October 29, 2019 • 18 mins
Ashleigh and Tim open up the conversation to give the backstory on Are You With Me, feeling fulfilled and how spending our time wisely influences our lives more than we think.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Ashley Spidel and you are listening to
Are you with Me? And this means that we didn't
screw up our trailer and that you came back for
more and we are so excited, so welcome Yeah, so
welcome back. We're so excited. Oh yeah, and you better
have rated us too, I mean five stars. Yeah, five
(00:20):
stars are preferably a comment. There we go. That's a
lot to ask of someone. Yeah, okay, now I feel
like it's seem like that's like it's someone to like
and comment on your photo, A like will do well.
I would really appreciate if more people started liking and
commenting on my photo. But that's let's not get into
Instagram right now. We're so excited that you guys are
with us right now. And Tim and I've been doing
(00:41):
podcasts since before, like podcasting was a thing. It's true.
When I was in college, I interned for Ryan Seacrest
and I fell in love with radio option and I
then started a show called The Melting Pot did like
I don't know, two episodes. Yeah, and now kind of
here we are with are you with me? And we're
so so excited? Can I say that one more time?
Not only have Tim and I worked together for all
(01:03):
these years, but we've also been together for even longer, Yeah,
since the early two thousand's. Okay, let's not age ourselves here,
all right. We could have been any age in the
early two thousands. Did you say early two thousands or
just the two thousands, which is nine, Sure, we could
have been No, it's not that one to five in
(01:25):
the late two thousands would be like oh five to
oh nine a wider Oh god. Anyways, we could have
been any age in the two thousands, like seven years old,
maybe even I don't want to age myself, all right,
that's true. That's true. Well, when we were rebranding our
show and re launching with I Heart, we wanted to
(01:46):
make it about the human connection, and the phrase are
you with me is a very to us. It's a
very specific way that we connect with each other out
in public, or at a party, or whenever and wherever
we need to. Let us give you an example of
kind of how this would work. Okay, So ash and
I are walking through the groceries, Beyonce and jay Z
(02:09):
are walking down the aisle towards us, rather than you know,
causing a scene like Ashley is doing right now. Well,
just so you know, it's not in my makeup to
do any of those things out loud. That is truly
how I would be behaving on the inside. You were
never an autograph asker. No, no, no, that's not my thing.
Like I found girl within, and I try and keep
(02:30):
my cool if you will. I don't necessarily think that's cool,
but like, okay, so Ashley's keeping her cool. She would
look at me and she would say, are you with me? Yes?
And I would nonchalantly look around the room and see
what could be here, what should I be looking for?
And then all of a sudden I would figure out
what exactly I'm talking about what's going on? So that
we would hope that if it was Beyonce and jay
(02:53):
Z walking towards us, you would have realized that within
like three seconds, Yeah, this is I was trying to
use the bigger than life fixing. Okay, okay, I like that,
And so all of a sudden I would look figure
out it was them and look back at Ashley, and
in that moment is when we would click of like
I got your reference, and that clicking, that's exactly what
we wanted to run with here and here we are
(03:14):
running with it because you know, life is all about
connecting with each other, lifting each other up, and really
feeling fulfilled. Absolutely, And there is truly nothing more frustrating
than leaving a night out with friends or family and
getting in the car and saying to yourself or saying
to the other God, that sucked. What a waste of
(03:34):
time a man. And we talked We've talked about this
so many times. Should I say that, we talked about
this so many times with friends who like, well, you know,
we'll go out with for whatever reason, and like, you
get a babysitter, you plan the night out, you clear
your schedule. By the way, we don't have kids. No,
(03:58):
I just started sweating there first. Oh my god, the
pressure already. But when you you know, when you put
yourself out there and you clear your schedule and you
go and do whatever that is, and you leave feeling
worse than when you got there, absolutely, not only the
time and the money spent there, and you feel like
it's a waste or you feel unfulfilled afterwards. I hate
(04:18):
that feeling. That's the worst you essentially, that feeling like
that you feel worse leaving than when you first arrived.
