March 4, 2025 • 57 mins
Kurt and Scotty talk about the crazy life of the man who invented the saxophone, Wisconsin kayaker charged for faking his own death and fleeing to eastern Europe, a child tired of waiting for mom crashes into daycare and an Iowa man eats pork tenderloin in all 99 Iowa counties!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scotty Kurtie b hit me because boy, oh boy, I
need a laugh and laugh and laugh.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I thought about doing something funny, right, having a headline
that's funny, That's a classic Banana's way to start an episode.
But I can't because I'm so obsessed with this man
and there's nothing there's nothing funny about this until we
get into the details. But I am gonna tell you
all about Adolph Sachs, the inventor of the saxophone.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
I did not know that.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
I mean, I want a whole podcast, like a multi
serious episode podcast about this man. He is amazing.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Well, it's time to toot our own horns, because this
is gonna be just an instrumental to your life episode
of the bananas Pot Cast.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Would you Billiant Pieces, Birthday, John Bananasa.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Guys, Goals, non binary pals, Welcome to Bananas. I am
kurb Brown Older.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I am Banana Boy number two. Scotti landis you know
for the next fifty one minutes, don't worry about the world,
don't worry about anything except having a great time for
fifty minutes and thirty seconds with the Banana Boys. We're
here to ease you through the cruel existence that we're
currently experiencing.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
I am so excited just to be here in a
solo with you. We haven't done one in a very
long time. We just had a slew of guests.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
We a great guess, all wonderful, each better than the last,
and thank you, and keep a recommending guests to us too.
You'd be surprised we reach out to pretty much all
of them. People are very busy, they have their own lives,
they have certain windows of time where they can record things,
and there are a lot of people are very bad
at emailing, so and.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
A lot of people hear the name of the podcast
and think that sounds dumb, and we're like, no, no,
it's dumb on purpose.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
That's right, We're dumb on purpose. Speaking of which, Kurtie
B and I have a show in Phoenix on March
twenty ninth at three pm that Stand Up Live, which
is a very fun place to perform.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Huge, Huge Phoenix. You gotta show up because this place
is gigantic. If we don't have it at least three
quarters full, it's going to feel like an empty cavern.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Well I'm going hard either way, and remember to bring
an idea.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
You're gonna be drinking. Then you're gonna be dripping back right.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Off the wagon, I think. So it's been a it's
been a fun adventure. But it'll be fun to have
a couple of daytime BEVs with the ban animals.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Oh hell yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
But yeah, bring your confessions. We put a confessions box
out in the lobby, so when you come in, there'll
be a box that literally says Banana's Confessions on it.
We'll have index cards. Right, you're steaming hot but true
confessions and be a part of the Bananas Live Show.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
And Cincinnati, Cincinnati. I have never been to Cincinnati in
my entire life. I realized that when I had to Google,
when I had to look at it spelling five times
and be like, that's out spelled. Is that really how
Cincinnati is spelled? So I will be at the Commonwealth Sanctuary,
(03:30):
which is actually in Kentucky, but I guess I didn't
even know this. Cincinnati is part borders Kentucky as well. Sure,
so it's right over the river, I'm assuming, and it's
gonna be a great show. And that's May ninth, so
I'm just focusing on that one. Of course, there's Chicago,
there's Asbury Park, too, but May ninth, Cincinnati. Come on,
(03:51):
let's do it.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah, come on Ohio show, CURTI be you care. So
then the Banana Boys can follow suit and do an
Ohio show in twenty twenty five. Yeah, oh man, it's
eighty degrees today.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
I don't, I don't. I don't trust it, Scottie, I
don't trust a February eighty degree day. It makes me
slightly uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Yeah, me too. But I think after we record this,
you know, once in a lifetime very special episode of Bananas,
I'll probably take a long walk, like I'm talking like
a three hour just wander. Oh, look at foliage. Wait,
I like that fauna. It's gonna be nice.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I have my I I think I maybe I'm gonna
try and just blast some quads. I'm gonna work out
after this. But my I'm I've been so stressed. The
past ten days have been the most stressful ten days,
(04:52):
and like the last like it's just basically like last
week and the week I was traveling NonStop. I took
you were I took five flights in six days, so
that I had one day that I didn't fly out
of like a whole week almost and then immediately came
back and we had to put together this pitch in
three days two and a half days. And we put
a whole pitch together in two and a half days,
(05:12):
Lauren and I and then I'm very happy.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
With it, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
But you know, I feel like it's par for the
course for Scotty putting a pitch together in two and
a half days.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Sure, but I don't have anything going on. You have
a very full and complicated life. Also, happy birthday. You
were on the road for your birthday.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
But first time looked really nice. First time on the
road for my birthday. Oh, actually, I think in like
thirteen years I was on the road in Minneapolis for
my birthday, maybe in like two thousand and twelve or something.
But first time on the road for a long time,
and first time since I probably was seventeen or eighteen
(05:51):
that I wasn't drinking on my birthday.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Yes, but you did get a cake and you did
do two big ass shows.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Where were you York or toront I was into Vancouver.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Vancouver Ooh nice? Yeah, coud You and I hung out
in Oakland and had a wonderful time. You were so
funny that theater was gorge that Oakland.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
My goodness, God, damn Oakland killed theater. Comeil killed New
Hours great?
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Right, New Hours great? Molly and I drove up. Did
you really not know I was coming up?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
I mean no, I didn't. No, I didn't know at all. No, Kumel.
When I got there was like, uh, Molly and scotty'll
be here soon.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
I was like, what do you what? Yeah, we drove up.
We did a little road trip and uh, it was wonderful.
Oakland was great. There. There was a very nice woman
named Sharene who brought Comeil Pakistani food from across the street.
And it's the only food I ate that day. Looking back,
I woke up the next morning, I was like, all
I had was that delicious Pakistani food, So thank you?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Are you kidding? That's all you ate all day long?
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Did you drop?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Really?
Speaker 1 (06:57):
We just kept we were hauling, but to get up there,
to make sure we were there ahead of the show
and check our hotel and get there. It's fun.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Well, I'm happy you were there.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
It was great. I was lovely to see you kill
it in front of so many lovely people. I'm sure
there have been animals in that crowd.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Here's Adolph Sachs, Dude, this is I mean, I got
this off of the depths of Wikipedia, which is an
Instagram page you should often follow heavy, but don't even
follow it because I get too many stories off of it.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
It's so great.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
This is just I'm just going to be reading this
man's Wikipedia page to you, okay. And it is so
it's so filled with amazing things, all right. So Antoine
Joseph Adolph was I guess his nickname sas. He was
a Frenchman. He lived from eighteen fourteen to eighteen ninety four.
(07:47):
I guess, sorry, he wasn't French. He was a Belgian
inventor and musician. He invented the saxophone in the early
eighteen forties. Early life. He was born eighteen fourteen in
what is now Belgium. His parents were, I'm gonna, you know,
jump aside.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Long ago for the saxophone. I would have guessed it
was from the fourteen hundreds.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Agreed, agreed, well, the saxophone. I don't know. I feel
like the saxophone feels like a more modern instrument, but
you couldn't exactly I couldn't exactly put my finger on
why maybe only because it's like in Lady in Red.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Maybe because it's in Lady in the Red, Lady in Red,
that Lady in Red? Is it even in that? I
don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Here it is so he was His parents were instrument makers,
which is awesome in the fact that there are no
more instrument makers people inventing instruments. Like I feel like
we got all the instruments and now we're just playing
with them, you know, and the only the only things
that are getting invented are like some insane like I
(08:55):
taught this plant to play a synthesizer, you know, like
that sort of instrument.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Good.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yeah, man, it sounds like that the whole time. So
here it is Sacks. This is little baby Sacks. Sacks.
It's funny to call him Sacks too. I mean, Sacks
faced many brushes with death. This is second paragraph, the
second paragraph of this man's life. Right as a child,
(09:21):
he once fell from a height of three floors, hit
his head on a stone, and was believed dead. At
the age of three, he drank a bowl full of
acidic water, mistaking it for milk, and later swallowed a pin.
