January 2, 2024 • 39 mins
Amy and T.J. share wisdom gained in 2023 from casseroles to Christopher Cross.
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hey everybody, Hey, me and TJ here and we have
a special first of the year episode of our podcast
Here for You that is actually inspired by Ava Monroe.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Yes, my daughter, Yes, twenty one years old actually now,
and she is a very wise young woman. She always
has been. And she showed me yesterday that she made
a list. She actually put it up on Instagram things
I've learned this past year. And her list was very
(00:36):
very cool. It went from being insightful we can't necessarily
choose how we will react, but we can choose how
we will respond things like that, and then I think
she ended it with always jump in the water, even
when it's cold. But it was a cute list that
made us all think, and so we thought we might
come up with our own list and encourage other people
(00:58):
to do the same a list.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Yes, we've had a hell of a year. I guess
we should say, first of all, to everybody, a happy
New Year Year carry twenty twenty four. That has happened
so a lot of people turning the page. At a
part of turning that page sometimes you do have to
look back and take those lessons with you into the
new year. So, based on and again inspired by Aba Munroe.
We had some other ideas we were throwing around about
(01:21):
this podcast, but we kind of liked that when and
we got plenty of lessons we learned the past year
that we could pass along or things were going to
take with us. But we both made lists, but we
haven't seen each other's list. So Robock has a list
of how many of you got?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I think I have just under thirty.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Okay, I was up to about thirty seven.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
You won.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
It wasn't a competition, but it was, but if it was.
But these are all so we haven't seen each other,
so I am very curious to how this is going
to go. So you want to kick things off, we'll
just go back and forth.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Okay, I don't even know which one to start with.
But choosing love is always worth it, and it's always
worth it.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Okay. My first was there are some friendships I lost
in twenty twenty three that will never come back, and
I need to deal with that.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Yeah, it's an important lesson to learn. I learned. Seeing
my daughters happy is my greatest joy. Seeing them sad
is my deepest pain.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Good Lord, and I have seen that. I don't know
how many people, maybe your parents outside of me. I
have seen what it means to you when those two
aren't okay, and even worse when they aren't okay and
you think you're responsible for them not being okay. I
have seen that, so definitely that's true.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
And we've ended on a very high note. Yes, I
have to say my greatest joy. I just want to
add that this season has been seeing my daughters happy again.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yes, and you all have been bouncing off the walls
for the past couple of weeks, and that's been great.
It's been great to see you. Actually, it kind of
built up after the trip, the Thanksgiving trip yep, that
you all took, so you all have. It's been very
fun to watch you girls. My next one here is
limiting access to you doesn't make you arrogant. It makes
you purposeful and means you're intentional. It's okay to be
(03:02):
discerning about who's around you. It's not you being arrogant.
It's okay.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
I like that, all right. I learned that friendship companionship
is as important, if not more important, than chemistry, Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
I learned in twenty twenty three that just because you're busy,
that doesn't mean you're doing a good job, or that
you're getting a lot done.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
That is true. I've learned that you don't really know
someone until you divorce them.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Moving on, My next one is I learned in twenty
twenty three that forgiveness has nothing to do with the
other person. It has everything to do with me.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
I've learned in twenty twenty three that you can lose
your job, you can lose your reputation, you can lose friends,
and you can lose most of your worldly possessions and
still be happy.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Well, you lost most of your worthly I did.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
There was a lot of selling going on. Oh you
a giving away.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Oh it was a great yard cell. It was a
great yard cell. My next and twenty twenty three, I
learned that you should not let your bad days trick
you into thinking you have a bad life.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
I like that. I learned that yellow roses make me smile.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Yeah, I learned they make you smile too. They make
me smile. Now, I love that story. We'll get back
into that. We'll do a whole episode on the age
of innocence. That's a whole episode on it. My next
one in twenty twenty three, I learned that it's very
difficult to find a bar that can make a good
skinny marguerite. Oh you know what.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
On that note, I learned that April spritzes are even
better when you skip the club soda.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
And I learned in twenty twenty three that Gay Beach
in Portovararta will forever be one of my favorite places.
This is I have ever visited on vacation.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
That is amazing. I learned in twenty twenty three that
I actually like oysters.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Ah, yes, I was there for that. I learned in
twenty twenty three that worry is not going to take
away tomorrow's troubles. Rather, it's just going to take away
today's peace.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Wow. I learned that Prince has so many songs that
I had never heard of before, and I like them all.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
And you are welcome for that. I learned in twenty
twenty three that people have a tendency to judge you
for your worst actions, but they judge themselves by their
best intentions. That is so true.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I learned not to be invested in outcomes twenty twenty three.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I learned you can't depend on karma being a bitch,
because sometimes good things happen to bad people. Sorry, it's
just the.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Way it goes. I learned that it's you're gonna love
this one. It's better to fall into like and then
walk into love. Ah, God, should I deliver that with
the appropriate cheesiness?
Speaker 1 (06:16):
So you fell in like and then walked in love.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I chose love after falling into like. I couldn't help
how much I liked you. I just always liked being
around like.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
With me, I did. They kind of stumbled into love.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I purposefully walked into love.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Like you tripped.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
There was a stumble or two. I still love a bruises,
but it's okay.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
I learned in twenty twenty three that the smartest person
in the room is often the one who realizes just
how little they know.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yes, I think Socrates has a quote saying the wisest
man in the world is the man who knows he
knows nothing.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
There it is.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
It's one of my absolute favorite quotes.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Well, I've seen it play out a little more this
past year.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Yes, I hear you. I learned that I am apparently
always off rhythm because I dance on the ones and threes.
I snap my fingers on the ones in threes.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Okay, that's actually on my list that I learned in
twenty twenty three that Robot dances to music on the
one and three notes. This. Look, this is it's our thing.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I want to expand it a little because it's not
just me perhaps.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
No, it's all of you, No, a lot.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
This is fascinating to be there.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
It is, but you didn't know it until I started
pointing it out. And it is. And people talk about
white people can't dance, and white people off beat or
off rhythm and all this, but it comes from ye.
I've seen this happen as music's playing. It doesn't matter
how banging of a hip hop hit it might be,
and how dope the beat is. You are going on
a one and a three, which is the exact opposite
(07:56):
of me and a lot of people I know of
black people.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah, of a certain color, you're gonna say, you all
dance on the twos and.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Fours in it's a the clap, the beat, the rhythm,
it's the two. It's natural. So when I tried to
do a one in three with you, I was like,
how in God's name are you doing this?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
And I feel the same way about the twos and fours.
I've tried and I can't do it. It's so counterintuitive
to me, and I never realized that that was the
thing until you pointed it out. And so we've tested
it on people, and it's kind of true.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Just have you just had you watch the room and
look at the beat that some of your folks were.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
That was a big lesson I learned.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
But we've had fun.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Oh my goodness, was that yours then? So it's my
turn again? All right? I've learned that wipe Out is
perhaps the best show on television.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
The original older version version of you like the new
John Cena version.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
I like them both, but old school's kind of cool
because they said things and comment on things that would
never be allowed now. I think you would actually get canceled.
So it's kind of fun like you're watching something you
shouldn't be. I enjoy it immensely.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
With a new version two they but I think maybe
because they're on cable they can get away with some
things as well. But I don't know why that show
is just continues to do it for us. It delivers
every time, all right?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Me?
