August 26, 2024 • 52 mins
No matter how hard she tried to prepare, she's not ready.
Amy is joined by her 18-year-old daughter Annalise who is about to start the best four years of her life at UC Boulder and Amy is NOT OK! From mom's adjustment to being an empty nester to Annalise's many emotions about college and being so far away from home, this episode hits all of the feels of new beginnings and big changes.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Amy Robach gave birth to her youngest daughter, Analyse, on
May tenth, two thousand and six. Now this month, August
of twenty twenty four, Amy Robach is going to drive
that same baby, now eighteen years old, to the airport,
put that baby on a plane, and send that baby
off to college in Europe. And at that point, it's
(00:27):
likely Robock will experience what millions of parents experience every
single year, feelings of loneliness, anxiety, depression. It's something called
empty nest syndrome. Meanwhile, I'll be back at the house,
turning Analice's bedroom into a home office. And with that,
welcome everybody to this episode of Amy and Tza. You
(00:48):
knew I wasn't going to come on. That's not how
I was supposed to go. No, no, no, no. Now
this is fun, This is renewal, this is exciting. Everybody's
getting a new chapter. But tell me this, babe, when
was the last time you lived alone?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
I only lived alone for ten months and it was
when I was twenty two years old. That is the
last time I have lived alone.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Wait, in life, your entire life only lived by yourself.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
At twenty, when I went to my first job at
WCBD TV two Action News. I moved into my sad
little apartment on Palmetto Boulevard, and I had ten months
until Analisa's dad moved in while we were engaged before
we got married.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Wow, ten months to think. Okay, so let's let's talk
to everybody about what we're talking about here. That Yes,
your daughter, who is sitting in studio with us now
and Alicia, baby eighteen, is about to go to college
and it's a very texciting time for her, but for
you and a bunch of other parents, this is a
very difficult time of transition. And even though empty nest
syndrome we were saying is not a clinical diagnosed.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
It's not a medical diet, yes, but.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
It's a real thing, a phenomenon.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
We should call it, yes, And I think I have
been scared about it for the last year. Yeah, I've
been nervous, like letting go.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
What are you nervous about? I'm asking that genuinely.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
And they do say that women are disproportionately affected than men,
But I think.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
They say we're not emotionally prepared. We're just we're not
emotionally mature enough to handle it.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
I think, especially with the trajectory of my life. And
the one thing that's stayed the same, the one thing
that's never wavered, is my relationship with my children.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
Like I have never.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
All the ins and outs and ups and downs with life,
that love was the one constant in my life that
never changed.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
And so it's not going to change. But the location,
the logistics, that is what's going to change. And that
is hard to let go of.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Because your purpose, of course is to live a full
and exciting life.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
But a big part of that purpose.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
When you're a mom is making sure your kids are
okay and making sure they have what they need and
that they you know, when you have to let them just.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Go off in the world. You have to let go.
And that's hard.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
And I'll be fine and I'll get there, but I
have been I have not been looking forward to this.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Well, if it's any relief, the statistics show you'll get
over it really soon.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Because I laugh because I was looking at that too.
They said sometimes it takes a couple of weeks. Yep,
in some cases it does take a couple months. My
mom will tell you it took her about two years.
She really has been honest about that. But hilariously.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
I saw on the flip side, some parents report feeling relief.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
And then guilt because they feel relieved. But there's a
whole new way of operating when you don't have to
worry or think about or just be constantly monitoring your children.
All of a sudden, you have all this time back mentally, physically, logistically,
and it can be great, but it's a big change.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
You h you talked about all the sad stuff, and
then you listed all these things that sound like you're
looking forward to later.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I'm just laughing that I saw some people immediately feel really.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
And others don't. But look, everybody listening here. You've if
you've listened to at least two of these previous episodes,
you've heard Analyst's name because we're constantly talking about the girls. Analyst,
Eva and Sabine there are always here and by our side.
But Analyse is actually in the studio with us, now,
only a couple of days away from getting on a
plane and starting her college journey. Can I ask, before
(04:40):
we're getting into anything, Analyse, I was watching as your
mom is sitting here you and I wait, I don't
want to say we're unemotional people. But Mom is sitting
here crying and we're just taking it in there it is,
that's the way to put it. But what do you
what are you thinking and feeling hearing your mom? I
mean we're ten seconds into the podcast and she's already
(05:02):
crying about leaving.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
I mean there's been a lot of chairs already, eight months,
in the past few weeks, in the past few days.
But I mean, I'm sad, definitely, but I'm not I'm
not crying as much because I think I'll cry when
I get there. I'm excited. I don't know, but I'm
sad for you, but I think you'll have a good time.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
We'll see. And I don't want to put the guilt
of that on you, because I was telling you my
mom was a wreck when I went to school, and
I remember being.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
You're still going to be a wreck.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Of course I am, And I'm not hiding it very
well at all. I remember being mad at her for
not hiding it better because I didn't want to feel
guilty about leaving her, and I thought, I'm never going
to do that, And here I am doing it, and
it's not like anyone's doing it to someone. It's just
it's a sign of love and it's a part of
the process, you know, And for me, I come by
it naturally obviously, like this was my mom. My grandmother
(05:54):
was like this. We we love hard and it's hard
to like go unless you.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Feel any guilt. You are any way. You want to
comfort your mom out of what we've seen in over
the past couple of weeks. Do you feel that at all?
Speaker 4 (06:05):
I don't feel guilty. Good, But yeah, I don't. I don't.
But because I'm excited for you. I think this is
in a chapter and I think it will be fun.
You have many things to look forward to.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
That's very sweet. What are you most excited about, m.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
I'd definitely say new experiences, new friends. I love all
my friends, don't get me wrong, but I think just
like new characters in my life, and especially in Boulder, hiking, skiing,
all the outdoor activities. Living in New York, you don't
really do that as much, so that will be exciting.
(06:45):
Classes picking my own classes is very fun. Never done that.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah, you get some you get some autonomy. We were
talking we took the train up the w train up here,
and we were saying, I was saying to you, this
is going to be the like you've had a few
tastes of freedom, but you're gonna act actually have this
moment where you think, oh my god, Yeah, I can
get up when I want to, I can go to
bed when I want to, I can stay out as
late as I want. I can do and eat and
(07:10):
be whoever whatever I want. And that is a really
cool that moment when you're like, I am free and
you don't have a lot of responsibilities, at least financial
ones right now.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
No, yeah, this is it.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
You know, and we can you. I'll let you tell
everybody you're you're going to be enrolled. You are in
rolled now at University of Colorado at Boulder, but you
get to spend your first semester elsewhere. I'll let you
tell what's about to happen.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Yeah, I'm going to Spain for my first semester, which
will definitely be a culture shock for me. I've spent
some time in Europe, so hopefully it won't be too scary.
But that's yeah, that's only for September to December, so
don't be there for that long. But that will be
a fun little transition to my first semester in college
(07:58):
and then I go to Boulder.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
And you say you were feeling a little bit of
anxiety because although it's super cool to get to go
to Seville or Sabilla, however you want to say it,
in Spain, you'll basically be going to Boulder in this
spring semester, and you were a little concerned that maybe
you'll be catching up or they'll be clicks already formed.
So there's some anxiety. Like you're always anticipating, you know,
what's going to happen next. So have you been able
(08:20):
to just focus on right here, right now today instead
of thinking, oh, no, what's going to happen next semester?
Don't we all do that and just psych ourselves out?
Speaker 4 (08:28):
Sometimes I'm trying to focus on the present right now
and not the future because I will technically be a
transfer student even though I'm enrolled. But like people will
look at me as like, oh, she's coming and she
hated her school first semester, Like until I explain it,
I don't know. I just feel like, I mean, I
haven't really been the new kid that many times, but
I've seen all the movies, you know, all the TV shows,
(08:50):
and it always looks like the worst thing ever to
be the new girl. Yes, I'd rather not be that.
But my best friend is going to Boulder, so she'll
be there lay out the land for me.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Yeah, that's me. We talked about even the last podcast.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Yeah to me, why Boulder? Can you explain it?
Speaker 2 (09:05):
It?
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Golda became the hot school when everybody was looking why, Yeah,
it was.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
It was incredibly random. I wasn't even going to apply.
I applied to like eight other schools and all of
them I mainly got into. And I was like, don't
want to go. And I got into Boulder and this
like weird program didn't even get any money. Like it was.
It was very random. Not probably the best school for
me to go to logistically, but I saw it and
I was like, I have to go. I felt a
(09:30):
poll and I couldn't explain it. I couldn't tell you why,
but I just knew.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
And it was really nobody was a ton of your
friends and everybody seemed to think that was.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
The Yeah, it never was. It never was at school,
which is so weird, Like it kind of was a
kind of a I don't know. It wasn't the most
popular school, at least in New York. I don't know,
it just happened.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
And I know the skiing and the hiking, and and
your degree also plays a role in that as well.
Where you wanted to go. And then we were wondering
if the Dione Sanders effect had some sort of impact
on people thinking suddenly the Boulder was school because their
football program has been in the national Yeah, I think so.
I mean, I know you're excited about football season when
you get their next ball.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Yeah. I was planning on joining the team.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Football.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
But you have our word that we will be showing
up for a football game yes or two. Why did
you want to go so far away from mom? Like,
you know, I tried so hard to get you to
stay on the East Coast. I even was trying to
pitch University of Georgia, where a family is, and you
wanted nothing to do with it. You you only applied
(10:41):
to one school on the East Coast.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
And isay.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
She was.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, she never left and she probably never will.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Yeah, well, it had nothing to do with you, obviously.
I don't know. I wanted to change. I felt like
it was just right for me. There wasn't really that
much behind it, but I was kind of like why not.
I know, I want to live in New York when
I'm older, in my twenties, so it's like, why not
change it up for four years?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
But specifically you did. I'm not getting away from Mom,
but you wanted to get kind of away from New
York and the Northeast. That was a part of distance
from this place.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Oh wow, And that's bold because you want to see
something else, you want to see something new. And for
those of us who weren't raised in New York, I
always appreciate people who do have the wherewithal to experience
other parts of either this country or the world, because
New York is truly a bubble and when you meet
folks and we know a lot of them who were
born and raised here and never left, there is a mindset.
(11:39):
And so I do think it's cool just because we've
had the experience of seeing how other people do things,
and New York is very much different than the rest
of the country for sure. And it was interesting because
I looked it up because I just thought, Wow, I
was upset that you were going so far away. But
I'm happy that you're going to where you want to go.
But do you know that only fifteen and a half
percent a freshman at ten schools more than five hundred
(12:01):
miles away. So wow, lucky me, I got one and
a fifteen percent. So only fifty percent of freshmen go
five hundred miles or more away from their home. Fifty
two percent of students don't go more than one hundred
miles from home. I think I went about forty miles
from home, and that's more typical. How about you went
(12:22):
very far.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Across the state. I don't know the mileage, but yeah, stay.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
In state state for very much. Do you think you're
going to be homesick?
Speaker 4 (12:31):
I think a little bit, yes, But I also you
didn't have phones or FaceTime.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
That's true.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
There's a big difference as to where, like I can
see your faces, I can see our dog's face.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Who or what will you miss the most?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
I was thinking she was going to say Brody the
dog or not. Well, I mean, just be honest. You
can't say and your sister your sister too?