I don't like that. And you know, as we continue
to grow, whether it's personally, professionally, etcetera, time really becomes
more and more valuable. Absolutely how we spend it can
drastically impact our life. You go out, you have a
(04:40):
great night, and the next day you're gonna be on
on the high of like, oh my god, that was
so much fun. Or the opposite, You go out, you
have an awful night and like you're the whole day
you're thinking like, well, that was a waste of time, money, energy, etcetera.
I completely agree. So we wanted to bring friends together
on the show every week to create fulfilling content that
we'll leave you refreshed and motivated and ready to tell
(05:02):
everyone you know to listen to our sholf. Okay, So
as you are listening to are you with me? And
as we are asking each other these questions, we want you,
as you're listening along, to also be answering these questions yourselves. Um,
and I want to know when was the last time
that you felt fully fulfilled me, well, not only you,
(05:26):
And I think that's kind of what I was just saying, Like,
I want everybody listening to be asking themselves the same question.
I think that that's a very important question and it's
something that we should be looking at in our daily lives, like,
not only does everyone around us need to be taken
(05:46):
care of and things need to be executed and handled
and loved and you know, all the things, but so
do we ourselves. And if we're not going to do
that for ourselves, then who's going to. You can't rely
on other people to do that for you, so we've
got to take care of ourselves. So yeah, I am
asking you, Tim, but I'm also asking for people that
(06:10):
are listening along too. When was the last time you
truly felt fulfilled? Okay? I have mine? I know it
because I think I try, like you said, I try
to be reflective on when I do feel fulfilled, because
to add more of that to your life is important,
and trip away when you don't feel fulfilled even more important. Completely,
(06:30):
So I think the last time I felt fulfilled was
ash and I had a good group of friends over
last week for dinner and we had we were outside
on our patio eating sushi, drinking wine, and we were
talking to crazy conversation that we were roaring, laughing and
talking about who our celebrity hall pass would be to
(06:53):
getting super serious and talking about like the state of
the Union and politics and we're we see our future
going as we're all, you know, thirty something year old
thinking about having a family and having kids in this
current political environment, et cetera. That to really be able to,
you know, go from celebrity hall pass to politics and
(07:17):
everywhere in between. Two passing the phone around and putting
on songs that you love to finding out that someone
is like a foreigner fan to me not really know
any foreigner is to finding out that some random person
is like obsessed with Selena gome As a new song
that you would never suspect that. Do you feel like
it's the content that you guys were discussing at dinner
(07:40):
or do you feel like it's more the connection that
you guys all have or is it a combination of both,
or like, what is it about all of that that
made you feel so fulfilled afterwards? I think it's a
mixture of both, because when you have people together that
you're close with and you're hanging out, there is that connection.
(08:01):
But also when there is that connection, the conversation never ends,
like there's never a dead you know, a dead lull
of just like eating your food and not saying anything.
It's the opposite, and it's like, oh my god, it's
twelve five am, I need to go home because I
need to be awake at seven am tomorrow morning. So
where it's like you don't want it to end and
(08:22):
you're not just sitting there like I want this to end. Yeah, okay,
it's okay. It's ten fifteen pm. I could probably head
home now. This would be an acceptable time to head out.
Whereas this the opposite of like, okay, everyone needs to
get the hell out. There's something to be said for,
you know, making good friends and keeping really good company,
and that's not an easy thing to do, especially nowadays.
(08:45):
Especially I don't care what it is. It doesn't matter
how old you are, it doesn't matter where you live,
it doesn't matter, you know, Like with social media, that
is a whole other can of worms that's made all that,
I think even more difficult. But there is something to
be said for having a good group of people around you. Absolutely.
When I was a kid, I was always told like,
(09:07):
show me your friends and I'll show you who you are.
