September 16, 2025 • 23 mins
Do you keep telling yourself “next year will be different”?
Are you tired of ending December feeling like you let yourself down?
What if the thing you’re avoiding—discipline—is actually the key to your freedom?
In this tough-loving episode of A Really Good Cry, Radhi Devlukia challenges us to stop waiting for the new year and start now. She breaks down why self-disappointment is the hardest pill to swallow, why discipline—not motivation—is what actually creates change, and how a simple plan can carry you through messy emotions and resistance.
Radhi shares practical tools for the last 10–13 weeks of the year: how to go all in on your goals, design a plan that removes excuses, and hold yourself accountable daily. She also offers hard truths—motivation is useless without action, your comfort zone is keeping you stuck, and you can have excuses or results, but not both.
This episode is not about doing more—it’s about doing what matters with consistency, so you can end the year proud, not regretful.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why discipline creates freedom instead of restriction
- How to plan your days and weeks to beat procrastination
- Why consistency feels hard at first but becomes your new normal
- How to tip the scales and go all-in without FOMO
- Five key questions to keep you on track every day
- Why action comes before motivation—not the other way around
If you’ve been putting off your goals or waiting for the “perfect” time, this episode is your wake-up call to stop delaying and start showing up—for yourself.
Follow Radhi:
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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxWe9A4kMf9V_AHOXkGhCzQ
https://www.facebook.com/radhidevlukia1/
https://www.tiktok.com/@radhidevlukia
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You do not need more time, You need more discipline.
You already waste hours every single week. Do not tell
me you don't have enough time. When you're trying to
break old patterns and build new ones. This plan will
be your saving grace. It will be your structure when
your emotions are messy. It will give you direction when
your mind is chaotic, and it takes the decision making
(00:20):
out of the moment, and it saves you from yourself,
or I should say it saves your higher self from
your lower self. I'm RATHERI Wukiah and on my podcast
A Really Good Cry, we embrace the messy and the beautiful,
providing a space for raw, unfiltered conversations that celebrate vulnerability
and allow you to tune in to learn, connect and
find comfort together. Hey everyone, and welcome back to this
(00:43):
week's episode of A Really Good Cry. Thank you so
much for being here, Thank you for listening. I hope
you've all had such a lovely week. But listen, we
have maybe thirteen weeks left until Christmas. I know that
sounds wild, bizarre, insane, whatever the word is. It's crazy.
The fact that we may have only about thirteen weeks,
(01:04):
depending on when you're listening to this away from Christmas,
and if I'm honest, I'm reminding you of this because
I do not want you to be ending this year
full of regret, full of I'm going to do better
next year, because honestly, that is the worst kind of disappointment.
It's when you let yourself down and why leave to
next year what you can do this year when you
(01:26):
still have time to do it right now. I am
not going to let you do that because I've done
it before. I've been there, I've been disappointed with myself
at the end of the year. I've got to the
end of the year thinking God, I really did have
the time to do that, Why didn't I do it?
I really wish I had done this. I really wish
I'd put my time and invested my energy into doing
(01:47):
this thing. I do not want you to go through that,
And I know if you're part of this community, you
don't want to be in that place either. But sometimes
we just need a little bit of loving, sometimes tough love,
in encouragement from others around us, people who have the
same desire, people who have the same motivations, people who
have been there before and don't want you to make
(02:08):
that same mistake that they did today. My friends, I'm
going to be that person for you because I think
when we get to a place where we're disappointed with ourselves,
it's harder than any other kind of disappointment and it's
something that's really difficult to work through in process. So
how about we just don't get there, avoid it as
much as possible, disappointing ourselves, and that means putting in
(02:32):
some work. It's not going to be easy. I'm letting
you know right now that this conversation that we're about
to have is not going to be easy, but it
is absolutely necessary because I'd rather you dislike what I'm
saying now, but love yourself at the end of the year.
We did not start this year with optimism to end
it with disappointment. Absolutely not. It's not a cycle that
(02:54):
we're repeating, and I never want you to feel that again.
I really want you to look back at this year
and feel proud, like actually proud of yourself, accomplished and
satisfied that you kept the promises that you made to yourself.
But the reality is that you do not get there
without sacrifice, without commitment, and without consistency. So before you
(03:14):
keep listening, I want you to check yourself really quickly.
Are you actually ready for that? Because this isn't about
listening to a motivational pep talk and then doing absolutely nothing. No,
if that's what you're here for, tear me off right now.
This is honestly about deciding that the next ten weeks,
(03:34):
twelve weeks, thirteen weeks are going to absolutely count. Every
single day, every single week is going to count towards
you feeling fabulous about yourself at the end of the year.
This episode was actually fueled by conversations that I've been
having with some friends that have really been struggling to
commit to what it takes to become who they want
(03:55):
to be. And it's so hard as a friend seeing
someone that you love so much feeling disappointed in themselves
not committing to what they need to do to make
themselves into the person they want to be. As a friend,
I will tell you, I don't know which side of
it you're on listening to this, but it is so
hard watching you, and I can only imagine how hard
(04:17):
it is for you if it's this hard watching But
it's time to get rid of the excuses. Whether it's time,
whether it's skills, whether it's finding the right moment. I'm sorry,
but the fact that you want to do this should
be the only thing in your mind and nothing can
stop you if it's something you truly want to do.
I'm going to tell you a story about my friend. Now.
