December 23, 2025 • 29 mins
What if the answers you're searching for have been inside you all along?
How often do you hand your power to others without even noticing?
And could your biggest struggles be invitations to finally see yourself clearly?
In this deeply honest Q&A episode of A Really Good Cry, Radhi opens up like never before, responding to your most personal questions—from love and friendship to purpose, comparison, creativity, and healing. Filled with humor, vulnerability, and striking self-awareness, Radhi shares the lessons she’s learned the hard way and the ones she’s still learning now.
She talks about the lifelong pattern of believing others knew better than she did, how she finds calm and balance in her marriage, why friendship breakups can hurt more than romantic ones, and what it really looks like to find motivation as a creator and business owner.
Radhi also gets real about comparison, jealousy, burnout, emotional eating, and self-sabotage—offering not polished perfection, but raw truth and lived experience. Through it all, she reminds us that growth isn’t linear, emotions aren’t weaknesses, and you can rewrite the way you see yourself at any time.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why trusting yourself is one of the hardest—and most transformative—skills to build
- How to stay an individual while loving someone deeply
- Why friendship breakups can be necessary for growth
- What creative blocks really mean and how to move through them
- How comparison can actually reveal what you truly want
- Why self-love requires evidence, not affirmations
- How to recognize and interrupt cycles of self-sabotage
- What it means to carry the people you’ve lost into who you become
This episode is a reminder that you're not alone in your questions, your doubts, or your messy middle.
It’s not about having it all figured out—it’s about learning to notice your life, honor your emotions, and trust that you're becoming the person you’re meant to be.
Follow Radhi:
https://www.instagram.com/radhidevlukia/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxWe9A4kMf9V_AHOXkGhCzQ
https://www.facebook.com/radhidevlukia1/
https://www.tiktok.com/@radhidevlukia
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
How did you know Jay was the one?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
He was?
Speaker 3 (00:06):
I'm Radley d Wlukiah and on my podcast A Really
Good Cry, we embrace the messy and the beautiful, providing
a space for raw, un fielded conversations that celebrate vulnerability
and allow you to tune in to learn, connect and
find comfort together.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Helloa.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Already today we are going to be doing Q and
A because Larlay, my social media manager, is sitting here
and she collected some questions that you all had that
you wanted to ask me. Some about me, I assume,
some not about me, I hope, and I'm just gonna
go back and forth. I don't actually know what the
questions are, but Lovely Laala over here's going to ask
me them and I'm going to answer for you all.
(00:42):
Thank you all so much for sending in your questions,
so sweet of you. Very excited to do this. Handing
over to Larlay.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Hello, Hello, Okay, Rady, what's a mistake that you made
that ended up teaching you the most?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
She really threw me in the deepen. There a mistake
that I made.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Okay. I don't know whether this is the biggest mistake
that I made, but a mistake that I have made
throughout my life that I've learned from is constantly believing
that other people knew better for me than I did,
and really believing that I didn't have the capability of
making decisions.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
For myself in my life.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
And that went on from I don't know, from being
a we little toddler to probably into my late twenties.
It was something that I really learned from because it
took away my power, it took away my confidence. It
made me feel just not great about myself that I
didn't even know what I should be doing in my
own life, whether it was personal or professional in anything,
and so I felt like I just didn't know myself.
(01:42):
So I'd say that was a mistake that I made
over and over again, just not trusting in my own
ability to know who I am and make my own
life choices.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
So don't do that.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Just know that you are the best person in the
best position to make your own decisions for yourself.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Lovely, do I give feedback for each.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Raddie?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
How often do you actually cry? Oh?
Speaker 3 (02:06):
My god, how often do I actually cry? Well, Lolly
was here yesterday with me on a shoot and I
cried yesterday. So I'd say like a solid if not more,
but a solid once a week. Like, yeah, definitely a
solid once a week. Over the weekend, I watched something
cried watching it. Yesterday I was answering a question, cried
(02:27):
in that question. So yeah, I'm going to say fair
to say a solid once a week if not more
minimum the baseline is once a week and sometimes you
get a bonus as well.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
How did you know Jay was the one?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
He was calm in a chaotic world? You know, like
he calmed my nervous system, which I hadn't had before.
He definitely like soothed it in a very long term way.
Like it wasn't a oh yeah, he's a peaceful person,
It was a oh yeah. He makes me feel very
calm about my own life, supports me in ways that
(03:08):
I didn't realize I needed. Always made sure that he
had the opportunity to become my crutch, and he chose
not to. He chose to help me to find my
own feet. And I really appreciated that because men love
to be saviors and he didn't want to be one
of those. He wanted to be the person that lifted
me up and gave me my own two little feet
to walk on, because I was quite lost when we
(03:30):
end up getting married. So yeah, I think there were
multiple things. But I also think you don't necessarily even
know that when you get married. You learn it as
you go along. And some days I may want to
punch him in the face, not very often, but sometimes,
and other times I'm like, oh, yeah, this was a
really good decision. And so I think it ebbs and
flows so much, and I'm sure as years go on
(03:53):
you kind of go through different phases of your relationship.
But I think the stability, the calming of your nervous system,
and the support, and also the foundation for us was
just that our spiritual values were so met and I
knew that I wanted to be with someone whose main
priority was loving God and with our relationships loving each
other through the love of God. That was a big,
(04:14):
big pull for me. That's something that I knew I
wanted in my life, and everything else was in addition.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
And so that's that.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
I'm gonna keep it short and sweet.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
How do you handle differences of opinion with your spouse.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Well, I'm a bit sasy and I like to be
really stubborn.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
I don't like it.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
I just am really stubborn, and so I struggle with
that because sometimes I know I'm in the wrong, but
I still just have to keep fighting my corner. How
do I handle differences now, I've tried to, even if
in the moment I get really agitated or I can
be a bit sassy, within a couple of minutes, I
(04:55):
try to calm myself and be strategic. Sometimes I need
space and I need time to think about my response,
and so I'll take that time. And luckily we're both
people who don't really like arguing, and so we'll try
our best to come at this with love rather than
the desire to be right most of the time, and
(05:17):
try to come together to have a resolving conversation rather
than I am right conversation. And usually if we both
come with that intention, it resolves much faster. I also
think I'm the type of person and so is he,
where we just don't hold grudges that much, and so
even if we're annoyed at something like an hour ago,
we let go of things really fast. Both of us
are people with friends and family. We let go of
(05:39):
things so fast, and I think that's something we've trained
ourselves to be so that life just doesn't feel so heavy.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
How do you maintain individuality while being in a relationship.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
I find that.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Question really interesting because I never really felt like I
lost my individuality in the relationship, and I think it's
because we both had such different personalities. In so many ways,
we had different personalities and so we couldn't really become
the same person or feel like we lost ourselves in
each other. Oh, I'll tell you a big reason. That
is because neither of us expected the other person to
(06:15):
compromise based on what we wanted. And so I'll give
you a really minor example. I knew that family is
really important to me, and I wanted to travel back
and forth from London and LA to spend time in
my family. Did I expect him to do that all
the time with me when that wasn't his priority. No.
