June 24, 2025 • 26 mins
Do you ever feel like your life is on autopilot?
Could romanticizing life be the key to feeling connected?
Are you mistaking peace for boredom?
Are you stuck in a cycle of waiting for the “big moments” to finally feel alive?
In this episode of A Really Good Cry, Radhi Devlukia dives into the trending idea of “romanticizing your life”—and why it’s so much more than an aesthetic. Sparked by a friend’s comment that life felt “too still,” Radhi offers a thoughtful exploration of what boredom really means and how it might be a signal from your soul, not just your schedule.
Drawing on wisdom from The Daily Stoic, ancient Sanskrit philosophy, and her own life, Radhi shares how you can shift your perspective and reconnect to the joy, purpose, and peace already present in your daily rhythms.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why boredom is often misdiagnosed—and what it might really be telling you
- How to build a life you’re excited to wake up to without needing big changes
- Rituals and small sensory shifts to bring presence and magic into ordinary moments
- How to reframe "boredom" as peace, stillness, or sacred routine
- The powerful difference between consuming and creating
- Practices to cultivate curiosity and emotional presence
Whether you’re in a season of stillness or just looking to reconnect to your spark, this episode is your gentle reminder: you don’t need a new life—just a new way of seeing the one you have.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm rather Dablukiah, and on my podcast A Really Good Cry,
we embrace the messy and the beautiful, providing a space
for celebrate vulnerability and allow you to tune in to learn,
connect and find comfort together. Hey everyone, and welcome back
to this week's episode of A Really Good Cry. I
hope that you have had such a wonderful, wonderful week
(00:21):
so far. It has been absolutely glorious outside where I am.
The sun has been shining, and it makes such a
big difference to your me, doesn't it. This spring, summer
season or the in between that's happening right now has
been pretty magical. So I hope you guys are enjoying
it too, wherever you are in the world. But to
be honest, whatever weather it is, I generally tend to
love it. Rain, sunshine, bit of snow, you know, all
(00:43):
of it. I really appreciate it. Now. I don't know
whether you guys have seen this romanticizing your life TikTok trend.
It's basically people doing everyday little things but making them
esthetically pleasing or showing the moments of joy that they
feel in them. And every single time I see them
pop up, it's such a good reminder to me that
everyday life is actually so special, but sometimes just get
(01:05):
so used to them and they feel mundane, and they
feel boring, and they feel so monotonous. And so I
love the idea of romanticizing the everyday life that we live,
because why would we want to go through majority of
our life feeling bored or fed up or not excited
by the life that we're living. And so I thought
(01:25):
it's a really good reminder to us to do that,
to really take the moments in life that we take
for granted that we don't even notice, and start noticing them,
start appreciating them, start valuing them, start seeing them in
a completely different way, and changing our perspective of it,
because not for anybody else, but simply because that's what
(01:46):
you deserve. That's the life that you deserve to have,
a life that you are excited by, a life that
you enjoy. And sometimes people think that means changing your life,
but actually I think it's more about the noticing and
more about appreciating what already is. And I think there
is a way to do that with everything if you
(02:08):
change your mindset and allow for it. I actually got
a text from a friend this morning that inspired the
topic of this episode. She said, I don't know how
to be bored, Like, I really don't know what people
do on a Sunday. Life feels too still, especially when
I'm on my own. And you know what, I recently
read this in Ryan Holiday's book this week called The
Daily Stoic. And by the way, this book is so incredible.
(02:31):
It has inspired so many meaningful conversations with other people,
but also this journey of introspection in my own mind,
these different reflections I've been having and the thoughts that
I've been having, And honestly, it is such a great
thought provoker, and that's what I would define it as.
It's got all these little moments and little paragraphs. You
(02:52):
only have to read a page a day, but in
that one page I have gained so much every single day,
and so obviously definitely go and check it out and
give it a read. Is actually a book that I
have gifted out to a lot of people since I've
been reading it, and they really appreciated it. But this
week I read a page that said, see the world
like a poet and an artist. It takes an artist
(03:13):
I to see that the end of life is not
unlike a ripe fruit falling from its tree. It takes
a poet to notice the way baking bread splits in places,
and those cracks, while not intended, is the baker's art
that catches our eye and serves to stir our appetite
and find a metaphor in them. There is clarity and
(03:34):
joy in seeing what others can't see, in finding grace
and harmony in places others overlook. Isn't that far better
than seeing the world as some dark place. I loved
that paragraph so much. What it really reiterated to me
is that we get to choose how we see things.
(03:54):
And you know, I mentioned the seasons and the weather before.
I used to despise and I was like, oh, I
get all wet, and I don't like feeling damp. And
you know, I really used to demonize the different weathers.
When it wasn't sunny or it wasn't crisp outside, I
would feel so disappointed. But then when I chose to
(04:14):
notice those rain drops, and when I felt rain on
a really hot day and it was cooling on my skin,
and when I felt the snow under my feet after
not experiencing it for a really long time, or when
you see the mist in the air on a foggy day,
you know, when you start seeing these things differently, I
was like, wow, this is so beautiful actually, and how
(04:36):
magical that we get to experience all these different seasons,
not just one, because I've been to places where they
really don't experience seasons and it's quite sad actually, And
so it was such a great reminder to me that
we had the opportunity to see the world as a poet,
to see the world like an artist, and experience it
in that way every single day, no matter what it
(04:59):
is in our life, and that feels really empowering. And
it makes me think that we can experience our normal,
day to day lives in different ways every single day,
and how fun would that be to be able to
experience the same day but differently constantly. And I think
romanticizing your life is a conscious choice to see beauty
and meaning in the every day, not just waiting for
(05:19):
those big moments, but really finding the joy and magic
in the mundane daily things that you do. And you know,
if you only wait for the bigger things, the huge gestures,
or the big moments to feel those sparks, they seriously
will be few and far between, and they're only then
save for special occasions. But why should we only feel
sparks in those moments? If we could feel that every
(05:41):
single day, why would we choose to only feel it
in those moments when we could feel it every single day.
