July 29, 2025 • 40 mins
Rune Kolbeck found his truest self in the quiet expanse of nature, spending an idyllic youth roaming the Midwest's cornfields and timbers. But when he moved to Anchorage, Alaska, seeking a new home in the wilderness, he found himself in an unexpected nightmare. Within weeks of settling into the "big city," a casual run in a public park turned terrifying as he stared down the barrel of a gun. He recounts how he "kept being surprised that I wasn't dead yet".
In this haunting episode of Alive Again, Rune takes us through the surreal moments of his near-death encounter, battling confusion and fear as he stood face-to-face with an unknown assailant. He shares the chilling revelation that followed: learning from a newspaper article that the man who had spared his life was, in fact, a serial killer operating on the very trail system where Rune had been.
Rune’s story isn’t about a heroic escape or a tidy conclusion; instead, it's a raw exploration of living with enduring psychological impact and unresolved trauma that has changed who he is. He speaks candidly about the burden of a story that doesn't fit the typical hero's journey, acknowledging his own imperfections. He shares his experience as a testament to those who find themselves “in the middle"—not heroes, not villains, just survivors wrestling with a reality that offers no neat ending. His powerful narrative reminds us that not all brushes with death lead to immediate clarity; some leave us grappling with the profound, unsettling truth that life doesn't always provide the resolution we seek, but that sharing these stories can help others realize they're not alone.
* If you have a transformative near-death experience to share, we’d love to hear your story. Please email us at aliveagainproject@gmail.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
You're listening to Alive Again, a production of Psychopia Pictures
and iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
My name is Ruine Colbert. Several years ago, shortly after
I moved to Anchorage, Alaska, I hoped down the barrel
of a gun in a public park and my world
changed forever. I'm not a hero. I did the wrong thing.
(00:36):
Those stories of those people in the middle who aren't
the hero, I mean they might be somewhat of a
villain for not fulfilling there what we generally think of
as our human obligation to do the right thing at
the right time.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Welcome to Alive Again, a podcast that should cases miraculous
accounts of human fragility and resilience from people his lives
were forever altered after having almost died. These are first
hand accounts of near death experiences and more broadly, brushes
with death. Our mission is simple, find, explore, and share
(01:17):
these stories to remind us all of our shared human condition.
Please keep in mind these stories are true and maybe
triggering for some listener. Discretion is advised.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
I grew up in the agricultural Midwest, where when I
would step out of the house, I would look out
and see miles and miles of cornfields, and like some
of my earliest memories are being able to go outside
and I would hear that the little metal flap on
(01:56):
the hog troughs close whenever hogs were done eating, and
you could hear that closing of the flat for miles.
There was really like nothing blocking that sound. And so
I was really lucky as a kid. I was able
to just go outside and play. Summers off from school
just involved roaming the creeks and timbers and bicycling to
(02:20):
different farm ponds to bass fish. I look back and
I was really lucky. It was a great childhood. It
was a strange path, but it ended up going through
college and living in some larger cities. And I met
a couple who had worked seasonally in Alaska for a
(02:44):
lot of years, and they kept telling me, room, you
got to come up to Alaska. You'll like it. And
I got the opportunity and I did. I ended up
flying back to the Midwest and I had a car,
and storage got in the car and drove to Alaska.
There was this point it's called the alcan Highway, the
(03:05):
Alaska Canada Highway, and this was before I mean, you
could have a GPS I'm sure, but this is at
a time when I think most people just had an
atlas and would drive from the map. And so there's
this section of the highway that it weaves back and
forth between British Columbia and the Yukon, and there was
(03:28):
mountainous forests everywhere. I hadn't seen a car in probably
an hour, and I had this like revelation that I
was like, this is the most beautiful place I've ever been.
This feels more like home than any place I've ever been.
(03:52):
When I landed like permanently in Alaska, I lived about
an hour from work in Anchorage. There's a little farm
town called Palmer. Lived about fifteen minutes outside of that town,
and it was maybe a six hundred square foot a
(04:12):
framed cabin on about five acres. Rarely head moose coming
through the yard. It was I mean, I would say
I found my like the Rovian ideal and really enjoyed
it there. I was living alone in that cabin for
several years and Headlfe arranged where I could have a dog.
(04:35):
I really lucked out finding Birdie, I referred to as
a flat coated retriever, but she was a whole mix
of different breeds, and the same day I got her,
we would be outside exploring the yard, come back inside.
We're going in and outside, and one of the times
(04:55):
I opened the door and then I hid behind it.
I wanted to see what she and then once she
came in, she was kind of frantically looking for me,
and then I jumped out behind the door and scared
her and she loved it. And it wasn't five minutes
later that we were going back outside again. I let
her out and I was doing something in the kitchen,
(05:18):
then stepped out onto the deck and she was gone,
and it was like I would panic. It was like
I just got this dog. I thought we were having fun.
She ran off and as I stepped off the deck,
(05:38):
she came from behind the steps in under it and
just put her nose on my hand and scared me.
And like it was it was at that moment that
I knew that this was the right dog for me.
By one of the benefits of this place that I lived,
it was just miles of hiking. Over the next several weeks,
we would just we would go for walks and she
(06:00):
was always two steps behind me, and eventually I stopped
and I said, do you want to go first? And
her ears perked up and she ran in front. Yeah.
We were a great team, but being able to live
at that place and then commute to the larger city
of Anchorage for work was practically impossible. And then the
(06:28):
dating and farm town didn't go very well. There weren't
there were not very many people to choose from. Ended
up finding someone who lived in Anchorage and she wasn't
leaving Anchorage, so that led to me moving into Anchorage.
And Anchorage is by far the largest city I've ever
(06:50):
lived in. I hadn't been living in Anchorage very long,
and at the time I was a pretty avid runner.
Running like it clarifies the brain somehow, or I don't
even I don't even know what it does, but there's
(07:10):
some sort of clear thinking that happens during a run
or after a run, or something along those lines. And
when I lived out in Palmer, I mean I loved it.
I would take the dog Bertie for runs all the time,
even if it was twenty below we would go out.
And one of the things that I enjoyed most about
(07:31):
it out there was I lived rural enough I did
not have to put her on a leash we could go.