Jay has a purpose and a desire of what he
wants to do in his life, and that may mean
(06:36):
traveling across the world to speak in different places and
do things. Does he expect me to go with him? No?
And so I think the thing I've learned from him
on how to remain individuals and how to support each
other is allow the person to do what they love
doing and that's going to make them a better person.
As soon as you start trying to control or dictate
how the other person lives their life, it is just
(06:58):
asking for failure, just asking for an argument. It's just
asking for that other person to not do what makes
them happy, and then the relationship isn't happy. And so
I think it's supporting each other in where you want,
what you want to do and trying to allow that
person to live a life that may be different to
the way that you want to live it as long
as it doesn't jeopardize your relationship in any way.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Moving on to a different type of relationship, how do
you overcome friendship breakups?
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Yeah, oh this is a hard one for sure. I
have been through a few friendship breakups myself. How do
I navigate it at first? You know, when I was younger,
I used to really take it to heart. I would
try everything. I would cling on to the threads left
of that relationship even if there were none left, Even
though even if they had been burnt completely, I was
(07:48):
still try and hold on to it. And it just
made me realize a force friendship a forced relationship, but
force anything is never a good thing, and sometimes when
you hold onto things for longer than necessary, it actually
makes the relationship far worse than just letting it go.
And I can obviously say that in hindsight, it's harder
in the moment, but I remember, I'll tell you one
(08:08):
story that really helped me to see the perspective on that.
I had a friend that i'd known since I was sixteen,
at the age of twenty four, so a good eight
years I think. Yeah, at the age of twenty four,
we really fell apart. We just were not agreeing on things.
We had a disagreement, didn't feel like we had much
(08:29):
left to have a friendship on, so we decided to
take a break. Well, we thought we were just not
going to be friends at all, so we decided that
we just wouldn't talk to each other. Two years later
or something, something happened in her life, she reached out
to me again. We end up having a conversation, and
since then we reconnected and we've been friends again. I've
had the same thing with friends that I've had breaks
(08:50):
from for like five years at a time as well.
Sometimes it's okay to let things go, to allow yourselves
to grow and change in a way that brings you
back together in a better and different way. And I've
had examples of that in my life that has made
me have faith in that. But also, you know, relationships
are hard enough. Your friendship should be easy. They should
be the thing that you don't have to put too
(09:11):
much effort into it.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
It's not difficult, it's not tiring.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
We have enough of that in our relationships that were
with people that we're family with, Like you have to
try and make a relationship. You have to try and
build your relationship with your parents, your sisters, your siblings,
you're related to them. But your friends are the people
that you choose, right, and so.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Why make that difficult?
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Okay, moving on to some career questions. How do you
organize your day and motivate yourself as a business owner
or someone who's self employed.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yeah, so I actually became self employed. So I worked
in a hospital for a while when I lived in London,
and then I became self employed when I was so
I'm going to say approximately nine years ago I became employed.
And our first structure was so difficult. Trying to plan
my days out was so difficult because time is just there,
(10:07):
you know, like no one's telling you have to do anything.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
No one's forcing you to.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
You've got no deadlines, no timelines, because I was so
used to having other people giving me them. And so
what I learned is the first thing you have to
do is create a routine and structure in your life.
And how do you do that, Well, you literally write
our timetable. We function best when we have routine in
our life, and so create your personal routine, your professional routine,
(10:33):
and try and figure out in the day where that
all fits in. Make sure you have some sort of
activity in your life that has to be a must
for a physical body, for your mental body, some sort
of practice that feeds your soul during the day. And
then break up your day into First of all, break
up your goals or the plan that you're trying to
make into into smaller steps, and then just start fitting
them into your days, into your weeks, into your months.
(10:56):
I think planning is really important, but I think doing
is almost more important. And so I just started, you know,
I started filming things, I started editing things. Sometimes I
would do two things in a day, sometimes it would before,
but I had to start doing things to know how
much I could even fit into a day. And so
I would say, obviously, plan, but just start going, Like,
make sure you don't wait too long to keep planning
(11:17):
and perfecting before you get going.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
How do you overcome the fear of failure.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
By realizing that failure isn't a negative thing, by realizing
that failure is not an obscure thing that only some
people go through. Every single person goes to failure in
some way.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
In their life.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
And we've been taught to demonize failure like it's something
negative that happens in our life. But if you believe
that everything happens in your life for a reason, which
I strongly started believing in, then you know that there
is a reason why that happened, whether it is the
flight that you missed, whether it is the job.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
That you didn't get.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Think about all the times where things were missed in
your life and you were so upset about it, but
it was actually saving you from something or saving you
for something better.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
And I really believe in that.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
The amount of times I've heard that I missed the flight,
but something happened on that fly, The amount of times
that I've not got to somewhere because there was even traffic,
and I realized that there'd been an accident on the
way that I was meant to be going all the time,
that I didn't get the partnerships that I wanted, and
then I realized something happened with that brand, Like, there's
so many times where that's happened in my life. And
(12:26):
even if it feels like a failure, I think you
have to realize that winds and failures are just part
of one cycle and it's a totally natural way to
go through life. We can't just have wins throughout our
whole life. That's not how it works. And so coming
to terms with the fact that failure failure is just
a part of life is so important, and then also
having a bigger picture and a bigger perspective of Wow,
(12:48):
I only know what I see in my life. I
have no idea what the bigger plan is. I have
no idea what's in store for me, And so believing
in more than what you just see.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
How do you handle creative blocks or burnout?
