important, and I actually find that planning gives more
freedom than spontaneity and leaving it to chance does. There's
this freedom in knowing exactly what is going to happen,
and then the day doesn't control you. You actually have
control of the day, and there is some sort of
empowerment that you get out of that feeling it's like, no, actually,
(03:00):
I do have control of this. And usually if a
day goes wrong or badly, most of the time it's
because unexpected things happen. And so when you create something
expected in your day, it can create a feeling of
routine and safety. And instead of doing just the to
do list, you can decide on how you want to feel.
So decide tomorrow I want to feel calm, or I
(03:21):
want to feel energized, I want to feel focused, I
want to feel joyful. Start your morning or plan the
day before writing out what you want to feel. Because
we can decide on things that we want to do,
but when we set an intention of how we want
to feel, it's at the forefront of our mind and
so everything we do, we're thinking about that feeling we
want to feel, and we're more likely to actually feel it.
(03:42):
So today I choose to feel energized.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
What does that mean.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
I'm going to eat foods that make me feel energized.
I'm going to do activities that make me feel energized.
It's almost like subliminal messages that we're giving to ourselves
by implanting that word into our mind. I use more
vocabulary than just happy, like What is happy actually mean
for you?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Does it mean you want to feel excitement?
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Does it mean you want to feel vibrant or energetic
or focused or clear? You know, I think we're quite
limited in the vocabulary that we know how to use,
and sometimes you don't even know what those words mean.
It's like, when you say you want to feel loved,
what does that sound like? What does that feel like?
What are the actions that make you feel that way?
If you want to feel calm, what does that mean?
(04:20):
How does your body feel? How does your mind feel?
How does your heart feel in those moments? And so
really being clear about what it is that you want
to change and what it is that you want to
feel the next day can be really useful to make
it happen. It's like you think it, you do the
actions that allow you to feel it, and then you've
almost manifested it into your life or created the opportunity
(04:41):
for it to happen. The next thing you can do
is choose three things that you know bring that emotion
to you. And if you don't know, you might think,
oh my gosh, I don't actually know what makes me
happy or I don't know what makes me feel calm.
Or energized, and so I wanted to share some of
my own lists that I know for sure makes me
feel better in some way when add them to my day.
And so the first one is to move your body.
(05:03):
Movement is so important. Movement increases the endorphins in our body,
the happy hormones in our body. I've read this quote
that said, I'm not saying that a walk will kill everything,
but there's not many things that a walk hasn't made better.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
And I really do agree with that.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
There's not much that movement will not make better because
it just creates stimulation in our body.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
It really does so.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Many things for our mind, for our heart, whether it's physically,
mentally or emotionally. I guarantee you some sort of movement
helps to remove stagnation from our body. And usually when
we're feeling a little bit low, there is stagnation or
heaviness that isn't inside of us, and so creating movement
can help them move that around and bring it to
the surface and hopefully let it out of our body.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Another thing is to.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Schedule a call with a friend or maybe it's your
therapist that you haven't spoken to for a while, but
speaking to a friend that you actually like talking to.
And I think that's really important because sometimes we can
have those friends that we use the calling, but we
come away from the call being like, no, what that
really was not helpful. It didn't improve my mood. It
didn't make me feel any better. So think of the people,
have like a list of It can be one person,
(06:11):
three people that you know when I'm feeling this way,
these are the people that make me feel better about myself.
The next thing is put on a feel good playlist
and dance, and that kind of comes back to movement.
But also sound is so powerful to change our mood.
