November 11, 2025 • 41 mins
Transracial adoption is a term that we didn’t know, until we met the Taylors. The black couple adopted 2 white kids and 1 black kid. And we have a fascinating conversation about love, hate, stereotypes, and redemption!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Everybody. It's Bill Courtney with an army of normal folks.
And we continue now with part two of our conversation
with Meek and Tracy Taylor, right after these brief messages
from our general sponsors. So occasionally, not slavery, I'm not
(00:33):
suggesting anything about what I'm about to say, but occasionally,
going back to the fifties, sixties, seventies, occasionally there really
were places that these domestics and the families became very,
very very close and it was a real good relationship. Yeah.
The vast majority of it, though, was work. Yes, that's it.
(00:55):
It was work. Okay. So, with that mentality that is
baked in to our Southern beings, on both the black
and the white side, racism and prejudiced oftentimes takes more
than one generation to break, because even when somebody feels it,
(01:19):
it is so baked into them generationally and culturally that
it's hard to break. And that's on both sides, I believe.
Oh yeah, so baked into our cultural experiences, all of
this history. How does David No, Okay, So we're going
(01:42):
to go to twenty fifteen. So with all of that,
what is it like as two black parents of an
adoptive white child in twenty fifteen to roll up into
home depot or Walmart.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Hadn't been in our home, not even David. He hadn't
been in our home a couple of hours. He just
come into our home.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
I needed diapers and I needed milk. My husband was
still at work, so I packed him up. We went
to Kroger, local Kroger and shopping in a produce section
in this little old white gentleman has been in this
late seventies, early eighties. You must have paid a pretty
penny for him, is what he said to me. Yeah,
(02:30):
And it took everything in me not to rise up
in that moment. It could be a teachable moment, or
it could be a moment where I completely go off
the well. You know, but I did.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I mean, I got to believe you got some angry
black woman in the years.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I do. I do.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
But at the moment, I didn't have enough Baill money,
I'll put it that way. You know, I didn't want
to be.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
On some of the stuff you said that prep was
really funny. I was waiting for your sense of humor.
There it comes right.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
He didn't want to be on the local news as
the gree black woman. But you know, I built this
whole persona. I built this whole personality and I want
to stay in that in that place, so I chose
just to walk away. And sometimes in life you have
to walk away from people.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
And what did you even respond?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I did not, because you're not worth mine.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Did you shake your head?
Speaker 4 (03:15):
I did?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
I did? I did.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
You're eighty, You're stuck in your waist. I don't have
time to try to teach you right now in this moment.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I have my child.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Why did he mean it? And I mean this. You
don't know me well enough to understand my whole perspective
on this, but try to trust me. When I asked
this question, did he mean it derogatorily or was he
(03:47):
just ignorant?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I think he was ignorant.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
There's a difference, and that's why I said, if it
were a teachable moment.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
But being new to this fresh I hadn't been a
trans transfercial.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Adopted parents, and I'm very young at this time, so
I think it's best, like I said, just to walk away.
You know, from some situations, if I feel like I
can teach you about who we are, our family are dynamics,
then I will you know this ten years later. I'll
take the time.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
But I thought it was just best just to walk away.
I don't have to educate everybody. It's not my job.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
I would have expected more of instead of I bet
you paid a pretty penny for it. My expectation would
have been, whose family are you sitting for? Well, we
got a little bit of that lot.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I mean, how much time do we have. I mean,
I'm sitting at home. This is probably four years ago
when we moved into our.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
House, just four years ago.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Yeah, moved into our home, build our home, a beautiful neighborhood,
predominantly white neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
And this guy is there to fix our French doors.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
And David and Dylan, my youngest, are running around and
he looks at me and he says, are you babysitting?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Mm hmm, yeah, no.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
These are my children.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
This is my house, my house, and you can now
you're working for me.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Now because I no longer need your services, We'll find
someone else to do it.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Yeah. So, and this is just a few again ignorance
or or derogatory both, because the ignorance is derogatory both.
So we're going to get to Dylan in just a
moment for everybody listening. Why am I going into this?
(05:44):
I really try not to sensationalize things like this. It's
not the purpose of our show. These are two people.
Let me tell you a story. I'm going to tell
you a story about high school sweethearts that everybody listening
(06:06):
to me close their eyes, really, just close their eyes,
and let me tell you a story. It's a story
of two high school sweethearts who meet in college, who
get married and wait to have a child until they're
married to do it the right way because of both
their faith and because of their belief in the social
construct of a family. And they do that, and they
(06:28):
raise their child, and later on in life can't have
any more children. And as they grow in their professional careers,
earn money, pay their bills on time, and do their
right things. They build a home, and because they can't
have children, they adopt a beautiful baby boy named David
with brown hair and blue eyes, move into their new
home and start this beautiful family. The greatest Norman Walk
(06:53):
well all American dream and they're black. And the last
three words is what makes you open your eyes? We
have got to come to a place that the end
they're black doesn't have to be said or even matter.
(07:17):
But unfortunately in twenty twenty five, that is the part
that still makes us open our eyes. Yeah, and why
does that matter is because it's is army and normal folks.
And we talk about how our world changes when normal people,
who are unremarkable and just average folks like the rest
(07:39):
of us, see areas of need and fill them for
the betterment of their community in people's lives. And if
we had millions of people across the country doing that,
our culture and our society change and we can fix
so much of what else is Well, guess what normal
people are Black? Normal people are Asian, normal people are Hispanic.
(08:00):
Normal people look like all kinds of manners of folks.
And candidly, what is the world normal? It's your own
normal and so and army and normal folks. It's about
an entire community of Americans coming together and serving one
another for the betterment of society. And we should not
have to pause when those are black families helping white kids,
(08:22):
because we have gone so accustomed to the social construct
that it's white people helping the poor black folks. Yeah,
and until we break that, we will never be full, right,
That's why I think your story is so important because
you guys and Peter teach us a very valuable lesson. Yeah, yeah,
(08:49):
I think I think the problem is that, you know,
we have to.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
Reassess what normal is like, especially in America, like we
you know, what we knew or believed to be normal,
It's not always normal everywhere that you go. You know,
in every situation, and this is one of those situations,
you know that what you would think to be a
(09:18):
certain way is definitely not that way. And so I
think I think America as a whole, and it could
go broader than America, but this is where we live.
I think we got to get a better understanding that
it's not just about how you think, you know, it's
not about how you would talk.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
You know, you have to look at the world. It's
a different reality now.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
You know a lot of things that like you were
talking about, that were going on back in the days
of slavery, you know, or even after slavery, those things,
though there may be some of course we talk about racism,
racism and things like that still exists. But what we
came from or where we came from when it comes
to uh, those days they're much different now, Opportunities are
(10:04):
different now, you know, families are structured differently, you know,
the the the chances.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Uh. We talked about kids.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
In foster care and how there are more you know,
where it was once believed by many of us, uh,
that there were that there were that there were more
black kids in the system than white kids. Well, that's
that's what that's what was believed to be normal. Well
what is reality, you know, because what often is normal
to us is not always reality, you know, And so
(10:34):
now we have a new reality on.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Okay, so this is possible or this is something that's
going on.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
You know, Uh, in the world, there are people out
there that are black, There are people out there that
are Asian. There are people out there that are Hispanic
that are adopting kids that are white as well as
there are white people that are adopting black kids. Why
can't it just be a world where it's just normal
to love some one opposed to being a world where okay,
(11:03):
it's normal to love this particular or this group should
be with this group, but that group should.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Be with that group. Man, I love it. I embrace
when I see a look.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
On an individual's face, when my son run up to
me and say, Dad, I embraced it. I embrace that conversation,
you know, I embraced that that Look, it doesn't anger
me at all.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
It really is a chance to teach. It's an opportunity
to minister.