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Creative blocks or burnout? How do I deal with that? Oh,
I've had creative blocks and burner. I feel like I'm
going through it right now. To be honest, we have
had a really unexpected year, and we've had to really
cram lots of things into the year in the time
that I have had, and sometimes I'm like, oh, I
feel like I've got nothing left in me. And you
know what that is a sign of to me, either
(13:26):
that I need some sort of rest, but even more so,
it's a sign for me that I need to learn
and need to reabsorb myself in some sort of study,
some sort of learning, observing real life, being present in
the moment. Most of the time, we end up having
creative block. Creativity is around us at all times, in
every single moment, in conversations, in our experiences, in nature
around us. The time that we feel like we have
(13:48):
a creativity block or like we've got no inspiration is
when we stop noticing. As soon as you stop noticing
life around you is when you get bored and when
you feel like you've got nothing left in you. And
so there's always something learn. We have unlimited amount of
things in this world to learn. Whether it's about trees,
whether it's about I don't know, neuroscience, you know, we've
got plenty of things that we can learn and be
(14:10):
inspired by. And so the moment you stop learning is
the moment you become stagnant and you feel like there's
nothing left. And also this idea of repetitive things feeling boring,
But sometimes it's less about the repetition and more about
the fact that you're not noticing the differences in your day.
You're only focusing on the things that are the same.
(14:31):
And so I'd say open your eyes a little wider,
be a little bit more present, and start to find
the little things in your day that feel magical that
didn't before.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
What's the hardest part of your work?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Hardest part of my work?
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Honestly, sometimes for me I struggle with because a lot
of my work is online. It's just the fear of judgment,
which is something that I really work through on a
daily basis, or at least try to, whether it's a
physical appearance, whether it's the way people have perceived me,
whether it's the way people have misunderstood me. Like there's
(15:12):
so many things that you put yourself into by doing
the line of work that I do, But I also
always remind myself that it is just part and parcel
of it. Like I can't choose to be online and
not have that as be part of it. It just
doesn't happen in that way, and so I'd say that's
a really difficult part. And then also feeling like you're
being original. I think that's another thing that I find difficult.
(15:34):
It's you're constantly seeing all these trends, You're constantly seeing
people produce like all this amazing content. You're like, I
wish I could do stuff like that, and I wish
my content looked like that. And everything's always about being
better and better and better, and so what I'm trying
to do instead is do less, but do it well.
And that's something that I've been trying to practice this year,
but hope to do better next year.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Moving into more of a self reflection and growth category.
But off the back of comparing yourself to others, a
lot of people had a question about do you ever
compare your journey to others and how do you stop? Do? I?
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Of course I do.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
I wouldn't say I ever have this desire to be
like the best of anything. I've never really been that
type of person where I've been driven to have the
number one spot for something or like really be the
best at something. It's never really been my mentality. But
definitely when it comes to. You know, I've realized it's
(16:32):
so easy and to appreciate someone's success when it's far
from yours. Like it's so easy to say, oh, Wow,
this person who is an incredible dancer. They are so
incredible and I love the content that they do, and
it's so easy to feel joy for that person. The
hardest thing to feel joy about are the people who
(16:53):
are doing very similar things to yours. And that's when
you know whether you have ultimate comf and what you
do or whether you still have some insecurities about it.
And so I ever and flow through that. Sometimes when
I feel so rooted in my purpose and I know
that it's not about those things, and I know that
it's about how many people I get to help and
whether I'm having fun and whether I'm happy in the
(17:16):
work that I'm doing, I feel like I can really
look past that. But sometimes when I'm not feeling great
in the things that I'm producing or not good in myself,
I notice the jealousy and the judgment kind of peers
piercing through my little bubble that I try to keep
around me. And so what I've learned to do is
see my jealousy as signals and signs of things that
(17:37):
I want in my life, but also of things that
I want to improve on in my life. And so
I think it's okay to have feelings of jealousy. I
think it's a part of our human experience of thinking, Oh,
I wish I had this in my life, or I
wish I could do this in my life. But it's
really how you take that jealousy and what you turn into.
So either you can turn it into spite and despise
(17:59):
for that person, which would be unuseful, or you can
turn into a moment of reflection and noticing that, oh,
these are the things that I might want in life.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
How can I make that happen.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Have you dealt with stress eating and or how do
you release negative energy after a tough day?
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Oh my god?
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Okay, So I my vice in life is definitely food
and I haven't and people always get surprised at that
because they're like, oh, you eat so healthy. And the
thing is, I do beat healthy like nine to nine
percent of the time. And even if I do end
up eating things that are not that great, they're still
on the relative scale of life great. Yes, they are
still okay for me, but it's not whether they're good
(18:41):
or bad for me. It's the fact that I feel
controlled by the food itself, and I actually never have
done like, I've never drunk alcohol, I've never taken drugs.
So my thing has always been food. My emotions are
released through eating happiness. I'm like, let's invite everyone over
and eat cake and sad.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
I'm like, I just want to have a cookie, and.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Any stress emotion, I'm like, I just need some chocolate,
I need some sugar, I need some something. And so
I've really been trying to help my mind be trained
out of that, but I honestly still really struggle with it.
I don't think I was thinking about this the other
day when I was writing the solo episode, because I'd
looked at myself in the moment and I was like,
really disappointed in parts of my body, and I was like, God,
(19:23):
how many years am I going to go through my
whole life?
Speaker 2 (19:26):
I've gone through.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
Eating consciously, but not in a conscious good way, in
like a oh, I'm gonna if I eat this, I
then have to work out like this tomorrow, Or if
I eat a whole pizza? Is there a bit of
guilt link to it? I realize that there's even though
I love food and I appreciate the way that it
fuels my body, I don't necessarily have the best relationship
with food. And I thought that the way my relationship
was with food was very normal because that's just all
(19:50):
I've experienced in my life.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
And so I think a.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Big part of my twenty twenty six is going to
be trying to release that negative relationship that I have
with food based on you know, guilt and fear and
associating my need to work out based on why.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
I eat, Like that's just not normal.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
And so yes, I stress ee, and I'm still working
on my relationship with food, and I will let you
know how that goes and how I navigate that this year.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Okay, a couple of self love questions. How do you
stop doubting yourself and practice self love?
Speaker 3 (20:28):
I'll give a short answer to this because I think
a lot of it comes with what I've said before,
But my short answer would be, do and give yourself
the evidence. Like just as you would fall in love
with someone seeing their actions in the same way, you're
only going to love yourself by showing yourself that you
put your money where your mouth is, put all your
cards on the table, you know, whatever, all those phrases are.