If you think about it. When you listen to a
sad song, it can make you sad. If you listen
to a happy, upbeat song, it can change your mood
and make you feel happy and upbeat. You listen to
(06:31):
a gangst the song in the car, it will make
you drive faster and feel like you can fast and
furious your way to the next traffic light. And so
create your feel good playlist today. Put together a list
of ten songs, three songs how at MANYU one that
you know when you press play, you are going to
start feeling the mood. Shift and change. The next thing
(06:52):
I usually like to do is make myself something. Like today,
I really wasn't feeling that great. I really had an
unexpected allergic reaction and I hadn't had it for a
long time. I used to have asthma, Like ten years
ago was the last time I had to take an
inhaler or was affected by it. And for some reason
I went to something today where they had a cat
(07:12):
and I guess a lot of dust in the house,
and I was so easy. You can probably hear it
in my voice right now when I breathe in. Yeah,
I've got shortness of breath. And I wasn't feeling my best,
and so I was thinking what makes me feel good?
I got home and I said, all I want to
do is make myself a soup at night and making
yourself something on days where you just don't feel your best,
whether it's physically or mentally. It's a self love practice.
(07:35):
And so even if you don't want to make yourself something,
do a self care ritual, a massage, run yourself a bath,
give yourself a facial. It's a beautiful way to tell
your body and your mind that I love you and
I'm looking after you, and I want you to feel better,
and I'm investing in making you feel better. And another
way to do that is by treating your senses. And
(07:56):
what I mean by that is trying one thing that
stimulates each of your senses. So if it's your site,
you could clean up a small space in your house,
you could reorganize something, or you know, buy yourself some flowers,
something that visually stimulates you and makes your eyes happy.
If you're thinking about smell, you could like a candle,
use essential oils like lavender to soothe you.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
I always have diffuses.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
In every room, and whenever I walk past and I
smell a whiff of whatever oil is in there, it
totally shifts my mind and I start to you know,
it's really interesting when you have things around you that
you appreciate, or whether it's in smell or in sight
or in sound, it has the ability to change your mood.
Think about when you walk past a car that's playing
music or a shop that's playing music and it's a
(08:40):
familiar song that brings you that like is nostalgic for you,
it can completely shift you into that memory or a
place that was good. And so I find that really
works for smells, Like if I'm feeling a bit low
and I walk past my diffuser and it's got peppermint
in it, I'm like, oh my gosh, that felt so good,
Like smelled amazing, and automatically your mind's in a positive mindset,
(09:03):
even if it is for that small moment in time.
The next one is taste. So, like I said, make
yourself something. Maybe it's a sweet piece of fruit, like
a juicy peach, or maybe it's a cheeky square of
dark chocolate, stimulating your taste buds in some way with
a flavor that you like, with a comfort food that
you enjoy. For touch, maybe it's giving yourself a hand massage,
(09:26):
maybe it is massaging your feet. You know, our younger
is a practice an arabada and it's self massage with oils,
and it says that a younger is not a luxury.
It is a necessity for health, not just because it
helps the detox to the body, but also because it
is a practice of care.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
That you are giving to your body.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
And actually, when you rub oil on your feet, this
is where your nerves are ending, is at the bottom
of your feet. And so as soon as you rub
oil on the bottom of your feet. It actually helps
to soothe every single nerve traveling through the rest of
your body. And so it's a beautiful practice to help
stimulate your body but also come at the same time.
And then sound we spoke about, you know, play a
song that makes you happy, or listen to nature sounds.