Speaker 4 (13:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Yeah, Is there is there something about New York that
you will miss? Forget the people the most?
Speaker 4 (13:13):
Mmm, I'd say walking on my own. I feel like
I'm not going to be doing a lot of that,
even in Spain. I think it's going to be like
walking in groups to classes, just because I think they're
probably pretty protective of these eighteen year olds just being
dropped off in Europe. So I think that sense of freedom.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
You're going to miss your alone time. Yes, you like
alone time.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
I do like alone time.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I sent TJ picture. He's like, what's analyst doing? And
I sent him a picture of your door closed? And
I said, per usual, she's in her room. I thought
you might say asuka sushi.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Oh, I do love a suka. I'm going to miss
like Chipotle, Chick fil A, Keynes, all the good ones.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
How about this? What is the thing you think will
be maybe even the day. I don't know how you're
gonna set up your room and everything when you get
over there. But what's the thing you think you would
see in your room often or that will remind you
of home and make you a little sad.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
Well, I'm bringing a bulletin board. I don't really have
a lot of photos printed out. The I brought really
strange photos like it's I don't even know if it's
gonna remind me of good times because I don't have
any printed.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
We can stop by Dwayne Reid tomorrow and print some
photos for you.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Yeah, photoed don't They're like really random, very strange.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I gave you a photo of us to take with you.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
Yes, I have that, you have the wind, you have that,
and I have a few like friendom decor that I
took off my walls to bring.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Uh so, I wait, are you gonna bring your baby blanket?
Here's a little fun fact about Anally's. She never goes
anywhere without her Gigi overnight typically. I mean, I think
you've done some sleepovers without it recently. I didn't bring it.
But what kind of shape is it in? And are
you bringing it?
Speaker 4 (14:56):
It almost looks like a sleeping bag. I wonder if
people can relate to that. I used to sleep in it.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
It's very small too.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
It's very small, incredibly small. So I don't really bring
up that many places.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
It's in her room, trust me.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Here's the funny thing.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
She actually had an original, beautiful baby blanket with her
name embroidered. I think one of my friends gave it
to you from Pottery Barn Kids or something. And then
you got carsick and we had to throw the blanket
out and desperation because you were like gig you just
that's what you called it. We had to stop by
a Coles and get a random you know, just pink
(15:34):
and white with clouds on it, and that is still
the blanket.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
You have no idea.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
I think Eva made it up.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
I don't know brand.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
So many parents are dealing with this, and if they
haven't already, they will soon enough. This is the day
that so many of us dread. And then we don't
know what to do, because yes, we're trying to give
you your freedom and let you have your independence. But
I have some questions for you, like genuine questions about
what you want, what you need from me while you're
at school. How often should I check in with you?
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Really?
Speaker 2 (16:12):
I think I think parents want to know what the
right call is.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
But we won't know, will we?
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Like?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
So she gets this, she might miss mama. We might
want to give mama some suspence.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
She can always call me. My question is you can
always text me? You can always call me? You know that?
How often should I be texting you daily? Weekly?
Speaker 4 (16:30):
Not daily?
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Okay? Once twice a week, three times a week, week,
twice a week, okay, that's fair.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
I wish you would have asked me these questions.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
No, what No. The next one is how should I
check in FaceTime? Text or call? So a text? Is
it okay to FaceTime?
Speaker 4 (16:51):
Yeah? Text me first?
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Text you.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
You never know what I'm going to be doing. There's
also a time difference.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Oh yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
That sounds a little ominous. You never know where I'm
going to be, Like, what the what are your plans?
Speaker 4 (17:06):
Still? I don't know?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
All right, Okay, twice a week and I text you first. Okay,
I can handle that, and then you can call me anytime.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Okay, And that's probably a general letter. I think that's
a good thing to do, Okay. And I have been
people been giving you advice, like telling you what you
can expect or what you should do, like and if so,
what's the best advice you've received?
Speaker 4 (17:25):
I honestly have not. I haven't really received advice from
a lot of college students, more like adults. Best advice
I've received definitely to not overthank it too much. I
feel like I've I've been thinking about it a lot,
not in a good way. I think I just kind
(17:45):
of need to show up, see how it is and
figure it out. Like that's like our life motto. Ever
since your kids like, you'll get there, you'll figure it out,
And I think that's that's how I'm gonna do it.
It's perfect way to go.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
You rob, you have any learns about her readiness, I'd
say that, and that a lot of parents might understand
this that I actually didn't. I didn't fly for the
first time until I was a senior in college. And
you have kids who have traveled all over the world
and buy themselves in a lot of situations. So you
(18:19):
might not have the readiness issue. But do you haven't
you so?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
So yes, And I do think that is something to
point out. I kind of always made it a point
to I didn't spoil my kids with things. You guys
didn't have a lot of material things. I wasn't buying
you lots of clothes or any of those things. But
what I did do is I went went hard on
the experience and so and you all did a lot
(18:43):
of travel on your own. You did service trips, and
you went and without me and for weeks at a time.
So I do feel like you're good at that independence.
You know how to navigate an airport. You even know
how to navigate an international airport, which is cool. What
I worry about is because you've had that experience that
you think you know more than you do. And that's
always my worry, that there's this elevated sense of I
(19:07):
got this, I know this. Also, being a New Yorker,
you you're street savvy to an extent. However, you're in
a foreign country, you don't fully speak the language. You
are fairly proficient in Spanish. But it's this idea of
not knowing what you don't know, and that's what always
worries me.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
Okay, so you're saying I can be cocky.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
No, it's just no, it's no. And that may sound
like that to you. That's not what I meant.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
I meant that, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Well, there's there's a there's a sense and it's not
it's not anything that that you are doing wrong. It's
just that you can't know what's out there. You can't
know what could be out there. So my big I'm
always about I don't want you to be alone. I
always want you to have a buddy. Those are things,
those are the things I worry about your safety more
than that.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
Of course, well I will have a buddy. That's why
I said I was going to miss being alone. Yeah,
I don't. I don't want to put myself in a
situation where I wouldn't want to be doesn't sound like fun.
So I mean, I'm going to try my best. I mean,
I will say, your point goes both ways, so like,
I do know what's out there, but I also could
(20:18):
be too smart about that, So yes, I will. I
will keep an extry out be aware.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
I never got that since in all the time that
she was ever had the feeling of Oh I got
the are you just worried about it or you see something.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Oh no, I'm just worried about it. I don't You're
You're not like that. Yeah, but she is the one
that people, even her older sister would lean on for
navigation logistics, Who has the tickets? What gator are we at?
You have always been that person who has all of
that together, and that is I do know that you're
You're very good with that. So I do appreciate that,
(20:53):
and that'll take you a long way when yeah, people
probably will be leaning on you.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
Yeah. And except for the time I lost I forgot
my passport at home and we had to drive all
the way back and I just switched our flights. Remember that, Oh.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
How could I forget? Yes? And yep, and you ended
up right next to the bathrooms at the back of
the plane.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
That was great. Yeah, the next day.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
My tip was I don't know if y'all did it
that morning, but my tip to folks who are flying internationally.
I have literally done this the night before. I will
take my physical passport and sit it at the front
door to where you care. It's impossible to forget it.
You can do anything as long as you have your passport.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
That's true, you need your passport and you need some
form of financial support. But I know that this has
been a really tough two years and you have come
a long way, and I've been so proud of you
and impressed by you and how you've handled all. You
have been by my side through the whole thing. Was
(21:59):
you see with me the last two years going through
a lot of this together. Ava was with us too,
but she was in her own place in MoU so
it was a little bit of a distance from some
of what we went through. Are there any lessons that
you learned that you will take with you to college
what you've experienced these past two years, because it's probably
much different than most people your age.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
I would definitely say not to dwell on the past.
That would be my big thing. Things happened for a
reason and might not be for a good reason, but
eventually it all works out. And I think that also
really applies to college. There's so many things that's going
to happen to me and I just kind of have
to keep going.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Yeah, you have to let go of control because you
never really had it anyway. Yeah, and then when you
learn that, you're like, Okay, now what do I do
with this? I have to I have to kind of surrender.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
Right myself and keep going.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
That's know who you are, and tomorrow's a new day,
exactly right.
Speaker 4 (23:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
I love the that's called resilience and that's and that's
I mean, those are hard lessons to learn, but they're
ones you'll never forget. Yeah, tell me about your classes. Well,
you said you got to pick your own classes. I
think I know what they are, but why don't you
tell us what the classes are?
Speaker 4 (23:17):
I have an intro to psych, which I've never done.
That's not my intended major either, but I think that
would be interesting. I have a business and Entrepreneurship class,
which I want a major in marketing, so that should help.
I have a writing seminar, an intermediate Spanish one, which
is like the second best Spanish class, which I'm quite
(23:38):
worried about. I hope that goes well. And I have
I don't know what my last one is.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I clearly forgot the spanh you're proficient? Is it fair
to say you're proficient in Spanish?
Speaker 4 (23:50):
I understand better than I can speak it?
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Is there any will you have the option? I don't
think I've asked you this. Do you have the option
to extend your studies in Spain?
Speaker 4 (24:00):
I could, yeah, but I don't want to ask.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
What happens over there?
Speaker 4 (24:08):
Yeah? What happens? It really stays over there.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Oh my goodness. And so we had we actually this
I think helped a lot. I was impressed because when
we went to college, unless you had a roommate or
someone who you were bringing with you, or you could
connect with from your high school going to college, which
is what I did, you kind of it was the
luck of the draw. Whatever roommate you got, you got.
(24:32):
But social media, as much as we liked bash it,
this has been really remarkable to see this process where
you get to meet all the kids and actually kind
of get to know each other online before you ever
decide who you're going to Spain with right or who
you're rooming with.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
It's it's very interesting. Almost every single person I know
who are going to all different schools have this like
group chat. Somehow everyone just finds each other. I got
added to it randomly. I don't know how it was made.
I don't know how you found each other or got
their snapchats. But there's a huge group chat. And then
you go out to dinner and like everyone meets each
other and there's really random just like thirty girls in
(25:08):
this group. It's it's so weird. I think it's really strange.
But I will say it has been my process easier.
I have a roommate, I have a few people I
know going in. I mean I haven't I've met her twice,
but I haven't met the other people yet. So but
I will say social media is it's it's great.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
That takes a lot of the stress away when you've ordered,
Like and we.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Would have stayed closer if I hadn't had that, because
I would have been nervous, worried. Really yeah, well, I.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Don't know, or you would have been sure that you
went somewhere where you knew was going, where your friend
was going. I mean, that's that's so much of it,
because it's all so new and different. So not to
have anyone you know, something that's very scary. So yeah,
we get to meet your roommate Jenna and her mom,
and that that every time you've met her twice now,
and that makes you feel a lot calmer and better. Like,
(25:56):
you know who I'm going with. You're actually going on
the same plane together, like plan that, and I'm not
going with you. I offered to what happened, But.
Speaker 4 (26:04):
No other moms are going. I don't think anyone's family
is going. It's because it's it's such a quick semester.
It's it's only three and a half months. It's very quick.
If it was a full year, yes, but for Boulder.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
For Boulder, I'll help move you in so and so
I'll go through the process again, all over.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Over again, and then next year you can do the
same thing.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Well I'll be good by then I will have gotten
used to it. But yeah, I think it'll be interesting
to kind of just say bye. And and that's a
weird thing seeing other people's parents pack up the door.