Speaker 1 (09:18):
In twenty twenty three, I learned that it doesn't matter
how many times I watch them. Elf and Love actually
are just two movies. I am never going to be into.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
That is such a shame because those are two of
my favorites. I know, And I'm still trying to get
you to watch The Holiday. Well I did, Well, did
you actually watch it? See you say you watch movies
and then you don't.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
I'm remembering now, we watched it. It was on a
plane and I didn't have the audio.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
All that's correct.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I saw what was happening, and turns out I guessed
every scene correctly.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
That's the thing with rom comms. They're predictable, and that's
why people like them because they know what they're gonna get.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Yeah, yeah, I tried, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
You're there. Usually aren't twists to a rom pound like
you know exactly that at the end they're going to
get together. Right. In twenty twenty three, I learned that
TJ's chimmy cherry sauce is the bomb.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
All right, Yeah, that's good, that's good stuff, all right.
Twenty and twenty three I learned that sometimes people have
to pretend you're a bad person just so they don't
have to feel guilty about the things they.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Do to you. Well, in twenty twenty three, I learned
that I like holding hands. You just learned this right,
because I think if you can remember, I used to
say to you, and this was a joke. I wasn't
a hugger and I didn't like the hold hands. And
now I.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Know about the hugging thing. Is everybody around you never
wanted to hug anybody, given your own children.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Stock Well, it's just I don't know. I don't know
if you're born that way, if you grew up a
certain family dynamic. But I just was never a big
hugger and never a big handholder. And it doesn't mean
that I didn't have strong feelings of love and friendship
for people. It's just not how I expressed myself. But
I now holding hands.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Why but you said it has nothing to do with
any level of love or affection. But why did some
switch flip you?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I like holding your hand.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Because I moisturized? Is that what it is? I have
very soft No.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
You made me feel safe. I don't know. I like
holding your hand. So that was a big about pace
and I learned that about myself. But maybe it was
just I needed you in my.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Life, all right. You are you always reach for my hand,
even if my hand is in my pocket. You'll still
put your arm I do, and interlock in some way.
You do as everybody has seen, probably right.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I'm pretty sure it's been documented.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Twenty three.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I learned.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I learned that white people really love casseroles. I didn't
know how much we do.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
And you know, I made a great one for Christmas
for the girls. It's my mom's potato casserole. It's got
hash browns, cream of chicken soup, canned Campbell's. Usually, it's
got sour cream in it. It's got a lot of
shredded cheese in it. And oh, one of the magical
parts about it. You saute green onions in butter first,
(12:29):
and you mix it all together. Then you squish it
all into the castrole dish. And here is the other
amazing part of it. You get some corn flakes, you
crunch them all, you spread them all over the top,
and then you melt butter and drizzle the butter over
the corn flakes. You bake it in the oven at
four hundred for forty minutes. Oh yeah, and you will
(12:50):
not have tasted anything better in your life.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Are there raisins in there somewhere in this one?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Oh? Raisins are a staple and a lot of cash roles.
I'm not a fan of that. To put that on
the record.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
It's a weird. But there are another that you said that,
the potato one, and there's a I swear there's another one.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
A lot of them have cans of soup in them.
Oh I mean, oh, yes, I've made like a spaghetti
casserole where you put it in and you've got the
cheese on top, you melt it. My grandmother used to
always make that. Okay, it's just it's a it's an
easy dish that's tasty that you can serve up easily
for a lot of people. The look on your.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Face discussed No, I learned. I've never been a castle
roll guy. I have never liked the castle role. I
didn't grow up around crest castle roles at all. But
to see you not just that you can make one
or two or three, like your level of enthusiasm for
a castlerole and you're like, oh, the girls are going
(13:47):
to adjust did like they're begging for a castle role?
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Is they are? That's actually not an understatement, I know,
I know.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
So I learned that I was going.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
To bring some over to you, but it was all
gone The.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Next year how when is Easter.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
I'll keep on the food theme because I learned this
year that I can't always eat the way I do
when I'm training for a marathon.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
Again, the running is just an excuse for how you
want to eat.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
But when you're training for a marathons, sometimes you're running
up to forty miles a week, so you can kind
of eat almost anything and justify it because you need
the fuel. You need to replenish the lycochen that was
lost in your legs, et cetera. Now, I think if
anyone out there has followed me for some time, they
know that I was a hardcore keto head for a while,
(14:41):
and I still like to not have carbs or at
least get my only carbs for vegetables. But when i'm running, well,
excuses anyway. The last month has taught me that I
need to go back to my old way of being
more healthy in my choices. But yes, that was a
lesson learned.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
You know what are we going to do the New
York City half?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Well, that's up to you, because you learned that you
don't like cold running in the cold.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
You know what, In fact, I think I'll skip down
to one of these that I have on my list
that has to do with the cold. Where is it here?
It is? I learned in twenty twenty three that I
hate running in the cold, but I hate running on
a treadmill even more so. I hate the cold. Yes,
(15:31):
we talked about it. That half marathon this year. I
think it was in the teens when it started, and
it was the worst run of my life, training run
or actual race.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
It was the worst of my life and it was
the best of my life. It actually was a personal
record for me. But you could argue that it was
because we just wanted it to be over so quickly.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I sure did, but I was still following you the
whole time. And man, it was great to get to
the end. I get some water and a castle roll
in me to replenish.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
All Right, more lessons learned coming up? All right, more
lessons learned in twenty twenty three that hopefully we can
put to good use in this new year. In twenty
twenty three, I learned that my family is awesome. Like
(16:20):
I already knew, they were mostly awesome, but they were
extra awesome.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Yeah, this was a special year in a lot of ways,
in those relationships. That's all that happen in unfold, so
that is a good one. I learned in twenty twenty
three that some of the best weight you can ever
lose is the weight of other people's opinion of you.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
I like what you did there, that's very cool. I
learned that there are more kind people in the world
than me.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
I learned that multitasking is not something to be proud of.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
That. I learned that surrendering is powerful. It seems like
it might be weak when you hear the word surrender,
pull up the white flag. But when you really surrender
to whatever is happening, that is where your true power lies.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Got it tattooed on my arm surrender as a nice
little reminder of what you just said. What else? I
learned in twenty twenty three that it's not change that's
actually painful, it's your resistance to it that causes you
the pain.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I learned that I never want to go back to
the grind of morning television. And I learned that I
don't miss the job. I miss the people agree with you.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
There. I learned in twenty twenty three that what other
people think of you is actually none of yo damn business.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
I learned the horror movies actually help my mood when
I'm down or sad, and I think the reasoning behind
it is at least I'm not being possessed by a demon.
I mean, it could be worse.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I was following you. I didn't know you were going
to go with some really twisted logic there at the end.
I'm not feeling good today, Let's watch a slasher.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Well have we not done that a lot?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Well, we watched them anyway, we don't watch them mega
selves feel better?
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Were we watching them every day before last year? No?
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Well, we were going to work.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Oh yeah, we had structured days back then and probably
didn't have time to watch horror movies.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
We have no structure.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Now, do you have a few favorites from this year?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Favorite horror movies?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
We've seen so many?
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Oh, the first thing out of your mouth has to
be talked to me.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
That is what I have down to.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
It has to be the first thing out of that
was so good, Oh my yead oscar worthy good? Yeah,
that is where I will skip down on my list.
In twenty twenty three, I learned that I would be
willing to campaign for Sophie Wild to get an Oscar
nomination for her role in Talk to Me. If y'all
(19:19):
haven't seen this movie, you get on it today.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
It is. There were so many good horror movies this year.