(04:39):
There was a bank holiday in London recently. If anybody listening,
is just the day that you get off. My friend
has really been struggling to get the things done that
he wants to do, to achieve the things he needs
to to get where he wants to be. But on
that day he decided to take the bank holiday Monday off.
So I said to him, with love and a little
bit of aggression, how on earth are you taking this
(05:00):
bank holiday Monday off when you don't even work Monday
to Friday in the first place. What are you taking
time off from? Are you taking time off from your
time off? Because the fact is you need to be living, breathing,
suffocating yourself with your dreams right now. And I'm so
sorry if that sounds harsh, but it is the reality
of it. And I can tell you something. It really
(05:22):
doesn't feel like a sacrifice if you know it's getting
you the life that you've been craving and desiring. It's
actually just redirection, redirecting your energy, narrowing your attention and focus,
and becoming a little bit invisible in life. Because I
promise you, when you look back in ten weeks time,
the regret won't be that you missed out on that
one party, or you said noted that one plan, or
(05:46):
you didn't go to your uncle's fifty fourth birthday, or
you missed out on going to carnival with your friends,
whatever it is, I guarantee you that regret will never
be as much as the regret you feel for not
backing yourself when it actually mattered, for not showing up
for yourself when it actually mattered, for not proving to
(06:08):
yourself that you can do what you've been saying you
want to do for this whole year. We really live
in this culture that glorifies balance. But sometimes balance is
not what you need short term. Sometimes what you need
is to tip the scales all the way to one
side and pour every ounce of energy into proving to
yourself that you can do the things that you have
(06:28):
been dreaming about. Look, some people might call that toxic.
Some people might say, no, that's just pushing yourself too hard.
But you have to make a choice for yourself, and
it might be that you'd rather prefer the comfort of
this life that you're living and feeling disappointed over pushing
yourself to a point that feels uncomfortable. And that's a
(06:49):
choice that you have to make. But if you're listening
to this thinking, you know, well, actually, I'm tired of
this life. I'm tired of saying I'm going to do
things and not doing them. Mom. I want to be
something better. So by the end of this year, then
that sacrifice is going to be necessary, and that driver
is going to be necessary, and that disappearing is going
to be necessary. And there's no no mo. There's no mo. Fomo.
(07:12):
There should be no more fomo. Guys. Fomo is in
your mind. It's not reality. When you're missing out on
things for a good reason, for a good purpose, you
shouldn't have any fear of missing out. You shouldn't have
any fear of losing friends. You should have a fear
of being misunderstood. And the reason of why you're doing this.
If you are steadfast in what you believe in and
(07:34):
why you're doing something, let all of that go. It's
a short period that you have to do this for
to get where you want to be, and everybody will
understand trust me, and if they don't, might be better
off without them, to be quite honest. So I'm here
asking you what would actually happen for the next ten
weeks if you went all in, not dabbling, not i'll try,
(07:54):
not dipping your toes in and out, but fully submerged,
head underwater, breathing it and living it. Take a second
to think about what that would feel like. What does
that look like. How do you envision your life being
in these ten weeks. What are the emotions you'll feel,
What are the changes you'd have to make in your
day to day life. How will your morning look different,
(08:16):
How will your afternoon look different? How will your evening
look different? How will your weekends look in these ten weeks?
Take a second to visualize that, but more importantly, take
a second to think about how you will feel in
those moments, in that morning, in that afternoon, in that evening,
when you've written your to do list and you actually
completed it by the end of the day, when you're
(08:38):
doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable but you know
it's for a reason. How what are the feelings you
want to feel, and what are the feelings you're worried
about feeling. The best thing to do is living things
out in your mind before you do them, because when
it actually happens, your body and your mind will feel
a little bit more at ease. It doesn't feel like
the first time you're doing it. It might feel like
the second time, so you might not be fully comfortable
(08:59):
with it, but it will definitely feel a little bit
more comfortable. And listen, none of this should be scaring you,
and none of this should be making you feel guilty
about how you've lived the last six months or seven
months of your life at all. That's not what this
is about. I'm saying it because you deserve to see
what it feels like when you do not abandon yourself,
when you finally keep promises to yourself, when you end
(09:19):
this year, and you can look at yourself in the mirror,
in the eye and say, I did not let myself down,
because I know how that feels. Been there and I've
done it for years on end, and I'm telling you
it does not feel good. And I definitely did not
regret saying no to the parties when I ended the
year saying I bloody did it and I did it right. Okay,
(09:41):
but what you will need in these weeks is consistency
and commitment. And now, consistency and commitment feels absolutely disgusting
at first. It is not fun. It will make you
feel like there's a lot of pressure. You may even
feel it physically, like you've got a weight on your heart,
because when you're not used to consistency and commitment and
you commit to things during the day, you add things
(10:03):
to your to do list, Yes, it feels like a wait.
It may even make you feel really anxious because you
are just not used to the schedule, or you're scared
of starting it because you're worried you'll fail. Whatever those
thoughts are, let them be, let them exist, and let
them play out if they need to. But all you
need to focus on is staying on that schedule and
staying consistent. You cannot, and I will say, you cannot,
(10:28):
live a life based on how you feel, because all
your mind and body want is to feel comfort. So
for these few months, do not let your mind tell
you what to do. Don't let it tell you how
you're going to live your day. Don't let it dictate
the way that you spend your mornings, afternoons or evenings.
