July 27, 2022 • 33 mins
Season 1: We're All Gonna Die
Angie Martinez and Mary J. Blige instantly bonded when they first met. Angie was a young radio personality, and Mary was an up-and-coming r&b singer. The two have remained close for over two decades and are now sharing what they’ve learned about themselves and each other.In this episode, two real-life friends sit and chat about their evolution and growth in a conversation that touches on self-love, the pain of change, facing fears, and making each day count.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Andre Martinez in Real Life Podcast Chapter one. We're all
gonna die? Are we starting? We're rolling? We on? How's
my hair? Is my hair cute? How's my Nicole? I'm okay,
Well I'm just a mess. How am I Brittany? Thank you? Sure?
Because she'll blame you if she doesn't. I'm good, alright, alright, good.
(00:21):
So my sister is my guest on my podcast today,
which could be good or bad, right because it's done
nothing bad? Nothing bad? Could ever know your glass? Can
you slay my glasses for me again? Please? Thanks? Why
do you do this to your glass? I'm gonna tell
you how. Um, when I'm watching TV, I'll lay down
(00:41):
and I lay down with my glasses and that's how
they end up being bad all right right now because
I need my glasses to see Hi boo, Hi Andie?
Can we go again? That's why I love you. You
know that everybody in the whole world knows I love you.
Sometimes when you have a friend that you're interviewing, it'd
be weird because I know so much things. I don't
(01:03):
want to say anything that is off. I'd been like,
does everybody know that? Do I just know that? But
lately I find you have been very open in general.
Sometimes I see you in then interview and I'm like, oh,
she told them that, Oh she said that publicly. Is
that a conscious thing or is that something that has
just happened to you. I think it's like I have
(01:24):
a lot of things I don't need to hide because
people want to know. You know, how am I sustaining? How?
You know? How is this possible? You know? So there's
a lot of things that I don't mind sharing to
show them the steps, you know, it wasn't easy, and
this is one of the reasons why, you know. So
it's like it's think things I don't want people to know.
(01:44):
Trust me, they don't know. They will never know. Never
I don't care what they think. They know, they will
never know. The ship that I don't know? Why is that?
Is that? Is that just it's just too private, it's embarrassing,
or it's just something that you need. It's like it's
like a piece of clothes and aware, you know, you
need that protection, You need some covering somewhere. You just
can't be running around naked, you know, And I think
(02:06):
I've been, You've been running around with my prama underwear on.
I want to rip off my prama underwear. So I
need those things, please keep so so just to be
those things I would not reveal, you know. Yeah, Well,
so the reason I wanted to do this podcast. There's
a couple of things. And as my friend, you know
this about me, how much I have changed over the
(02:28):
past couple of years due to experience, due to work,
the world, the world changing my own personal experience. And
also we're getting older and we're and we're like, we've
seen a lot and we've lived a lot and done
a lot. And I also feel like during COVID everybody
had to like look at their life in a different way.
Did you how did that change? Like? What did you like?
(02:52):
I actually went deeper with the self love. You know,
I started finding myself during you know, the marriage in
the darkness and all of that stuff. But once I
was out of the marriage, I was so angry because
of the divorce and the alimony, and I was angry
for a long time. And um, once I got over
to anger, I started going in and and and loving
(03:16):
on a child, loving her a little Mary, spending more
time with her, letting her be a kid, letting her
run out in the backyard. You know, drink whatever, eat
whatever she wants to eat. And during the pandemic, that's
what I did. I was buying myself a lot um
in my backyard. I drank a lot of wine. I
had this whole thing. I was having full conversation, so
(03:38):
full conversations with myself and um, I just learned to
just really get into the deep inner love for myself.
That's and that's been making me happy, like just just freedom.
Like I saw a picture myself last night from this
event I was having and I was stretched out like that.
I was like, oh, shoot, I'm happy her. She I
(04:00):
love that finally, you know, because I know the steps
to continue because it's a you have to continue to
do the work. It's not like one day be here
just happy every day. Yeah, it doesn't work like that.
So that's what that's that's where I'm magic loving on Mary.
And I hate to sound selfish, but I am right now. Yes,
I've just had this conversation with Brittany in the car today.
(04:22):
Because Brittany is in her twenties. She's my assistant who
she's a producer on this podcast. And I remember in
my twenties, I was you know, I was raised to think,
but we gotta be kind to everyone. We gotta think
about everybody else, we gotta do it was always or
even my own career. It's like I wanted to inspire people.
I wanted to everything was like outward going for other people,
(04:43):
do things for other people, and I thought that that
made me a good person, or being empathetic to people
all the time. I thought that made me a good person.
And it might have. But you get to a point
where you're like, I only got a limited time on
this earth. How much of that am I willing to
give away to everyone else instead of just waking up
and doing what I want to do selfishly for myself.
(05:06):
And I was like, maybe that sounds selfish to me,
but that's kind of where I am and I'm okay
with that, and I've been very mindful of it. This
whole reason this podcast happened. I've been very mindful to
the fact that we are here for a limited amount
of time. Just that thought alone. If you wake up everything,
if you wake up every dingy and be like, I'm
only have a limited amount of time, That's where I'm at.
(05:29):
So where do you what do you do with that? Like,
how do you live your life differently. Once you have
that realization, you take care of you life is important.
It's it's the most amazing, precious gift we're ever gonna
get ourselves. And if we don't treat it like that,
we can lose our lives. You know, we can spiritually
lose our lives. We can just be walking dead when
(05:50):
we just don't take care of our lives. You understand
what I'm saying, no to, Yeah, but tell me, tell
me I do kind of But okay, spirit really dead?
Meaning like you you know, you have been in the
bad room. You've never been in a bad relationship? Are
you cry what you're talking to? So you're in something
(06:11):
that no longer it's healthy for you. It's not doing
anything for you mentally, spiritually, physically, financially. Are you walking
dead and you're a walking dead? You're just sitting through
it for what? So you don't want to end up?
So we know what that feels like. So we don't
not not want to end up like that ever again.
And that's the work that we're doing to keep from
(06:31):
doing that again, to not be the walking dead either
walking dead, We want to walking living, walking living walking
best version of ourselves at all time. And there's so
many people in the world that are doing that and
don't even know they're doing They're just miserable and going
through the motions of not getting anything, just bullshit, getting
(06:52):
nothing in return, and chasing, chasing nothing, waiting for nothing.
I've been there too, you know, And and that was
just time to want more, want something now? Want what
do you want? Love? Love? But love for me? First?