Speaker 4 (11:35):
It's an opportunity to minister and giving people knowledge about
a situation. That's what ministry is, you know, bringing the truth,
you know in a situation, that's what ministry is. And
so I embrace those opportunities.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
I love it. I coach coach.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Baseball basketball at a local church in the area, predominantly
white church. That's only because the only reason we did
it is because my kids go to this particular school
that's in this area, and so the opportunity was there
for them to play sports at this particular church. We
always want things that they do to be faith based,
(12:13):
so they're always getting Christ in the midst of whatever
it is that they're doing.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
I get an opportunity to coach and coach one of
my son's team, and people are out there that are
trying to figure out, well, who's whose child?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
You know, where's this child?
Speaker 4 (12:30):
You know?
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Yeah? Yeah, but it doesn't bother me one bit.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
You know, they try to figure out and then my
son will going to tell you, Dad, Dad, you know,
and the look on their faces, you know, it's just
like you know.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
But it's no big deal to me. But I like
to think. I really like to think that I have
cleansed myself. We all. I cannot stand the phrase I
don't see color. I think that's a big horse crown.
How could you not.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Your nails on the chalk board?
Speaker 1 (13:03):
I mean, you feel the same way. It's the stupidest phrase.
I get the well intentioned meaning behind it, but it's
still so elementary stupid. Exactly, you see color, yes, yes, okay,
it's your reaction to seeing color and how you handle
(13:24):
it the matters. If I were at a baseball game
and I saw a little white kid with blue eyes
and chunky cheeks, I think it is a brown hair,
run up to your very proud black self and hug
you and say, dad, there's no way I wouldn't go right.
But what do I think do and react after that? Yes?
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Exactly I can't.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
And honesty say I wouldn't see that. I would see
it exactly, But they ain't nothing wrong with seeing it.
In fact, maybe there's some growth and seeing that exactly.
It's what you do after the exactly that matters. So
everybody listened to us. Don't think that recognizing the differences
(14:12):
is sinful or wrong or bad. It's not. It's human nature.
We're gonna do it. But what do you do once
you recognize the difference? Exactly. We'll be right back, Pek.
Speaker 5 (14:40):
You actually had a post, I think on Instagram recently
the soccer game.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
We were at Dylan's football game one evening.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
We got to get to Dylan. But yes, we're going
to get to.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
Dylan's football game one evening. And I'm sitting there and
I can overhear two ladies that were talking about Dylan.
He just made a play and they were talking about
his play. And another parent tells another one tap on
the shoulder and said, don't say anything else about her,
don't say anything about that's her kid. And they went
on and on in this conversation talking about my family,
(15:13):
my child. I'm literally sitting right here. If you have
questions as.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Her response with him, that's interesting, that's very interesting.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
And they proceeded to engage in this whole conversation and
I'm literally sitting two feet away.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
From white whispers they were white. Of course, just tap
me on the show.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
We'll hold it, say, of course, because that's where I
got to believe.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
There's some black parents that are also going.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I get it from both, but in this particular setting,
we're the only.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
There.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Basically there are a few other but we get it
from both sides. We get the negativity from both sides.
But I'm thinking we're sitting right here, just tap, just
tap me on the shoulders. Instead of making your own judgments,
instead of creating your own story about us, let me
tell you.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I can tell you a lot better. I've lived in Yeah, it's.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Is rude them, that's ridiculous. So okay, So David was
so easy and decided to do it again a little pious.
That's another story too, you know. So tell me about Dylan.
How Dylan show up and when and how? And it's
dyaling white or black as we don't even know.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
But there's a child in between. That's Dwayne. African Americans.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Catch me up, all right? So the biological child. She
didn't come out white, did she, because that'd be weird,
I would wonder, So Taylor, Taylor.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
Then there's then David, and then we get a phone
call for a six year old little African American boy
named Dwayne.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Dwayne, Yeah, and its six years old. That's a whole
different dynamic than very diffic six.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
But he came in and we thought we were done
with him. You know, we told our caseworker, we're done,
we don't we don't want any more kids.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
And again his rights were giving up, fostered rights given.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
H Mom and dad signed over their rights. They were terminated.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
And we want to I want to interject a little
bit on Dwayne. Yes, we have to.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
There was quite a difference in the cases. In the
cases between David and Dwayne.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Background, well, even in the background, it was the process
of adopting.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
The process of adopting. It was easier because he was black.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
It was a fast I call it the fast food
it was.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
They were pushing.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
It was so cool, opposed to where with David it
was delayed, delayed delay.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Uh, even though it was because it was we we
we we friends racial adoptions. I'm using we are purman.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
We are very certain that it had a lot to
do with no Stone went we came to looking for
a relative for David.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Oh, they kept yes, and then we say no, stone,
don't turn not really looking at your lives.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
No looking for any family.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
You're looking for anybody might take this kid, Let's send
them anywhere. But here, you know, it's what we felt like.
You know, well, why wouldn't you feel that one? Yeah,
I feel that one. Yeah, And it was And does
that happen with white families for black kids?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I'm not a white family.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
We're friends that we do.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
We do.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Yeah. And we had a friend that adopted a black child.
Well did they go looking for a black family? Especially difficulty.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
There's always the process where you have to look for
a family member. You have to it's posted in the newspaper,
it's put it online.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
You're looking for a relative.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
But there's also a timeline within thirty days, I believe.
Then it was within thirty days they have to come forward,
and it was thirty days, and then it was sixty days,
and it was ninety days, and they kept waiting.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
The status of the parents never changed.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
Yeah, And it was just like, but when we got
Dwayne six months, it was like, are you all ready
to adopt?
Speaker 2 (19:24):
You know?
Speaker 1 (19:24):
It was it was it was let's go, yeah, you know,
And so.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
We felt a certain way about that. You know and
as a matter of natural, as a matter of fact,
was it?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
What was it? We adopted Dwayne?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Yeah, Wayne's adoption came first.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Dwayne showed up. That's how exactly exactly we wound up
adopting him first. Okay, so now you've got David Dwayne,
and you figure we're done. Five's good, We're done.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
And then David's biological mother, she was pregnant with an
the child we didn't know, come.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Out David and Dylan are you I never got that
and maybe you told me I didn't realize for real siblings. Yes,
if the mics went on, I would say this fight
a woman at David and gave David up. Yes, yes,
(20:24):
and then has another child five or six years later. Yes,
happens all the time.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Yes, well it was five was five six years later? Okay,
I'm sorry to the timelines off a little bit, but.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Yeah, he had been placed in a foster home. The
last names were different, so they didn't make the connection
that the boys were siblings. So he had been placed
in a foster home. And when they made the connection,
they gave us the call and ax, did we want
to take him in as well?