She knew the route, but she was a fantastic dog.
And we got to a point that we would be
about a core mile from home and I could turn
to her and I would say, let's finish strong and
take off running, and we would race to the house
and then she would sprint and run up to the
(07:52):
door and win every time, and she'd be so proud
of winning. But we really, I mean, we just had that.
I mean, I hate I keep emphasizing how idyllic it was,
but I really had a place that I enjoyed. And
then moved to Anchorage and time to leash up the
(08:12):
dog and going for a run just wasn't the same experience.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
So it was.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
I mean, it was within a couple of weeks of
moving to town, like still getting settled in in the
big city as far as I concerned. We ran to
Earthquake Park. The parking lot for the park joins the
(08:41):
Coastal Trail. We made a turn heading down the hill
on the Coastal Trail. I mean, I can.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
See like.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
This, It's like it happened yesterday. There was a person
near the bottom of the hill and was wearing a
green jacket and walking. It was a summer day, so
I'm wearing running clothes. Even in Alaska in the summer
(09:16):
day that means like short sleeve shirt and shorts. This
person was wearing clothes that looked like they were ready
for a rainstorm, perhaps in twenty to thirty degrees, like
even colder. The person wasn't dressed for conditions, but that's
not all that unusual, Like in Alaska, you just you
(09:39):
never know, you dress for whatever weather that could happen.
But from I mean probably forty yards away, it was
like this person just doesn't it doesn't look right. And
I had no idea what it was, but it was
like something wasn't right. But I have the dog on
the leashed and I'm just trying to run and clear
(10:01):
my head. And as I approached, I could see his
face really clearly, and it was like his face just
looked gray, like it just it didn't have the right complexion,
and it looked like there was just he was having
(10:23):
a really bad day and he was just like mulling
over something that was I don't know, eating away at
him or I don't know what, but it was like
this person just doesn't This person's been having a bad
time at life. Growing up in such a rural environment,
(10:45):
you know, always think that people are friendly and you
like you wave. I grew up waving to other vehicles
that I saw on the road. You know, would certainly
give a friendly smile to people when I was in
the grocery store or anywhere else, because that's I guess
that sort of like world decorum that I'm used to,
(11:06):
and so I you know, I tried to give him
a smile, and I I don't know if he was
even like looking at me or looking at my at
my face, but he lifted up his shirt and pulled
a gun out.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
It was.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
It was just so far out that I didn't necessarily
believe that what I was seeing was really happening. I mean,
there were actually quite a few things that started going
through my head, but it was just like just seeing
the gun, I was like, this is this is strange.
But I'm kind of a new person in this strange place,
(11:53):
Like it's just like this is this is different. And
then he pointed the gun at me, just like straight
straight at my body. I mean thinking about you know,
like in the wilderness part of like a Denali experience
(12:19):
pretty often would be seeing snowshoe hairs, and generally that
leads to conversations about fight or flight, right, And that's
the typical responses that anyone engages in when they have
some sort of dangerous encounter. But snowshoe hairs have like
(12:39):
they have a different response, and not that they don't
don't run, but their first stage is just like freeze
up and stay still and rely on camouflage. And so
you know, I a lot end up making fun of
the snowshoe hair is like they got the number three right,
they have the freeze up. But then essentially that's what
(13:04):
that's what I did along the trail was I just
was like it was just so paralyzed that I didn't
I didn't understand this situation. I just I didn't know.
I didn't know what to do. And I certainly have
a lot of thoughts about what I would have liked
to have done differently, but.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Like I had.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
All I could do is I just like smiled at
him and I looked down at the dog, and I
was like, I guess accepting that I that I was
gonna die m and I didn't know if he would
kill the dog too, Like that was by who I
(13:57):
was thinking about. Was Bertie just watching her and basically
just waiting for her to happen. She looked up at
me several times, like she's always always checking in with me.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
There's some stranger.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
And I mean it sounds silly, but often when you
encounter someone, you smile and they and they smile back right,
and there's this exchange that takes place, and even if
that person is sad like most times, they're still able
to smile back. And it sounds like so silly, but
(14:39):
I really believe that you give them some of your
happiness that at least gives them that ability to smile.
So so that's what I did, Like I was looking
down at Bertie, just trying to give the man a
little bit of the happiness that I had in my life.
I can still see, like flat coded retrievers have long
(15:02):
fur like a golden retriever, and so I can still
see like that long fur hanging off of her ears,
and when she would run, the wind would just cause
that to go back just a little bit. I've replayed
it a lot, and I had like such a strong
bond with her that like even with a loud gunshot,
(15:26):
I don't think she would have left me ran off,
she would have she would have stayed, And I mean,
I'll never know, but I really can't help but think
that because I didn't play his game like whatever he
wanted me to do as far as responding, and I
just I just looked at the dog that like that
(15:50):
helped save my life, right because he probably wanted me
to be scared. I don't know, like what chess moves
a person like that is making. But yeah, I didn't
play that game, like, I didn't play the same game
as him, And if I were running alone, it would
have been a different game. But I had Birdie next
(16:11):
to me the whole encounter. I mean, it just took seconds,
but it felt like it felt like an eternity. It
was playing out enough that I kept being surprised that
(16:33):
I wasn't dead yet, or I guess it was more
of the opposite of being surprised I was still alive.
Eventually I was right next to him and he just
like lowered the gun and put it back, put it
back in his pants, And it was like, right at
(16:54):
that moment that I heard people talking behind me. They
must have just entered the tree like how I had,
And so I don't know he he made the decision
not to kill me because I guess there were some
witnesses or something, I don't know, and they would have
been too far away for him to shoot. Like I really,
(17:15):
I have no idea, But getting past him just took
I could just took all the breath out of me.
It just like my legs. I could hardly I could
hardly walk, but I just I had to keep going.
There was a curve in the trail, and I was like,
I just I have to get around this curve. And yeah,
(17:37):
I made.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
It there and just just watched.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I couldn't move, so I was enough around the curve
that there were some rather thick trees that I could
kind of keep between even though the distance was growing,
but I could keep between myself and that person, and
(18:06):
I was able to watch. It was these two they
seemed like they were in high school. Maybe they were
in college, but these just these two kids by just
walking down the hill and they just they just walked
right by him, didn't take any notice of him or anything.