I found that love, the love for Mary. I found it,
(07:13):
and I would suck anybody up to try to take
it away from because it's so real and it's so good,
and I work for and I earned it and I
have to keep working on it every single day. And
it's a job. It's a real job, and it and
it hurts, Like I'm so proud of you because I
know when you're when you come to And it's not
(07:33):
a small thing when you say that. Some people think
it's just a sound bite or something like you've learned
how to love yourself, But it's a real it's a
real deal. My life is my my baby. You don't
always feel like that, obviously, No, I hated my life.
I didn't know why. I just hated myself. Hated my life,
hated the way I look hate it, but the way
I spoke. I hate a sound of my voice and
(07:55):
be like, ah, that's how that's me. Now, I's like
I need to hear that again, Like it's it's just
some miracle. It's some miracle kind of intoence. And I'm
by myself a lot of you having dates to ship
with myself, Like we're going on the dates and we're going,
got you, but got you? But we we you know,
youveen splurge, hanging out, you can buying, We're going, we're
buying the biggest chain. We could buy Oldies boots this week. Oh,
(08:20):
like it's it's just it's dope. You know. I've never
been like this. I used to be shell shocked, scared, scared, scared.
I'm scared of myself. That's what we That's what we're scared.
We're scared of ourselves. It don't be people to be
the power. Oh ship, afraid of the power, Afraid of
my own power. You know that's the case, right, Yes,
they do. They do. The other thing that I think
(08:42):
that we do. I had talked to a couple of
people about this is especially people have been successful in
their careers. Like spend a lot of our lives, a
lot of a lot of our lives chasing something. It's
like chasing success, chasing money, chasing to get out of
the bad situation. Like do you still feel that, do
(09:05):
you still feel that energy that are you chasing something? Still?
Nothing really, not a dollar, not a person, not you know.
Love is tricky because you can end up chasing and
not know you're chasing until you were, like, whoa, I
got that feeling again, that nasty feeling of I think
(09:28):
I'm gonna lose something that you've never had. You feel
like you might lose the exactly so I have I'm
not chasing nothing. And it's like when you're not chasing,
everything just falls in your lap, everything just coming from
here from here. So I'm not chasing success because that
I got. I am what I am, who I am
for the rest of my life. So I don't need
(09:49):
to be running after a dollar or running in to
do a show, or trying to be seen the most.
I'm whatever. So it's not a good feeling, it's great.
I felt so good. I'm just oh man, ship, I
love that for you. I do. I sometimes have to
check myself I think I definitely have slowed the chase down.
(10:10):
I think that has been the most uncomfortable transition for
me because I was always chasing to be inspired, to
be on the next thing, to reinvent, to um, just
stay relevant, you know, chasing that type of ship, right,
And it took and it took God to sit me
(10:30):
down for a little while for me to be like
uncomfortable and can't chase nothing, to be like, okay, I
think I'm good, and then and then it turned to like,
I actually think I like not chasing ship and just
kind of being and being in the moment and appreciated
life and going to sit with my girlfriend and have
(10:50):
some drinks. And do you not that when you get
in that place in your life, you look at yourself
and you look, I'm amazing to yourself, like you look
so boss, like whatever that you look so good your
boss now your boss because nothing of you. But we
(11:12):
weren't boss because everything had control of us. So we
always had this look of and didn't know it. But
now we're just like, okay, all right, cool, you come in.
You're going so like for real And that takes work too.
You know, what do you think that the biggest control
of you. I don't want to say it. I have
(11:34):
an idea of two things that came right, don't you
fucking say it. You know exactly what I was gonna say. Exactly.
Y'all probably could get the two things that I was thinking. Man,
and those things That's why I says it's not easy
(11:56):
because those things are hard. You know what I'm say.
People are hard. People can have control over you, you know,
wanting to be loved, wanting to be picked. So you
think love and that type of stuff have more control
of you than you chasing your career or your passion
because you I mean you you made Mary J. Blige.
(12:17):
That's not a small thing wanting to be loved. But
so you you were never chasing because you are serious
about your career. Didn't just happen. It wasn't by accident
that you became this household name, like you have to
put work into that. So but do you ever feel
like you were chasing that at any point or like
(12:38):
I didn't start chasing or until I got married and
things were just turned into ship and then it was like, Okay,
I gotta figure out a way to get us out
of this shiphole. We in financially financially then I started
being like then, But from to then, I didn't even
know if I was coming to go. When I was
(12:58):
singing for my life, I was, y'all know, I didn't
care what I was doing. I was. It wasn't about it,
you never or just even success. No really, because when
I when I when I got signed, I signed my
contract when a washing machine in the projects, like, it
was like, we're getting out of here, and the only
(13:19):
thing to do was just keep singing for my life.
And it was about singing. I don't even know if
I had money half at the times, you know, I
was spending so much money. I was just living frivolous
and young and ignorant and ghetto and dumb, and that
decisions young, dumb, frivolous and and insecure just so really
(13:41):
not free then, no, just just in trapped with the
bondage of stupidity. So I didn't I wasn't like, oh God,
I gotta be the hottest puffles, like yo, you gotta
be a like puffles. I was like, yo, yo, Puppic
is always driven by success. He'd say, We've seen him
say that moment, and he helped me. He helped me
to have some of that like some drive. You know,
(14:02):
I wasn't lazy. I just didn't care about what everybody
else cared about, Like I gotta be the hottest person.
I just was. I just was. And I didn't even
know what I had built or who I was, Like
what I what? What I I gotta say what land
I had opened and who I had become until later
like oh ship, Like I was young and how was that?
(14:25):
And that? So it wasn't like I gotta have it,
I just it was. It came with the job. I
had to have a hairstyle, I had to have so
I did you know what I'm saying. So it was
like I was moving. I didn't know I was like
it wasn't you know, it was none of it was.
It was just I was just moving. What do you
(14:46):
think is like when you look at your life, you
look at your career and in the theme of like
you know, our time here is limited. What do you
like most proud about from out of your life? This
life right here is just finding myself. Just this freedom,
this this relaxation. That's not feeling stressed, this is not
(15:08):
feeling impressed. This is what I'm most proud of. I'm
I'm proud of marry. I'm proud of myself because I've
been through hell and some horrible things and that feeling
that I had of inadequacy, not never being enough, not
feeling like it's gone. I am enough, you know, and
(15:31):
I have to keep working on it because I was
in it so much. It was it was it was
so much self hatred. And then the self hatred was
so bad it had people hate me more than I
hated myself. So this right here is what I'm most proud.
I'm most proud of this growth. Yeah, I get that.