(20:49):
What I'm trying to say is you have to take action,
show yourself the evidence that you are worth the love
that you want to give yourself, and just keep doing that. Honestly,
it feels more complicated than it actually is. The reality
is how you'd want to fall in love with someone
is how you have to take the steps to fall
in love with yourself.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Okay, speaking directly to me, cool, thank you. Speaking of dating,
someone had a specific question, how do you start ruminating
over an ex after more than six months?
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Really depends how long you've been dating them for and
sometimes some relationships, you know, I always think of this
word some scaa, and it means little footprints, and it's
in regards to little footprints that are left in your
heart or in your body or in your mind of
the experiences that you've been through, And if you think
(21:50):
about it in that way, depending on how much of
an imprint this person has had in your life, whether
it was a difficult relationship, whether it was one that
was filled with so much love that it's really difficult
to let that go.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
There are so many reasons why someone may leave a deep.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Imprint into your life, and from my experience, I think
we kid ourselves into believing that if someone has left
that deepened imprint in your life, that you are just
going to forget them, that they're going to leave your
mind and you're never going to think about them ever again.
If that does happen, it's probably a sign that you
didn't really love them much in the first place. And
so I think it's okay to hold space, not full space,
(22:27):
but still to hold space for people that you've loved
along the way, just like we would have people who've
passed away in our life, just like we would have
people you know, friends that you no longer I have
friends that I no longer speak to you, haven't spoken
to you for ten years, but when I think about them,
I think about them so fondly, and same with past relationships,
and so I don't necessarily think that you have to
fully let go. I think what you do have to
do is separate the space that you're keeping for them,
(22:49):
maybe minimize the space that you're keeping for them, to
allow space for someone else to enter. I think waiting
for someone to completely leave.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Our mind, leave our heart.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
And only then I'll be able to move on, And
I'd actually think it might be unrealistic thing because from
everyone I've spoken to in my girlfriends, it's absolutely impossible.
They're still randomly will bring up their ex's name. They'll
still randomly talk about them, and that's part of relationships
in our life.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
So I don't know that's helpful.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
But yeah, I don't know whether it's realistic to completely,
you know, shut shut down and shut off from a
love that you had.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
That's so helpful. Okay, last question in this category and
then we'll move on to the last category. How do
you deal with self sabotage limiting beliefs and or struggling
with confidence.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Self sabotage? Sorry?
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Can I just say, it's like turning dark here and
it's only four twenty seven, and everyone, look, I have
my my phone is in Gajurai. Well basically it's my
grandparents underneath. And then I thought it's nice to have
Gajurai on the over the top because my grandma and
Grandad's poke Gauri. Anyway, four thirty, it's turning dark here
(24:01):
and as soon as I see the sun settling, my
body wants to shut down again.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
How do I deal with self sabotage. What was the
other one? Yep, yep and yep. I don't know whether that's.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Similar to what I've already said about the building confidence.
A big part of it is, honestly, like, you have
to believe that you deserve more. And the only way
you can believe you deserve more is by starting to
notice all the incredible things about yourself. And that's not
in an egotistical way. It can be in a wow, God,
it's given me all these gifts. The universe have given me,
all these gifts.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
That I have.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
How do I emphasize them? How do I expand them?
How do I show appreciation for them? That's the way
I got over it, honestly, by not seeing all the
things that have come into my life as mine, but
as like, Wow, what a gift, what a blessing that
these things are the qualities I have, even when it
comes to things like you know, for so much in
(24:58):
my life, and I'll be really honest if for so
much of life I used to be get told, oh my.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
God, your eyes, this your eyes, Your eyes, your eyes.
That's all I heard from a young age.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Because it's not common for people who are my skin
tone to have these eyes, And I used to think, Oh,
my god, what is the big deal when I was younger,
and then I realized they ended up becoming a topic
of conversation. And then I realized I was like, you
can either we can get ego about something like this,
or you can say, Wow, what beautiful, what a blessing
is I've received this in my life. How can I
use this in a way that's actually going to be useful?
(25:26):
How can I use this in a way that can
And whether it's your physical features, whether it's your mental
whether it's your mind and your intelligence, whether it's there's
so many things in our life that we get and
so one is starting to notice it, even if it
feels really egotistical, like it took me such a long
time for me to be like, oh, yeah, I guess
I like my eyes. I still feel weird saying it,
(25:47):
and then number one noticing it and then thinking not, oh,
this is mine and I deserve to have it, But
how grateful am I? And how can I utilize this
and appreciate it?
Speaker 2 (25:57):
And what does that look like?
Speaker 3 (25:59):
A lot of the time we set sabotage because we
don't have appreciation for what we have and so I
think the first step is recognizing what we have, and
the second step is showing appreciation for it, and then
we're less likely to self sabotage.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
That makes sense. Spirituality.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Question, what mantra do you constantly go to in times
of uncertainty?
Speaker 3 (26:19):
I'm assuming you mean like a like a phrase rather
than the mantra chance. So I'm going to say I
have a few. One is this too shall pass?
Speaker 2 (26:29):
I love that so much.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Nothing you can't handle will come before you. I have
a deep belief in that. And drink quarter remind your business.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
That's about it.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
How do you honor the memory of your grammar throughout
your days?
Speaker 2 (26:46):
One way I do is why I just showed you guys.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
I have a picture of my grandma and granddad as
my background on my phone, and that makes me so happy,
Like seeing her every single day.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Makes me so happy.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
I have I'm looking at it now, A whole board
that's filled with all of her incredible achievements and pictures
of her when she was younger and newspaper clippings that
she was in. Keeps her in the forefront of my
mind every single day. This probably not a day that
goes by without me thinking of her, And I love
that so much because then that means I think about
who she was, her qualities, and then I think about
(27:18):
how I want to Even subconsciously, I'm thinking how can
I embody her through my life? And I always used
to say this to people when they lost their grandparents
or lost anybody in their life that you know, like
their parents or grandparents.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
I would say, just know that.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
Even though they're not here physically, you carry them every
single day in who you are, in the person that
you choose to be every single day, in the qualities
that you have, in the way that you love others,
you have the opportunity to literally carry them with you.
And so I always remember the way that my grandma
loved on people like so much, and so I think
(27:56):
that's what I really try to try to bring about
in my day.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Lovely Okay, last category rapid fire and you actually have
to do a rapid fire Okay, one, two, three, guilty pleasure.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Pizza.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
How many tattoos do you have? I don't know, tiny
micro tattoos at least like twenty. What do you miss
most about Europe?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
The weather? I don't care what you will say.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
What do you use for shampoon conditioner right now, A
Vada favorite blush right now?