What if you could just reframe your vision and shift
from being on autopilot daily to being in awe and
appreciation every single day for the things that we actually
experience all the time. That means we get to feel
those sparks more often. There is this beautiful Sanscrit word
(06:04):
called rittha. It's the idea of natural order, or daily rhythm.
The sun rises, the sunsets, the leaves fall, the leaves grow.
You breathe in, you breathe out. And just as nature
requires a daily rhythm to keep order, we do too,
the daily grind of waking up, brushing our teeth, cooking,
(06:25):
folding clothes, getting your kids ready for school, whatever it is,
it is your individual rhythm, It is your ritual. And
so the this word ritual comes from this Sanskrit word rittha.
And so is it really boring or is it just familiar, predictable, safe, peaceful?
So sometimes I think we really mistake what boring actually means,
(06:46):
because sometimes I think what we mean by boring are
those other words like familiar, like predictable, like safe, like peaceful,
and what even is the word boring? Boring isn't a
fact or a defined action. It is purely a perception.
It is what we decide to label a moment when
it doesn't give us stimulation or novelty or immediate reward.
(07:06):
And the thing is, if you end up building your
tolerance of stimulation, when you end up stimulating yourself constantly,
you constantly are scrolling, You're constantly seeking excitement, You're constantly
on these roller coasters of unpredictability in your life, and
you're just always on this high and you're seeking the
next thing and the next thing and the next thing.
The problem is, the more you do that, the more
(07:28):
likely you are to receive or perceive the moments in
between of repetition or stillness as boredom, because you're creating
this unrealistic bar for stimulation that is actually not meant
to be how our life is lived. Those moments in
between the excitement, the silence in between the songs and
you're playing them in the car the repetitive days between
(07:51):
the weekends essentially feel like a drag. And if you
think about it, most people survive their week to live
for the weekend. And I get that, you know, you
get your time off, you get a moment to yourself.
But that means you are literally enjoying two out of
seven of your days, two out of seven days of
the week. That's all you are enjoying, which is twenty
(08:13):
seven percent of your whole entire life. And that seems
really really sad to only enjoy twenty seven percent of
our life. No, that cannot be. That is not what
life is supposed to be like. And so when you
think about it, what is the opposite of a life
without patterns, without these rhythms, it would be chaos, the
opposite of stability, the opposite of patterns, the opposite of rhythms,
(08:36):
the opposite of ritual is actually chaos. The thing is,
when you get used to this feeling of chaos, you
also get used to this feeling which a company is chaos,
which is uncertainty or a state of anxiety. So we
don't really want the opposite of boredom. We're really just
seeking but unsure what it is. We are seeking. I
think sometimes we say bored as an easy word to
(08:58):
use to describe this feeling that we're not used to,
and that's where I think emotional vocabulary and emotional intelligence
really comes into play and is so important knowing how
to identify what we are feeling and the words to
match that. So bored could be uninspired, discontent, uninterested, sad
could be disappointed, disheartened, or lonely. You know, exploring your
(09:21):
feelings and naming them can help you really identify what
you actually want to do in that moment, or the
action that is required of you becomes much clearer. I
personally think that this feeling of boredom happens when our
brain starts to crave novelty or change or a challenge,
or our attention is not fully engaged. So really we
(09:41):
could also call that lack of presence, or that we
are disconnected from the meaning in the moment. And so
nothing is innately labeled boring. Nothing is born as boring
or created as boring. It is purely in our own
judgment of something that makes it that. So if it's
in our own judgment that makes something, how do we
(10:01):
reframe that? How do we rewrite that story. It is
what you think it is. So what if your moments
of boredom you can change into moments of peace or
moments of comfort, or moments of space or moments of time,
moments of creation or reflection or calm or just being.
What if you were able to change that narrative and
(10:22):
start speaking those words instead of bored. Let's just take
that word out of our vocabulary, Like, if you take
anything away from this, if you are someone who feels
bored regularly, let's just take that vocabulary, that word out
of our language, and try and use these other words
to help us differentiate between the two and what we
are really feeling. I read a quote that said, very
(10:45):
little is needed to make a happy life. It is
all in your way of thinking, And honestly, isn't that true.
I go into this really terrible habit of rushing through everything,
whether it was meals or mornings, even moments of stillness.
I was thinking about the next thing and the next
thing and the next thing I had to do. But
something really shifted when I started slowing down and trying
(11:07):
to treat the smallest parts of my day like they mattered,
Because I realized I was feeling really dissatisfied, and I
was thinking, I was doing all these things. I'm accomplishing
quite a lot during the day. I am so busy, busy, busy,
busy all the time. So why am I feeling so dissatisfied?
And I realized there was actually this lack of appreciation
(11:27):
for the day that I had had, and a lack
of presence and finding meaning in those moments, and so
it literally changed everything. And so from my experience after
making this mindset shift, I realized boredom does not exist
when you are forever looking at the world with the
desire and intention to appreciate and notice, and so much
(11:48):
of joy and lack of boredom is simply the practice
of noticing what you don't notice, you cannot appreciate. And so,
whether it's seeing the sun or feeling on my skin,
thank you so much, Sunshine for giving us and the
plants and the world around me life. You are so magnificent, Sunshine.
