November 2, 2022 • 55 mins
Something magical is happening in Vegas, and Angie made her way down there to check it out… in real life. On this week’s episode of The IRL Podcast, Usher joins us to celebrate his wildly successful Vegas residency, ATL’s impact on the culture, and his legendary status. This is a special time in his career AND his personal life, and Usher reveals how he finally found happiness.
Usher has always loved love, he was just bad at it, but he credits finally getting it right to being in the right relationship, learning to listen, and couples therapy. In this episode, he reveals a communication tip he learned that changed his life, shares his meditation routine, and dishes out lots of free treatment. It’s clear he put in all the work and feels all the benefits.
But that’s not it; he shares plans for future business with LA Reid and promises new music is on the way! This is an episode you won't want to miss……
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Andre Martinez in Real Life podcast. Do we I mean,
do we welcome him? For everybody? Now we appreciate him,
and now he feels loved. But grudgingly my crew they're like, yeah, whatever, whatever,
he made us work on Sunday. He made us work
on Sunday, ushers. Let me tell you something. I came
(00:24):
to Vegas to see your show on Friday and Saturday.
I've been working so high, so Saturday I was going
to do nothing. I was gonna catch up on emails
and do nothing, and then I was going to come
into you on Sunday. Originally I went to the show
on Saturday, and I was I knew it was gonna
be good. You're Russia, You're always good. But there's something
really magical happening out here, right, Like it's different level goods.
(00:45):
We're greater than every other person who came out here
to interview. I wanted you to have an entire weekend experience,
thank you. So we start on Friday, and then why
do I Friday for a Sunday interview? I think you
set me up for a whole weekend. Yeah, it's really magical,
but it is. It actually is magical, and not just
um in part, you know, you know, based off of
(01:08):
all of the hit records and the fact that we're
here just celebrating the years of music, celebrating twenty five
anniversary of My Way, but even some of the special
guests that come. Fat Joe came, the first stage, Joe
was here, it was was Donald Jones. Jones came, it
was Robin Thicke, Keep Sweat, and Teddy Riley. Yeah, so
I got like this this doughnut in the middle of
(01:28):
the show. It's like a special little moment for the
you know, the the the unknown to happen. Yeah you did.
I saw Chris Brown came. Yeah, it's like a moment
to give people their flowers also, but then also have
this like connection with them, with everybody and the world
specifically in Vegas, because it's supposed to be an accelerated
experience here, right. So for me, rather we've done records together,
(01:51):
or rather, um, we've just been friends for years, you know.
For me and Robin, we go back, you know, to
Confessions and the first time I ever met him, I
was just so intrigued by his talent. So we finally
got a chance to work together. It's like a smoothness
Jesus about him, you know what I'm saying. And then
(02:11):
he but over the years, just building a relationship. I
was like, yeah, there's no way possible. I'm gonna do
this onhe and not have you come out and just
share the love. And then the Face records right, all
of that. Yes, l A Read was in the house,
Mark Pitts was in the house. Danielle Jones, he would
La didn't see that show, but I was backstage talking
(02:32):
to Dan Ellen. I'm like, yo, dude, you realize how
important the face was for just the like the ground lane,
like we set the four plan for all of what
Atlanta is. That was plenty of people doing things, but
not quite as sophisticated as l A Reading baby Face
with the Face record, so being able to celebrate him.
(02:53):
I mean, if I could get everybody up here to
be great, but you know, we are the motown of
the South. So I was like, yeo, I want us
to be, you know, remembered, and I want the audience
in the world to be able to see and share
in that moment, rather they know the songs or whether
they now will go back and understand Oh wait a minute.
Usher used to he worked with Doniel Jones his first out.
Yeah he did. And that's kind of how Motown was, right,
(03:17):
they all helped each other rather they pitched him by
way of song or by way of you know, production,
or even choreography. Right, So you know that's a that's
a little bit of that. And I love that you
took so seriously the thought of like bringing Atlanta to
Vegas or without a question. Hey look, everybody else brings
that culture, you know what I'm saying. You got like
South American culture through you know, such Sola and all
(03:39):
of those incredible shows here and the strip teases. We
know what that is for the world, but you don't
know what it's like until you go to Atlanta, you
know what I mean. People want to know what it
feels like to make it rain. By by the way
it was, it was it was partially my mom's concept
and not just she was like, you gotta make it rain.
So I was like, okay, all right, we're gonna say
so to bring Atlanta's culture the same way that these
(04:03):
other theatrical shows do the same thing in Las Vegas.
I wanted it to be our culture, you know what
I'm saying. For me, I was like you know, I'm
an under promise and over delivered for this one one.
That's what my entire career has always been. And this
time I really get a chance to just celebrate and
do some things that I wanted to do. You know,
(04:23):
I want to try things that I've never tried before.
I want to celebrate culture in a way that you know,
preserves it and gives it a sophistication, in a way
that you know, for people who have never been to
a club like that, they know what it feels like,
who have heard the music, but they don't know the culture. Obviously,
we were, you know, inching up on the twenty five
you know, year anniversary from my way, So the celebration
(04:45):
of all those songs, it is a surprise for me
every night to go out there and here my original fans,
who something I met when they were eleven years old,
now adults with kids of their own. So this is
that moment to like kind of relive our child hood,
but also to get sophisticated. Come see something fly sexy,
eat something nice. Whether you come out here along by yourself,
(05:07):
you didn't leave alone, you know what I'm saying. Whither
you came out here with your significant other, just the girl.
The second night there was a girl was the first
night there was a girl sitting next to us, and
she was by herself. She looked gorgeous. She came, she
got dressed, and she got her seat and she just
sat there, had an amazing time. Yes, it's really beautiful
to look out there and see y'all, you know, all
those beautiful women. Man, it's like I'm outnumbered here. It's
(05:31):
like where the guys, you know what I'm saying. Where
it's like girls everywhere, And I'm like, it's cool, it's great,
it's great. But um, just to celebrate you know, in
many different you know mediums, not just the show, but
also to the memes and all the other things that
have happened as a result of like just getting back
to the basics. I think I tried for so long,
(05:52):
and you know, and every time I put out an
album there's some meaning or purpose behind it. I really,
you know, had you know, kind of been in this
in this you know analysis paralysis thing that is all
about trying to create the next moment the music. Right,
So for me, it was like, let's stop for two seconds,
let's not put out an album because I had been
(06:14):
putting out records here and there, and these songs were great.
I did a record with elm May you know a
couple of records dropped during the pandemic, and I was
just like, yeo, I just really want to go back
and celebrate the classic music for two seconds and enjoy
all of the years. I never get a chance to
do that because I'm always focused. That's what it is.
Because I was trying to put my finger on the
(06:35):
feeling of because this this this FEELM felt like a
victory lap. It feels like a you know, we all
we all come up and we're all chasing things that
we're all working so hard and trying to come up
with the next thing. And what you're saying, I create
and create it. But then you get to a point
in your career where you're like comfortable and you're enjoying them.
(06:57):
I feel like I watched you do that this show,
like you you just rocking your crown like comfortably. Well,
when you've been doing it as long as I have,
part of it is analyzing it being perfect, But when
you finally just stopped for two seconds and maybe look
at all of the things that you've done that's a
lot to celebrate, and no one man is an island.
(07:17):
You know these songs either. You know, we produced it
together with other producers and writers and the creators that
really helped me, you know, kind of curate the entire show.
I think we were mindful of all that. Even where
we're right now, like this whole immersive experience where you know,
you begin to understand the world of where it came from.
That wall over there and normally is like full of
(07:38):
footage and things for me when I was a kid,
you know, my first talent show, you know, nineteen ninety
one footage of me at Atlanta talent search in Atlanta,
you know, and then just going through our the entire process.
But yeah, I think I have kind of um had
the opportunity to to to to celebrate. I ain't resting,
(07:58):
but I'm really celebrating the past, the music, the history
that I've been able to create. Seem like having fun.
I'm having fun one because I'm I'm choosing to. The
second half is I'm happy. Actually, I've never really taking
the time to stop and really you know, be happy.
I feel like my relationships are in a really good place.
(08:20):
I feel like I'm learning how to communicate better. How
do you do that? How did you do that? What
do you what do you attribute all of this too? Um? Listening,
You can hear somebody, but are you really listening? You know,
when you when you slow down and you begin to
understand what's priority. Family is priority to me. Love, real
(08:44):
love is priority to me. And I've had enough difficult
situations in my life to now be able to assess
the people who are really there for some reason there's
an agenda, and then the people who really love me,
whom I should love and I should appreciate, and I
can take my time and enjoy and celebrate with some
of those people I'm working with on this show. Some
(09:05):
of these people I don't work with, but there with
me and we're able to just talk. Some people I've
worked with but we no longer worked together, but now
we can just enjoy our relationship. You know. UM, a
lot of therapy that I was wondering that sounds like
this therapy, And yeah, there is, and some people are
a bit it's a bit complicated for people who out
(09:26):
there who probably analyze, you know, allowing someone to sit
in and listen to your conversation and try to help
you here your partner or here you know, your family
member or here. Really what you're suffering is all about
And um, I think a lot of that has to
do with my happiness. I think a lot of um,
(09:47):
you know, my feeling is confident and is exciting, is
having great partnership. I got an amazing partner in life,
Jennifer Goycha. She asked if I wanted Puerto Rican food
before we started. Yeah, actually Puerto Rican food. And I
was like, and then I'm going to tell you this
to what I have. My glam comes to the hotel
(10:08):
before I came here, and I guess they must do
glam for the show. Also, Yeah, and they were saying
how much that gen takes care of everyone on the set, Like, yeah,
it just takes care of everybody. They just were gushing
about her, how much they loved her. I was happy
to know that you have somebody in your life that
is that loved by your you know, yeah, everybody, and
(10:29):
my mom will like her and love her too, and
that's great, said she liked her. He that's hard to
accomplish that to those two things, but something had to
change in you to be able to even be open
to that. You had to, You had to shift something right.
Sometimes you go through ship to get to ship. You
know what I'm saying, You go through something to get
to something in life. Um, good friend of mine D J. Rogers,
(10:54):
used to say this to me all the time. It's like, Yo,
there were no harmps in life, there'd be nothing to
get over. Like God, Man, it's hard now I get it.
You live long enough, you begin to understand and as
I said, prioritize what makes you know love lesson you
learned in terms of like, um, just correct self correction,
self correction, I think, I think loving yourself and forgiving yourself,
(11:17):
you know, for whatever you you know may have you know,
wanted to accomplish and didn't you know, whatever you may
have wanted to do and you didn't get you didn't
get a chance to do it, or whatever you wanted
to have and you didn't have. Sometimes we'll place that
blame out. We'll look out when you take two seconds
to really, you know, be alone and look in the mirror.
(11:37):
Ain't nobody else there but you and that other person
in the mirror. So that means that's the one you
gotta get right. You know what, I'm saying, And you
gotta trust yourself. You gotta listen to yourself, and you
gotta believe without you know, any impression of what you
think that you might need to be doing based off
of what you're looking at or what someone else has,
how do you feel? And no matter what level you're
(11:59):
playing at, it you take the time to deal with
him or her in that mirror verse, you'll be a
better person. Accountability, accountability, patience with self too, because I
think you know, yeah, yes, yeah, yeah, we do things
for other people. We don't that we don't give ourselves
the same grace and the same kind of like patience,
(12:20):
and well we're all out here looking for something else
and not able to you know, be single along, be
single long enough to that sound crazy, you're saying that
because I'm never single long enough to even, but some
people are single for I had that feel for you
in those two months. Man, I was crazy. It was good.