Evil Dead Rise Ooh, that was brilliant. And I didn't
even realize it was a whole and someone who watches
and is considers herself a horror movie officianadn't. I did
not even know it was a whole series. The dates
back into the nineteen seventies.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Even I think they've only made five still, five or
six of them worth the weight O movie. Okay, that
movie is amazing, but yeah, Sophie Wild and get to
your point talk to Me, Oh, that is the movie
of the year for me.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
I've learned, and I guess this goes back to my
worldly objects losing most of them. But I've learned that
material objects are meaningless.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Twenty twenty three, I learned that tabloid stories aren't reported,
they're planted. I got all education in this this year.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
That's a good one and very true. In twenty twenty three,
I learned, and this was surprising to me, that I
sleep better now that I'm living authentically. It actually has
had a huge impact on my sleeping before, and I
think you'll know this. I've talked about this. I was
either taking melotonin sometimes I would take trazodone to try
(20:35):
and sleep. I would have white noise blaring. I couldn't
sleep unless it was on. And I had to play
Candy Crush for like ten minutes before I tried to
go to sleep, to quiet my brain and to just
kind of numb myself in a way. I had to
do all of those things sometimes together, but at least
(20:55):
one of those things had to be in place for
me to fall asleep.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Yeah, and I was familiar with your habits. It was
any time if I needed a question or I need
to text you at night, I knew say, hey, have
you done Candy Crush yet, because once you do that,
it's done.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
I'm done. But now I actually fall asleep on my
own without any sort of drug or it's noise. I
can sleep. I can sleep on planes. Now.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I still have to read you a lullaby though every night.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Yeah, that's it's my favorite part of the night. But no,
I slept on a plane the other day. I've never
been able to sleep on a plane.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
That was an exceptional twenty four hours. You had previously.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Still I can't recab I had my head on your shoulder.
And also I'm like, wait, we landed.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Oh my goodness, okay twenty twenty three? What else I learned?
My list continues with I or learned that even the
person treating you poorly is going through something. Give him
a break.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
You've said that. You know, even with some of the
photographers that were on us, that was very frustrating and
could easily make someone angry or say something or do
something that maybe they wouldn't want documented. You always took
the kind approach and you would go up to them
and say, who you're working for? Did you get your picture?
(22:25):
Hope you have a good day, And you just said, hey,
he might have a mouth to feed, and this is
the only way he can he can work. Someone's rude
on the subway. Maybe they're trying to get somewhere that
you don't know what's happened to them. You don't know
what their day has been like, you don't know what
their life is like.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Well, yeah, and sometimes people are just jerks. So there
are those folks out there. But I start with giving
somebody the benefit of the doubt, because I know Goodhill
well both of us. At some point you snapped at
somebody or something small because of something they had nothing
to do with, and just everybody's going me. Life can
be really hard, so yeah, I give people a break.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
I love that. I learned in twenty twenty three that
there are no horns where people don't hank their horns
in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Yeah, we were really amazed.
Maybe it's just our New York experience, but yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
It was in those small Maybe it's against the law,
maybe we should look that up.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
But it was remarkable. Traffic jams, people walking the street.
We never once saw anyone honk their horn, which I
loved and appreciated.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
And no, it's good to be home, back to New York.
I learned in twenty twenty three that I will never
understand why Sailing by Christopher Cross is considered such a
great song. I won't understand it. I'm respecting it, fine,
I just I don't get it.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
When you walked in the door, we were getting ready
for New Year's Eve. I was getting ready for New
Year's Eve, and I quickly raced to try and change
the music because Sailing was on and I knew you
were going to make fun of me. You were like,
this is your get ready to go out music. I
would say, sailing is good at any time of the day,
in any experience. At that moment, yes, I was enjoying it.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I came in hot, like I was ready. We had
been separated for a couple hours during the day. It
was time to get back together. We were going to
start getting to clothes together. And I put the music on,
get the drinks flowing, and I get down the hallway.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Here sailing it completely changes your mood right for the better.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
I learned in twenty twenty three that feeling misunderstood is
one of the most difficult human experiences.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
I learned that girls grow into and out of style
phases really quickly.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
That's true. And I've been able to kind of tell
you what's coming next because it's so funny to watch
the bean dress the way and Elise was dressing a
couple of years ago. So yes, more to come.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
When is when does this one in the the I
live on the streets, and.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Yes, but it's chic and none of these clothes fit me.
We call it yeah, yes, yes, I think that's what
it is. Hobo chic I've never understood that it's kind
of grunge on steroids, because I remember grunge in the nineties,
but this is taking it to a whole new level
where you actually are laughing at the clothes that they're
wearing their like XXL.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Sabine even laughed the other day that she grew out
of a phase to where she had I don't even
know what phases is where she would have her her
pants hiked up so high but then have the shirt
tucked in in the front. What is that.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
We be?
Speaker 1 (25:45):
She wanted to do that all the time, and it
drove me crazy. She even was laughing about it the
other day, like, I'm out of that one.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Well, there could be a preppy phase. I saw Eva
go through that. Then there can be what do they
call it emo? All black.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
She's with the oversize.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Yes, and it's black, black hoodie, back weatpants, oversized pants,
black boots, everything. Yeah, well, she fits right in in
New York.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Drives me crazy, is the thing.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I have learned that expectations are the root of almost
all resentments future resentments. So I've learned that when you
can and I don't ever want to lower my expectations,
of myself. But when you lower expectations of things you
cannot control, it's life is a lot easier.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
What about expectations of people? Should we not sell? Okay,
this is where I learn into trouble. Sometimes I have
an expectation of someone that I don't state, but then
sometimes they state and give me an expectation I should
now have with them, and they don't deliver on that.
So where are you in the expectations you like?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
If you're looking for peace, if you just let people
be who they are and accept them as they are,
then you can choose whether or not you want to
be around them. But if you think you're going to
change them or that you can require something of them,
I think you're setting yourself up for disappointment and yes, resentment.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
I learned in twenty twenty three that it takes a
lot of trial and error to figure out your correct
thc edible dosage. A lot of trial and error.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
How's that working for you?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
The thing is about trial and error when it comes
to thac edibles. Even your errors are a good.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Time and it really helps if you don't have a job,
so you can have freedom to conduct those experiments and still, yes,
live your life. What's your Have you found out what
yours is?
Speaker 1 (27:53):
I'm giving you all I'm going to.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Give you on this Topicay, I have learned in twenty
twenty three that it's never too to start again, to
start over.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I learned in twenty twenty three that having a good
travel partner is everything. And I got two people, you
and being is a wonderful Sabine is a wonderful person
to travel with one on one. She's just done it
so much that she just gets it. She knows she's
better than most adults in traveling. And you've of course
(28:27):
traveled so much and we're always cutting up and clowning
and liking the same things. And so it's been great
traveling with you too.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
I agree, and Avan and Elz are also the most
incredible travelers because I think what happens is and you know,
when you're traveling sometimes it's I'm not trying to laugh
at someone, but you see how miserable people are. You're
going on vacation, and yeah, traveling sucks, though it does,
but you know what it is. You have expectations that
things are going to go right, that you're not going
to hit traffic, that right but people are upset that
(28:57):
things didn't go exactly the way they wanted them to.
And so that's why, because they rarely do. When you travel,
if you can bring along a little bit of levity,
it makes a huge difference. And so if you go
in with that attitude, you can laugh when everything goes wrong.
I mean we had Sometimes when things go wrong, you
end up having experiences you wouldn't have had otherwise. Oh,
(29:21):
it can actually be a blessing.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
They can. But if you go in you're right knowing
that we have seen everything in our traveling days. We've
traveled so much, so this is very little you can
throw at us and we'll go, oh my god, I
can't believe this happened. So it's good to travel with
somebody who has that same experience.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
I like that. I've learned that, while turning fifty is
absolutely a privilege, I am very discouraged by this one thing.
