March 19, 2023 • 28 mins
Bryan and Jessica get their much anticipated golf round interrupted by an emergency dog issue. They discuss how their new puppy might ruin their golf life and possibly their relationship. Bryan minimizes his golf clubs and Jessica is bummed out about missing out on LIV this week.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
You're listening to Balls and Holes with Jessica Bowser and
Brian Pascarelli. Hey, baby, baby shaken, are we even golfers anymore?
I don't even think we're golfers anymore. When's the last
time you golfed? The last time I golfed was a
partial round I think six holes last weekend. Yeah, I
(00:28):
want to I want to call this episode of Dog's Life.
And you don't like that title, but it's just that
every time you come up with a title, it's like
just so like an explanatory and Boring's stop step. Let's
just tell everyone the preface. Okay, we have now three dogs.
We have a German Shepherd, a Korean Jindo, and we
(00:49):
have now a Belgian Malinois. Well we should put in
here that when we got said third dog, we were
told we were picking up a five month old German Shepherd,
which we were super stoked about. We have one. We
have one. We were like, fun, yeah, let's have another one.
We found out it's a Belgian melanoe. If you guys
don't know what it is, it's like it's a Belgian Shepherd.
(01:09):
But they're the dogs that like clinb trees. And jump
like thirty feet in the air and have extreme agility
their Navy sealed dogs. And there's a reason why we're
saying this. This dog has ruined our golf life. So
we've always wanted to play Tia Rahatta. Like we're trying
to make some new decisions on like where we might
go join up, and we just wanted to change of scenery.
(01:30):
Derby has like renounced the fact that he will never
play Sand Canyon again, Like it just you know, we
needed a change. So we finally booked a tea time
to go to Tia Rahatta. Brian Derby and I super
stoked about it. We get out there, it's beautiful, We
get treated really nicely. I get a bitch and bloody
Mary as soon as we get there, like everybody's sweet.
(01:51):
You get your cart, you get your bags, you get
everything you need, right and we get out and it
reminded me so much of Stoner Ridge in Arizona. Of course,
so we go and we tee off. We're having a
great time. We may get six holes before we get
a frantic call from my seventeen year old son. Right,
(02:12):
you forgot to mention we got paired up with a
guy who was this poor fucking guy here from New
York And it was just he tried to get a
tea time at Rustic Canyon, He tried to get a
tea time down at Newport Beach, and he ended up
coming on and walking on to this one. And he
was from He was just here like overnight or something, sure,
and so he was new. He was our single. So
(02:36):
we end up playing. We were excited to play. I
was playing really well. I hadn't played previous to that.
I had had like a week off, right like, because
I started a contract and I've been like glued to
the house and glued to just everything that's not golf. Unfortunately,
we may get six holes, we get the frantic phone call. Yeah,
(02:58):
I tell it to everyone about the phone call. I
just feel like punching me in the face for bossing
me around. Should I should I tell everybody about the
phone call first and foremost, I had I have a
new putter, which I'll talk about in my mulligan. But
I wasn't. I was having a little problem. I might
have thrown a pin or did I punch a pin
(03:18):
and you wanted it to get my pu a pin
because you punched the pin and it like you punched
it so hard that it like flew forward and then
came back and almost hit you in the face. Almost.
It was glorious. So already we're a little free and
take on our game. It's a tough course. We get
a phone call, well, this is the first time we've
(03:38):
left the dog alone. Wait, let's preface. This is a
Belgian mall on wall that is five months old. It's
a puppy, it's about thirty pounds, and it is a
Tasmanian devil, complete terror. Okay, so we finally say we're
just going to leave it or alone. We have two
other dogs there. She'll be fine. Everything Well, I didn't
think everything would be fine. In fact, I knew everything
(04:01):
would not be fine. And I kept telling you, I'm
very worried about this. We shouldn't do this, and you
were like, nah, it's gonna be fine. It's gonna be
totally fine. Which is the mindset that you get into
when you really want to do something. It's like nothing
can go wrong. You spend actually at the majority of
your life worrying about things that will never happen, But
when you want to do something, okay, it's gonna be great.
(04:22):
The thing that I wanted to do was finally play
Tiara Hotta with you and Derby that we've been talking
about for a year a thousand percent. Like I'm with you,
but I like, just like, let's set the record straight.
Like I knew that shit was going to go wrong.
So we get a phone call. You answered that call right,
oh yeah, But I wasn't really paying attention because it
(04:43):
was your son and I was like golfing and I
heard it. That was so rude. No meaning, I heard it,
but we were up in Tiara Hotta, so it was
in the hills and I couldn't really hear him, and
I just passed through the phone and I couldn't hear
what he was saying to you on the phone because
it wasn't on speaker. So what did he say to you?
I think he talk to you. He told you that
like we left shit out, like oh yeah, yeah, I
(05:04):
wasn't even part of this. Oh my god. So he says,
you guys left something out and the dogs eating it.
Comes to find out it is a flammable firestarter for
our fireplace. But it's not just a flammable fire starter.
It is an entire box of fire starters. Yeah, so
there there are these like dome waxy, it's wax and
(05:27):
sawed us. It's wax and sawdus that you put in
the in the fireplace with real wood and it starts
your fire. Yeah, and holding gives us a call and
he says the dog, the new dog and her name's Malli,
has eaten all of them. He says, they're everywhere. They're everywhere,
and then he can't take care of the duck because
he has to go somewhere. And so now we have
(05:49):
to make a decision. Do we save our brand new
puppy we've had for five days or continue to golf
tier Hotter, which we just paid one hundred bucks to
play each And we're now there with Derby and a
guy from New York. Do we stay? We're on the
sixth hole, seventh hole, by the way, and the eighth
hole's my favorite hole. By that's what I really really
(06:10):
wanted to play as the reason why I went there.
So cut to Jessica and I almost divorced and getting
a huge fight on the golf course. I mean we
were like legit those people. To me, it was very simple,
like both of our days shouldn't be ruined. I knew
immediately as soon as that call came in that, like
I was going home right, Like I was perfectly inclined
to drive home. You could have gone home with Derby.