Speaker 1 (20:53):
You see also blue eyed and brown haired.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
No, he was.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
He's a little strawberry blonde kid. Oh man, you yeah,
it changed, it's been changing.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
But it must look likeas at your dinner table.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
It's very different, all right.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
So you bring him in as foster.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
We bring him in as our foster.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
But now that David is his biological sibling, that one's
got to be a little easier. On the adoption side,
it was a little east.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
It's a little easier because mom now had a pattern
and the courts were like, okay, let's just go ahead and.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
See what's going on here. Yeah, and when did you
adopt Dylan three years ago?
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Yeah, three years ago. Finalize his adoption as well.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
So now you have Taylor is twenty seven, twenty seven.
Then actually Dwayne is fourteen, David.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Is, Dylan is villain?
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Is ye house fool one, big happy, big crazy crazy Yes?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
I got pulled over.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
I was taking the boys to school and going a
little bit over the speed limit in the school and
a police officer pulled me over and he said, oh,
you are carpooling, huh with all these kids back here,
And it's like, no, that one and that one, that one,
they're all mine, you know, but carpool house.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Full we had four and four years. Thank you. That's
a better reaction. My wife, Oh gosh, my beautiful wife.
So she was twenty six and had a three year
old or two year old and one.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Year old, pregnant, bless her and pregnant.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Imagine look she got in Walmart. Now they were all
the same color, but it was still like, I can't
tell you how many times you get askedtart these all
your ship. Yeah. The joke I get is you know
how this works, right, Yeah, you know, a hospital bed fetish.
We won't get So has the reaction to your family changed. No,
(23:05):
as recently as.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
As recently as what.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Last well the last video that I posted with the
football game, But before that I had someone say, oh,
I didn't realize that your husband wasn't white. I thought
your husband was white because David is white, and because
you're no, we're transracial adoptive family.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
My husband is we're both black. Yeah, that's time we checked.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Yeah. It just goes back to what we believe is normal,
you know.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
And and I think once we get away from assuming,
you know, what we think is normal or like what
our mind tells us, you know what normally is I
think we would be a lot better off.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
You know, ask the question. I have a question, go
ahead that wasn't in the problem that I can't I
can't help, but ask. And I think it comes from,
you know, in second grade having one dad, and fourth
grade having another dad, and the sixth grade having another dad.
(24:11):
I remember to stinkly some of the questions I got
coming up as a child, and they affected me because
the questions themselves said a lot about my world. How
about the kids they have to get questions too, and
how do they handle it?
Speaker 2 (24:30):
We prepared our children.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
We prepared them, and luckily I work in the school
and know most of the staff know the kids because
the staff kids. But we prepared them, and I think
they handle it really well. Kids today, most of the
time it's oh, that's Dylan's mom, Oh that's David's mom.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Don't kids kids haven't grown up with their social so
it's different for the it's different for the kids, which
is hopeful, Yeah, it is. It's hopeful.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
Now I've had I've had a different experience with with
with some of the kids, but their kids, so I understand.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Uh yeah, because they might just say something really exactly.
I mean, thinking about it is very direct, you know.
And so I think we were at the zoo.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
I went to the zoo with dealing with his class,
and one of his friends, uh walked up to me
and said, Dylan, Dylan is just your dad, and Uh,
Dylan was like, yeah, how's your dad brown?
Speaker 3 (25:37):
And your.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Question a question, that's a fair question, right right, right.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
So so I've gotten that a lot, you know, with
the kids, But for me, it's it's hilarious to me,
you know.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
So from the kids that is actually almost endearing. Yeah
to me, I love it.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
It's hilarious to me from the parents as well, you know,
from the from the older people, not just being but
the older people, but not endearing, you know what.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Again, you know, I like to embrace opportunities.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
I don't have a problem with a conversation, you know,
because I feel like some conversations need to be had,
because if you're.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
God is love and we.
Speaker 4 (26:20):
Can't keep love in a box. We can't keep God
in a box. And I think sometimes that's what we do.
We keep them in our little boxes. We think that hey,
once we can't go outside of this little square, you know,
because if we go outside this little square, things start
to give a little cloudy, you know. So I want
people to stop putting love in a box. You know
(26:42):
that you can love anybody in any position that you're in.
Rather that be a parent, rather that be a guardian,
Rather it be adoptive, rather it be biological.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Just love people, you know, Just love people and allow.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
The opportunity for someone to love someone that looks like you,
even if they even if the person is doing the loving,
don't look like you. Just allow them to do that,
you know, I don't think that's hard to do.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
We'll be right back. I think it's only fair. We're
not going to end on this, but we're at the
(27:34):
tail end of it. We're gonna end on something really cool.
But how does it come from black folks to you?
Because that's from a whole different place that their questions
come from. Well, and it's only fair to ask that question. Yes,
absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
I'll put it like this.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
We have had, or I mentioned to my husband when
we brought David home, family members who.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Gave me the cold shoulder.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
You can tell they didn't approve.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
They did not approve. And this is I mean, you
shake your head, but These are family members who endured
a lot. You know, we're in the South. They do
it a little lot.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Shaking my head to be clear, I'm shaking my head
because I feel that deeply for you. Yeah, just so
that you understand. Yeah, but and so they've endured a lot.
How could you?
Speaker 2 (28:41):
How could you?
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Yeah? Is it a I'm really asking this because I'm
not suggesting, I'm asking is it a you ain't doing
right by your race thing?
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Absolutely, definitely, absolutely what it is?
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Absolutely a part of my family comes from Aami African
Methodist Episcopal church.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
What it's what that idiot over in South Carolina walked into.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
So it was a how could you do this to us?
You know, to us as a people, as as African Americans.
You're bringing in this little Caucasian baby when they're X
amount of black children in the system.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
You know, you could have chosen one of them.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
But that was you.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Tell that to someone who has never experienced a system,
you know, that was what? Oh gosh, David is nine.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
That was probably that's when we first got it.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Yeah, so that was eight years ago.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
Now, the same person every year she makes sure she
gets all three of our boys the best Christmas presents
they could ever, that's what love does, that's what time does.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
More opportunity to your opportunity. That's right.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
She's one of their biggest advocates now loves those boys wholeheartedly.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
We'll go, We'll go to bat form and babysit.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
You know, your family sits in the middle of an
interesting dynamic word has the opportunity to educate and open minds.
That's right on both sides of the space.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Exactly.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
The most important thing, it's the most helping people to
love one another regardless. That's that's the most important thing,
you know for us. And uh, I just think that's
a message that needs to be continued. You know, it's
a message that needs to be continued. Utilize your life
(30:46):
as a ministry, as a ministry to help someone else,
you know.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Yeah, I don't think Jesus said I'm going to disciple
to these folks and the rest of y'all stay over
there exactly no, exactly for call to Big Christ like
this is it. This is what it looks like in
twenty twenty five. You better get over your mammy talking selves.
(31:19):
Get over, Yeah, get over, get over. And only people
in the South.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Called it all.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
I was wondering. I am certain from a white perspective,
the whole mammy thing came out. I was wondering if
you got called Uncle Tom's or sellouts.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
I got a whole post about it. Yeah, been called
it all but to live but all from Yeah for
loving a child?