This is the thing that I have been most frustrated
by getting older. And I've learned that your eyesight deteriorates
(29:58):
no matter who you are, and I cannot see a menu.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Now, So this is me. I'm going to get more
and more attractive to you as your eyes.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Maybe that's part of what nice. I'm serious biology, it
might be actually being kinder so I can't see as
well up close, So that's probably a good thing as
we age.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Right, No, but you might start finding other people more
attractive too. That's a problem for me. But no, you're
right about the eyes. It was yeah. Look I don't
have that issue yet, but to see it now and
how you deal with it, and it's in a different respect.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Bought me reading glasses for Christmas, Yes, and I love them, but.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
You have some nice ones. All the ones you have
are you know? They always disposable anyone who has.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
The same issue, anyone over the age of probably forty five,
most people. I have so many reading glasses and they're
all from CBS read so they're they're cheap, and they
crack when you open them up and close them, and
they might not look the best, but I lose them
a lot.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
So but I wanted you to have a nice pair
or two. So Warby Parker, thank you for this. Try
try on at home, try on. But yes, you got
nice classes. Now we'll see how long they last. But
they look good on you.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
One point two five right.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Right, But I'm I'm going to one point five pretty soon.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
How soon? I just got the classes.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
I'm trying, I'm trying. I'm fighting it, I'm fighting it.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
I have learned in twenty twenty three that Olivia Rodrigo
is freaking awesome in concert. This young lady is amazing,
and I really respect a live artist. So I learned
that very recently, all.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Right, in twenty twenty three, I have learned that true
friends are those who are still there for you when
you have nothing to give.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
In twenty twenty three, that cancer scares are constantly recurring
for cancer survivors. Yeah, we all have somebody in our
family or some a friend, or somebody by some that
we're connected to that has dealt with cancer in one way,
form or fashion. But we when you live with somebody
(32:22):
and somebody you love every single day and there's like
a daily conversation or a daily I feel this or
daily I don't know about that or should I. There's
like a constant reminder every day that something could go wrong.
Like there's not just a six month or a one
year checkup type of thing. It's a constant something that
(32:45):
makes you think, ooh, could this be it.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
It's a lifetime of fear of recurrence, but it's also
a lifetime reminding you that life is short and to
live to your very full. So there's a there's a curson,
a blessing with it. All right, our final lessons when
we come back, all.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Right, we got just a few more lessons learned in
twenty twenty three that we are going to pass along
one more for me from twenty twenty three, I learned
that I'm actually interested in getting married again. Look, it's
nobody wants to be divorced once, and certainly nobody wants
to be divorced twice. And I didn't turn me off
to relationships. It turned me off kind of to the
(33:35):
idea of getting married again. But here I am. So
I learned that in twenty twenty three. I also learned
in twenty twenty three, thanks to you, yacht rock is
a thing, is what I learned. It's a real thing.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
It is, and it's enjoyed by many.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
I've learned that as well. I went to a yacht
rock wedding recently.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Oh it was amazing, it was. I've learned in twenty
twenty three that if you go onto Spotify, you can
find a playlist that says music that gets white people turned.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
You're welcome. You're welcome. And for anybody out there who
needs to entertain white people, group.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
This.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
It's guaranteed hits.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
It's embarrassing how spot on it is.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
It's okay.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I mean, I was confused while you were playing all
the music I like that you never listened to, and
so I actually asked you, what playlist is this, never
expecting you to say music that gets white people turned.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
And they nailed it. Every single time.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
The nailed it.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Also, on twenty twenty three, I learned that this two
shell pass really is true. So many people told us that,
and you don't believe it in the moment, but it's true.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Sometimes it takes longer than you think it will, but
it will pass. I love that I learned in twenty
twenty three that people reflect back to you what you
believe about yourself, and so it's important how you think
of yourself, how you regard yourself, because that is what
people will reflect back to you. And when you're feeling shame,
(35:17):
when you're feeling blame, when you're feeling guilt, when you're
feeling down, it matters how you think of yourself.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
That was some of the best I remember that quote
not quote. It was a message from Candy Carter. I
love you out there, Candy, But she sent this text
to me. I know I shared it with you, but
she said, you need to remember who you are. You're
starting to believe what other people are saying about you,
right like you're just some random viewer out there reading
this stuff about TJ. Holmes. And she said, you actually
are starting to believe what people saying about you. Yep,
(35:46):
snap out of it.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
My next one twenty twenty three, I learned that it's
not my fault that the sports brought inserts keep coming
out during the wash. I didn't do anything wrong.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
I have learned that I spend, in a like an
absurd amount of time trying to get those inserts back
in correctly not folded over. I need somebody to do
better to make a sports braw where that is not
a constant source of frustration.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
I just know I feel bad about it, but it
turns out it's a thing and it's not my fault.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
That was a good one, baby, Yeah, that made me
laugh all right in twenty twenty three, and I'm going
to actually quote something that I learned. Gossip is one
of the most rampant and pervasive evils in our culture today.
Matthew Kelly wrote that in his book Life Is Messy,
and one of the reasons he says it is that
gossip can never be undone. It actually changes the perception,
(36:44):
which becomes reality. And we've all done it to other people,
and I think most of us have all been recipients
of it. But I just want to remember how evil
gossip is. I've learned that, and I've made a valiant
effort to not participate in it.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
What's the there's a longer excerpt. There's a whole section
he wrote in that book about gospel because you shared
it with me a long time ago. But it's great.
We should get into that and we'll put it out
there for people to see at some point. But it's
it's think of the times you've stood around a water cooler,
you stood in the bathroom at work and started whispering
or something about somebody passing something along that type of stuff.
(37:27):
You think it seems so minor and you're not doing
any harm. It is just awful.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
It's crushing.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
It is it is, But no that's a say his
name again. His name is Matthew Kelly, and Life is
Messy is the book and my last one here lesson
from twenty twenty three. I learned that it's possible to
spend a whole year with somebody and still miss them
when they get up to go to the bathroom. All
(37:55):
it's been we you and I have spent an exhort
amount of time together.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Absurd. I think we probably have spent enough time together
that we should have been married for ten.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Years, and that I don't think that's overstating. I don't
neither the amount of time we got to spend together.
You feel like you need a break from Oftentimes in relationships,
you want to break from folks and you need to
be away from them so then you can miss them.
And I've just never had an experience like this. I'm
happening with you and we were. Some would say curse,
but also we could say blessed to have what we
(38:26):
had the past year and to be where we are.
So happy New Year to YouTube, Mama. I'll see you
this year a.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Lot, a lot. I'm not going anywhere, maybe do the
bathroom a couple times.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
I'll miss you all right, really, folks, happy twenty twenty three,
twenty twenty four to you. Hope there's as excited as
we are to turn the page on twenty twenty three,
but also take some of those lessons with us into
twenty twenty four. You aren't going to give them the
don't know where to find us? You remember people were saying, yes, yeah,
(39:00):
I hope that we're not going to edit this out.
We're going to keep this just like this. Look, some
of you all complained, including some of our family members
and friends, that yo, the podcast ends too abruptly. We
don't like you're going going. We might even be into
some and then boom, it stops. And so I just stopped,
and I thought Robes was going to pick it back up,
and she did.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Sorry. We're usually really good at communicating with our eyes
and I can pick up where you leave off and
vice versa. But I just dropped the ball completely. So yes,
as we wrap up the podcast, everyone, you can follow
us on Instagram, AJ Roeboch and yours is official teachers.