(06:33):
It was very cut and dry for me, like both
of our days should not be cut short. I'm fully
capable of going home and assessing the situation, figuring out
if it's emergency, VET time, like just whatever, like I
can handle it. So I tell you, like, as soon
as we get to the turn, I'm gonna bounce and
I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna deal with this.
And you fly off on some tangent about why this
(06:54):
is you like it was terrible. You were like, this
is why I don't have responsibilities or kids, or shot
off at the mouth and said some really dumb shit. Okay,
for those of you listening, and you're in my situation
and your wife ghost crazy and says I'm leaving at
the turn. I didn't go crazy, hold on, hold on,
are you? It's like calmer than anything. I was like,
I'm just I'm gonna go home, okay, Like I wasn't upset.
(07:17):
By the way, For the record, you did not leave
at the turn. You left on the seventh hole, so
there's a reason you weren't gonna wait. You were frankly,
you know, I was going to wait until the turn.
It was after I saw you act like such a
fucking asshole that I wanted to leave immediately. I needed
to get as far away from you as possible. Either,
(07:38):
I stay there engulf with Darby, which is a guy
from New York, what I wanted, and I hear about
it later that I'm the one who was selfish. This
is this is not fair and it's inaccurate, and I
feel like we're about to have another fight right fucking here, okay,
because I've never been that person. So either, of course,
(08:00):
I drove with my wife and Darby would take me
home and even maybe and Darby even said, why don't
you dude go home with her? Dude, and the people
you say that. I was on the seventh hole, which
is a little part three before my favorite hole, the
eighth hole, and I literally said to myself, I had
a title's probably want with a shamrock on it, and
today is today's Saint Patty's Day. Oh yes, straight, whatever
(08:21):
I said to myself, if I hit this on the green,
I'm staying, And of course I hid it over the
cliff into a ravine and I said, fuck, I better leave.
So as I'm making that decision, Jess is already and
I told the guys, watch she's gonna take my bag out.
She takes she's taking my bag out of the cart
and putting it on Darby's. But now she's not taking
(08:42):
the cart that we're in. She's now trading Darby's cart
from my cart, and now his bag is in. It
was the confusion. I don't why didn't you just take
this my bag out of our cart and put it
onto Darby's and then you drove off on the cart out.
Why didn't I just take all your shit leave it
right there and fucking just go instead of even trying
to like a pease or accommodate any of you fucking assholes.
(09:05):
How about that? How about that? Like it just goes
to show you how I'm just like always trying to
be missus fix it and be like, oh, how can
I make it easier for the dumb fucks that I'm with,
Like it's insane. You could have just stooken my bag
out of the car and just drove that cart back
and put my bag onto Darby instead. Semantics at this point,
(09:25):
in the midst of it showed how frantic it was.
It was frantic because you your reaction was so incredibly insane.
You and I act very different in crisis. To me,
like I said, like, you've come up with this whole
thing that you've just told our entire audience about how
(09:47):
like you were going to stay, and then you're going
to hear about what a selfish piece of shit you
are because you stayed and played golf when all I
wanted was to get as far away from all of
you as possible, get in my car, go home, assess
the situation, handle it myself. And there would have been
none of that, because what made it even worse is that,
like you didn't honor the fact that I wanted to
(10:08):
just go handle this and that you should have played golf.
Like We've still continued to argue about this until now,
so so because it's not fair. It's not fair that
you say that I would have held that over your head.
I've continued, I don't care, Okay what Darby has told you.
Here's the other side. If I would have stayed and
golf while you're running home to see if our new
(10:31):
dog is dead because he ate or she ate fire starter.
I would not have enjoyed myself at Tiarahata while I
was there. I would be like, I can't believe, like
the rage that is still like starting to bubble up inside.
Are we just reliving this with you right now at
the point we both leave? Okay, we huge mistakes. It
(10:52):
was a seventh hole. We paid a lot of money
to go. It took a while to get that tea
time you and I drive home, not a fun drive home,
kind of worried. We want to drive a little faster
and make sure that this dog is not dead and
we're now not playing Tierra Haata. We come home to
a absolute disaster. It is absolutely insane. I mean, she
(11:17):
took the box, she ate all of the fire starters,
and then dragged the box through every room in the house.
But like there were pieces of sawdust and wax in
every crevice of our home. It was underneath our covers,
it was underneath the furniture, it was in the couch,
it was I mean it was. She had a fucking party.
(11:37):
So we did check she was fine. She gay, She
did ship on the floor to pick up that. I
was helping you broom and clean it all up. We
ended up seeing her shit in the backyard which had
sawed us in it, which we were happy because the
whole drive home we were looking up every day am
(12:00):
you know? I mean it was a called in the
emergency VAD, it was poison control, it was everything, and
we looked up the company name of the of the
fire Stars, whether or not was toxic. I was looking
at their patents and copyrights on USPTO dot gov to
see what was in these things. If this dog is
going to die. It was frantic. Yes, we came home.
She's alive. She's still here. Her name is Malie. She's awesome.
(12:23):
She's a Tasmanian devil, like I said, but she's ruining
our golf. I haven't played since so I have twice
or once. But Mallie has also affected our tournaments. And
we didn't go to Live even though we got media
credentials to go to Live in Tucson. It's the only
(12:46):
time where they're going to be that close to us,
the live tournament, and we're not going, and we have
not gone, and we can still go today. We could go.
As we're airing this, it's Friday, and they're still at
Live Into and we're not going because of our dog.
I mean I had JSX private charter plane tickets, I
(13:06):
had a car rental, I had a hotel reservation. So
people listening as and say, why don't you give it
to a friend, why don't you get a dog? Sent God,
I couldn't do that, did and all that stuff? How
do we answer that you can't? We just can't even
put anybody in that situation. So this dog has ruined
(13:27):
our golf. I'm golfing tomorrow and you are not because
of the dog. Yep, which is oddly enough, when we
decided that you never once even offered for you to
stay home and for me to go golf, even though
you've continued to golf. And I'm not let me tell you,
but you know what, I can't go golf tomorrow. You
know why I can't go golf tomorrow is your injuries.