And I that's always stuck with me because when you
if you surround yourself with people that are bad people,
whether it's like actually not good hearted people or they're
just negative people or whatever some way bringing you down,
that's gonna be a reflection on you. And when they
meet Brad and they know that they're associated with Tim,
(09:29):
they're gonna think, oh, wow, Tim has really awful friends
or whatever that may be. And that is not ever
a good look. If it's like when you introduce someone
and it's like, oh, your friends or you know this
person or that's your family, you want to be proud
of that. You don't want to be like, who, yeah,
we're acquaintances. You wanted to kind of be the opposite. No. Absolutely,
that completely speaks volumes as to who you are is
(09:53):
the company that you keep. Okay, so, actually, what was
the last time you were fulfilled? For me? I think
so if anybody, anybody that knows me personally knows that
I had an amazing relationship with my grandmother, who was
she died about a year ago. She's ninety five years old,
amazing and she acted like I don't know, a seventy
(10:17):
year old woman or something like that. And my entire
life growing up, my parents taught me that you are
so lucky that you have grandparents that live close to you,
that you that love you, that want to be with
you and take care of you and spend time with
you and all the things. And um So, I was
taught that at a really young age, and I started
going over to my grandparents house as soon as I
(10:37):
could drive. Well, I've done that now my entire life,
because again I'm really young. Um So, I used to
do that, and I would go over there every single
week and I would drive out. It didn't matter how
far it was, or how bad traffic was or whatever.
It was. Both her and I fully looked forward to that.
(10:59):
And then there got to be a point in her
life where she needed more and more help. And it
wasn't just these you know, fun outings that we would
have or these amazing conversations that we would have just
sitting around the house. It would be you know, all right,
we have to execute some errands here, and it it
became me like helping her, and then it evolved and
it changed over time into more and more of that,
(11:21):
which I absolutely love doing because I completely, a thousand
percent loved her with all of my heart, and it
I truly felt fulfilled, even though at times it got
really difficult when I was helping her, when I was
there every week with her, and when we were just
(11:42):
spending that like quality time together when somebody likes highlight
of their week, tells you that it's you when they
come over and all they want to know about is
what's going on and what your opinion is on this,
that and the other, and wants to gossip with you
and wants to just do all the things. And I
think that was the last chunk of time where I
(12:04):
felt like fully fulfilled, when I was not only doing
an active service but also spending time with my most
favorite person in the entire world. So you haven't felt
fulfilled an over a year. That makes me feel really
awful about No, I don't think so. I don't think
that that's how it goes. I think that you know,
(12:25):
there's many things in life that can make us feel fulfilled. Um.
I truly feel sometimes when I take that extra time
to go on a hike myself, or go to yoga
or go do whatever it is meditate, like certain specific
things for myself like that fully fulfills me too. But
when we're asking each other, you know what, when was
(12:48):
the last time you truly felt like majorly fulfilled. That
is a different way of feeling fulfilled than when I
just take that time out for myself to give myself
a little bit of love and care and you know,
go men to tait or go to work out or
whatever that is. And that is special because so much
of you know, the quote American culture isn't incorporating your
(13:10):
elders or your grandparents into your life. It's so true.
It's become more of like a chore of just like
put them, you know, go visit them on a holiday,
bring them a birthday gift, say hi to them, and
almost like I put them in a home. How about it?
I feel like those homes are popping up everywhere, and
that's just what everyone's doing. Is just if they have
the money, they're able to just put them in a home,
(13:32):
and I have to deal with them and hire somebody
else to take care of that. And it's almost like,
I don't know, I feel like it's patronizing. I think
it would be such a strange thing to sit back
and benee years old like your grandma was, and have kids, grandkids,
great grandkids all around you and like no one wants
to come up and speak with you. It's like, but
(13:52):
you're sitting there thinking like, I'm the whole reason that
all of you are here without me. I am the
only common denominator here, absolutely, because you wouldn't be here
without me. Absolutely. It's got to be the most bizarre feeling.