So like I was in such disbelief or my head
(18:27):
was spinning that I needed like to like really understand
this situation. It's like, I think I needed him to
pull the gun on them, and then from their reaction
that would have solidified that that had really happened, but
they just they just walked by, and it was it
(18:48):
was just even it was just even more mind boggling.
And then a bicyclist came by the other direction, and
I wanted, I wanted to stop him, but I don't know,
I wasn't able to. But I I just it was
like I need some sort of confirmation and I didn't
(19:08):
get it.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
It was just.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
It was like my my brain had been put in
a blender, and so I ended up like I couldn't.
I just couldn't run anymore. I tried to run home,
but I couldn't. I couldn't run home, ended up doing
this combination of walking and running. I listened for gunshots.
(19:35):
I was like, is I give me, give me something real?
And then ended up at home. So I just I
waited to watch the news that night. Did someone get
shot or did other people experience you know, I was
looking through the newspaper, was looking for anything that could
(19:56):
confirm what had happened had actually happened, and there wasn't there.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
There wasn't anything, so.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
I just tried to go about normal life. Tried to
go for a run the next day, but I didn't
make it out of the neighborhood. I just couldn't do it.
Even for years afterwards, would have friends that would try
to say, Hey, let's go cross country skiing along the
trail or whatever, and I just couldn't go to that place,
(20:29):
and felt really good when we moved away. Weeks had
gone by, and it was actually a Huffington Post article
that said that Anchorage has a serial killer, right, and
so it came from outside of Alaska, big headlines serial
(20:51):
killer in Anchorage on the trail system, which is exactly
where I was, and like so there suddenly there's validation
that the experience I had, like really had, which then
like mentally elevated it even more. But it also it
(21:12):
also brought in a lot of guilt for not going
to the police, and that's a lot of guilt I
still have to this day, because I by the time
I had learned about the serial killers, so much time
(21:34):
had passed that I didn't feel like I could offer
anything valuable, and more people died. If I would have
gone to the authorities, I could have done something different.
(21:54):
And helped it at least helped the police do their jobs.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I just.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
It's really hard to explain, explain a situation because it
was just such it's just so surreal. I mean, I
look back and I would have done a lot of
things differently, but at the time, I kin don't know.
I was just trying to get through one day to
get to the next.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
I guess.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Weeks after we learned that there was a serial killer
on the trails, they finally showed a like a photo.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
They had an.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Artist's sketch and that was it was. That was him,
and and then the news story where a police officer
had had shot and killed him. The experience has just
totally changed my personality and the ways that I'm able
(23:00):
to deal with people. It just rears itself. It just
comes back. There's no way to predict.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
It's just there.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
It's just blooming. I try to find ways to understand
my behavior, and I think about the like hundreds experiences
I've had around grizzly bears. At one time, I was
(23:32):
fishing with a buddy during the salmon run, and bears
know when the salmon run is happening too. There was
a limit of three sack eyed salmon. So trying to
just get the limit and go. But as we were fishing,
I heard splashing coming up a side stream behind me,
and it was two young bears. The term is sub adults.
(23:55):
One of the problems with some adults is they're in
that teenager stage where they push boundary, because that's what
happens with teenagers. And so these bears they looked at me,
I looked at each other, and then kept coming and
they did that multiple times, to the point that they're
now twenty feet away. I think my buddy is behind me.
(24:18):
Neither one of us had brought bear spray, neither one
of us had brought a gun. We were just going
to catch our fish and go. And I didn't know
what else to do, but I charged the bears, shouted
as loud as I could, and I ran at down
and they took off, running out of the screen into
the woods. Could hear them crashing through the forests. And
(24:39):
then of course we gathered up our fish and gear
and just left. That sort of being in the outdoors,
I would say, is where I have found peace. I mean,
probably all my life, and that's the life that I enjoy,
(25:00):
and the life that has always been difficult for me
is you know, the wilderness of people, I guess, which
is one of the reasons why the big city feels
uncomfortable to me, and probably one of the reasons why
I didn't understand the experience with the man was just
(25:21):
because I don't know. I can't read people in the
same way that I can read stuff in the outdoors.
Acridge has had no shortage of serial killers. There's this guy,
(25:42):
he abducted a girl from a coffee stand. I don't
remember those details entirely, but there was a young person
that I was working with at the time who just
met just like had started forming this working relationship, and
all of a sudd and like she just she just vanished.
(26:03):
And then several weeks later she shows up and she's distraught.
She's just a totally different person. But it turns out
she was supposed to have been working that night in
the coffee stand, and the only reason she wasn't at
work was because she had to trade schedules. She saw herself,
(26:26):
she could have she could have been that person, and
she wasn't in a good place. And I believe I
told her, you know, after she shared that information, she
should feel lucky, she should feel lucky to be alive.
She didn't. That was so far, so far off the radar. Yeah,
(26:52):
and then.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
You have that same experience or someone someone says you
should feel lucky to be alive, and it's just not
you just that's not the situation, Like the pain involved
to reach that, it's easier to just bury it.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
You are able to feel deeply a measure of compassion
for her, the person who was working at the coffee stand.
What do you make of the.
Speaker 6 (27:32):
Fact that you're unable to sort of extend the same
just kind of simple compassion to yourself.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Good question, Kate. I don't know, really, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
I don't know if I if I have an answer
to that.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
I guess.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
In a lot of ways, I would prefer to be
having this conversation today, just because it it just dredges
up so much. I don't know why why I'm sharing
the story. I don't I certainly I'm not a hero.
(28:19):
I did the wrong thing. So I guess if there's
any if I can find any positive thing to say
about sharing the story now, it's maybe that there's some
other people out there that that can hear it and
realize that they're not alone in some of the experiences
(28:40):
they've had. In story culture, there's like quite often a
you know, the strong distinction between hero and villain, those
stories of those people in the middle who aren't the hero.
(29:00):
I mean, they might be somewhat of a villain for
not fulfilling there what we generally think of as our
human obligation to do the right thing at the right time.
For whatever reason, they might not they just might not
have their head on right to be able to do that.