(10:08):
Nature is so soothing to the soul because we are
part of nature. I don't think I know anyone that
will listen to birds chirping, or the sound of waves,
or even the sound of rain tapping on the window
and won't feel a little bit more peace and a
little bit more calm. Also, you have to remember nature
is mother Nature. There's a soothing, feminine aspect to nature
(10:29):
that makes you feel like you are being comforted just
being in the.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Presence of nature.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
So go outside and walk in a wood, or go
walk around more greenery and allow nature to give you
a little hug.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
The next thing number two. So the first one was planning.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
The second one is your evening routine because your day
after is based on your evening before. So let's see,
you've had a bad day, what can you do in
the evening that's going to set you up for the
next morning, because if you have a late night tonight,
tomorrow morning may not go as you plan. And so
start planning the day that you want to have tomorrow today,
(11:04):
and that means getting better sleep. Like start off with thinking,
how can I get better sleep, because you.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Know what, maybe I need a bit more energy for tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I need all the energy I can get to make
tomorrow better. And one way I found that helps with
that is magnesium. You can get magnesium spray, you can
split it on the bottom of your feet, you can
get magnesium oil, you can take some supplements for it,
but magnesium really helps to support your nervous system and
also just calms and relaxes your mind. And so if
(11:32):
your mind's racing and you just want to get a
good night's sleep without the melotonein or taking anything unnatural,
usually our bodies lacking magnesium, and so I recommend trying
to do that regularly. Apparently there's magnesium in dark chocolate too,
And someone told me that their granddad would have a
piece of dark chocolate every single night for the magnesium.
(11:53):
Some might say there's also caffeine in there, so it
may have the opposite.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Effect, but I thought that was a sweet story. At
least that's what he told himself. And you know what,
you don't have to.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Have a crazy shift in your evening routine. Just go
to bed fifteen minutes earlier. I'm not saying have a
three hour evening wind down routine. Go to bed fifteen
minutes earlier. I get yourself fifteen minutes of extra sleep.
And then it's about your environment, like, how are you
going to create a better environment for your sleep? You
know they call it sleep hygiene. What are the things
that you can change around you, whether it's your bed sheets,
(12:24):
whether it's dimming the lights at night. You know, we're
so overstimulated by our phones all day artificial light constantly
in our face that I really try not to put
artificial light on at night. I try to use candles,
or if I do use lights, I'll use lamps that
are a little bit dimmer or dim the lights above.
Absolutely no bright spotlights on you at night and really
(12:45):
messes up your sarcadian rhythm. And also as soon as
the lights are dim, I guarantee you'll start yawning more
and your body will actually start telling you it is tired.
Sometimes these bright lights can end up tricking our body
into believing it's not tired, or it takes it into
a different pattern. Another thing is being mindful about what
you watch. Don't overstimulate yourself. When I watch things that
are scary, my sleep is not great. When I watch
(13:07):
things that have full of suspense or are really weird,
it definitely impacts my sleep. And so be mindful about
the things that you're watching. And do you have the
right temperature in your room. That makes a huge difference.
When it's too hot, I cannot sleep, I cannot stand there.
I'm awake every couple of hours. I'd rather have a
cooler temperature now than a warmer one, because I'd rather
be snugly and wear socks in bed than be woken
(13:27):
up feeling super dehydrated and stuffy. They actually say, I
think it's what sixty nine degrees That is a great
temperature to sleep at. Sometimes I sleep at sixty seven,
but they can get kind of cold. Oh, and having
a bath or a warm shower before bed, Oh my gosh,
so lovely. Having a hot shower, lathering yourself in an oil.
(13:49):
This is my regular lathering yourself an oil and then
putting some warm socks on your cozy pajamas, Oh my gosh,
the best environment to knock you out. And lastly, if
your brain's racing after you've tried all of this, try
a brain dump. Literally, get a pen and paper, write
down every single thought that's going through your mind, whatever
it is, just get it onto paper so it is
(14:11):
out of your mind. Number three so we've had planning,
we've had your evening routine and your sleep hygiene, and
number three is complete something. So plan tomorrow to complete something.
I know it's important to have a long term mindset
and develop positive habits over time, but not everything needs
to take weeks or days or months to complete. We
(14:34):
can have little things that we complete every single day.
And when we complete little things every single day, it
immediately impacts your mood, your confidence, your self worth. And
so it may be as simple as learning something new,
whether you're watching a YouTube video that's educational, whether you're
painting something, whether you're cleaning out your closet. Completing something
in the time you have available, rather than just starting
(14:56):
something and leaving it unfinished, will leave you feeling so
much more satisfied and happy when you're done.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
And so pick something that you know.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I have a couple of hours, I'm going to start
something or that I can finish in the amount of
time that I have, or I'm going to finish off
something that has been on my list for so long,
and that can make you feel so much better about yourself.