(12:41):
But when good is what I got, what you got better.
It's funny seeing you on that stage roles and all
that energy, and I was like, I wonder how that
is to be in a relationship. Well, you clearly you
like you like a relationship I'm never like not single.
That did you like love? Right, I'm never single, I'm
I asked I love love. I'm just looking bad at it.
(13:04):
You know what I'm saying. You're getting better though, I'm
getting better, you know what I'm saying. Good partnership definitely,
you know, breeds great things. You know. Yeah, but if
you're not ready, it doesn't matter. The greatest person in
the world, if you can't contribute to it, it's not
gonna It starts with you self accountability again, you know,
when you're able to take that time and deal with yourself.
(13:24):
I'm curious what you can be happy with anybody. You
know what I'm saying. If I'm thinking about myself in
terms of therapy and all of that, the things that
one am I had to be accountable for, like saying
what I want was like a thing for me, Like
you know, like do you think somebody else should know
what you need or what you want? And yeah, that
was the thing I wonder for you? Like what was
(13:45):
your thing that you had to fix about you? Um,
I'm perfect what you're talking about not perfect? It might
be perfect now, by the way, self listen. One having
a partner who be honest with you, brutally honest with you,
and you can take that constructive criticism because you know
(14:05):
what comes from a good place and you've spent enough
time your friends enough and you've established trust. Trust is
the main, you know, component to happiness and success in
a relationship, being able to actually hear each other and
speak up. It's hard, right to to even know what
you really want and what really matters. I think most
(14:29):
of the time you we all just want to be heard. Yeah.
You know a lot of people when you say trust,
they assume because I know what you mean. Because some
people think trust means trust my partner not to cheat
or do this, or trust it. But it's also like
you have to trust somebody. Those things can become trivial,
you know, because you have to trust somebody able to
receive their information. Love, you have to trust their intentions.
(14:52):
You have to trust is way bigger than just whatever
people normally connected with. Yeah, trust her to tell you, hey,
that was whack or you don't like whatever the thing?
What however she I said, how I would say, yeah,
whatever the putoc you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I
(15:13):
don't know about that, playboy. But you have to trust
to be able to let somebody say that to you
and know and be okay with it. Yeah, Um, I
don't know about that, playboy. Well, again, just being able
to hear each other, Um, being able to I'm trying
(15:36):
to find the exact word of what it's called take
your time, your time the the idea and by the way,
ain't it's not like a a perfect thing, right, But
when you're in a relationship with someone and they're talking,
but you don't really get a chance to hear what
they're saying because you're trying to get your point across,
(15:57):
they're trying to get their point across, and by the
end of conversation, you've just been trying to fight your
one point as opposed to actually hearing each other. Right.
So in exercise that I've I've I've managed to work
into life, not just relationship and love, but life period. Um,
if you give me what it is that you're your
(16:19):
issue is, and I hear it, and then I'm able
to repeat it back to you before I respond, Right,
I'm sure I'm feeling like I don't know. Yeah, whatever
it is you didn't listen to me last night, You
ain'try because I didn't listen to you last night. This
is good exercise. This is therapy one. And then and
(16:39):
then you ask what else? Right? Is there? More? Is
there more? They give you more. You repeat back verbatim,
so that I know this exercise from therapy. It works,
but you actually use it, you do it. It actually works.
It resolves issues and it gets to the point, especially
when a person is nervous, because it's like, Okay, I
got a few sects to try to get a word
(17:00):
in and try to figure out how to get my
point or either, and then it turns into this argument
where I'm gonna one up you. Then you start insulting
each other. Okay, now I'm gonna one up you in
an insult and then before you know it, one party
can walk away and nothing's resolved. I didn't hear you,
You didn't hear me. We didn't get to any good
point of communication. So how can we now get to
a successful place where we're happy because we're gonna have
(17:22):
to sleep in the bed together, or to be around
the kids, or be around each other and do business together,
whatever it might be. But to be able to perception
check is what it's called. That's it to because the
perception to perception check greater than just hearing what you're saying,
to have a perception of exactly what it is you're saying,
(17:44):
and then repeat it, pervade him. You can't say you
didn't hear me because you repeated it to me one
rice feed therapy. By the way, and this ship really
does work. You're welcome. It's free game and a relation.
You want a successful relationship, you try this. I'm telling
you it's gonna work. Is then more she gives it
to you? Is there more by the time she's resolved
(18:05):
whatever her issue is smaller because it probably is something
much smaller than you whatever imagine it would be. And
maybe as a man, I'm insulted that you've even talking
to me the way you're talking to me. But if
I get past all of that and not just hear you,
we get to the end of it. Now we're at
the end of it. Nine times out of ten, I
won't even have a rebuttal or a reason to try
to come back at it. Sometimes you just want to
(18:27):
be heard. Sometimes you just want And by the way,
vice versa, women have to they have to try it
the same way for men because sometimes it might be
You know, it's hard for a guy to be vulnerable
and really tell you the ship that he's going through
as a man, any man, he has a hill to climb,
just I mean especially black man or minority men, men,
minorities in America and whatever minority group you choose to
(18:49):
stand with, right, It's hard. Right. So now I'm at
home and my house is supposed to be in order,
and I gotta be able to talk to you and
tell you exactly what I feel, be vulnerable with you,
only you. I gotta fight the rest of the world,
but I want to be able to really talk to
you and talk to you, tell you exactly what I'm feeling.
And you say, is there anything else? And I have
to think about it. I give you what else. Hopefully
(19:11):
you don't take too long. But if you eventually get
to a place you heard then and you're you're heard,
don't just yes, well no, don't just hear me like no,
don't just listen to me you say that, right, don't
just listen to me, really hear me. In process perception
check with each other. That's one gift, that's one lesson
(19:32):
that I feel like really helps us. That is not
a small thing. It's really hard to because the opposite
of that, just for anybody who's never been to therapy. Right, So, hey,
this bothers me, and then you feel you have to defend,
you feel attacked. So now you're engaging in war that
you can't win because neither one of you feels heard
or feels, you know, like it's no connection. So that's
(19:55):
normally what happens when people arguing. Well, by the way,
if you're dealing with the selfest part selfish partner, then
that might be an indication that this partner ain't for you. Right.
I'm not saying perception check with an idiot. I'm not
saying perception check with a person who's just selfish and
can't you know, allow you to have at least some
space to be able to be heard. I mean, these
are signs. Right in the event that the signs are
(20:17):
telling you it's not right, maybe you should listen. Oh
that's good. Yeah, sure, I'm so happy for you. I'm
happy for me to write happy for you. Everybody's I
don't know, you're in a good it's so good and
it's obvious. Thank you. I've seen you perform. You're always
great on stage. But you're like happy up there and
it resonates it different you know what we feel it.
(20:41):
I feel it because I know you. I don't know,
but I feel it. I'm sure other people tell you
this too. Yeah, it is the ability to have peace
right and not feel as though I have to prove anything.
I think that we all go through that I have
to prove something. That's what I want to ask you
about you having it because I feel like even you
(21:01):
as a kid coming up in this business and having
all this talent that you had, I feel like we
look at Michael Jackson and he was probably somebody you
probably looked at Michael's career. This is the goal, right,
This is the This is from what I know of
you and from your career. Um, do you ever feel
like you've reached that for yourself? Whatever that thing was.
(21:23):
I think everybody has their own stories. Some people start
later in their life, so they've had the opportunity to
live out certain experiences, gather what they feel about life,
have ambition, be ambitious, you know, have integrity or not
figure it out? Hook a crew, how you get there,
and then the career starts. For me, it started before
I had any of those experiences. No, I'm not quite
(21:45):
like Michael, but I got my own experience and I
have my own history, and I think it started by
someone else's interpretation of me. Right again, we all have this,
your kid, and we all have to be brought up.
So long as you're able to look at every experience
as a great one, good or bad, it'll work out
(22:05):
for you, don't You just be all right with the yeses.
Don't just be okay with the winds, except your losses,
except your moments that are perceived to be losses, to
only make you better for the future. Rather, you know, man,
it was a really difficult start, and you know I
had to make so many sacrifices in the beginning. Great
(22:26):
that you did, because now you can appreciate this moment
where you're standing on the mountaintop. But it's hard. It's
hard to to do that when you're in the middle
of it. I part of it is my upbringing. I'm
very happy that my mother raised me and my brother
the way that she did. Um, I'm really happy that
I had some elders in my life and also to
(22:47):
mentors um that are still there, consigiliaries that you know
are there to be able to yeah, to be able
to help you really understand, and then life is as
much as you choose to explore and educate yourself. You
ain't ship. You can't read right now. So if you
can take the time to sit down and and understand
(23:08):
what a person's life was, where they started, what this
story is, and gather something from it. Um But if
you are fortunate to have mentors, if you're fortunate enough
to have friends that will keep it real with you,
that will be with you through thick and thin, then
hopefully you know it'll lead you in the right direction.
But you know, part of that madness, if we look
(23:30):
at Michael's life and you use him as an example,
all of being in that made him the genius that
he is. You know, being in New York City with
Biggie and Puff when he first started Bad Boy Records,
and kind of being in the midst of you know,
him working on my album with l A. Reid as
he employed him to give me whatever it was swag.
(23:50):
It kind of dimmed the light that was my own
and gave me something. It gave me hustle, It gave
me tenacity and gave me you know, that man gave
me focus, because there ain't nobody more focused and got
more hustle than puff like in order to understand how
to get it, and also to motivate everybody around him
to drive at their best. If you ain't running at
(24:12):
a hundred, you ain't working with me. Get where I'm
at and then we'll see what we're talking about. Otherwise,
get what you can and I'll see you later. You'll
thank me later. But for real, that guy right there
had he was a motivator, and um, you know, everything
that I was able to pick up, I did manage
to use at some point. No, my first album wasn't
(24:32):
the most wildly successful album, but when I play it
out there, I got day one fans that love it
and rather they go back and they are a part
of it. And I feel fortunate to be able to
you know, have have those you know, those those songs
and those moments. But I really found my way to
my own light when I got to my way. You know,
I think too the thing I was thinking about, like,
(24:54):
I put you in a category of greats. Right, I'm
sure a lot of people do do you do for yourself?
Do you think of yourself that way? Yeah? Right? You
have to think of yourself. But some people would perceive
that as like, you know, being arrogant conceded. Yeah, it's
this is a basketball game in life, right if that's
(25:16):
a football, this is a football game in life. If
I go out on this field and I'm like tiptoeing around,
You're gonna knock my block off. I'm trying to get
to the hoop and I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go
through you. I'm gonna get through you to get where
I gotta go. You know what I'm saying. Like a
basketball player, the goal is the championship for the rings
or whatever the thing is. It's one shot at a time. Really,
(25:38):
it's one shot at a time. And understanding team ball.
That's that's basketball. For music is similar. No one man
is an island. It's understanding that collaboration is important. But
you gotta believe this ship. You gotta believe that, Yo,
I can do this. Anything I put my mind to,
I can make it. I can do it. To be
an artist, you have to be a little bit delusion.
(26:00):
You have to be a little nuts. Yeah, yeah, that's true.
You have to because you're thinking of it before anybody else.
So didn't exist before you thought of it. So you
have to be able to think about something and not
only are you thinking of it, but you're hating it.