(12:10):
Or when I see someone on the street and give
them a big smile and they smile back at me,
I think, Wow, how lovely was that person? And it
completely changes my mood. Or when I see a flower
instead of thinking, Ah, that's nice. I think, Oh, my goodness,
how intricate and incredible Mother nature is to have all
these different species and all these different flowers, and all
(12:31):
the different varieties of this one thing, this one thing
we've called flowers. Look at all the differences there are
in each one of them. And actually, most of the
time I can't even contain it in my mind because
I'm genuinely in such awe, and I say out loud
with so much excitement. I mean, you might pass a
hundred flowers every single day, but do you really see them?
You might do three loads of washing a week, but
(12:52):
how does the fresh laundry smell? You can add essential oils,
and honestly, it'll be such a good treat. I do
that in every moment. I can get just spray on
all those essential oils, and it changes the way that
I even experienced. That you might see the same people
every day and have the same conversations over and over again,
but have you tried asking a new question? The fact
(13:13):
is the world is magnificent. The world is a place
where we can forever, explore, forever experience without this feeling
of boredom. But everything can feel small and insignificant until
you choose to expand them through your attention, your curiosity,
and finding meaning in those moments. If I think about it,
(13:36):
when I was writing this, I honestly couldn't remember the
last time I thought, oh, I am so bored. I
don't even think whether that thoughts come into my mind,
maybe when I was younger, or actually I do remember
thinking I was bored when I first moved to New
York City, because I was constantly thinking, now, what do
I do? Because I had no purpose, no motivation, and
(13:57):
no reason for even being there. For the fact that
obviously Jay was there for his work, but I didn't
feel like I had my purpose there. But really what
I was feeling was lost and in need of direction
and the feeling of being in use. And so I
just started to study and explore and try different things
out and find things that actually fueled me instead of
sitting at home and just watching movie after movie or
(14:19):
show after show, which by the way, in itself, is
so boring, even if it feels like momentary upliftment. And so,
if I really think about what has saved me from
this idea of boredom, it has to be curiosity and exploration.
If you're always asking, you're always learning, and if you're
always choosing to notice, then you are constantly in awe
(14:42):
of the world. And so if I really think about
what has saved me from this idea of boredom, it
has to be curiosity and exploration. If you're asking questions,
you're always learning, and if you're always choosing to notice,
then you're in constant awe of the world around you.
And then there's no space left for this dull feeling
of boredom because to some degree, even the mundane things
(15:02):
become exciting and stimulating to the mind. And you know,
those days, those days that feel the same day in
day out, actually give me a chance to feel stability.
Stability leads to the feeling of safety. In safety, I
have this ability to soften, and when I soften, I
have this ability to tap into my creativity, whether it's
(15:23):
daydreaming in the shower, because you definitely aren't daydreaming in
the shower when your mind is chaotic. And I get
so much clarity in those days because there's no loud distractions.
There's a regulation, which is what the nervous system needs
to thrive, and so boredom isn't actually the absence of
things to do. It's the absence of connection to what
you're doing, because you can be extremely busy and still
(15:46):
feel this dullness of boredom deep down. So it's really
not about many actions, it's about the connection to those actions.
My life has obviously changed a lot since I was
a child, since I was even a teenager, since I
was in my twenties. My love is changed drastically in
ways that I wasn't even expecting it to. But when
I think about my day to day life, I have
(16:08):
such a regular schedule. I do do same thing, if
not similar, every single day. I work out at the
same time, I eat at the same times, I sleep
at the same times, and most of the things in
between are quite monotonois. I write my podcast episodes, I'll
record them, I'll write my newsletter, I'll have meetings with
my team. And so I wrote this scorte by Leo
Tol's toy that said, I think that's how you say
(16:30):
his name. Boredom is simply the desire for desires, a
feeling of a liveness to remember we are actually alive,
and what makes us feel alive Inspiration, connection, excitement, and purpose.
But often when we feel bored, we end not filling
it with things that don't truly meet that feeling, but
cover it up, usually with overstimulation or destruction, which means
(16:53):
eventually that dull feeling of boredom will keep popping back
up in the moments of stillness. It's not that we
want a specific thing, we just want something to want.
And if you think about it, boredom is actually a signal.
It is a signal that we are disconnected from our
deeper purpose, that we're disconnected from our curiosity or our
(17:13):
inspiration in that moment, because you could choose to scroll
in that moment, but as soon as you stop, you'll
go back to that feeling, that same bored feeling, which
is a good way to know if you've actually found
the thing that solves boredom. It's like having a backache
and taking medications for indigestion. It's not going to help
the problem, is it. And so you can keep trying
to cover something up, you can keep trying to do
(17:35):
temporary fixes, but really, what are you needing in your
life that is causing you to feel bored? How are
we going to create this joy again? For the little moments,
this experience that you are trying to create in your
life of actually living life? How are we going to
do that? Again? So in the moments that boredom hit
next time, explorer and answer these questions. Are you avoiding discomfort?
(17:58):
Number one too? Have you overloaded your senses to the
point where ordinary moments feel dull? If so, do you
need a stimulation detox? And what does that look like
for you? See what things you are filling your moments with?
What stimulation you are giving yourself that you may not
actually need? And do you know how to activate your curiosity,
your joy, or your presence? Do you know what does
(18:20):
that for you? Is it reading a book? Is it
going out in nature? Is it having meaningful conversations? Is
it drawing an art piece? Is it going dancing? Find
the things? If you don't know, go explore find the things.