He received serious burns from a gunpowder explosion and once
fell into a hot cast iron frying pan, burning his
(09:43):
side go. Several times he avoided accidental poisoning and asphyxiation
from sleeping in a room where varnish furniture was drying.
Another time, young Sacks was struck on the head by
a cobblestone and fell into a river, almost dying. If
you are wondering what it takes, if you're wondering if
(10:03):
you have what it takes to invent the saxophone, this
is what you need to go through. You need to
almost die eight times before the age of eleven. All right, Yes,
his mother once said that quote, He's a child condemned
to misfortune. He won't live. Whoa wow to have that
(10:23):
in print, that means she said it to someone. Of note,
that wasn't just something she said to nobody.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
And also think of medicine back then, in like hospitalists,
probably just some country doctor just kept getting called to
have to like the boy who wouldn't die, and they're like,
here you go patch him up.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
His mother Okay, so his neighbors called him little Sax
the ghost. So after leaving the Royal Conservatory of Brussels,
sax Beyond experiment with new instrument designs while his parents
continued their business of making conventional instruments. Sacks first important
invent was an improvement in the bass clarinet. Then he
(11:04):
began working on valved bugles and paris in eighteen forty two.
Of course it's a classic. It's a classic lateral valve
fugle move. While he did not invent the systrument, his
examples were much more successful than those of his rivals
and became known as sax horns. Hector Billios was enamored
(11:24):
of these blah blah blah. Then he invented something called
a fugal horn. Today, sax horns are sometimes used in
concert bands, that's interesting, marching bands and orchestras. The sax
horn also laid the groundwork for the more modern euphonium.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
I know about that one, I did not.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
The sax also developed the saxotromba family of valved brass
instruments with narrower bore than the sax horns in eighteen
forty five, but they only survived briefly. Just like him
as a child, the use of sax horns spread rapidly.
The sax horn valves were accepted as state of the
art in their time and remain largely unchanged today. That's
(12:03):
pretty surprising.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bah bah.
In the period around eighteen forty he invented the clarinet boudon,
which is the old the contrabass contra bass clarinet.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Is what we call it now, sure it all the time.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
And then in eighteen forty six, Sacks of designed saxophones,
ranging from the soprano to the subcontrabass, although not all
were built, so he designed them. So he made the saxophone.
Here's here's where it gets weird again. During the Crimean
War eighteen fifty three to eighteen fifty six, Sacks made
two more inventions. First, he designed the saxo tonaire A.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I was just getting carried away, just a hamster shooter.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
He can't wait. A massive locomotive powered origin.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Which was.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Which was supposed to be so loud as to be
heard across all of Paris at once. Imagine playing the
locomotive powered organ. The person who plays it is death.
By the time they're doud plague it. It could be
heard across all of Paris. The second was developed in
response to the crimean Wars sage of Sevistpool, where the
(13:21):
French military and its allies were locked in a destructive conflict.
As a potential solution to such lengthy sieges, Saxon thus
designed the Saxocannon, a giant cannon whose half ton round
shots would be powerful enough to completely destroy a quote
average sized city. He's making the cannons. He's oh, and
(13:45):
then and then he died.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Weared that his instrument can entertain Paris, but this weapon
canoni blow up half of an average sized city.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
And I'm assuming that it is shaped as a giant saxophone.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Or i at least launched from a giant saxophone. Yeah,
just a big bellows on one end, and then it
just goes down and ski jumps out of it.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
And I'm imagining that the locomotive powered organ looks like
an organ that doctor Seuss would invent, you know, And
this is this is the I can't even.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Believe this detail.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
You know, how you play? Have you ever played a saxophone?
You ever played any woodwind instruments?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
This is my first attempt. Yes, I played it for
a month or something and was terrible at it.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Yeah, I think I played saxophone for like a year
or two.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Equally terrible Sex suffered.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
From lip cancer between eighteen fifty three and eighteen fifty eight,
but made a full recovery. What the guy who needs
his lips to play all of his instruments and then
he beat it five years later. I mean, this guy
cannot die. No, And then he died and then listened
to this, listen to this. In eighteen ninety four, he
(14:57):
died of pneumonia in Paris, in pop tea, in poverty.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I don't want to disparage the dead, but I have
a feeling if he had all that saxophone money, he
must have blown it on opium and sex workers.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
I think we definitely, I mean, like, first off, that's
why we need to have a multipart podcast about him.
Here's the other instruments. He invented scotti, saxotromba, which looks crazy,
sax horn which looks fine, sax tuba.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
That's gotta sound so funny and be so heavy.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
It is from the picture I believe it to be
if you put it on the ground, I believe it
to be eight feet tall. And then a person puts
it over their shoulders and then has it around, it
circles their body and then just shoots out the top.
And then a six piston trombone. This is the crazy
(15:54):
that looks doctor Susie. So imagine a trombone. Okay, but
then on the a right angle down from it. Okay,
you then have six more of those.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Slides, a vertical bone. That's cool. Yeah, and then the
only I had more arms to play it, you know,
you just wanna it seems like a word.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
I don't understand how you would play it. And then
a bass sax horn, which looks just like somebody took
like a tube and just crumpled it up and then
threw it on the ground.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
So this is why he was putting all his money
back into failed instruments instead. If he didn't, he should
just ridden the saxophone into the history books.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
I know, but we know his nad.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yeah, damn, that's a really good that's a really good
educational moment for this podcast.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yes, it is an educational podcast, so that's why we
have these.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
I like a saxophone, but yeah, I was terrible at
playing it. I didn't understand why there were so many
buttons and valves. I was fine it making and I
was finally blowing on that saxophone and getting a sound
to come out of it. But I had no idea
what notes I was playing, but it was It's a
stylish looking instrument. I have to say, like I was watching,
(17:13):
I was. I did some traveling last year. I was
in Venice, Italy, and there's yeah, I think in Saint
Catherine Square they have the thing where you sit outside
and every restaurant or ice cream place has its own
house band on a stage outside and they take turns
playing standards and famous Italian songs and stuff, and then
so one to play for twenty minutes, and you have
(17:33):
a couple of drinks, and then two shops down their
band plays, and then across the thing their band plays,
and you got tourists just walk around. But if you
take a seat, you kind of get to see one
group play I don't know, four or five songs if
you stay for a couple hours. And I was blown
away by the clarinet player. My guy, I was like,
I didn't know that's what clarinet sounded like in small
(17:56):
instrumental bands. Oh my big takeaway from Italy. I'm a
clear net guy and I didn't know that great instrument.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
It is a great instrument, isn't it. It's like a
little it's like a higher pitch saxophone. It feels like
I think that's what it sounded like, right, yeah, thinking
of the right thing.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Well it's a little maybe no, not higher pitch. Yeah, oh,
I would say like a breathier God, it's the right
way to say it. It's a it's like a warmer,
less squeaky sound.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Oh okay, great, that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Mace one, but I mean, God, bless the saxophone. It's
a cool instrument. And if you if you're at a
wedding and then somebody in the wedding band pulls out
that sax and starts warming up, you know that band's
going to be rocking. Yep.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
And I have I have a I have a famous
bit where I ship on the saxophone and I want
to announce that it was invented, invented outrage. I don't
really mind the saxophone that much.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
It's good to clear that up because we don't need
protesters outside.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I don't want any show because sometimes we get a
little controversial here. M all right, Scottie, get us one
for you know.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
I have another long one too about an equally Uh,
it's a long article, but this guy also had grand visions.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Let's do it.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Ranch On, come on, Yo sent this in thank you Rich.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
We should call this episode grand Visions of stupidity.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Okay, grand Visions of stupid men. And you could send
your stories into The Bananas Podcast on Instagram just DM
too a DMS those links. We love those links. Or
you can also email us at the Bananas Podcast at
gmail dot com. We check it a little less often,
but we do check it. Wisconsin kayaker charged after official
(19:48):
say he faked his own death and fled to Eastern Europe. Wow,
this is a good one. This one babbles in the
murder banana territory.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
It's always interesting when someone is just identified as kayaker.