I don't even remember now maybe we should follow you,
and then of course you can follow the podcast at
(39:40):
Amy and TJ Podcast. We'll see you all a little
bit later this week.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
We probably should have just let it into abruptly
Hey everybody, Hey, me and TJ here and we have
a special first of the year episode of our podcast
Here for You that is actually inspired by Ava Monroe.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Yes, my daughter, Yes, twenty one years old actually now,
and she is a very wise young woman. She always
has been. And she showed me yesterday that she made
a list. She actually put it up on Instagram things
I've learned this past year. And her list was very
(00:36):
very cool. It went from being insightful we can't necessarily
choose how we will react, but we can choose how
we will respond things like that, and then I think
she ended it with always jump in the water, even
when it's cold. But it was a cute list that
made us all think, and so we thought we might
come up with our own list and encourage other people
(00:58):
to do the same a list.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Yes, we've had a hell of a year. I guess
we should say, first of all, to everybody, a happy
New Year Year carry twenty twenty four. That has happened
so a lot of people turning the page. At a
part of turning that page sometimes you do have to
look back and take those lessons with you into the
new year. So, based on and again inspired by Aba Munroe.
We had some other ideas we were throwing around about
(01:21):
this podcast, but we kind of liked that when and
we got plenty of lessons we learned the past year
that we could pass along or things were going to
take with us. But we both made lists, but we
haven't seen each other's list. So Robock has a list
of how many of you got?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I think I have just under thirty.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Okay, I was up to about thirty seven.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
You won.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
It wasn't a competition, but it was, but if it was.
But these are all so we haven't seen each other,
so I am very curious to how this is going
to go. So you want to kick things off, we'll
just go back and forth.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Okay, I don't even know which one to start with.
But choosing love is always worth it, and it's always
worth it.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Okay. My first was there are some friendships I lost
in twenty twenty three that will never come back, and
I need to deal with that.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Yeah, it's an important lesson to learn. I learned. Seeing
my daughters happy is my greatest joy. Seeing them sad
is my deepest pain.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Good Lord, and I have seen that. I don't know
how many people, maybe your parents outside of me. I
have seen what it means to you when those two
aren't okay, and even worse when they aren't okay and
you think you're responsible for them not being okay. I
have seen that, so definitely that's true.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
And we've ended on a very high note. Yes, I
have to say my greatest joy. I just want to
add that this season has been seeing my daughters happy again.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yes, and you all have been bouncing off the walls
for the past couple of weeks, and that's been great.
It's been great to see you. Actually, it kind of
built up after the trip, the Thanksgiving trip yep, that
you all took, so you all have. It's been very
fun to watch you girls. My next one here is
limiting access to you doesn't make you arrogant. It makes
you purposeful and means you're intentional. It's okay to be
(03:02):
discerning about who's around you. It's not you being arrogant.
It's okay.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
I like that, all right. I learned that friendship companionship
is as important, if not more important, than chemistry, Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
I learned in twenty twenty three that just because you're busy,
that doesn't mean you're doing a good job, or that
you're getting a lot done.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
That is true. I've learned that you don't really know
someone until you divorce them.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Moving on, My next one is I learned in twenty
twenty three that forgiveness has nothing to do with the
other person. It has everything to do with me.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
I've learned in twenty twenty three that you can lose
your job, you can lose your reputation, you can lose friends,
and you can lose most of your worldly possessions and
still be happy.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Well, you lost most of your worthly I did.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
There was a lot of selling going on. Oh you
a giving away.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Oh it was a great yard cell. It was a
great yard cell. My next and twenty twenty three, I
learned that you should not let your bad days trick
you into thinking you have a bad life.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
I like that. I learned that yellow roses make me smile.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Yeah, I learned they make you smile too. They make
me smile. Now, I love that story. We'll get back
into that. We'll do a whole episode on the age
of innocence. That's a whole episode on it. My next
one in twenty twenty three, I learned that it's very
difficult to find a bar that can make a good
skinny marguerite. Oh you know what.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
On that note, I learned that April spritzes are even
better when you skip the club soda.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
And I learned in twenty twenty three that Gay Beach
in Portovararta will forever be one of my favorite places.
This is I have ever visited on vacation.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
That is amazing. I learned in twenty twenty three that
I actually like oysters.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Ah, yes, I was there for that. I learned in
twenty twenty three that worry is not going to take
away tomorrow's troubles. Rather, it's just going to take away
today's peace.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Wow. I learned that Prince has so many songs that
I had never heard of before, and I like them all.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
And you are welcome for that. I learned in twenty
twenty three that people have a tendency to judge you
for your worst actions, but they judge themselves by their
best intentions. That is so true.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I learned not to be invested in outcomes twenty twenty three.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I learned you can't depend on karma being a bitch,
because sometimes good things happen to bad people. Sorry, it's
just the.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Way it goes. I learned that it's you're gonna love
this one. It's better to fall into like and then
walk into love. Ah, God, should I deliver that with
the appropriate cheesiness?
Speaker 1 (06:16):
So you fell in like and then walked in love.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I chose love after falling into like. I couldn't help
how much I liked you. I just always liked being
around like.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
With me, I did. They kind of stumbled into love.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I purposefully walked into love.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Like you tripped.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
There was a stumble or two. I still love a bruises,
but it's okay.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
I learned in twenty twenty three that the smartest person
in the room is often the one who realizes just
how little they know.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yes, I think Socrates has a quote saying the wisest
man in the world is the man who knows he
knows nothing.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
There it is.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
It's one of my absolute favorite quotes.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Well, I've seen it play out a little more this
past year.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Yes, I hear you. I learned that I am apparently
always off rhythm because I dance on the ones and threes.
I snap my fingers on the ones in threes.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Okay, that's actually on my list that I learned in
twenty twenty three that Robot dances to music on the
one and three notes. This. Look, this is it's our thing.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I want to expand it a little because it's not
just me perhaps.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
No, it's all of you, No, a lot.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
This is fascinating to be there.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
It is, but you didn't know it until I started
pointing it out. And it is. And people talk about
white people can't dance, and white people off beat or
off rhythm and all this, but it comes from ye.
I've seen this happen as music's playing. It doesn't matter
how banging of a hip hop hit it might be,
and how dope the beat is. You are going on
a one and a three, which is the exact opposite
(07:56):
of me and a lot of people I know of
black people.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah, of a certain color, you're gonna say, you all
dance on the twos and.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Fours in it's a the clap, the beat, the rhythm,
it's the two. It's natural. So when I tried to
do a one in three with you, I was like,
how in God's name are you doing this?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
And I feel the same way about the twos and fours.
I've tried and I can't do it. It's so counterintuitive
to me, and I never realized that that was the
thing until you pointed it out. And so we've tested
it on people, and it's kind of true.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Just have you just had you watch the room and
look at the beat that some of your folks were.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
That was a big lesson I learned.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
But we've had fun.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Oh my goodness, was that yours then? So it's my
turn again? All right? I've learned that wipe Out is
perhaps the best show on television.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
The original older version version of you like the new
John Cena version.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
I like them both, but old school's kind of cool
because they said things and comment on things that would
never be allowed now. I think you would actually get canceled.
So it's kind of fun like you're watching something you
shouldn't be. I enjoy it immensely.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
With a new version two they but I think maybe
because they're on cable they can get away with some
things as well. But I don't know why that show
is just continues to do it for us. It delivers
every time, all right?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Me?