Speaker 2 (31:48):
A child?
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Has it praisen you?
Speaker 2 (31:53):
It has grown us a lot. I'm certain it has grown.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
Us a lot.
Speaker 4 (31:58):
Now I understand my wife, she's the one that's on
the social media. She sees a lot of it. She
tells me about a.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Lot of it.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
Now, there has been times where I was like, give
me that phone, let me, let me, let me respond.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
She'd be like, no, I don't even know who you're
responding right. Matter. So here's the thing, y'all, hashtag transracial adoption.
How do you do the I don't know how you
do it? Say the handle for everybody listening that wants
to look in on the social media and see who
y'all are and the amazing family that y'all have, by
(32:37):
hook or croak established, they.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
Go to they can go to Instagram at Foster Wild
Black Fam or TikTok Foster Wild Black Fam.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
And to be clear, you get a lot of people supporting,
but you've gotten some negativity there too.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
Of course, of course we have.
Speaker 5 (32:55):
I mean, actually one story of h I saw you
posts that kid to reach out to you saying will
you adopt me?
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Yes? What? Yes, I've gotten.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
I get my d MS heartbreaking and I say the
screenshot and it's because he's in a foster care system
and I just looked at his profile and I can't
respond because he's a minor, you know. I can't even say,
let me speak to your foster, you know, but it's heartbreaking.
I get kids asking me, will you adopt me? I've
(33:29):
had mothers who want us to adopt their child, you know.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
And you've had mothers call you.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
Yes, I've had mothers to DM me and I had
to redirect them to someone else who was in a
position that could though honored and humbled by it, but heartbroken,
you know, because there's only so much that we can do,
and that's why we created the page and hopes that
our story will open up for others to foster into
(33:59):
it out.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Yeah, yeah, would you given all of it, would you
do it all over again? And would you encourage.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Others to absolutely with that hesitation.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
With doubt. It feels to me like your lives have
been enriched and fulfilled by absolutely exponentially. Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Yeah. Absolutely, the Johnny was rough, but it was worth it.
Speaker 4 (34:25):
To have kids that don't see any difference in you
because you didn't see any difference in there means a lot.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
It means a lot. It's uh. It gives us hope
for the future on that. Yeah for me, Yeah, Alex,
got anything else that I missed?
Speaker 5 (34:48):
I'd be curious your guys encouragement to everybody listening to
consider adopting, fostering, whatever big picture messages.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Like that you guys have.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Every two minutes a child walks into the foster cure system.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Is that right?
Speaker 3 (35:02):
Every two minutes a child walks into the system in
the United States? The United States? Wow, Yes, Over twenty
thousand children age out of the system.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Those are the ones I've coached. Eight and thirty three years.
I've coached eight kids that were in the foster system.
All of them aged out. And the statistics on the
people that age out of the foster system are devastating
as it pertains to drug use, jail time and prostitution,
(35:37):
and joblessness, homelessness. Homelessness also sorry, I forgot that. That's
the biggest one. Yeah, because where they go exactly and
they age out at eighteen, right at eighteen.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
My hope, my wish, my prayer is that our family
story will encourage others to open their homes and their
hearts to children in foster care. Peter said that he
didn't know that black people African Americans could foster, could adopt.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
He said, I didn't even know black people.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Yes, yes we can. Let's break that myth. You know,
yes we can, and they.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Can adopt white children. They can, no matter and happily right,
no matter what.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
We just want others to consider it. Put it on
the table, think about it, have the conversation.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
It is absolutely true when you think of multi racial families,
you think of white parents with Black Asian Hispanic children.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
Because that's what's on every pamphlet, that's what's on every website,
that's what's on.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Television, on Christmas cards. That's why Peter ourselves raising cultures.
I am buried.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
I'm throwing out all these hashtags, all these names of
accounts on social media you can find. We're changing the platform,
We're changing the of transracial adoption because it's important. To
know that there are others that look just like me,
they reflect me, that mirror me, that are fostering, that
are adopting.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Yeah, which is, let's be honest. If we don't view
it that way, we're eliminating half of the potential families
adopt exactly. That's stupid. Yes, if we're going to be
an army of folks changing the world, the army has
to include everybody. That can include everybody. They can. What
(37:31):
we're saying one.
Speaker 5 (37:32):
Thing we barely touched out with Peter, but I've seen
you've kind of touched on it to me is there
may be two million families waiting to adopt a child,
but they almost all want to adopt babies.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Yes.
Speaker 5 (37:43):
Yeah, Hence all these kids are still in the system,
and you're encouragement for people to consider older kids.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
Yes, the older kids need our love and attention just
as much as the babies. Everybody goes towards the babies.
But these teenagers who need family, who need structure, who
need role models, they're the ones who are crying out
for the most.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Let's go out there, let's research. Let's reach out to.
Speaker 3 (38:03):
Your local Department of Children and Family Services and see
what need you can meet. Even if it's not fostering
or even if it's not adopting these kids, you can
always do something. You can support, you can donate, you
can sign up, you can volunteer. There's something we all
can do, you.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Know, they say it. You know, it takes thirty days
to form a habit or break a habit.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
You know.
Speaker 4 (38:27):
I think if again, like she said, if you don't
want to adopt foster child, you know, for a small
short period of time, could change.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
That child's life for the rest of their lives, you know.
Speaker 4 (38:39):
And so just using that, utilizing that as an opportunity,
you know, to change a life, change the course of
a child's life. You can have a child that could
be on down, going down the road of drug use, alcoholism,
may have you never know. But they come into your
home and they see something different for a short period
of time could change them for a lifetime, you know.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
So go adopt, go foster, you know, dare to be different.
Speaker 5 (39:06):
Actually, one thing I see, I saw you post about
Isaiah one seventeen house. Yes, who was in here round A.
Paulson did an interview with us. Oh really and even
like on an even smaller level, like with what she's doing,
like half the kids in that Isaiah one seventeen house
for twenty four hours a week, like let them see radical.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Love exactly, yeah, exactly Yeah. So there you have it,
Mick and Tracy Taylor, crazy people who looked at the
norms and said we can break those for the good
of love and understanding. And one more time, those who
want to listen to those who are listening, that want
(39:42):
to see in on you tell me the handle some more.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
Time, they can find us on Instagram at Foster Wild
Black Fam and on TikTok Foster Wild Black Fam.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Y'all check that out and celebrate two extraordinary people who
are part of an extraordinary six person family who are
happy to teach and love and explain and be part
of the solution to a very dire problem in our country.
(40:11):
Nick Tracy, honestly so good to get to know you,
and thanks for taking the time to come join us.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Thank you for having us, thank you, thank you so much, and.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Thank you for joining us this week. If Meek and
Tracy Taylor have inspired you in general, or better yet,
to take action by fostering adoption or getting involved with
one of the foster and adoption, nonprofits we've featured, or
something else entirely. Please let me know I'd love to
(40:43):
hear about it. You can write me anytime at Bill
at Normalfolks dot us, and I guarantee you this I'll respond.