Speaker 3 (28:37):
Oh say they have these dewby drop things and also
oh lift tinted.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Favorite? Are you ada? Spice beyond ccf Assid Fatida gives
me all the flavor. What's your favorite most favorite meal?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
My Mom's anything? My mother makes me last one.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
What's the simple thing that brings you unexpected joy?
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Unexpected joy?
Speaker 3 (29:10):
You know what I'm looking at right now, a sunset
and it's giving me so much unexpected joy.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Actually that's expected. What's unexpected joy?
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Uk rap uk rap music gives me unexpected joy, you know,
and seeing me.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Every single day so much joy.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
Thank you so much for those questions. We're actually so
meaningful and made me reflect on so much in my
own life.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Sending all so much love and yeah, have a wonderful day.
How did you know Jay was the one?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
He was?
Speaker 3 (00:06):
I'm Radley d Wlukiah and on my podcast A Really
Good Cry, we embrace the messy and the beautiful, providing
a space for raw, un fielded conversations that celebrate vulnerability
and allow you to tune in to learn, connect and
find comfort together.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Helloa.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Already today we are going to be doing Q and
A because Larlay, my social media manager, is sitting here
and she collected some questions that you all had that
you wanted to ask me. Some about me, I assume,
some not about me, I hope, and I'm just gonna
go back and forth. I don't actually know what the
questions are, but Lovely Laala over here's going to ask
me them and I'm going to answer for you all.
(00:42):
Thank you all so much for sending in your questions,
so sweet of you. Very excited to do this. Handing
over to Larlay.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Hello, Hello, Okay, Rady, what's a mistake that you made
that ended up teaching you the most?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
She really threw me in the deepen. There a mistake
that I made.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Okay. I don't know whether this is the biggest mistake
that I made, but a mistake that I have made
throughout my life that I've learned from is constantly believing
that other people knew better for me than I did,
and really believing that I didn't have the capability of
making decisions.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
For myself in my life.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
And that went on from I don't know, from being
a we little toddler to probably into my late twenties.
It was something that I really learned from because it
took away my power, it took away my confidence. It
made me feel just not great about myself that I
didn't even know what I should be doing in my
own life, whether it was personal or professional in anything,
and so I felt like I just didn't know myself.
(01:42):
So I'd say that was a mistake that I made
over and over again, just not trusting in my own
ability to know who I am and make my own
life choices.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
So don't do that.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Just know that you are the best person in the
best position to make your own decisions for yourself.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Lovely, do I give feedback for each.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Raddie?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
How often do you actually cry? Oh?
Speaker 3 (02:06):
My god, how often do I actually cry? Well, Lolly
was here yesterday with me on a shoot and I
cried yesterday. So I'd say like a solid if not more,
but a solid once a week. Like, yeah, definitely a
solid once a week. Over the weekend, I watched something
cried watching it. Yesterday I was answering a question, cried
(02:27):
in that question. So yeah, I'm going to say fair
to say a solid once a week if not more
minimum the baseline is once a week and sometimes you
get a bonus as well.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
How did you know Jay was the one?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
He was calm in a chaotic world? You know, like
he calmed my nervous system, which I hadn't had before.
He definitely like soothed it in a very long term way.
Like it wasn't a oh yeah, he's a peaceful person,
It was a oh yeah. He makes me feel very
calm about my own life, supports me in ways that
(03:08):
I didn't realize I needed. Always made sure that he
had the opportunity to become my crutch, and he chose
not to. He chose to help me to find my
own feet. And I really appreciated that because men love
to be saviors and he didn't want to be one
of those. He wanted to be the person that lifted
me up and gave me my own two little feet
to walk on, because I was quite lost when we
(03:30):
end up getting married. So yeah, I think there were
multiple things. But I also think you don't necessarily even
know that when you get married. You learn it as
you go along. And some days I may want to
punch him in the face, not very often, but sometimes,
and other times I'm like, oh, yeah, this was a
really good decision. And so I think it ebbs and
flows so much, and I'm sure as years go on
(03:53):
you kind of go through different phases of your relationship.
But I think the stability, the calming of your nervous system,
and the support, and also the foundation for us was
just that our spiritual values were so met and I
knew that I wanted to be with someone whose main
priority was loving God and with our relationships loving each
other through the love of God. That was a big,
(04:14):
big pull for me. That's something that I knew I
wanted in my life, and everything else was in addition.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
And so that's that.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
I'm gonna keep it short and sweet.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
How do you handle differences of opinion with your spouse.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Well, I'm a bit sasy and I like to be
really stubborn.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
I don't like it.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
I just am really stubborn, and so I struggle with
that because sometimes I know I'm in the wrong, but
I still just have to keep fighting my corner. How
do I handle differences now, I've tried to, even if
in the moment I get really agitated or I can
be a bit sassy, within a couple of minutes, I
(04:55):
try to calm myself and be strategic. Sometimes I need
space and I need time to think about my response,
and so I'll take that time. And luckily we're both
people who don't really like arguing, and so we'll try
our best to come at this with love rather than
the desire to be right most of the time, and
(05:17):
try to come together to have a resolving conversation rather
than I am right conversation. And usually if we both
come with that intention, it resolves much faster. I also
think I'm the type of person and so is he,
where we just don't hold grudges that much, and so
even if we're annoyed at something like an hour ago,
we let go of things really fast. Both of us
are people with friends and family. We let go of
(05:39):
things so fast, and I think that's something we've trained
ourselves to be so that life just doesn't feel so heavy.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
How do you maintain individuality while being in a relationship.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
I find that.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Question really interesting because I never really felt like I
lost my individuality in the relationship, and I think it's
because we both had such different personalities. In so many ways,
we had different personalities and so we couldn't really become
the same person or feel like we lost ourselves in
each other. Oh, I'll tell you a big reason. That
is because neither of us expected the other person to
(06:15):
compromise based on what we wanted. And so I'll give
you a really minor example. I knew that family is
really important to me, and I wanted to travel back
and forth from London and LA to spend time in
my family. Did I expect him to do that all
the time with me when that wasn't his priority. No.
Jay has a purpose and a desire of what he
wants to do in his life, and that may mean
(06:36):
traveling across the world to speak in different places and
do things. Does he expect me to go with him? No?