Let your schedule do that. Let your planning tell you
(10:49):
what you're doing. Let your schedule tell you what you
will be doing morning, afternoon, and evening. Which is why
the planning is just so important. It is the crux
of you making it or breaking it. Planning and having
a strict schedule with yourself is so necessary. It is
(11:09):
the foundation of whether you will succeed or not. And
I cannot stress that enough, especially in these times where
you're trying to do things that you have not done before,
or walking on grounds you've never walked before, or when
you're trying hard to stay consistent, because when you are
trying to step into a version of yourself that you've
never been before and you never walk that path, your
feelings will fight you every step of the way. So
(11:32):
know that that's going to happen. At least if you
know you know what you're looking out for. Your brain
will throw out every single excuse, I'm tired, you can
do it tomorrow. Come on, You've got so much time tomorrow.
I don't feel inspired today, but tomorrow I will. You
know what actually, I've worked really hard for these couple
of hours. I just have a break. I'm going to
go take a break, hang out with my friends. And
(11:52):
if you rely on your feelings to lead you, you'll
never get anywhere new because feelings will always pull you
back to what is safe and familiar. So if you
need to have that on repeat in your mind, please
do because it is going to be what carries you
on to the next step and the next one. But
when you have a plan, a plan don't care how
you feel. A plan doesn't care if you're tired, or
(12:13):
insecure or scared. A plan is your roadmap that says,
this is what we're doing today, end of story. And
you should know that you've created this plan for your success.
You should know that you've created this plan knowing yourself.
So when you're looking at this plan that you've made,
you need to have full faith in it. You need
to have full trust that this is what is necessary
(12:33):
to get me where I want. And therefore, the planning
stage is very important, sitting down, writing down the goal,
writing out every micro step in between, breaking it down
between the days, between the weeks. That is why it's
so important when you're pushing yourself to stay consistent when
you're trying to break old patterns and build new ones.
This plan will be your saving grace. It will be
your structure when your emotions are messy. It will give
(12:56):
you direction when your mind is chaotic, and it takes
the decision out of the moment, and it saves you
from yourself, or I should say it saves your higher
self from your lower self. So don't wait until the
morning to decide what you're going to do. Decide the
night before, Betsy, it decided at the beginning of the week,
for the whole week, because when you wake up tired
or uninspired or anxious, you will not have the energy
(13:18):
to negotiate with yourself, and you won't even have the
ability to. You'll just follow the plan. And here's the thing.
The more you follow through on that plan, the more
you prove to yourself that you can. That wasn't meanterrhyme,
but it did. The more you follow through with your plan,
the more you just prove to yourself that you can,
and you start building evidence. You start building a whole portfolio,
(13:39):
a whole bank of evidence for yourself that you are
capable of showing up even when you don't feel like it.
And that, my friend, is how confidence is built. That's
how true self trust, self belief is built, not from
hyping yourself up, not from your friend telling you you can,
but from keeping your word over and over again. So
(14:01):
if consistency feels disgusting at first, it's okay, it's normal.
It's part of rewiring yourself. But let your plan carry
you through that discomfort until consistency becomes your default. There
is this brilliant book called Discipline Is Destiny by Ryan Holiday.
I highly recommend it for this phase of your life,
or any phase, to be honest. It has such great
(14:23):
reminders in it. But he talks about how most people
think discipline is restrictive. But Ryan Holiday flips it and
he says discipline actually frees you. If you are disciplined
with money, you have financial freedom. If you're disciplined with
your body, you move freely. If you're disciplined with your time,
you control your life instead of being pulled around by
(14:45):
everyone else's demands. He talks about how self control is
the ultimate strength and reminds us that anyone can give
into your impulses. We can eat young food easily. We
can skip our workouts, over spending lashing out. That's so easy.
But the person who can pause and choose wisely and
stick to the hard thing, that is where real power
(15:06):
is at. He also talks about how geniuses and high
achievers around the world are not driven by bursts of inspiration.
They're actually driven through their consistency with all the small,
boring little things. It's the writer who writes every day,
it's the athlete who trains every single day. It's that
entrepreneur who shows up to do the un glamorous work.
(15:28):
Greatness is actually built on boring repetition. You know something
else that's really useful during this time is taking inventory,
making sure that you are on track, making sure your
mind is where it needs to be. Sometimes we can
think we're on track, but we can go so far
off and not even realize. And so daily or weekly
check ins are really useful to make sure that you're
(15:48):
still going in the direction that's required and necessary, and
that your mind is catching up to the work that
you need to do. Because we need our mindset to
be at a certain level, you need your body to
physically be at a certain level, and so having these
check ins allowing yourself to make sure that each part
of you is aligned and not holding you back is
going to help you to continue on this journey, and
(16:10):
your daily check ins can help you to reflect on
the day to improve your next day. You have to
be honest and you have to be brutal in this.
So here are some of the questions that you could
ask yourself every single day, or if you want, you
could do a weekly check in with these questions to
help you reflect on what you can do better. So
the first one is what did I do today to
move closer to my goal? You can write as much
(16:31):
as you want or as little as you want in these.
The second one is did my actions reflect my priorities
or my excuses? You can even write out your actions
all the actions that you took in the day into
a table and categorize them into ones that took me
towards my goal or away from them. The third one
is where did I waste my energy or let myself
get distracted? The fourth one is how will I show
(16:53):
up differently tomorrow. I'm actually going to eat my breakfast
tomorrow because I realized I didn't have enough energy to
actually do the work I needed to do. And I
lost focus and I wasn't able to really put in
my all. If it's a gym goal, you might say,
you know what, I didn't eat today because I thought
I wanted to train fasted, but actually I realized I
wasn't able to push the weights as hard as I
usually am. So tomorrow, I'm going to prep the night
(17:15):
before the meals that I want to eat for the
next day. It can be as small or as big
as you want it to be. The next one is
if every day for the next ten weeks look like today,
would I hit my goal? Have a think about that?