(13:49):
Because when I took all three dogs out on a
walk when you weren't around, after said a giant fight
on the golf course, I got dragged out of my
rain boots about I don't know good ten feet in
the air, probably slammed down on the ground. The palms
of my hands are cut bloody. I've got bruises all
(14:10):
over the side of my body. I chipped a tooth.
That's a good one. Yeah, I got I got raggedalled
through the alley and it was unfortunate because it was
the alley, which is kind of like not is like
not asphalt. It's like it's not concrete. It's like asphalt
and greedy. Yeah, it's badly got you bad. It did
get me bad. So not only has this dog trashed
our house, ruined our golf, but has now physically harmed you. Yeah,
(14:34):
we love her. She's pretty cute. I don't want to
feel guilty for golfing them all. I don't know why
you do feel guilty for golfing, like you feel guilty
about shit all the time, and then turn around and
work up in your mind that like I'm sitting here,
you know, hating you were angry at you when like again,
(14:55):
like I wish I was out golfing, like I would
go golf Like I just don't understand this like you do.
So we went to the Malonois Club today in Compton
and to get her trained because this is affecting our life.
And we saw other malon walls who were doing attacks,
and you know, you get in those suits and then
(15:17):
they attack the people and then they call out like
calls and stuff to like halt and attack more and
create guns and it was crazy. They're shooting fake guns
with blanks in it. So the dogs don't get distracted,
like if they're in a police force or in the
Navy or the military, because these dogs are Navy seal dogs.
So we took Mallie there to to get some obedience
(15:39):
training and because we can't handle she needs to know
how to not cry in the crate and walk properly.
And she knows sit and stay and come and stuff
like that. But what is the future of us look
and golfing and leaving this dog at home. It seems
like your life will be fine and mine will be
(15:59):
forever changed. I want to tell you about your injury.
I still have golfer's elbow. It's been three minds and
it has not healed. Is terrible pain. I have that band,
that that sleeve thing, and the band thing. So I'm
not going to enjoy myself that much either, because so
you're telling me that you were going to go golf tomorrow,
(16:19):
but you're letting me know that you're not going to
enjoy it. Like, who are you? What is this? Like
what dumb John graybook did you read where you think that,
Like this is what you're supposed to say to me.
You play golf all the time, you have golfer's elbow,
Like wha, Like, do something about it. It very much hurts.
I get it. I had it too. You got to
(16:40):
change your grip and figure it the fuck out. But like,
I really don't think that's compared to like the fact
that like I physically can't golf because I'm battered and
record show that was not your no no, um, I
don't know, babe. If you feel bad, that's on you.
Like I don't know what to tell you. We are
(17:01):
going to redeem ourselves and play Tarahatta again, and we
might even leave our club because you know, we were
playing maybe next week. We should book it now because
we didn't get to finish Tiahuta and Darby did and
he loved it. He's like I'm playing this, Oh my god.
Darby said it was the best course he's ever played,
and so much love with it. I know, so unfortunately
(17:23):
has to play sand with us tomorrow, which he cannot stand.
I want to talk about my bag and what's in it. Um.
(17:46):
You say that listeners don't care, but I it's it's
a very big change. I have a big change. I
haven't talked about my bag in a long time. I'm
all ears, babe. Wow. First and foremost, Sanky Lab Golf
and Sam Han and Liam from Lab Golf. I got
my Link one putter, and I love it. It's sixty
eight degree lion goal. It's thirty five inches long. It
(18:07):
has a black accre shaft in it. It has no
alignment aid, which I have been debating whether or not
that's a good thing. But if you would have gotten
the alignment aid, we would be having the same conversation.
You would be debating whether or not you should have
not gotten it. You're right one. So one of the
big things that I found out in the course of
since our last podcast is I don't need as many
(18:29):
clubs in the bag as as everyone else has. So
the most you could have is fourteen. I have twelve
now and I've simplified my golf life and I like it.
So I have my Link one putter and I still
have my xexio X driver, which I'm never going to
get rid of. I also have my Peeing two hybrid
(18:51):
which is sixteen degree loft, and then I have my
Cobra rat Speed one length twenty one degree Jesse is
yawning right now, four hybrid. But so those are all say,
my hybrids, my driver, and my putter state, but my
irons have changed. You use the Tireless T four hundreds
(19:13):
for your irons, and for your wedges you use the
King Cobra F nine one length wedges, so you're pitching wedge,
your gap wedge, and your sandwich are all that one length.
It's true, I bought that set for me. You took
those wedges for me, and I really really like those wedges.
That is also true. What is left over or from
(19:34):
the T four hundred set is the thirty eight degree,
the forty three degree, the forty nine degree, and the
fifty five degree so I said, and then the six
seven and eighth degree at the sixty seven and eight
iron from the F nine. So basically what I did
is I swapped your set and I got it in
my set. Yeah, we have matching swapped sets. Matching swap sets.
(19:57):
So now I only have four wedges and three irons.
That's it. My longest iron is a six iron, so
I have a six iron, and then my loftiest wedge
is a fifty five degree. I only have twelve clubs
in the bag and I played the other day and
it was awesome. It simplified my brain. I'm just going
(20:19):
to make do with what I have, and I don't
have to have all these extra clubs that I'm not
using or gives me anxiety, Like the five iron gave
me anxiety. I know I can hit it, but I
don't want to hit it. So I have a six
iron now, which what am I losing about? Fifteen yards? Yeah,
but I don't get to stare at it, and that
makes me happy. I love that we're having this conversation
surrounded by literally ten sets of golf clubs in our office.