And then to have nobody to be able to share
that with. Is that school is that's happening around you
because you know your family members they don't necessarily get
(14:13):
it because they're not in the same kind of age
bracket as you, or they're your children and your grandchildren
and whatever. And your friends. You don't have as many
friends as you once did because you all are getting
to a certain age and who knows, you know, maybe
don't have your brain as much as you once did either. Yeah,
it's got to be a really confusing and difficult experience.
(14:34):
Getting old. Life is really just about living to the
fullest and feeling fulfilled and what figuring out what exactly
it is that lifts you up and makes you feel
fulfilled and also feeling alive, Like there's nothing better than
when you're doing something on vacation with people that you
love or want to be with and you're like, I
(14:56):
feel alive right now. This is an amazing feeling. It
it's or let's say, like it's even if it's not
that you're on vacation and it's just that your your
job lifts you up and makes you feel No, I'd
rather be on vacation. Yea too, haw WHI you're at
the office. I'll take horse. Yeah, but let's be true, Like,
let's be honest, like we all want we don't want
(15:16):
a job. We want to work and feel fulfilled and
have our That's what we spend majority of our time doing.
It really is working. So we want to feel good
every single day when we're showing up where we are.
It's weird when what's the point. It's weird when you
like start a new job or maybe you move offices,
move locations, whatever that may be, and you realize the
people that you did spend time with that you don't
(15:39):
spend time with and how much I mean you spend
more time with them than you do probably your certific
and other Yeah, it's true, your own friends or your
own family. I mean, if you're working forty fifty six
hours a week, I mean that's more time than you
spend with anyone, it's true. And if you hate them,
it's awful. But if you love them, you, like you said,
you don't feel like you're actual working. And you know,
(16:02):
I was once told by a psychologist he said, mood
and behavior is like has a very big correlation. And
when you are in a good mood and when you're happy,
you need to take a step back and think to yourself,
how am how am I happy right now? And how
can I get to this place in the future. Then
(16:24):
when you're in a bad mood or in a bad place,
you need to take a step back and think, how
did I get to this place? And how can I
not get to this place in the future. And when
I was told this, it was such a powerful thing
because I thought, when you are in a good mood
and when you are happy, you always want that moment
to never really end. You always wanted just to roll
through into the next day or evening or whatever time
(16:48):
that you're going into the next up of your day
or life. And it's hard to sometimes mirror that and
bring that with you if maybe you're leaving a really
happy home to go to work and work is unhappy,
or your home was unhappy whatever that may be. It's
hard to carry that through. But if you recognize, oh
what is it that makes me happy? How could I
bring that forward and always be happy? It's a game changer. Absolutely,
(17:12):
it's so interesting. I really love that, Like it sounds
so simple and it sounds so well. Yeah. I mean,
of course, if only it was that easy. But I
think in order to be present, like to be present
in the moment, it will make it easy. You know,
when you're when you're getting angry, to take that step
(17:32):
back and or getting into like a dark negative space,
to take that step back and to figure out like
how to not continue that downward spiral and to move
back forward into a more positive space, or when you're
in that positive space, how to stay there. I love
that just being more present day to day and through
your like emotions and you know, because we all we
(17:55):
all go through roller coasters of emotions throughout our days. Yeah.
I mean I've slowly wake up piste off every single morning,
and I wake up singing songs every morning. Oh god, Tim,
we really balanced each other out. But you know, throughout
the day, you you know, maybe you're upset, you can
get the little those thinkabout graphic for example, your oad
rage whatever, or your coffee the coffee machine doesn't brew
(18:17):
the coffee the right way, or you you have to
empty out all the capsules because the you know, the
machines overflowing or whatever. That this is really a looking
to timidize life right now what really ticks us off?
But throughout those days I try and just be reflective
and mindful of like, Okay, those little things really don't matter,
carry on and be in the kind of like the
(18:38):
steady mood that you were in the whole entire time. Yes,
life is about balance, right, Yes, we hope you continue
on this journey with us. Please do Yeah, and tune
in next week and every week after that, and again,
like we said, listen, subscribe and rate us, give us
those five stars.