And so I think the thing I've learned from him
on how to remain individuals and how to support each
other is allow the person to do what they love
doing and that's going to make them a better person.
As soon as you start trying to control or dictate
how the other person lives their life, it is just
(06:58):
asking for failure, just asking for an argument. It's just
asking for that other person to not do what makes
them happy, and then the relationship isn't happy. And so
I think it's supporting each other in where you want,
what you want to do and trying to allow that
person to live a life that may be different to
the way that you want to live it as long
as it doesn't jeopardize your relationship in any way.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Moving on to a different type of relationship, how do
you overcome friendship breakups?
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Yeah, oh this is a hard one for sure. I
have been through a few friendship breakups myself. How do
I navigate it at first? You know, when I was younger,
I used to really take it to heart. I would
try everything. I would cling on to the threads left
of that relationship even if there were none left, Even
though even if they had been burnt completely, I was
(07:48):
still try and hold on to it. And it just
made me realize a force friendship a forced relationship, but
force anything is never a good thing, and sometimes when
you hold onto things for longer than necessary, it actually
makes the relationship far worse than just letting it go.
And I can obviously say that in hindsight, it's harder
in the moment, but I remember, I'll tell you one
(08:08):
story that really helped me to see the perspective on that.
I had a friend that i'd known since I was sixteen,
at the age of twenty four, so a good eight
years I think. Yeah, at the age of twenty four,
we really fell apart. We just were not agreeing on things.
We had a disagreement, didn't feel like we had much
(08:29):
left to have a friendship on, so we decided to
take a break. Well, we thought we were just not
going to be friends at all, so we decided that
we just wouldn't talk to each other. Two years later
or something, something happened in her life, she reached out
to me again. We end up having a conversation, and
since then we reconnected and we've been friends again. I've
had the same thing with friends that I've had breaks
(08:50):
from for like five years at a time as well.
Sometimes it's okay to let things go, to allow yourselves
to grow and change in a way that brings you
back together in a better and different way. And I've
had examples of that in my life that has made
me have faith in that. But also, you know, relationships
are hard enough. Your friendship should be easy. They should
be the thing that you don't have to put too
(09:11):
much effort into it.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
It's not difficult, it's not tiring.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
We have enough of that in our relationships that were
with people that we're family with, Like you have to
try and make a relationship. You have to try and
build your relationship with your parents, your sisters, your siblings,
you're related to them. But your friends are the people
that you choose, right, and so.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Why make that difficult?
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Okay, moving on to some career questions. How do you
organize your day and motivate yourself as a business owner
or someone who's self employed.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yeah, so I actually became self employed. So I worked
in a hospital for a while when I lived in London,
and then I became self employed when I was so
I'm going to say approximately nine years ago I became employed.
And our first structure was so difficult. Trying to plan
my days out was so difficult because time is just there,
(10:07):
you know, like no one's telling you have to do anything.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
No one's forcing you to.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
You've got no deadlines, no timelines, because I was so
used to having other people giving me them. And so
what I learned is the first thing you have to
do is create a routine and structure in your life.
And how do you do that, Well, you literally write
our timetable. We function best when we have routine in
our life, and so create your personal routine, your professional routine,
(10:33):
and try and figure out in the day where that
all fits in. Make sure you have some sort of
activity in your life that has to be a must
for a physical body, for your mental body, some sort
of practice that feeds your soul during the day. And
then break up your day into First of all, break
up your goals or the plan that you're trying to
make into into smaller steps, and then just start fitting
them into your days, into your weeks, into your months.
(10:56):
I think planning is really important, but I think doing
is almost more important. And so I just started, you know,
I started filming things, I started editing things. Sometimes I
would do two things in a day, sometimes it would before,
but I had to start doing things to know how
much I could even fit into a day. And so
I would say, obviously, plan, but just start going, Like,
make sure you don't wait too long to keep planning
(11:17):
and perfecting before you get going.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
How do you overcome the fear of failure.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
By realizing that failure isn't a negative thing, by realizing
that failure is not an obscure thing that only some
people go through. Every single person goes to failure in
some way.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
In their life.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
And we've been taught to demonize failure like it's something
negative that happens in our life. But if you believe
that everything happens in your life for a reason, which
I strongly started believing in, then you know that there
is a reason why that happened, whether it is the
flight that you missed, whether it is the job.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
That you didn't get.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Think about all the times where things were missed in
your life and you were so upset about it, but
it was actually saving you from something or saving you
for something better.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
And I really believe in that.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
The amount of times I've heard that I missed the flight,
but something happened on that fly, The amount of times
that I've not got to somewhere because there was even traffic,
and I realized that there'd been an accident on the
way that I was meant to be going all the time,
that I didn't get the partnerships that I wanted, and
then I realized something happened with that brand, Like, there's
so many times where that's happened in my life. And
(12:26):
even if it feels like a failure, I think you
have to realize that winds and failures are just part
of one cycle and it's a totally natural way to
go through life. We can't just have wins throughout our
whole life. That's not how it works. And so coming
to terms with the fact that failure failure is just
a part of life is so important, and then also
having a bigger picture and a bigger perspective of Wow,
(12:48):
I only know what I see in my life. I
have no idea what the bigger plan is. I have
no idea what's in store for me, And so believing
in more than what you just see.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
How do you handle creative blocks or burnout?
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Creative blocks or burnout? How do I deal with that? Oh,
I've had creative blocks and burner. I feel like I'm
going through it right now. To be honest, we have
had a really unexpected year, and we've had to really
cram lots of things into the year in the time
that I have had, and sometimes I'm like, oh, I
feel like I've got nothing left in me. And you
know what that is a sign of to me, either
(13:26):
that I need some sort of rest, but even more so,
it's a sign for me that I need to learn
and need to reabsorb myself in some sort of study,
some sort of learning, observing real life, being present in
the moment. Most of the time, we end up having
creative block. Creativity is around us at all times, in
every single moment, in conversations, in our experiences, in nature
around us. The time that we feel like we have
(13:48):
a creativity block or like we've got no inspiration is
when we stop noticing. As soon as you stop noticing
life around you is when you get bored and when
you feel like you've got nothing left in you. And
so there's always something learn. We have unlimited amount of
things in this world to learn. Whether it's about trees,
whether it's about I don't know, neuroscience, you know, we've
got plenty of things that we can learn and be
(14:10):
inspired by. And so the moment you stop learning is
the moment you become stagnant and you feel like there's
nothing left. And also this idea of repetitive things feeling boring,
But sometimes it's less about the repetition and more about
the fact that you're not noticing the differences in your day.