(20:45):
As you know, my goal is always to sell everything
and have one set and perfect that set. I'm not
there yet, but listen, you've made huge, huge leaps and
bounds and strides and whatever with this whole Lab Golf
link one Potter. I mean, I'm Sam would just be
so proud. I am a Lab Golf guy. Now I
(21:07):
have the man. You've literally been walking around all for
like the last couple of weeks ever since you got it,
and you're like, I'm just a Lab golf guy. Now, Yeah,
I have three Lab golf putters, and I've sold like
three of my other putters. I sold a ping PLD,
I sold the Scottie, I sold a Toulon, so they're
slowly going away. Jason, I knew you'd come around. I
mean even when Sam was in town and he was like,
(21:28):
what do you want, Well, I'll give you anything you want,
and bless his heart's so wonderful. Oh and by the way,
I sent him one of my rat speed one length
hybrids because he played with it with me. He did
text me to tell me that that was now his
favorite club. I knew he would love it. Yeah, it's
one of the best clubs ever. Yeah. I always thought
you'd come around to Lab. I mean, Sam trying to
(21:50):
give me a club anything I wanted, trying to give
me a new link, which I actually now kind of
wish I would have taken him up on because yours
is so beautiful. It's heavy, and it's gorgeous and it
just puts so straight and true, like it's it's amazing,
but I won't do anything like my mes is my baby.
I don't even like potting with other potters to even
(22:12):
try them. Like you're always trying to get me to
try putters, and I've said this time and time again,
like I don't want to do anything to my stroke.
You know what I speaking of my putting stroke, Like
I've really learned something. I started trying something I think
after we played golf with Sam, and it wasn't anything
he had really told me to do, but I think
I was just watching him and some of the guys.
(22:32):
And I've been putting my feet way closer together, which
is kind of change. It's obviously changed my stance, but
you know, I go back and I go to move
forward through the ball, and it's much more of a
shoulders a hinge. Was that what I'm trying to say? Rotation? Yeah?
And man, my putting has been on fire. I think
(22:54):
the last time I played around, I had something like
twenty three puts. You know, I wrote it down. It
was like twenty six parts. Oh wait, maybe twenty it
was twenty three. Yeah, you did really well? Did it
really good? That day? I just you know sometimes you
know too, that I feel like, you know, as much
as it sucks that I'm like banged up and I
can't play, and we have this you know, Tasmanian devil
dog that's taken over our lives, Like there is something
(23:17):
to be said for when I take little breaks in
my game. You know, we were playing four sometimes five
days every day, right Like I go out and like
it all falls right back into place, and I typically
have really good games after I've taken a break. So
as much as I'm bummed that I'm not out golfing
for a myriad of reasons, because it makes me sane
(23:39):
and not want to kill you the way I want
to right now, I should see the way she's looking
at me right now. It's evil. I'm scared. Mulligan time.
It's Mulligan time was drawn out. It was so drunk
(24:00):
on out. My Mulligan has to deal with gear. Just today,
Scottie Cameron came out with their new putters and it's
called the Super Select. And I don't care. I'm like
sitting here looking at you with this like shock on
my face that this is the first time hearing of
a new Scottie coming out like the whole you haven't
(24:21):
said anything like something so different with you. You're never
Roger Dunne anymore. You're not talking about new putters that
are coming out. Like, I don't even feel like I
know you anymore. I have. That's my mulligan. It's I
just don't care anymore. I have what I have in
this house, which is a lot, right, and I'm just
going to figure it out. Nothing excited. And this comes
(24:41):
back from the last podcast I said this nothing excites me.
January of twenty twenty three, so the whole product launch
and it's now leading into February and March. This is
when all the new gear comes out. I don't give
a shit. I'm not excited about any of it. What
I have works and if it doesn't, I'm going to
figure it out. Yes, the new Scotties came out. They're nice.
(25:02):
They have new milling, which is very interesting. The millings
very similar to the ping PLD which is very very ironic.
But I don't care, and I don't want to care.
I am a lab guy, now a lab golf. I
have my irons, have my driver, and I'm set and
like the need to go into Roger Dunn and I
(25:24):
still have like thirteen thousand dollars in credit. I don't
have that. I don't know if it's because we played
so much golf last year that I just don't care anymore.
I love golf. I still love golf. I'm crazy, but
I'm excited to play tomorrow. But I'm I'm I'm not
(25:45):
as jazz. I don't want to keep going into Roger Dunn.
It was exhausting for me. It was mentally exhausting. Yeah, yeah,
it wasn't It really stopped fulfilling you. Yeah, So what's
more exciting now is can I make what I have work?
I love that I've turned a new leaf. Baby, you
have turned a new leaf. Do you have a mulligan?
(26:05):
Something about live? Oh? Man, I'm so upset. I'm so
upset that we're not there on so many levels. Your
media badge, that's really pretty. You like photoshopped? Dude? To
get that? Like, what do you mean I photoshopped it?
Fuck you? No, I didn't. That was what are you
talking about? That was a picture of you and I
(26:26):
when we were out. I just cut you out of it.
I didn't photoshop shit. Wow. So anyway, Um, it was
pretty depressing to get that all emailed to us, and
like see our pictures on our media badges, and like
it's just live everything, live this live, that five day
passes media everything. We can't wait to have you come
(26:49):
out and you know, do a pod and do all
the things you're gonna do. And it's happening right now.
It's happening, you know. Just we still can go. We
still look, we can do a burrito run, we can
do that private charter jet whatever and just fly in
and take a car from Phoenix to Tucson, and we
can do it. But we have Malle Bandit and Katti,
(27:11):
our dogs, and they have changed our life. That's why
this episode, I mean, this whole thing about how like
we would never have children together and now we have
like three dogs. And I know people are gonna be like, dude,
you have someone watch your dogs. I wish it was
that easy. I feel like this would be a movie
(27:33):
where like we get some poor soul to come over
to take care of our three dogs and we're like, oh,
it'll be fun. And it's just like forty eight hours
or twenty four hours of just NonStop chaos. Are you
gonna go off with them? In tomorrow. No, I can't
(27:54):
if I have fun, Are you gonna be mad? No? Okay,
I'm actually looking forward to a little time to myself.
But I'm sure you won't have a good time because
you've spun up in your head that I'm somehow sitting
here pouting and mad. Don't get a don't get a
Belgian melon. While guys, you want to keep your golf
(28:14):
career going in your relationship, where can they find his baby?