You're creating it in real time, and more than likely
it's driving you crazy because it's in your mind and
(26:20):
no one else can see it. So you got to
manage to motivate, push the envelope, push yourself, and push
everybody around you to believe what you see. You know,
it's so good, but when you look at the grates
sometimes it makes them crazy. Chasing this. You're chasing m J,
(26:41):
or you're chasing whatever. If you're basketball player, you're chasing
Lebron or Jordan or whatever it is. Do you feel like,
next to m J, next to all the grades, that
you are there or are you still chasing a version
of that for yourself? Being able to walk in their
footsteps was the first thing. So I followed them, I
studied them, I trained the way they trained. I pushed
myself the way they put themselves. You know, I analyzed
(27:03):
what I knew versus what I didn't, and tried to
speak to a more broader audience and tried to reach
and reach and keep going. And it started here. But
then they managed to get here. Not the same style
of music, not the same genres, not the same production,
not but the same amount of commitment for me. Yeah,
(27:23):
because I've been carrying their torch, because I've been standing
on their shoulders. Now I'm in a position where I
look forward and now hopefully somebody's coming behind me standing
on my shoulder. Isn't gonna push it forward? Yeah, I'll
accept that. Yes, that that, by the way, was always
the plan. It was never to be big as Michael,
(27:46):
it was never to be big as Bobby, it was
never to be big as Stevie. I just wanted the journey.
I wanted to get there. I wanted to manage to
every day have someplace to go and someone to care
about me being there. Are actually going for it right
(28:08):
when you create, like, okay, I just have to have
this thing. I want the money. When you get the money,
what you're gonna do? You made it about the money.
It's over now. But when the journey is the destination,
you never stop reaching. I don't know if I ever stopped.
And so long as I'm able to be happy in
doing it, and hopefully you know, my fans will continue
to carry me in that process. And celebrate what I'm making. UM.
(28:32):
But the reason why I say that is because I
feel like I'm carrying a standard right greater than the
points that I'm putting on the board. The performers that
they were, the fact that their mikes were actually on
and they were dancing and singing and performing and giving
and leaving it on the stage. That's what I picked
up from them, and I want to make sure that
this generation doesn't forget about that part. Because it's easy
(28:55):
to just put your TV track on or either your
song on, go up and had a DJ just rocket
in that SI and the crowd likes it and it's fine,
and you gotta do the work. You gotta put the
work in. All the young cats, you know, I know
all of them better. Fact, you're so good with them.
I was wondering how much of that is, Like I
don't close my daughter nobody. You know what I'm saying.
I'm big bro in that way, UNC whatever you wanna
(29:17):
call me. I give the information because it's important for
us to continue to keep the legacy moving forward. Nobody
should call you. I mean, some of them young enough
to you know what I'm saying. I don't feel like
you on status yet I mean, I don't feel like
nowhere near it, you know what I'm saying. But I
don't feel like you got a lot to do. I know,
(29:39):
but I feel like you have. You should have comfort
in knowing that if you did nothing else, which I
know you will do more if you did nothing else,
like you've done enough. Do you feel like that? I
always feel like there's more, of course, yeah, But um,
but this comfort and knowing the comfort in owing, um,
(30:02):
it's part of it. But not feeling as though you
have to prove something. That's what I think I hear
you saying. Do I feel like I have to prove
something to anybody? No, I'm in my own light, and
I got my own ideas, and I'm and I'm pushing forward.
And again it's the integrity of what it is that
I collected in my life from these incredible grates that
(30:23):
now has made me who I am. So now I
can just be who I am. You can follow it.
It ain't gonna be easy. I ain't making it easy
for you, of course not. And then points do matter
in that light, you know what I'm saying. But you're competitive,
You're competitive a little bit, yeah, A little bit watch
(30:44):
what other people are doing, and they're people that are
inspiring you or or you just I'm encouraged. I don't
know that I'm you know, yeah, I'm I'm I'm I'm encouraged.
There are things that do inspire me because you know,
as I think, you know, our culture changes, um and
it flips, you know, music, R and B, rhythm and blues,
(31:05):
rather it turned into hip hop. Rhythm and blues to
me is the base of it all, jazz before rhythm
and blues. It's really the base of it all. And
that was just this ever morphing thing based off of
the persons in interpretation of it, an instrument that they
picked up, or how they chose to use their instrument.
Rather they it was spoken word and they were spitting
you know, bars, or rather it was you know Miles
(31:28):
through a horn, or rather it was you know, Jimmy
hendrick S through a guitar. You know. So for me
being able to contribute to any of it in this time,
I'm happy, um, rather legendary status. I'm carrying the torch
of everything that I have seen and the things that
(31:49):
I loved about them had everything to do with integrity,
had everything integrity for the music. Uh, and integrity for
the art and the legendary. That's exactly what I was
trying to get to. Yeah you got you did it. Yeah,
I don't know why I feel so hard, Like how
I feel so hard just accepting that? Yeah, what is that?
(32:10):
I don't know. I don't know. Is there a moment
I think something in our history. I'm sure you are alleged,
thank you, Yeah I did that, but I'm but I'm
telling you something in our history alone, the process is
like you'll be humble, like, yeah, be humble, would be
(32:31):
proud that you can even do any of it, because
that's part of what's driving it, you know this, And
it's also if you take yourself out of the equation,
because I think we're all here to share our gifts
with people, to write so that other people can take
from whatever they take from us. The fact that you
are a legend and you have built that, it's inspiring.
(32:53):
It brings joy to people. So if you don't acknowledge
and accept that, it's almost like you're not even giving
it to the you know what I mean, you don't
even allow the people to fully feel that. So what
part of it is this the idea that something is
going to be taken away from you in a moment's time.
Never know, But my point is it could be something
(33:16):
right that comes from you being a young kid coming up,
always trying to have a hit. No, that's life. Trying
to be hot, be not hot, that's life because in
the Okay, let's say it's one record that is not
as successful as the other records. Should I now not
look at you as a legend That happens with artists?
(33:37):
I think yes, But I think you have finally transcended that.
I think there are certain artists that if you never
make another record, or if you put out twenty horrible records,
it does not negate the legendary status that you've created.
That is not a thing that many people can claim.
It's a handful of artists that are still relevant, that
are still active, that could claim that status. Yeah, that's
(34:01):
it's a beautiful thing. Don't argue with me about I
ain't argue. I ain't argue. Did you hear what I said?
Thank you? Is there anything? Is there anything else? Is
there anything more? Using our exercise and listening. No, it's amazing,
it's amazing. It seems inspiring Man, it's to me what
makes the show so special because it's like you feel
that like it's just whatever we should talk about that
(34:24):
I saw this and was it the doc or is
it the master class thing when you talked about prepping
for a show like this that you do meditate with
the dancers and the crew and ye is that something
you is that new in your life that they so
since therapy before, actually, transcendental meditation was the first entrance
into meditation for me, and then other you know, forms
(34:44):
of meditation. Um. I really picked up as I begin
to kind of, you know, just invest in this idea
of mental health and how we sustain being able to
talk to someone, having a therapist or either someone who
is of sound mind to be able to share and
you can be vulnerable and have trust with is important.
But then there are things that we can do to
(35:06):
really help foul um. You know, our thinking and all
the things that we're collecting. Meditation is how I do that.
Trans Transcendental meditation was the first way of doing it.
It was like, you know, basically a mantra, it's a word,
and then you kind of, you know, my therapist keeps
trying to get me to do it, and I just
want to. Silence is the hardest thing for any of
(35:27):
us to cope with, especially thinkers and incredible people, legendary
people like yourself. You want to get. It's so bad,
believe it or not. Though transidental meditation teaches you not
to run from that, right. But again, there are other
deeper forms of medication, meditation, meditation that um manages to
(35:53):
really hit. But by the way, medication versus meditation, no
medication versus meditation. I would always go with meditation. But
it's very hard, especially for people who have a great
deal of pressure and expectation placed on them, because there's
this idea of having to live up to something and
you're then plagued with this activation of your brain. And
(36:15):
you now managed to get it in this place where
it's just constantly constantly throwing your ideas throwing you and
which which one sticks? And what should you do? What
shouldn't you do? Oh, I'm gonna just I feel this,
I'm gonna do it, and I don't do that. Don't
When you managed to slow it down and be in
silence with yourself, rather you meditate, and you had for
me it started off at five minutes and three intervals
(36:38):
throughout an entire day. Then I managed to get up
to twenty minutes. Twenty minutes is really there's a is
a that's a standard. Twenty minutes three times a day,
three times a day. You gotta do it. Rather you
just choose manage to get up early enough to just
sit there in silence, even if your mind is going.
Just sit there in silence. Don't do anything. Don't pick
(36:59):
your phone up, don't answer the phone, don't respond to anybody,
give yourself and what happens to you. You just you're
in a You're in a state right The most important
part of our entire being is our state of being.
What state of being are you in? Are you suffering?
(37:19):
Are you not suffering? Those are the two states. There's
no other states to be in. You're the suffering or
you're not suffering. Is that it is real? It is
only two states a little. You're either suffering or you're not.
And if you managed, if you've managed to put yourself
in a beautiful state of being right where you're not suffering,
(37:42):
then you can manage to allow of universe to actually
unfold for you. That's good because what's intended to happen.
Will You can try and funk it up as much
as you want to, but if it's intended to happen,
it's gonna keep coming around until you finally get it.
You ever say, like, man, I knew something told me.
That's the universe is telling you. Moved this way, do this.
(38:05):
But if you're not in the right states, you're not
gonna catch it. You're not gonna see it. And if
you're constantly in this hectic state of mind and state
of being and suffering and trying to live or trying
to do this, you ain't gonna get to it. That's
so good. Suffering or not suffering two states, that's it.
There's two states of being. Yes, that's it. You're either
(38:27):
a suffering state or not the suffering states. But if
the answer is yes, I'm suffering, then what is the
Then that's part of the problem. Okay, so now you
know you're suffering. Now let's get into why you are suffering.
You're begin to open it up, You're begin to understand. Man,
it was something that I had in my mind that
I thought I needed to fix as a kid, I
was three. I didn't know any difference any better, but
that became employ of how I look at my entire life.
(38:50):
Somebody told me no, so it was always no. So
I always thought no. I always thought I couldn't do that,
or I thought I shouldn't do that, or that was
the wrong thing to do. Is this deeper work? You
know what I'm saying. It forces you to look at
the why. It forces you to go back and speak
to your your child sometimes, like get into the mind
of where you're, where you were and when you picked
up some idea, and why are you're suffering? Is this
(39:13):
something you learned and something somebody taught you. It's something
that I've experienced and I managed to see for myself
in life through meditation, through you know, a great deal
of just patience with myself, studying, trying to get myself
in a better state of being where I'm not walking
around just suffering all day. Were you suffering for a
long time? What was the cause of that? My suffering?
(39:37):
I think UM primarily is the expectation to live up
to something um or either something that was missing. Right.
I need to add something more to my life because
I'm not happy in this present moment. I gotta get
to that other thing, you know, does help you define
it too, Right, if you if you don't even know
(39:58):
who you're recognize yourself, Frank, if you, I think more
than likely, Um, all of us are kind of stuck
in the suffering state. It's the state that you choose
to set yourself in. When you're actually meditating, you're more
than likely calm enough and out of to let you
and I and this enables you right from being able
(40:20):
to see what it is that you're dealing with. I'm frantic,
I gotta just go figure out. Just but wait a minute,
just slow down, just just stop for two seconds. Then
you realize it's not as pressing as you thought it was.