You're only focusing on the things that are the same.
(14:31):
And so I'd say open your eyes a little wider,
be a little bit more present, and start to find
the little things in your day that feel magical that
didn't before.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
What's the hardest part of your work?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Hardest part of my work?
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Honestly, sometimes for me I struggle with because a lot
of my work is online. It's just the fear of judgment,
which is something that I really work through on a
daily basis, or at least try to, whether it's a
physical appearance, whether it's the way people have perceived me,
whether it's the way people have misunderstood me. Like there's
(15:12):
so many things that you put yourself into by doing
the line of work that I do, But I also
always remind myself that it is just part and parcel
of it. Like I can't choose to be online and
not have that as be part of it. It just
doesn't happen in that way, and so I'd say that's
a really difficult part. And then also feeling like you're
being original. I think that's another thing that I find difficult.
(15:34):
It's you're constantly seeing all these trends, You're constantly seeing
people produce like all this amazing content. You're like, I
wish I could do stuff like that, and I wish
my content looked like that. And everything's always about being
better and better and better, and so what I'm trying
to do instead is do less, but do it well.
And that's something that I've been trying to practice this year,
but hope to do better next year.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Moving into more of a self reflection and growth category.
But off the back of comparing yourself to others, a
lot of people had a question about do you ever
compare your journey to others and how do you stop? Do? I?
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Of course I do.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
I wouldn't say I ever have this desire to be
like the best of anything. I've never really been that
type of person where I've been driven to have the
number one spot for something or like really be the
best at something. It's never really been my mentality. But
definitely when it comes to. You know, I've realized it's
(16:32):
so easy and to appreciate someone's success when it's far
from yours. Like it's so easy to say, oh, Wow,
this person who is an incredible dancer. They are so
incredible and I love the content that they do, and
it's so easy to feel joy for that person. The
hardest thing to feel joy about are the people who
(16:53):
are doing very similar things to yours. And that's when
you know whether you have ultimate comf and what you
do or whether you still have some insecurities about it.
And so I ever and flow through that. Sometimes when
I feel so rooted in my purpose and I know
that it's not about those things, and I know that
it's about how many people I get to help and
whether I'm having fun and whether I'm happy in the
(17:16):
work that I'm doing, I feel like I can really
look past that. But sometimes when I'm not feeling great
in the things that I'm producing or not good in myself,
I notice the jealousy and the judgment kind of peers
piercing through my little bubble that I try to keep
around me. And so what I've learned to do is
see my jealousy as signals and signs of things that
(17:37):
I want in my life, but also of things that
I want to improve on in my life. And so
I think it's okay to have feelings of jealousy. I
think it's a part of our human experience of thinking, Oh,
I wish I had this in my life, or I
wish I could do this in my life. But it's
really how you take that jealousy and what you turn into.
So either you can turn it into spite and despise
(17:59):
for that person, which would be unuseful, or you can
turn into a moment of reflection and noticing that, oh,
these are the things that I might want in life.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
How can I make that happen.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Have you dealt with stress eating and or how do
you release negative energy after a tough day?
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Oh my god?
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Okay, So I my vice in life is definitely food
and I haven't and people always get surprised at that
because they're like, oh, you eat so healthy. And the
thing is, I do beat healthy like nine to nine
percent of the time. And even if I do end
up eating things that are not that great, they're still
on the relative scale of life great. Yes, they are
still okay for me, but it's not whether they're good
(18:41):
or bad for me. It's the fact that I feel
controlled by the food itself, and I actually never have
done like, I've never drunk alcohol, I've never taken drugs.
So my thing has always been food. My emotions are
released through eating happiness. I'm like, let's invite everyone over
and eat cake and sad.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
I'm like, I just want to have a cookie, and.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Any stress emotion, I'm like, I just need some chocolate,
I need some sugar, I need some something. And so
I've really been trying to help my mind be trained
out of that, but I honestly still really struggle with it.
I don't think I was thinking about this the other
day when I was writing the solo episode, because I'd
looked at myself in the moment and I was like,
really disappointed in parts of my body, and I was like, God,
(19:23):
how many years am I going to go through my
whole life?
Speaker 2 (19:26):
I've gone through.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
Eating consciously, but not in a conscious good way, in
like a oh, I'm gonna if I eat this, I
then have to work out like this tomorrow, Or if
I eat a whole pizza? Is there a bit of
guilt link to it? I realize that there's even though
I love food and I appreciate the way that it
fuels my body, I don't necessarily have the best relationship
with food. And I thought that the way my relationship
was with food was very normal because that's just all
(19:50):
I've experienced in my life.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
And so I think a.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Big part of my twenty twenty six is going to
be trying to release that negative relationship that I have
with food based on you know, guilt and fear and
associating my need to work out based on why.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
I eat, Like that's just not normal.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
And so yes, I stress ee, and I'm still working
on my relationship with food, and I will let you
know how that goes and how I navigate that this year.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Okay, a couple of self love questions. How do you
stop doubting yourself and practice self love?
Speaker 3 (20:28):
I'll give a short answer to this because I think
a lot of it comes with what I've said before,
But my short answer would be, do and give yourself
the evidence. Like just as you would fall in love
with someone seeing their actions in the same way, you're
only going to love yourself by showing yourself that you
put your money where your mouth is, put all your
cards on the table, you know, whatever, all those phrases are.
(20:49):
What I'm trying to say is you have to take action,
show yourself the evidence that you are worth the love
that you want to give yourself, and just keep doing that. Honestly,
it feels more complicated than it actually is. The reality
is how you'd want to fall in love with someone
is how you have to take the steps to fall
in love with yourself.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Okay, speaking directly to me, cool, thank you. Speaking of dating,
someone had a specific question, how do you start ruminating
over an ex after more than six months?
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Really depends how long you've been dating them for and
sometimes some relationships, you know, I always think of this
word some scaa, and it means little footprints, and it's
in regards to little footprints that are left in your
heart or in your body or in your mind of
the experiences that you've been through, And if you think
(21:50):
about it in that way, depending on how much of
an imprint this person has had in your life, whether
it was a difficult relationship, whether it was one that
was filled with so much love that it's really difficult
to let that go.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
There are so many reasons why someone may leave a deep.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Imprint into your life, and from my experience, I think
we kid ourselves into believing that if someone has left
that deepened imprint in your life, that you are just
going to forget them, that they're going to leave your
mind and you're never going to think about them ever again.