They can find us at balls, the letter in Holes, golf,
balls in holes, golf. I'd love to say thanks for
golfing with me, but yeah, it almost killed each other
last week. So I hope you have a good day
(28:36):
golfing tomorrow, and yeah, I'll be back soon. Balls and
Holes is produced and distributed by the Eight Side Network
You're listening to Balls and Holes with Jessica Bowser and
Brian Pascarelli. Hey, baby, baby shaken, are we even golfers anymore?
I don't even think we're golfers anymore. When's the last
time you golfed? The last time I golfed was a
partial round I think six holes last weekend. Yeah, I
(00:28):
want to I want to call this episode of Dog's Life.
And you don't like that title, but it's just that
every time you come up with a title, it's like
just so like an explanatory and Boring's stop step. Let's
just tell everyone the preface. Okay, we have now three dogs.
We have a German Shepherd, a Korean Jindo, and we
(00:49):
have now a Belgian Malinois. Well we should put in
here that when we got said third dog, we were
told we were picking up a five month old German Shepherd,
which we were super stoked about. We have one. We
have one. We were like, fun, yeah, let's have another one.
We found out it's a Belgian melanoe. If you guys
don't know what it is, it's like it's a Belgian Shepherd.
(01:09):
But they're the dogs that like clinb trees. And jump
like thirty feet in the air and have extreme agility
their Navy sealed dogs. And there's a reason why we're
saying this. This dog has ruined our golf life. So
we've always wanted to play Tia Rahatta. Like we're trying
to make some new decisions on like where we might
go join up, and we just wanted to change of scenery.
(01:30):
Derby has like renounced the fact that he will never
play Sand Canyon again, Like it just you know, we
needed a change. So we finally booked a tea time
to go to Tia Rahatta. Brian Derby and I super
stoked about it. We get out there, it's beautiful, We
get treated really nicely. I get a bitch and bloody
Mary as soon as we get there, like everybody's sweet.
(01:51):
You get your cart, you get your bags, you get
everything you need, right and we get out and it
reminded me so much of Stoner Ridge in Arizona. Of course,
so we go and we tee off. We're having a
great time. We may get six holes before we get
a frantic call from my seventeen year old son. Right,
(02:12):
you forgot to mention we got paired up with a
guy who was this poor fucking guy here from New
York And it was just he tried to get a
tea time at Rustic Canyon, He tried to get a
tea time down at Newport Beach, and he ended up
coming on and walking on to this one. And he
was from He was just here like overnight or something, sure,
and so he was new. He was our single. So
(02:36):
we end up playing. We were excited to play. I
was playing really well. I hadn't played previous to that.
I had had like a week off, right like, because
I started a contract and I've been like glued to
the house and glued to just everything that's not golf. Unfortunately,
we may get six holes, we get the frantic phone call. Yeah,
(02:58):
I tell it to everyone about the phone call. I
just feel like punching me in the face for bossing
me around. Should I should I tell everybody about the
phone call first and foremost, I had I have a
new putter, which I'll talk about in my mulligan. But
I wasn't. I was having a little problem. I might
have thrown a pin or did I punch a pin
(03:18):
and you wanted it to get my pu a pin
because you punched the pin and it like you punched
it so hard that it like flew forward and then
came back and almost hit you in the face. Almost.
It was glorious. So already we're a little free and
take on our game. It's a tough course. We get
a phone call, well, this is the first time we've
(03:38):
left the dog alone. Wait, let's preface. This is a
Belgian mall on wall that is five months old. It's
a puppy, it's about thirty pounds, and it is a
Tasmanian devil, complete terror. Okay, so we finally say we're
just going to leave it or alone. We have two
other dogs there. She'll be fine. Everything Well, I didn't
think everything would be fine. In fact, I knew everything
(04:01):
would not be fine. And I kept telling you, I'm
very worried about this. We shouldn't do this, and you
were like, nah, it's gonna be fine. It's gonna be
totally fine. Which is the mindset that you get into
when you really want to do something. It's like nothing
can go wrong. You spend actually at the majority of
your life worrying about things that will never happen, But
when you want to do something, okay, it's gonna be great.
(04:22):
The thing that I wanted to do was finally play
Tiara Hotta with you and Derby that we've been talking
about for a year a thousand percent. Like I'm with you,
but I like, just like, let's set the record straight.
Like I knew that shit was going to go wrong.
So we get a phone call. You answered that call right,
oh yeah, But I wasn't really paying attention because it
(04:43):
was your son and I was like golfing and I
heard it. That was so rude. No meaning, I heard it,
but we were up in Tiara Hotta, so it was
in the hills and I couldn't really hear him, and
I just passed through the phone and I couldn't hear
what he was saying to you on the phone because
it wasn't on speaker. So what did he say to you?
I think he talk to you. He told you that
like we left shit out, like oh yeah, yeah, I
(05:04):
wasn't even part of this. Oh my god. So he says,
you guys left something out and the dogs eating it.
Comes to find out it is a flammable firestarter for
our fireplace. But it's not just a flammable fire starter.
It is an entire box of fire starters. Yeah, so
there there are these like dome waxy, it's wax and
(05:27):
sawed us. It's wax and sawdus that you put in
the in the fireplace with real wood and it starts
your fire. Yeah, and holding gives us a call and
he says the dog, the new dog and her name's Malli,
has eaten all of them. He says, they're everywhere. They're everywhere,
and then he can't take care of the duck because
he has to go somewhere. And so now we have
(05:49):
to make a decision. Do we save our brand new
puppy we've had for five days or continue to golf
tier Hotter, which we just paid one hundred bucks to
play each And we're now there with Derby and a
guy from New York. Do we stay? We're on the
sixth hole, seventh hole, by the way, and the eighth
hole's my favorite hole. By that's what I really really
(06:10):
wanted to play as the reason why I went there.
So cut to Jessica and I almost divorced and getting
a huge fight on the golf course. I mean we
were like legit those people. To me, it was very simple,
like both of our days shouldn't be ruined. I knew
immediately as soon as that call came in that, like
I was going home right, Like I was perfectly inclined
to drive home. You could have gone home with Derby.