Even with Ava going to n y U, I still
drove a car over and helped her up in her
norm So to not help you set up your room
feels very very strange to me.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
We gotta do this twice. Yeah, but by the time
you get over the empty nest syndrome, once she's settled
in Spain and you're good and you find your joy
and your freedom, she's gonna come back Christmas baby really tight,
and then you gotta take her back out to yeah,
and then do the whole thing again.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
I do.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
I all know of that.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
That's tough and yeah, and I was also thinking, like
we've had to get all this stuff that you're gonna
be getting in Spain, Like what do you do? Just
like toss it.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
It's a whole new thing.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
I don't even know to drive it back Like great
for the next persons not have to buy all new
things to go to Boulder. But it's fine. It's a
five below.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
That's a thing there.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Five below that was your favorite favorite favorite store growing up.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
And I loved it too, because everything is five dollars.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
I take my sisters now for their birthday Christmas. I'm like, guys,
five below trip, let's go, and they're so excited.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Who else do you have? Isn't it more than don't
you have several people you know going to Bolder?
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Yeah they're not, I mean, not as close as I
am with Neve, But yeah, I do know quite a
few people. I'd say like ten, just from all parts
of life. Like those service trips. Were talking about three
of those people who I am that on one trip
in twenty twenty two are all going to Boulder. So random,
so weird, and I haven't talked to them in like
(28:11):
two years and they're going there.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
So wow. And again the power of social media that
you could stay connected and know that you all are
going to go there. Yeah, what are you most looking
forward to? Like when you get to Boulder? Hm?
Speaker 4 (28:27):
I really want to hike?
Speaker 2 (28:29):
That is so funny.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
Well yeah, and oh no, no, no, no skiing over hiking.
Hiking's more accessible for me. Skiing means like I have
to go and rent skis into the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
But it is funny. I mean, I will say this,
I'll brag on you a little bit because you were
just twelve years old when you summitted Killemanjarro and it
was remarkable because you were throwing up. I probably could
have gotten me. I don't know know. I was wondering
if I was the worst parent in the world or
this was a good motivating experience for you. But you
(29:02):
struggled and you did it anyway. And there were a
couple of times where you're like, and you've you've you
climbed Mount Baker, which is a glacier, You went up
the Roman Wall. You said you couldn't do it. The
guy who actually had summited ever said you're going up.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
Oh, he dragged me basically, but but you walked.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
It was your feet that got you up. And I
and I've seen you've done the You've done the Andes Mountains.
You got up to like fifteen thousand feet there. So
you and you hated it every step of the way,
and and you complained every step of the way, which
I understand. You were a kid. So it's so funny
the kid who I I did force you, I did
push you now says you like hiking. What what was
(29:41):
the change?
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Like?
Speaker 2 (29:42):
How did you go from hating it and not honestly
like hating me for it and saying, now I hate
hiking because you made me do it. What was the
change where suddenly you're like, I like this, Well, I
love it.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
I think I securely liked it all along. It's just
you want to hate things that your mom makes you do.
That's that's just a guarantee. I don't know. I I
being at the top is just that's an unmatched failing.
So I kind of just relished in that. We also
haven't hiked in a while, and so I do kind
of miss it because it really did take up a
(30:13):
lot of our time. Like we would go upstate and
we'd hike up, or we'd go up and down our
driveway what like.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
The entire day with fortys yes, and ever.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
We did that every single weekend.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
Because you had to train. There's no way you can
walk up.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
It's weird to not have that because it was so
it was a part of your life. It really was.
So I'm excited and also Colorado, like, you can't not
like hiking in those mountains. It's so pretty.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
What age were you carrying them the packs?
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Oh eleven, yeah, forty pound packs because to go up
Mount Baker, to go up a glacier like that, and
we were we actually camped on the glacier. Oh yeah, yes,
and we had crampons and anyway you have to carry.
Basically you have to carry possible you have to have
a pick axe. You have your crampons, but you also
have to have clothing for any possible weather. When you're
(31:06):
up that high on a mountain, when you're doing serious hiking,
you have to have rain, your warmth, you have to
be able to have layers. There's just a lot of
things you have to carry, and you're own water. We
actually drank the water from the glacier. But you know,
we had to carry MREs ready to eat meals. What
did I said? I don't know if I said that
meals ready to eat? Is that what it is? Yeah,
but yeah, there's a lot of things you have to carry. Now,
(31:28):
we did take some things out of your pack and
put it in ours to lighten your load, which I get.
And then the nice thing is the final stretch up
that Roman wall. Our guide let you leave the pack,
which is almost never allowed. But I don't yeah, at
the very end.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
Because it was really rough. It was rough.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
It was tough, but like you said, if you when
you get to the top, it's an unmatched feeling and
the only reason why it's an unmatched feeling is because
it was so hard. If it was easy. I remember
I told you guys this. I don't know if you
appreciated it, but I wanted you to feel what it
was like to get to the other side of pain.
To get on the other side of pain. That was
your favorite because it's a Umanism for life. If you
(32:07):
get through this really tough time, you don't think you
can do it. You actually want to quit a million times.
But when you keep pushing yourself and you get to
the other side of it, you're like it was You
always end up saying it was worth it.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
And now you're going to be hiking it. I'm so
excited to hear that that that is going to be
an awesome thing to see you hiking and skiing. And
I would say, my biggest advice to you is to
go to class. Don't skip class. Go to class. That's
the plan. It would be more than a plan, it's
(32:41):
my life.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
No I will, I promise.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
That's good. And what you say, you're getting a marketing degree,
But what is it that you are hoping that you
can do with your college degree?
Speaker 4 (32:51):
No idea? I got nothing honest answer that decision will
be made throughout time.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
That's very fair.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
I kind of want to be like Emily in Paris
if anyone's seen that.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Show one of your favorites. And how you mean you
want to live abroad and be in a marketing firm.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
Yeah, it doesn't have to be abroad. Maybe there's like
offices abroad and I can travel, but yeah, something like that.
I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
You get the reference to Emilion parents reference. I'm not
alone in the room?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Okay, season four just drop? Did you finish?
Speaker 4 (33:26):
It's only one part? One part?
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (33:29):
We were actually all at TJ's. Was that at TJ's birthday? Yeah,
the first night when Emily and Paris dropped.
Speaker 4 (33:35):
Oh, and then.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
I was like, I don't think we're gonna watch that
because half the room doesn't watch it, meaning TJ has
no idea what the show even is.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
I said, do your thing, say you could go ahead.
I just some four seasons behind.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Apparently if you watched the first episode you'd be like, nah,
you would not like it.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
Really now.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Italy thing something? And then what was the Rome and
the Under?
Speaker 4 (34:04):
The Under?
Speaker 2 (34:06):
When we were in Rome, we found a really cheesy
movie called Gelato that you know what. You know what
if you watched that and enjoyed it for whatever reason
you enjoyed it, then you would enjoy Emily and Pass.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
I love a good cheesy movie our TV show.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Can you explain why you like rom comms to tj M?
Speaker 4 (34:32):
I don't know. I just I love the false perception
of love. I think it's very unrealistic, but it's also
so fun to watch.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Do you think it gives and I'll just say, specifically
young women a false expectation. Isn't that damaging?
Speaker 4 (34:51):
It's so damaging. I mean, we grew up watching them,
you love them. We were even like the Barbie movies
and and their love interests. I'm like, what's happening? It's
not real, but that's my way to escape.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
I'm not convinced. I've been saying this to her a
lot recently. I'm not convinced you are her kid, because
you all are so different. Just y'all both watch rom coms,
but for different reasons. You you answered like dead pant,
Yeah it's it's it's a total load of crape, but
still it gives a false import.
Speaker 5 (35:22):
You're you all are so different, I swear, And what
did I tell you when you question whether or not
Analyst was actually mine from a DNA standpoint.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Wait, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
I told you that twenty three and meters has proved that,
in fact, is my child.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Even the fact that you have to turn to a d.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Well, I just be like that was irrefutable. I mean,
if you really had questions, I can promise you. I
can assure you she is my child.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
I think you and Ava are pas. They say, exactly
the same person.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
They grew up on the sandpod.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
But who do I get along with better on a
day to day basis you? Because when you're too much alike,
you butt heads and we compliment each other. So I
think it's it's extra sad because you've just been like
such an awesome I don't want to call you a
roommate because you're my daughter, but to live with just
just like what a unique experience. You can look at
the bad and the negative with divorce and upheople and
(36:18):
all of that. That's not anything I would ever suggest
or want for anyone or any family. However, we have
had the unique experience of being able to just be
the two of us, and we always had so many
people in our apartment and so many people different living
with different people living with us at different times. And
we've always had a lot of people. Even during the pandemic,
we had a commune. Basically we had friends living with us.
Speaker 4 (36:40):
It was like fifteen people up there.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
We did, and it was a bubble, but it was
like fifteen people and so we're used to having just
a loud crowd around.
Speaker 4 (36:50):
Us, and so it was. Yeah, it was a big
change though for just us too, it was. But I
think we did got into a groove. We did.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
Yeah, and we've I think we've only had like one
or two flare ups ever, like in eighteen years. And
that I'm just appreciative of your You have a very
calm and cool like you're the cool girl. Everybody wants
you to be their friend. It's like TJ's the cool guy,
everybody wants him to like them. You have that same quality. Me.
(37:21):
I'm like, please like me, please like me, which is annoying.
And I get that.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
So we get along, but we don't get it because
we're just sitting back mind in our own business in
the corner. Yeah, why are you all trying to pull
us into this? We are absolutely and I that's the
thing about Anily. There have been times we have a
room full of people and I don't understand anything they're
talking about, and I think it's ridiculous and silly, and
everybody's into it. And then I finally cut my ales
(37:45):
off an Anily. She's got the same look on her
phrase as I do. I say, Okay, I found my tribe.
Speaker 4 (37:51):
That shouldn't be my whole life. It's like Ava and
Mom talking and I'm like, just there, absolutely silent.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
It's hard to get a word in. Edge Wise, I
will say yeah, and then add my mom, no, needn't miss.
Speaker 4 (38:05):
Oh yeah, I'm we'll never speak again.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
You and Pop my dad will just be like, I'll
take it in, observe, listen, and probably be the wiser
for it, because the less you talk, the more you learn.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
How often did you Analyst feel like it was funny
at times but that you all were roommates, certainly more
so in recent months as you got more freedom, and yeah, graduate, yeah,
but it was It's funny that I absolutely see you
all texting or talk and say, hey, what are you
doing tonight? What are you doing? Can I have the apartment? Well,
we want the apartment? Like you do talk like we do.
Speaker 4 (38:45):
Yeah, that's only been in recent months. Yes, I definitely
think in the beginning it was what was I like sixteen, Yeah,
I obviously had the trick curfew. It wasn't as much
as like, yes, I raised you like I'm going wherever
I want.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
I raised you very strictly, yes, New York extity.
Speaker 4 (39:00):
And that now it's I mean, what's the point I'm
living anyway, So it's kind of just I'm.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
A big believer. This past year it's I've I made
a conscious effort to loosen the rope and to let
you have more freedom, just because when it happens drastically
and everyone has their own way of parenting, but when
you go from being strict and curfuse and you know,
do this, don't do this, and if you do this,
(39:25):
you're gonna be punished and there's gonna be consequences. I
absolutely raised you like that up until this last.