And that's honestly it those five questions that you should
be asking yourself daily or weekly, and if you stick
with that, you'll honestly hold yourself accountable until the end
(17:37):
of the year. And it's such a great reflection to have,
right even if it's a whether it's a spiritual goal,
a physical goal, or a mental goal or a professional goal,
these questions can be so useful to help us make
sure we're just going in the right direction, to make
sure that we are being the person we want to be,
that we are in alignment, that we are choosing the
life we want to live every single day. And here
(17:57):
are some harsh truths that you might need to remind
yourself during this shift. You do not need more time,
You need more discipline. You already waste hours every single week.
Do not tell me you don't have enough time. You
already waste hours of your week. Imagine what would happen
if you redirected them. And the fact is we do
have more time than we think. We spend a lot
(18:18):
of time scrolling. Check how much time you're spending on
your phone and it will tell you how much time
you have to spare. Simple, how much time are you
spending scrolling on Instagram and not learning or doing the
things that you want to be doing. As soon as
you see that number, that will probably be an indication
of the amount of hours that you probably have spare
that you could be using on the things that you
want to be doing. The next one is if you
(18:40):
don't change now, nothing magical is going to happen on
January first. You're not going to become a new person
in January first. We think that all these New year's
new beginnings, No, it doesn't happen. It takes preparation to
become a new person. You can't just decide on January
first that this is the new person I'm going to
become and it's a new version of me. It's like
paying for an exam. You're not walking into an exam
(19:02):
without having revised expecting to ace it. So how do
you think you're going to get to January first and
suddenly become this new person? Absolutely not going to happen.
The preparation is necessary, and this is the preparation to
be able to consistently stay the person you want to be.
You may go into January first being the person you
want to be, but then it's about how am I
going to remain it? How am I going to stay
(19:23):
this person and keep growing into the better version of
that person. So this preparation period is necessary to start
the next year in a way that you want to.
New year does not reset your habits. It just exposes
whether you've been building them. Basically what we've just been saying.
The next one is motivation is useless unless you do
not pair it with action. You can believe, you can dream,
(19:45):
you can say all the things that you want to do,
but let me tell you, if it's not paired with action,
it will not take you anywhere, you'll still be sitting
in the same place as you were. Action is what's
required to actually get to the place you want to be.
You need to make moves, okay, and you need to
be making the moves. Listening to podcasts, watching reels, making
vision boards means nothing if you do not do the
(20:08):
work you need to physically, maintain it emotionally put yourself
into the work that is required. If you're waiting until
you feel ready, you're going to be waiting forever. That
is a truth bomb that is necessary every single day
to remember. Action creates readiness, not the other way around.
Do not fool yourself into believing you're waiting to be
(20:28):
ready before you take action. No, the more you take action,
the more ready you will be. You can either have
excuses or results, but you cannot have both. Truth You
can either have excuses or results, you cannot have both.
Which one do you want is what you need to
ask yourself. Every single excuse costs you a piece of
a life that you say that you want. I'm going
(20:49):
to repeat that one for the people in the back,
for the people who aren't listening, who tuned out for
a second. Every excuse costs you a piece of the
life that you say you want, and your comfort zone
is keeping you broke, unfulfilled, and stuck. Remember that it
is not doing you any justice that comfort zone of yours.
Growth and comfort cannot live in the same space, and
(21:11):
you'll be surprised how comfortable you will feel in the
spaces you felt discomfort in just by staying consistent. And
the last one is people will not clap for you
in these next ten weeks, and they shouldn't. You're not
doing this validation. You're not doing it for other people.
You're doing it for you. Forget the claps, forget the applause.
It doesn't last long and it doesn't fulfill you. So
(21:31):
remember this is not about proving yourself to any one.
And if you quit every single time it gets hard,
you will spend your whole life starting over and over again.
We need to stop being addicted to these fresh starts
and fall in love with actually finishing something. You know,
you can get so much excitement about starting something, but
actually it's when you complete something where you actually get
true satisfaction. And so remember this discipline that you create
(21:55):
in these ten weeks will give you freedom that motivation
will never ever be able to give you. When you
build discipline in one area, it actually seeps into every
other part of your life. So discipline just in these
ten weeks will benefit you for the rest of your life,
and you will only benefit from it. And that's what
I've noticed in my life when I didn't lack discipline,
is where I feel the most lost in life. When
(22:16):
I am disciplined, when I'm doing my meditation in the morning,
when I'm getting through my to do list, when I'm
going to my workouts regularly, I feel the best version
of myself. And I want you to feel that so badly,
because I know what it feels like to be in
this state of just existing. You've got to live, and
to live, you need discipline to live. You need to
feel life to its fullest. And the only way you
(22:38):
get to do that is by really knowing how you're
spending your time and your energy. Doing the boring things
repeatedly is what creates an extraordinary life. So my dream,
my hope, my deep prayer for you is that when
you are sitting there on December thirty first, you won't
just be celebrating your holidays. You won't just be celebrating Christmas,
you won't just be celebrating a new year. You're going
(22:59):
to be celebrating yourself. You're going to be celebrating a
new version that you have become by committing for these
next few weeks. And I really hope that for you,
so deeply. I hope that for my friends that are struggling.