A piece of information about this guy. That's all he does,
that's his whole personality. He's a kayaker.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, did they check the rivers of Eastern Europe? Maybe
they're very nice there.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
And we're talking about the flight discount website.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
This was on CNN dot com, which is sort of
a light discount website written by three people. Obviously, Kurt,
you can't tackle a Wisconsin kayaker with just one set
of thinkies.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
We got one person on the ground, we got one
person in the water, we got one person behind the keys.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Karina Suey, Amanda Musa, and Taylor Romine. Way to go, gals,
you really knock this one out of the park. Green
Lake County, Wisconsin. This one's got more twist and turns
than a saxophone. Kurt all Right Right, a Wisconsin man
who officials say faked his own death and fled to
eastern Europe, was charged with misdemeanor count of obstructing an
(20:58):
officer Wednesday after he turned himself back into authorities. Ryan Borgwart,
what a name?
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Bordwart spell borg bo rg.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
War dt.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
It got even better.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
It's a d Ryan Borgwart. I mean, you gotta love
somebody to marry him and be like I might be
become missus Borgwart. That's brutal. Ryan Borgwart, who was reported
missing in August, flew back to the United States willingly,
arriving on Tuesday, said Greenlink County Sheriff Mark Podole. Sheriff Poldole,
(21:37):
who remained tight lipped on why the man left his
wife and three children by allegedly staging a kayaking accident
where where he has been for the past four months.
In addition, in addition.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
To giving his wife and children the name Borgwart, he
then abandons.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Them, bingo, oh, I do not like Borgwart. We don't
like this man. He came back on his own, Sheriff
Poe Dole said during a news conference. When asked by
media why Borgwart decided return, Podule added his family. I guess.
I mean, I'm assuming that was his tone when he
said it, But that is.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
That is why you need three reporters. You gotta get
that kind of quote.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
So Borgwart's wife filed repetition for legal separation on Thursday. Yeah,
I guess, so that's a wise move. In Wisconsin, a
legal separation does not end a marriage on like a divorce,
but allows the court to rule in the same issues
of an upcoming divorce proceeding.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
I wonder what her last name is, because if her
last if they have a hyphen ended last name, and
her last name is like Alice.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Targlart Polywalk Borgwart Polywalk. Nice to meet you, Alice. You
can call me Alice BP. So yeah, Borgwart's wife is
requesting sole legal cut of their three teenage children. I
think so. Yeah. I think that seems like we should
granted that, and claimed that the twenty two marriage was
(23:07):
irretrievably broken. I can understand that too. Yep. So here's
what happened. I'm gonna skip a bunch of this stuff,
Poldole Sheriff. Podole declined to share the details of Borgwart's
time away and whether he had been in touch with
his family. The investigation involved a number of state and
(23:27):
federal agencies, including the FBI and Homeland Security. Borgwart, who's
forty five years old, was reported missing August twelfth after
failing to return from a fishing trip on Green Lake,
about an hour north of his home in Watertown, Wisconsin.
For seven weeks. Seven weeks in the Green Lake County
Sheriff's office search for Borgwart's body with help of trained volunteers,
(23:50):
but only found the man's kayak, a tackle box containing
his keys, his wallet, and his license. Wow, okay, suspicious.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
How does he get to the Eastern Europe without any
of that?
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Eventually, officials uncovered evidence that Borgwart had fled to Europe
by way of Canada. Investigators made contact with the father
of three on November eleventh, So August twelfth goes missing
a November eleventh, investigators make contact with the father when
they say they learned he executed a plan to fake
his own death for a quote number of reasons and
(24:24):
quote I would hope he had at least one reason. Yeah,
to abandon your entire family. I have a punch what
this is. And the day he vanished, Borgwart traveled to
Green Lake, one of Wisconsin's deepest inland lakes. There you go,
who Okay, with the plan of faking his own drowning.
(24:44):
Who and Saripoldo detailed the man's scheme. The experienced kayaker
paddled out into the water, where he deliberately overturned the vessel,
tossed his phone, and returned to the shore in child
size inflatable boat. Okay, it couldn't just swam, but we're
gonna He didn't want to get wet. Guy hates water,
he does. He hate Bourgwart hates water. Alice Pollywog can't get.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Enough of this stuff, and that is one of the
many reasons he chose to go to eastern Europe, just
more incompatible.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Borgwart then rode an e bike through the night. Kurt
just guess how many miles he rode through the night
on an e bike. You've written e bikes many times.
I have, I have all right through the night, through
the night. Yeah, eighty miles, good guess, eighty miles to Madison, Wisconsin,
go Badgers. Where then he boarded a bus to Detroit,
(25:38):
eventually crossing the Canadian border and flying to Europe. So
that was his escape plan.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
So but I don't understand. I like, he has to
have his passport, it's immediately registered. Anybody does one search,
they know exactly where he went, what is his Is
he just an idiot?
Speaker 1 (25:55):
I think they initially did think he was just dead
and missing and didn't think to like searched Canada, like aha,
what you McCall it customs or anything like that. So
before his disappearance, Borgwart transferred funds to a foreign bank account,
changed his email, and communicated woman with a woman in Uzbekistan.
Oh lord, the classic is Becha Stanic a criminal? That's
(26:23):
according to the sheriff. A criminal complaint filed Wednesday said
Borgwart brought approximately five five dollars in cash with him. Okay.
Investigators were ultimately able to contact Borgwark through Russian speak
through a Russian speaking woman, though He declined to say
whether she was the woman he had been communicating with
in his Beekistan or whether he was with her. Burgwart
(26:47):
told police he had heavily researched how to disappear by
looking up previous disappearance cases, and that everything hinged on
me dying in that lake, he said, And the whole
idea was to sell the death in January. I mean,
all our murder bananas they know this one. Yeah. In January,
(27:07):
Borgwak took out a three hundred and seventy five thousand
dollars life insurance policy, which Poldol said was intended to
help his family. So he's a thoughtful guy.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Oh, look very thoughtful. He wants to go boink in.
He's pekistan um but Cher.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Poldol says that Borgwark has expressed regret for how he
hurt his family and also feels bad about the amount
of hours that he has put the community through.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
I mean, come on, man, I am so excited for
Borgwark to go to jail. I am very rarely excited
for someone to go to jail. I want him to
rot in jail.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
I don't think he'll go that long. I mean, I
don't think it's like that big of a crime to
be a dickhead. The long extensive search for Borgwark was
costly and emotional taxing. It was an endeavor for both
his family and charch crews. Borgwalk previously told investigators they
thought that they would stop searching for him after two weeks.
(28:01):
Potal said, quote, he picked the wrong sheriff and the
wrong department. They yeah, totaled for so long.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
So total just sniffed something fishy. Huh, that's what he thought.
He was just like this, done that up.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Yeah, So in October, so he disappeared in August and
October investigators learned from Canadian officials that Borgwart had entered
the country on August thirteenth, so the next day after
the Drowningwart's passport was found at the family home. But
learned that after he left the country, they did a
deeper search on his computer and they found that he
(28:40):
had replaced his hard drive on his laptop, cleared his
browsing history on the Davis disappearance, and he had also
reported his passport stolen and obtained a replacement secretly last spring.
So oh, I see he had two passports. He lied
about losing one, so Yeah, that's.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Uh, he's he's supposed to hit in his mind, the
person crossing is going to be the person who stole
his passport. Is that like what people are supposed to believe.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Or they're just supposed to find his old passport in
the house and not think I think he was just
really thought he would make it look like he died
in the one of the deepest lakes in Wisconsin.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Is there any way? I mean, like, I guess there's
a way on some level to like to cross into Canada.
Not at a checkpoint like through the woods, but it's
probably like a twenty mile at like the narrowest point,
like a twenty mile hike that you would have to do.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
And the road is teenage will do it all the time.