Speaker 4 (39:32):
Year, and then I thought, which I think is totally fair.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
I just wanted it to be a little bit more
of a transition and less of a jarring, completely opposite experience, right,
And it's been fun because A I trust you, You've
I don't I don't think you've you're not somebody who
was sneaking around or yeah, so I've just I felt
more comfortable doing that.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
You come back some nights, Oh.
Speaker 4 (40:02):
That was this year.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
Well, the first time you had no curfew was your
prom I said.
Speaker 4 (40:08):
Oh, yes, I didn't even stay at that late that night,
and you didn't.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
But I told you you didn't have a curfew. You
were like home at a fairly decent hour. I was like,
that's funny. It's not how it always works.
Speaker 4 (40:16):
It's hilarious.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
It's more fun when you can sneeze, right. But no,
it's been it's been a really it's been a really
good year. And I've been, like I said, so impressed
with how you've handled everything. I mean, paparazzi. You you
actually even handled all that so while that that upset
me more than anything that you know, he was at
the time, you were under eighteen and your picture was
(40:39):
being taken without you wanting it to and and you
handled that with grace, because yeah, what.
Speaker 4 (40:45):
Did you say?
Speaker 2 (40:45):
One time You're like, ooh, they got me good.
Speaker 4 (40:47):
Well, we were in a fight. Do you remember that?
We were bickering home from the gym. I was, I
was so mad and you were so mad at me,
and there there's a picture. I'm like, I have this
disgusted look on my face and you look like there's
steam coming out of you. And they got us right,
we were doing that.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
It was just either you said something or did something
else like that is inappropriate analyst. So I was giving
you a stern talking to.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
The headline to try to make.
Speaker 4 (41:13):
Fun of the fact that, No, I don't think they
caught on that we were fighting, but we knew we were.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
And yes, and you're like, they got me good.
Speaker 4 (41:23):
They've gotten this. They've gotten me good a few times.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
And then you've taken pictures and made fun of me,
like the one on the city bike. We ended up
trying to treat a lot of this to.
Speaker 4 (41:31):
Make light of the situation. It's very strange, and we've tried.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
To treat a lot of this with humor and humility.
And I think you know, as hard as it's been, like,
those are lessons you will take with you when things
get tough. Sometimes humor is the only thing that gets
you through.
Speaker 4 (41:45):
We love dark humor.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
You're great at dark himmer.
Speaker 4 (41:47):
Yeah, it's my forte.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
So does this one over here? Another thing you have
in common that that dark humor, that what did I say, devilish,
devilish la something like, ye, do you have the same thing.
Speaker 4 (42:02):
It's my favorite thing to do. It always makes people laugh,
and I love making people laugh. That's the goal.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
From the time you were a little like you were
a one year old little bobblehead, could barely walk. You
were making us laugh that but that's you have always
been the comedic relief in the family, which has been
which has been fine.
Speaker 4 (42:20):
I actually just got a fortune cookie and my fortune
was like you make the room like happy with your
comedy or something.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
And that has absolutely been the truth. Ava likes to
tell you all the time that you were an accident, yes,
or a mistake.
Speaker 4 (42:35):
She goes, a mistake is her favorite thing.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
I think it's a mistake. You weren't planned, is the point.
But it's I and I said, yeah, but she knows this,
this this is fully discussed. But I was one and done.
But you know what I said, you were like the
greatest joy that I ever ever got. That I wasn't
(42:59):
choosing or that I I didn't think I wanted, Like
you were something that came into my life that was
just turned into the most beautiful thing. Have you ever
had something where you didn't intend to have it or
you didn't want it necessarily and then you got it
and you're like, this is the best thing that ever happened. Yes, okay,
that's how Annie was this sweet little thing and I
(43:22):
called her my beanbag you and I think this is
what makes me cry, because you never wanted to leave
my side when you were little, and Aba was the opposite. Hilariously,
she was always running away and saying see you later, bye.
And and now you kind of have done a reversal,
weave my side and you're like, see I you. You
(43:45):
declared early on, maybe even middle school, I am not
going to college in New York.
Speaker 4 (43:49):
You knew. I knew. Yeah that was not because I've
lived here. I don't know. I just I couldn't. I
couldn't keep doing it.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Well.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
I love that you're sprouting your wings, and I will
be okay. I will be okay, And I never want
you to worry about that or make a decision based
on that, because I love seeing you do your thing,
and I love that you're different than me, and I
love that you're different than your sister. I love that
you have your own way of operating and going through life.
(44:17):
It's fun to watch you and I can't wait to
see what you do next.
Speaker 4 (44:21):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
Is there anything rooms you're looking forward to?
Speaker 3 (44:24):
Like?
Speaker 1 (44:24):
Is there anything? Not as a joke here, but a
lot of parents who do their kids. There was even
this thing? Was it emptiness? Divorce? Right? Once you have
time to now focus on each other, you realize, oh,
we don't like each other. Yep, there's a thing, But
a lot of folks start to re discover themselves and
start doing. But is there anything you are looking forward
(44:45):
to possible?
Speaker 2 (44:45):
Well? There? The thing is, there's been so much change,
and my focus and your focus has been on making
sure our kids are okay. Now that I've got the
two girls like out in the world living their lives,
and I don't know how much much you know, I've
focused on me or on me and on us. Of
course there's been an element to that, but it's always
(45:07):
been in the background of them. And so they say
to your point that either a lot of times what
happens in a marriage or any relationship is either when
you have that now quality time where you're not distracted
with kids, you either find this new bond and you
grow closer and you have this like I think that
happened for my parents big time, like significantly, which was
(45:30):
cool to see. But or you realize that you don't
need to be together and you need to find something
else or someone else, So it's a time to really
re evaluate everything.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
So, wow, this is gonna be the no.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
But you know, you know what's interesting too, is like
getting in a relationship later in life when you already
have kids. You never got that honeymoon period where you
just got to be the two of you, right, And
I know we have Sabine, but the thing is you
are always focused the kids. You're always a major part
of any relationship you have. So this will be kind
of the first time where I can focus lucky you
(46:10):
on you and us in a way that how's that
going to go?
Speaker 4 (46:14):
I haven't been able to do before, Scared.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
It'll be too much.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Well, it's true. Every single morning, I think you know this,
at least we our day is structured. We can't do
anything until we hear from you and Toby about what
the day and then we fill it in around you guys.
So to think now we only have the being schedule, yeah,
right to consider and we usually can't fill out our
schedule at least until later because.
Speaker 4 (46:40):
I never wake up my mind, and you don't wake
up till eleven.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
Yes, you don't wake up until eleven o'clock.
Speaker 4 (46:47):
No, I wake up that like ted, That is a
normal time to wake up. But you guys are just crazy.
Speaker 1 (46:51):
But you don't come out and say hello until eleven.
Speaker 4 (46:54):
Yeah, I have to I have to process be waking up.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
That is where different significant.
Speaker 4 (47:01):
Maybe when I'm older, I could see myself being an earlier.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
But you know, but how how much have I annoyed
you in the last and a half every day asking
you what are you doing?
Speaker 4 (47:11):
And you're like, You've never acted like this. You've never
like said that before, because there's always like, oh, you
went to work, I went to school. We kind of
like met at home, you know.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
But now I have a lot more time, and I'm
trying to incorporate you, and I know you're leaving soon,
so I was trying to incorporate you in as much
as possible and you were like, now you're suffocating.
Speaker 4 (47:28):
Yeah, I'm like, mom, I've never had someone care this
much about my schedule.
Speaker 2 (47:33):
Can you please go back to what you used to
do in the morning and I didn't have to see you.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
I could go to work many times that I say, heye,
just give her a beat. Don't worry about it because
she's stressing you out about your schedule, because she's trying
to make some plan. Think I don't know.
Speaker 4 (47:48):
I let it go. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (47:50):
What are we going to do now? There's no wow.
Speaker 4 (47:54):
I there will be a.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
Transition, and I think we will all find some freedom
that we didn't have before, and we can still have
a beautiful, loving relationship. But it's just gonna it's gonna
change a little bit, and it's been changing this past year. Yeah,
you shift. I'll always be your mom, but I get
to be a little bit more of your friend now,
and that's kind of fun. I can I can take
(48:22):
my hands off the wheel a little bit, and I
you know, little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems.
I always wanted to do the hard work early, not
that you weren't going to make mistakes. I hope you
make plenty of them. I just hope you make them safely,
but that's how you learn. But I do feel like
it's nice to know that I put in the work early,
and now you get to lead the way and make
(48:44):
your own path. And I feel good about it.
Speaker 4 (48:46):
I feel good about it, definitely.
Speaker 2 (48:49):
Well, I can't wait. I can't wait to watch you fly.
Speaker 4 (48:52):
Oh wait.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
I had these cute little quotes I wanted to leave
anyone who's going through this. Sometimes I like quotes, tej.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
You like quotes. I was bracing for it.
Speaker 4 (49:01):
I oh no.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
So these were the two quotes I really liked, and
I wanted to share these with any other parent out
there who's going through this. These these made me. The
first one's from the Dali Lama give the ones you love,
wings to fly, roots to come back, and reasons to stay.
I thought that was very sweet.
Speaker 4 (49:20):
Preach.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Yeah, I'm gonna get that tattooed on me.
Speaker 2 (49:24):
I love that I had that impact on you or
the doll. I would you say in your handwriting, Oh wow,
that's not cheesy. This one, however, has some humor to it,
and this made me laugh. And I think sometimes, as
we talked about, that's what we need in these moments
when we're a little sad. However painful, the process of
leaving home for parents and for children, the really frightening
(49:46):
thing for both would be the prospect of the child
never leaving home.
Speaker 4 (49:52):
It was kind of fun.
Speaker 2 (49:53):
This is what is supposed to happen for all parties involved.
And I remember when I first held you. You, I
told myself, my job is to make sure this little
girl can live on her own and be happy with
herself and move on from you know, from being under
my under my wing. That my job is to make
(50:14):
her independent of me and to be successfully independent and happy.
And so I remember reminding myself of that along the way,
that that was my number one job to guide you
to be your own person.
Speaker 4 (50:26):
Think about how annoyed you would be if I stayed
at home entire life.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
You know, if you stayed for the next couple of years.
I don't think she'd be upset. I think she'd be
excited about that. I think you would.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
Yeah, well, I still have a winter break and summer break.
Although wat she'll start becoming like an instructor and staying
there and everything. I could see you doing all sorts
of stuff, But it's your life to live, and I'll
be okay, and I can't. I'll be your cheerleader, cheerleader
back home no matter what. I love you, I love you.
Speaker 1 (51:02):
I love you guys too. All folks. We appreciate you
all listening as always. Folks, if you're out there, if
you're about to send your kid off, you're going to
be okay. The three steps they say of this, what
is it the empty nest syndrome. It's grief, relief, and
then joy. It's coming. Everybody's going to be fine. It's
(51:25):
tougher on some than others, but a lot of folks
go through and they make it through, are just fine,
and some come out really well on the other side.