Hey, this is Ashley Spidel and you are listening to
Are you with Me? And this means that we didn't
screw up our trailer and that you came back for
more and we are so excited, so welcome Yeah, so
welcome back. We're so excited. Oh yeah, and you better
have rated us too, I mean five stars. Yeah, five
(00:20):
stars are preferably a comment. There we go. That's a
lot to ask of someone. Yeah, okay, now I feel
like it's seem like that's like it's someone to like
and comment on your photo, A like will do well.
I would really appreciate if more people started liking and
commenting on my photo. But that's let's not get into
Instagram right now. We're so excited that you guys are
with us right now. And Tim and I've been doing
(00:41):
podcasts since before, like podcasting was a thing. It's true.
When I was in college, I interned for Ryan Seacrest
and I fell in love with radio option and I
then started a show called The Melting Pot did like
I don't know, two episodes. Yeah, and now kind of
here we are with are you with me? And we're
so so excited? Can I say that one more time?
Not only have Tim and I worked together for all
(01:03):
these years, but we've also been together for even longer, Yeah,
since the early two thousand's. Okay, let's not age ourselves here,
all right. We could have been any age in the
early two thousands. Did you say early two thousands or
just the two thousands, which is nine, Sure, we could
have been No, it's not that one to five in
(01:25):
the late two thousands would be like oh five to
oh nine a wider Oh god. Anyways, we could have
been any age in the two thousands, like seven years old,
maybe even I don't want to age myself, all right,
that's true. That's true. Well, when we were rebranding our
show and re launching with I Heart, we wanted to
(01:46):
make it about the human connection, and the phrase are
you with me is a very to us. It's a
very specific way that we connect with each other out
in public, or at a party, or whenever and wherever
we need to. Let us give you an example of
kind of how this would work. Okay, So ash and
I are walking through the groceries, Beyonce and jay Z
(02:09):
are walking down the aisle towards us, rather than you know,
causing a scene like Ashley is doing right now. Well,
just so you know, it's not in my makeup to
do any of those things out loud. That is truly
how I would be behaving on the inside. You were
never an autograph asker. No, no, no, that's not my thing.
Like I found girl within, and I try and keep
(02:30):
my cool if you will. I don't necessarily think that's cool,
but like, okay, so Ashley's keeping her cool. She would
look at me and she would say, are you with me? Yes?
And I would nonchalantly look around the room and see
what could be here, what should I be looking for?
And then all of a sudden I would figure out
what exactly I'm talking about what's going on? So that
we would hope that if it was Beyonce and jay
(02:53):
Z walking towards us, you would have realized that within
like three seconds, Yeah, this is I was trying to
use the bigger than life fixing. Okay, okay, I like that,
And so all of a sudden I would look figure
out it was them and look back at Ashley, and
in that moment is when we would click of like
I got your reference, and that clicking, that's exactly what
we wanted to run with here and here we are
(03:14):
running with it because you know, life is all about
connecting with each other, lifting each other up, and really
feeling fulfilled. Absolutely, And there is truly nothing more frustrating
than leaving a night out with friends or family and
getting in the car and saying to yourself or saying
to the other God, that sucked. What a waste of
(03:34):
time a man. And we talked We've talked about this
so many times. Should I say that, we talked about
this so many times with friends who like, well, you know,
we'll go out with for whatever reason, and like, you
get a babysitter, you plan the night out, you clear
your schedule. By the way, we don't have kids. No,
(03:58):
I just started sweating there first. Oh my god, the
pressure already. But when you you know, when you put
yourself out there and you clear your schedule and you
go and do whatever that is, and you leave feeling
worse than when you got there, absolutely, not only the
time and the money spent there, and you feel like
it's a waste or you feel unfulfilled afterwards. I hate
(04:18):
that feeling. That's the worst you essentially, that feeling like
that you feel worse leaving than when you first arrived.