(06:33):
It was very cut and dry for me, like both
of our days should not be cut short. I'm fully
capable of going home and assessing the situation, figuring out
if it's emergency, VET time, like just whatever, like I
can handle it. So I tell you, like, as soon
as we get to the turn, I'm gonna bounce and
I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna deal with this.
And you fly off on some tangent about why this
(06:54):
is you like it was terrible. You were like, this
is why I don't have responsibilities or kids, or shot
off at the mouth and said some really dumb shit. Okay,
for those of you listening, and you're in my situation
and your wife ghost crazy and says I'm leaving at
the turn. I didn't go crazy, hold on, hold on,
are you? It's like calmer than anything. I was like,
I'm just I'm gonna go home, okay, Like I wasn't upset.
(07:17):
By the way, For the record, you did not leave
at the turn. You left on the seventh hole, so
there's a reason you weren't gonna wait. You were frankly,
you know, I was going to wait until the turn.
It was after I saw you act like such a
fucking asshole that I wanted to leave immediately. I needed
to get as far away from you as possible. Either,
(07:38):
I stay there engulf with Darby, which is a guy
from New York, what I wanted, and I hear about
it later that I'm the one who was selfish. This
is this is not fair and it's inaccurate, and I
feel like we're about to have another fight right fucking here, okay,
because I've never been that person. So either, of course,
(08:00):
I drove with my wife and Darby would take me
home and even maybe and Darby even said, why don't
you dude go home with her? Dude, and the people
you say that. I was on the seventh hole, which
is a little part three before my favorite hole, the
eighth hole, and I literally said to myself, I had
a title's probably want with a shamrock on it, and
today is today's Saint Patty's Day. Oh yes, straight, whatever
(08:21):
I said to myself, if I hit this on the green,
I'm staying, And of course I hid it over the
cliff into a ravine and I said, fuck, I better leave.
So as I'm making that decision, Jess is already and
I told the guys, watch she's gonna take my bag out.
She takes she's taking my bag out of the cart
and putting it on Darby's. But now she's not taking
(08:42):
the cart that we're in. She's now trading Darby's cart
from my cart, and now his bag is in. It
was the confusion. I don't why didn't you just take
this my bag out of our cart and put it
onto Darby's and then you drove off on the cart out.
Why didn't I just take all your shit leave it
right there and fucking just go instead of even trying
to like a pease or accommodate any of you fucking assholes.
(09:05):
How about that? How about that? Like it just goes
to show you how I'm just like always trying to
be missus fix it and be like, oh, how can
I make it easier for the dumb fucks that I'm with,
Like it's insane. You could have just stooken my bag
out of the car and just drove that cart back
and put my bag onto Darby instead. Semantics at this point,
(09:25):
in the midst of it showed how frantic it was.
It was frantic because you your reaction was so incredibly insane.
You and I act very different in crisis. To me,
like I said, like, you've come up with this whole
thing that you've just told our entire audience about how
(09:47):
like you were going to stay, and then you're going
to hear about what a selfish piece of shit you
are because you stayed and played golf when all I
wanted was to get as far away from all of
you as possible, get in my car, go home, assess
the situation, handle it myself. And there would have been
none of that, because what made it even worse is that,
like you didn't honor the fact that I wanted to
(10:08):
just go handle this and that you should have played golf.
Like We've still continued to argue about this until now,
so so because it's not fair. It's not fair that
you say that I would have held that over your head.
I've continued, I don't care, Okay what Darby has told you.
Here's the other side. If I would have stayed and
golf while you're running home to see if our new
(10:31):
dog is dead because he ate or she ate fire starter.
I would not have enjoyed myself at Tiarahata while I
was there. I would be like, I can't believe, like
the rage that is still like starting to bubble up inside.
Are we just reliving this with you right now at
the point we both leave? Okay, we huge mistakes. It
(10:52):
was a seventh hole. We paid a lot of money
to go. It took a while to get that tea
time you and I drive home, not a fun drive home,
kind of worried. We want to drive a little faster
and make sure that this dog is not dead and
we're now not playing Tierra Haata. We come home to
a absolute disaster. It is absolutely insane. I mean, she
(11:17):
took the box, she ate all of the fire starters,
and then dragged the box through every room in the house.
But like there were pieces of sawdust and wax in
every crevice of our home. It was underneath our covers,
it was underneath the furniture, it was in the couch,
it was I mean it was. She had a fucking party.
(11:37):
So we did check she was fine. She gay, She
did ship on the floor to pick up that. I
was helping you broom and clean it all up. We
ended up seeing her shit in the backyard which had
sawed us in it, which we were happy because the
whole drive home we were looking up every day am
(12:00):
you know? I mean it was a called in the
emergency VAD, it was poison control, it was everything, and
we looked up the company name of the of the
fire Stars, whether or not was toxic. I was looking
at their patents and copyrights on USPTO dot gov to
see what was in these things. If this dog is
going to die. It was frantic. Yes, we came home.
She's alive. She's still here. Her name is Malie. She's awesome.
(12:23):
She's a Tasmanian devil, like I said, but she's ruining
our golf. I haven't played since so I have twice
or once. But Mallie has also affected our tournaments. And
we didn't go to Live even though we got media
credentials to go to Live in Tucson. It's the only
(12:46):
time where they're going to be that close to us,
the live tournament, and we're not going, and we have
not gone, and we can still go today. We could go.
As we're airing this, it's Friday, and they're still at
Live Into and we're not going because of our dog.
I mean I had JSX private charter plane tickets, I
(13:06):
had a car rental, I had a hotel reservation. So
people listening as and say, why don't you give it
to a friend, why don't you get a dog? Sent God,
I couldn't do that, did and all that stuff? How
do we answer that you can't? We just can't even
put anybody in that situation. So this dog has ruined
(13:27):
our golf. I'm golfing tomorrow and you are not because
of the dog. Yep, which is oddly enough, when we
decided that you never once even offered for you to
stay home and for me to go golf, even though
you've continued to golf. And I'm not let me tell you,
but you know what, I can't go golf tomorrow. You
know why I can't go golf tomorrow is your injuries.