I can't tell you what to do. You need to
find them for yourself. And so this is a lot
of work that has to be done by you, not
(18:41):
by anybody else. I can tell you what sparks my curiosity,
my joy, in my presence, but that may not be
the same for you. And so this is really an
exploration phase that you have to go through, and so
just in case you do need a little bit of
help get in there, I'm going to share some of
the things that I did to start appreciating the daily
grind and the things that I use in the moments
where the feeling of boredom hits. So the first thing
(19:03):
is creating sensory moments of your everyday activities, whether that's
essential oils in your laundry or taking a walk to
work without headphones and listening to nature, or whether it's
eye contact and smiles on the train, or plaiting your
meal really aesthetically, because let's be honest, we eat three
meals a day. Might as well make them beautiful and
might as well connect to it. The second thing is
(19:24):
practicing presence and the art of noticing. I remember my
friend once told me he notices flamingos everywhere, and I
thought that was such a random thing, and that is
something that you don't actually ever see often. And I
was like, okay, flamingo's great. That sounds amazing, And I
kind of didn't pay much attention to it at all.
It was I thought it was something that came in
(19:45):
my ear and out my ear. But actually I started
seeing flamingos everywhere, and I thought that was such a run.
I literally was not expecting that at all. But whether
it was on objects or casstickers or clothes or graffiti
on walls in random places around the world, I would
start seeing it all the time. And we're so used
(20:06):
to being in our own heads and not in the
real world, and so to help exercise this, you could
even do something like thinking of a color at the
beginning of the day, or something random like a flamingo,
and your mind will consciously seek it and be looking
for it, which naturally makes you more present in your day,
Like when you've lost your keys, you're so much more
aware of Oh, I didn't even know this was in
(20:28):
this place. You're looking into different places with so much
more attention and so much more presence. And so when
you pick something at the beginning of the day, you're like, Okay,
I'm going to look for the color green, and you
tell yourself that you'll notice everything green. Oh, it's like
when you end up saying I never see a car
that's this color, and then suddenly you see it everywhere
(20:48):
on the road, and so it's a really great practice
to bring you back to the present moment. Boredom lives
in the head and presence lives in the body, so
reconnecting both is key. The third thing is shift from
consumption to creation. And so instead of scrolling or distracting yourself,
which is consumption, you're consuming what other people are doing,
(21:09):
You're filling yourself with what other people are telling you.
It actually won't fell the void of boredom, it would
just mask it for a fleeting moment. And so make
or create something so you are having output rather than input.
Creation can bring you back to life. It can help
you feel like you are living your life. It can
make you feel useful in some way and useful to yourself.
(21:31):
And so creation puts you back in the moment and
the present. And I love doing that whenever I feel like,
oh I'm a bit antsy, or you know, even sometimes
when I'm watching things for too long, I get so bored,
so I have to get up and I get in
the kitchen, or I'll go organize something something that makes
me feel like I'm accomplishing, you know, And I think
that's really important. We end up choosing things that numb
(21:52):
us rather than make us feel accomplished, and that numbing
doesn't actually make us feel better about ourself, but accomplishing
or create really does. And so find things that you
like accomplishing or that you like creating, and try to
turn to that instead of things that actually numb us.
And actually, what I'll do on Instagram is I'm going
to put a list of all the things that actually
(22:14):
numb us usually that we turn to during these moments,
and the things that can actually help to nourish us differently.
And what you can do is go through those lists
and see which ones do you normally turn to, and
try and go through the ones in the other column
for a week, for two weeks, and see how that feels.
The next thing is something really simple. Touch something real
the moment you feel like you're bored or you're like
(22:34):
in and out of presence, touch something that is real,
that is physical in real life. So whether it is
handwriting something, whether it's making tea from scratch. Digital overstimulation
really creates a false sense of busyness while leaving us
feeling so empty. So instead of going into a world
that doesn't really exist online, find something to do in
(22:55):
the world that does exist in real life. So you
can connect back to the world you want to be
living in rather than a world that kind of doesn't
exist or exist, but not in the world that we're
actually living in. And so find things to do in
the physical world that you are able to to help
me reconnect back here. And so the last thing is
moving your body, change your state. Let me tell you,
(23:17):
every time I feel any kind of boredom, stagnation, dullness,
movement has never and never with an underline, a circle
around it, bold it, put it in italics. Never ever
has movement failed me in making me change my state
or my mindset into a better one. So that could
be a workout, it could be a walk without a destination.
(23:39):
Movement wakes up parts of you that boredom puts to sleep.
And so whenever you are in doubt, take a walk,
take a walk, take some deep breaths, and I guarantee
you you will come out feeling far less bored than
you were before you started, and probably receiving more than
you expected to on that wonderful little walk that you
(24:00):
you take. And so I'm actually so glad that my
friend messaged me that this morning, because it really helped
me to reflect on this topic of boredom, and I
was surprised at how many people have that feeling, and
trust me, I have felt that feeling in a deeper sense.
I think constant boredom and this feeling of constant boredom
(24:22):
that's repetitive is actually what turns into depression. And I
think this lack of contentment, this lack of exploration, is
also partly what causes depression. And so I think the
key to all of this is explore, like explore the world.
Explore the life that you have around you right now,
and if you feel like you've over explored it, try
(24:43):
and see it with a different perspective, try and notice
things that you wouldn't normally and see how you can
bring a little bit more joy back into your day.