But that's not typically, that's not part of our story
(29:22):
telling culture. We like actual heroes and villains because that
has an ending. It leads to somewhere, and it leads
to some sort of climax with the resolution. But a
lot of stuff in our lives.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Doesn't have that.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Life itself keeps going forward.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Welcome back, this Isn't Live Again.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Joining me for a conversation about today's story are my
other Alive Against story producers Kate Sweeney, Nicholas Dakowski, and
Brent Dye, and I'm your host Dan Bush. Today's episode
it covers a really fascinating story and though in this story,
the brush with death is not one that's as physical.
(30:36):
It is a real adventure in what it does to
your mind to be under such a threat. And I
found it fascinating. Can you tell me some more about
why you Kate, why you chose the story, of why
you were attracted to the story.
Speaker 6 (30:52):
I mean, this was somebody just going through his every
day the way that you and I might, you know,
here walking on a public trail when suddenly his life
is completely upended and somebody pulls a gun on him.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
So what's your takeaway from this story?
Speaker 6 (31:16):
This was a tough one, Dan, And you know, to
be honest, you know, after talking with Rune, this experience
of hearing his story and interviewing him stuck with me
like kind of really bone deep for weeks and weeks,
mainly because of the guilt that he says he still
(31:39):
carries around with him, because you know, you want to
in part, you know, my role is I'm the interviewer,
but I wanted to be able to maybe kind of
do some of what his coworker wanted to do for
him and what he wanted to do for his other
coworker when they're in this really difficult spots in their life,
to kind of like make them feel empathy for themselves.
(32:06):
You know, of course, being traumatized can put us into
a place where we can't be expected to behave practically,
And you know, I could see him holding himself to
this standard of like, you know, I should have I
should have told the cops, I should have tackled this
(32:30):
guy on the trail. Lots of I should have. And
I think we all tend to do things like that
or tend to say I should have in situation. Yeah,
we tend to have these sort of replays with situations
like this, and I think it's essential to be able
to offer ourselves the same grace that we'd offer to
other people. And I think of friends I had in college,
(32:57):
you know, who experienced sexual assact And it might have
been like some guy that everybody knew, and they didn't
turn that person in, but we their friends didn't expect
them to because we all knew what what that friend
(33:19):
would be in for should she do that. But also,
but above and even beyond that sort of being able
to have that empathy for that person, like, no, you're
in this traumatized place, the onus isn't now on you.
So I mean, my main, my main sort of feeling.
Still is my sincere hope that Rune. I mean, I
(33:45):
you know, I got to know him. He's a sympathetic,
warm caring, very sensitive individual.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
I hope that.
Speaker 6 (33:55):
At some point he's able to have this experience is
never going to go away. Right now, he wishes that
it would just go away, and I get that, but
I wish for him the ability to forgive himself, to
forgive himself, yeah, and to have this be a thing
(34:15):
that happened to him and not a thing that keeps
happening to him.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
It's funny because all we are privy to usually is
the hero story. He We're privy too, like we hit.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
A lot of we don't ever hear about all.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
The people who had encounters and were so human and
you know they reacted in a different way, which is
human exactly. And you know, we're held to this narrative
standard that's part of the mythology of our culture. That's like, oh, well,
(34:51):
you should have done something. You should have been a hero.
You should have tackled the guy to the ground and
wrestled the gun from him. You should have gone to
the cops and together you would have searched and found
this guy and saved others and that that's an unrealistic
uh sort of, that's an unrealistic expectation of a human being. Yeah,
and those those hero stories, there's there may be something
(35:14):
else going on there. You know a lot of times
when I hear about people who did react and did
do something dramatic to try to save the day, they're
coming off of some other strange guilt.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Yeah. I don't.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
I don't know the process of self forgiveness. Like you know,
a lot of people have Jesus or they have some
other sort of transcendent thing that can help them in
that process.
Speaker 4 (35:39):
Maybe.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
But you know, if if you're left to your own devices,
how do you cope with that experience? And I can
I can only imagine the PTSD of that guilt and anyway.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Yeah, yeah, can I say too.
Speaker 6 (35:54):
I was also so moved by the just the sensory
details that he included in the story, like his memories
from childhood of hearing the creaking of the hog trough
across the miles when he's off, you know, playing, or
that other moment on the Alcan Highway of realizing, in
this moment, this is my home. It's just beautiful you know,
(36:18):
I'm just amazed at people who found a spot on
the on the globe that their spirit feels really connected to.
Speaker 5 (36:24):
I love that.
Speaker 6 (36:25):
But I'm also really grateful to Run for being able
to share those beautiful moments with us in the midst
of this very difficult story.
Speaker 7 (36:35):
It's almost like it's almost like the the man with
the gun is this human intrusion into this unique place
of nature that he's found, Like it's bringing the loneliness
of the dog and there. Yeah, like he's bringing Like
when you told the story to us at Waller's Coffee House,
I was thinking, this is like a Raymond Carver story
(36:56):
or something. It's the endemic loneliness of society, you know,
like the figure that you don't even know what's driving
this person with the gun to put Ruine in this
position and how it carries through his life, you know.
Is it's almost like something that'd be explored in literature,
you know, like and have it disrupt that natural area,
(37:21):
and it's just it's the story. One of the stories
I did too. They encounter a shooter and her immediate
feeling for him was I don't have any hatred or anger.
I just wish they could have felt this love that
I have, you know, like he had with the relationship
with his dog. You know, I just think that that
was his instinct. Is so interesting that, you know, rather
than trying to flee or think of inflicting harm on
(37:44):
this person, he was just like, I just wish you
could feel this love.
Speaker 6 (37:47):
Yeah, yeah, I agree. That was really beautiful.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Next time I'm alive again, we meet Dory Nolt, who
nearly died after a routine cesarean section due to medical negligence.
Her journey of healing and overcoming the trauma highlights the
maternal mortality crisis in the US.
Speaker 8 (38:09):
Research tells us number one women are ignored by medical professionals,
but also women ignore themselves. This changed how I saw
my own mortality. I was laid out by this infection,
and when I almost died and I was so weak,
it certainly made me see how fragile life actually is,
(38:32):
and my life especially.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Our story producers are Dan Bush, Kate Sweeney, Brent die,
Nicholas Dakowski, and Lauren Vogelba music by Ben Lovett, additional
music by Alexander Rodriguez. Our executive producers are Matthew Frederick
and Trevor Young Special. Thanks to Alexander Williams for additional
production support. Our studio engineers are Rima L. Kali and
(38:57):
Noames Griffin. Our editors are Dan Grhartslovic Got, Brent Die
and Alexander Rodriguez. Mixing by Ben love It and Alexander Rodriguez.