I hope that for you. I hope that for myself,
and I really pray that we all get there together.
Let me know if you do this, let me know
if you commit, let me know how it's going, let
(23:20):
me know what your struggles are. Keep trying to make
episodes to help you along, but share your journey with me.
I would love to hear how you're doing. Sending you
so much love, So much love is coming from my
heart to yours right now. I deeply want this for you,
and I know you want it for yourself, but the
desire has to be met with action, and that is
what this is for. Sending you so much love. Have
(23:42):
an incredible week, and I hope it is your planning
week where you kill it, kill it so hard. Love
you
You do not need more time, You need more discipline.
You already waste hours every single week. Do not tell
me you don't have enough time. When you're trying to
break old patterns and build new ones. This plan will
be your saving grace. It will be your structure when
your emotions are messy. It will give you direction when
your mind is chaotic, and it takes the decision making
(00:20):
out of the moment, and it saves you from yourself,
or I should say it saves your higher self from
your lower self. I'm RATHERI Wukiah and on my podcast
A Really Good Cry, we embrace the messy and the beautiful,
providing a space for raw, unfiltered conversations that celebrate vulnerability
and allow you to tune in to learn, connect and
find comfort together. Hey everyone, and welcome back to this
(00:43):
week's episode of A Really Good Cry. Thank you so
much for being here, Thank you for listening. I hope
you've all had such a lovely week. But listen, we
have maybe thirteen weeks left until Christmas. I know that
sounds wild, bizarre, insane, whatever the word is. It's crazy.
The fact that we may have only about thirteen weeks,
(01:04):
depending on when you're listening to this away from Christmas,
and if I'm honest, I'm reminding you of this because
I do not want you to be ending this year
full of regret, full of I'm going to do better
next year, because honestly, that is the worst kind of disappointment.
It's when you let yourself down and why leave to
next year what you can do this year when you
(01:26):
still have time to do it right now. I am
not going to let you do that because I've done
it before. I've been there, I've been disappointed with myself
at the end of the year. I've got to the
end of the year thinking God, I really did have
the time to do that, Why didn't I do it?
I really wish I had done this. I really wish
I'd put my time and invested my energy into doing
(01:47):
this thing. I do not want you to go through that,
And I know if you're part of this community, you
don't want to be in that place either. But sometimes
we just need a little bit of loving, sometimes tough love,
in encouragement from others around us, people who have the
same desire, people who have the same motivations, people who
have been there before and don't want you to make
(02:08):
that same mistake that they did today. My friends, I'm
going to be that person for you because I think
when we get to a place where we're disappointed with ourselves,
it's harder than any other kind of disappointment and it's
something that's really difficult to work through in process. So
how about we just don't get there, avoid it as
much as possible, disappointing ourselves, and that means putting in
(02:32):
some work. It's not going to be easy. I'm letting
you know right now that this conversation that we're about
to have is not going to be easy, but it
is absolutely necessary because I'd rather you dislike what I'm
saying now, but love yourself at the end of the year.
We did not start this year with optimism to end
it with disappointment. Absolutely not. It's not a cycle that
(02:54):
we're repeating, and I never want you to feel that again.
I really want you to look back at this year
and feel proud, like actually proud of yourself, accomplished and
satisfied that you kept the promises that you made to yourself.
But the reality is that you do not get there
without sacrifice, without commitment, and without consistency. So before you
(03:14):
keep listening, I want you to check yourself really quickly.
Are you actually ready for that? Because this isn't about
listening to a motivational pep talk and then doing absolutely nothing. No,
if that's what you're here for, tear me off right now.
This is honestly about deciding that the next ten weeks,
(03:34):
twelve weeks, thirteen weeks are going to absolutely count. Every
single day, every single week is going to count towards
you feeling fabulous about yourself at the end of the year.
This episode was actually fueled by conversations that I've been
having with some friends that have really been struggling to
commit to what it takes to become who they want
(03:55):
to be. And it's so hard as a friend seeing
someone that you love so much feeling disappointed in themselves
not committing to what they need to do to make
themselves into the person they want to be. As a friend,
I will tell you, I don't know which side of
it you're on listening to this, but it is so
hard watching you, and I can only imagine how hard
(04:17):
it is for you if it's this hard watching But
it's time to get rid of the excuses. Whether it's time,
whether it's skills, whether it's finding the right moment. I'm sorry,
but the fact that you want to do this should
be the only thing in your mind and nothing can
stop you if it's something you truly want to do.
I'm going to tell you a story about my friend. Now.
(04:39):
There was a bank holiday in London recently. If anybody listening,
is just the day that you get off. My friend
has really been struggling to get the things done that
he wants to do, to achieve the things he needs
to to get where he wants to be. But on
that day he decided to take the bank holiday Monday off.