(13:49):
Because when I took all three dogs out on a
walk when you weren't around, after said a giant fight
on the golf course, I got dragged out of my
rain boots about I don't know good ten feet in
the air, probably slammed down on the ground. The palms
of my hands are cut bloody. I've got bruises all
(14:10):
over the side of my body. I chipped a tooth.
That's a good one. Yeah, I got I got raggedalled
through the alley and it was unfortunate because it was
the alley, which is kind of like not is like
not asphalt. It's like it's not concrete. It's like asphalt
and greedy. Yeah, it's badly got you bad. It did
get me bad. So not only has this dog trashed
our house, ruined our golf, but has now physically harmed you. Yeah,
(14:34):
we love her. She's pretty cute. I don't want to
feel guilty for golfing them all. I don't know why
you do feel guilty for golfing, like you feel guilty
about shit all the time, and then turn around and
work up in your mind that like I'm sitting here,
you know, hating you were angry at you when like again,
(14:55):
like I wish I was out golfing, like I would
go golf Like I just don't understand this like you do.
So we went to the Malonois Club today in Compton
and to get her trained because this is affecting our life.
And we saw other malon walls who were doing attacks,
and you know, you get in those suits and then
(15:17):
they attack the people and then they call out like
calls and stuff to like halt and attack more and
create guns and it was crazy. They're shooting fake guns
with blanks in it. So the dogs don't get distracted,
like if they're in a police force or in the
Navy or the military, because these dogs are Navy seal dogs.
So we took Mallie there to to get some obedience
(15:39):
training and because we can't handle she needs to know
how to not cry in the crate and walk properly.
And she knows sit and stay and come and stuff
like that. But what is the future of us look
and golfing and leaving this dog at home. It seems
like your life will be fine and mine will be
(15:59):
forever changed. I want to tell you about your injury.
I still have golfer's elbow. It's been three minds and
it has not healed. Is terrible pain. I have that band,
that that sleeve thing, and the band thing. So I'm
not going to enjoy myself that much either, because so
you're telling me that you were going to go golf tomorrow,
(16:19):
but you're letting me know that you're not going to
enjoy it. Like, who are you? What is this? Like
what dumb John graybook did you read where you think that,
Like this is what you're supposed to say to me.
You play golf all the time, you have golfer's elbow,
Like wha, Like, do something about it. It very much hurts.
I get it. I had it too. You got to
(16:40):
change your grip and figure it the fuck out. But like,
I really don't think that's compared to like the fact
that like I physically can't golf because I'm battered and
record show that was not your no no, um, I
don't know, babe. If you feel bad, that's on you.
Like I don't know what to tell you. We are
(17:01):
going to redeem ourselves and play Tarahatta again, and we
might even leave our club because you know, we were
playing maybe next week. We should book it now because
we didn't get to finish Tiahuta and Darby did and
he loved it. He's like I'm playing this, Oh my god.
Darby said it was the best course he's ever played,
and so much love with it. I know, so unfortunately
(17:23):
has to play sand with us tomorrow, which he cannot stand.
I want to talk about my bag and what's in it. Um.
(17:46):
You say that listeners don't care, but I it's it's
a very big change. I have a big change. I
haven't talked about my bag in a long time. I'm
all ears, babe. Wow. First and foremost, Sanky Lab Golf
and Sam Han and Liam from Lab Golf. I got
my Link one putter, and I love it. It's sixty
eight degree lion goal. It's thirty five inches long. It
(18:07):
has a black accre shaft in it. It has no
alignment aid, which I have been debating whether or not
that's a good thing. But if you would have gotten
the alignment aid, we would be having the same conversation.
You would be debating whether or not you should have
not gotten it. You're right one. So one of the
big things that I found out in the course of
since our last podcast is I don't need as many
(18:29):
clubs in the bag as as everyone else has. So
the most you could have is fourteen. I have twelve
now and I've simplified my golf life and I like it.
So I have my Link one putter and I still
have my xexio X driver, which I'm never going to
get rid of. I also have my Peeing two hybrid
(18:51):
which is sixteen degree loft, and then I have my
Cobra rat Speed one length twenty one degree Jesse is
yawning right now, four hybrid. But so those are all say,
my hybrids, my driver, and my putter state, but my
irons have changed. You use the Tireless T four hundreds
(19:13):
for your irons, and for your wedges you use the
King Cobra F nine one length wedges, so you're pitching wedge,
your gap wedge, and your sandwich are all that one length.
It's true, I bought that set for me. You took
those wedges for me, and I really really like those wedges.
That is also true. What is left over or from
(19:34):
the T four hundred set is the thirty eight degree,
the forty three degree, the forty nine degree, and the
fifty five degree so I said, and then the six
seven and eighth degree at the sixty seven and eight
iron from the F nine. So basically what I did
is I swapped your set and I got it in
my set. Yeah, we have matching swapped sets. Matching swap sets.
(19:57):
So now I only have four wedges and three irons.
That's it. My longest iron is a six iron, so
I have a six iron, and then my loftiest wedge
is a fifty five degree. I only have twelve clubs
in the bag and I played the other day and
it was awesome. It simplified my brain. I'm just going
(20:19):
to make do with what I have, and I don't
have to have all these extra clubs that I'm not
using or gives me anxiety, Like the five iron gave
me anxiety. I know I can hit it, but I
don't want to hit it. So I have a six
iron now, which what am I losing about? Fifteen yards? Yeah,
but I don't get to stare at it, and that
makes me happy. I love that we're having this conversation
surrounded by literally ten sets of golf clubs in our office.