I'm not even I don't know why I'm stressed out.
I'm not even suffering. That's what it does to you, Right,
do you have that thought like why am I even?
What can I do about it? Let me focus on
(40:41):
the positive. I saw you telling the crowd that a
little bit on the first night of the show. You
told everybody turn their phones off to be in the moment,
and yeah, be present, be present, And then you said,
I don't want to sound like the old guy, old man,
or I forget what the word as I sound getting older, right,
(41:03):
And you know it's these mantras and things that older
people always coming up with, like these wise tales and
you know what I'm saying in the in the Land
of the Blind and whatnot? Man is king ship like that?
You know what I'm saying, But I didn't. I didn't
want to, you know, serve it as rhetoric or either
anything like that. But yo, are we able to be
okay with no as much as we are with yes,
(41:26):
winds as much as we are with losses because they're
the same. We don't see it, but they are. I've
never heard it said like that. Hey, listen, if you manage,
I've heard you know you learn from your mistakes. Everything
is okay. Why would you? Everything is a process. You
learn from your I learned something from mama. But I've
never heard Yes. It's the same as no. It should
(41:46):
be in our minds. We can't see it that way
because we're all kind of like looking for the win only.
But there's measures, you know, there's measures in life. There's time,
there's there's a moment for everything, and nothing is happening
by coincidence. Everything is intended to happen. You just don't
(42:09):
fight it if you choose or try to just gonna
make their process longer. So good. How are you doing
with like, um, because it's just like growing USh right now?
How did you because you started so young, you're grown,
You're still you're still not uncle status. I wouldn't say
I am. I'm saying if you're like six years old,
(42:32):
are you're trying to you want to call me up?
That's cool? Um? But how do you do? How how
have you dealt with age? Because because famous people and
sometimes that challenging, especially when you start so young and
you looked at as a kid or you looked at
as this young you know, and now you're like a
grown man four kids, Like, was there ever a weird
(42:54):
transition for you? And that? Yeah? I mean it became
painstakingly obvious when I had to deal with a thirteen
year old teen year old who you know or like
in need of parenting, and you know, as complicated as
it is to be our parents, we get it now
that we're on the other side of it. As an entertainer,
I don't know I think that uh in you know
(43:18):
the eyes of my fans, I guess I'm as old
as the experience that they've had, rather they had it then,
or whether they're still having it now. So I don't
know if music is able to give you age in
that way. I think if anything, it preserves your age
because you go back to that moment. And for me,
I'm actually working my way back in it every time
(43:39):
i'm performing it. Rather i'm you know, doing a handstand
or you know, you're still moving trying to get the
body right in order to had that shirt off whatever,
you know what I'm doing any weird old man, you know,
sometimes the dance as you get older, it starts it
has a little some of my favorites the dance. A
little later on it starts to get well, you're showing
no signs of that. Well, for the performance had always
(44:01):
been a major part of who I was, So it's
always kept me young because that's that was the fun
part of it, you know. But not everybody makes that
transition from child to young to grown comfortably, especially people
in the public eye. They fight it and we see
them fighting, and it's never it's always uncomfortable to watch it.
(44:21):
But I don't think we've ever seen any kind of
weird transition. Maybe internally you had one, but we didn't
see it. You weren't like I think, if anything, that
transition probably UM was difficult between me and my mom,
and very difficult because of our work relationship that then
became family relationship, right, And I think ultimately it had
(44:42):
always just been about my mom wanting me to be
the best or have the best or not go through
any kind of pain, which is her own suffering. Because
she's thinking about what she went through and not looking
at me for where I am suffering. She must be
proud now. She's very rout now because she understands that Um,
(45:06):
no matter what she may have wanted, what was intended
to happen, would we were always going to be good.
We're always going to get be be where we were,
and our relationship as mother and son is more important
than anything. And now we can have all the other stuff.
And she got these grand babies, and she got grand babies,
and she got to deal with four Yeah, and she
(45:28):
loves the other model. Of course they do. I hear
it's easier to be a grandparents, more fun being a grandparents.
You get to do all the fun stuff. Yeah, until
you meet Sinko, my oldest son, he's fourteen. Yeah. But
now they have their code. I don't know if I
go through the thing with grandma the way normal. You know,
(45:49):
everybody else says, you know when grandparents get their kids,
they just let them get away with everything. Because my
mom she still want it. Yeah, she's still she's still
on it. Yeah. How's being a a dad changed you? Uh?
And a new in a recent kind of girl dad now?
And yeah, yeah, girl dad has definitely made me soft.
(46:11):
I was just in a jumping house, no socks. Yeah,
I went pumping patching. Yeah, by the way, I did
it with my boys too, But with your daughter is
a different thing. Like I'm literally walking her through everything
and trying to make sure I'm I'm the bodyguard you.
You're on stage last night, then he was at the
(46:31):
after party, and then he was at the pumpkin patch
pumpkin patching and getting ready for school. You know they yep,
you got what you need. You know, noticed something yesterday?
You miss class and I didn't miss class. That was tutoring. Okay,
got it great. Just want to make sure I let
you know, I see it. What's going on here? You're
on it? Yeah, of course you gotta be. You know
what I'm saying that my responsibilities as a dad is
(46:53):
more important than anything that I do here. You know,
that's what changed me to be able to say that
I could be you know that for my kids, I
suffered a long time, you know, analyzing uh and making
moves based off of the fact that I didn't have
a dad. I wanted things to be perfect because I
(47:15):
didn't have it right, or I wanted to try to
do the perfect thing in order to make sure that
I didn't make my son feel like I felt my
own suffering had nothing to do with him. Isn't that crazy?
How that does it to us our parents? Like I
just did my last episode, I said with Kelly Rowland,
and we're talking about daddy issues and it's like for
women especially, you know, daddy issues is like a big thing,
(47:36):
but we never really talked about, like men, what that does?
What that does? Yeah, well, not being there or either
being around, but you know, kind of being an absentee
um And probably because it's just the standards of where
life was for me and back in those times. You know,
it's always kind of been this idea, you know, don't cry,
(47:56):
you soft if you cry. I don't believe in that.
I believe that your kids can't cry, um, but they
need to get up. I need to keep moving. Um.
You know, it's all right to be vulnerable. It's all
right to to have moments. Uh, don't share them with everybody,
because they ain't everybody's business. But to have a dad
that you can talk to and you know, be able
(48:17):
to be transparent with to help your kids. I think
it's important to have that for men in our time.
Earlier it probably wouldn't. I can't say it because my
dad wasn't that I wasn't. I didn't have that kind
of relationship with with my dad, you know, but change
everything about me. I think it made it gave me
true responsibility, you know, it gave purpose for those late, late,
(48:41):
late nights. Like I did that anyway in my life,
but as a father, you do it for a different reason,
with a different outcome, or at least expectation for an outcome.
Are you a good dad? Do you think now that
you though I can be tough as sometimes, you know,
and I think I managed to make everybody feel like
I'm near dad, everybody's daddy kind of sort of everybody's dad.
(49:10):
I just want everybody to, you know, to be the
greatest man. And what do you ask God foremost? What
do you pray for? What do I pray for most?
Because it seems like you have everything his grace covering. Um,
I pray more than anything given thinks that I'm able
to pray, that I actually have the voice to be
(49:31):
able to share it, the fact that He's chosen you
know me, and also two people around as vessels for
some purpose that could help me through life and also
to help a lot of people. UM. I pray for
my children. I pray for my loved ones. I pray
for those who are my soul circle, the people who
(49:53):
circle I love that, Yeah, the people who matter you know,
for life, and UM will affect those people who because
by the way, in this soul circle are all people
who affect each other. Rather it's my mom or my children,
or my ex wife or you know, people who have
been there. You know what I'm saying, that ship gets hard,
but you know, UM, but praying a covering over for
(50:16):
the sake of making sure that as we go into
the next season or whatever life has to offer. For
my kids who have kids, you know that they don't
bring the same issues that we had in hours into
this that we can remedy and fix some of those things.
You know, what do you think now? Because everybody's purpose?
I think, well, no, some people they're born, they feel
(50:38):
like they have a purpose, they know what it is.
Sometimes they change throughout our lives. Do you feel like
you know what yours is? Um? We know it has
something to do with music so far, but I think
um after that, UM, Rather it's it's an example of
a business because business has obviously been a part of
(51:00):
my life, not as much as a priority, but to
be recognized as a businessman that speaks through that. I mean,
I've been I've made plays, I've I've done things, I've
had involvement in major things. And also to more than anything,
have been um oddly enough for user, for other people
(51:21):
to be able to be introduced into spaces and have
benefited from that, don't get me wrong, UM, but to
now be in a position to prepare people and to
create a standard, a standard that we can benefit from,
an ecosystem that I think that we can benefit from
better than happen to rely so much on infrastructure that's
(51:44):
been set before we got here. So that's really my
next focus. So you're like going to go back to
the student. I know you're in this moment, but oh
my done. Okay, no, no, no, no no done. Matter of fact,
I don't care what business I'm in, I'm going to
you will make music. And also to either be a
part of creativity in that space of music, because it's
(52:05):
something that I know so well. I understand what it is,
I understand how to do it, and I don't take
it for granted. But I love to be able to
be creative in that space. But business that's in a
lifestyle that is aspirational, that is a part of our
culture that leads to some sense of knowledge for all
of our people to be able to continue to collect
(52:26):
it and utilize it or either benefit from it. Something
that's happening already. Is there, is there, There's there's many
there's many things. You know. Um, you know, me and
l A Read have been working together, you know, we
we hadn't been working together for a very long time. Um,
you know, so to be able to be back in
(52:47):
each other's lives, and I think that he's been such
a valuable commodity, you know, for so many industries and
you know, and so many incredible entities. But now to
be able to come together and have ownership in what
we're building for a future making a label. It's gonna
(53:07):
be that, and then something a network and a label
or something like this. Very mysterious. Well, but I'm excited
whatever it is being mysterious because you know we're in
the process. But you've seen us together, right, you better
watch this, you know what I'm saying. But we we've
(53:27):
been around each other, um recently, you know, just just
reminding ourselves of why we got started and what it
was about, where it came from, looking at and analyzing
the things that have happened in life, what could have
been better, what we could have done differently, and the
importance of our legacy and the aspiration of what it
is that we created, you know, and really being a
(53:50):
product of it through and through, not just talking it
because we're talking a lot a lot of us talk
about this collaboration and my brothers and we're sticking together, No,
really do and it sticking together and building you know
this sounds exciting. Yeah, did this surprise you? Well, I
(54:11):
didn't know it would be as wildly successful as it was.
Thank God for Eddie Bishop Long who created watch this.
I don't know if y'all ever heard that, you know,
I'm you know as a um as a kid, his
sermons I used to go to and he would always
do this, watch this, watch this. Kind of picked it up,
did he? He didn't put that part together? Now, Yeah,
(54:32):
I just my own little remix up. But um and
it was a part of you know, confessions, like it's
always been on the record, but I never kind of
gave it a little visual. But by the way, memes
were not a part of that culture at that time.
Um And that was just having fun, man. But y'all
definitely watched this because there's something coming. I can't wait
(54:54):
till you're ready to talk about it. Yeah, I look
forward to that. Yeah, it's gonna be fun. Thank you
for today, Thank you for them easing weekend. We're gonna
need be roll. I need to show people who please
come back. You're gonna do it for more, right, because
I keep telling people got to see this. Sadly enough,
I think by the time this is there will be
it'll be over. So um yeah, please should there be
a documentary or something around it? It It has to be.