That's good. That's a that's a good place. Yeah, I'm good.
(15:53):
And it's worked. Like I said, every single day. You know,
therapy is not It ain't there's nothing wrong with that.
You gotta keep working and keep working. I love therapy. Listen.
I started like a couple of weeks ago, like a
month ago. I was like, when I'm talking again, she's
dope to listen. It's about growth, Yes, It's about growth,
(16:14):
is about evolutions, about getting to know yourself better and
all that. I'm full for that. Do you ever think
about death sometimes? Yeah? And what is that doing? Like?
How does that let me. I had to do my
my life insurance like me, you know, I didn't get
my finally your will and yeah, all that stuff. And
(16:36):
he was asking me all these questions and when you
want to bury you all that stuff. I was like,
she's let me, let me deal with that. Let me
face that head on, because I was I was always afraid,
you know, of of dying, you know, like like a
death like later in my life. When I was young,
I was like, you know, risk it all, jump off
the bridge or whatever. But when I got older, I
(16:59):
was I'm afraid, you know, of die. I'm afraid of
how I'm a die and all that stuff. And then
I had to do that. And then it was like,
let me face this ship head on, because these questions
are crazy. These questions are you know, we want to
who do you want to be the person that's responsible?
You know? Do you want to donate your organs? And
Jesus So, No, it's real, It's very real. It's the
(17:23):
realest thing to talk about ever because it happens to
everybody and we never talked about it, and then we're
not prepared for it. We're not preparing when to heaven.
The other people were not prepared as we get older
in life, and then so we don't ever like you said,
let me look at it head on most of our lives.
We don't. Most of our lives, we look away. We
do our best to look away from that. That's what
we That's what That's what I've been doing on damn
(17:44):
it all my life, looking away and not looking at
what it really is. And that's when you get on
all that trouble with people because you see all the stuff,
but then you turn away. You see the sign, you
see the red flags, and then you turn away because
you want what you want by any means necessary. You know,
I get that. So what happens when you're answering those
questions and you decide, let me look at this. What happens?
(18:07):
Like what you how do you feel there's a change,
how you feel about it? Does it? It gives you? It? Empowered?
I think it's empowering. It makes you strong and like, okay, um,
I'm an adult, I'm grown, I'm growing up. This is
something I'm moving past. Because that was that's a big thing.
That's a life insurance And did all that too and
(18:30):
freaked me out for a second to but also losing
people like we we've lost a lot of people in it.
That always chifts you a little bit. And then when
we first lose somebody, it's always like, can I live
your life to the fullest? Yeah, you know, you say
that for a week life is short. We gotta blah
blah blah, And then you say that for two weeks
and then we go back to living the same way
we always live. So then I had that thought of like, well,
(18:53):
if we have that notion of life is short when
somebody dies, can we live our whole life knowing that
living life like life is short? If we can live
every day knowing that the ship is not tomorrow is
not promised, but not only when something bad happens to somebody,
like every day we wake up every day with that
understanding of like life is short. Then does it change
(19:16):
how you operate? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I
think I think it it does. But when you say
life is short and you gotta live everything you know
you can. You can be reckless with it, or you
can live your life with value, like for yourself, that's
what we're doing. Life is short, so you do have
to take care of you. And if you take care
of you. It's it's long, you know what I'm saying.
(19:40):
But if you live in life is short. Let me
just do all the drugs, let me just do everything wrong. Yeah,
that's you know, this is when you become an adult.
Like we're adults now, so we can and it makes
you appreciate to me when you think about it that way,
It's not doesn't make me want to go be reckless.
It makes me want to be mindful at present and grateful.
Like if I'm having a great day, if we out
(20:02):
we with our girlfriends, and what was me the other day?
We're not girlfriend's house watching the one of these oscar
that's a whole other conversation. We're watching the oscars. But
I was at a great time and that I don't
really need much more than that in life, like me too.
That's where I am, you know, that's where I am.
Like I'm if it's not fun, I don't do it.
If I if I don't think I'm gonna have fun,
(20:23):
I'm not outside. But if it was with my friends,
it's a good time. I know what it's going to
be already. Yeah you go outside, Yes, Yeah, I'm really
happy to be at that place in my life where
I don't I don't miss that. I feel like for
a lot of years I missed it. A lot of
years I was chasing it, running and running and trying
to do things, and I miss so many great things
that were happening because I wasn't. I didn't just be like, yo,
(20:46):
this is really dope. This is really dope. That's a
great way to live every day, like right, like this moment, right,
this is great, Like I mean, I couldn't be my
person too much. Please, this is a phenomenal. This is this.
Look at where we are we look Angie, look at
Don't tell me, please look look at Remember me when
(21:09):
you first met me. This is not the same person,
you know what I'm saying. Like you was always strong.
You was always what to me, he was always my
strong sister. Like you was like a rock, and I
was like, gosh, I need her because I wasn't that,
you know. But what was amazing to me was to
find out that you had wasn't you know it's strong
(21:32):
to you that you thought said yeah strong, not so
that this is a blessing to have come full circle.
And I don't feel that need to act strong all
the time anymore. And I used to be like that, right.
I was a strong friend, so I would always be like,
(21:54):
I gotta be strong, but that if I don't feel it,
I want to be able to say that. And it's cool.
Who cares? Like what is that? Does it? And I
love that? Yeah? I love that you're that now. I
love that because I was like, why she's so hard?
Why she mote? That's what we're hit for because I'll
be comingy like, oh god, oh this happened, Andrew, this happened,
(22:15):
crying and ship and and and you'd like you, I,
you just gotta do that. You gotta do that. So
I'm like, what you need? Why I need? I need
a hug, I need some I need sympathy. I need
you to be on my team right now. You get
on my level. Get on my level right now, Get
on my level. Man. I don't feel the need to
(22:37):
do that at all anymore. You feel that, like I
feel like we can. Yeah, And I'm so grateful for that.
That's that's what'll be here for. I love you need
that for sure. I don't set your ass down. Let
me tell you something. Yeah, I thought I had it
all figured out. My glasses quickie. I had my glasses
been quickie. Oh I did it that? Okay, So first
(23:02):
of all, I just want to finish that, I thought,
because I think maybe this will happen again in life. Right,
So I used to think I would say maybe like
five years ago, I thought, I I got ship figured out,
I know all the things that I need to know.
I'm gonna share with the world. I'm gonna do a
talk show. I'm gonna let the world. I'm gonna inspire
people with true stories. And then I got and then
(23:24):
God sat my heads down and was like, which, you
don't really know everything. You don't got it all together.