And I guarantee you, no matter what you think, there
is a way to bring joy back into whatever day
is that you are living. You just have to try,
and you just have to believe that it's possible, and
you have to put in some effort. You know, it's
not all just wanting and wishing. It's practical. You have
(25:06):
to give it a go. Of the exploration phase of
finding the things that stimulate you and that make you
really that fulfill you takes a lot of work because
you have to put in the effort to figure those
things out, especially if you've got to a place where
you haven't done it in a long time. So I
hope this was useful. And let me know if you
guys start to explore, let me know where how you
(25:28):
have ever taken yourself out of a funk or the
boredom that hits you, because I'll share that with other people.
And yeah, sending us so much love for this upcoming
week and this beautiful day that can be. And if
you're listen to this anytime of the day, you can
start this from this moment forward. Sending your so much
love and hope you have a wonderful, wonderful day.
I'm rather Dablukiah, and on my podcast A Really Good Cry,
we embrace the messy and the beautiful, providing a space
for celebrate vulnerability and allow you to tune in to learn,
connect and find comfort together. Hey everyone, and welcome back
to this week's episode of A Really Good Cry. I
hope that you have had such a wonderful, wonderful week
(00:21):
so far. It has been absolutely glorious outside where I am.
The sun has been shining, and it makes such a
big difference to your me, doesn't it. This spring, summer
season or the in between that's happening right now has
been pretty magical. So I hope you guys are enjoying
it too, wherever you are in the world. But to
be honest, whatever weather it is, I generally tend to
love it. Rain, sunshine, bit of snow, you know, all
(00:43):
of it. I really appreciate it. Now. I don't know
whether you guys have seen this romanticizing your life TikTok trend.
It's basically people doing everyday little things but making them
esthetically pleasing or showing the moments of joy that they
feel in them. And every single time I see them
pop up, it's such a good reminder to me that
everyday life is actually so special, but sometimes just get
(01:05):
so used to them and they feel mundane, and they
feel boring, and they feel so monotonous. And so I
love the idea of romanticizing the everyday life that we live,
because why would we want to go through majority of
our life feeling bored or fed up or not excited
by the life that we're living. And so I thought
(01:25):
it's a really good reminder to us to do that,
to really take the moments in life that we take
for granted that we don't even notice, and start noticing them,
start appreciating them, start valuing them, start seeing them in
a completely different way, and changing our perspective of it,
because not for anybody else, but simply because that's what
(01:46):
you deserve. That's the life that you deserve to have,
a life that you are excited by, a life that
you enjoy. And sometimes people think that means changing your life,
but actually I think it's more about the noticing and
more about appreciating what already is. And I think there
is a way to do that with everything if you
(02:08):
change your mindset and allow for it. I actually got
a text from a friend this morning that inspired the
topic of this episode. She said, I don't know how
to be bored, Like, I really don't know what people
do on a Sunday. Life feels too still, especially when
I'm on my own. And you know what, I recently
read this in Ryan Holiday's book this week called The
Daily Stoic. And by the way, this book is so incredible.
(02:31):
It has inspired so many meaningful conversations with other people,
but also this journey of introspection in my own mind,
these different reflections I've been having and the thoughts that
I've been having, And honestly, it is such a great
thought provoker, and that's what I would define it as.
It's got all these little moments and little paragraphs. You
(02:52):
only have to read a page a day, but in
that one page I have gained so much every single day,
and so obviously definitely go and check it out and
give it a read. Is actually a book that I
have gifted out to a lot of people since I've
been reading it, and they really appreciated it. But this
week I read a page that said, see the world
like a poet and an artist. It takes an artist
(03:13):
I to see that the end of life is not
unlike a ripe fruit falling from its tree. It takes
a poet to notice the way baking bread splits in places,
and those cracks, while not intended, is the baker's art
that catches our eye and serves to stir our appetite
and find a metaphor in them. There is clarity and
(03:34):
joy in seeing what others can't see, in finding grace
and harmony in places others overlook. Isn't that far better
than seeing the world as some dark place. I loved
that paragraph so much. What it really reiterated to me
is that we get to choose how we see things.
(03:54):
And you know, I mentioned the seasons and the weather before.
I used to despise and I was like, oh, I
get all wet, and I don't like feeling damp. And
you know, I really used to demonize the different weathers.
When it wasn't sunny or it wasn't crisp outside, I
would feel so disappointed. But then when I chose to
(04:14):
notice those rain drops, and when I felt rain on
a really hot day and it was cooling on my skin,
and when I felt the snow under my feet after
not experiencing it for a really long time, or when
you see the mist in the air on a foggy day,
you know, when you start seeing these things differently, I
was like, wow, this is so beautiful actually, and how
(04:36):
magical that we get to experience all these different seasons,
not just one, because I've been to places where they
really don't experience seasons and it's quite sad actually, And
so it was such a great reminder to me that
we had the opportunity to see the world as a poet,
to see the world like an artist, and experience it
in that way every single day, no matter what it
(04:59):
is in our life, and that feels really empowering. And
it makes me think that we can experience our normal,
day to day lives in different ways every single day,
and how fun would that be to be able to
experience the same day but differently constantly. And I think
romanticizing your life is a conscious choice to see beauty
and meaning in the every day, not just waiting for
(05:19):
those big moments, but really finding the joy and magic
in the mundane daily things that you do. And you know,
if you only wait for the bigger things, the huge gestures,
or the big moments to feel those sparks, they seriously
will be few and far between, and they're only then
save for special occasions. But why should we only feel
sparks in those moments? If we could feel that every
(05:41):
single day, why would we choose to only feel it
in those moments when we could feel it every single day.
What if you could just reframe your vision and shift
from being on autopilot daily to being in awe and
appreciation every single day for the things that we actually
experience all the time. That means we get to feel
those sparks more often. There is this beautiful Sanscrit word
(06:04):
called rittha. It's the idea of natural order, or daily rhythm.