Speaker 1 (09:18):
In twenty twenty three, I learned that it doesn't matter
how many times I watch them. Elf and Love actually
are just two movies. I am never going to be into.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
That is such a shame because those are two of
my favorites. I know, And I'm still trying to get
you to watch The Holiday. Well I did, Well, did
you actually watch it? See you say you watch movies
and then you don't.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
I'm remembering now, we watched it. It was on a
plane and I didn't have the audio.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
All that's correct.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I saw what was happening, and turns out I guessed
every scene correctly.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
That's the thing with rom comms. They're predictable, and that's
why people like them because they know what they're gonna get.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Yeah, yeah, I tried, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
You're there. Usually aren't twists to a rom pound like
you know exactly that at the end they're going to
get together. Right. In twenty twenty three, I learned that
TJ's chimmy cherry sauce is the bomb.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
All right, Yeah, that's good, that's good stuff, all right.
Twenty and twenty three I learned that sometimes people have
to pretend you're a bad person just so they don't
have to feel guilty about the things they.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Do to you. Well, in twenty twenty three, I learned
that I like holding hands. You just learned this right,
because I think if you can remember, I used to
say to you, and this was a joke. I wasn't
a hugger and I didn't like the hold hands. And
now I.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Know about the hugging thing. Is everybody around you never
wanted to hug anybody, given your own children.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Stock Well, it's just I don't know. I don't know
if you're born that way, if you grew up a
certain family dynamic. But I just was never a big
hugger and never a big handholder. And it doesn't mean
that I didn't have strong feelings of love and friendship
for people. It's just not how I expressed myself. But
I now holding hands.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Why but you said it has nothing to do with
any level of love or affection. But why did some
switch flip you?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I like holding your hand.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Because I moisturized? Is that what it is? I have
very soft No.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
You made me feel safe. I don't know. I like
holding your hand. So that was a big about pace
and I learned that about myself. But maybe it was
just I needed you in my.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Life, all right. You are you always reach for my hand,
even if my hand is in my pocket. You'll still
put your arm I do, and interlock in some way.
You do as everybody has seen, probably right.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I'm pretty sure it's been documented.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Twenty three.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I learned.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I learned that white people really love casseroles. I didn't
know how much we do.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
And you know, I made a great one for Christmas
for the girls. It's my mom's potato casserole. It's got
hash browns, cream of chicken soup, canned Campbell's. Usually, it's
got sour cream in it. It's got a lot of
shredded cheese in it. And oh, one of the magical
parts about it. You saute green onions in butter first,
(12:29):
and you mix it all together. Then you squish it
all into the castrole dish. And here is the other
amazing part of it. You get some corn flakes, you
crunch them all, you spread them all over the top,
and then you melt butter and drizzle the butter over
the corn flakes. You bake it in the oven at
four hundred for forty minutes. Oh yeah, and you will
(12:50):
not have tasted anything better in your life.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Are there raisins in there somewhere in this one?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Oh? Raisins are a staple and a lot of cash roles.
I'm not a fan of that. To put that on
the record.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
It's a weird. But there are another that you said that,
the potato one, and there's a I swear there's another one.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
A lot of them have cans of soup in them.
Oh I mean, oh, yes, I've made like a spaghetti
casserole where you put it in and you've got the
cheese on top, you melt it. My grandmother used to
always make that. Okay, it's just it's a it's an
easy dish that's tasty that you can serve up easily
for a lot of people. The look on your.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Face discussed No, I learned. I've never been a castle
roll guy. I have never liked the castle role. I
didn't grow up around crest castle roles at all. But
to see you not just that you can make one
or two or three, like your level of enthusiasm for
a castlerole and you're like, oh, the girls are going
(13:47):
to adjust did like they're begging for a castle role?
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Is they are? That's actually not an understatement, I know,
I know.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
So I learned that I was going.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
To bring some over to you, but it was all
gone The.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Next year how when is Easter.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
I'll keep on the food theme because I learned this
year that I can't always eat the way I do
when I'm training for a marathon.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
Again, the running is just an excuse for how you
want to eat.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
But when you're training for a marathons, sometimes you're running
up to forty miles a week, so you can kind
of eat almost anything and justify it because you need
the fuel. You need to replenish the lycochen that was
lost in your legs, et cetera. Now, I think if
anyone out there has followed me for some time, they
know that I was a hardcore keto head for a while,
(14:41):
and I still like to not have carbs or at
least get my only carbs for vegetables. But when i'm running, well,
excuses anyway. The last month has taught me that I
need to go back to my old way of being
more healthy in my choices. But yes, that was a
lesson learned.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
You know what are we going to do the New
York City half?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Well, that's up to you, because you learned that you
don't like cold running in the cold.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
You know what, In fact, I think I'll skip down
to one of these that I have on my list
that has to do with the cold. Where is it here?
It is? I learned in twenty twenty three that I
hate running in the cold, but I hate running on
a treadmill even more so. I hate the cold. Yes,
(15:31):
we talked about it. That half marathon this year. I
think it was in the teens when it started, and
it was the worst run of my life, training run
or actual race.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
It was the worst of my life and it was
the best of my life. It actually was a personal
record for me. But you could argue that it was
because we just wanted it to be over so quickly.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I sure did, but I was still following you the
whole time. And man, it was great to get to
the end. I get some water and a castle roll
in me to replenish.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
All Right, more lessons learned coming up? All right, more
lessons learned in twenty twenty three that hopefully we can
put to good use in this new year. In twenty
twenty three, I learned that my family is awesome. Like
(16:20):
I already knew, they were mostly awesome, but they were
extra awesome.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Yeah, this was a special year in a lot of ways,
in those relationships. That's all that happen in unfold, so
that is a good one. I learned in twenty twenty
three that some of the best weight you can ever
lose is the weight of other people's opinion of you.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
I like what you did there, that's very cool. I
learned that there are more kind people in the world
than me.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
I learned that multitasking is not something to be proud of.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
That. I learned that surrendering is powerful. It seems like
it might be weak when you hear the word surrender,
pull up the white flag. But when you really surrender
to whatever is happening, that is where your true power lies.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Got it tattooed on my arm surrender as a nice
little reminder of what you just said. What else? I
learned in twenty twenty three that it's not change that's
actually painful, it's your resistance to it that causes you
the pain.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I learned that I never want to go back to
the grind of morning television. And I learned that I
don't miss the job. I miss the people agree with you.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
There. I learned in twenty twenty three that what other
people think of you is actually none of yo damn business.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
I learned the horror movies actually help my mood when
I'm down or sad, and I think the reasoning behind
it is at least I'm not being possessed by a demon.
I mean, it could be worse.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I was following you. I didn't know you were going
to go with some really twisted logic there at the end.
I'm not feeling good today, Let's watch a slasher.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Well have we not done that a lot?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Well, we watched them anyway, we don't watch them mega
selves feel better?
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Were we watching them every day before last year? No?
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Well, we were going to work.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Oh yeah, we had structured days back then and probably
didn't have time to watch horror movies.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
We have no structure.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Now, do you have a few favorites from this year?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Favorite horror movies?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
We've seen so many?
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Oh, the first thing out of your mouth has to
be talked to me.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
That is what I have down to.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
It has to be the first thing out of that
was so good, Oh my yead oscar worthy good? Yeah,
that is where I will skip down on my list.
In twenty twenty three, I learned that I would be
willing to campaign for Sophie Wild to get an Oscar
nomination for her role in Talk to Me. If y'all
(19:19):
haven't seen this movie, you get on it today.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
It is. There were so many good horror movies this year.