So es, you're going to be okay. I'll be here
with you through this one and then the next time
we have to do it with their in December, right oday,
I'll be here with you. Now, let's go get that
contractor and start working on her room.
Amy Robach gave birth to her youngest daughter, Analyse, on
May tenth, two thousand and six. Now this month, August
of twenty twenty four, Amy Robach is going to drive
that same baby, now eighteen years old, to the airport,
put that baby on a plane, and send that baby
off to college in Europe. And at that point, it's
(00:27):
likely Robock will experience what millions of parents experience every
single year, feelings of loneliness, anxiety, depression. It's something called
empty nest syndrome. Meanwhile, I'll be back at the house,
turning Analice's bedroom into a home office. And with that,
welcome everybody to this episode of Amy and Tza. You
(00:48):
knew I wasn't going to come on. That's not how
I was supposed to go. No, no, no, no. Now
this is fun, This is renewal, this is exciting. Everybody's
getting a new chapter. But tell me this, babe, when
was the last time you lived alone?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
I only lived alone for ten months and it was
when I was twenty two years old. That is the
last time I have lived alone.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Wait, in life, your entire life only lived by yourself.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
At twenty, when I went to my first job at
WCBD TV two Action News. I moved into my sad
little apartment on Palmetto Boulevard, and I had ten months
until Analisa's dad moved in while we were engaged before
we got married.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Wow, ten months to think. Okay, so let's let's talk
to everybody about what we're talking about here. That Yes,
your daughter, who is sitting in studio with us now
and Alicia, baby eighteen, is about to go to college
and it's a very texciting time for her, but for
you and a bunch of other parents, this is a
very difficult time of transition. And even though empty nest
syndrome we were saying is not a clinical diagnosed.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
It's not a medical diet, yes, but.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
It's a real thing, a phenomenon.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
We should call it, yes, And I think I have
been scared about it for the last year. Yeah, I've
been nervous, like letting go.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
What are you nervous about? I'm asking that genuinely.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
And they do say that women are disproportionately affected than men,
But I think.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
They say we're not emotionally prepared. We're just we're not
emotionally mature enough to handle it.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
I think, especially with the trajectory of my life. And
the one thing that's stayed the same, the one thing
that's never wavered, is my relationship with my children.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
Like I have never.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
All the ins and outs and ups and downs with life,
that love was the one constant in my life that
never changed.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
And so it's not going to change. But the location,
the logistics, that is what's going to change. And that
is hard to let go of.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Because your purpose, of course is to live a full
and exciting life.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
But a big part of that purpose.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
When you're a mom is making sure your kids are
okay and making sure they have what they need and
that they you know, when you have to let them just.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Go off in the world. You have to let go.
And that's hard.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
And I'll be fine and I'll get there, but I
have been I have not been looking forward to this.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Well, if it's any relief, the statistics show you'll get
over it really soon.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Because I laugh because I was looking at that too.
They said sometimes it takes a couple of weeks. Yep,
in some cases it does take a couple months. My
mom will tell you it took her about two years.
She really has been honest about that. But hilariously.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
I saw on the flip side, some parents report feeling relief.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
And then guilt because they feel relieved. But there's a
whole new way of operating when you don't have to
worry or think about or just be constantly monitoring your children.
All of a sudden, you have all this time back mentally, physically, logistically,
and it can be great, but it's a big change.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
You h you talked about all the sad stuff, and
then you listed all these things that sound like you're
looking forward to later.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I'm just laughing that I saw some people immediately feel really.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
And others don't. But look, everybody listening here. You've if
you've listened to at least two of these previous episodes,
you've heard Analyst's name because we're constantly talking about the girls. Analyst,
Eva and Sabine there are always here and by our side.
But Analyse is actually in the studio with us, now,
only a couple of days away from getting on a
plane and starting her college journey. Can I ask, before
(04:40):
we're getting into anything, Analyse, I was watching as your
mom is sitting here you and I wait, I don't
want to say we're unemotional people. But Mom is sitting
here crying and we're just taking it in there it is,
that's the way to put it. But what do you
what are you thinking and feeling hearing your mom? I
mean we're ten seconds into the podcast and she's already
(05:02):
crying about leaving.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
I mean there's been a lot of chairs already, eight months,
in the past few weeks, in the past few days.
But I mean, I'm sad, definitely, but I'm not I'm
not crying as much because I think I'll cry when
I get there. I'm excited. I don't know, but I'm
sad for you, but I think you'll have a good time.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
We'll see. And I don't want to put the guilt
of that on you, because I was telling you my
mom was a wreck when I went to school, and
I remember being.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
You're still going to be a wreck.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Of course I am, And I'm not hiding it very
well at all. I remember being mad at her for
not hiding it better because I didn't want to feel
guilty about leaving her, and I thought, I'm never going
to do that, And here I am doing it, and
it's not like anyone's doing it to someone. It's just
it's a sign of love and it's a part of
the process, you know, And for me, I come by
it naturally obviously, like this was my mom. My grandmother
(05:54):
was like this. We we love hard and it's hard
to like go unless you.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Feel any guilt. You are any way. You want to
comfort your mom out of what we've seen in over
the past couple of weeks. Do you feel that at all?
Speaker 4 (06:05):
I don't feel guilty. Good, But yeah, I don't. I don't.
But because I'm excited for you. I think this is
in a chapter and I think it will be fun.
You have many things to look forward to.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
That's very sweet. What are you most excited about, m.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
I'd definitely say new experiences, new friends. I love all
my friends, don't get me wrong, but I think just
like new characters in my life, and especially in Boulder, hiking, skiing,
all the outdoor activities. Living in New York, you don't
really do that as much, so that will be exciting.
(06:45):
Classes picking my own classes is very fun. Never done that.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah, you get some you get some autonomy. We were
talking we took the train up the w train up here,
and we were saying, I was saying to you, this
is going to be the like you've had a few
tastes of freedom, but you're gonna act actually have this
moment where you think, oh my god, Yeah, I can
get up when I want to, I can go to
bed when I want to, I can stay out as
late as I want. I can do and eat and
(07:10):
be whoever whatever I want. And that is a really
cool that moment when you're like, I am free and
you don't have a lot of responsibilities, at least financial
ones right now.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
No, yeah, this is it.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
You know, and we can you. I'll let you tell
everybody you're you're going to be enrolled. You are in
rolled now at University of Colorado at Boulder, but you
get to spend your first semester elsewhere. I'll let you
tell what's about to happen.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Yeah, I'm going to Spain for my first semester, which
will definitely be a culture shock for me. I've spent
some time in Europe, so hopefully it won't be too scary.
But that's yeah, that's only for September to December, so
don't be there for that long. But that will be
a fun little transition to my first semester in college
(07:58):
and then I go to Boulder.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
And you say you were feeling a little bit of
anxiety because although it's super cool to get to go
to Seville or Sabilla, however you want to say it,
in Spain, you'll basically be going to Boulder in this
spring semester, and you were a little concerned that maybe
you'll be catching up or they'll be clicks already formed.
So there's some anxiety. Like you're always anticipating, you know,
what's going to happen next. So have you been able
(08:20):
to just focus on right here, right now today instead
of thinking, oh, no, what's going to happen next semester?
Don't we all do that and just psych ourselves out?
Speaker 4 (08:28):
Sometimes I'm trying to focus on the present right now
and not the future because I will technically be a
transfer student even though I'm enrolled. But like people will
look at me as like, oh, she's coming and she
hated her school first semester, Like until I explain it,
I don't know. I just feel like, I mean, I
haven't really been the new kid that many times, but
I've seen all the movies, you know, all the TV shows,
(08:50):
and it always looks like the worst thing ever to
be the new girl. Yes, I'd rather not be that.
But my best friend is going to Boulder, so she'll
be there lay out the land for me.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Yeah, that's me. We talked about even the last podcast.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Yeah to me, why Boulder? Can you explain it?
Speaker 2 (09:05):
It?
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Golda became the hot school when everybody was looking why, Yeah,
it was.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
It was incredibly random. I wasn't even going to apply.
I applied to like eight other schools and all of
them I mainly got into. And I was like, don't
want to go. And I got into Boulder and this
like weird program didn't even get any money. Like it was.
It was very random. Not probably the best school for
me to go to logistically, but I saw it and
I was like, I have to go. I felt a
(09:30):
poll and I couldn't explain it. I couldn't tell you why,
but I just knew.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
And it was really nobody was a ton of your
friends and everybody seemed to think that was.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
The Yeah, it never was. It never was at school,
which is so weird, Like it kind of was a
kind of a I don't know. It wasn't the most
popular school, at least in New York. I don't know,
it just happened.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
And I know the skiing and the hiking, and and
your degree also plays a role in that as well.
Where you wanted to go. And then we were wondering
if the Dione Sanders effect had some sort of impact
on people thinking suddenly the Boulder was school because their
football program has been in the national Yeah, I think so.
I mean, I know you're excited about football season when
you get their next ball.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Yeah. I was planning on joining the team.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Football.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
But you have our word that we will be showing
up for a football game yes or two. Why did
you want to go so far away from mom? Like,
you know, I tried so hard to get you to
stay on the East Coast. I even was trying to
pitch University of Georgia, where a family is, and you
wanted nothing to do with it. You you only applied
(10:41):
to one school on the East Coast.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
And isay.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
She was.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, she never left and she probably never will.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Yeah, well, it had nothing to do with you, obviously.
I don't know. I wanted to change. I felt like
it was just right for me. There wasn't really that
much behind it, but I was kind of like why not.
I know, I want to live in New York when
I'm older, in my twenties, so it's like, why not
change it up for four years?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
But specifically you did. I'm not getting away from Mom,
but you wanted to get kind of away from New
York and the Northeast. That was a part of distance
from this place.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Oh wow, And that's bold because you want to see
something else, you want to see something new. And for
those of us who weren't raised in New York, I
always appreciate people who do have the wherewithal to experience
other parts of either this country or the world, because
New York is truly a bubble and when you meet
folks and we know a lot of them who were
born and raised here and never left, there is a mindset.
(11:39):
And so I do think it's cool just because we've
had the experience of seeing how other people do things,
and New York is very much different than the rest
of the country for sure. And it was interesting because
I looked it up because I just thought, Wow, I
was upset that you were going so far away. But
I'm happy that you're going to where you want to go.
But do you know that only fifteen and a half
percent a freshman at ten schools more than five hundred
(12:01):
miles away. So wow, lucky me, I got one and
a fifteen percent. So only fifty percent of freshmen go
five hundred miles or more away from their home. Fifty
two percent of students don't go more than one hundred
miles from home. I think I went about forty miles
from home, and that's more typical. How about you went
(12:22):
very far.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Across the state. I don't know the mileage, but yeah, stay.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
In state state for very much. Do you think you're
going to be homesick?
Speaker 4 (12:31):
I think a little bit, yes, But I also you
didn't have phones or FaceTime.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
That's true.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
There's a big difference as to where, like I can
see your faces, I can see our dog's face.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Who or what will you miss the most?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
I was thinking she was going to say Brody the
dog or not. Well, I mean, just be honest. You
can't say and your sister your sister too?
Speaker 4 (13:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Yeah, Is there is there something about New York that
you will miss? Forget the people the most?