If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with friends,
share it on social subscribe to the podcast, rate it,
review it, Join the army at normal Folks dot us,
any and all of these things that will help us
(41:04):
grow an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney. Until
next time, do what you can
Everybody. It's Bill Courtney with an army of normal folks.
And we continue now with part two of our conversation
with Meek and Tracy Taylor, right after these brief messages
from our general sponsors. So occasionally, not slavery, I'm not
(00:33):
suggesting anything about what I'm about to say, but occasionally,
going back to the fifties, sixties, seventies, occasionally there really
were places that these domestics and the families became very,
very very close and it was a real good relationship. Yeah.
The vast majority of it, though, was work. Yes, that's it.
(00:55):
It was work. Okay. So, with that mentality that is
baked in to our Southern beings, on both the black
and the white side, racism and prejudiced oftentimes takes more
than one generation to break, because even when somebody feels it,
(01:19):
it is so baked into them generationally and culturally that
it's hard to break. And that's on both sides, I believe.
Oh yeah, so baked into our cultural experiences, all of
this history. How does David No, Okay, So we're going
(01:42):
to go to twenty fifteen. So with all of that,
what is it like as two black parents of an
adoptive white child in twenty fifteen to roll up into
home depot or Walmart.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Hadn't been in our home, not even David. He hadn't
been in our home a couple of hours. He just
come into our home.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
I needed diapers and I needed milk. My husband was
still at work, so I packed him up. We went
to Kroger, local Kroger and shopping in a produce section
in this little old white gentleman has been in this
late seventies, early eighties. You must have paid a pretty
penny for him, is what he said to me. Yeah,
(02:30):
And it took everything in me not to rise up
in that moment. It could be a teachable moment, or
it could be a moment where I completely go off
the well. You know, but I did.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I mean, I got to believe you got some angry
black woman in the years.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I do. I do.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
But at the moment, I didn't have enough Baill money,
I'll put it that way. You know, I didn't want
to be.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
On some of the stuff you said that prep was
really funny. I was waiting for your sense of humor.
There it comes right.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
He didn't want to be on the local news as
the gree black woman. But you know, I built this
whole persona. I built this whole personality and I want
to stay in that in that place, so I chose
just to walk away. And sometimes in life you have
to walk away from people.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
And what did you even respond?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I did not, because you're not worth mine.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Did you shake your head?
Speaker 4 (03:15):
I did?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
I did? I did.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
You're eighty, You're stuck in your waist. I don't have
time to try to teach you right now in this moment.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I have my child.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Why did he mean it? And I mean this. You
don't know me well enough to understand my whole perspective
on this, but try to trust me. When I asked
this question, did he mean it derogatorily or was he
(03:47):
just ignorant?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I think he was ignorant.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
There's a difference, and that's why I said, if it
were a teachable moment.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
But being new to this fresh I hadn't been a
trans transfercial.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Adopted parents, and I'm very young at this time, so
I think it's best, like I said, just to walk away.
You know, from some situations, if I feel like I
can teach you about who we are, our family are dynamics,
then I will you know this ten years later. I'll
take the time.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
But I thought it was just best just to walk away.
I don't have to educate everybody. It's not my job.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
I would have expected more of instead of I bet
you paid a pretty penny for it. My expectation would
have been, whose family are you sitting for? Well, we
got a little bit of that lot.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I mean, how much time do we have. I mean,
I'm sitting at home. This is probably four years ago
when we moved into our.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
House, just four years ago.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Yeah, moved into our home, build our home, a beautiful neighborhood,
predominantly white neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
And this guy is there to fix our French doors.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
And David and Dylan, my youngest, are running around and
he looks at me and he says, are you babysitting?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Mm hmm, yeah, no.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
These are my children.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
This is my house, my house, and you can now
you're working for me.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Now because I no longer need your services, We'll find
someone else to do it.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Yeah. So, and this is just a few again ignorance
or or derogatory both, because the ignorance is derogatory both.
So we're going to get to Dylan in just a
moment for everybody listening. Why am I going into this?
(05:44):
I really try not to sensationalize things like this. It's
not the purpose of our show. These are two people.
Let me tell you a story. I'm going to tell
you a story about high school sweethearts that everybody listening
(06:06):
to me close their eyes, really, just close their eyes,
and let me tell you a story. It's a story
of two high school sweethearts who meet in college, who
get married and wait to have a child until they're
married to do it the right way because of both
their faith and because of their belief in the social
construct of a family. And they do that, and they
(06:28):
raise their child, and later on in life can't have
any more children. And as they grow in their professional careers,
earn money, pay their bills on time, and do their
right things. They build a home, and because they can't
have children, they adopt a beautiful baby boy named David
with brown hair and blue eyes, move into their new
home and start this beautiful family. The greatest Norman Walk
(06:53):
well all American dream and they're black. And the last
three words is what makes you open your eyes? We
have got to come to a place that the end
they're black doesn't have to be said or even matter.
(07:17):
But unfortunately in twenty twenty five, that is the part
that still makes us open our eyes. Yeah, and why
does that matter is because it's is army and normal folks.
And we talk about how our world changes when normal people,
who are unremarkable and just average folks like the rest
(07:39):
of us, see areas of need and fill them for
the betterment of their community in people's lives. And if
we had millions of people across the country doing that,
our culture and our society change and we can fix
so much of what else is Well, guess what normal
people are Black? Normal people are Asian, normal people are Hispanic.
(08:00):
Normal people look like all kinds of manners of folks.
And candidly, what is the world normal? It's your own
normal and so and army and normal folks. It's about
an entire community of Americans coming together and serving one
another for the betterment of society. And we should not
have to pause when those are black families helping white kids,
(08:22):
because we have gone so accustomed to the social construct
that it's white people helping the poor black folks. Yeah,
and until we break that, we will never be full, right,
That's why I think your story is so important because
you guys and Peter teach us a very valuable lesson. Yeah, yeah,
(08:49):
I think I think the problem is that, you know,
we have to.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
Reassess what normal is like, especially in America, like we
you know, what we knew or believed to be normal,
It's not always normal everywhere that you go. You know,
in every situation, and this is one of those situations,
you know that what you would think to be a
(09:18):
certain way is definitely not that way. And so I
think I think America as a whole, and it could
go broader than America, but this is where we live.
I think we got to get a better understanding that
it's not just about how you think, you know, it's
not about how you would talk.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
You know, you have to look at the world. It's
a different reality now.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
You know a lot of things that like you were
talking about, that were going on back in the days
of slavery, you know, or even after slavery, those things,
though there may be some of course we talk about racism,
racism and things like that still exists. But what we
came from or where we came from when it comes
to uh, those days they're much different now, Opportunities are
(10:04):
different now, you know, families are structured differently, you know,
the the the chances.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Uh. We talked about kids.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
In foster care and how there are more you know,
where it was once believed by many of us, uh,
that there were that there were that there were more
black kids in the system than white kids. Well, that's
that's what that's what was believed to be normal. Well
what is reality, you know, because what often is normal
to us is not always reality, you know, And so
(10:34):
now we have a new reality on.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Okay, so this is possible or this is something that's
going on.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
You know, Uh, in the world, there are people out
there that are black, There are people out there that
are Asian. There are people out there that are Hispanic
that are adopting kids that are white as well as
there are white people that are adopting black kids. Why
can't it just be a world where it's just normal
to love some one opposed to being a world where okay,
(11:03):
it's normal to love this particular or this group should
be with this group, but that group should.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Be with that group. Man, I love it. I embrace
when I see a look.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
On an individual's face, when my son run up to
me and say, Dad, I embraced it. I embrace that conversation,
you know, I embraced that that Look, it doesn't anger
me at all.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
It really is a chance to teach. It's an opportunity
to minister.