And any day when I complete something that I didn't
do the day before, always you know you can just
put a tic next to it. And I also like
(15:24):
a ticking system, like having a to do list, and
when you tick something off, it just makes you feel
so much better. Another part that relates to this is
doing one thing you regret not doing yesterday. A way
to make today good is to learn from the mistakes
that you made yesterday, and so think about what you
wish you had done differently and adjust accordingly. Doing that
will make you feel better about today and wipe out
(15:44):
the negative feeling that you carried over from the previous day.
It's so easy to fall into a cycle of guilt
and regret, and it makes it progressively harder to accomplish
what you actually wanted to do in the first place.
It's a vicious cycle, but one that can be easily
broken if you follow this.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
So think about one.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Thing that you said you were going to finish yesterday
and didn't and finish it today. Don't sit there wallowing
in your guilt. It helps no one. Next up, food.
Food is so important. Food affects our mood so deeply,
and so I recommend eating foods that uplift you and
make you feel lighter, not heavy and the lethargic. Usually
when we have a bad day, what do we reach for?
(16:20):
We're like, oh, I just want some comfort food. And unfortunately,
most of our comfort foods the foods that aren't necessarily
the best for us, not exactly nutrient dense. If you
can try any foods that make you feel good about yourself,
and usually they're the foods that have more vitamins, minerals,
lighter to digest, you know, the healthy stuff that you
know you should be eating but sometimes avoid eating. And
(16:42):
you know, our gut is so linked to our mood
and our mind. You know, eighty percent I think of
the receptors for our mood and our hormones actually live
in our gut. I think I got that right. I'll
double check it. But so much comes from our gut.
Having fermented foods every single day for your gut helps
to promote the healthy bacteria in there, which in turn
(17:03):
helps you to digest food better, which in turn means
you're getting all the nutrients you need for your mood,
your energy, and feeling the best version of yourself. So
I recommend fermented foods for your gut, healthy fats for
your mind, because our brain needs fats. Fats are essential
for brain health. Sixty percent of our brain is made
from fat, so the right kind of fats, like healthy fats,
can really help to support our mind health. And lastly,
(17:25):
slow release carbohydrates for energy levels. So you've got your
fermented foods for your gut, your healthy fats for your mind,
and your slow release carbohydrates for your energy. And that's
anything whole grain. Just don't go for white bread, go
for a bread with seeds in it. Don't go for
a pastry. Maybe have a nice bowl of brown rice
with a curry or something like that. And so try
today or tomorrow if you're trying to have a better
(17:48):
day tomorrow, to add one thing for your gut, your mind,
and your energy levels into the food you're eating. Next up,
we have wind tracking. And what do I mean by that? Look,
sometimes it's not that you've had a bad day, you've
just had bad moments and you've not been present for
the good ones. So yes, sometimes we will have more
crappy moments than we would like to win a day. Well,
maybe there's just this one colossal crappy thing that happens
(18:10):
that consumes our entire day or week. But in each
of those days, I guarantee you there will be at
least at least three things that will also wins, even
if it's just that I got up out of bed
today and I couldn't do that yesterday, Or I showered
this morning and honestly I haven't done that in a
couple of days, and that is a win for me.
Right now, A person smiled at me, and I smiled back.
(18:32):
I enjoyed my toast today with a bit of nut
butter and jam.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Yummy.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
I took my vitamins. You know, just acknowledging the good things,
even if they are small. Just acknowledging the good things,
because it can shift your mind into a different place,
even if it's just for those moments.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
You know, our mind can sometimes be quite.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Negative, and so you notice the bad and you forget
the good, and so instead try and see even the little, little,
tiny things that happen in your day and try to
recognize them and acknowledge them.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Next up, but do not rush. This may sound so silly,
but it is true. Look we do.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
We have enough in our life that brings us anxiety,
and I've started doing this.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I do not drive fast.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
So if you're going somewhere tomorrow, drive below the speed limit,
like allow yourself space and time to not panic, because
I'm telling you, as soon as you start driving faster,
your adrenaline starts pumping, which can really feed into anxiety.