I'm your host Dan Bush Special. Thanks to Rune Pullback
for sharing his story. Alive Again is a production of
IRT Radio and Psychopia Pictures. If you have a transformative
(39:18):
near death experience to share, we'd love to hear your story.
Please email us at Alive Again Project at gmail dot com.
That's a l I v e A g A I
N p R O j E c T at gmail
dot com.
You're listening to Alive Again, a production of Psychopia Pictures
and iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
My name is Ruine Colbert. Several years ago, shortly after
I moved to Anchorage, Alaska, I hoped down the barrel
of a gun in a public park and my world
changed forever. I'm not a hero. I did the wrong thing.
(00:36):
Those stories of those people in the middle who aren't
the hero, I mean they might be somewhat of a
villain for not fulfilling there what we generally think of
as our human obligation to do the right thing at
the right time.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Welcome to Alive Again, a podcast that should cases miraculous
accounts of human fragility and resilience from people his lives
were forever altered after having almost died. These are first
hand accounts of near death experiences and more broadly, brushes
with death. Our mission is simple, find, explore, and share
(01:17):
these stories to remind us all of our shared human condition.
Please keep in mind these stories are true and maybe
triggering for some listener. Discretion is advised.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
I grew up in the agricultural Midwest, where when I
would step out of the house, I would look out
and see miles and miles of cornfields, and like some
of my earliest memories are being able to go outside
and I would hear that the little metal flap on
(01:56):
the hog troughs close whenever hogs were done eating, and
you could hear that closing of the flat for miles.
There was really like nothing blocking that sound. And so
I was really lucky as a kid. I was able
to just go outside and play. Summers off from school
just involved roaming the creeks and timbers and bicycling to
(02:20):
different farm ponds to bass fish. I look back and
I was really lucky. It was a great childhood. It
was a strange path, but it ended up going through
college and living in some larger cities. And I met
a couple who had worked seasonally in Alaska for a
(02:44):
lot of years, and they kept telling me, room, you
got to come up to Alaska. You'll like it. And
I got the opportunity and I did. I ended up
flying back to the Midwest and I had a car,
and storage got in the car and drove to Alaska.
There was this point it's called the alcan Highway, the
(03:05):
Alaska Canada Highway, and this was before I mean, you
could have a GPS I'm sure, but this is at
a time when I think most people just had an
atlas and would drive from the map. And so there's
this section of the highway that it weaves back and
forth between British Columbia and the Yukon, and there was
(03:28):
mountainous forests everywhere. I hadn't seen a car in probably
an hour, and I had this like revelation that I
was like, this is the most beautiful place I've ever been.
This feels more like home than any place I've ever been.
(03:52):
When I landed like permanently in Alaska, I lived about
an hour from work in Anchorage. There's a little farm
town called Palmer. Lived about fifteen minutes outside of that town,
and it was maybe a six hundred square foot a
(04:12):
framed cabin on about five acres. Rarely head moose coming
through the yard. It was I mean, I would say
I found my like the Rovian ideal and really enjoyed
it there. I was living alone in that cabin for
several years and Headlfe arranged where I could have a dog.
(04:35):
I really lucked out finding Birdie, I referred to as
a flat coated retriever, but she was a whole mix
of different breeds, and the same day I got her,
we would be outside exploring the yard, come back inside.
We're going in and outside, and one of the times
(04:55):
I opened the door and then I hid behind it.
I wanted to see what she and then once she
came in, she was kind of frantically looking for me,
and then I jumped out behind the door and scared
her and she loved it. And it wasn't five minutes
later that we were going back outside again. I let
her out and I was doing something in the kitchen,
(05:18):
then stepped out onto the deck and she was gone,
and it was like I would panic. It was like
I just got this dog. I thought we were having fun.
She ran off and as I stepped off the deck,
(05:38):
she came from behind the steps in under it and
just put her nose on my hand and scared me.
And like it was it was at that moment that
I knew that this was the right dog for me.
By one of the benefits of this place that I lived,
it was just miles of hiking. Over the next several weeks,
we would just we would go for walks and she
(06:00):
was always two steps behind me, and eventually I stopped
and I said, do you want to go first? And
her ears perked up and she ran in front. Yeah.
We were a great team, but being able to live
at that place and then commute to the larger city
of Anchorage for work was practically impossible. And then the
(06:28):
dating and farm town didn't go very well. There weren't
there were not very many people to choose from. Ended
up finding someone who lived in Anchorage and she wasn't
leaving Anchorage, so that led to me moving into Anchorage.
And Anchorage is by far the largest city I've ever
(06:50):
lived in. I hadn't been living in Anchorage very long,
and at the time I was a pretty avid runner.
Running like it clarifies the brain somehow, or I don't
even I don't even know what it does, but there's
(07:10):
some sort of clear thinking that happens during a run
or after a run, or something along those lines. And
when I lived out in Palmer, I mean I loved it.
I would take the dog Bertie for runs all the time,
even if it was twenty below we would go out.
And one of the things that I enjoyed most about
(07:31):
it out there was I lived rural enough I did
not have to put her on a leash we could go.
She knew the route, but she was a fantastic dog.
And we got to a point that we would be
about a core mile from home and I could turn
to her and I would say, let's finish strong and
take off running, and we would race to the house
and then she would sprint and run up to the
(07:52):
door and win every time, and she'd be so proud
of winning. But we really, I mean, we just had that.