Speaker 4 (13:13):
Mmm, I'd say walking on my own. I feel like
I'm not going to be doing a lot of that,
even in Spain. I think it's going to be like
walking in groups to classes, just because I think they're
probably pretty protective of these eighteen year olds just being
dropped off in Europe. So I think that sense of freedom.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
You're going to miss your alone time. Yes, you like
alone time.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
I do like alone time.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I sent TJ picture. He's like, what's analyst doing? And
I sent him a picture of your door closed? And
I said, per usual, she's in her room. I thought
you might say asuka sushi.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Oh, I do love a suka. I'm going to miss
like Chipotle, Chick fil A, Keynes, all the good ones.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
How about this? What is the thing you think will
be maybe even the day. I don't know how you're
gonna set up your room and everything when you get
over there. But what's the thing you think you would
see in your room often or that will remind you
of home and make you a little sad.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
Well, I'm bringing a bulletin board. I don't really have
a lot of photos printed out. The I brought really
strange photos like it's I don't even know if it's
gonna remind me of good times because I don't have
any printed.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
We can stop by Dwayne Reid tomorrow and print some
photos for you.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Yeah, photoed don't They're like really random, very strange.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I gave you a photo of us to take with you.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
Yes, I have that, you have the wind, you have that,
and I have a few like friendom decor that I
took off my walls to bring.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Uh so, I wait, are you gonna bring your baby blanket?
Here's a little fun fact about Anally's. She never goes
anywhere without her Gigi overnight typically. I mean, I think
you've done some sleepovers without it recently. I didn't bring it.
But what kind of shape is it in? And are
you bringing it?
Speaker 4 (14:56):
It almost looks like a sleeping bag. I wonder if
people can relate to that. I used to sleep in it.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
It's very small too.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
It's very small, incredibly small. So I don't really bring
up that many places.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
It's in her room, trust me.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Here's the funny thing.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
She actually had an original, beautiful baby blanket with her
name embroidered. I think one of my friends gave it
to you from Pottery Barn Kids or something. And then
you got carsick and we had to throw the blanket
out and desperation because you were like gig you just
that's what you called it. We had to stop by
a Coles and get a random you know, just pink
(15:34):
and white with clouds on it, and that is still
the blanket.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
You have no idea.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
I think Eva made it up.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
I don't know brand.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
So many parents are dealing with this, and if they
haven't already, they will soon enough. This is the day
that so many of us dread. And then we don't
know what to do, because yes, we're trying to give
you your freedom and let you have your independence. But
I have some questions for you, like genuine questions about
what you want, what you need from me while you're
at school. How often should I check in with you?
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Really?
Speaker 2 (16:12):
I think I think parents want to know what the
right call is.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
But we won't know, will we?
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Like?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
So she gets this, she might miss mama. We might
want to give mama some suspence.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
She can always call me. My question is you can
always text me? You can always call me? You know that?
How often should I be texting you daily? Weekly?
Speaker 4 (16:30):
Not daily?
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Okay? Once twice a week, three times a week, week,
twice a week, okay, that's fair.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
I wish you would have asked me these questions.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
No, what No. The next one is how should I
check in FaceTime? Text or call? So a text? Is
it okay to FaceTime?
Speaker 4 (16:51):
Yeah? Text me first?
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Text you.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
You never know what I'm going to be doing. There's
also a time difference.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Oh yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
That sounds a little ominous. You never know where I'm
going to be, Like, what the what are your plans?
Speaker 4 (17:06):
Still? I don't know?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
All right, Okay, twice a week and I text you first. Okay,
I can handle that, and then you can call me anytime.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Okay, And that's probably a general letter. I think that's
a good thing to do, Okay. And I have been
people been giving you advice, like telling you what you
can expect or what you should do, like and if so,
what's the best advice you've received?
Speaker 4 (17:25):
I honestly have not. I haven't really received advice from
a lot of college students, more like adults. Best advice
I've received definitely to not overthank it too much. I
feel like I've I've been thinking about it a lot,
not in a good way. I think I just kind
(17:45):
of need to show up, see how it is and
figure it out. Like that's like our life motto. Ever
since your kids like, you'll get there, you'll figure it out,
And I think that's that's how I'm gonna do it.
It's perfect way to go.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
You rob, you have any learns about her readiness, I'd
say that, and that a lot of parents might understand
this that I actually didn't. I didn't fly for the
first time until I was a senior in college. And
you have kids who have traveled all over the world
and buy themselves in a lot of situations. So you
(18:19):
might not have the readiness issue. But do you haven't
you so?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
So yes, And I do think that is something to
point out. I kind of always made it a point
to I didn't spoil my kids with things. You guys
didn't have a lot of material things. I wasn't buying
you lots of clothes or any of those things. But
what I did do is I went went hard on
the experience and so and you all did a lot
(18:43):
of travel on your own. You did service trips, and
you went and without me and for weeks at a time.
So I do feel like you're good at that independence.
You know how to navigate an airport. You even know
how to navigate an international airport, which is cool. What
I worry about is because you've had that experience that
you think you know more than you do. And that's
always my worry, that there's this elevated sense of I
(19:07):
got this, I know this. Also, being a New Yorker,
you you're street savvy to an extent. However, you're in
a foreign country, you don't fully speak the language. You
are fairly proficient in Spanish. But it's this idea of
not knowing what you don't know, and that's what always
worries me.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
Okay, so you're saying I can be cocky.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
No, it's just no, it's no. And that may sound
like that to you. That's not what I meant.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
I meant that, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Well, there's there's a there's a sense and it's not
it's not anything that that you are doing wrong. It's
just that you can't know what's out there. You can't
know what could be out there. So my big I'm
always about I don't want you to be alone. I
always want you to have a buddy. Those are things,
those are the things I worry about your safety more
than that.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
Of course, well I will have a buddy. That's why
I said I was going to miss being alone. Yeah,
I don't. I don't want to put myself in a
situation where I wouldn't want to be doesn't sound like fun.
So I mean, I'm going to try my best. I mean,
I will say, your point goes both ways, so like,
I do know what's out there, but I also could
(20:18):
be too smart about that, So yes, I will. I
will keep an extry out be aware.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
I never got that since in all the time that
she was ever had the feeling of Oh I got
the are you just worried about it or you see something.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Oh no, I'm just worried about it. I don't You're
You're not like that. Yeah, but she is the one
that people, even her older sister would lean on for
navigation logistics, Who has the tickets? What gator are we at?
You have always been that person who has all of
that together, and that is I do know that you're
You're very good with that. So I do appreciate that,
(20:53):
and that'll take you a long way when yeah, people
probably will be leaning on you.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
Yeah. And except for the time I lost I forgot
my passport at home and we had to drive all
the way back and I just switched our flights. Remember that, Oh.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
How could I forget? Yes? And yep, and you ended
up right next to the bathrooms at the back of
the plane.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
That was great. Yeah, the next day.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
My tip was I don't know if y'all did it
that morning, but my tip to folks who are flying internationally.
I have literally done this the night before. I will
take my physical passport and sit it at the front
door to where you care. It's impossible to forget it.
You can do anything as long as you have your passport.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
That's true, you need your passport and you need some
form of financial support. But I know that this has
been a really tough two years and you have come
a long way, and I've been so proud of you
and impressed by you and how you've handled all. You
have been by my side through the whole thing. Was
(21:59):
you see with me the last two years going through
a lot of this together. Ava was with us too,
but she was in her own place in MoU so
it was a little bit of a distance from some
of what we went through. Are there any lessons that
you learned that you will take with you to college
what you've experienced these past two years, because it's probably
much different than most people your age.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
I would definitely say not to dwell on the past.
That would be my big thing. Things happened for a
reason and might not be for a good reason, but
eventually it all works out. And I think that also
really applies to college. There's so many things that's going
to happen to me and I just kind of have
to keep going.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Yeah, you have to let go of control because you
never really had it anyway. Yeah, and then when you
learn that, you're like, Okay, now what do I do
with this? I have to I have to kind of surrender.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
Right myself and keep going.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
That's know who you are, and tomorrow's a new day,
exactly right.
Speaker 4 (23:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
I love the that's called resilience and that's and that's
I mean, those are hard lessons to learn, but they're
ones you'll never forget. Yeah, tell me about your classes. Well,
you said you got to pick your own classes. I
think I know what they are, but why don't you
tell us what the classes are?
Speaker 4 (23:17):
I have an intro to psych, which I've never done.
That's not my intended major either, but I think that
would be interesting. I have a business and Entrepreneurship class,
which I want a major in marketing, so that should help.
I have a writing seminar, an intermediate Spanish one, which
is like the second best Spanish class, which I'm quite
(23:38):
worried about. I hope that goes well. And I have
I don't know what my last one is.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I clearly forgot the spanh you're proficient? Is it fair
to say you're proficient in Spanish?
Speaker 4 (23:50):
I understand better than I can speak it?
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Is there any will you have the option? I don't
think I've asked you this. Do you have the option
to extend your studies in Spain?
Speaker 4 (24:00):
I could, yeah, but I don't want to ask.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
What happens over there?
Speaker 4 (24:08):
Yeah? What happens? It really stays over there.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Oh my goodness. And so we had we actually this
I think helped a lot. I was impressed because when
we went to college, unless you had a roommate or
someone who you were bringing with you, or you could
connect with from your high school going to college, which
is what I did, you kind of it was the
luck of the draw. Whatever roommate you got, you got.
(24:32):
But social media, as much as we liked bash it,
this has been really remarkable to see this process where
you get to meet all the kids and actually kind
of get to know each other online before you ever
decide who you're going to Spain with right or who
you're rooming with.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
It's it's very interesting. Almost every single person I know
who are going to all different schools have this like
group chat. Somehow everyone just finds each other. I got
added to it randomly. I don't know how it was made.
I don't know how you found each other or got
their snapchats. But there's a huge group chat. And then
you go out to dinner and like everyone meets each
other and there's really random just like thirty girls in
(25:08):
this group. It's it's so weird. I think it's really strange.
But I will say it has been my process easier.
I have a roommate, I have a few people I
know going in. I mean I haven't I've met her twice,
but I haven't met the other people yet. So but
I will say social media is it's it's great.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
That takes a lot of the stress away when you've ordered,
Like and we.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Would have stayed closer if I hadn't had that, because
I would have been nervous, worried. Really yeah, well, I.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Don't know, or you would have been sure that you
went somewhere where you knew was going, where your friend
was going. I mean, that's that's so much of it,
because it's all so new and different. So not to
have anyone you know, something that's very scary. So yeah,
we get to meet your roommate Jenna and her mom,
and that that every time you've met her twice now,
and that makes you feel a lot calmer and better. Like,
(25:56):
you know who I'm going with. You're actually going on
the same plane together, like plan that, and I'm not
going with you. I offered to what happened, But.
Speaker 4 (26:04):
No other moms are going. I don't think anyone's family
is going. It's because it's it's such a quick semester.
It's it's only three and a half months. It's very quick.
If it was a full year, yes, but for Boulder.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
For Boulder, I'll help move you in so and so
I'll go through the process again, all over.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Over again, and then next year you can do the
same thing.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Well I'll be good by then I will have gotten
used to it. But yeah, I think it'll be interesting
to kind of just say bye. And and that's a
weird thing seeing other people's parents pack up the door.