The sun rises, the sunsets, the leaves fall, the leaves grow.
You breathe in, you breathe out. And just as nature
requires a daily rhythm to keep order, we do too,
the daily grind of waking up, brushing our teeth, cooking,
(06:25):
folding clothes, getting your kids ready for school, whatever it is,
it is your individual rhythm, It is your ritual. And
so the this word ritual comes from this Sanskrit word rittha.
And so is it really boring or is it just familiar, predictable, safe, peaceful?
So sometimes I think we really mistake what boring actually means,
(06:46):
because sometimes I think what we mean by boring are
those other words like familiar, like predictable, like safe, like peaceful,
and what even is the word boring? Boring isn't a
fact or a defined action. It is purely a perception.
It is what we decide to label a moment when
it doesn't give us stimulation or novelty or immediate reward.
(07:06):
And the thing is, if you end up building your
tolerance of stimulation, when you end up stimulating yourself constantly,
you constantly are scrolling, You're constantly seeking excitement, You're constantly
on these roller coasters of unpredictability in your life, and
you're just always on this high and you're seeking the
next thing and the next thing and the next thing.
The problem is, the more you do that, the more
(07:28):
likely you are to receive or perceive the moments in
between of repetition or stillness as boredom, because you're creating
this unrealistic bar for stimulation that is actually not meant
to be how our life is lived. Those moments in
between the excitement, the silence in between the songs and
you're playing them in the car the repetitive days between
(07:51):
the weekends essentially feel like a drag. And if you
think about it, most people survive their week to live
for the weekend. And I get that, you know, you
get your time off, you get a moment to yourself.
But that means you are literally enjoying two out of
seven of your days, two out of seven days of
the week. That's all you are enjoying, which is twenty
(08:13):
seven percent of your whole entire life. And that seems
really really sad to only enjoy twenty seven percent of
our life. No, that cannot be. That is not what
life is supposed to be like. And so when you
think about it, what is the opposite of a life
without patterns, without these rhythms, it would be chaos, the
opposite of stability, the opposite of patterns, the opposite of rhythms,
(08:36):
the opposite of ritual is actually chaos. The thing is,
when you get used to this feeling of chaos, you
also get used to this feeling which a company is chaos,
which is uncertainty or a state of anxiety. So we
don't really want the opposite of boredom. We're really just
seeking but unsure what it is. We are seeking. I
think sometimes we say bored as an easy word to
(08:58):
use to describe this feeling that we're not used to,
and that's where I think emotional vocabulary and emotional intelligence
really comes into play and is so important knowing how
to identify what we are feeling and the words to
match that. So bored could be uninspired, discontent, uninterested, sad
could be disappointed, disheartened, or lonely. You know, exploring your
(09:21):
feelings and naming them can help you really identify what
you actually want to do in that moment, or the
action that is required of you becomes much clearer. I
personally think that this feeling of boredom happens when our
brain starts to crave novelty or change or a challenge,
or our attention is not fully engaged. So really we
(09:41):
could also call that lack of presence, or that we
are disconnected from the meaning in the moment. And so
nothing is innately labeled boring. Nothing is born as boring
or created as boring. It is purely in our own
judgment of something that makes it that. So if it's
in our own judgment that makes something, how do we
(10:01):
reframe that? How do we rewrite that story. It is
what you think it is. So what if your moments
of boredom you can change into moments of peace or
moments of comfort, or moments of space or moments of time,
moments of creation or reflection or calm or just being.
What if you were able to change that narrative and
(10:22):
start speaking those words instead of bored. Let's just take
that word out of our vocabulary, Like, if you take
anything away from this, if you are someone who feels
bored regularly, let's just take that vocabulary, that word out
of our language, and try and use these other words
to help us differentiate between the two and what we
are really feeling. I read a quote that said, very
(10:45):
little is needed to make a happy life. It is
all in your way of thinking, And honestly, isn't that true.
I go into this really terrible habit of rushing through everything,
whether it was meals or mornings, even moments of stillness.
I was thinking about the next thing and the next
thing and the next thing I had to do. But
something really shifted when I started slowing down and trying
(11:07):
to treat the smallest parts of my day like they mattered,
Because I realized I was feeling really dissatisfied, and I
was thinking, I was doing all these things. I'm accomplishing
quite a lot during the day. I am so busy, busy, busy,
busy all the time. So why am I feeling so dissatisfied?
And I realized there was actually this lack of appreciation
(11:27):
for the day that I had had, and a lack
of presence and finding meaning in those moments, and so
it literally changed everything. And so from my experience after
making this mindset shift, I realized boredom does not exist
when you are forever looking at the world with the
desire and intention to appreciate and notice, and so much
(11:48):
of joy and lack of boredom is simply the practice
of noticing what you don't notice, you cannot appreciate. And so,
whether it's seeing the sun or feeling on my skin,
thank you so much, Sunshine for giving us and the
plants and the world around me life. You are so magnificent, Sunshine.
(12:10):
Or when I see someone on the street and give
them a big smile and they smile back at me,
I think, Wow, how lovely was that person? And it
completely changes my mood. Or when I see a flower
instead of thinking, Ah, that's nice. I think, Oh, my goodness,
how intricate and incredible Mother nature is to have all
these different species and all these different flowers, and all
(12:31):
the different varieties of this one thing, this one thing
we've called flowers. Look at all the differences there are
in each one of them. And actually, most of the
time I can't even contain it in my mind because
I'm genuinely in such awe, and I say out loud
with so much excitement. I mean, you might pass a
hundred flowers every single day, but do you really see them?