I have a few things. I think it's so doable. Sure,
that's a huge border.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
That's a huge border, right, so you can easily get
into Canada. How do you get to eastern Europe without
using a passport? Like a fishing boat, but still fishing
boats are checked when they come, Like, no, fishing boats
don't go from from.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
One hell of a Canada. His solar powered I guess
the sailboat the coolest sailboat ever, But yeah, no, he flew.
He just had a passport. He just man and you Okay,
so what do you think happened? He fell in love
with catfish online? Right, don't you think it was catfish
(30:18):
or mat order something?
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Yeah, Or it's just like a bot. It was just
an AI bot that he fell in love with. Yeah,
and then he decided to destroy his entire life.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Yeah, blow up his whole life for a cam girl
bot in his Bekistan.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
At forty five. Like sure, I'm sure he was very
unhappy in his life to lead him to do this.
But like at forty five, do you really you really
think you're going to start over and uz Bekistan? You
don't speak Russian? You don't speak Uzbek is Uzbeka language.
I bet you it is.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
I bet they have some dialect of Uzbek.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Yeah, I don't. I couldn't identify whoz Bekistan on a map,
could you.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
I could put my hand on a globe and I
think I could cover it, but it would be my
whole hand hand fingers.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Definitely could do that. I could put my whole hand there.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
I know the general reha Yeah it No, I could not.
I so when I was right before you and I
left New York and moved to LA We had mutual
friends with a big group of dudes, but I wasn't
close enough to be in the wedding or anything. And
they all went to a bachelor party in November in
(31:28):
Myrtle Beach. Okay, so not you know Myrtle Beach of
South Carolina. But November is not worn. That is, the
beach is very shut down. The tourism is gone. I
don't think anybody's even playing miniature golf at that. What
year we talking about, twenty twenty eleven?
Speaker 3 (31:47):
Got it?
Speaker 1 (31:47):
So I had two friends that went on that trip.
I had like five friends that went on the troop,
but two of them were named Thomas. Their names are
not really Thomas, ok. But two guys named Thomas and
good guys, funny guys. So there's nothing to do in
Myrtle Beach besides like eat steaks. I don't know. I
don't even know what you do. The weather was crap,
(32:08):
it was cold. And when they came back we met.
We met at Fourth Avenue Pub. Why did they go?
Speaker 2 (32:13):
Do you know why they went?
Speaker 1 (32:15):
I think they had heard of it. I mean it
was a bachelor party. Was why they all went.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
It was like, you know what I mean, like, but
why were Myrtle Beach in November?
Speaker 1 (32:23):
I have no idea. I think maybe they heard that
Myrtle Beach was awesome and they didn't realize it was
not that far south that it wasn't mean Miami.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
That's crazy, okay.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Or maybe they were broke, I don't know. So they
go down and there there are adult clubs there, and
I think they went to some strip clubs and two
of the dancers apparently took a real shine to the
Thomases because the Thomases were the most single dudes there.
(32:57):
They were unmarried. I don't think they had girlfriends at
the time, And so for three nights in a row,
the guys went to the same strip club, Treasure Club,
and they both swore that the these two specific dancers
loved them. Yeah. Yeah, and the Thomas I knew better again.
(33:21):
I'm getting this in Brooklyn when they all return back,
is devastated because on the third night, after spending fifteen
hundred dollars, he shot his shot and said, can I
have your number? Maybe you can come visit New York
or Brooklyn. Maybe I can come down here and she says,
of course, and gives him a fake telephone number. So
(33:45):
he is devastated, and we are all like, you fool.
Part of the transaction in those places is for them
to make you think that they love you. And for
three nights he just dumped so much money to lap
dances and drinks and everything you do you want to hear?
What's even more, bananaskart. Yeah, and the other Thomas married
(34:10):
his dancer months later in New York City and they
are still together.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
They're still together, yes, and they live in New York.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Yes. Because I we were like, dreams do come true exactly,
Dreams do come true like a saxophone. Life has lots
of turns. And we were making so much fun of
my closer friend Thomas for falling for it and just
blowing out all his money on a woman that will
never communicate in hopes to never see him again. And
(34:43):
the other guy did it. He pulled off the impossible,
and she came up and moved in with them, and
they got married within three months.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Oh believe god, I love that song.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
I know it's kind of like So the moral is,
we don't know.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
We don't know, There is no way, there is no
moral either way. Everything's possible. Life is remember when you
walk into a strip club, Guys, everything's possible. If you're
looking to get married, it could happened tonight or never
and never, and don't fall for it, you stupid idiots.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Don't be an idiot. They don't love you. But sometimes
sometimes do you live with you forever and be one
of the best things that ever happened to you. So
it's really up to you. It's a coin toss, guys.
Everything in life is a coin toss. The tide goes in,
the tide goes out.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Mmm mmmmmm. I'll tease this into a little thumb's ubsession,
no thumbs up session. Who doesn't like that child tired
of waiting for mom crashes into daycare?
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Oh man, it's kids. They drive the darnedest things. I
love them. Okay, I do have some good thumbs ups.
This one actually got an update since I put it
on my list, so I'll give you the update at
the end. Larissa Cameron is a bananimal who lives in
Jamaica and she works for the Peace Corps.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Okay, awesome.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
She's doing a fundraiser for a seedling nursery project where
they're growing seed links. It makes it easier for farmers.
They're basically going to retrofit greenhouses to grow seedlings, which
increases crop yield in Jamaica. Nice we donated, Kurt, I
donated on our behalf and ban animals. If you want to,
I will put the link for Larissa's project in our
(36:42):
stories for a couple of days. But also Larissa says
it got fully funded, so in the time, since I
didn't have time to get to this one yet, she
did let me know a couple days ago that it's
fully funded. So congratulations, Larissa Cameron. I mean, working for
the Peace Corps alone is wonderful, but then also funding
this great thing that's gonna help farmers in Jamaica.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Yeah, thumbs ups, right on thumbs up.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
May Bacon is thumbing up Kristin Shaw all right, a
huge fan of her since Flay the Concords and Kristinshaw
is a horse which Kurt invented with Kristin. May says,
I know this isn't a real thumbs up, but if
I could say hi to Kristin on an EPP, I
would absolutely lose it. So May Bacon is saying hi,
Kristin Shaw on bananas. I will tell her, we will
(37:28):
tell her We're going to watch the Oscars with her.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Is that this Sunday?
Speaker 1 (37:33):
I believe it is. Oh boy, I know Maya Miller.
There is a baker Kurd and she did send us
some gluten free banana cookies in the past and they
were delicious. So Maya, thank you so much. She's telling me. Yeah,
she's thumbing herself up for starting a new podcast for
Love and Frosting and a blog with the same name
(37:54):
for Love and Frosting. She's also writing a new novel
after self publishing a novel appast year called Waste to
Say Goodbye. Maya's a very busy, smart person and if
you love baking or reading, I would suggest you check
out the four Love and Frosting podcast and blog. That's
(38:14):
great thumbs up Maya.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Or now what I was just thinking about it, Like
with everything that we like, it's so cool. Self publishing
is awesome in the fact that like, you can write something,
you can get it out there and it exists.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
It's real, you know where it's.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Like all of these things we write, you and I
the hundreds and hundreds of pages that are read by
like four nerds at a network and then thrown in
the trash and they never go anywhere. It's infuriating. But
imagine if you just like, oh, yeah, go to my Amazon.
You can see all of my You can go to
(38:50):
see all of the scripts I wrote in the past
ten years, that would be great. Be like, look at
that I did something. I didn't waste twelve years of
my life in Los Angeles just developing for idiots.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Yep, that's right. There's a there's a series of like
storage locker things, big sort of walking closets on the
Paramount Pictures lot, and every time I walk by it
to pitch, yeah, I have to not look at it
because apparently it is full of bought scripts that were
never produced, but Paramount didn't want other studios to have it.