Even with Ava going to n y U, I still
drove a car over and helped her up in her
norm So to not help you set up your room
feels very very strange to me.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
We gotta do this twice. Yeah, but by the time
you get over the empty nest syndrome, once she's settled
in Spain and you're good and you find your joy
and your freedom, she's gonna come back Christmas baby really tight,
and then you gotta take her back out to yeah,
and then do the whole thing again.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
I do.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
I all know of that.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
That's tough and yeah, and I was also thinking, like
we've had to get all this stuff that you're gonna
be getting in Spain, Like what do you do? Just
like toss it.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
It's a whole new thing.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
I don't even know to drive it back Like great
for the next persons not have to buy all new
things to go to Boulder. But it's fine. It's a
five below.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
That's a thing there.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Five below that was your favorite favorite favorite store growing up.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
And I loved it too, because everything is five dollars.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
I take my sisters now for their birthday Christmas. I'm like, guys,
five below trip, let's go, and they're so excited.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Who else do you have? Isn't it more than don't
you have several people you know going to Bolder?
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Yeah they're not, I mean, not as close as I
am with Neve, But yeah, I do know quite a
few people. I'd say like ten, just from all parts
of life. Like those service trips. Were talking about three
of those people who I am that on one trip
in twenty twenty two are all going to Boulder. So random,
so weird, and I haven't talked to them in like
(28:11):
two years and they're going there.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
So wow. And again the power of social media that
you could stay connected and know that you all are
going to go there. Yeah, what are you most looking
forward to? Like when you get to Boulder? Hm?
Speaker 4 (28:27):
I really want to hike?
Speaker 2 (28:29):
That is so funny.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
Well yeah, and oh no, no, no, no skiing over hiking.
Hiking's more accessible for me. Skiing means like I have
to go and rent skis into the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
But it is funny. I mean, I will say this,
I'll brag on you a little bit because you were
just twelve years old when you summitted Killemanjarro and it
was remarkable because you were throwing up. I probably could
have gotten me. I don't know know. I was wondering
if I was the worst parent in the world or
this was a good motivating experience for you. But you
(29:02):
struggled and you did it anyway. And there were a
couple of times where you're like, and you've you've you
climbed Mount Baker, which is a glacier, You went up
the Roman Wall. You said you couldn't do it. The
guy who actually had summited ever said you're going up.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
Oh, he dragged me basically, but but you walked.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
It was your feet that got you up. And I
and I've seen you've done the You've done the Andes Mountains.
You got up to like fifteen thousand feet there. So
you and you hated it every step of the way,
and and you complained every step of the way, which
I understand. You were a kid. So it's so funny
the kid who I I did force you, I did
push you now says you like hiking. What what was
(29:41):
the change?
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Like?
Speaker 2 (29:42):
How did you go from hating it and not honestly
like hating me for it and saying, now I hate
hiking because you made me do it. What was the
change where suddenly you're like, I like this, Well, I
love it.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
I think I securely liked it all along. It's just
you want to hate things that your mom makes you do.
That's that's just a guarantee. I don't know. I I
being at the top is just that's an unmatched failing.
So I kind of just relished in that. We also
haven't hiked in a while, and so I do kind
of miss it because it really did take up a
(30:13):
lot of our time. Like we would go upstate and
we'd hike up, or we'd go up and down our
driveway what like.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
The entire day with fortys yes, and ever.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
We did that every single weekend.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
Because you had to train. There's no way you can
walk up.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
It's weird to not have that because it was so
it was a part of your life. It really was.
So I'm excited and also Colorado, like, you can't not
like hiking in those mountains. It's so pretty.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
What age were you carrying them the packs?
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Oh eleven, yeah, forty pound packs because to go up
Mount Baker, to go up a glacier like that, and
we were we actually camped on the glacier. Oh yeah, yes,
and we had crampons and anyway you have to carry.
Basically you have to carry possible you have to have
a pick axe. You have your crampons, but you also
have to have clothing for any possible weather. When you're
(31:06):
up that high on a mountain, when you're doing serious hiking,
you have to have rain, your warmth, you have to
be able to have layers. There's just a lot of
things you have to carry, and you're own water. We
actually drank the water from the glacier. But you know,
we had to carry MREs ready to eat meals. What
did I said? I don't know if I said that
meals ready to eat? Is that what it is? Yeah,
but yeah, there's a lot of things you have to carry. Now,
(31:28):
we did take some things out of your pack and
put it in ours to lighten your load, which I get.
And then the nice thing is the final stretch up
that Roman wall. Our guide let you leave the pack,
which is almost never allowed. But I don't yeah, at
the very end.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
Because it was really rough. It was rough.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
It was tough, but like you said, if you when
you get to the top, it's an unmatched feeling and
the only reason why it's an unmatched feeling is because
it was so hard. If it was easy. I remember
I told you guys this. I don't know if you
appreciated it, but I wanted you to feel what it
was like to get to the other side of pain.
To get on the other side of pain. That was
your favorite because it's a Umanism for life. If you
(32:07):
get through this really tough time, you don't think you
can do it. You actually want to quit a million times.
But when you keep pushing yourself and you get to
the other side of it, you're like it was You
always end up saying it was worth it.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
And now you're going to be hiking it. I'm so
excited to hear that that that is going to be
an awesome thing to see you hiking and skiing. And
I would say, my biggest advice to you is to
go to class. Don't skip class. Go to class. That's
the plan. It would be more than a plan, it's
(32:41):
my life.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
No I will, I promise.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
That's good. And what you say, you're getting a marketing degree,
But what is it that you are hoping that you
can do with your college degree?
Speaker 4 (32:51):
No idea? I got nothing honest answer that decision will
be made throughout time.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
That's very fair.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
I kind of want to be like Emily in Paris
if anyone's seen that.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Show one of your favorites. And how you mean you
want to live abroad and be in a marketing firm.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
Yeah, it doesn't have to be abroad. Maybe there's like
offices abroad and I can travel, but yeah, something like that.
I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
You get the reference to Emilion parents reference. I'm not
alone in the room?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Okay, season four just drop? Did you finish?
Speaker 4 (33:26):
It's only one part? One part?
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (33:29):
We were actually all at TJ's. Was that at TJ's birthday? Yeah,
the first night when Emily and Paris dropped.
Speaker 4 (33:35):
Oh, and then.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
I was like, I don't think we're gonna watch that
because half the room doesn't watch it, meaning TJ has
no idea what the show even is.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
I said, do your thing, say you could go ahead.
I just some four seasons behind.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Apparently if you watched the first episode you'd be like, nah,
you would not like it.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
Really now.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Italy thing something? And then what was the Rome and
the Under?
Speaker 4 (34:04):
The Under?
Speaker 2 (34:06):
When we were in Rome, we found a really cheesy
movie called Gelato that you know what. You know what
if you watched that and enjoyed it for whatever reason
you enjoyed it, then you would enjoy Emily and Pass.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
I love a good cheesy movie our TV show.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Can you explain why you like rom comms to tj M?
Speaker 4 (34:32):
I don't know. I just I love the false perception
of love. I think it's very unrealistic, but it's also
so fun to watch.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Do you think it gives and I'll just say, specifically
young women a false expectation. Isn't that damaging?
Speaker 4 (34:51):
It's so damaging. I mean, we grew up watching them,
you love them. We were even like the Barbie movies
and and their love interests. I'm like, what's happening? It's
not real, but that's my way to escape.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
I'm not convinced. I've been saying this to her a
lot recently. I'm not convinced you are her kid, because
you all are so different. Just y'all both watch rom coms,
but for different reasons. You you answered like dead pant,
Yeah it's it's it's a total load of crape, but
still it gives a false import.
Speaker 5 (35:22):
You're you all are so different, I swear, And what
did I tell you when you question whether or not
Analyst was actually mine from a DNA standpoint.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Wait, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
I told you that twenty three and meters has proved that,
in fact, is my child.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Even the fact that you have to turn to a d.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Well, I just be like that was irrefutable. I mean,
if you really had questions, I can promise you. I
can assure you she is my child.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
I think you and Ava are pas. They say, exactly
the same person.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
They grew up on the sandpod.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
But who do I get along with better on a
day to day basis you? Because when you're too much alike,
you butt heads and we compliment each other. So I
think it's it's extra sad because you've just been like
such an awesome I don't want to call you a
roommate because you're my daughter, but to live with just
just like what a unique experience. You can look at
the bad and the negative with divorce and upheople and
(36:18):
all of that. That's not anything I would ever suggest
or want for anyone or any family. However, we have
had the unique experience of being able to just be
the two of us, and we always had so many
people in our apartment and so many people different living
with different people living with us at different times. And
we've always had a lot of people. Even during the pandemic,
we had a commune. Basically we had friends living with us.
Speaker 4 (36:40):
It was like fifteen people up there.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
We did, and it was a bubble, but it was
like fifteen people and so we're used to having just
a loud crowd around.
Speaker 4 (36:50):
Us, and so it was. Yeah, it was a big
change though for just us too, it was. But I
think we did got into a groove. We did.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
Yeah, and we've I think we've only had like one
or two flare ups ever, like in eighteen years. And
that I'm just appreciative of your You have a very
calm and cool like you're the cool girl. Everybody wants
you to be their friend. It's like TJ's the cool guy,
everybody wants him to like them. You have that same quality. Me.
(37:21):
I'm like, please like me, please like me, which is annoying.
And I get that.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
So we get along, but we don't get it because
we're just sitting back mind in our own business in
the corner. Yeah, why are you all trying to pull
us into this? We are absolutely and I that's the
thing about Anily. There have been times we have a
room full of people and I don't understand anything they're
talking about, and I think it's ridiculous and silly, and
everybody's into it. And then I finally cut my ales
(37:45):
off an Anily. She's got the same look on her
phrase as I do. I say, Okay, I found my tribe.
Speaker 4 (37:51):
That shouldn't be my whole life. It's like Ava and
Mom talking and I'm like, just there, absolutely silent.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
It's hard to get a word in. Edge Wise, I
will say yeah, and then add my mom, no, needn't miss.
Speaker 4 (38:05):
Oh yeah, I'm we'll never speak again.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
You and Pop my dad will just be like, I'll
take it in, observe, listen, and probably be the wiser
for it, because the less you talk, the more you learn.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
How often did you Analyst feel like it was funny
at times but that you all were roommates, certainly more
so in recent months as you got more freedom, and yeah, graduate, yeah,
but it was It's funny that I absolutely see you
all texting or talk and say, hey, what are you
doing tonight? What are you doing? Can I have the apartment? Well,
we want the apartment? Like you do talk like we do.
Speaker 4 (38:45):
Yeah, that's only been in recent months. Yes, I definitely
think in the beginning it was what was I like sixteen, Yeah,
I obviously had the trick curfew. It wasn't as much
as like, yes, I raised you like I'm going wherever
I want.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
I raised you very strictly, yes, New York extity.
Speaker 4 (39:00):
And that now it's I mean, what's the point I'm
living anyway, So it's kind of just I'm.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
A big believer. This past year it's I've I made
a conscious effort to loosen the rope and to let
you have more freedom, just because when it happens drastically
and everyone has their own way of parenting, but when
you go from being strict and curfuse and you know,
do this, don't do this, and if you do this,
(39:25):
you're gonna be punished and there's gonna be consequences. I
absolutely raised you like that up until this last.