Speaker 4 (11:35):
It's an opportunity to minister and giving people knowledge about
a situation. That's what ministry is, you know, bringing the truth,
you know in a situation, that's what ministry is. And
so I embrace those opportunities.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
I love it. I coach coach.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Baseball basketball at a local church in the area, predominantly
white church. That's only because the only reason we did
it is because my kids go to this particular school
that's in this area, and so the opportunity was there
for them to play sports at this particular church. We
always want things that they do to be faith based,
(12:13):
so they're always getting Christ in the midst of whatever
it is that they're doing.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
I get an opportunity to coach and coach one of
my son's team, and people are out there that are
trying to figure out, well, who's whose child?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
You know, where's this child?
Speaker 4 (12:30):
You know?
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Yeah? Yeah, but it doesn't bother me one bit.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
You know, they try to figure out and then my
son will going to tell you, Dad, Dad, you know,
and the look on their faces, you know, it's just
like you know.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
But it's no big deal to me. But I like
to think. I really like to think that I have
cleansed myself. We all. I cannot stand the phrase I
don't see color. I think that's a big horse crown.
How could you not.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Your nails on the chalk board?
Speaker 1 (13:03):
I mean, you feel the same way. It's the stupidest phrase.
I get the well intentioned meaning behind it, but it's
still so elementary stupid. Exactly, you see color, yes, yes, okay,
it's your reaction to seeing color and how you handle
(13:24):
it the matters. If I were at a baseball game
and I saw a little white kid with blue eyes
and chunky cheeks, I think it is a brown hair,
run up to your very proud black self and hug
you and say, dad, there's no way I wouldn't go right.
But what do I think do and react after that? Yes?
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Exactly I can't.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
And honesty say I wouldn't see that. I would see
it exactly, But they ain't nothing wrong with seeing it.
In fact, maybe there's some growth and seeing that exactly.
It's what you do after the exactly that matters. So
everybody listened to us. Don't think that recognizing the differences
(14:12):
is sinful or wrong or bad. It's not. It's human nature.
We're gonna do it. But what do you do once
you recognize the difference? Exactly. We'll be right back, Pek.
Speaker 5 (14:40):
You actually had a post, I think on Instagram recently
the soccer game.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
We were at Dylan's football game one evening.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
We got to get to Dylan. But yes, we're going
to get to.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
Dylan's football game one evening. And I'm sitting there and
I can overhear two ladies that were talking about Dylan.
He just made a play and they were talking about
his play. And another parent tells another one tap on
the shoulder and said, don't say anything else about her,
don't say anything about that's her kid. And they went
on and on in this conversation talking about my family,
(15:13):
my child. I'm literally sitting right here. If you have
questions as.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Her response with him, that's interesting, that's very interesting.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
And they proceeded to engage in this whole conversation and
I'm literally sitting two feet away.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
From white whispers they were white. Of course, just tap
me on the show.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
We'll hold it, say, of course, because that's where I
got to believe.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
There's some black parents that are also going.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I get it from both, but in this particular setting,
we're the only.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
There.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Basically there are a few other but we get it
from both sides. We get the negativity from both sides.
But I'm thinking we're sitting right here, just tap, just
tap me on the shoulders. Instead of making your own judgments,
instead of creating your own story about us, let me
tell you.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I can tell you a lot better. I've lived in Yeah, it's.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Is rude them, that's ridiculous. So okay, So David was
so easy and decided to do it again a little pious.
That's another story too, you know. So tell me about Dylan.
How Dylan show up and when and how? And it's
dyaling white or black as we don't even know.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
But there's a child in between. That's Dwayne. African Americans.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Catch me up, all right? So the biological child. She
didn't come out white, did she, because that'd be weird,
I would wonder, So Taylor, Taylor.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
Then there's then David, and then we get a phone
call for a six year old little African American boy
named Dwayne.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Dwayne, Yeah, and its six years old. That's a whole
different dynamic than very diffic six.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
But he came in and we thought we were done
with him. You know, we told our caseworker, we're done,
we don't we don't want any more kids.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
And again his rights were giving up, fostered rights given.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
H Mom and dad signed over their rights. They were terminated.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
And we want to I want to interject a little
bit on Dwayne. Yes, we have to.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
There was quite a difference in the cases. In the
cases between David and Dwayne.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Background, well, even in the background, it was the process
of adopting.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
The process of adopting. It was easier because he was black.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
It was a fast I call it the fast food
it was.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
They were pushing.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
It was so cool, opposed to where with David it
was delayed, delayed delay.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Uh, even though it was because it was we we
we we friends racial adoptions. I'm using we are purman.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
We are very certain that it had a lot to
do with no Stone went we came to looking for
a relative for David.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Oh, they kept yes, and then we say no, stone,
don't turn not really looking at your lives.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
No looking for any family.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
You're looking for anybody might take this kid, Let's send
them anywhere. But here, you know, it's what we felt like.
You know, well, why wouldn't you feel that one? Yeah,
I feel that one. Yeah, And it was And does
that happen with white families for black kids?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I'm not a white family.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
We're friends that we do.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
We do.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Yeah. And we had a friend that adopted a black child.
Well did they go looking for a black family? Especially difficulty.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
There's always the process where you have to look for
a family member. You have to it's posted in the newspaper,
it's put it online.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
You're looking for a relative.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
But there's also a timeline within thirty days, I believe.
Then it was within thirty days they have to come forward,
and it was thirty days, and then it was sixty days,
and it was ninety days, and they kept waiting.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
The status of the parents never changed.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
Yeah, And it was just like, but when we got
Dwayne six months, it was like, are you all ready
to adopt?
Speaker 2 (19:24):
You know?
Speaker 1 (19:24):
It was it was it was let's go, yeah, you know,
And so.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
We felt a certain way about that. You know and
as a matter of natural, as a matter of fact,
was it?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
What was it? We adopted Dwayne?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Yeah, Wayne's adoption came first.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Dwayne showed up. That's how exactly exactly we wound up
adopting him first. Okay, so now you've got David Dwayne,
and you figure we're done. Five's good, We're done.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
And then David's biological mother, she was pregnant with an
the child we didn't know, come.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Out David and Dylan are you I never got that
and maybe you told me I didn't realize for real siblings. Yes,
if the mics went on, I would say this fight
a woman at David and gave David up. Yes, yes,
(20:24):
and then has another child five or six years later. Yes,
happens all the time.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Yes, well it was five was five six years later? Okay,
I'm sorry to the timelines off a little bit, but.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Yeah, he had been placed in a foster home. The
last names were different, so they didn't make the connection
that the boys were siblings. So he had been placed
in a foster home. And when they made the connection,
they gave us the call and ax, did we want
to take him in as well?