(39:23):
So it is just like rows and rows and rows
of boxes and boxes and boxes of full feature screenplays
that were optioned or purchased and never shot.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
Think about that too. Before email, it was just a
physical thing that a studio could put it to a
cage and put a lock on.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
That's crazy physical. So they were hiding it and locking
it away. I think some got ruined during a flood
or rains or fire or something. But I'm like the
sheer amount of creative will power to sit down and write.
I mean. And also, you know, like Ozarks, A lot
of people like the TV show Ozarks. The pilot script
was just on a pile of failed scripts and Jason
(40:07):
Bateman's manager read it was like maybe this and then
brought it back to life like a decade after it
was written.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Wow, Black Monday was the same thing that Showtime show
that I was on was written ten years beforehand, and
like they went in to pitch a new idea and
the assistant accidentally sent the old this script from ten
years ago, and they were like they sat down in
the pitch, like we read the script, we love the script,
(40:33):
and like, oh no, no that was no. Oh you're
talking about that. No, no, that's ten years ago.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
That's dead.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
They're like, no, we want to buy it. And that's
how it happened. Yeah, because an assistant accidentally sent the
wrong script.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
And back to your original point, it's because they exist
in the world. So self publishing is so valuable because
you never know who's going to read it and who's
going to go this was actually really good, So congratulations
Maya yeah, last, but not least, Georgie wants the thumb.
Her big sister braun Up Bron introduced Georgie to bananas
during the Great Choir, and every few weeks one of
them would text the other asking did you listen to bananas?
(41:06):
And the other would reply with an episode specific quote
like baby bird, whiskey in the mouth or eyes only
or whatever part they knew the other one would love.
So now they're closer than ever. And Georgie says they
grew up in a house that wasn't very emotional. You
really weren't supposed to express yourself. So Georgie wants to
say I love you. Bron to her, yay, oh that's lovely. Yeah,
(41:31):
and those are the thumbs uppies.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Fantastic. All right, here we go. This is a child
tired of waiting for mom crashes into independent daycare. This
is on Fox four, written by Dave DeMarco and you Dave.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Best in the business.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
This is an Independence Missouri. A woman is facing charges
involving a car the crash into a daycare Wednesday, but
she wasn't one behind the wheel. Please say the driver
was an impatient eleven year old boy. Count on me
Academy near two ninety one and Gudgel.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Gudge Go Beautiful Gudge Goal.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
Gudgel remains partially closed from the crash, only serving younger
children on the north side of the building. The other
half of the building's blocked off where a bush is
missing in front of the brick building and there's a
large crack and portion of the wall below the window
is pushed in significantly. These people went and looked at this.
I'm thinking, Hm, the window was pushed in. Okay, this
is a quote. The window was pushed in. It looks
(42:30):
to me at least four inches or more because you
can see the edging there. So I think it's probably
gonna cost a little bit to get fixed. Lisa Greenwall,
who works at the salon next door, said they didn't
even talk to anybody who works at the daycare.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
Salon workers they keep their eyes and ears wide open.
They are the original operators.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Police say a mother arrived around four pm to pick
up children at the daycare and left her eleven year
oldest son in the car.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
Quote.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
It's it's kind of scary leaving an eleven year old
char in the car. Car in eleven year old child
in the car unattended. Charlene Williams says, nowhere is it
explained who. Charlene Williams is a random person. Maybe she's
at this line, maybe she's getting her hair done. She's
just a person who has an opinion, and I would
like to speak to that opinion. You these I have
(43:24):
heard so many people like online, it's just this big.
We've talked about it too. Sometimes you gotta leave a
kid in a car.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
Okay, fine, eleven.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
Is like a I would say that's close to an
adult I've seen. Have you seen eleven year olds recently?
Speaker 1 (43:42):
I'm terrified of them.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
I am terrified of eleven and twelve year olds.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
I crossed the street when I see him coming, I'm like,
oh my mean this.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
The idea that you can't leave it. I'm not talking
about leaving an infant in a in the car, locked
up while you go to the bar for two hours.
I'm not talking about that. I'm talking leaving a kid
in a car so you can run into the store
and get something. Life is so hard, you got to
leave the kid in the car. Sometimes it's easy for
eleven year old. It's the kid's fault that I mean,
(44:12):
it's not the mom's fault. That kid got into the car.
This is what he said. Boy told police his mom
was taking too long inside, so he decided to drive off.
He thought the car was in reverse, but because he's eleven, fine,
it was actually in drive and he crashed into the building. Thankfully,
no one was injured. I mean, that kid's an idiot.
(44:32):
That kid should get in trouble, not the mom. Mom's
just trying to get stuff done, just trying to live
her life. I'm on the mom's side one hundred percent.
Don't think she should be. And they were gonna arrest her,
they were gonna is.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
A totally big kid, A big kid.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
Eleven is a big kid. Yeah, eleven is. You could
be left at home. I was definitely left.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Oh, we walked to school at after school. We would walk,
just walk to my to my sister had a friend
whose mom watched us after school. We just walk, you know.
Speaker 2 (45:06):
Yeah, I'm I oh the time my daughters seven. I'm
about to let her do the banking for the family.
She's smarter than all of us.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
She should she Yeah, she's better than turbotack. She's really good. Yeah,
eleven's totally fine. Also, I will say and I know
nothing of anything, of course, especially not being a parent.
But like the length of time that you leave kids
in child seats are car seats now seems it's so long.
To me. It's I have a car like one hundred
(45:35):
pounds or something, one.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
Hundred and twenty pounds. My car seat is rated to
one hundred and twenty pounds. It's like one of those
ones that like keeps changing, so like it starts off
as like a backward facing seat for when they're infants,
and then you like racket it up and then put
it on the back and then it's for kids until
they're forty forty pounds, and then you don't have to
use like the five point straps. You can use the
(45:56):
strap from your car, and then you take the back
off and then it's just a booster seat until they're
I don't know, eighteen years old and they.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
Stay riding the car. That's what it seems like.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
I wasn't in a car seat everver. Was I in
two car accidents? Yes? Did I break my back, yes,
But I was never in one.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
Yeah, because you're not a dork, You're just a regular
cool guy with a broken back.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
I'm a cool dude, who knows what it's like to
have a broken back when you're twelve.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
That's fine. No, I'm sure that they've saved countless lives
and injuries. And also, I'm a pro helmet guy. I
will yell out the window and people wear a helmet
when I see adults riding. Pro I'm in the city.
Speaker 2 (46:36):
I'm pro car seat.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
Yeah, but I do feel like it goes very very
long now, like I'm not. I'm a little surprised you
didn't say the eleven year old got out of his
car seat, got in the driver's seat and slammed into
the salon. But also, I do I mean, like take care.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
I mean, but the car seat culture is probably what
made that kid not understand that it was in drive.
You know, give them a little more responsibility so he
kind of knows how to drive the car a little better. Right,
maybe he could get home.
Speaker 1 (47:06):
They need to make car seats. That becomes something else
that just seems like a I guess you give it
to friends who have children or something, But don't they
just get demolished with the nil a wafers yogurt and
what you can.
Speaker 2 (47:20):
Like, you can disassemble almost all of the pieces, and
you can put the can't like the soft part into
a washing machine. Even after the wash it comes out
and it looks like the ghosts of disgusting have been there.
You can just see outlines of like melted raisinets and stuff.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
They need to make them so that they become like
elevated planting beds. They need to make biodegradable children's car seats,
That's what I'm talking about. An easy one too.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Made out of the stuff that egg cartons are made
out of, you know, so you can just get wet
and it dissolves. God, why do we have We're not
using them for eggs, so why aren't we using them
for car seats?
Speaker 1 (48:06):
Thank you? Okay, I mean not to be controversial, but.
Speaker 2 (48:10):
I don't like being controversial guys.
Speaker 1 (48:11):
But these are vision huge visionary ideas from stupid man.