You need to solving up. You need to be in
the moment all the lessons I needed to learn to
get me to where I am now, which is like
a to me, a better version than of who I
was five ten years ago. And so I hope five
years from now I'll be an even better version. Do
(23:44):
you believe that yoursel I think we could just keep
elevating it. But we But but we keep elevating when
we keep going through the pain of transition, like of change,
like there's going to be something to shift you into
the next thing higher. When you don't go higher, you
don't move. Nothing just feels like one thing. But when
(24:07):
you get ready to shift that that pain, some kind
of trial is coming to that you have to feel
to get through. And what about age? Do you think that?
Do you you attribute that some of that to just
age and growing and us being older and wiser, and
or you think experience more than age. I think experience,
(24:29):
because if you don't have experience, you can't grow. I
don't care how it. Definitely are older people that have
not evolved do that. Yeah? Yeah, I just wonder why,
as young, why we fear age so much? And I
don't know if it's like fear of death or just
fear of changing how we look like what is the
(24:51):
fear of age that? I guess some being afraid let
me see, right, what is that? I don't know what
are we afraid of that? Oh? I know what it is?
And and in our industry of what people think, how
they just toss you to the Okay, she's old, she's
(25:15):
washed up forgetting this, just to get that, forget that,
so right, But yeah, but I become like I'm not
even gonna give a fun you like me, lump me? Yeah,
I'm I'm I'm fifty I'm fifty one, and and you
can buy my music, play it or not, because I
have a fan base. And you've got to just be
(25:35):
content with that, with content with what you have and
that and that keeps you growing, and that keeps the whole.
Now that that keeps the youth looking at you as
an inspiration. And that's when you become an inspiration when
you can just relax and be content and your thing
and then they still worse is when somebody's fighting it
so hard that they're not comfortable in their own skin.
(25:57):
That's it's nothing for any age. But if you're fighting
your truth who you are, where you are in like
like just no age that it's ever flied at at
any age, right, and it's it's it's it's hard for
some people because everybody has a different journey, Like everybody
don't have the wisdom that you have or gone through
well or wanted to go through what we went through,
(26:21):
or the pain of change, you know, the paint a changed. Yeah,
that feels like a song title. It is it's coming soon.
Do you have a bucket list? Is there something you
want to do while you're here on this earth? Anything?
Left because you've done a lot of ship. Well, I
(26:44):
definitely don't want to ever jump out of a plane. So,
by the way, I don't want never nothing really, not really,
I think what an amazing thing to be able to say.
I mean, I'm for whatevery shoe I could buy what
I'm saying. There's no bucket lesson. I mean, the thing
(27:04):
you want to do before we're not here anymore, I
don't know, I can't. I can't answer that right now
if you had to say one thing about what your
purpose is, because it's probably changed. Like I used to
think my purpose was one thing, and I don't think
it probably involved and it may continue to evolve. But
right now today, what do you think your purpose is
(27:27):
for being here? Wow? The first thing came to my
mind is example, Just be an example, Just be and
you know, and let that be, just just be. Yeah,
let that be and let that be enough. That is enough.
Who who's giving you the best life advice ever? I
(27:48):
know you probably had so many because you know a
lot of great people. People love you so but the
first thing that comes to you, the first thing, and
I always say this, Shota con really say, get out
your own way. So I was like, what does that mean?
What does it mean? When I was younger, I was like,
what does that mean? Stop being your worst enemy? M hm,
(28:11):
you know vocally, um business wise, like stop being afraid
of you. Move, move scared Mary, so Mary can get
through here. That's that's how I took it. Now it
might for you know, people who have different ways day,
you know, comprehend things. But for me, it was like,
(28:37):
stop being afraid of you. Yeah, Shoka the shock. Depending
on what day you get her, she could be she
was nice, she's always nice, but she's ficy, she be
super fighty. So there's this quote from Steve Jobs. Well,
(28:58):
he wrote it in first person till he asked him
himself this all the time. If today were the last
day of my life, what I want to do? What
I'm about to do today? He would ask him something
every day. No, m so what would you have done today?
If today was the last day I would be home?
You wouldn't be here with me. I knew, if I
(29:21):
knew this was it, I'm home praying, I'd be home quiet.
Just get myself center, get my spirit center so we
can transition the hell with all this, this is nothing.
I feel you there's no cameras, there's nobody watching. It's
you and God and God and getting ready to you know,
(29:44):
spirit man transition. Do you have something that you believe?
What do you believe happens when we're not here anymore?
I have no idea. I never thought about it. I
thought this. I was watching this song making sure this
documentary on these aliens. Right, we talked about scared the
(30:06):
ship out of me. I had the lights on in
the daytime after we went off, and they were something
out the reptilians and the light beings and the grays
and the other something else. I said, are we the
light beings? Because I was I would we are light
when we lead lead his body. So I just think
(30:27):
of it as we are light and we have this
one big light all over the world that when we
start leaving our bodies, we we light be brighten up
the world. But where we're spirit people. So imagine us
doing that as spirit people, like lifting ourselves up spiritually
and then everybody becoming this big light. And that's what
(30:47):
we're doing right now. We're being a big light to
somebody at home, I hope. So, yeah, that's that's the
intention for sure. Yeah, that's how I see. That's that's
how I see. So you see yourself right here in
present time, in in life doing that, and you see
that for yourself. Yeah, I think we take it with us.
(31:08):
I think whatever we are goes with us. So this
is why we gotta get get it right now, because
this is nothing but that thing that we building up
every day to have a good Day's got to be
right to go to the right thing. You know. I
don't know what what the other world is, but you
wanted to be the right thing, right you do? You
(31:29):
want to go to Hawaii and live on the beach.
What are you? You know saying? What's in your head?
I don't know. You have to think about that. You
have something I have to I'm not gonna tell everybody
what I want to go because the panties and the
broad's leaving on. I hope I have many many years
(31:52):
with you and then to and I love you so much.
You will I'm not going anywhere. I love you. This
is great. That was good, right, Yes, it was so good.
It's always always are. You're so amazing at this than
you We're gonna be here, we do Oh man, the
people were don't even Edie always getting flowers from me.
(32:17):
When I first met you at the radio station, you
like women, was always funny with me, you know, And
when I met you, I was like, I love her.
I never know women are always be on some whatever
that was then, you know, now I can handle it better.