I don't like that. And you know, as we continue
to grow, whether it's personally, professionally, etcetera, time really becomes
more and more valuable. Absolutely how we spend it can
drastically impact our life. You go out, you have a
(04:40):
great night, and the next day you're gonna be on
on the high of like, oh my god, that was
so much fun. Or the opposite, You go out, you
have an awful night and like you're the whole day
you're thinking like, well, that was a waste of time, money, energy, etcetera.
I completely agree. So we wanted to bring friends together
on the show every week to create fulfilling content that
we'll leave you refreshed and motivated and ready to tell
(05:02):
everyone you know to listen to our sholf. Okay, So
as you are listening to are you with me? And
as we are asking each other these questions, we want you,
as you're listening along, to also be answering these questions yourselves. Um,
and I want to know when was the last time
that you felt fully fulfilled me, well, not only you,
(05:26):
And I think that's kind of what I was just saying, Like,
I want everybody listening to be asking themselves the same question.
I think that that's a very important question and it's
something that we should be looking at in our daily lives, like,
not only does everyone around us need to be taken
(05:46):
care of and things need to be executed and handled
and loved and you know, all the things, but so
do we ourselves. And if we're not going to do
that for ourselves, then who's going to. You can't rely
on other people to do that for you, so we've
got to take care of ourselves. So yeah, I am
asking you, Tim, but I'm also asking for people that
(06:10):
are listening along too. When was the last time you
truly felt fulfilled? Okay? I have mine? I know it
because I think I try, like you said, I try
to be reflective on when I do feel fulfilled, because
to add more of that to your life is important,
and trip away when you don't feel fulfilled even more important. Completely,
(06:30):
So I think the last time I felt fulfilled was
ash and I had a good group of friends over
last week for dinner and we had we were outside
on our patio eating sushi, drinking wine, and we were
talking to crazy conversation that we were roaring, laughing and
talking about who our celebrity hall pass would be to
(06:53):
getting super serious and talking about like the state of
the Union and politics and we're we see our future
going as we're all, you know, thirty something year old
thinking about having a family and having kids in this
current political environment, et cetera. That to really be able to,
you know, go from celebrity hall pass to politics and
(07:17):
everywhere in between. Two passing the phone around and putting
on songs that you love to finding out that someone
is like a foreigner fan to me not really know
any foreigner is to finding out that some random person
is like obsessed with Selena gome As a new song
that you would never suspect that. Do you feel like
it's the content that you guys were discussing at dinner
(07:40):
or do you feel like it's more the connection that
you guys all have or is it a combination of both,
or like, what is it about all of that that
made you feel so fulfilled afterwards? I think it's a
mixture of both, because when you have people together that
you're close with and you're hanging out, there is that connection.
(08:01):
But also when there is that connection, the conversation never ends,
like there's never a dead you know, a dead lull
of just like eating your food and not saying anything.
It's the opposite, and it's like, oh my god, it's
twelve five am, I need to go home because I
need to be awake at seven am tomorrow morning. So
where it's like you don't want it to end and
(08:22):
you're not just sitting there like I want this to end. Yeah, okay,
it's okay. It's ten fifteen pm. I could probably head
home now. This would be an acceptable time to head out.
Whereas this the opposite of like, okay, everyone needs to
get the hell out. There's something to be said for,
you know, making good friends and keeping really good company,
and that's not an easy thing to do, especially nowadays.
(08:45):
Especially I don't care what it is. It doesn't matter
how old you are, it doesn't matter where you live,
it doesn't matter, you know, Like with social media, that
is a whole other can of worms that's made all that,
I think even more difficult. But there is something to
be said for having a good group of people around you. Absolutely.
When I was a kid, I was always told like,
(09:07):
show me your friends and I'll show you who you are.