Chris Talbert sent this in. Thank you, Chris Talbert. Oh boy,
I just got myself. This was This was on Kurt's
favorite website. Uh, pork business dot com. Come on, come on,
(48:38):
it was a pork business dot com written by the
best in the pork biz, Jennifer Shike.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
Is it really about the pork business or it is
we given the business to the pork. Now it's really
about the pork business.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
It is, and I could this is a true story.
I verified this one because when I saw pork Business
dot Com. Oh man, I'm glad I didn't open it
on a work computer.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
And then sometimes an episode just gives you a just
a wealth of different titles, and pork business dot Com
could also be a great title for this episode.
Speaker 1 (49:15):
It could have been the it could have been where
my friend Thomas's fell in love with the dancers at
business business dot com. And I'm not talking about the
dancers hell Man, Jennifer Shyke pork business dot com.
Speaker 2 (49:34):
Do you think the person who started pork business dot
com he's They got to be proud, right that they
like there. They put a lot of time and effort
into pork business dot Com. And they must have like cards, right,
they have calling cards that say like great great gene. Yeah,
the pork business gene at pork business dot com. Just
(49:57):
give me an email over that gen at pork business
dot com.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
They probably sell advertising. I mean, there's probably a few
people that pay their mortgage and their car payments because
of pork business dot Com.
Speaker 2 (50:07):
You know what I would this is what this is.
I think pork business dot com could make a lot
of money or renting out email addresses to people, because
if I could say email me at pork at pork
business dots.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
So happy, you would sell every pitch for the rest
of your life. Like I just follow up, will send
you a script and it comes to Netflix from pork
at pork Business.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
I'm actually gonna see if I could buy pork business
just different. Spell while you're reading this.
Speaker 1 (50:46):
Yeah, if you can always send your stories to pork
at pork business dot com. Oh my god, I think
I about have deleted the story. I was laughing so hard.
There it is, okay, okay again, this was sitting by
the Great Bananamal Chris Talbert. Thanks you.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
Okay. Oh wait, got it, pork business dot com. Make
it mine and it's b I z nyss.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
That's fine.
Speaker 2 (51:08):
Yeah, I'm getting it right now.
Speaker 1 (51:10):
Here's the article from Jennifer Shike at pork business dot com.
Mission complete. Iowa man eats a pork tenderloin in all
ninety nine Iowa counties. What this is a big one.
This is a big one. When JJ Goodwin revealed his
(51:32):
quest to eat a pork tenderloin in all ninety nine
Iowa counties. There were certainly a lot of people asking
the question, is he for real?
Speaker 2 (51:40):
No one asked that question.
Speaker 1 (51:45):
When here we go. I focused on pork tenderloins because
it's probably the most comferous. But it makes sense why
this story would be a pork business dot com.
Speaker 2 (51:57):
It really does. This is the most pork business article
that pork business.
Speaker 1 (52:01):
Yeah, they've ever done. Even the Great pig Stampede of
the nineteen eighties to would quite compete with JJ Goodvin.
I focused on pork tenderloines because it's probably the most
popular sandwich in Iowa, says Goodwin, who serves as the
chief explorer of the Iowa Gallivant, another website that I'm frequenting.
I knew it was going to be huge, but I
(52:22):
didn't realize it was going to be this huge. It
took off from video one. People were like, holy crap,
this guy is doing it. And again, what he's doing
is he's needing a pork tenderlined sandwich in all ninety
nine Iowa counties. First of all, didn't know there were
ninety nine counties in Iowa. So it's an educational podcast.
You're learning something every day. Since starting his Tenderloined tours
(52:44):
ten months ago, Goodvin's videos have accumulated more than twenty
eight million views. That's a lot actually across his social
media platforms. I made a tentative list of where we
were going to go, but my list probably changed fifty
times because we let the locals guide us. The lows
very rarely steer you in the wrong direction. Good Vincent
and paid attention to the comments. Every single time we
(53:06):
put up a pork tenderloin. There was always comments on
other places we should go, and the engagement was unbelievable.
Did you get pork at pork tenderline our pork business?
I got it.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
I'm trying to screen grab it so I can send
you pork business dot com?
Speaker 1 (53:20):
Is yours? Tell you? I'm pumped? Do you want what?
Speaker 2 (53:23):
Do you what? Do you want your email address to be?
At pork tenderloin, tenderloin at perk pork Business.
Speaker 1 (53:32):
I haven't.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
I haven't had so much fun in years.
Speaker 1 (53:37):
It's just that easy. It's good to have fun for
Woods Goods.
Speaker 2 (53:43):
This this this episode really picked up on the last story. Yeah, sure,
did I think I'm saying we got to call it pork.
At pork business dot com this episode.
Speaker 1 (53:54):
Switching it Up, We're switching it up. On February thirteenth,
he announced he will announce his favorite tender from the
ninety nine counties visited. My biggest takeaway here is there's
great restaurants all over the place. I can't tell you
how many off the beaten path places we went to.
Oh God, some restaurant, Goodvinstor has been away for people
(54:14):
far away to learn what pork tenderlines are true. I
mean they're massive too. These things are hammered flat Kurt.
They're bigger than a dinner plate. These sandwiches, it's like
a regular sized bun and then a home plate of
a baseball diamond size breaded pork tenderloin. Oh my god,
I'm trying to see if there's one. Okay, here's the
(54:35):
last sentence of the article on pork business dot Com.
Although he didn't share too many details from his travels
about what makes a great pork tender loin, he did
share one requirement. It has to be hot.
Speaker 2 (54:48):
That that is a basic requirement of most foods.
Speaker 1 (54:53):
At Goodvid just likes it coming out scorching hot, Kurt, I.
Speaker 2 (54:57):
Don't want to. It's an old pork tender.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
I think he described somewhere that I went over that
his preferred size are huge, elephant ear pork tender. Lloyd, Honestly,
if we do a banana show in Iowa at any point,
you know, I'm getting a pork tender loin when we go.
Speaker 2 (55:15):
Oh hell yeah, what's it? What's the city in Iowa?
Speaker 1 (55:17):
Des Moines?
Speaker 2 (55:18):
There we go, gotta go, I mean, Moin, Moin's pretty cool. Actually,
I like des Moines. I remember driving through there. I
saw this punk band Teenage Bottle Rocket at a like
I think it's called the gas Light in Des Moines,
driving cross country. They were great, and I was like,
well look at this little little Midwest punk rock.
Speaker 1 (55:40):
Yeah, I said, we go. Maybe we'll get a des
Moines show on the books at some point.
Speaker 2 (55:44):
Let's do it. I don't know, dm us if you
know what des Moines place?
Speaker 1 (55:49):
Heck yeah, And I think that's it for us. Curdie
b Oh, yeah, that's it. That's it. That's it.
Speaker 2 (55:54):
I mean, are you kidding? Made? We can't do email
us at Pork at Pork Business and tenderloin at pork
business dot com. Those will forward to the Bananas email.
If we can just say, send all your strange hues
to pork at pork business dot com.
Speaker 1 (56:12):
Well you now you've got to make business cards that
we can hand out a live shows of people.
Speaker 3 (56:17):
You know.
Speaker 1 (56:17):
Now we're in the pork business together. This has been bananas.
Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Speaker 2 (56:36):
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
Speaker 1 (56:39):
The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.
Speaker 2 (56:42):
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard, and.
Speaker 1 (56:46):
Our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia
Hartstart
Speaker 2 (56:49):
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot
intern
Scotty Kurtie b hit me because boy, oh boy, I
need a laugh and laugh and laugh.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I thought about doing something funny, right, having a headline
that's funny, That's a classic Banana's way to start an episode.