But you was just on my team, and I was like,
she's so pretty and and and me and all that
(32:38):
ship at the same time Vein. I was like, look
at her vein and her eyebrow sucking dog me. But
she was so nice to me and we had my
back and you, immediately you look like he was ready
to everybody up for me. That's my friend, and looking
looking where we looking. I'm very grateful for that, but
(32:59):
the way I'm very grateful for that. H
Andre Martinez in Real Life Podcast Chapter one. We're all
gonna die? Are we starting? We're rolling? We on? How's
my hair? Is my hair cute? How's my Nicole? I'm okay,
Well I'm just a mess. How am I Brittany? Thank you? Sure?
Because she'll blame you if she doesn't. I'm good, alright, alright, good.
(00:21):
So my sister is my guest on my podcast today,
which could be good or bad, right because it's done
nothing bad? Nothing bad? Could ever know your glass? Can
you slay my glasses for me again? Please? Thanks? Why
do you do this to your glass? I'm gonna tell
you how. Um, when I'm watching TV, I'll lay down
(00:41):
and I lay down with my glasses and that's how
they end up being bad all right right now because
I need my glasses to see Hi boo, Hi Andie?
Can we go again? That's why I love you. You
know that everybody in the whole world knows I love you.
Sometimes when you have a friend that you're interviewing, it'd
be weird because I know so much things. I don't
(01:03):
want to say anything that is off. I'd been like,
does everybody know that? Do I just know that? But
lately I find you have been very open in general.
Sometimes I see you in then interview and I'm like, oh,
she told them that, Oh she said that publicly. Is
that a conscious thing or is that something that has
just happened to you. I think it's like I have
(01:24):
a lot of things I don't need to hide because
people want to know. You know, how am I sustaining? How?
You know? How is this possible? You know? So there's
a lot of things that I don't mind sharing to
show them the steps, you know, it wasn't easy, and
this is one of the reasons why, you know. So
it's like it's think things I don't want people to know.
(01:44):
Trust me, they don't know. They will never know. Never
I don't care what they think. They know, they will
never know. The ship that I don't know? Why is that?
Is that? Is that just it's just too private, it's embarrassing,
or it's just something that you need. It's like it's
like a piece of clothes and aware, you know, you
need that protection, You need some covering somewhere. You just
can't be running around naked, you know, And I think
(02:06):
I've been, You've been running around with my prama underwear on.
I want to rip off my prama underwear. So I
need those things, please keep so so just to be
those things I would not reveal, you know. Yeah, Well,
so the reason I wanted to do this podcast. There's
a couple of things. And as my friend, you know
this about me, how much I have changed over the
(02:28):
past couple of years due to experience, due to work,
the world, the world changing my own personal experience. And
also we're getting older and we're and we're like, we've
seen a lot and we've lived a lot and done
a lot. And I also feel like during COVID everybody
had to like look at their life in a different way.
Did you how did that change? Like? What did you like?
(02:52):
I actually went deeper with the self love. You know,
I started finding myself during you know, the marriage in
the darkness and all of that stuff. But once I
was out of the marriage, I was so angry because
of the divorce and the alimony, and I was angry
for a long time. And um, once I got over
to anger, I started going in and and and loving
(03:16):
on a child, loving her a little Mary, spending more
time with her, letting her be a kid, letting her
run out in the backyard. You know, drink whatever, eat
whatever she wants to eat. And during the pandemic, that's
what I did. I was buying myself a lot um
in my backyard. I drank a lot of wine. I
had this whole thing. I was having full conversation, so
(03:38):
full conversations with myself and um, I just learned to
just really get into the deep inner love for myself.
That's and that's been making me happy, like just just freedom.
Like I saw a picture myself last night from this
event I was having and I was stretched out like that.
I was like, oh, shoot, I'm happy her. She I
(04:00):
love that finally, you know, because I know the steps
to continue because it's a you have to continue to
do the work. It's not like one day be here
just happy every day. Yeah, it doesn't work like that.
So that's what that's that's where I'm magic loving on Mary.
And I hate to sound selfish, but I am right now. Yes,
I've just had this conversation with Brittany in the car today.
(04:22):
Because Brittany is in her twenties. She's my assistant who
she's a producer on this podcast. And I remember in
my twenties, I was you know, I was raised to think,
but we gotta be kind to everyone. We gotta think
about everybody else, we gotta do it was always or
even my own career. It's like I wanted to inspire people.
I wanted to everything was like outward going for other people,
(04:43):
do things for other people, and I thought that that
made me a good person, or being empathetic to people
all the time. I thought that made me a good person.
And it might have. But you get to a point
where you're like, I only got a limited time on
this earth. How much of that am I willing to
give away to everyone else instead of just waking up
and doing what I want to do selfishly for myself.
(05:06):
And I was like, maybe that sounds selfish to me,
but that's kind of where I am and I'm okay
with that, and I've been very mindful of it. This
whole reason this podcast happened. I've been very mindful to
the fact that we are here for a limited amount
of time. Just that thought alone. If you wake up everything,
if you wake up every dingy and be like, I'm
only have a limited amount of time, That's where I'm at.
(05:29):
So where do you what do you do with that? Like,
how do you live your life differently. Once you have
that realization, you take care of you life is important.
It's it's the most amazing, precious gift we're ever gonna
get ourselves. And if we don't treat it like that,
we can lose our lives. You know, we can spiritually
lose our lives. We can just be walking dead when
(05:50):
we just don't take care of our lives. You understand
what I'm saying, no to, Yeah, but tell me, tell
me I do kind of But okay, spirit really dead?
Meaning like you you know, you have been in the
bad room. You've never been in a bad relationship? Are
you cry what you're talking to? So you're in something
(06:11):
that no longer it's healthy for you. It's not doing
anything for you mentally, spiritually, physically, financially. Are you walking
dead and you're a walking dead? You're just sitting through
it for what? So you don't want to end up?
So we know what that feels like. So we don't
not not want to end up like that ever again.
And that's the work that we're doing to keep from
(06:31):
doing that again, to not be the walking dead either
walking dead, We want to walking living, walking living walking
best version of ourselves at all time. And there's so
many people in the world that are doing that and
don't even know they're doing They're just miserable and going
through the motions of not getting anything, just bullshit, getting
(06:52):
nothing in return, and chasing, chasing nothing, waiting for nothing.
I've been there too, you know, And and that was
just time to want more, want something now? Want what
do you want? Love? Love? But love for me? First?
I found that love, the love for Mary. I found it,
(07:13):
and I would suck anybody up to try to take
it away from because it's so real and it's so good,
and I work for and I earned it and I
have to keep working on it every single day. And
it's a job. It's a real job, and it and
it hurts, Like I'm so proud of you because I
know when you're when you come to And it's not
(07:33):
a small thing when you say that. Some people think
it's just a sound bite or something like you've learned
how to love yourself, But it's a real it's a
real deal. My life is my my baby. You don't
always feel like that, obviously, No, I hated my life.