So I said to him, with love and a little
bit of aggression, how on earth are you taking this
(05:00):
bank holiday Monday off when you don't even work Monday
to Friday in the first place. What are you taking
time off from? Are you taking time off from your
time off? Because the fact is you need to be living, breathing,
suffocating yourself with your dreams right now. And I'm so
sorry if that sounds harsh, but it is the reality
of it. And I can tell you something. It really
(05:22):
doesn't feel like a sacrifice if you know it's getting
you the life that you've been craving and desiring. It's
actually just redirection, redirecting your energy, narrowing your attention and focus,
and becoming a little bit invisible in life. Because I
promise you, when you look back in ten weeks time,
the regret won't be that you missed out on that
one party, or you said noted that one plan, or
(05:46):
you didn't go to your uncle's fifty fourth birthday, or
you missed out on going to carnival with your friends,
whatever it is, I guarantee you that regret will never
be as much as the regret you feel for not
backing yourself when it actually mattered, for not showing up
for yourself when it actually mattered, for not proving to
(06:08):
yourself that you can do what you've been saying you
want to do for this whole year. We really live
in this culture that glorifies balance. But sometimes balance is
not what you need short term. Sometimes what you need
is to tip the scales all the way to one
side and pour every ounce of energy into proving to
yourself that you can do the things that you have
(06:28):
been dreaming about. Look, some people might call that toxic.
Some people might say, no, that's just pushing yourself too hard.
But you have to make a choice for yourself, and
it might be that you'd rather prefer the comfort of
this life that you're living and feeling disappointed over pushing
yourself to a point that feels uncomfortable. And that's a
(06:49):
choice that you have to make. But if you're listening
to this thinking, you know, well, actually, I'm tired of
this life. I'm tired of saying I'm going to do
things and not doing them. Mom. I want to be
something better. So by the end of this year, then
that sacrifice is going to be necessary, and that driver
is going to be necessary, and that disappearing is going
to be necessary. And there's no no mo. There's no mo. Fomo.
(07:12):
There should be no more fomo. Guys. Fomo is in
your mind. It's not reality. When you're missing out on
things for a good reason, for a good purpose, you
shouldn't have any fear of missing out. You shouldn't have
any fear of losing friends. You should have a fear
of being misunderstood. And the reason of why you're doing this.
If you are steadfast in what you believe in and
(07:34):
why you're doing something, let all of that go. It's
a short period that you have to do this for
to get where you want to be, and everybody will
understand trust me, and if they don't, might be better
off without them, to be quite honest. So I'm here
asking you what would actually happen for the next ten
weeks if you went all in, not dabbling, not i'll try,
(07:54):
not dipping your toes in and out, but fully submerged,
head underwater, breathing it and living it. Take a second
to think about what that would feel like. What does
that look like. How do you envision your life being
in these ten weeks. What are the emotions you'll feel,
What are the changes you'd have to make in your
day to day life. How will your morning look different,
(08:16):
How will your afternoon look different? How will your evening
look different? How will your weekends look in these ten weeks?
Take a second to visualize that, but more importantly, take
a second to think about how you will feel in
those moments, in that morning, in that afternoon, in that evening,
when you've written your to do list and you actually
completed it by the end of the day, when you're
(08:38):
doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable but you know
it's for a reason. How what are the feelings you
want to feel, and what are the feelings you're worried
about feeling. The best thing to do is living things
out in your mind before you do them, because when
it actually happens, your body and your mind will feel
a little bit more at ease. It doesn't feel like
the first time you're doing it. It might feel like
the second time, so you might not be fully comfortable
(08:59):
with it, but it will definitely feel a little bit
more comfortable. And listen, none of this should be scaring you,
and none of this should be making you feel guilty
about how you've lived the last six months or seven
months of your life at all. That's not what this
is about. I'm saying it because you deserve to see
what it feels like when you do not abandon yourself,
when you finally keep promises to yourself, when you end
(09:19):
this year, and you can look at yourself in the mirror,
in the eye and say, I did not let myself down,
because I know how that feels. Been there and I've
done it for years on end, and I'm telling you
it does not feel good. And I definitely did not
regret saying no to the parties when I ended the
year saying I bloody did it and I did it right. Okay,
(09:41):
but what you will need in these weeks is consistency
and commitment. And now, consistency and commitment feels absolutely disgusting
at first. It is not fun. It will make you
feel like there's a lot of pressure. You may even
feel it physically, like you've got a weight on your heart,
because when you're not used to consistency and commitment and
you commit to things during the day, you add things
(10:03):
to your to do list, Yes, it feels like a wait.
It may even make you feel really anxious because you
are just not used to the schedule, or you're scared
of starting it because you're worried you'll fail. Whatever those
thoughts are, let them be, let them exist, and let
them play out if they need to. But all you
need to focus on is staying on that schedule and
staying consistent. You cannot, and I will say, you cannot,
(10:28):
live a life based on how you feel, because all
your mind and body want is to feel comfort. So
for these few months, do not let your mind tell
you what to do. Don't let it tell you how
you're going to live your day. Don't let it dictate
the way that you spend your mornings, afternoons or evenings.
Let your schedule do that. Let your planning tell you
(10:49):
what you're doing. Let your schedule tell you what you
will be doing morning, afternoon, and evening. Which is why
the planning is just so important. It is the crux
of you making it or breaking it. Planning and having
a strict schedule with yourself is so necessary. It is
(11:09):
the foundation of whether you will succeed or not. And
I cannot stress that enough, especially in these times where
you're trying to do things that you have not done before,
or walking on grounds you've never walked before, or when
you're trying hard to stay consistent, because when you are
trying to step into a version of yourself that you've
never been before and you never walk that path, your
feelings will fight you every step of the way. So
(11:32):
know that that's going to happen. At least if you
know you know what you're looking out for. Your brain
will throw out every single excuse, I'm tired, you can
do it tomorrow. Come on, You've got so much time tomorrow.