(55:17):
It works all stuffing, it's really magical. It really you
bring in so much joy to people. Yeah, very happy
to be able to have done it now and be
on the lookout for new music next year. And you
are a legend. I am a legend.
Andre Martinez in Real Life podcast. Do we I mean,
do we welcome him? For everybody? Now we appreciate him,
and now he feels loved. But grudgingly my crew they're like, yeah, whatever, whatever,
he made us work on Sunday. He made us work
on Sunday, ushers. Let me tell you something. I came
(00:24):
to Vegas to see your show on Friday and Saturday.
I've been working so high, so Saturday I was going
to do nothing. I was gonna catch up on emails
and do nothing, and then I was going to come
into you on Sunday. Originally I went to the show
on Saturday, and I was I knew it was gonna
be good. You're Russia, You're always good. But there's something
really magical happening out here, right, Like it's different level goods.
(00:45):
We're greater than every other person who came out here
to interview. I wanted you to have an entire weekend experience,
thank you. So we start on Friday, and then why
do I Friday for a Sunday interview? I think you
set me up for a whole weekend. Yeah, it's really magical,
but it is. It actually is magical, and not just
um in part, you know, you know, based off of
(01:08):
all of the hit records and the fact that we're
here just celebrating the years of music, celebrating twenty five
anniversary of My Way, but even some of the special
guests that come. Fat Joe came, the first stage, Joe
was here, it was was Donald Jones. Jones came, it
was Robin Thicke, Keep Sweat, and Teddy Riley. Yeah, so
I got like this this doughnut in the middle of
(01:28):
the show. It's like a special little moment for the
you know, the the the unknown to happen. Yeah you did.
I saw Chris Brown came. Yeah, it's like a moment
to give people their flowers also, but then also have
this like connection with them, with everybody and the world
specifically in Vegas, because it's supposed to be an accelerated
experience here, right. So for me, rather we've done records together,
(01:51):
or rather, um, we've just been friends for years, you know.
For me and Robin, we go back, you know, to
Confessions and the first time I ever met him, I
was just so intrigued by his talent. So we finally
got a chance to work together. It's like a smoothness
Jesus about him, you know what I'm saying. And then
(02:11):
he but over the years, just building a relationship. I
was like, yeah, there's no way possible. I'm gonna do
this onhe and not have you come out and just
share the love. And then the Face records right, all
of that. Yes, l A Read was in the house,
Mark Pitts was in the house. Danielle Jones, he would
La didn't see that show, but I was backstage talking
(02:32):
to Dan Ellen. I'm like, yo, dude, you realize how
important the face was for just the like the ground lane,
like we set the four plan for all of what
Atlanta is. That was plenty of people doing things, but
not quite as sophisticated as l A Reading baby Face
with the Face record, so being able to celebrate him.
(02:53):
I mean, if I could get everybody up here to
be great, but you know, we are the motown of
the South. So I was like, yeo, I want us
to be, you know, remembered, and I want the audience
in the world to be able to see and share
in that moment, rather they know the songs or whether
they now will go back and understand Oh wait a minute.
Usher used to he worked with Doniel Jones his first out.
Yeah he did. And that's kind of how Motown was, right,
(03:17):
they all helped each other rather they pitched him by
way of song or by way of you know, production,
or even choreography. Right, So you know that's a that's
a little bit of that. And I love that you
took so seriously the thought of like bringing Atlanta to
Vegas or without a question. Hey look, everybody else brings
that culture, you know what I'm saying. You got like
South American culture through you know, such Sola and all
(03:39):
of those incredible shows here and the strip teases. We
know what that is for the world, but you don't
know what it's like until you go to Atlanta, you
know what I mean. People want to know what it
feels like to make it rain. By by the way
it was, it was it was partially my mom's concept
and not just she was like, you gotta make it rain.
So I was like, okay, all right, we're gonna say
so to bring Atlanta's culture the same way that these
(04:03):
other theatrical shows do the same thing in Las Vegas.
I wanted it to be our culture, you know what
I'm saying. For me, I was like you know, I'm
an under promise and over delivered for this one one.
That's what my entire career has always been. And this
time I really get a chance to just celebrate and
do some things that I wanted to do. You know,
(04:23):
I want to try things that I've never tried before.
I want to celebrate culture in a way that you know,
preserves it and gives it a sophistication, in a way
that you know, for people who have never been to
a club like that, they know what it feels like,
who have heard the music, but they don't know the culture. Obviously,
we were, you know, inching up on the twenty five
you know, year anniversary from my way, So the celebration
(04:45):
of all those songs, it is a surprise for me
every night to go out there and here my original fans,
who something I met when they were eleven years old,
now adults with kids of their own. So this is
that moment to like kind of relive our child hood,
but also to get sophisticated. Come see something fly sexy,
eat something nice. Whether you come out here along by yourself,
(05:07):
you didn't leave alone, you know what I'm saying. Whither
you came out here with your significant other, just the girl.
The second night there was a girl was the first
night there was a girl sitting next to us, and
she was by herself. She looked gorgeous. She came, she
got dressed, and she got her seat and she just
sat there, had an amazing time. Yes, it's really beautiful
to look out there and see y'all, you know, all
those beautiful women. Man, it's like I'm outnumbered here. It's
(05:31):
like where the guys, you know what I'm saying. Where
it's like girls everywhere, And I'm like, it's cool, it's great,
it's great. But um, just to celebrate you know, in
many different you know mediums, not just the show, but
also to the memes and all the other things that
have happened as a result of like just getting back
to the basics. I think I tried for so long,
(05:52):
and you know, and every time I put out an
album there's some meaning or purpose behind it. I really,
you know, had you know, kind of been in this
in this you know analysis paralysis thing that is all
about trying to create the next moment the music. Right,
So for me, it was like, let's stop for two seconds,
let's not put out an album because I had been
(06:14):
putting out records here and there, and these songs were great.
I did a record with elm May you know a
couple of records dropped during the pandemic, and I was
just like, yeo, I just really want to go back
and celebrate the classic music for two seconds and enjoy
all of the years. I never get a chance to
do that because I'm always focused. That's what it is.
Because I was trying to put my finger on the
(06:35):
feeling of because this this this FEELM felt like a
victory lap. It feels like a you know, we all
we all come up and we're all chasing things that
we're all working so hard and trying to come up
with the next thing. And what you're saying, I create
and create it. But then you get to a point
in your career where you're like comfortable and you're enjoying them.
(06:57):
I feel like I watched you do that this show,
like you you just rocking your crown like comfortably. Well,
when you've been doing it as long as I have,
part of it is analyzing it being perfect, But when
you finally just stopped for two seconds and maybe look
at all of the things that you've done that's a
lot to celebrate, and no one man is an island.
(07:17):
You know these songs either. You know, we produced it
together with other producers and writers and the creators that
really helped me, you know, kind of curate the entire show.
I think we were mindful of all that. Even where
we're right now, like this whole immersive experience where you know,
you begin to understand the world of where it came from.
That wall over there and normally is like full of
(07:38):
footage and things for me when I was a kid,
you know, my first talent show, you know, nineteen ninety
one footage of me at Atlanta talent search in Atlanta,
you know, and then just going through our the entire process.
But yeah, I think I have kind of um had
the opportunity to to to to celebrate. I ain't resting,
(07:58):
but I'm really celebrating the past, the music, the history
that I've been able to create. Seem like having fun.
I'm having fun one because I'm I'm choosing to. The
second half is I'm happy. Actually, I've never really taking
the time to stop and really you know, be happy.
I feel like my relationships are in a really good place.
(08:20):
I feel like I'm learning how to communicate better. How
do you do that? How did you do that? What
do you what do you attribute all of this too? Um? Listening,
You can hear somebody, but are you really listening? You know,
when you when you slow down and you begin to
understand what's priority. Family is priority to me. Love, real
(08:44):
love is priority to me. And I've had enough difficult
situations in my life to now be able to assess
the people who are really there for some reason there's
an agenda, and then the people who really love me,
whom I should love and I should appreciate, and I
can take my time and enjoy and celebrate with some
of those people I'm working with on this show. Some
(09:05):
of these people I don't work with, but there with
me and we're able to just talk. Some people I've
worked with but we no longer worked together, but now
we can just enjoy our relationship. You know. UM, a
lot of therapy that I was wondering that sounds like
this therapy, And yeah, there is, and some people are
a bit it's a bit complicated for people who out
(09:26):
there who probably analyze, you know, allowing someone to sit
in and listen to your conversation and try to help
you here your partner or here you know, your family
member or here. Really what you're suffering is all about
And um, I think a lot of that has to
do with my happiness. I think a lot of um,
(09:47):
you know, my feeling is confident and is exciting, is
having great partnership. I got an amazing partner in life,
Jennifer Goycha. She asked if I wanted Puerto Rican food
before we started. Yeah, actually Puerto Rican food. And I
was like, and then I'm going to tell you this
to what I have. My glam comes to the hotel
(10:08):
before I came here, and I guess they must do
glam for the show. Also, Yeah, and they were saying
how much that gen takes care of everyone on the set, Like, yeah,
it just takes care of everybody. They just were gushing
about her, how much they loved her. I was happy
to know that you have somebody in your life that
is that loved by your you know, yeah, everybody, and
(10:29):
my mom will like her and love her too, and
that's great, said she liked her. He that's hard to
accomplish that to those two things, but something had to
change in you to be able to even be open
to that. You had to, You had to shift something right.
Sometimes you go through ship to get to ship. You
know what I'm saying, You go through something to get
to something in life. Um, good friend of mine D J. Rogers,
(10:54):
used to say this to me all the time. It's like, Yo,
there were no harmps in life, there'd be nothing to
get over. Like God, Man, it's hard now I get it.
You live long enough, you begin to understand and as
I said, prioritize what makes you know love lesson you
learned in terms of like, um, just correct self correction,
self correction, I think, I think loving yourself and forgiving yourself,
(11:17):
you know, for whatever you you know may have you know,
wanted to accomplish and didn't you know, whatever you may
have wanted to do and you didn't get you didn't
get a chance to do it, or whatever you wanted
to have and you didn't have. Sometimes we'll place that
blame out. We'll look out when you take two seconds
to really, you know, be alone and look in the mirror.
(11:37):
Ain't nobody else there but you and that other person
in the mirror. So that means that's the one you
gotta get right. You know what, I'm saying, And you
gotta trust yourself. You gotta listen to yourself, and you
gotta believe without you know, any impression of what you
think that you might need to be doing based off
of what you're looking at or what someone else has,
how do you feel? And no matter what level you're
(11:59):
playing at, it you take the time to deal with
him or her in that mirror verse, you'll be a
better person. Accountability, accountability, patience with self too, because I
think you know, yeah, yes, yeah, yeah, we do things
for other people. We don't that we don't give ourselves
the same grace and the same kind of like patience,
(12:20):
and well we're all out here looking for something else
and not able to you know, be single along, be
single long enough to that sound crazy, you're saying that
because I'm never single long enough to even, but some
people are single for I had that feel for you
in those two months. Man, I was crazy. It was good.
(12:41):
But when good is what I got, what you got better.
It's funny seeing you on that stage roles and all
that energy, and I was like, I wonder how that
is to be in a relationship. Well, you clearly you
like you like a relationship I'm never like not single.