I didn't know why. I just hated myself. Hated my life,
hated the way I look hate it, but the way
I spoke. I hate a sound of my voice and
(07:55):
be like, ah, that's how that's me. Now, I's like
I need to hear that again, Like it's it's just
some miracle. It's some miracle kind of intoence. And I'm
by myself a lot of you having dates to ship
with myself, Like we're going on the dates and we're going,
got you, but got you? But we we you know,
youveen splurge, hanging out, you can buying, We're going, we're
buying the biggest chain. We could buy Oldies boots this week. Oh,
(08:20):
like it's it's just it's dope. You know. I've never
been like this. I used to be shell shocked, scared, scared, scared.
I'm scared of myself. That's what we That's what we're scared.
We're scared of ourselves. It don't be people to be
the power. Oh ship, afraid of the power, Afraid of
my own power. You know that's the case, right, Yes,
they do. They do. The other thing that I think
(08:42):
that we do. I had talked to a couple of
people about this is especially people have been successful in
their careers. Like spend a lot of our lives, a
lot of a lot of our lives chasing something. It's
like chasing success, chasing money, chasing to get out of
the bad situation. Like do you still feel that, do
(09:05):
you still feel that energy that are you chasing something? Still?
Nothing really, not a dollar, not a person, not you know.
Love is tricky because you can end up chasing and
not know you're chasing until you were, like, whoa, I
got that feeling again, that nasty feeling of I think
(09:28):
I'm gonna lose something that you've never had. You feel
like you might lose the exactly so I have I'm
not chasing nothing. And it's like when you're not chasing,
everything just falls in your lap, everything just coming from
here from here. So I'm not chasing success because that
I got. I am what I am, who I am
for the rest of my life. So I don't need
(09:49):
to be running after a dollar or running in to
do a show, or trying to be seen the most.
I'm whatever. So it's not a good feeling, it's great.
I felt so good. I'm just oh man, ship, I
love that for you. I do. I sometimes have to
check myself I think I definitely have slowed the chase down.
(10:10):
I think that has been the most uncomfortable transition for
me because I was always chasing to be inspired, to
be on the next thing, to reinvent, to um, just
stay relevant, you know, chasing that type of ship, right,
And it took and it took God to sit me
(10:30):
down for a little while for me to be like
uncomfortable and can't chase nothing, to be like, okay, I
think I'm good, and then and then it turned to like,
I actually think I like not chasing ship and just
kind of being and being in the moment and appreciated
life and going to sit with my girlfriend and have
(10:50):
some drinks. And do you not that when you get
in that place in your life, you look at yourself
and you look, I'm amazing to yourself, like you look
so boss, like whatever that you look so good your
boss now your boss because nothing of you. But we
(11:12):
weren't boss because everything had control of us. So we
always had this look of and didn't know it. But
now we're just like, okay, all right, cool, you come in.
You're going so like for real And that takes work too.
You know, what do you think that the biggest control
of you. I don't want to say it. I have
(11:34):
an idea of two things that came right, don't you
fucking say it. You know exactly what I was gonna say. Exactly.
Y'all probably could get the two things that I was thinking. Man,
and those things That's why I says it's not easy
(11:56):
because those things are hard. You know what I'm say.
People are hard. People can have control over you, you know,
wanting to be loved, wanting to be picked. So you
think love and that type of stuff have more control
of you than you chasing your career or your passion
because you I mean you you made Mary J. Blige.
(12:17):
That's not a small thing wanting to be loved. But
so you you were never chasing because you are serious
about your career. Didn't just happen. It wasn't by accident
that you became this household name, like you have to
put work into that. So but do you ever feel
like you were chasing that at any point or like
(12:38):
I didn't start chasing or until I got married and
things were just turned into ship and then it was like, Okay,
I gotta figure out a way to get us out
of this shiphole. We in financially financially then I started
being like then, But from to then, I didn't even
know if I was coming to go. When I was
(12:58):
singing for my life, I was, y'all know, I didn't
care what I was doing. I was. It wasn't about it,
you never or just even success. No really, because when
I when I when I got signed, I signed my
contract when a washing machine in the projects, like, it
was like, we're getting out of here, and the only
(13:19):
thing to do was just keep singing for my life.
And it was about singing. I don't even know if
I had money half at the times, you know, I
was spending so much money. I was just living frivolous
and young and ignorant and ghetto and dumb, and that
decisions young, dumb, frivolous and and insecure just so really
(13:41):
not free then, no, just just in trapped with the
bondage of stupidity. So I didn't I wasn't like, oh God,
I gotta be the hottest puffles, like yo, you gotta
be a like puffles. I was like, yo, yo, Puppic
is always driven by success. He'd say, We've seen him
say that moment, and he helped me. He helped me
to have some of that like some drive. You know,
(14:02):
I wasn't lazy. I just didn't care about what everybody
else cared about, Like I gotta be the hottest person.
I just was. I just was. And I didn't even
know what I had built or who I was, Like
what I what? What I I gotta say what land
I had opened and who I had become until later
like oh ship, Like I was young and how was that?
(14:25):
And that? So it wasn't like I gotta have it,
I just it was. It came with the job. I
had to have a hairstyle, I had to have so
I did you know what I'm saying. So it was
like I was moving. I didn't know I was like
it wasn't you know, it was none of it was.
It was just I was just moving. What do you
(14:46):
think is like when you look at your life, you
look at your career and in the theme of like
you know, our time here is limited. What do you
like most proud about from out of your life? This
life right here is just finding myself. Just this freedom,
this this relaxation. That's not feeling stressed, this is not
(15:08):
feeling impressed. This is what I'm most proud of. I'm
I'm proud of marry. I'm proud of myself because I've
been through hell and some horrible things and that feeling
that I had of inadequacy, not never being enough, not
feeling like it's gone. I am enough, you know, and
(15:31):
I have to keep working on it because I was
in it so much. It was it was it was
so much self hatred. And then the self hatred was
so bad it had people hate me more than I
hated myself. So this right here is what I'm most proud.
I'm most proud of this growth. Yeah, I get that.
That's good. That's a that's a good place. Yeah, I'm good.
(15:53):
And it's worked. Like I said, every single day. You know,
therapy is not It ain't there's nothing wrong with that.
You gotta keep working and keep working. I love therapy. Listen.