You might do three loads of washing a week, but
(12:52):
how does the fresh laundry smell? You can add essential oils,
and honestly, it'll be such a good treat. I do
that in every moment. I can get just spray on
all those essential oils, and it changes the way that
I even experienced. That you might see the same people
every day and have the same conversations over and over again,
but have you tried asking a new question? The fact
(13:13):
is the world is magnificent. The world is a place
where we can forever, explore, forever experience without this feeling
of boredom. But everything can feel small and insignificant until
you choose to expand them through your attention, your curiosity,
and finding meaning in those moments. If I think about it,
(13:36):
when I was writing this, I honestly couldn't remember the
last time I thought, oh, I am so bored. I
don't even think whether that thoughts come into my mind,
maybe when I was younger, or actually I do remember
thinking I was bored when I first moved to New
York City, because I was constantly thinking, now, what do
I do? Because I had no purpose, no motivation, and
(13:57):
no reason for even being there. For the fact that
obviously Jay was there for his work, but I didn't
feel like I had my purpose there. But really what
I was feeling was lost and in need of direction
and the feeling of being in use. And so I
just started to study and explore and try different things
out and find things that actually fueled me instead of
sitting at home and just watching movie after movie or
(14:19):
show after show, which by the way, in itself, is
so boring, even if it feels like momentary upliftment. And so,
if I really think about what has saved me from
this idea of boredom, it has to be curiosity and exploration.
If you're always asking, you're always learning, and if you're
always choosing to notice, then you are constantly in awe
(14:42):
of the world. And so if I really think about
what has saved me from this idea of boredom, it
has to be curiosity and exploration. If you're asking questions,
you're always learning, and if you're always choosing to notice,
then you're in constant awe of the world around you.
And then there's no space left for this dull feeling
of boredom because to some degree, even the mundane things
(15:02):
become exciting and stimulating to the mind. And you know,
those days, those days that feel the same day in
day out, actually give me a chance to feel stability.
Stability leads to the feeling of safety. In safety, I
have this ability to soften, and when I soften, I
have this ability to tap into my creativity, whether it's
(15:23):
daydreaming in the shower, because you definitely aren't daydreaming in
the shower when your mind is chaotic. And I get
so much clarity in those days because there's no loud distractions.
There's a regulation, which is what the nervous system needs
to thrive, and so boredom isn't actually the absence of
things to do. It's the absence of connection to what
you're doing, because you can be extremely busy and still
(15:46):
feel this dullness of boredom deep down. So it's really
not about many actions, it's about the connection to those actions.
My life has obviously changed a lot since I was
a child, since I was even a teenager, since I
was in my twenties. My love is changed drastically in
ways that I wasn't even expecting it to. But when
I think about my day to day life, I have
(16:08):
such a regular schedule. I do do same thing, if
not similar, every single day. I work out at the
same time, I eat at the same times, I sleep
at the same times, and most of the things in
between are quite monotonois. I write my podcast episodes, I'll
record them, I'll write my newsletter, I'll have meetings with
my team. And so I wrote this scorte by Leo
Tol's toy that said, I think that's how you say
(16:30):
his name. Boredom is simply the desire for desires, a
feeling of a liveness to remember we are actually alive,
and what makes us feel alive Inspiration, connection, excitement, and purpose.
But often when we feel bored, we end not filling
it with things that don't truly meet that feeling, but
cover it up, usually with overstimulation or destruction, which means
(16:53):
eventually that dull feeling of boredom will keep popping back
up in the moments of stillness. It's not that we
want a specific thing, we just want something to want.
And if you think about it, boredom is actually a signal.
It is a signal that we are disconnected from our
deeper purpose, that we're disconnected from our curiosity or our
(17:13):
inspiration in that moment, because you could choose to scroll
in that moment, but as soon as you stop, you'll
go back to that feeling, that same bored feeling, which
is a good way to know if you've actually found
the thing that solves boredom. It's like having a backache
and taking medications for indigestion. It's not going to help
the problem, is it. And so you can keep trying
to cover something up, you can keep trying to do
(17:35):
temporary fixes, but really, what are you needing in your
life that is causing you to feel bored? How are
we going to create this joy again? For the little moments,
this experience that you are trying to create in your
life of actually living life? How are we going to
do that? Again? So in the moments that boredom hit
next time, explorer and answer these questions. Are you avoiding discomfort?
(17:58):
Number one too? Have you overloaded your senses to the
point where ordinary moments feel dull? If so, do you
need a stimulation detox? And what does that look like
for you? See what things you are filling your moments with?
What stimulation you are giving yourself that you may not
actually need? And do you know how to activate your curiosity,
your joy, or your presence? Do you know what does
(18:20):
that for you? Is it reading a book? Is it
going out in nature? Is it having meaningful conversations? Is
it drawing an art piece? Is it going dancing? Find
the things? If you don't know, go explore find the things.
I can't tell you what to do. You need to
find them for yourself. And so this is a lot
of work that has to be done by you, not
(18:41):
by anybody else. I can tell you what sparks my curiosity,
my joy, in my presence, but that may not be
the same for you. And so this is really an
exploration phase that you have to go through, and so
just in case you do need a little bit of
help get in there, I'm going to share some of
the things that I did to start appreciating the daily
grind and the things that I use in the moments
where the feeling of boredom hits. So the first thing
(19:03):
is creating sensory moments of your everyday activities, whether that's
essential oils in your laundry or taking a walk to
work without headphones and listening to nature, or whether it's
eye contact and smiles on the train, or plaiting your
meal really aesthetically, because let's be honest, we eat three
meals a day. Might as well make them beautiful and
might as well connect to it. The second thing is
(19:24):
practicing presence and the art of noticing. I remember my
friend once told me he notices flamingos everywhere, and I
thought that was such a random thing, and that is
something that you don't actually ever see often. And I
was like, okay, flamingo's great. That sounds amazing, And I
kind of didn't pay much attention to it at all.