I mean, I hate I keep emphasizing how idyllic it was,
but I really had a place that I enjoyed. And
then moved to Anchorage and time to leash up the
(08:12):
dog and going for a run just wasn't the same experience.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
So it was.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
I mean, it was within a couple of weeks of
moving to town, like still getting settled in in the
big city as far as I concerned. We ran to
Earthquake Park. The parking lot for the park joins the
(08:41):
Coastal Trail. We made a turn heading down the hill
on the Coastal Trail. I mean, I can.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
See like.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
This, It's like it happened yesterday. There was a person
near the bottom of the hill and was wearing a
green jacket and walking. It was a summer day, so
I'm wearing running clothes. Even in Alaska in the summer
(09:16):
day that means like short sleeve shirt and shorts. This
person was wearing clothes that looked like they were ready
for a rainstorm, perhaps in twenty to thirty degrees, like
even colder. The person wasn't dressed for conditions, but that's
not all that unusual, Like in Alaska, you just you
(09:39):
never know, you dress for whatever weather that could happen.
But from I mean probably forty yards away, it was
like this person just doesn't it doesn't look right. And
I had no idea what it was, but it was
like something wasn't right. But I have the dog on
the leashed and I'm just trying to run and clear
(10:01):
my head. And as I approached, I could see his
face really clearly, and it was like his face just
looked gray, like it just it didn't have the right complexion,
and it looked like there was just he was having
(10:23):
a really bad day and he was just like mulling
over something that was I don't know, eating away at
him or I don't know what, but it was like
this person just doesn't This person's been having a bad
time at life. Growing up in such a rural environment,
(10:45):
you know, always think that people are friendly and you
like you wave. I grew up waving to other vehicles
that I saw on the road. You know, would certainly
give a friendly smile to people when I was in
the grocery store or anywhere else, because that's I guess
that sort of like world decorum that I'm used to,
(11:06):
and so I you know, I tried to give him
a smile, and I I don't know if he was
even like looking at me or looking at my at
my face, but he lifted up his shirt and pulled
a gun out.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
It was.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
It was just so far out that I didn't necessarily
believe that what I was seeing was really happening. I mean,
there were actually quite a few things that started going
through my head, but it was just like just seeing
the gun, I was like, this is this is strange.
But I'm kind of a new person in this strange place,
(11:53):
Like it's just like this is this is different. And
then he pointed the gun at me, just like straight
straight at my body. I mean thinking about you know,
like in the wilderness part of like a Denali experience
(12:19):
pretty often would be seeing snowshoe hairs, and generally that
leads to conversations about fight or flight, right, And that's
the typical responses that anyone engages in when they have
some sort of dangerous encounter. But snowshoe hairs have like
(12:39):
they have a different response, and not that they don't
don't run, but their first stage is just like freeze
up and stay still and rely on camouflage. And so
you know, I a lot end up making fun of
the snowshoe hair is like they got the number three right,
they have the freeze up. But then essentially that's what
(13:04):
that's what I did along the trail was I just
was like it was just so paralyzed that I didn't
I didn't understand this situation. I just I didn't know.
I didn't know what to do. And I certainly have
a lot of thoughts about what I would have liked
to have done differently, but.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Like I had.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
All I could do is I just like smiled at
him and I looked down at the dog, and I
was like, I guess accepting that I that I was
gonna die m and I didn't know if he would
kill the dog too, Like that was by who I
(13:57):
was thinking about. Was Bertie just watching her and basically
just waiting for her to happen. She looked up at
me several times, like she's always always checking in with me.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
There's some stranger.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
And I mean it sounds silly, but often when you
encounter someone, you smile and they and they smile back right,
and there's this exchange that takes place, and even if
that person is sad like most times, they're still able
to smile back. And it sounds like so silly, but
(14:39):
I really believe that you give them some of your
happiness that at least gives them that ability to smile.
So so that's what I did, Like I was looking
down at Bertie, just trying to give the man a
little bit of the happiness that I had in my life.
I can still see, like flat coded retrievers have long
(15:02):
fur like a golden retriever, and so I can still
see like that long fur hanging off of her ears,
and when she would run, the wind would just cause
that to go back just a little bit. I've replayed
it a lot, and I had like such a strong
bond with her that like even with a loud gunshot,
(15:26):
I don't think she would have left me ran off,
she would have she would have stayed, And I mean,
I'll never know, but I really can't help but think
that because I didn't play his game like whatever he
wanted me to do as far as responding, and I
just I just looked at the dog that like that
(15:50):
helped save my life, right because he probably wanted me
to be scared. I don't know, like what chess moves
a person like that is making. But yeah, I didn't
play that game, like, I didn't play the same game
as him, And if I were running alone, it would
have been a different game. But I had Birdie next
(16:11):
to me the whole encounter. I mean, it just took seconds,
but it felt like it felt like an eternity. It
was playing out enough that I kept being surprised that
(16:33):
I wasn't dead yet, or I guess it was more
of the opposite of being surprised I was still alive.
Eventually I was right next to him and he just
like lowered the gun and put it back, put it
back in his pants, And it was like, right at
(16:54):
that moment that I heard people talking behind me. They
must have just entered the tree like how I had,
And so I don't know he he made the decision
not to kill me because I guess there were some
witnesses or something, I don't know, and they would have
been too far away for him to shoot. Like I really,
(17:15):
I have no idea, But getting past him just took
I could just took all the breath out of me.
It just like my legs. I could hardly I could
hardly walk, but I just I had to keep going.
There was a curve in the trail, and I was like,
I just I have to get around this curve. And yeah,
(17:37):
I made.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
It there and just just watched.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I couldn't move, so I was enough around the curve
that there were some rather thick trees that I could
kind of keep between even though the distance was growing,
but I could keep between myself and that person, and
(18:06):
I was able to watch. It was these two they
seemed like they were in high school. Maybe they were
in college, but these just these two kids by just
walking down the hill and they just they just walked
right by him, didn't take any notice of him or anything.
So like I was in such disbelief or my head
(18:27):
was spinning that I needed like to like really understand
this situation. It's like, I think I needed him to
pull the gun on them, and then from their reaction
that would have solidified that that had really happened, but
they just they just walked by, and it was it
(18:48):
was just even it was just even more mind boggling.
And then a bicyclist came by the other direction, and
I wanted, I wanted to stop him, but I don't know,
I wasn't able to. But I I just it was
like I need some sort of confirmation and I didn't
(19:08):
get it.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
It was just.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
It was like my my brain had been put in
a blender, and so I ended up like I couldn't.
I just couldn't run anymore. I tried to run home,
but I couldn't. I couldn't run home, ended up doing
this combination of walking and running. I listened for gunshots.