Evil Dead Rise Ooh, that was brilliant. And I didn't
even realize it was a whole and someone who watches
and is considers herself a horror movie officianadn't. I did
not even know it was a whole series. The dates
back into the nineteen seventies.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Even I think they've only made five still, five or
six of them worth the weight O movie. Okay, that
movie is amazing, but yeah, Sophie Wild and get to
your point talk to Me, Oh, that is the movie
of the year for me.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
I've learned, and I guess this goes back to my
worldly objects losing most of them. But I've learned that
material objects are meaningless.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Twenty twenty three, I learned that tabloid stories aren't reported,
they're planted. I got all education in this this year.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
That's a good one and very true. In twenty twenty three,
I learned, and this was surprising to me, that I
sleep better now that I'm living authentically. It actually has
had a huge impact on my sleeping before, and I
think you'll know this. I've talked about this. I was
either taking melotonin sometimes I would take trazodone to try
(20:35):
and sleep. I would have white noise blaring. I couldn't
sleep unless it was on. And I had to play
Candy Crush for like ten minutes before I tried to
go to sleep, to quiet my brain and to just
kind of numb myself in a way. I had to
do all of those things sometimes together, but at least
(20:55):
one of those things had to be in place for
me to fall asleep.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Yeah, and I was familiar with your habits. It was
any time if I needed a question or I need
to text you at night, I knew say, hey, have
you done Candy Crush yet, because once you do that,
it's done.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
I'm done. But now I actually fall asleep on my
own without any sort of drug or it's noise. I
can sleep. I can sleep on planes. Now.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I still have to read you a lullaby though every night.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Yeah, that's it's my favorite part of the night. But no,
I slept on a plane the other day. I've never
been able to sleep on a plane.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
That was an exceptional twenty four hours. You had previously.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Still I can't recab I had my head on your shoulder.
And also I'm like, wait, we landed.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Oh my goodness, okay twenty twenty three? What else I learned?
My list continues with I or learned that even the
person treating you poorly is going through something. Give him
a break.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
You've said that. You know, even with some of the
photographers that were on us, that was very frustrating and
could easily make someone angry or say something or do
something that maybe they wouldn't want documented. You always took
the kind approach and you would go up to them
and say, who you're working for? Did you get your picture?
(22:25):
Hope you have a good day, And you just said, hey,
he might have a mouth to feed, and this is
the only way he can he can work. Someone's rude
on the subway. Maybe they're trying to get somewhere that
you don't know what's happened to them. You don't know
what their day has been like, you don't know what
their life is like.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Well, yeah, and sometimes people are just jerks. So there
are those folks out there. But I start with giving
somebody the benefit of the doubt, because I know Goodhill
well both of us. At some point you snapped at
somebody or something small because of something they had nothing
to do with, and just everybody's going me. Life can
be really hard, so yeah, I give people a break.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
I love that. I learned in twenty twenty three that
there are no horns where people don't hank their horns
in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Yeah, we were really amazed.
Maybe it's just our New York experience, but yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
It was in those small Maybe it's against the law,
maybe we should look that up.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
But it was remarkable. Traffic jams, people walking the street.
We never once saw anyone honk their horn, which I
loved and appreciated.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
And no, it's good to be home, back to New York.
I learned in twenty twenty three that I will never
understand why Sailing by Christopher Cross is considered such a
great song. I won't understand it. I'm respecting it, fine,
I just I don't get it.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
When you walked in the door, we were getting ready
for New Year's Eve. I was getting ready for New
Year's Eve, and I quickly raced to try and change
the music because Sailing was on and I knew you
were going to make fun of me. You were like,
this is your get ready to go out music. I
would say, sailing is good at any time of the day,
in any experience. At that moment, yes, I was enjoying it.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I came in hot, like I was ready. We had
been separated for a couple hours during the day. It
was time to get back together. We were going to
start getting to clothes together. And I put the music on,
get the drinks flowing, and I get down the hallway.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Here sailing it completely changes your mood right for the better.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
I learned in twenty twenty three that feeling misunderstood is
one of the most difficult human experiences.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
I learned that girls grow into and out of style
phases really quickly.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
That's true. And I've been able to kind of tell
you what's coming next because it's so funny to watch
the bean dress the way and Elise was dressing a
couple of years ago. So yes, more to come.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
When is when does this one in the the I
live on the streets, and.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Yes, but it's chic and none of these clothes fit me.
We call it yeah, yes, yes, I think that's what
it is. Hobo chic I've never understood that it's kind
of grunge on steroids, because I remember grunge in the nineties,
but this is taking it to a whole new level
where you actually are laughing at the clothes that they're
wearing their like XXL.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Sabine even laughed the other day that she grew out
of a phase to where she had I don't even
know what phases is where she would have her her
pants hiked up so high but then have the shirt
tucked in in the front. What is that.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
We be?
Speaker 1 (25:45):
She wanted to do that all the time, and it
drove me crazy. She even was laughing about it the
other day, like, I'm out of that one.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Well, there could be a preppy phase. I saw Eva
go through that. Then there can be what do they
call it emo? All black.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
She's with the oversize.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Yes, and it's black, black hoodie, back weatpants, oversized pants,
black boots, everything. Yeah, well, she fits right in in
New York.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Drives me crazy, is the thing.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I have learned that expectations are the root of almost
all resentments future resentments. So I've learned that when you
can and I don't ever want to lower my expectations,
of myself. But when you lower expectations of things you
cannot control, it's life is a lot easier.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
What about expectations of people? Should we not sell? Okay,
this is where I learn into trouble. Sometimes I have
an expectation of someone that I don't state, but then
sometimes they state and give me an expectation I should
now have with them, and they don't deliver on that.
So where are you in the expectations you like?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
If you're looking for peace, if you just let people
be who they are and accept them as they are,
then you can choose whether or not you want to
be around them. But if you think you're going to
change them or that you can require something of them,
I think you're setting yourself up for disappointment and yes, resentment.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
I learned in twenty twenty three that it takes a
lot of trial and error to figure out your correct
thc edible dosage. A lot of trial and error.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
How's that working for you?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
The thing is about trial and error when it comes
to thac edibles. Even your errors are a good.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Time and it really helps if you don't have a job,
so you can have freedom to conduct those experiments and still, yes,
live your life. What's your Have you found out what
yours is?
Speaker 1 (27:53):
I'm giving you all I'm going to.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Give you on this Topicay, I have learned in twenty
twenty three that it's never too to start again, to
start over.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I learned in twenty twenty three that having a good
travel partner is everything. And I got two people, you
and being is a wonderful Sabine is a wonderful person
to travel with one on one. She's just done it
so much that she just gets it. She knows she's
better than most adults in traveling. And you've of course
(28:27):
traveled so much and we're always cutting up and clowning
and liking the same things. And so it's been great
traveling with you too.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
I agree, and Avan and Elz are also the most
incredible travelers because I think what happens is and you know,
when you're traveling sometimes it's I'm not trying to laugh
at someone, but you see how miserable people are. You're
going on vacation, and yeah, traveling sucks, though it does,
but you know what it is. You have expectations that
things are going to go right, that you're not going
to hit traffic, that right but people are upset that
(28:57):
things didn't go exactly the way they wanted them to.
And so that's why, because they rarely do. When you travel,
if you can bring along a little bit of levity,
it makes a huge difference. And so if you go
in with that attitude, you can laugh when everything goes wrong.
I mean we had Sometimes when things go wrong, you
end up having experiences you wouldn't have had otherwise. Oh,
(29:21):
it can actually be a blessing.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
They can. But if you go in you're right knowing
that we have seen everything in our traveling days. We've
traveled so much, so this is very little you can
throw at us and we'll go, oh my god, I
can't believe this happened. So it's good to travel with
somebody who has that same experience.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
I like that. I've learned that, while turning fifty is
absolutely a privilege, I am very discouraged by this one thing.