And I that's always stuck with me because when you
if you surround yourself with people that are bad people,
whether it's like actually not good hearted people or they're
just negative people or whatever some way bringing you down,
that's gonna be a reflection on you. And when they
meet Brad and they know that they're associated with Tim,
(09:29):
they're gonna think, oh, wow, Tim has really awful friends
or whatever that may be. And that is not ever
a good look. If it's like when you introduce someone
and it's like, oh, your friends or you know this
person or that's your family, you want to be proud
of that. You don't want to be like, who, yeah,
we're acquaintances. You wanted to kind of be the opposite. No. Absolutely,
that completely speaks volumes as to who you are is
(09:53):
the company that you keep. Okay, so, actually, what was
the last time you were fulfilled? For me? I think
so if anybody, anybody that knows me personally knows that
I had an amazing relationship with my grandmother, who was
she died about a year ago. She's ninety five years old,
amazing and she acted like I don't know, a seventy
(10:17):
year old woman or something like that. And my entire
life growing up, my parents taught me that you are
so lucky that you have grandparents that live close to you,
that you that love you, that want to be with
you and take care of you and spend time with
you and all the things. And um So, I was
taught that at a really young age, and I started
going over to my grandparents house as soon as I
(10:37):
could drive. Well, I've done that now my entire life,
because again I'm really young. Um So, I used to
do that, and I would go over there every single
week and I would drive out. It didn't matter how
far it was, or how bad traffic was or whatever.
It was. Both her and I fully looked forward to that.
(10:59):
And then there got to be a point in her
life where she needed more and more help. And it
wasn't just these you know, fun outings that we would
have or these amazing conversations that we would have just
sitting around the house. It would be you know, all right,
we have to execute some errands here, and it it
became me like helping her, and then it evolved and
it changed over time into more and more of that,
(11:21):
which I absolutely love doing because I completely, a thousand
percent loved her with all of my heart, and it
I truly felt fulfilled, even though at times it got
really difficult when I was helping her, when I was
there every week with her, and when we were just
(11:42):
spending that like quality time together when somebody likes highlight
of their week, tells you that it's you when they
come over and all they want to know about is
what's going on and what your opinion is on this,
that and the other, and wants to gossip with you
and wants to just do all the things. And I
think that was the last chunk of time where I
(12:04):
felt like fully fulfilled, when I was not only doing
an active service but also spending time with my most
favorite person in the entire world. So you haven't felt
fulfilled an over a year. That makes me feel really
awful about No, I don't think so. I don't think
that that's how it goes. I think that you know,
(12:25):
there's many things in life that can make us feel fulfilled. Um.
I truly feel sometimes when I take that extra time
to go on a hike myself, or go to yoga
or go do whatever it is meditate, like certain specific
things for myself like that fully fulfills me too. But
when we're asking each other, you know what, when was
(12:48):
the last time you truly felt like majorly fulfilled. That
is a different way of feeling fulfilled than when I
just take that time out for myself to give myself
a little bit of love and care and you know,
go men to tait or go to work out or
whatever that is. And that is special because so much
of you know, the quote American culture isn't incorporating your
(13:10):
elders or your grandparents into your life. It's so true.
It's become more of like a chore of just like
put them, you know, go visit them on a holiday,
bring them a birthday gift, say hi to them, and
almost like I put them in a home. How about it?
I feel like those homes are popping up everywhere, and
that's just what everyone's doing. Is just if they have
the money, they're able to just put them in a home,
(13:32):
and I have to deal with them and hire somebody
else to take care of that. And it's almost like,
I don't know, I feel like it's patronizing. I think
it would be such a strange thing to sit back
and benee years old like your grandma was, and have kids, grandkids,
great grandkids all around you and like no one wants
to come up and speak with you. It's like, but
(13:52):
you're sitting there thinking like, I'm the whole reason that
all of you are here without me. I am the
only common denominator here, absolutely, because you wouldn't be here
without me. Absolutely. It's got to be the most bizarre feeling.