It was I thought it was something that came in
(19:45):
my ear and out my ear. But actually I started
seeing flamingos everywhere, and I thought that was such a run.
I literally was not expecting that at all. But whether
it was on objects or casstickers or clothes or graffiti
on walls in random places around the world, I would
start seeing it all the time. And we're so used
(20:06):
to being in our own heads and not in the
real world, and so to help exercise this, you could
even do something like thinking of a color at the
beginning of the day, or something random like a flamingo,
and your mind will consciously seek it and be looking
for it, which naturally makes you more present in your day,
Like when you've lost your keys, you're so much more
aware of Oh, I didn't even know this was in
(20:28):
this place. You're looking into different places with so much
more attention and so much more presence. And so when
you pick something at the beginning of the day, you're like, Okay,
I'm going to look for the color green, and you
tell yourself that you'll notice everything green. Oh, it's like
when you end up saying I never see a car
that's this color, and then suddenly you see it everywhere
(20:48):
on the road, and so it's a really great practice
to bring you back to the present moment. Boredom lives
in the head and presence lives in the body, so
reconnecting both is key. The third thing is shift from
consumption to creation. And so instead of scrolling or distracting yourself,
which is consumption, you're consuming what other people are doing,
(21:09):
You're filling yourself with what other people are telling you.
It actually won't fell the void of boredom, it would
just mask it for a fleeting moment. And so make
or create something so you are having output rather than input.
Creation can bring you back to life. It can help
you feel like you are living your life. It can
make you feel useful in some way and useful to yourself.
(21:31):
And so creation puts you back in the moment and
the present. And I love doing that whenever I feel like,
oh I'm a bit antsy, or you know, even sometimes
when I'm watching things for too long, I get so bored,
so I have to get up and I get in
the kitchen, or I'll go organize something something that makes
me feel like I'm accomplishing, you know, And I think
that's really important. We end up choosing things that numb
(21:52):
us rather than make us feel accomplished, and that numbing
doesn't actually make us feel better about ourself, but accomplishing
or create really does. And so find things that you
like accomplishing or that you like creating, and try to
turn to that instead of things that actually numb us.
And actually, what I'll do on Instagram is I'm going
to put a list of all the things that actually
(22:14):
numb us usually that we turn to during these moments,
and the things that can actually help to nourish us differently.
And what you can do is go through those lists
and see which ones do you normally turn to, and
try and go through the ones in the other column
for a week, for two weeks, and see how that feels.
The next thing is something really simple. Touch something real
the moment you feel like you're bored or you're like
(22:34):
in and out of presence, touch something that is real,
that is physical in real life. So whether it is
handwriting something, whether it's making tea from scratch. Digital overstimulation
really creates a false sense of busyness while leaving us
feeling so empty. So instead of going into a world
that doesn't really exist online, find something to do in
(22:55):
the world that does exist in real life. So you
can connect back to the world you want to be
living in rather than a world that kind of doesn't
exist or exist, but not in the world that we're
actually living in. And so find things to do in
the physical world that you are able to to help
me reconnect back here. And so the last thing is
moving your body, change your state. Let me tell you,
(23:17):
every time I feel any kind of boredom, stagnation, dullness,
movement has never and never with an underline, a circle
around it, bold it, put it in italics. Never ever
has movement failed me in making me change my state
or my mindset into a better one. So that could
be a workout, it could be a walk without a destination.
(23:39):
Movement wakes up parts of you that boredom puts to sleep.
And so whenever you are in doubt, take a walk,
take a walk, take some deep breaths, and I guarantee
you you will come out feeling far less bored than
you were before you started, and probably receiving more than
you expected to on that wonderful little walk that you
(24:00):
you take. And so I'm actually so glad that my
friend messaged me that this morning, because it really helped
me to reflect on this topic of boredom, and I
was surprised at how many people have that feeling, and
trust me, I have felt that feeling in a deeper sense.
I think constant boredom and this feeling of constant boredom
(24:22):
that's repetitive is actually what turns into depression. And I
think this lack of contentment, this lack of exploration, is
also partly what causes depression. And so I think the
key to all of this is explore, like explore the world.
Explore the life that you have around you right now,
and if you feel like you've over explored it, try
(24:43):
and see it with a different perspective, try and notice
things that you wouldn't normally and see how you can
bring a little bit more joy back into your day.
And I guarantee you, no matter what you think, there
is a way to bring joy back into whatever day
is that you are living. You just have to try,
and you just have to believe that it's possible, and
you have to put in some effort. You know, it's
not all just wanting and wishing. It's practical. You have
(25:06):
to give it a go. Of the exploration phase of
finding the things that stimulate you and that make you
really that fulfill you takes a lot of work because
you have to put in the effort to figure those
things out, especially if you've got to a place where
you haven't done it in a long time. So I
hope this was useful. And let me know if you
guys start to explore, let me know where how you
(25:28):
have ever taken yourself out of a funk or the
boredom that hits you, because I'll share that with other people.
And yeah, sending us so much love for this upcoming
week and this beautiful day that can be. And if
you're listen to this anytime of the day, you can
start this from this moment forward. Sending your so much
love and hope you have a wonderful, wonderful day.
Host
Radhi Devlukia
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