I don't feel inspired today, but tomorrow I will. You
know what actually, I've worked really hard for these couple
of hours. I just have a break. I'm going to
go take a break, hang out with my friends. And
(11:52):
if you rely on your feelings to lead you, you'll
never get anywhere new because feelings will always pull you
back to what is safe and familiar. So if you
need to have that on repeat in your mind, please
do because it is going to be what carries you
on to the next step and the next one. But
when you have a plan, a plan don't care how
you feel. A plan doesn't care if you're tired, or
(12:13):
insecure or scared. A plan is your roadmap that says,
this is what we're doing today, end of story. And
you should know that you've created this plan for your success.
You should know that you've created this plan knowing yourself.
So when you're looking at this plan that you've made,
you need to have full faith in it. You need
to have full trust that this is what is necessary
(12:33):
to get me where I want. And therefore, the planning
stage is very important, sitting down, writing down the goal,
writing out every micro step in between, breaking it down
between the days, between the weeks. That is why it's
so important when you're pushing yourself to stay consistent when
you're trying to break old patterns and build new ones.
This plan will be your saving grace. It will be
your structure when your emotions are messy. It will give
(12:56):
you direction when your mind is chaotic, and it takes
the decision out of the moment, and it saves you
from yourself, or I should say it saves your higher
self from your lower self. So don't wait until the
morning to decide what you're going to do. Decide the
night before, Betsy, it decided at the beginning of the week,
for the whole week, because when you wake up tired
or uninspired or anxious, you will not have the energy
(13:18):
to negotiate with yourself, and you won't even have the
ability to. You'll just follow the plan. And here's the thing.
The more you follow through on that plan, the more
you prove to yourself that you can. That wasn't meanterrhyme,
but it did. The more you follow through with your plan,
the more you just prove to yourself that you can,
and you start building evidence. You start building a whole portfolio,
(13:39):
a whole bank of evidence for yourself that you are
capable of showing up even when you don't feel like it.
And that, my friend, is how confidence is built. That's
how true self trust, self belief is built, not from
hyping yourself up, not from your friend telling you you can,
but from keeping your word over and over again. So
(14:01):
if consistency feels disgusting at first, it's okay, it's normal.
It's part of rewiring yourself. But let your plan carry
you through that discomfort until consistency becomes your default. There
is this brilliant book called Discipline Is Destiny by Ryan Holiday.
I highly recommend it for this phase of your life,
or any phase, to be honest. It has such great
(14:23):
reminders in it. But he talks about how most people
think discipline is restrictive. But Ryan Holiday flips it and
he says discipline actually frees you. If you are disciplined
with money, you have financial freedom. If you're disciplined with
your body, you move freely. If you're disciplined with your time,
you control your life instead of being pulled around by
(14:45):
everyone else's demands. He talks about how self control is
the ultimate strength and reminds us that anyone can give
into your impulses. We can eat young food easily. We
can skip our workouts, over spending lashing out. That's so easy.
But the person who can pause and choose wisely and
stick to the hard thing, that is where real power
(15:06):
is at. He also talks about how geniuses and high
achievers around the world are not driven by bursts of inspiration.
They're actually driven through their consistency with all the small,
boring little things. It's the writer who writes every day,
it's the athlete who trains every single day. It's that
entrepreneur who shows up to do the un glamorous work.
(15:28):
Greatness is actually built on boring repetition. You know something
else that's really useful during this time is taking inventory,
making sure that you are on track, making sure your
mind is where it needs to be. Sometimes we can
think we're on track, but we can go so far
off and not even realize. And so daily or weekly
check ins are really useful to make sure that you're
(15:48):
still going in the direction that's required and necessary, and
that your mind is catching up to the work that
you need to do. Because we need our mindset to
be at a certain level, you need your body to
physically be at a certain level, and so having these
check ins allowing yourself to make sure that each part
of you is aligned and not holding you back is
going to help you to continue on this journey, and
(16:10):
your daily check ins can help you to reflect on
the day to improve your next day. You have to
be honest and you have to be brutal in this.
So here are some of the questions that you could
ask yourself every single day, or if you want, you
could do a weekly check in with these questions to
help you reflect on what you can do better. So
the first one is what did I do today to
move closer to my goal? You can write as much
(16:31):
as you want or as little as you want in these.
The second one is did my actions reflect my priorities
or my excuses? You can even write out your actions
all the actions that you took in the day into
a table and categorize them into ones that took me
towards my goal or away from them. The third one
is where did I waste my energy or let myself
get distracted? The fourth one is how will I show
(16:53):
up differently tomorrow. I'm actually going to eat my breakfast
tomorrow because I realized I didn't have enough energy to
actually do the work I needed to do. And I
lost focus and I wasn't able to really put in
my all. If it's a gym goal, you might say,
you know what, I didn't eat today because I thought
I wanted to train fasted, but actually I realized I
wasn't able to push the weights as hard as I
usually am. So tomorrow, I'm going to prep the night
(17:15):
before the meals that I want to eat for the
next day. It can be as small or as big
as you want it to be. The next one is
if every day for the next ten weeks look like today,
would I hit my goal? Have a think about that?
And that's honestly it those five questions that you should
be asking yourself daily or weekly, and if you stick
with that, you'll honestly hold yourself accountable until the end
(17:37):
of the year. And it's such a great reflection to have,
right even if it's a whether it's a spiritual goal,
a physical goal, or a mental goal or a professional goal,
these questions can be so useful to help us make
sure we're just going in the right direction, to make
sure that we are being the person we want to be,
that we are in alignment, that we are choosing the
life we want to live every single day. And here
(17:57):
are some harsh truths that you might need to remind
yourself during this shift. You do not need more time,
You need more discipline. You already waste hours every single week.