But I can't because I'm so obsessed with this man
and there's nothing there's nothing funny about this until we
get into the details. But I am gonna tell you
all about Adolph Sachs, the inventor of the saxophone.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
I did not know that.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
I mean, I want a whole podcast, like a multi
serious episode podcast about this man. He is amazing.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Well, it's time to toot our own horns, because this
is gonna be just an instrumental to your life episode
of the bananas Pot Cast.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Would you Billiant Pieces, Birthday, John Bananasa.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Guys, Goals, non binary pals, Welcome to Bananas. I am
kurb Brown Older.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I am Banana Boy number two. Scotti landis you know
for the next fifty one minutes, don't worry about the world,
don't worry about anything except having a great time for
fifty minutes and thirty seconds with the Banana Boys. We're
here to ease you through the cruel existence that we're
currently experiencing.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
I am so excited just to be here in a
solo with you. We haven't done one in a very
long time. We just had a slew of guests.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
We a great guess, all wonderful, each better than the last,
and thank you, and keep a recommending guests to us too.
You'd be surprised we reach out to pretty much all
of them. People are very busy, they have their own lives,
they have certain windows of time where they can record things,
and there are a lot of people are very bad
at emailing, so and.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
A lot of people hear the name of the podcast
and think that sounds dumb, and we're like, no, no,
it's dumb on purpose.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
That's right, We're dumb on purpose. Speaking of which, Kurtie
B and I have a show in Phoenix on March
twenty ninth at three pm that Stand Up Live, which
is a very fun place to perform.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Huge, Huge Phoenix. You gotta show up because this place
is gigantic. If we don't have it at least three
quarters full, it's going to feel like an empty cavern.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Well I'm going hard either way, and remember to bring
an idea.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
You're gonna be drinking. Then you're gonna be dripping back right.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Off the wagon, I think. So it's been a it's
been a fun adventure. But it'll be fun to have
a couple of daytime BEVs with the ban animals.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Oh hell yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
But yeah, bring your confessions. We put a confessions box
out in the lobby, so when you come in, there'll
be a box that literally says Banana's Confessions on it.
We'll have index cards. Right, you're steaming hot but true
confessions and be a part of the Bananas Live Show.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
And Cincinnati, Cincinnati. I have never been to Cincinnati in
my entire life. I realized that when I had to Google,
when I had to look at it spelling five times
and be like, that's out spelled. Is that really how
Cincinnati is spelled? So I will be at the Commonwealth Sanctuary,
(03:30):
which is actually in Kentucky, but I guess I didn't
even know this. Cincinnati is part borders Kentucky as well. Sure,
so it's right over the river, I'm assuming, and it's
gonna be a great show. And that's May ninth, so
I'm just focusing on that one. Of course, there's Chicago,
there's Asbury Park, too, but May ninth, Cincinnati. Come on,
(03:51):
let's do it.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah, come on Ohio show, CURTI be you care. So
then the Banana Boys can follow suit and do an
Ohio show in twenty twenty five. Yeah, oh man, it's
eighty degrees today.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
I don't, I don't. I don't trust it, Scottie, I
don't trust a February eighty degree day. It makes me
slightly uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Yeah, me too. But I think after we record this,
you know, once in a lifetime very special episode of Bananas,
I'll probably take a long walk, like I'm talking like
a three hour just wander. Oh, look at foliage. Wait,
I like that fauna. It's gonna be nice.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I have my I I think I maybe I'm gonna
try and just blast some quads. I'm gonna work out
after this. But my I'm I've been so stressed. The
past ten days have been the most stressful ten days,
(04:52):
and like the last like it's just basically like last
week and the week I was traveling NonStop. I took
you were I took five flights in six days, so
that I had one day that I didn't fly out
of like a whole week almost and then immediately came
back and we had to put together this pitch in
three days two and a half days. And we put
a whole pitch together in two and a half days,
(05:12):
Lauren and I and then I'm very happy.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
With it, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
But you know, I feel like it's par for the
course for Scotty putting a pitch together in two and
a half days.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Sure, but I don't have anything going on. You have
a very full and complicated life. Also, happy birthday. You
were on the road for your birthday.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
But first time looked really nice. First time on the
road for my birthday. Oh, actually, I think in like
thirteen years I was on the road in Minneapolis for
my birthday, maybe in like two thousand and twelve or something.
But first time on the road for a long time,
and first time since I probably was seventeen or eighteen
(05:51):
that I wasn't drinking on my birthday.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Yes, but you did get a cake and you did
do two big ass shows.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Where were you York or toront I was into Vancouver.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Vancouver Ooh nice? Yeah, coud You and I hung out
in Oakland and had a wonderful time. You were so
funny that theater was gorge that Oakland.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
My goodness, God, damn Oakland killed theater. Comeil killed New
Hours great?
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Right, New Hours great? Molly and I drove up. Did
you really not know I was coming up?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
I mean no, I didn't. No, I didn't know at all. No, Kumel.
When I got there was like, uh, Molly and scotty'll
be here soon.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
I was like, what do you what? Yeah, we drove up.
We did a little road trip and uh, it was wonderful.
Oakland was great. There. There was a very nice woman
named Sharene who brought Comeil Pakistani food from across the street.
And it's the only food I ate that day. Looking back,
I woke up the next morning, I was like, all
I had was that delicious Pakistani food, So thank you?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Are you kidding? That's all you ate all day long?
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Did you drop?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Really?
Speaker 1 (06:57):
We just kept we were hauling, but to get up there,
to make sure we were there ahead of the show
and check our hotel and get there. It's fun.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Well, I'm happy you were there.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
It was great. I was lovely to see you kill
it in front of so many lovely people. I'm sure
there have been animals in that crowd.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Here's Adolph Sachs, Dude, this is I mean, I got
this off of the depths of Wikipedia, which is an
Instagram page you should often follow heavy, but don't even
follow it because I get too many stories off of it.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
It's so great.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
This is just I'm just going to be reading this
man's Wikipedia page to you, okay. And it is so
it's so filled with amazing things, all right. So Antoine
Joseph Adolph was I guess his nickname sas. He was
a Frenchman. He lived from eighteen fourteen to eighteen ninety four.
(07:47):
I guess, sorry, he wasn't French. He was a Belgian
inventor and musician. He invented the saxophone in the early
eighteen forties. Early life. He was born eighteen fourteen in
what is now Belgium. His parents were, I'm gonna, you know,
jump aside.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Long ago for the saxophone. I would have guessed it
was from the fourteen hundreds.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Agreed, agreed, well, the saxophone. I don't know. I feel
like the saxophone feels like a more modern instrument, but
you couldn't exactly I couldn't exactly put my finger on
why maybe only because it's like in Lady in Red.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Maybe because it's in Lady in the Red, Lady in Red,
that Lady in Red? Is it even in that? I
don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Here it is so he was His parents were instrument makers,
which is awesome in the fact that there are no
more instrument makers people inventing instruments. Like I feel like
we got all the instruments and now we're just playing
with them, you know, and the only the only things
that are getting invented are like some insane like I
(08:55):
taught this plant to play a synthesizer, you know, like
that sort of instrument.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Good.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yeah, man, it sounds like that the whole time. So
here it is Sacks. This is little baby Sacks. Sacks.
It's funny to call him Sacks too. I mean, Sacks
faced many brushes with death. This is second paragraph, the
second paragraph of this man's life. Right as a child,
(09:21):
he once fell from a height of three floors, hit
his head on a stone, and was believed dead. At
the age of three, he drank a bowl full of
acidic water, mistaking it for milk, and later swallowed a pin.
He received serious burns from a gunpowder explosion and once
fell into a hot cast iron frying pan, burning his
(09:43):
side go. Several times he avoided accidental poisoning and asphyxiation
from sleeping in a room where varnish furniture was drying.
Another time, young Sacks was struck on the head by
a cobblestone and fell into a river, almost dying. If
you are wondering what it takes, if you're wondering if
(10:03):
you have what it takes to invent the saxophone, this
is what you need to go through. You need to
almost die eight times before the age of eleven. All right, Yes,
his mother once said that quote, He's a child condemned
to misfortune. He won't live. Whoa wow to have that
(10:23):
in print, that means she said it to someone. Of note,
that wasn't just something she said to nobody.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
And also think of medicine back then, in like hospitalists,
probably just some country doctor just kept getting called to
have to like the boy who wouldn't die, and they're like,
here you go patch him up.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
His mother Okay, so his neighbors called him little Sax
the ghost. So after leaving the Royal Conservatory of Brussels,
sax Beyond experiment with new instrument designs while his parents
continued their business of making conventional instruments. Sacks first important
invent was an improvement in the bass clarinet. Then he
(11:04):
began working on valved bugles and paris in eighteen forty two.