(19:35):
I was like, is I give me, give me something real?
And then ended up at home. So I just I
waited to watch the news that night. Did someone get
shot or did other people experience you know, I was
looking through the newspaper, was looking for anything that could
(19:56):
confirm what had happened had actually happened, and there wasn't there.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
There wasn't anything, so.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
I just tried to go about normal life. Tried to
go for a run the next day, but I didn't
make it out of the neighborhood. I just couldn't do it.
Even for years afterwards, would have friends that would try
to say, Hey, let's go cross country skiing along the
trail or whatever, and I just couldn't go to that place,
(20:29):
and felt really good when we moved away. Weeks had
gone by, and it was actually a Huffington Post article
that said that Anchorage has a serial killer, right, and
so it came from outside of Alaska, big headlines serial
(20:51):
killer in Anchorage on the trail system, which is exactly
where I was, and like so there suddenly there's validation
that the experience I had, like really had, which then
like mentally elevated it even more. But it also it
(21:12):
also brought in a lot of guilt for not going
to the police, and that's a lot of guilt I
still have to this day, because I by the time
I had learned about the serial killers, so much time
(21:34):
had passed that I didn't feel like I could offer
anything valuable, and more people died. If I would have
gone to the authorities, I could have done something different.
(21:54):
And helped it at least helped the police do their jobs.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I just.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
It's really hard to explain, explain a situation because it
was just such it's just so surreal. I mean, I
look back and I would have done a lot of
things differently, but at the time, I kin don't know.
I was just trying to get through one day to
get to the next.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
I guess.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Weeks after we learned that there was a serial killer
on the trails, they finally showed a like a photo.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
They had an.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Artist's sketch and that was it was. That was him,
and and then the news story where a police officer
had had shot and killed him. The experience has just
totally changed my personality and the ways that I'm able
(23:00):
to deal with people. It just rears itself. It just
comes back. There's no way to predict.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
It's just there.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
It's just blooming. I try to find ways to understand
my behavior, and I think about the like hundreds experiences
I've had around grizzly bears. At one time, I was
(23:32):
fishing with a buddy during the salmon run, and bears
know when the salmon run is happening too. There was
a limit of three sack eyed salmon. So trying to
just get the limit and go. But as we were fishing,
I heard splashing coming up a side stream behind me,
and it was two young bears. The term is sub adults.
(23:55):
One of the problems with some adults is they're in
that teenager stage where they push boundary, because that's what
happens with teenagers. And so these bears they looked at me,
I looked at each other, and then kept coming and
they did that multiple times, to the point that they're
now twenty feet away. I think my buddy is behind me.
(24:18):
Neither one of us had brought bear spray, neither one
of us had brought a gun. We were just going
to catch our fish and go. And I didn't know
what else to do, but I charged the bears, shouted
as loud as I could, and I ran at down
and they took off, running out of the screen into
the woods. Could hear them crashing through the forests. And
(24:39):
then of course we gathered up our fish and gear
and just left. That sort of being in the outdoors,
I would say, is where I have found peace. I mean,
probably all my life, and that's the life that I enjoy,
(25:00):
and the life that has always been difficult for me
is you know, the wilderness of people, I guess, which
is one of the reasons why the big city feels
uncomfortable to me, and probably one of the reasons why
I didn't understand the experience with the man was just
(25:21):
because I don't know. I can't read people in the
same way that I can read stuff in the outdoors.
Acridge has had no shortage of serial killers. There's this guy,
(25:42):
he abducted a girl from a coffee stand. I don't
remember those details entirely, but there was a young person
that I was working with at the time who just
met just like had started forming this working relationship, and
all of a sudd and like she just she just vanished.
(26:03):
And then several weeks later she shows up and she's distraught.
She's just a totally different person. But it turns out
she was supposed to have been working that night in
the coffee stand, and the only reason she wasn't at
work was because she had to trade schedules. She saw herself,
(26:26):
she could have she could have been that person, and
she wasn't in a good place. And I believe I
told her, you know, after she shared that information, she
should feel lucky, she should feel lucky to be alive.
She didn't. That was so far, so far off the radar. Yeah,
(26:52):
and then.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
You have that same experience or someone someone says you
should feel lucky to be alive, and it's just not
you just that's not the situation, Like the pain involved
to reach that, it's easier to just bury it.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
You are able to feel deeply a measure of compassion
for her, the person who was working at the coffee stand.
What do you make of the.
Speaker 6 (27:32):
Fact that you're unable to sort of extend the same
just kind of simple compassion to yourself.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Good question, Kate. I don't know, really, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
I don't know if I if I have an answer
to that.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
I guess.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
In a lot of ways, I would prefer to be
having this conversation today, just because it it just dredges
up so much. I don't know why why I'm sharing
the story. I don't I certainly I'm not a hero.
(28:19):
I did the wrong thing. So I guess if there's
any if I can find any positive thing to say
about sharing the story now, it's maybe that there's some
other people out there that that can hear it and
realize that they're not alone in some of the experiences
(28:40):
they've had. In story culture, there's like quite often a
you know, the strong distinction between hero and villain, those
stories of those people in the middle who aren't the hero.
(29:00):
I mean, they might be somewhat of a villain for
not fulfilling there what we generally think of as our
human obligation to do the right thing at the right time.
For whatever reason, they might not they just might not
have their head on right to be able to do that.
But that's not typically, that's not part of our story
(29:22):
telling culture. We like actual heroes and villains because that
has an ending. It leads to somewhere, and it leads
to some sort of climax with the resolution. But a
lot of stuff in our lives.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Doesn't have that.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Life itself keeps going forward.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Welcome back, this Isn't Live Again.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Joining me for a conversation about today's story are my
other Alive Against story producers Kate Sweeney, Nicholas Dakowski, and
Brent Dye, and I'm your host Dan Bush. Today's episode
it covers a really fascinating story and though in this story,
the brush with death is not one that's as physical.
(30:36):
It is a real adventure in what it does to
your mind to be under such a threat. And I
found it fascinating. Can you tell me some more about
why you Kate, why you chose the story, of why
you were attracted to the story.