(20:45):
As you know, my goal is always to sell everything
and have one set and perfect that set. I'm not
there yet, but listen, you've made huge, huge leaps and
bounds and strides and whatever with this whole Lab Golf
link one Potter. I mean, I'm Sam would just be
so proud. I am a Lab Golf guy. Now I
(21:07):
have the man. You've literally been walking around all for
like the last couple of weeks ever since you got it,
and you're like, I'm just a Lab golf guy. Now, Yeah,
I have three Lab golf putters, and I've sold like
three of my other putters. I sold a ping PLD,
I sold the Scottie, I sold a Toulon, so they're
slowly going away. Jason, I knew you'd come around. I
mean even when Sam was in town and he was like,
(21:28):
what do you want, Well, I'll give you anything you want,
and bless his heart's so wonderful. Oh and by the way,
I sent him one of my rat speed one length
hybrids because he played with it with me. He did
text me to tell me that that was now his
favorite club. I knew he would love it. Yeah, it's
one of the best clubs ever. Yeah. I always thought
you'd come around to Lab. I mean, Sam trying to
(21:50):
give me a club anything I wanted, trying to give
me a new link, which I actually now kind of
wish I would have taken him up on because yours
is so beautiful. It's heavy, and it's gorgeous and it
just puts so straight and true, like it's it's amazing,
but I won't do anything like my mes is my baby.
I don't even like potting with other potters to even
(22:12):
try them. Like you're always trying to get me to
try putters, and I've said this time and time again,
like I don't want to do anything to my stroke.
You know what I speaking of my putting stroke, Like
I've really learned something. I started trying something I think
after we played golf with Sam, and it wasn't anything
he had really told me to do, but I think
I was just watching him and some of the guys.
(22:32):
And I've been putting my feet way closer together, which
is kind of change. It's obviously changed my stance, but
you know, I go back and I go to move
forward through the ball, and it's much more of a
shoulders a hinge. Was that what I'm trying to say? Rotation? Yeah?
And man, my putting has been on fire. I think
(22:54):
the last time I played around, I had something like
twenty three puts. You know, I wrote it down. It
was like twenty six parts. Oh wait, maybe twenty it
was twenty three. Yeah, you did really well? Did it
really good? That day? I just you know sometimes you
know too, that I feel like, you know, as much
as it sucks that I'm like banged up and I
can't play, and we have this you know, Tasmanian devil
dog that's taken over our lives, Like there is something
(23:17):
to be said for when I take little breaks in
my game. You know, we were playing four sometimes five
days every day, right Like I go out and like
it all falls right back into place, and I typically
have really good games after I've taken a break. So
as much as I'm bummed that I'm not out golfing
for a myriad of reasons, because it makes me sane
(23:39):
and not want to kill you the way I want
to right now, I should see the way she's looking
at me right now. It's evil. I'm scared. Mulligan time.
It's Mulligan time was drawn out. It was so drunk
(24:00):
on out. My Mulligan has to deal with gear. Just today,
Scottie Cameron came out with their new putters and it's
called the Super Select. And I don't care. I'm like
sitting here looking at you with this like shock on
my face that this is the first time hearing of
a new Scottie coming out like the whole you haven't
(24:21):
said anything like something so different with you. You're never
Roger Dunne anymore. You're not talking about new putters that
are coming out. Like, I don't even feel like I
know you anymore. I have. That's my mulligan. It's I
just don't care anymore. I have what I have in
this house, which is a lot, right, and I'm just
going to figure it out. Nothing excited. And this comes
(24:41):
back from the last podcast I said this nothing excites me.
January of twenty twenty three, so the whole product launch
and it's now leading into February and March. This is
when all the new gear comes out. I don't give
a shit. I'm not excited about any of it. What
I have works and if it doesn't, I'm going to
figure it out. Yes, the new Scotties came out. They're nice.
(25:02):
They have new milling, which is very interesting. The millings
very similar to the ping PLD which is very very ironic.
But I don't care, and I don't want to care.
I am a lab guy, now a lab golf. I
have my irons, have my driver, and I'm set and
like the need to go into Roger Dunn and I
(25:24):
still have like thirteen thousand dollars in credit. I don't
have that. I don't know if it's because we played
so much golf last year that I just don't care anymore.
I love golf. I still love golf. I'm crazy, but
I'm excited to play tomorrow. But I'm I'm I'm not
(25:45):
as jazz. I don't want to keep going into Roger Dunn.
It was exhausting for me. It was mentally exhausting. Yeah, yeah,
it wasn't It really stopped fulfilling you. Yeah, So what's
more exciting now is can I make what I have work?
I love that I've turned a new leaf. Baby, you
have turned a new leaf. Do you have a mulligan?
(26:05):
Something about live? Oh? Man, I'm so upset. I'm so
upset that we're not there on so many levels. Your
media badge, that's really pretty. You like photoshopped? Dude? To
get that? Like, what do you mean I photoshopped it?
Fuck you? No, I didn't. That was what are you
talking about? That was a picture of you and I
(26:26):
when we were out. I just cut you out of it.
I didn't photoshop shit. Wow. So anyway, Um, it was
pretty depressing to get that all emailed to us, and
like see our pictures on our media badges, and like
it's just live everything, live this live, that five day
passes media everything. We can't wait to have you come
(26:49):
out and you know, do a pod and do all
the things you're gonna do. And it's happening right now.
It's happening, you know. Just we still can go. We
still look, we can do a burrito run, we can
do that private charter jet whatever and just fly in
and take a car from Phoenix to Tucson, and we
can do it. But we have Malle Bandit and Katti,
(27:11):
our dogs, and they have changed our life. That's why
this episode, I mean, this whole thing about how like
we would never have children together and now we have
like three dogs. And I know people are gonna be like, dude,
you have someone watch your dogs. I wish it was
that easy. I feel like this would be a movie
(27:33):
where like we get some poor soul to come over
to take care of our three dogs and we're like, oh,
it'll be fun. And it's just like forty eight hours
or twenty four hours of just NonStop chaos. Are you
gonna go off with them? In tomorrow. No, I can't
(27:54):
if I have fun, Are you gonna be mad? No? Okay,
I'm actually looking forward to a little time to myself.
But I'm sure you won't have a good time because
you've spun up in your head that I'm somehow sitting
here pouting and mad. Don't get a don't get a
Belgian melon. While guys, you want to keep your golf
(28:14):
career going in your relationship, where can they find his baby?
They can find us at balls, the letter in Holes, golf,
balls in holes, golf. I'd love to say thanks for
golfing with me, but yeah, it almost killed each other
last week. So I hope you have a good day
(28:36):
golfing tomorrow, and yeah, I'll be back soon. Balls and
Holes is produced and distributed by the Eight Side Network
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