And so drive at the speed limit. People, you're not
going to get there much faster. Listen, you go ten
miles per hour over the speed limit, you'll probably get
their thirty seconds faster.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Ease into your day, do things.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Calmly and slowly, and really shift your anxiety levels and
leave yourself plenty of time to get to places or
do things. Trust me, I am the last person to
be saying this because I will be running to the flight.
I will be I'm the last person to comment on
this because I'm terrible, but I've really tried to get better.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
You know, I'll be.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Running everywhere and like trying to gather all my bits
forget things or rush into my car speed on the
way there. But honestly, it just adds to the feeling
of distress during the day, and so leave yourself plenty
of time to get to places or to do things.
Another way that helps is because if you end up
giving yourself an hour to do a task that you
know will take you two hours, you're never a bit
(20:14):
disappointed in yourself that you didn't get it done, and
so it's better that you give You tell yourself it's
going to take me two hours to do this, and
you do it in one hour, and then you feel
good about it.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Avoid doing one thing at a time. If you're eating,
just eat.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
If you're speaking to someone, just speak to them without
being on your phone or scrolling. If you're on the
loop the toilet, be on the toilet. You don't need
to be doing two things at once. Try and be
more present, focus on one thing at a time, and
the last thing is do something for someone else. Usually
when we feel terrible, the last thing we are thinking
about is someone else. But actually it feels so good
(20:50):
to make other people feel good. And when we're in
a low mindset, usually it's what can I do for myself,
how can I make myself feel better? But really, we
are social beings who crave relationships, and relationships thrive and
deepen through service and caring for others. So whether it's
cooking a meal for someone, or going to volunteer, or
just giving someone a call to ask how they are doing,
(21:10):
it takes us out of our mind and into a
mode of helping and giving, which makes us feel so
much better about our own life and also makes us
feel good, because who doesn't feel good when you do
something nice for someone else.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
It's also such.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
A privilege and a beautiful thing to be able to
help someone. And when you put a smile on someone
else's face or you get to see how you have
impacted another person, it also makes you feel like you've
got a bit more purpose in your day, you know,
when they say this really made my day worthwhile, or
seeing you smile made my whole entire day, And sometimes
it really can feel that way. I've been reading lots
of really good quotes and I want to share them
(21:46):
with you, just in case you want to write them
down or pop them on your wall for the days
where you feel like you need them for a bit
of encouragement. Every day is a chance to start over
and create something beautiful. Do something today that your future
self well thank you for. Don't let yesterday take up
too much of today. I really like that one because
it's like, you can either let yesterday be yesterday, or
(22:08):
we can bring that into the next day and the
next day. So don't let yesterday take up too much
of today. Every sunrise is an invitation to brighten someone's day.
You do not have to be perfect to make today
better than yesterday. That's a great one. Yesterday is a lesson.
Today is your opportunity be the reason today feels better
(22:33):
than yesterday. I'm going to leave you with that one
because I think that is really the conclusion of all
of this.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
That we have the power.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
We have the ability to change and shift how our
day goes. I know the external people and circumstances can
definitely impact it, but how we receive it and how
we respond to it and how we take it in
is completely on us. And so you have the ability
to control your mood through all the things that we
(23:01):
spoke about.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
So please give.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
These a go the next time you've had a bad day,
and I hope that they help you as much as
they help me on the days where I just do
not feel like it is going well. Sending your so
much love, and I hope you have such a wonderful
day today, and if you've already had a bad one,
hopefully tomorrow it will be so much better.
Host
Radhi Devlukia
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