Speaker 1 (20:53):
You see also blue eyed and brown haired.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
No, he was.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
He's a little strawberry blonde kid. Oh man, you yeah,
it changed, it's been changing.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
But it must look likeas at your dinner table.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
It's very different, all right.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
So you bring him in as foster.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
We bring him in as our foster.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
But now that David is his biological sibling, that one's
got to be a little easier. On the adoption side,
it was a little east.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
It's a little easier because mom now had a pattern
and the courts were like, okay, let's just go ahead and.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
See what's going on here. Yeah, and when did you
adopt Dylan three years ago?
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Yeah, three years ago. Finalize his adoption as well.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
So now you have Taylor is twenty seven, twenty seven.
Then actually Dwayne is fourteen, David.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Is, Dylan is villain?
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Is ye house fool one, big happy, big crazy crazy Yes?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
I got pulled over.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
I was taking the boys to school and going a
little bit over the speed limit in the school and
a police officer pulled me over and he said, oh,
you are carpooling, huh with all these kids back here,
And it's like, no, that one and that one, that one,
they're all mine, you know, but carpool house.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Full we had four and four years. Thank you. That's
a better reaction. My wife, Oh gosh, my beautiful wife.
So she was twenty six and had a three year
old or two year old and one.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Year old, pregnant, bless her and pregnant.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Imagine look she got in Walmart. Now they were all
the same color, but it was still like, I can't
tell you how many times you get askedtart these all
your ship. Yeah. The joke I get is you know
how this works, right, Yeah, you know, a hospital bed fetish.
We won't get So has the reaction to your family changed. No,
(23:05):
as recently as.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
As recently as what.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Last well the last video that I posted with the
football game, But before that I had someone say, oh,
I didn't realize that your husband wasn't white. I thought
your husband was white because David is white, and because
you're no, we're transracial adoptive family.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
My husband is we're both black. Yeah, that's time we checked.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Yeah. It just goes back to what we believe is normal,
you know.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
And and I think once we get away from assuming,
you know, what we think is normal or like what
our mind tells us, you know what normally is I
think we would be a lot better off.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
You know, ask the question. I have a question, go
ahead that wasn't in the problem that I can't I
can't help, but ask. And I think it comes from,
you know, in second grade having one dad, and fourth
grade having another dad, and the sixth grade having another dad.
(24:11):
I remember to stinkly some of the questions I got
coming up as a child, and they affected me because
the questions themselves said a lot about my world. How
about the kids they have to get questions too, and
how do they handle it?
Speaker 2 (24:30):
We prepared our children.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
We prepared them, and luckily I work in the school
and know most of the staff know the kids because
the staff kids. But we prepared them, and I think
they handle it really well. Kids today, most of the
time it's oh, that's Dylan's mom, Oh that's David's mom.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Don't kids kids haven't grown up with their social so
it's different for the it's different for the kids, which
is hopeful, Yeah, it is. It's hopeful.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
Now I've had I've had a different experience with with
with some of the kids, but their kids, so I understand.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Uh yeah, because they might just say something really exactly.
I mean, thinking about it is very direct, you know.
And so I think we were at the zoo.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
I went to the zoo with dealing with his class,
and one of his friends, uh walked up to me
and said, Dylan, Dylan is just your dad, and Uh,
Dylan was like, yeah, how's your dad brown?
Speaker 3 (25:37):
And your.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Question a question, that's a fair question, right right, right.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
So so I've gotten that a lot, you know, with
the kids, But for me, it's it's hilarious to me,
you know.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
So from the kids that is actually almost endearing. Yeah
to me, I love it.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
It's hilarious to me from the parents as well, you know,
from the from the older people, not just being but
the older people, but not endearing, you know what.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Again, you know, I like to embrace opportunities.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
I don't have a problem with a conversation, you know,
because I feel like some conversations need to be had,
because if you're.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
God is love and we.
Speaker 4 (26:20):
Can't keep love in a box. We can't keep God
in a box. And I think sometimes that's what we do.
We keep them in our little boxes. We think that hey,
once we can't go outside of this little square, you know,
because if we go outside this little square, things start
to give a little cloudy, you know. So I want
people to stop putting love in a box. You know
(26:42):
that you can love anybody in any position that you're in.
Rather that be a parent, rather that be a guardian,
Rather it be adoptive, rather it be biological.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Just love people, you know, Just love people and allow.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
The opportunity for someone to love someone that looks like you,
even if they even if the person is doing the loving,
don't look like you. Just allow them to do that,
you know, I don't think that's hard to do.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
We'll be right back. I think it's only fair. We're
not going to end on this, but we're at the
(27:34):
tail end of it. We're gonna end on something really cool.
But how does it come from black folks to you?
Because that's from a whole different place that their questions
come from. Well, and it's only fair to ask that question. Yes,
absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
I'll put it like this.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
We have had, or I mentioned to my husband when
we brought David home, family members who.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Gave me the cold shoulder.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
You can tell they didn't approve.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
They did not approve. And this is I mean, you
shake your head, but These are family members who endured
a lot. You know, we're in the South. They do
it a little lot.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Shaking my head to be clear, I'm shaking my head
because I feel that deeply for you. Yeah, just so
that you understand. Yeah, but and so they've endured a lot.
How could you?
Speaker 2 (28:41):
How could you?
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Yeah? Is it a I'm really asking this because I'm
not suggesting, I'm asking is it a you ain't doing
right by your race thing?
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Absolutely, definitely, absolutely what it is?
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Absolutely a part of my family comes from Aami African
Methodist Episcopal church.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
What it's what that idiot over in South Carolina walked into.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
So it was a how could you do this to us?
You know, to us as a people, as as African Americans.
You're bringing in this little Caucasian baby when they're X
amount of black children in the system.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
You know, you could have chosen one of them.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
But that was you.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Tell that to someone who has never experienced a system,
you know, that was what? Oh gosh, David is nine.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
That was probably that's when we first got it.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Yeah, so that was eight years ago.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
Now, the same person every year she makes sure she
gets all three of our boys the best Christmas presents
they could ever, that's what love does, that's what time does.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
More opportunity to your opportunity. That's right.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
She's one of their biggest advocates now loves those boys wholeheartedly.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
We'll go, We'll go to bat form and babysit.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
You know, your family sits in the middle of an
interesting dynamic word has the opportunity to educate and open minds.
That's right on both sides of the space.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Exactly.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
The most important thing, it's the most helping people to
love one another regardless. That's that's the most important thing,
you know for us. And uh, I just think that's
a message that needs to be continued. You know, it's
a message that needs to be continued. Utilize your life
(30:46):
as a ministry, as a ministry to help someone else,
you know.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Yeah, I don't think Jesus said I'm going to disciple
to these folks and the rest of y'all stay over
there exactly no, exactly for call to Big Christ like
this is it. This is what it looks like in
twenty twenty five. You better get over your mammy talking selves.
(31:19):
Get over, Yeah, get over, get over. And only people
in the South.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Called it all.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
I was wondering. I am certain from a white perspective,
the whole mammy thing came out. I was wondering if
you got called Uncle Tom's or sellouts.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
I got a whole post about it. Yeah, been called
it all but to live but all from Yeah for
loving a child?
Speaker 2 (31:48):
A child?