Do not tell me you don't have enough time. You
already waste hours of your week. Imagine what would happen
if you redirected them. And the fact is we do
have more time than we think. We spend a lot
(18:18):
of time scrolling. Check how much time you're spending on
your phone and it will tell you how much time
you have to spare. Simple, how much time are you
spending scrolling on Instagram and not learning or doing the
things that you want to be doing. As soon as
you see that number, that will probably be an indication
of the amount of hours that you probably have spare
that you could be using on the things that you
want to be doing. The next one is if you
(18:40):
don't change now, nothing magical is going to happen on
January first. You're not going to become a new person
in January first. We think that all these New year's
new beginnings, No, it doesn't happen. It takes preparation to
become a new person. You can't just decide on January
first that this is the new person I'm going to
become and it's a new version of me. It's like
paying for an exam. You're not walking into an exam
(19:02):
without having revised expecting to ace it. So how do
you think you're going to get to January first and
suddenly become this new person? Absolutely not going to happen.
The preparation is necessary, and this is the preparation to
be able to consistently stay the person you want to be.
You may go into January first being the person you
want to be, but then it's about how am I
going to remain it? How am I going to stay
(19:23):
this person and keep growing into the better version of
that person. So this preparation period is necessary to start
the next year in a way that you want to.
New year does not reset your habits. It just exposes
whether you've been building them. Basically what we've just been saying.
The next one is motivation is useless unless you do
not pair it with action. You can believe, you can dream,
(19:45):
you can say all the things that you want to do,
but let me tell you, if it's not paired with action,
it will not take you anywhere, you'll still be sitting
in the same place as you were. Action is what's
required to actually get to the place you want to be.
You need to make moves, okay, and you need to
be making the moves. Listening to podcasts, watching reels, making
vision boards means nothing if you do not do the
(20:08):
work you need to physically, maintain it emotionally put yourself
into the work that is required. If you're waiting until
you feel ready, you're going to be waiting forever. That
is a truth bomb that is necessary every single day
to remember. Action creates readiness, not the other way around.
Do not fool yourself into believing you're waiting to be
(20:28):
ready before you take action. No, the more you take action,
the more ready you will be. You can either have
excuses or results, but you cannot have both. Truth You
can either have excuses or results, you cannot have both.
Which one do you want is what you need to
ask yourself. Every single excuse costs you a piece of
a life that you say that you want. I'm going
(20:49):
to repeat that one for the people in the back,
for the people who aren't listening, who tuned out for
a second. Every excuse costs you a piece of the
life that you say you want, and your comfort zone
is keeping you broke, unfulfilled, and stuck. Remember that it
is not doing you any justice that comfort zone of yours.
Growth and comfort cannot live in the same space, and
(21:11):
you'll be surprised how comfortable you will feel in the
spaces you felt discomfort in just by staying consistent. And
the last one is people will not clap for you
in these next ten weeks, and they shouldn't. You're not
doing this validation. You're not doing it for other people.
You're doing it for you. Forget the claps, forget the applause.
It doesn't last long and it doesn't fulfill you. So
(21:31):
remember this is not about proving yourself to any one.
And if you quit every single time it gets hard,
you will spend your whole life starting over and over again.
We need to stop being addicted to these fresh starts
and fall in love with actually finishing something. You know,
you can get so much excitement about starting something, but
actually it's when you complete something where you actually get
true satisfaction. And so remember this discipline that you create
(21:55):
in these ten weeks will give you freedom that motivation
will never ever be able to give you. When you
build discipline in one area, it actually seeps into every
other part of your life. So discipline just in these
ten weeks will benefit you for the rest of your life,
and you will only benefit from it. And that's what
I've noticed in my life when I didn't lack discipline,
is where I feel the most lost in life. When
(22:16):
I am disciplined, when I'm doing my meditation in the morning,
when I'm getting through my to do list, when I'm
going to my workouts regularly, I feel the best version
of myself. And I want you to feel that so badly,
because I know what it feels like to be in
this state of just existing. You've got to live, and
to live, you need discipline to live. You need to
feel life to its fullest. And the only way you
(22:38):
get to do that is by really knowing how you're
spending your time and your energy. Doing the boring things
repeatedly is what creates an extraordinary life. So my dream,
my hope, my deep prayer for you is that when
you are sitting there on December thirty first, you won't
just be celebrating your holidays. You won't just be celebrating Christmas,
you won't just be celebrating a new year. You're going
(22:59):
to be celebrating yourself. You're going to be celebrating a
new version that you have become by committing for these
next few weeks. And I really hope that for you,
so deeply. I hope that for my friends that are struggling.
I hope that for you. I hope that for myself,
and I really pray that we all get there together.
Let me know if you do this, let me know
if you commit, let me know how it's going, let
(23:20):
me know what your struggles are. Keep trying to make
episodes to help you along, but share your journey with me.
I would love to hear how you're doing. Sending you
so much love, So much love is coming from my
heart to yours right now. I deeply want this for you,
and I know you want it for yourself, but the
desire has to be met with action, and that is
what this is for. Sending you so much love. Have
(23:42):
an incredible week, and I hope it is your planning
week where you kill it, kill it so hard. Love
you
Host
Radhi Devlukia
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