Speaker 6 (30:52):
I mean, this was somebody just going through his every
day the way that you and I might, you know,
here walking on a public trail when suddenly his life
is completely upended and somebody pulls a gun on him.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
So what's your takeaway from this story?
Speaker 6 (31:16):
This was a tough one, Dan, And you know, to
be honest, you know, after talking with Rune, this experience
of hearing his story and interviewing him stuck with me
like kind of really bone deep for weeks and weeks,
mainly because of the guilt that he says he still
(31:39):
carries around with him, because you know, you want to
in part, you know, my role is I'm the interviewer,
but I wanted to be able to maybe kind of
do some of what his coworker wanted to do for
him and what he wanted to do for his other
coworker when they're in this really difficult spots in their life,
to kind of like make them feel empathy for themselves.
(32:06):
You know, of course, being traumatized can put us into
a place where we can't be expected to behave practically,
And you know, I could see him holding himself to
this standard of like, you know, I should have I
should have told the cops, I should have tackled this
(32:30):
guy on the trail. Lots of I should have. And
I think we all tend to do things like that
or tend to say I should have in situation. Yeah,
we tend to have these sort of replays with situations
like this, and I think it's essential to be able
to offer ourselves the same grace that we'd offer to
other people. And I think of friends I had in college,
(32:57):
you know, who experienced sexual assact And it might have
been like some guy that everybody knew, and they didn't
turn that person in, but we their friends didn't expect
them to because we all knew what what that friend
(33:19):
would be in for should she do that. But also,
but above and even beyond that sort of being able
to have that empathy for that person, like, no, you're
in this traumatized place, the onus isn't now on you.
So I mean, my main, my main sort of feeling.
Still is my sincere hope that Rune. I mean, I
(33:45):
you know, I got to know him. He's a sympathetic,
warm caring, very sensitive individual.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
I hope that.
Speaker 6 (33:55):
At some point he's able to have this experience is
never going to go away. Right now, he wishes that
it would just go away, and I get that, but
I wish for him the ability to forgive himself, to
forgive himself, yeah, and to have this be a thing
(34:15):
that happened to him and not a thing that keeps
happening to him.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
It's funny because all we are privy to usually is
the hero story. He We're privy too, like we hit.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
A lot of we don't ever hear about all.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
The people who had encounters and were so human and
you know they reacted in a different way, which is
human exactly. And you know, we're held to this narrative
standard that's part of the mythology of our culture. That's like, oh, well,
(34:51):
you should have done something. You should have been a hero.
You should have tackled the guy to the ground and
wrestled the gun from him. You should have gone to
the cops and together you would have searched and found
this guy and saved others and that that's an unrealistic
uh sort of, that's an unrealistic expectation of a human being. Yeah,
and those those hero stories, there's there may be something
(35:14):
else going on there. You know a lot of times
when I hear about people who did react and did
do something dramatic to try to save the day, they're
coming off of some other strange guilt.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Yeah. I don't.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
I don't know the process of self forgiveness. Like you know,
a lot of people have Jesus or they have some
other sort of transcendent thing that can help them in
that process.
Speaker 4 (35:39):
Maybe.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
But you know, if if you're left to your own devices,
how do you cope with that experience? And I can
I can only imagine the PTSD of that guilt and anyway.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Yeah, yeah, can I say too.
Speaker 6 (35:54):
I was also so moved by the just the sensory
details that he included in the story, like his memories
from childhood of hearing the creaking of the hog trough
across the miles when he's off, you know, playing, or
that other moment on the Alcan Highway of realizing, in
this moment, this is my home. It's just beautiful you know,
(36:18):
I'm just amazed at people who found a spot on
the on the globe that their spirit feels really connected to.
Speaker 5 (36:24):
I love that.
Speaker 6 (36:25):
But I'm also really grateful to Run for being able
to share those beautiful moments with us in the midst
of this very difficult story.
Speaker 7 (36:35):
It's almost like it's almost like the the man with
the gun is this human intrusion into this unique place
of nature that he's found, Like it's bringing the loneliness
of the dog and there. Yeah, like he's bringing Like
when you told the story to us at Waller's Coffee House,
I was thinking, this is like a Raymond Carver story
(36:56):
or something. It's the endemic loneliness of society, you know,
like the figure that you don't even know what's driving
this person with the gun to put Ruine in this
position and how it carries through his life, you know.
Is it's almost like something that'd be explored in literature,
you know, like and have it disrupt that natural area,
(37:21):
and it's just it's the story. One of the stories
I did too. They encounter a shooter and her immediate
feeling for him was I don't have any hatred or anger.
I just wish they could have felt this love that
I have, you know, like he had with the relationship
with his dog. You know, I just think that that
was his instinct. Is so interesting that, you know, rather
than trying to flee or think of inflicting harm on
(37:44):
this person, he was just like, I just wish you
could feel this love.
Speaker 6 (37:47):
Yeah, yeah, I agree. That was really beautiful.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Next time I'm alive again, we meet Dory Nolt, who
nearly died after a routine cesarean section due to medical negligence.
Her journey of healing and overcoming the trauma highlights the
maternal mortality crisis in the US.
Speaker 8 (38:09):
Research tells us number one women are ignored by medical professionals,
but also women ignore themselves. This changed how I saw
my own mortality. I was laid out by this infection,
and when I almost died and I was so weak,
it certainly made me see how fragile life actually is,
(38:32):
and my life especially.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Our story producers are Dan Bush, Kate Sweeney, Brent die,
Nicholas Dakowski, and Lauren Vogelba music by Ben Lovett, additional
music by Alexander Rodriguez. Our executive producers are Matthew Frederick
and Trevor Young Special. Thanks to Alexander Williams for additional
production support. Our studio engineers are Rima L. Kali and
(38:57):
Noames Griffin. Our editors are Dan Grhartslovic Got, Brent Die
and Alexander Rodriguez. Mixing by Ben love It and Alexander Rodriguez.
I'm your host Dan Bush Special. Thanks to Rune Pullback
for sharing his story. Alive Again is a production of
IRT Radio and Psychopia Pictures. If you have a transformative
(39:18):
near death experience to share, we'd love to hear your story.
Please email us at Alive Again Project at gmail dot com.
That's a l I v e A g A I
N p R O j E c T at gmail
dot com.
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