If that does happen, it's probably a sign that you
didn't really love them much in the first place. And
so I think it's okay to hold space, not full space,
(22:27):
but still to hold space for people that you've loved
along the way, just like we would have people who've
passed away in our life, just like we would have
people you know, friends that you no longer I have
friends that I no longer speak to you, haven't spoken
to you for ten years, but when I think about them,
I think about them so fondly, and same with past relationships,
and so I don't necessarily think that you have to
fully let go. I think what you do have to
do is separate the space that you're keeping for them,
(22:49):
maybe minimize the space that you're keeping for them, to
allow space for someone else to enter. I think waiting
for someone to completely leave.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Our mind, leave our heart.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
And only then I'll be able to move on, And
I'd actually think it might be unrealistic thing because from
everyone I've spoken to in my girlfriends, it's absolutely impossible.
They're still randomly will bring up their ex's name. They'll
still randomly talk about them, and that's part of relationships
in our life.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
So I don't know that's helpful.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
But yeah, I don't know whether it's realistic to completely,
you know, shut shut down and shut off from a
love that you had.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
That's so helpful. Okay, last question in this category and
then we'll move on to the last category. How do
you deal with self sabotage limiting beliefs and or struggling
with confidence.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Self sabotage? Sorry?
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Can I just say, it's like turning dark here and
it's only four twenty seven, and everyone, look, I have
my my phone is in Gajurai. Well basically it's my
grandparents underneath. And then I thought it's nice to have
Gajurai on the over the top because my grandma and
Grandad's poke Gauri. Anyway, four thirty, it's turning dark here
(24:01):
and as soon as I see the sun settling, my
body wants to shut down again.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
How do I deal with self sabotage. What was the
other one? Yep, yep and yep. I don't know whether that's.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Similar to what I've already said about the building confidence.
A big part of it is, honestly, like, you have
to believe that you deserve more. And the only way
you can believe you deserve more is by starting to
notice all the incredible things about yourself. And that's not
in an egotistical way. It can be in a wow, God,
it's given me all these gifts. The universe have given me,
all these gifts.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
That I have.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
How do I emphasize them? How do I expand them?
How do I show appreciation for them? That's the way
I got over it, honestly, by not seeing all the
things that have come into my life as mine, but
as like, Wow, what a gift, what a blessing that
these things are the qualities I have, even when it
comes to things like you know, for so much in
(24:58):
my life, and I'll be really honest if for so
much of life I used to be get told, oh my.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
God, your eyes, this your eyes, Your eyes, your eyes.
That's all I heard from a young age.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Because it's not common for people who are my skin
tone to have these eyes, And I used to think, Oh,
my god, what is the big deal when I was younger,
and then I realized they ended up becoming a topic
of conversation. And then I realized I was like, you
can either we can get ego about something like this,
or you can say, Wow, what beautiful, what a blessing
is I've received this in my life. How can I
use this in a way that's actually going to be useful?
(25:26):
How can I use this in a way that can
And whether it's your physical features, whether it's your mental
whether it's your mind and your intelligence, whether it's there's
so many things in our life that we get and
so one is starting to notice it, even if it
feels really egotistical, like it took me such a long
time for me to be like, oh, yeah, I guess
I like my eyes. I still feel weird saying it,
(25:47):
and then number one noticing it and then thinking not, oh,
this is mine and I deserve to have it, But
how grateful am I? And how can I utilize this
and appreciate it?
Speaker 2 (25:57):
And what does that look like?
Speaker 3 (25:59):
A lot of the time we set sabotage because we
don't have appreciation for what we have and so I
think the first step is recognizing what we have, and
the second step is showing appreciation for it, and then
we're less likely to self sabotage.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
That makes sense. Spirituality.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Question, what mantra do you constantly go to in times
of uncertainty?
Speaker 3 (26:19):
I'm assuming you mean like a like a phrase rather
than the mantra chance. So I'm going to say I
have a few. One is this too shall pass?
Speaker 2 (26:29):
I love that so much.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Nothing you can't handle will come before you. I have
a deep belief in that. And drink quarter remind your business.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
That's about it.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
How do you honor the memory of your grammar throughout
your days?
Speaker 2 (26:46):
One way I do is why I just showed you guys.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
I have a picture of my grandma and granddad as
my background on my phone, and that makes me so happy,
Like seeing her every single day.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Makes me so happy.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
I have I'm looking at it now, A whole board
that's filled with all of her incredible achievements and pictures
of her when she was younger and newspaper clippings that
she was in. Keeps her in the forefront of my
mind every single day. This probably not a day that
goes by without me thinking of her, And I love
that so much because then that means I think about
who she was, her qualities, and then I think about
(27:18):
how I want to Even subconsciously, I'm thinking how can
I embody her through my life? And I always used
to say this to people when they lost their grandparents
or lost anybody in their life that you know, like
their parents or grandparents.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
I would say, just know that.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
Even though they're not here physically, you carry them every
single day in who you are, in the person that
you choose to be every single day, in the qualities
that you have, in the way that you love others,
you have the opportunity to literally carry them with you.
And so I always remember the way that my grandma
loved on people like so much, and so I think
(27:56):
that's what I really try to try to bring about
in my day.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Lovely Okay, last category rapid fire and you actually have
to do a rapid fire Okay, one, two, three, guilty pleasure.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Pizza.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
How many tattoos do you have? I don't know, tiny
micro tattoos at least like twenty. What do you miss
most about Europe?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
The weather? I don't care what you will say.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
What do you use for shampoon conditioner right now, A
Vada favorite blush right now?
Speaker 3 (28:37):
Oh say they have these dewby drop things and also
oh lift tinted.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Favorite? Are you ada? Spice beyond ccf Assid Fatida gives
me all the flavor. What's your favorite most favorite meal?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
My Mom's anything? My mother makes me last one.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
What's the simple thing that brings you unexpected joy?
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Unexpected joy?
Speaker 3 (29:10):
You know what I'm looking at right now, a sunset
and it's giving me so much unexpected joy.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Actually that's expected. What's unexpected joy?
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Uk rap uk rap music gives me unexpected joy, you know,
and seeing me.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Every single day so much joy.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
Thank you so much for those questions. We're actually so
meaningful and made me reflect on so much in my
own life.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Sending all so much love and yeah, have a wonderful day.
Host
Radhi Devlukia
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