That did you like love? Right, I'm never single, I'm
I asked I love love. I'm just looking bad at it.
(13:04):
You know what I'm saying. You're getting better though, I'm
getting better, you know what I'm saying. Good partnership definitely,
you know, breeds great things. You know. Yeah, but if
you're not ready, it doesn't matter. The greatest person in
the world, if you can't contribute to it, it's not
gonna It starts with you self accountability again, you know,
when you're able to take that time and deal with yourself.
(13:24):
I'm curious what you can be happy with anybody. You
know what I'm saying. If I'm thinking about myself in
terms of therapy and all of that, the things that
one am I had to be accountable for, like saying
what I want was like a thing for me, Like
you know, like do you think somebody else should know
what you need or what you want? And yeah, that
was the thing I wonder for you? Like what was
(13:45):
your thing that you had to fix about you? Um,
I'm perfect what you're talking about not perfect? It might
be perfect now, by the way, self listen. One having
a partner who be honest with you, brutally honest with you,
and you can take that constructive criticism because you know
(14:05):
what comes from a good place and you've spent enough
time your friends enough and you've established trust. Trust is
the main, you know, component to happiness and success in
a relationship, being able to actually hear each other and
speak up. It's hard, right to to even know what
you really want and what really matters. I think most
(14:29):
of the time you we all just want to be heard. Yeah.
You know a lot of people when you say trust,
they assume because I know what you mean. Because some
people think trust means trust my partner not to cheat
or do this, or trust it. But it's also like
you have to trust somebody. Those things can become trivial,
you know, because you have to trust somebody able to
receive their information. Love, you have to trust their intentions.
(14:52):
You have to trust is way bigger than just whatever
people normally connected with. Yeah, trust her to tell you, hey,
that was whack or you don't like whatever the thing?
What however she I said, how I would say, yeah,
whatever the putoc you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I
(15:13):
don't know about that, playboy. But you have to trust
to be able to let somebody say that to you
and know and be okay with it. Yeah, Um, I
don't know about that, playboy. Well, again, just being able
to hear each other, Um, being able to I'm trying
(15:36):
to find the exact word of what it's called take
your time, your time the the idea and by the way,
ain't it's not like a a perfect thing, right, But
when you're in a relationship with someone and they're talking,
but you don't really get a chance to hear what
they're saying because you're trying to get your point across,
(15:57):
they're trying to get their point across, and by the
end of conversation, you've just been trying to fight your
one point as opposed to actually hearing each other. Right.
So in exercise that I've I've I've managed to work
into life, not just relationship and love, but life period. Um,
if you give me what it is that you're your
(16:19):
issue is, and I hear it, and then I'm able
to repeat it back to you before I respond, Right,
I'm sure I'm feeling like I don't know. Yeah, whatever
it is you didn't listen to me last night, You
ain'try because I didn't listen to you last night. This
is good exercise. This is therapy one. And then and
(16:39):
then you ask what else? Right? Is there? More? Is
there more? They give you more. You repeat back verbatim,
so that I know this exercise from therapy. It works,
but you actually use it, you do it. It actually works.
It resolves issues and it gets to the point, especially
when a person is nervous, because it's like, Okay, I
got a few sects to try to get a word
(17:00):
in and try to figure out how to get my
point or either, and then it turns into this argument
where I'm gonna one up you. Then you start insulting
each other. Okay, now I'm gonna one up you in
an insult and then before you know it, one party
can walk away and nothing's resolved. I didn't hear you,
You didn't hear me. We didn't get to any good
point of communication. So how can we now get to
a successful place where we're happy because we're gonna have
(17:22):
to sleep in the bed together, or to be around
the kids, or be around each other and do business together,
whatever it might be. But to be able to perception
check is what it's called. That's it to because the
perception to perception check greater than just hearing what you're saying,
to have a perception of exactly what it is you're saying,
(17:44):
and then repeat it, pervade him. You can't say you
didn't hear me because you repeated it to me one
rice feed therapy. By the way, and this ship really
does work. You're welcome. It's free game and a relation.
You want a successful relationship, you try this. I'm telling
you it's gonna work. Is then more she gives it
to you? Is there more by the time she's resolved
(18:05):
whatever her issue is smaller because it probably is something
much smaller than you whatever imagine it would be. And
maybe as a man, I'm insulted that you've even talking
to me the way you're talking to me. But if
I get past all of that and not just hear you,
we get to the end of it. Now we're at
the end of it. Nine times out of ten, I
won't even have a rebuttal or a reason to try
to come back at it. Sometimes you just want to
(18:27):
be heard. Sometimes you just want And by the way,
vice versa, women have to they have to try it
the same way for men because sometimes it might be
You know, it's hard for a guy to be vulnerable
and really tell you the ship that he's going through
as a man, any man, he has a hill to climb,
just I mean especially black man or minority men, men,
minorities in America and whatever minority group you choose to
(18:49):
stand with, right, It's hard. Right. So now I'm at
home and my house is supposed to be in order,
and I gotta be able to talk to you and
tell you exactly what I feel, be vulnerable with you,
only you. I gotta fight the rest of the world,
but I want to be able to really talk to
you and talk to you, tell you exactly what I'm feeling.
And you say, is there anything else? And I have
to think about it. I give you what else. Hopefully
(19:11):
you don't take too long. But if you eventually get
to a place you heard then and you're you're heard,
don't just yes, well no, don't just hear me like no,
don't just listen to me you say that, right, don't
just listen to me, really hear me. In process perception
check with each other. That's one gift, that's one lesson
(19:32):
that I feel like really helps us. That is not
a small thing. It's really hard to because the opposite
of that, just for anybody who's never been to therapy. Right, So, hey,
this bothers me, and then you feel you have to defend,
you feel attacked. So now you're engaging in war that
you can't win because neither one of you feels heard
or feels, you know, like it's no connection. So that's
(19:55):
normally what happens when people arguing. Well, by the way,
if you're dealing with the selfest part selfish partner, then
that might be an indication that this partner ain't for you. Right.
I'm not saying perception check with an idiot. I'm not
saying perception check with a person who's just selfish and
can't you know, allow you to have at least some
space to be able to be heard. I mean, these
are signs. Right in the event that the signs are
(20:17):
telling you it's not right, maybe you should listen. Oh
that's good. Yeah, sure, I'm so happy for you. I'm
happy for me to write happy for you. Everybody's I
don't know, you're in a good it's so good and
it's obvious. Thank you. I've seen you perform. You're always
great on stage. But you're like happy up there and
it resonates it different you know what we feel it.
(20:41):
I feel it because I know you. I don't know,
but I feel it. I'm sure other people tell you
this too. Yeah, it is the ability to have peace
right and not feel as though I have to prove anything.
I think that we all go through that I have
to prove something. That's what I want to ask you
about you having it because I feel like even you
(21:01):
as a kid coming up in this business and having
all this talent that you had, I feel like we
look at Michael Jackson and he was probably somebody you
probably looked at Michael's career. This is the goal, right,
This is the This is from what I know of
you and from your career. Um, do you ever feel
like you've reached that for yourself? Whatever that thing was.
(21:23):
I think everybody has their own stories. Some people start
later in their life, so they've had the opportunity to
live out certain experiences, gather what they feel about life,
have ambition, be ambitious, you know, have integrity or not
figure it out? Hook a crew, how you get there,
and then the career starts. For me, it started before
I had any of those experiences. No, I'm not quite
(21:45):
like Michael, but I got my own experience and I
have my own history, and I think it started by
someone else's interpretation of me. Right again, we all have this,
your kid, and we all have to be brought up.
So long as you're able to look at every experience
as a great one, good or bad, it'll work out
(22:05):
for you, don't You just be all right with the yeses.
Don't just be okay with the winds, except your losses,
except your moments that are perceived to be losses, to
only make you better for the future. Rather, you know, man,
it was a really difficult start, and you know I
had to make so many sacrifices in the beginning. Great
(22:26):
that you did, because now you can appreciate this moment
where you're standing on the mountaintop. But it's hard. It's
hard to to do that when you're in the middle
of it. I part of it is my upbringing. I'm
very happy that my mother raised me and my brother
the way that she did. Um, I'm really happy that
I had some elders in my life and also to
(22:47):
mentors um that are still there, consigiliaries that you know
are there to be able to yeah, to be able
to help you really understand, and then life is as
much as you choose to explore and educate yourself. You
ain't ship. You can't read right now. So if you
can take the time to sit down and and understand
(23:08):
what a person's life was, where they started, what this
story is, and gather something from it. Um But if
you are fortunate to have mentors, if you're fortunate enough
to have friends that will keep it real with you,
that will be with you through thick and thin, then
hopefully you know it'll lead you in the right direction.
But you know, part of that madness, if we look
(23:30):
at Michael's life and you use him as an example,
all of being in that made him the genius that
he is. You know, being in New York City with
Biggie and Puff when he first started Bad Boy Records,
and kind of being in the midst of you know,
him working on my album with l A. Reid as
he employed him to give me whatever it was swag.
(23:50):
It kind of dimmed the light that was my own
and gave me something. It gave me hustle, It gave
me tenacity and gave me you know, that man gave
me focus, because there ain't nobody more focused and got
more hustle than puff like in order to understand how
to get it, and also to motivate everybody around him
to drive at their best. If you ain't running at
(24:12):
a hundred, you ain't working with me. Get where I'm
at and then we'll see what we're talking about. Otherwise,
get what you can and I'll see you later. You'll
thank me later. But for real, that guy right there
had he was a motivator, and um, you know, everything
that I was able to pick up, I did manage
to use at some point. No, my first album wasn't
(24:32):
the most wildly successful album, but when I play it
out there, I got day one fans that love it
and rather they go back and they are a part
of it. And I feel fortunate to be able to
you know, have have those you know, those those songs
and those moments. But I really found my way to
my own light when I got to my way. You know,
I think too the thing I was thinking about, like,
(24:54):
I put you in a category of greats. Right, I'm
sure a lot of people do do you do for yourself?
Do you think of yourself that way? Yeah? Right? You
have to think of yourself. But some people would perceive
that as like, you know, being arrogant conceded. Yeah, it's
this is a basketball game in life, right if that's
(25:16):
a football, this is a football game in life. If
I go out on this field and I'm like tiptoeing around,
You're gonna knock my block off. I'm trying to get
to the hoop and I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go
through you. I'm gonna get through you to get where
I gotta go. You know what I'm saying. Like a
basketball player, the goal is the championship for the rings
or whatever the thing is. It's one shot at a time. Really,
(25:38):
it's one shot at a time. And understanding team ball.
That's that's basketball. For music is similar. No one man
is an island. It's understanding that collaboration is important. But
you gotta believe this ship. You gotta believe that, Yo,
I can do this. Anything I put my mind to,
I can make it. I can do it. To be
an artist, you have to be a little bit delusion.
(26:00):
You have to be a little nuts. Yeah, yeah, that's true.
You have to because you're thinking of it before anybody else.
So didn't exist before you thought of it. So you
have to be able to think about something and not
only are you thinking of it, but you're hating it.