Speaker 4 (39:32):
Year, and then I thought, which I think is totally fair.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
I just wanted it to be a little bit more
of a transition and less of a jarring, completely opposite experience, right,
And it's been fun because A I trust you, You've
I don't I don't think you've you're not somebody who
was sneaking around or yeah, so I've just I felt
more comfortable doing that.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
You come back some nights, Oh.
Speaker 4 (40:02):
That was this year.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
Well, the first time you had no curfew was your
prom I said.
Speaker 4 (40:08):
Oh, yes, I didn't even stay at that late that night,
and you didn't.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
But I told you you didn't have a curfew. You
were like home at a fairly decent hour. I was like,
that's funny. It's not how it always works.
Speaker 4 (40:16):
It's hilarious.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
It's more fun when you can sneeze, right. But no,
it's been it's been a really it's been a really
good year. And I've been, like I said, so impressed
with how you've handled everything. I mean, paparazzi. You you
actually even handled all that so while that that upset
me more than anything that you know, he was at
the time, you were under eighteen and your picture was
(40:39):
being taken without you wanting it to and and you
handled that with grace, because yeah, what.
Speaker 4 (40:45):
Did you say?
Speaker 2 (40:45):
One time You're like, ooh, they got me good.
Speaker 4 (40:47):
Well, we were in a fight. Do you remember that?
We were bickering home from the gym. I was, I
was so mad and you were so mad at me,
and there there's a picture. I'm like, I have this
disgusted look on my face and you look like there's
steam coming out of you. And they got us right,
we were doing that.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
It was just either you said something or did something
else like that is inappropriate analyst. So I was giving
you a stern talking to.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
The headline to try to make.
Speaker 4 (41:13):
Fun of the fact that, No, I don't think they
caught on that we were fighting, but we knew we were.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
And yes, and you're like, they got me good.
Speaker 4 (41:23):
They've gotten this. They've gotten me good a few times.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
And then you've taken pictures and made fun of me,
like the one on the city bike. We ended up
trying to treat a lot of this to.
Speaker 4 (41:31):
Make light of the situation. It's very strange, and we've tried.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
To treat a lot of this with humor and humility.
And I think you know, as hard as it's been, like,
those are lessons you will take with you when things
get tough. Sometimes humor is the only thing that gets
you through.
Speaker 4 (41:45):
We love dark humor.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
You're great at dark himmer.
Speaker 4 (41:47):
Yeah, it's my forte.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
So does this one over here? Another thing you have
in common that that dark humor, that what did I say, devilish,
devilish la something like, ye, do you have the same thing.
Speaker 4 (42:02):
It's my favorite thing to do. It always makes people laugh,
and I love making people laugh. That's the goal.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
From the time you were a little like you were
a one year old little bobblehead, could barely walk. You
were making us laugh that but that's you have always
been the comedic relief in the family, which has been
which has been fine.
Speaker 4 (42:20):
I actually just got a fortune cookie and my fortune
was like you make the room like happy with your
comedy or something.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
And that has absolutely been the truth. Ava likes to
tell you all the time that you were an accident, yes,
or a mistake.
Speaker 4 (42:35):
She goes, a mistake is her favorite thing.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
I think it's a mistake. You weren't planned, is the point.
But it's I and I said, yeah, but she knows this,
this this is fully discussed. But I was one and done.
But you know what I said, you were like the
greatest joy that I ever ever got. That I wasn't
(42:59):
choosing or that I I didn't think I wanted, Like
you were something that came into my life that was
just turned into the most beautiful thing. Have you ever
had something where you didn't intend to have it or
you didn't want it necessarily and then you got it
and you're like, this is the best thing that ever happened. Yes, okay,
that's how Annie was this sweet little thing and I
(43:22):
called her my beanbag you and I think this is
what makes me cry, because you never wanted to leave
my side when you were little, and Aba was the opposite. Hilariously,
she was always running away and saying see you later, bye.
And and now you kind of have done a reversal,
weave my side and you're like, see I you. You
(43:45):
declared early on, maybe even middle school, I am not
going to college in New York.
Speaker 4 (43:49):
You knew. I knew. Yeah that was not because I've
lived here. I don't know. I just I couldn't. I
couldn't keep doing it.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Well.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
I love that you're sprouting your wings, and I will
be okay. I will be okay, And I never want
you to worry about that or make a decision based
on that, because I love seeing you do your thing,
and I love that you're different than me, and I
love that you're different than your sister. I love that
you have your own way of operating and going through life.
(44:17):
It's fun to watch you and I can't wait to
see what you do next.
Speaker 4 (44:21):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
Is there anything rooms you're looking forward to?
Speaker 3 (44:24):
Like?
Speaker 1 (44:24):
Is there anything? Not as a joke here, but a
lot of parents who do their kids. There was even
this thing? Was it emptiness? Divorce? Right? Once you have
time to now focus on each other, you realize, oh,
we don't like each other. Yep, there's a thing, But
a lot of folks start to re discover themselves and
start doing. But is there anything you are looking forward
(44:45):
to possible?
Speaker 2 (44:45):
Well? There? The thing is, there's been so much change,
and my focus and your focus has been on making
sure our kids are okay. Now that I've got the
two girls like out in the world living their lives,
and I don't know how much much you know, I've
focused on me or on me and on us. Of
course there's been an element to that, but it's always
(45:07):
been in the background of them. And so they say
to your point that either a lot of times what
happens in a marriage or any relationship is either when
you have that now quality time where you're not distracted
with kids, you either find this new bond and you
grow closer and you have this like I think that
happened for my parents big time, like significantly, which was
(45:30):
cool to see. But or you realize that you don't
need to be together and you need to find something
else or someone else, So it's a time to really
re evaluate everything.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
So, wow, this is gonna be the no.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
But you know, you know what's interesting too, is like
getting in a relationship later in life when you already
have kids. You never got that honeymoon period where you
just got to be the two of you, right, And
I know we have Sabine, but the thing is you
are always focused the kids. You're always a major part
of any relationship you have. So this will be kind
of the first time where I can focus lucky you
(46:10):
on you and us in a way that how's that
going to go?
Speaker 4 (46:14):
I haven't been able to do before, Scared.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
It'll be too much.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Well, it's true. Every single morning, I think you know this,
at least we our day is structured. We can't do
anything until we hear from you and Toby about what
the day and then we fill it in around you guys.
So to think now we only have the being schedule, yeah,
right to consider and we usually can't fill out our
schedule at least until later because.
Speaker 4 (46:40):
I never wake up my mind, and you don't wake
up till eleven.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
Yes, you don't wake up until eleven o'clock.
Speaker 4 (46:47):
No, I wake up that like ted, That is a
normal time to wake up. But you guys are just crazy.
Speaker 1 (46:51):
But you don't come out and say hello until eleven.
Speaker 4 (46:54):
Yeah, I have to I have to process be waking up.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
That is where different significant.
Speaker 4 (47:01):
Maybe when I'm older, I could see myself being an earlier.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
But you know, but how how much have I annoyed
you in the last and a half every day asking
you what are you doing?
Speaker 4 (47:11):
And you're like, You've never acted like this. You've never
like said that before, because there's always like, oh, you
went to work, I went to school. We kind of
like met at home, you know.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
But now I have a lot more time, and I'm
trying to incorporate you, and I know you're leaving soon,
so I was trying to incorporate you in as much
as possible and you were like, now you're suffocating.
Speaker 4 (47:28):
Yeah, I'm like, mom, I've never had someone care this
much about my schedule.
Speaker 2 (47:33):
Can you please go back to what you used to
do in the morning and I didn't have to see you.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
I could go to work many times that I say, heye,
just give her a beat. Don't worry about it because
she's stressing you out about your schedule, because she's trying
to make some plan. Think I don't know.
Speaker 4 (47:48):
I let it go. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (47:50):
What are we going to do now? There's no wow.
Speaker 4 (47:54):
I there will be a.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
Transition, and I think we will all find some freedom
that we didn't have before, and we can still have
a beautiful, loving relationship. But it's just gonna it's gonna
change a little bit, and it's been changing this past year. Yeah,
you shift. I'll always be your mom, but I get
to be a little bit more of your friend now,
and that's kind of fun. I can I can take
(48:22):
my hands off the wheel a little bit, and I
you know, little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems.
I always wanted to do the hard work early, not
that you weren't going to make mistakes. I hope you
make plenty of them. I just hope you make them safely,
but that's how you learn. But I do feel like
it's nice to know that I put in the work early,
and now you get to lead the way and make
(48:44):
your own path. And I feel good about it.
Speaker 4 (48:46):
I feel good about it, definitely.
Speaker 2 (48:49):
Well, I can't wait. I can't wait to watch you fly.
Speaker 4 (48:52):
Oh wait.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
I had these cute little quotes I wanted to leave
anyone who's going through this. Sometimes I like quotes, tej.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
You like quotes. I was bracing for it.
Speaker 4 (49:01):
I oh no.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
So these were the two quotes I really liked, and
I wanted to share these with any other parent out
there who's going through this. These these made me. The
first one's from the Dali Lama give the ones you love,
wings to fly, roots to come back, and reasons to stay.
I thought that was very sweet.
Speaker 4 (49:20):
Preach.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Yeah, I'm gonna get that tattooed on me.
Speaker 2 (49:24):
I love that I had that impact on you or
the doll. I would you say in your handwriting, Oh wow,
that's not cheesy. This one, however, has some humor to it,
and this made me laugh. And I think sometimes, as
we talked about, that's what we need in these moments
when we're a little sad. However painful, the process of
leaving home for parents and for children, the really frightening
(49:46):
thing for both would be the prospect of the child
never leaving home.
Speaker 4 (49:52):
It was kind of fun.
Speaker 2 (49:53):
This is what is supposed to happen for all parties involved.
And I remember when I first held you. You, I
told myself, my job is to make sure this little
girl can live on her own and be happy with
herself and move on from you know, from being under
my under my wing. That my job is to make
(50:14):
her independent of me and to be successfully independent and happy.
And so I remember reminding myself of that along the way,
that that was my number one job to guide you
to be your own person.
Speaker 4 (50:26):
Think about how annoyed you would be if I stayed
at home entire life.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
You know, if you stayed for the next couple of years.
I don't think she'd be upset. I think she'd be
excited about that. I think you would.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
Yeah, well, I still have a winter break and summer break.
Although wat she'll start becoming like an instructor and staying
there and everything. I could see you doing all sorts
of stuff, But it's your life to live, and I'll
be okay, and I can't. I'll be your cheerleader, cheerleader
back home no matter what. I love you, I love you.
Speaker 1 (51:02):
I love you guys too. All folks. We appreciate you
all listening as always. Folks, if you're out there, if
you're about to send your kid off, you're going to
be okay. The three steps they say of this, what
is it the empty nest syndrome. It's grief, relief, and
then joy. It's coming. Everybody's going to be fine. It's
(51:25):
tougher on some than others, but a lot of folks
go through and they make it through, are just fine,
and some come out really well on the other side.
So es, you're going to be okay. I'll be here
with you through this one and then the next time
we have to do it with their in December, right oday,
I'll be here with you. Now, let's go get that
contractor and start working on her room.
Hosts And Creators
Amy Robach
T.J. Holmes
Popular Podcasts
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.
Crime Junkie
If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people.