I Was Miserable On Father's Day, Until...

For Shop Talk, Coach Bill shares his deeply personal experience with Father's Day. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Everybody's still Courtney with an army of normal folks. Shop
Talk number fifty six. That's a big one. That was aggressive.
It was an aggressive one. I'm glad you're still alive.
I got a question, your teeth feel still feel good?
Because I mean you went to the dust last week. Well,
we're recording this at the same time we recorded last week,

(00:25):
so you're a trying to be cute about it. Not
the time stamp and there you are a producer stamp
timing guy. All right, guys, Shop Talk number fifty six
is on something that is a one time it had
been a quandary for me, and at other times it
was just great. Now it's great, and it's basically called

(00:52):
I was miserable on Father's Day until I'll set it
up for you right after these brief messages from our
general sponsors, everybody, welcome back shop Talk number fifty six.

(01:17):
June fifteenth is Father's Day, and I have a special
Father's Day message that we've featured on our YouTube channel,
which you need to go check out our YouTube channel
and subscribe to it. But I'll just set it up
for you real quick. Basically, Father's Day, given the way

(01:38):
I grew up. It's all on the video. I know
the Father's Day, given the way I grew up against
the winds of being a father of four children, and
my struggle with the beauty of what I have now
versus some of the dysfunction I dealt with as a kid,
has always been a quandary in my life. And in

(02:00):
honor of all of you who have fathers, our fathers,
celebrate a father, love a father, or even wish they
had a dad and missed their father, this clip and
this shop Talk number fifty six is for you. My

(02:25):
dad left home when I was four, and we really
didn't have much of a relationship. He actually passed not
too long ago, and it was my stepbrother that actually
told me, and I had nothing to do with it.
We had no relationship, and there were a lot of

(02:52):
there are a lot of My mother was very well intentioned,
and I don't want to make it sound like she's evil,
but there were a lot of guys after that that
came into my life, and there are a lot of
guys that left, and so as a result, Father's Day

(03:17):
has always been a really kind of sore spot for me.
I didn't even recognize it, but in my early forties,
Lisa pointed out to me, more than pointed out, very frustratingly, said,
you know, quit being an a soul on Father's Day.

(03:37):
It's not about you anymore. You have your own children
and now you are a father. So I know. You
can't celebrate Father's Day from a standpoint of celebrating a father,
but you can you can celebrate Father's Day from the
standpoint of being a father. And I didn't even recognize
that I got miserable on Father's Day, but I but
I did. And and the truth is, you know, I identified

(04:01):
as a kid. Now I identify with the kids of
a nassis a lot more closely than I identified with
my own children. In terms of my reality, I understand
growing up without a father. I understand the kind of
hopelessness and sadnessness that accompanies not having a father in

(04:23):
your life and all that that entails. And I understand
the sadness, and I understand that when you're a fourteen
fifteen year old, strapping guy and you look at the
mirror and your father has no interest in you. I
understand look in the mirror and thinking something must be

(04:44):
wrong with me. You know, why is it that I
lack such value that my own father doesn't even want
to spend time with me, especially on Father's Day. And
I thought that for many years, and I know many
of the kids have played football for me. I an
Asses fought that for many years. And so on the

(05:07):
one hand, you see a grown man with a business
and some success and been married to his wife for
thirty years, and these beautiful four children who've grown up
well adjusted and happy and healthy, and you think, oh, well,
I know what that guy's life looks like. But the
truth is, you don't have no idea the trauma that

(05:30):
preceded the life that I have now. And as a
result of that, people have always asked me, how do
you think you connected so well with the kids of
an Asses, being this white business guy. And the truth is,
I don't identify as a white business guy, identify as
a kid that came from him a lot of trauma.

(05:51):
And so the truth is not really understand them more
and their reality more than I understand my own kids
reality because I didn't grow up like my kids did,
so it took a lot of work to get to
a place that Father's Day is a happy day around
my house. But Lisa Whipmack's into shape like she normally does.

(06:15):
And now we have good Father's Days, but it took
a long time to get there. So that's shop talk
number fifty six. I hope Father's Day is as meaningful
to all of you as it is to me, and
I hope you'll think about the power that fathers can

(06:39):
and should have been in their children's lives. That's shop
talk number fifty six. Hey, and you're close to becoming
a grandpa. Maybe next year do you think will be?
I mean, ain't nobody pregnant yet? Yeah? But by next
Father's Day, do you think anybody's gonna be pregnant? Maybe,
But then we'll be talking about grandparents Day. Yeah. I
guess that's hoptoten hum fifty six. We'll talk to you

(07:02):
next week. H