You're creating it in real time, and more than likely
it's driving you crazy because it's in your mind and
(26:20):
no one else can see it. So you got to
manage to motivate, push the envelope, push yourself, and push
everybody around you to believe what you see. You know,
it's so good, but when you look at the grates
sometimes it makes them crazy. Chasing this. You're chasing m J,
(26:41):
or you're chasing whatever. If you're basketball player, you're chasing
Lebron or Jordan or whatever it is. Do you feel like,
next to m J, next to all the grades, that
you are there or are you still chasing a version
of that for yourself? Being able to walk in their
footsteps was the first thing. So I followed them, I
studied them, I trained the way they trained. I pushed
myself the way they put themselves. You know, I analyzed
(27:03):
what I knew versus what I didn't, and tried to
speak to a more broader audience and tried to reach
and reach and keep going. And it started here. But
then they managed to get here. Not the same style
of music, not the same genres, not the same production,
not but the same amount of commitment for me. Yeah,
(27:23):
because I've been carrying their torch, because I've been standing
on their shoulders. Now I'm in a position where I
look forward and now hopefully somebody's coming behind me standing
on my shoulder. Isn't gonna push it forward? Yeah, I'll
accept that. Yes, that that, by the way, was always
the plan. It was never to be big as Michael,
(27:46):
it was never to be big as Bobby, it was
never to be big as Stevie. I just wanted the journey.
I wanted to get there. I wanted to manage to
every day have someplace to go and someone to care
about me being there. Are actually going for it right
(28:08):
when you create, like, okay, I just have to have
this thing. I want the money. When you get the money,
what you're gonna do? You made it about the money.
It's over now. But when the journey is the destination,
you never stop reaching. I don't know if I ever stopped.
And so long as I'm able to be happy in
doing it, and hopefully you know, my fans will continue
to carry me in that process. And celebrate what I'm making. UM.
(28:32):
But the reason why I say that is because I
feel like I'm carrying a standard right greater than the
points that I'm putting on the board. The performers that
they were, the fact that their mikes were actually on
and they were dancing and singing and performing and giving
and leaving it on the stage. That's what I picked
up from them, and I want to make sure that
this generation doesn't forget about that part. Because it's easy
(28:55):
to just put your TV track on or either your
song on, go up and had a DJ just rocket
in that SI and the crowd likes it and it's fine,
and you gotta do the work. You gotta put the
work in. All the young cats, you know, I know
all of them better. Fact, you're so good with them.
I was wondering how much of that is, Like I
don't close my daughter nobody. You know what I'm saying.
I'm big bro in that way, UNC whatever you wanna
(29:17):
call me. I give the information because it's important for
us to continue to keep the legacy moving forward. Nobody
should call you. I mean, some of them young enough
to you know what I'm saying. I don't feel like
you on status yet I mean, I don't feel like
nowhere near it, you know what I'm saying. But I
don't feel like you got a lot to do. I know,
(29:39):
but I feel like you have. You should have comfort
in knowing that if you did nothing else, which I
know you will do more if you did nothing else,
like you've done enough. Do you feel like that? I
always feel like there's more, of course, yeah, But um,
but this comfort and knowing the comfort in owing, um,
(30:02):
it's part of it. But not feeling as though you
have to prove something. That's what I think I hear
you saying. Do I feel like I have to prove
something to anybody? No, I'm in my own light, and
I got my own ideas, and I'm and I'm pushing forward.
And again it's the integrity of what it is that
I collected in my life from these incredible grates that
(30:23):
now has made me who I am. So now I
can just be who I am. You can follow it.
It ain't gonna be easy. I ain't making it easy
for you, of course not. And then points do matter
in that light, you know what I'm saying. But you're competitive,
You're competitive a little bit, yeah, A little bit watch
(30:44):
what other people are doing, and they're people that are
inspiring you or or you just I'm encouraged. I don't
know that I'm you know, yeah, I'm I'm I'm I'm encouraged.
There are things that do inspire me because you know,
as I think, you know, our culture changes, um and
it flips, you know, music, R and B, rhythm and blues,
(31:05):
rather it turned into hip hop. Rhythm and blues to
me is the base of it all, jazz before rhythm
and blues. It's really the base of it all. And
that was just this ever morphing thing based off of
the persons in interpretation of it, an instrument that they
picked up, or how they chose to use their instrument.
Rather they it was spoken word and they were spitting
you know, bars, or rather it was you know Miles
(31:28):
through a horn, or rather it was you know, Jimmy
hendrick S through a guitar. You know. So for me
being able to contribute to any of it in this time,
I'm happy, um, rather legendary status. I'm carrying the torch
of everything that I have seen and the things that
(31:49):
I loved about them had everything to do with integrity,
had everything integrity for the music. Uh, and integrity for
the art and the legendary. That's exactly what I was
trying to get to. Yeah you got you did it. Yeah,
I don't know why I feel so hard, Like how
I feel so hard just accepting that? Yeah, what is that?
(32:10):
I don't know. I don't know. Is there a moment
I think something in our history. I'm sure you are alleged,
thank you, Yeah I did that, but I'm but I'm
telling you something in our history alone, the process is
like you'll be humble, like, yeah, be humble, would be
(32:31):
proud that you can even do any of it, because
that's part of what's driving it, you know this, And
it's also if you take yourself out of the equation,
because I think we're all here to share our gifts
with people, to write so that other people can take
from whatever they take from us. The fact that you
are a legend and you have built that, it's inspiring.
(32:53):
It brings joy to people. So if you don't acknowledge
and accept that, it's almost like you're not even giving
it to the you know what I mean, you don't
even allow the people to fully feel that. So what
part of it is this the idea that something is
going to be taken away from you in a moment's time.
Never know, But my point is it could be something
(33:16):
right that comes from you being a young kid coming up,
always trying to have a hit. No, that's life. Trying
to be hot, be not hot, that's life because in
the Okay, let's say it's one record that is not
as successful as the other records. Should I now not
look at you as a legend That happens with artists?
(33:37):
I think yes, But I think you have finally transcended that.
I think there are certain artists that if you never
make another record, or if you put out twenty horrible records,
it does not negate the legendary status that you've created.
That is not a thing that many people can claim.
It's a handful of artists that are still relevant, that
are still active, that could claim that status. Yeah, that's
(34:01):
it's a beautiful thing. Don't argue with me about I
ain't argue. I ain't argue. Did you hear what I said?
Thank you? Is there anything? Is there anything else? Is
there anything more? Using our exercise and listening. No, it's amazing,
it's amazing. It seems inspiring Man, it's to me what
makes the show so special because it's like you feel
that like it's just whatever we should talk about that
(34:24):
I saw this and was it the doc or is
it the master class thing when you talked about prepping
for a show like this that you do meditate with
the dancers and the crew and ye is that something
you is that new in your life that they so
since therapy before, actually, transcendental meditation was the first entrance
into meditation for me, and then other you know, forms
(34:44):
of meditation. Um. I really picked up as I begin
to kind of, you know, just invest in this idea
of mental health and how we sustain being able to
talk to someone, having a therapist or either someone who
is of sound mind to be able to share and
you can be vulnerable and have trust with is important.
But then there are things that we can do to
(35:06):
really help foul um. You know, our thinking and all
the things that we're collecting. Meditation is how I do that.
Trans Transcendental meditation was the first way of doing it.
It was like, you know, basically a mantra, it's a word,
and then you kind of, you know, my therapist keeps
trying to get me to do it, and I just
want to. Silence is the hardest thing for any of
(35:27):
us to cope with, especially thinkers and incredible people, legendary
people like yourself. You want to get. It's so bad,
believe it or not. Though transidental meditation teaches you not
to run from that, right. But again, there are other
deeper forms of medication, meditation, meditation that um manages to
(35:53):
really hit. But by the way, medication versus meditation, no
medication versus meditation. I would always go with meditation. But
it's very hard, especially for people who have a great
deal of pressure and expectation placed on them, because there's
this idea of having to live up to something and
you're then plagued with this activation of your brain. And
(36:15):
you now managed to get it in this place where
it's just constantly constantly throwing your ideas throwing you and
which which one sticks? And what should you do? What
shouldn't you do? Oh, I'm gonna just I feel this,
I'm gonna do it, and I don't do that. Don't
When you managed to slow it down and be in
silence with yourself, rather you meditate, and you had for
me it started off at five minutes and three intervals
(36:38):
throughout an entire day. Then I managed to get up
to twenty minutes. Twenty minutes is really there's a is
a that's a standard. Twenty minutes three times a day,
three times a day. You gotta do it. Rather you
just choose manage to get up early enough to just
sit there in silence, even if your mind is going.
Just sit there in silence. Don't do anything. Don't pick
(36:59):
your phone up, don't answer the phone, don't respond to anybody,
give yourself and what happens to you. You just you're
in a You're in a state right The most important
part of our entire being is our state of being.
What state of being are you in? Are you suffering?
(37:19):
Are you not suffering? Those are the two states. There's
no other states to be in. You're the suffering or
you're not suffering. Is that it is real? It is
only two states a little. You're either suffering or you're not.
And if you managed, if you've managed to put yourself
in a beautiful state of being right where you're not suffering,
(37:42):
then you can manage to allow of universe to actually
unfold for you. That's good because what's intended to happen.
Will You can try and funk it up as much
as you want to, but if it's intended to happen,
it's gonna keep coming around until you finally get it.
You ever say, like, man, I knew something told me.
That's the universe is telling you. Moved this way, do this.
(38:05):
But if you're not in the right states, you're not
gonna catch it. You're not gonna see it. And if
you're constantly in this hectic state of mind and state
of being and suffering and trying to live or trying
to do this, you ain't gonna get to it. That's
so good. Suffering or not suffering two states, that's it.
There's two states of being. Yes, that's it. You're either
(38:27):
a suffering state or not the suffering states. But if
the answer is yes, I'm suffering, then what is the
Then that's part of the problem. Okay, so now you
know you're suffering. Now let's get into why you are suffering.
You're begin to open it up, You're begin to understand. Man,
it was something that I had in my mind that
I thought I needed to fix as a kid, I
was three. I didn't know any difference any better, but
that became employ of how I look at my entire life.
(38:50):
Somebody told me no, so it was always no. So
I always thought no. I always thought I couldn't do that,
or I thought I shouldn't do that, or that was
the wrong thing to do. Is this deeper work? You
know what I'm saying. It forces you to look at
the why. It forces you to go back and speak
to your your child sometimes, like get into the mind
of where you're, where you were and when you picked
up some idea, and why are you're suffering? Is this
(39:13):
something you learned and something somebody taught you. It's something
that I've experienced and I managed to see for myself
in life through meditation, through you know, a great deal
of just patience with myself, studying, trying to get myself
in a better state of being where I'm not walking
around just suffering all day. Were you suffering for a
long time? What was the cause of that? My suffering?
(39:37):
I think UM primarily is the expectation to live up
to something um or either something that was missing. Right.
I need to add something more to my life because
I'm not happy in this present moment. I gotta get
to that other thing, you know, does help you define
it too, Right, if you if you don't even know
(39:58):
who you're recognize yourself, Frank, if you, I think more
than likely, Um, all of us are kind of stuck
in the suffering state. It's the state that you choose
to set yourself in. When you're actually meditating, you're more
than likely calm enough and out of to let you
and I and this enables you right from being able
(40:20):
to see what it is that you're dealing with. I'm frantic,
I gotta just go figure out. Just but wait a minute,
just slow down, just just stop for two seconds. Then
you realize it's not as pressing as you thought it was.
I'm not even I don't know why I'm stressed out.
I'm not even suffering. That's what it does to you, Right,
do you have that thought like why am I even?