And then to have nobody to be able to share
that with. Is that school is that's happening around you
because you know your family members they don't necessarily get
(14:13):
it because they're not in the same kind of age
bracket as you, or they're your children and your grandchildren
and whatever. And your friends. You don't have as many
friends as you once did because you all are getting
to a certain age and who knows, you know, maybe
don't have your brain as much as you once did either. Yeah,
it's got to be a really confusing and difficult experience.
(14:34):
Getting old. Life is really just about living to the
fullest and feeling fulfilled and what figuring out what exactly
it is that lifts you up and makes you feel
fulfilled and also feeling alive, Like there's nothing better than
when you're doing something on vacation with people that you
love or want to be with and you're like, I
(14:56):
feel alive right now. This is an amazing feeling. It
it's or let's say, like it's even if it's not
that you're on vacation and it's just that your your
job lifts you up and makes you feel No, I'd
rather be on vacation. Yea too, haw WHI you're at
the office. I'll take horse. Yeah, but let's be true, Like,
let's be honest, like we all want we don't want
(15:16):
a job. We want to work and feel fulfilled and
have our That's what we spend majority of our time doing.
It really is working. So we want to feel good
every single day when we're showing up where we are.
It's weird when what's the point. It's weird when you
like start a new job or maybe you move offices,
move locations, whatever that may be, and you realize the
people that you did spend time with that you don't
(15:39):
spend time with and how much I mean you spend
more time with them than you do probably your certific
and other Yeah, it's true, your own friends or your
own family. I mean, if you're working forty fifty six
hours a week, I mean that's more time than you
spend with anyone, it's true. And if you hate them,
it's awful. But if you love them, you, like you said,
you don't feel like you're actual working. And you know,
(16:02):
I was once told by a psychologist he said, mood
and behavior is like has a very big correlation. And
when you are in a good mood and when you're happy,
you need to take a step back and think to yourself,
how am how am I happy right now? And how
can I get to this place in the future. Then
(16:24):
when you're in a bad mood or in a bad place,
you need to take a step back and think, how
did I get to this place? And how can I
not get to this place in the future. And when
I was told this, it was such a powerful thing
because I thought, when you are in a good mood
and when you are happy, you always want that moment
to never really end. You always wanted just to roll
through into the next day or evening or whatever time
(16:48):
that you're going into the next up of your day
or life. And it's hard to sometimes mirror that and
bring that with you if maybe you're leaving a really
happy home to go to work and work is unhappy,
or your home was unhappy whatever that may be. It's
hard to carry that through. But if you recognize, oh
what is it that makes me happy? How could I
bring that forward and always be happy? It's a game changer. Absolutely,
(17:12):
it's so interesting. I really love that, Like it sounds
so simple and it sounds so well. Yeah. I mean,
of course, if only it was that easy. But I
think in order to be present, like to be present
in the moment, it will make it easy. You know,
when you're when you're getting angry, to take that step
(17:32):
back and or getting into like a dark negative space,
to take that step back and to figure out like
how to not continue that downward spiral and to move
back forward into a more positive space, or when you're
in that positive space, how to stay there. I love
that just being more present day to day and through
your like emotions and you know, because we all we
(17:55):
all go through roller coasters of emotions throughout our days. Yeah.
I mean I've slowly wake up piste off every single morning,
and I wake up singing songs every morning. Oh god, Tim,
we really balanced each other out. But you know, throughout
the day, you you know, maybe you're upset, you can
get the little those thinkabout graphic for example, your oad
rage whatever, or your coffee the coffee machine doesn't brew
(18:17):
the coffee the right way, or you you have to
empty out all the capsules because the you know, the
machines overflowing or whatever. That this is really a looking
to timidize life right now what really ticks us off?
But throughout those days I try and just be reflective
and mindful of like, Okay, those little things really don't matter,
carry on and be in the kind of like the
(18:38):
steady mood that you were in the whole entire time. Yes,
life is about balance, right, Yes, we hope you continue
on this journey with us. Please do Yeah, and tune
in next week and every week after that, and again,
like we said, listen, subscribe and rate us, give us
those five stars.
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