I started like a couple of weeks ago, like a
month ago. I was like, when I'm talking again, she's
dope to listen. It's about growth, Yes, It's about growth,
(16:14):
is about evolutions, about getting to know yourself better and
all that. I'm full for that. Do you ever think
about death sometimes? Yeah? And what is that doing? Like?
How does that let me. I had to do my
my life insurance like me, you know, I didn't get
my finally your will and yeah, all that stuff. And
(16:36):
he was asking me all these questions and when you
want to bury you all that stuff. I was like,
she's let me, let me deal with that. Let me
face that head on, because I was I was always afraid,
you know, of of dying, you know, like like a
death like later in my life. When I was young,
I was like, you know, risk it all, jump off
the bridge or whatever. But when I got older, I
(16:59):
was I'm afraid, you know, of die. I'm afraid of
how I'm a die and all that stuff. And then
I had to do that. And then it was like,
let me face this ship head on, because these questions
are crazy. These questions are you know, we want to
who do you want to be the person that's responsible?
You know? Do you want to donate your organs? And
Jesus So, No, it's real, It's very real. It's the
(17:23):
realest thing to talk about ever because it happens to
everybody and we never talked about it, and then we're
not prepared for it. We're not preparing when to heaven.
The other people were not prepared as we get older
in life, and then so we don't ever like you said,
let me look at it head on most of our lives.
We don't. Most of our lives, we look away. We
do our best to look away from that. That's what
we That's what That's what I've been doing on damn
(17:44):
it all my life, looking away and not looking at
what it really is. And that's when you get on
all that trouble with people because you see all the stuff,
but then you turn away. You see the sign, you
see the red flags, and then you turn away because
you want what you want by any means necessary. You know,
I get that. So what happens when you're answering those
questions and you decide, let me look at this. What happens?
(18:07):
Like what you how do you feel there's a change,
how you feel about it? Does it? It gives you? It? Empowered?
I think it's empowering. It makes you strong and like, okay, um,
I'm an adult, I'm grown, I'm growing up. This is
something I'm moving past. Because that was that's a big thing.
That's a life insurance And did all that too and
(18:30):
freaked me out for a second to but also losing
people like we we've lost a lot of people in it.
That always chifts you a little bit. And then when
we first lose somebody, it's always like, can I live
your life to the fullest? Yeah, you know, you say
that for a week life is short. We gotta blah
blah blah, And then you say that for two weeks
and then we go back to living the same way
we always live. So then I had that thought of like, well,
(18:53):
if we have that notion of life is short when
somebody dies, can we live our whole life knowing that
living life like life is short? If we can live
every day knowing that the ship is not tomorrow is
not promised, but not only when something bad happens to somebody,
like every day we wake up every day with that
understanding of like life is short. Then does it change
(19:16):
how you operate? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I
think I think it it does. But when you say
life is short and you gotta live everything you know
you can. You can be reckless with it, or you
can live your life with value, like for yourself, that's
what we're doing. Life is short, so you do have
to take care of you. And if you take care
of you. It's it's long, you know what I'm saying.
(19:40):
But if you live in life is short. Let me
just do all the drugs, let me just do everything wrong. Yeah,
that's you know, this is when you become an adult.
Like we're adults now, so we can and it makes
you appreciate to me when you think about it that way,
It's not doesn't make me want to go be reckless.
It makes me want to be mindful at present and grateful.
Like if I'm having a great day, if we out
(20:02):
we with our girlfriends, and what was me the other day?
We're not girlfriend's house watching the one of these oscar
that's a whole other conversation. We're watching the oscars. But
I was at a great time and that I don't
really need much more than that in life, like me too.
That's where I am, you know, that's where I am.
Like I'm if it's not fun, I don't do it.
If I if I don't think I'm gonna have fun,
(20:23):
I'm not outside. But if it was with my friends,
it's a good time. I know what it's going to
be already. Yeah you go outside, Yes, Yeah, I'm really
happy to be at that place in my life where
I don't I don't miss that. I feel like for
a lot of years I missed it. A lot of
years I was chasing it, running and running and trying
to do things, and I miss so many great things
that were happening because I wasn't. I didn't just be like, yo,
(20:46):
this is really dope. This is really dope. That's a
great way to live every day, like right, like this moment, right,
this is great, Like I mean, I couldn't be my
person too much. Please, this is a phenomenal. This is this.
Look at where we are we look Angie, look at
Don't tell me, please look look at Remember me when
(21:09):
you first met me. This is not the same person,
you know what I'm saying. Like you was always strong.
You was always what to me, he was always my
strong sister. Like you was like a rock, and I
was like, gosh, I need her because I wasn't that,
you know. But what was amazing to me was to
find out that you had wasn't you know it's strong
(21:32):
to you that you thought said yeah strong, not so
that this is a blessing to have come full circle.
And I don't feel that need to act strong all
the time anymore. And I used to be like that, right.
I was a strong friend, so I would always be like,
(21:54):
I gotta be strong, but that if I don't feel it,
I want to be able to say that. And it's cool.
Who cares? Like what is that? Does it? And I
love that? Yeah? I love that you're that now. I
love that because I was like, why she's so hard?
Why she mote? That's what we're hit for because I'll
be comingy like, oh god, oh this happened, Andrew, this happened,
(22:15):
crying and ship and and and you'd like you, I,
you just gotta do that. You gotta do that. So
I'm like, what you need? Why I need? I need
a hug, I need some I need sympathy. I need
you to be on my team right now. You get
on my level. Get on my level right now, Get
on my level. Man. I don't feel the need to
(22:37):
do that at all anymore. You feel that, like I
feel like we can. Yeah, And I'm so grateful for that.
That's that's what'll be here for. I love you need
that for sure. I don't set your ass down. Let
me tell you something. Yeah, I thought I had it
all figured out. My glasses quickie. I had my glasses
been quickie. Oh I did it that? Okay, So first
(23:02):
of all, I just want to finish that, I thought,
because I think maybe this will happen again in life. Right,
So I used to think I would say maybe like
five years ago, I thought, I I got ship figured out,
I know all the things that I need to know.
I'm gonna share with the world. I'm gonna do a
talk show. I'm gonna let the world. I'm gonna inspire
people with true stories. And then I got and then
(23:24):
God sat my heads down and was like, which, you
don't really know everything. You don't got it all together.