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Has it praisen you?
Speaker 2 (31:53):
It has grown us a lot. I'm certain it has grown.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
Us a lot.
Speaker 4 (31:58):
Now I understand my wife, she's the one that's on
the social media. She sees a lot of it. She
tells me about a.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Lot of it.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
Now, there has been times where I was like, give
me that phone, let me, let me, let me respond.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
She'd be like, no, I don't even know who you're
responding right. Matter. So here's the thing, y'all, hashtag transracial adoption.
How do you do the I don't know how you
do it? Say the handle for everybody listening that wants
to look in on the social media and see who
y'all are and the amazing family that y'all have, by
(32:37):
hook or croak established, they.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
Go to they can go to Instagram at Foster Wild
Black Fam or TikTok Foster Wild Black Fam.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
And to be clear, you get a lot of people supporting,
but you've gotten some negativity there too.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
Of course, of course we have.
Speaker 5 (32:55):
I mean, actually one story of h I saw you
posts that kid to reach out to you saying will
you adopt me?
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Yes? What? Yes, I've gotten.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
I get my d MS heartbreaking and I say the
screenshot and it's because he's in a foster care system
and I just looked at his profile and I can't
respond because he's a minor, you know. I can't even say,
let me speak to your foster, you know, but it's heartbreaking.
I get kids asking me, will you adopt me? I've
(33:29):
had mothers who want us to adopt their child, you know.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
And you've had mothers call you.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
Yes, I've had mothers to DM me and I had
to redirect them to someone else who was in a
position that could though honored and humbled by it, but heartbroken,
you know, because there's only so much that we can do,
and that's why we created the page and hopes that
our story will open up for others to foster into
(33:59):
it out.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Yeah, yeah, would you given all of it, would you
do it all over again? And would you encourage.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Others to absolutely with that hesitation.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
With doubt. It feels to me like your lives have
been enriched and fulfilled by absolutely exponentially. Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Yeah. Absolutely, the Johnny was rough, but it was worth it.
Speaker 4 (34:25):
To have kids that don't see any difference in you
because you didn't see any difference in there means a lot.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
It means a lot. It's uh. It gives us hope
for the future on that. Yeah for me, Yeah, Alex,
got anything else that I missed?
Speaker 5 (34:48):
I'd be curious your guys encouragement to everybody listening to
consider adopting, fostering, whatever big picture messages.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Like that you guys have.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Every two minutes a child walks into the foster cure system.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Is that right?
Speaker 3 (35:02):
Every two minutes a child walks into the system in
the United States? The United States? Wow, Yes, Over twenty
thousand children age out of the system.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Those are the ones I've coached. Eight and thirty three years.
I've coached eight kids that were in the foster system.
All of them aged out. And the statistics on the
people that age out of the foster system are devastating
as it pertains to drug use, jail time and prostitution,
(35:37):
and joblessness, homelessness. Homelessness also sorry, I forgot that. That's
the biggest one. Yeah, because where they go exactly and
they age out at eighteen, right at eighteen.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
My hope, my wish, my prayer is that our family
story will encourage others to open their homes and their
hearts to children in foster care. Peter said that he
didn't know that black people African Americans could foster, could adopt.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
He said, I didn't even know black people.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Yes, yes we can. Let's break that myth. You know,
yes we can, and they.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Can adopt white children. They can, no matter and happily right,
no matter what.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
We just want others to consider it. Put it on
the table, think about it, have the conversation.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
It is absolutely true when you think of multi racial families,
you think of white parents with Black Asian Hispanic children.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
Because that's what's on every pamphlet, that's what's on every website,
that's what's on.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Television, on Christmas cards. That's why Peter ourselves raising cultures.
I am buried.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
I'm throwing out all these hashtags, all these names of
accounts on social media you can find. We're changing the platform,
We're changing the of transracial adoption because it's important. To
know that there are others that look just like me,
they reflect me, that mirror me, that are fostering, that
are adopting.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Yeah, which is, let's be honest. If we don't view
it that way, we're eliminating half of the potential families
adopt exactly. That's stupid. Yes, if we're going to be
an army of folks changing the world, the army has
to include everybody. That can include everybody. They can. What
(37:31):
we're saying one.
Speaker 5 (37:32):
Thing we barely touched out with Peter, but I've seen
you've kind of touched on it to me is there
may be two million families waiting to adopt a child,
but they almost all want to adopt babies.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Yes.
Speaker 5 (37:43):
Yeah, Hence all these kids are still in the system,
and you're encouragement for people to consider older kids.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
Yes, the older kids need our love and attention just
as much as the babies. Everybody goes towards the babies.
But these teenagers who need family, who need structure, who
need role models, they're the ones who are crying out
for the most.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Let's go out there, let's research. Let's reach out to.
Speaker 3 (38:03):
Your local Department of Children and Family Services and see
what need you can meet. Even if it's not fostering
or even if it's not adopting these kids, you can
always do something. You can support, you can donate, you
can sign up, you can volunteer. There's something we all
can do, you.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Know, they say it. You know, it takes thirty days
to form a habit or break a habit.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
You know.
Speaker 4 (38:27):
I think if again, like she said, if you don't
want to adopt foster child, you know, for a small
short period of time, could change.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
That child's life for the rest of their lives, you know.
Speaker 4 (38:39):
And so just using that, utilizing that as an opportunity,
you know, to change a life, change the course of
a child's life. You can have a child that could
be on down, going down the road of drug use, alcoholism,
may have you never know. But they come into your
home and they see something different for a short period
of time could change them for a lifetime, you know.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
So go adopt, go foster, you know, dare to be different.
Speaker 5 (39:06):
Actually, one thing I see, I saw you post about
Isaiah one seventeen house. Yes, who was in here round A.
Paulson did an interview with us. Oh really and even
like on an even smaller level, like with what she's doing,
like half the kids in that Isaiah one seventeen house
for twenty four hours a week, like let them see radical.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Love exactly, yeah, exactly Yeah. So there you have it,
Mick and Tracy Taylor, crazy people who looked at the
norms and said we can break those for the good
of love and understanding. And one more time, those who
want to listen to those who are listening, that want
(39:42):
to see in on you tell me the handle some more.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
Time, they can find us on Instagram at Foster Wild
Black Fam and on TikTok Foster Wild Black Fam.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Y'all check that out and celebrate two extraordinary people who
are part of an extraordinary six person family who are
happy to teach and love and explain and be part
of the solution to a very dire problem in our country.
(40:11):
Nick Tracy, honestly so good to get to know you,
and thanks for taking the time to come join us.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Thank you for having us, thank you, thank you so much, and.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Thank you for joining us this week. If Meek and
Tracy Taylor have inspired you in general, or better yet,
to take action by fostering adoption or getting involved with
one of the foster and adoption, nonprofits we've featured, or
something else entirely. Please let me know I'd love to
(40:43):
hear about it. You can write me anytime at Bill
at Normalfolks dot us, and I guarantee you this I'll respond.
If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with friends,
share it on social subscribe to the podcast, rate it,
review it, Join the army at normal Folks dot us,
any and all of these things that will help us
(41:04):
grow an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney. Until
next time, do what you can
Host
Bill Courtney
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