This is the thing that I have been most frustrated
by getting older. And I've learned that your eyesight deteriorates
(29:58):
no matter who you are, and I cannot see a menu.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Now, So this is me. I'm going to get more
and more attractive to you as your eyes.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Maybe that's part of what nice. I'm serious biology, it
might be actually being kinder so I can't see as
well up close, So that's probably a good thing as
we age.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Right, No, but you might start finding other people more
attractive too. That's a problem for me. But no, you're
right about the eyes. It was yeah. Look I don't
have that issue yet, but to see it now and
how you deal with it, and it's in a different respect.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Bought me reading glasses for Christmas, Yes, and I love them, but.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
You have some nice ones. All the ones you have
are you know? They always disposable anyone who has.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
The same issue, anyone over the age of probably forty five,
most people. I have so many reading glasses and they're
all from CBS read so they're they're cheap, and they
crack when you open them up and close them, and
they might not look the best, but I lose them
a lot.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
So but I wanted you to have a nice pair
or two. So Warby Parker, thank you for this. Try
try on at home, try on. But yes, you got
nice classes. Now we'll see how long they last. But
they look good on you.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
One point two five right.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Right, But I'm I'm going to one point five pretty soon.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
How soon? I just got the classes.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
I'm trying, I'm trying. I'm fighting it, I'm fighting it.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
I have learned in twenty twenty three that Olivia Rodrigo
is freaking awesome in concert. This young lady is amazing,
and I really respect a live artist. So I learned
that very recently, all.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Right, in twenty twenty three, I have learned that true
friends are those who are still there for you when
you have nothing to give.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
In twenty twenty three, that cancer scares are constantly recurring
for cancer survivors. Yeah, we all have somebody in our
family or some a friend, or somebody by some that
we're connected to that has dealt with cancer in one way,
form or fashion. But we when you live with somebody
(32:22):
and somebody you love every single day and there's like
a daily conversation or a daily I feel this or
daily I don't know about that or should I. There's
like a constant reminder every day that something could go wrong.
Like there's not just a six month or a one
year checkup type of thing. It's a constant something that
(32:45):
makes you think, ooh, could this be it.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
It's a lifetime of fear of recurrence, but it's also
a lifetime reminding you that life is short and to
live to your very full. So there's a there's a curson,
a blessing with it. All right, our final lessons when
we come back, all.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Right, we got just a few more lessons learned in
twenty twenty three that we are going to pass along
one more for me from twenty twenty three, I learned
that I'm actually interested in getting married again. Look, it's
nobody wants to be divorced once, and certainly nobody wants
to be divorced twice. And I didn't turn me off
to relationships. It turned me off kind of to the
(33:35):
idea of getting married again. But here I am. So
I learned that in twenty twenty three. I also learned
in twenty twenty three, thanks to you, yacht rock is
a thing, is what I learned. It's a real thing.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
It is, and it's enjoyed by many.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
I've learned that as well. I went to a yacht
rock wedding recently.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Oh it was amazing, it was. I've learned in twenty
twenty three that if you go onto Spotify, you can
find a playlist that says music that gets white people turned.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
You're welcome. You're welcome. And for anybody out there who
needs to entertain white people, group.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
This.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
It's guaranteed hits.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
It's embarrassing how spot on it is.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
It's okay.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I mean, I was confused while you were playing all
the music I like that you never listened to, and
so I actually asked you, what playlist is this, never
expecting you to say music that gets white people turned.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
And they nailed it. Every single time.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
The nailed it.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Also, on twenty twenty three, I learned that this two
shell pass really is true. So many people told us that,
and you don't believe it in the moment, but it's true.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Sometimes it takes longer than you think it will, but
it will pass. I love that I learned in twenty
twenty three that people reflect back to you what you
believe about yourself, and so it's important how you think
of yourself, how you regard yourself, because that is what
people will reflect back to you. And when you're feeling shame,
(35:17):
when you're feeling blame, when you're feeling guilt, when you're
feeling down, it matters how you think of yourself.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
That was some of the best I remember that quote
not quote. It was a message from Candy Carter. I
love you out there, Candy, But she sent this text
to me. I know I shared it with you, but
she said, you need to remember who you are. You're
starting to believe what other people are saying about you,
right like you're just some random viewer out there reading
this stuff about TJ. Holmes. And she said, you actually
are starting to believe what people saying about you. Yep,
(35:46):
snap out of it.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
My next one twenty twenty three, I learned that it's
not my fault that the sports brought inserts keep coming
out during the wash. I didn't do anything wrong.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
I have learned that I spend, in a like an
absurd amount of time trying to get those inserts back
in correctly not folded over. I need somebody to do
better to make a sports braw where that is not
a constant source of frustration.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
I just know I feel bad about it, but it
turns out it's a thing and it's not my fault.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
That was a good one, baby, Yeah, that made me
laugh all right in twenty twenty three, and I'm going
to actually quote something that I learned. Gossip is one
of the most rampant and pervasive evils in our culture today.
Matthew Kelly wrote that in his book Life Is Messy,
and one of the reasons he says it is that
gossip can never be undone. It actually changes the perception,
(36:44):
which becomes reality. And we've all done it to other people,
and I think most of us have all been recipients
of it. But I just want to remember how evil
gossip is. I've learned that, and I've made a valiant
effort to not participate in it.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
What's the there's a longer excerpt. There's a whole section
he wrote in that book about gospel because you shared
it with me a long time ago. But it's great.
We should get into that and we'll put it out
there for people to see at some point. But it's
it's think of the times you've stood around a water cooler,
you stood in the bathroom at work and started whispering
or something about somebody passing something along that type of stuff.
(37:27):
You think it seems so minor and you're not doing
any harm. It is just awful.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
It's crushing.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
It is it is, But no that's a say his
name again. His name is Matthew Kelly, and Life is
Messy is the book and my last one here lesson
from twenty twenty three. I learned that it's possible to
spend a whole year with somebody and still miss them
when they get up to go to the bathroom. All
(37:55):
it's been we you and I have spent an exhort
amount of time together.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Absurd. I think we probably have spent enough time together
that we should have been married for ten.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Years, and that I don't think that's overstating. I don't
neither the amount of time we got to spend together.
You feel like you need a break from Oftentimes in relationships,
you want to break from folks and you need to
be away from them so then you can miss them.
And I've just never had an experience like this. I'm
happening with you and we were. Some would say curse,
but also we could say blessed to have what we
(38:26):
had the past year and to be where we are.
So happy New Year to YouTube, Mama. I'll see you
this year a.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Lot, a lot. I'm not going anywhere, maybe do the
bathroom a couple times.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
I'll miss you all right, really, folks, happy twenty twenty three,
twenty twenty four to you. Hope there's as excited as
we are to turn the page on twenty twenty three,
but also take some of those lessons with us into
twenty twenty four. You aren't going to give them the
don't know where to find us? You remember people were saying, yes, yeah,
(39:00):
I hope that we're not going to edit this out.
We're going to keep this just like this. Look, some
of you all complained, including some of our family members
and friends, that yo, the podcast ends too abruptly. We
don't like you're going going. We might even be into
some and then boom, it stops. And so I just stopped,
and I thought Robes was going to pick it back up,
and she did.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Sorry. We're usually really good at communicating with our eyes
and I can pick up where you leave off and
vice versa. But I just dropped the ball completely. So yes,
as we wrap up the podcast, everyone, you can follow
us on Instagram, AJ Roeboch and yours is official teachers.
I don't even remember now maybe we should follow you,
and then of course you can follow the podcast at
(39:40):
Amy and TJ Podcast. We'll see you all a little
bit later this week.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
We probably should have just let it into abruptly
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