What can I do about it? Let me focus on
(40:41):
the positive. I saw you telling the crowd that a
little bit on the first night of the show. You
told everybody turn their phones off to be in the moment,
and yeah, be present, be present, And then you said,
I don't want to sound like the old guy, old man,
or I forget what the word as I sound getting older, right,
(41:03):
And you know it's these mantras and things that older
people always coming up with, like these wise tales and
you know what I'm saying in the in the Land
of the Blind and whatnot? Man is king ship like that?
You know what I'm saying, But I didn't. I didn't
want to, you know, serve it as rhetoric or either
anything like that. But yo, are we able to be
okay with no as much as we are with yes,
(41:26):
winds as much as we are with losses because they're
the same. We don't see it, but they are. I've
never heard it said like that. Hey, listen, if you manage,
I've heard you know you learn from your mistakes. Everything
is okay. Why would you? Everything is a process. You
learn from your I learned something from mama. But I've
never heard Yes. It's the same as no. It should
(41:46):
be in our minds. We can't see it that way
because we're all kind of like looking for the win only.
But there's measures, you know, there's measures in life. There's time,
there's there's a moment for everything, and nothing is happening
by coincidence. Everything is intended to happen. You just don't
(42:09):
fight it if you choose or try to just gonna
make their process longer. So good. How are you doing
with like, um, because it's just like growing USh right now?
How did you because you started so young, you're grown,
You're still you're still not uncle status. I wouldn't say
I am. I'm saying if you're like six years old,
(42:32):
are you're trying to you want to call me up?
That's cool? Um? But how do you do? How how
have you dealt with age? Because because famous people and
sometimes that challenging, especially when you start so young and
you looked at as a kid or you looked at
as this young you know, and now you're like a
grown man four kids, Like, was there ever a weird
(42:54):
transition for you? And that? Yeah? I mean it became
painstakingly obvious when I had to deal with a thirteen
year old teen year old who you know or like
in need of parenting, and you know, as complicated as
it is to be our parents, we get it now
that we're on the other side of it. As an entertainer,
I don't know I think that uh in you know
(43:18):
the eyes of my fans, I guess I'm as old
as the experience that they've had, rather they had it then,
or whether they're still having it now. So I don't
know if music is able to give you age in
that way. I think if anything, it preserves your age
because you go back to that moment. And for me,
I'm actually working my way back in it every time
(43:39):
i'm performing it. Rather i'm you know, doing a handstand
or you know, you're still moving trying to get the
body right in order to had that shirt off whatever,
you know what I'm doing any weird old man, you know,
sometimes the dance as you get older, it starts it
has a little some of my favorites the dance. A
little later on it starts to get well, you're showing
no signs of that. Well, for the performance had always
(44:01):
been a major part of who I was, So it's
always kept me young because that's that was the fun
part of it, you know. But not everybody makes that
transition from child to young to grown comfortably, especially people
in the public eye. They fight it and we see
them fighting, and it's never it's always uncomfortable to watch it.
(44:21):
But I don't think we've ever seen any kind of
weird transition. Maybe internally you had one, but we didn't
see it. You weren't like I think, if anything, that
transition probably UM was difficult between me and my mom,
and very difficult because of our work relationship that then
became family relationship, right, And I think ultimately it had
(44:42):
always just been about my mom wanting me to be
the best or have the best or not go through
any kind of pain, which is her own suffering. Because
she's thinking about what she went through and not looking
at me for where I am suffering. She must be
proud now. She's very rout now because she understands that Um,
(45:06):
no matter what she may have wanted, what was intended
to happen, would we were always going to be good.
We're always going to get be be where we were,
and our relationship as mother and son is more important
than anything. And now we can have all the other stuff.
And she got these grand babies, and she got grand babies,
and she got to deal with four Yeah, and she
(45:28):
loves the other model. Of course they do. I hear
it's easier to be a grandparents, more fun being a grandparents.
You get to do all the fun stuff. Yeah, until
you meet Sinko, my oldest son, he's fourteen. Yeah. But
now they have their code. I don't know if I
go through the thing with grandma the way normal. You know,
(45:49):
everybody else says, you know when grandparents get their kids,
they just let them get away with everything. Because my
mom she still want it. Yeah, she's still she's still
on it. Yeah. How's being a a dad changed you? Uh?
And a new in a recent kind of girl dad now?
And yeah, yeah, girl dad has definitely made me soft.
(46:11):
I was just in a jumping house, no socks. Yeah,
I went pumping patching. Yeah, by the way, I did
it with my boys too, But with your daughter is
a different thing. Like I'm literally walking her through everything
and trying to make sure I'm I'm the bodyguard you.
You're on stage last night, then he was at the
(46:31):
after party, and then he was at the pumpkin patch
pumpkin patching and getting ready for school. You know they yep,
you got what you need. You know, noticed something yesterday?
You miss class and I didn't miss class. That was tutoring. Okay,
got it great. Just want to make sure I let
you know, I see it. What's going on here? You're
on it? Yeah, of course you gotta be. You know
what I'm saying that my responsibilities as a dad is
(46:53):
more important than anything that I do here. You know,
that's what changed me to be able to say that
I could be you know that for my kids, I
suffered a long time, you know, analyzing uh and making
moves based off of the fact that I didn't have
a dad. I wanted things to be perfect because I
(47:15):
didn't have it right, or I wanted to try to
do the perfect thing in order to make sure that
I didn't make my son feel like I felt my
own suffering had nothing to do with him. Isn't that crazy?
How that does it to us our parents? Like I
just did my last episode, I said with Kelly Rowland,
and we're talking about daddy issues and it's like for
women especially, you know, daddy issues is like a big thing,
(47:36):
but we never really talked about, like men, what that does?
What that does? Yeah, well, not being there or either
being around, but you know, kind of being an absentee
um And probably because it's just the standards of where
life was for me and back in those times. You know,
it's always kind of been this idea, you know, don't cry,
(47:56):
you soft if you cry. I don't believe in that.
I believe that your kids can't cry, um, but they
need to get up. I need to keep moving. Um.
You know, it's all right to be vulnerable. It's all
right to to have moments. Uh, don't share them with everybody,
because they ain't everybody's business. But to have a dad
that you can talk to and you know, be able
(48:17):
to be transparent with to help your kids. I think
it's important to have that for men in our time.
Earlier it probably wouldn't. I can't say it because my
dad wasn't that I wasn't. I didn't have that kind
of relationship with with my dad, you know, but change
everything about me. I think it made it gave me
true responsibility, you know, it gave purpose for those late, late,
(48:41):
late nights. Like I did that anyway in my life,
but as a father, you do it for a different reason,
with a different outcome, or at least expectation for an outcome.
Are you a good dad? Do you think now that
you though I can be tough as sometimes, you know,
and I think I managed to make everybody feel like
I'm near dad, everybody's daddy kind of sort of everybody's dad.
(49:10):
I just want everybody to, you know, to be the
greatest man. And what do you ask God foremost? What
do you pray for? What do I pray for most?
Because it seems like you have everything his grace covering. Um,
I pray more than anything given thinks that I'm able
to pray, that I actually have the voice to be
(49:31):
able to share it, the fact that He's chosen you
know me, and also two people around as vessels for
some purpose that could help me through life and also
to help a lot of people. UM. I pray for
my children. I pray for my loved ones. I pray
for those who are my soul circle, the people who
(49:53):
circle I love that, Yeah, the people who matter you know,
for life, and UM will affect those people who because
by the way, in this soul circle are all people
who affect each other. Rather it's my mom or my children,
or my ex wife or you know, people who have
been there. You know what I'm saying, that ship gets hard,
but you know, UM, but praying a covering over for
(50:16):
the sake of making sure that as we go into
the next season or whatever life has to offer. For
my kids who have kids, you know that they don't
bring the same issues that we had in hours into
this that we can remedy and fix some of those things.
You know, what do you think now? Because everybody's purpose?
I think, well, no, some people they're born, they feel
(50:38):
like they have a purpose, they know what it is.
Sometimes they change throughout our lives. Do you feel like
you know what yours is? Um? We know it has
something to do with music so far, but I think
um after that, UM, Rather it's it's an example of
a business because business has obviously been a part of
(51:00):
my life, not as much as a priority, but to
be recognized as a businessman that speaks through that. I mean,
I've been I've made plays, I've I've done things, I've
had involvement in major things. And also to more than anything,
have been um oddly enough for user, for other people
(51:21):
to be able to be introduced into spaces and have
benefited from that, don't get me wrong, UM, but to
now be in a position to prepare people and to
create a standard, a standard that we can benefit from,
an ecosystem that I think that we can benefit from
better than happen to rely so much on infrastructure that's
(51:44):
been set before we got here. So that's really my
next focus. So you're like going to go back to
the student. I know you're in this moment, but oh
my done. Okay, no, no, no, no no done. Matter of fact,
I don't care what business I'm in, I'm going to
you will make music. And also to either be a
part of creativity in that space of music, because it's
(52:05):
something that I know so well. I understand what it is,
I understand how to do it, and I don't take
it for granted. But I love to be able to
be creative in that space. But business that's in a
lifestyle that is aspirational, that is a part of our
culture that leads to some sense of knowledge for all
of our people to be able to continue to collect
(52:26):
it and utilize it or either benefit from it. Something
that's happening already. Is there, is there, There's there's many
there's many things. You know. Um, you know, me and
l A Read have been working together, you know, we
we hadn't been working together for a very long time. Um,
you know, so to be able to be back in
(52:47):
each other's lives, and I think that he's been such
a valuable commodity, you know, for so many industries and
you know, and so many incredible entities. But now to
be able to come together and have ownership in what
we're building for a future making a label. It's gonna
(53:07):
be that, and then something a network and a label
or something like this. Very mysterious. Well, but I'm excited
whatever it is being mysterious because you know we're in
the process. But you've seen us together, right, you better
watch this, you know what I'm saying. But we we've
(53:27):
been around each other, um recently, you know, just just
reminding ourselves of why we got started and what it
was about, where it came from, looking at and analyzing
the things that have happened in life, what could have
been better, what we could have done differently, and the
importance of our legacy and the aspiration of what it
is that we created, you know, and really being a
(53:50):
product of it through and through, not just talking it
because we're talking a lot a lot of us talk
about this collaboration and my brothers and we're sticking together, No,
really do and it sticking together and building you know
this sounds exciting. Yeah, did this surprise you? Well, I
(54:11):
didn't know it would be as wildly successful as it was.
Thank God for Eddie Bishop Long who created watch this.
I don't know if y'all ever heard that, you know,
I'm you know as a um as a kid, his
sermons I used to go to and he would always
do this, watch this, watch this. Kind of picked it up,
did he? He didn't put that part together? Now, Yeah,
(54:32):
I just my own little remix up. But um and
it was a part of you know, confessions, like it's
always been on the record, but I never kind of
gave it a little visual. But by the way, memes
were not a part of that culture at that time.
Um And that was just having fun, man. But y'all
definitely watched this because there's something coming. I can't wait
(54:54):
till you're ready to talk about it. Yeah, I look
forward to that. Yeah, it's gonna be fun. Thank you
for today, Thank you for them easing weekend. We're gonna
need be roll. I need to show people who please
come back. You're gonna do it for more, right, because
I keep telling people got to see this. Sadly enough,
I think by the time this is there will be
it'll be over. So um yeah, please should there be
a documentary or something around it? It It has to be.
(55:17):
It works all stuffing, it's really magical. It really you
bring in so much joy to people. Yeah, very happy
to be able to have done it now and be
on the lookout for new music next year. And you
are a legend. I am a legend.
Host
Angie Martinez
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