You need to solving up. You need to be in
the moment all the lessons I needed to learn to
get me to where I am now, which is like
a to me, a better version than of who I
was five ten years ago. And so I hope five
years from now I'll be an even better version. Do
(23:44):
you believe that yoursel I think we could just keep
elevating it. But we But but we keep elevating when
we keep going through the pain of transition, like of change,
like there's going to be something to shift you into
the next thing higher. When you don't go higher, you
don't move. Nothing just feels like one thing. But when
(24:07):
you get ready to shift that that pain, some kind
of trial is coming to that you have to feel
to get through. And what about age? Do you think that?
Do you you attribute that some of that to just
age and growing and us being older and wiser, and
or you think experience more than age. I think experience,
(24:29):
because if you don't have experience, you can't grow. I
don't care how it. Definitely are older people that have
not evolved do that. Yeah? Yeah, I just wonder why,
as young, why we fear age so much? And I
don't know if it's like fear of death or just
fear of changing how we look like what is the
(24:51):
fear of age that? I guess some being afraid let
me see, right, what is that? I don't know what
are we afraid of that? Oh? I know what it is?
And and in our industry of what people think, how
they just toss you to the Okay, she's old, she's
(25:15):
washed up forgetting this, just to get that, forget that,
so right, But yeah, but I become like I'm not
even gonna give a fun you like me, lump me? Yeah,
I'm I'm I'm fifty I'm fifty one, and and you
can buy my music, play it or not, because I
have a fan base. And you've got to just be
(25:35):
content with that, with content with what you have and
that and that keeps you growing, and that keeps the whole.
Now that that keeps the youth looking at you as
an inspiration. And that's when you become an inspiration when
you can just relax and be content and your thing
and then they still worse is when somebody's fighting it
so hard that they're not comfortable in their own skin.
(25:57):
That's it's nothing for any age. But if you're fighting
your truth who you are, where you are in like
like just no age that it's ever flied at at
any age, right, and it's it's it's it's hard for
some people because everybody has a different journey, Like everybody
don't have the wisdom that you have or gone through
well or wanted to go through what we went through,
(26:21):
or the pain of change, you know, the paint a changed. Yeah,
that feels like a song title. It is it's coming soon.
Do you have a bucket list? Is there something you
want to do while you're here on this earth? Anything?
Left because you've done a lot of ship. Well, I
(26:44):
definitely don't want to ever jump out of a plane. So,
by the way, I don't want never nothing really, not really,
I think what an amazing thing to be able to say.
I mean, I'm for whatevery shoe I could buy what
I'm saying. There's no bucket lesson. I mean, the thing
(27:04):
you want to do before we're not here anymore, I
don't know, I can't. I can't answer that right now
if you had to say one thing about what your
purpose is, because it's probably changed. Like I used to
think my purpose was one thing, and I don't think
it probably involved and it may continue to evolve. But
right now today, what do you think your purpose is
(27:27):
for being here? Wow? The first thing came to my
mind is example, Just be an example, Just be and
you know, and let that be, just just be. Yeah,
let that be and let that be enough. That is enough.
Who who's giving you the best life advice ever? I
(27:48):
know you probably had so many because you know a
lot of great people. People love you so but the
first thing that comes to you, the first thing, and
I always say this, Shota con really say, get out
your own way. So I was like, what does that mean?
What does it mean? When I was younger, I was like,
what does that mean? Stop being your worst enemy? M hm,
(28:11):
you know vocally, um business wise, like stop being afraid
of you. Move, move scared Mary, so Mary can get
through here. That's that's how I took it. Now it
might for you know, people who have different ways day,
you know, comprehend things. But for me, it was like,
(28:37):
stop being afraid of you. Yeah, Shoka the shock. Depending
on what day you get her, she could be she
was nice, she's always nice, but she's ficy, she be
super fighty. So there's this quote from Steve Jobs. Well,
(28:58):
he wrote it in first person till he asked him
himself this all the time. If today were the last
day of my life, what I want to do? What
I'm about to do today? He would ask him something
every day. No, m so what would you have done today?
If today was the last day I would be home?
You wouldn't be here with me. I knew, if I
(29:21):
knew this was it, I'm home praying, I'd be home quiet.
Just get myself center, get my spirit center so we
can transition the hell with all this, this is nothing.
I feel you there's no cameras, there's nobody watching. It's
you and God and God and getting ready to you know,
(29:44):
spirit man transition. Do you have something that you believe?
What do you believe happens when we're not here anymore?
I have no idea. I never thought about it. I
thought this. I was watching this song making sure this
documentary on these aliens. Right, we talked about scared the
(30:06):
ship out of me. I had the lights on in
the daytime after we went off, and they were something
out the reptilians and the light beings and the grays
and the other something else. I said, are we the
light beings? Because I was I would we are light
when we lead lead his body. So I just think
(30:27):
of it as we are light and we have this
one big light all over the world that when we
start leaving our bodies, we we light be brighten up
the world. But where we're spirit people. So imagine us
doing that as spirit people, like lifting ourselves up spiritually
and then everybody becoming this big light. And that's what
(30:47):
we're doing right now. We're being a big light to
somebody at home, I hope. So, yeah, that's that's the
intention for sure. Yeah, that's how I see. That's that's
how I see. So you see yourself right here in
present time, in in life doing that, and you see
that for yourself. Yeah, I think we take it with us.
(31:08):
I think whatever we are goes with us. So this
is why we gotta get get it right now, because
this is nothing but that thing that we building up
every day to have a good Day's got to be
right to go to the right thing. You know. I
don't know what what the other world is, but you
wanted to be the right thing, right you do? You
(31:29):
want to go to Hawaii and live on the beach.
What are you? You know saying? What's in your head?
I don't know. You have to think about that. You
have something I have to I'm not gonna tell everybody
what I want to go because the panties and the
broad's leaving on. I hope I have many many years
(31:52):
with you and then to and I love you so much.
You will I'm not going anywhere. I love you. This
is great. That was good, right, Yes, it was so good.
It's always always are. You're so amazing at this than
you We're gonna be here, we do Oh man, the
people were don't even Edie always getting flowers from me.
(32:17):
When I first met you at the radio station, you
like women, was always funny with me, you know, And
when I met you, I was like, I love her.
I never know women are always be on some whatever
that was then, you know, now I can handle it better.
But you was just on my team, and I was like,
she's so pretty and and and me and all that
(32:38):
ship at the same time Vein. I was like, look
at her vein and her eyebrow sucking dog me. But
she was so nice to me and we had my
back and you, immediately you look like he was ready
to everybody up for me. That's my friend, and looking
looking where we looking. I'm very grateful for that, but
(32:59):
the way I'm very grateful for that. H
Host
Angie Martinez
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