Of course it's a classic. It's a classic lateral valve
fugle move. While he did not invent the systrument, his
examples were much more successful than those of his rivals
and became known as sax horns. Hector Billios was enamored
(11:24):
of these blah blah blah. Then he invented something called
a fugal horn. Today, sax horns are sometimes used in
concert bands, that's interesting, marching bands and orchestras. The sax
horn also laid the groundwork for the more modern euphonium.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
I know about that one, I did not.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
The sax also developed the saxotromba family of valved brass
instruments with narrower bore than the sax horns in eighteen
forty five, but they only survived briefly. Just like him
as a child, the use of sax horns spread rapidly.
The sax horn valves were accepted as state of the
art in their time and remain largely unchanged today. That's
(12:03):
pretty surprising.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bah bah.
In the period around eighteen forty he invented the clarinet boudon,
which is the old the contrabass contra bass clarinet.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Is what we call it now, sure it all the time.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
And then in eighteen forty six, Sacks of designed saxophones,
ranging from the soprano to the subcontrabass, although not all
were built, so he designed them. So he made the saxophone.
Here's here's where it gets weird again. During the Crimean
War eighteen fifty three to eighteen fifty six, Sacks made
two more inventions. First, he designed the saxo tonaire A.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I was just getting carried away, just a hamster shooter.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
He can't wait. A massive locomotive powered origin.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Which was.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Which was supposed to be so loud as to be
heard across all of Paris at once. Imagine playing the
locomotive powered organ. The person who plays it is death.
By the time they're doud plague it. It could be
heard across all of Paris. The second was developed in
response to the crimean Wars sage of Sevistpool, where the
(13:21):
French military and its allies were locked in a destructive conflict.
As a potential solution to such lengthy sieges, Saxon thus
designed the Saxocannon, a giant cannon whose half ton round
shots would be powerful enough to completely destroy a quote
average sized city. He's making the cannons. He's oh, and
(13:45):
then and then he died.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Weared that his instrument can entertain Paris, but this weapon
canoni blow up half of an average sized city.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
And I'm assuming that it is shaped as a giant saxophone.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Or i at least launched from a giant saxophone. Yeah,
just a big bellows on one end, and then it
just goes down and ski jumps out of it.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
And I'm imagining that the locomotive powered organ looks like
an organ that doctor Seuss would invent, you know, And
this is this is the I can't even.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Believe this detail.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
You know, how you play? Have you ever played a saxophone?
You ever played any woodwind instruments?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
This is my first attempt. Yes, I played it for
a month or something and was terrible at it.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Yeah, I think I played saxophone for like a year
or two.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Equally terrible Sex suffered.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
From lip cancer between eighteen fifty three and eighteen fifty eight,
but made a full recovery. What the guy who needs
his lips to play all of his instruments and then
he beat it five years later. I mean, this guy
cannot die. No, And then he died and then listened
to this, listen to this. In eighteen ninety four, he
(14:57):
died of pneumonia in Paris, in pop tea, in poverty.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I don't want to disparage the dead, but I have
a feeling if he had all that saxophone money, he
must have blown it on opium and sex workers.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
I think we definitely, I mean, like, first off, that's
why we need to have a multipart podcast about him.
Here's the other instruments. He invented scotti, saxotromba, which looks crazy,
sax horn which looks fine, sax tuba.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
That's gotta sound so funny and be so heavy.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
It is from the picture I believe it to be
if you put it on the ground, I believe it
to be eight feet tall. And then a person puts
it over their shoulders and then has it around, it
circles their body and then just shoots out the top.
And then a six piston trombone. This is the crazy
(15:54):
that looks doctor Susie. So imagine a trombone. Okay, but
then on the a right angle down from it. Okay,
you then have six more of those.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Slides, a vertical bone. That's cool. Yeah, and then the
only I had more arms to play it, you know,
you just wanna it seems like a word.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
I don't understand how you would play it. And then
a bass sax horn, which looks just like somebody took
like a tube and just crumpled it up and then
threw it on the ground.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
So this is why he was putting all his money
back into failed instruments instead. If he didn't, he should
just ridden the saxophone into the history books.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
I know, but we know his nad.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yeah, damn, that's a really good that's a really good
educational moment for this podcast.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yes, it is an educational podcast, so that's why we
have these.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
I like a saxophone, but yeah, I was terrible at
playing it. I didn't understand why there were so many
buttons and valves. I was fine it making and I
was finally blowing on that saxophone and getting a sound
to come out of it. But I had no idea
what notes I was playing, but it was It's a
stylish looking instrument. I have to say, like I was watching,
(17:13):
I was. I did some traveling last year. I was
in Venice, Italy, and there's yeah, I think in Saint
Catherine Square they have the thing where you sit outside
and every restaurant or ice cream place has its own
house band on a stage outside and they take turns
playing standards and famous Italian songs and stuff, and then
so one to play for twenty minutes, and you have
(17:33):
a couple of drinks, and then two shops down their
band plays, and then across the thing their band plays,
and you got tourists just walk around. But if you
take a seat, you kind of get to see one
group play I don't know, four or five songs if
you stay for a couple hours. And I was blown
away by the clarinet player. My guy, I was like,
I didn't know that's what clarinet sounded like in small
(17:56):
instrumental bands. Oh my big takeaway from Italy. I'm a
clear net guy and I didn't know that great instrument.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
It is a great instrument, isn't it. It's like a
little it's like a higher pitch saxophone. It feels like
I think that's what it sounded like, right, yeah, thinking
of the right thing.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Well it's a little maybe no, not higher pitch. Yeah, oh,
I would say like a breathier God, it's the right
way to say it. It's a it's like a warmer,
less squeaky sound.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Oh okay, great, that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Mace one, but I mean, God, bless the saxophone. It's
a cool instrument. And if you if you're at a
wedding and then somebody in the wedding band pulls out
that sax and starts warming up, you know that band's
going to be rocking. Yep.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
And I have I have a I have a famous
bit where I ship on the saxophone and I want
to announce that it was invented, invented outrage. I don't
really mind the saxophone that much.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
It's good to clear that up because we don't need
protesters outside.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I don't want any show because sometimes we get a
little controversial here. M all right, Scottie, get us one
for you know.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
I have another long one too about an equally Uh,
it's a long article, but this guy also had grand visions.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Let's do it.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Ranch On, come on, Yo sent this in thank you Rich.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
We should call this episode grand Visions of stupidity.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Okay, grand Visions of stupid men. And you could send
your stories into The Bananas Podcast on Instagram just DM
too a DMS those links. We love those links. Or
you can also email us at the Bananas Podcast at
gmail dot com. We check it a little less often,
but we do check it. Wisconsin kayaker charged after official
(19:48):
say he faked his own death and fled to Eastern Europe. Wow,
this is a good one. This one babbles in the
murder banana territory.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
It's always interesting when someone is just identified as kayaker.
A piece of information about this guy. That's all he does,
that's his whole personality. He's a kayaker.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, did they check the rivers of Eastern Europe? Maybe
they're very nice there.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
And we're talking about the flight discount website.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
This was on CNN dot com, which is sort of
a light discount website written by three people. Obviously, Kurt,
you can't tackle a Wisconsin kayaker with just one set
of thinkies.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
We got one person on the ground, we got one
person in the water, we got one person behind the keys.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Karina Suey, Amanda Musa, and Taylor Romine. Way to go, gals,
you really knock this one out of the park. Green
Lake County, Wisconsin. This one's got more twist and turns
than a saxophone. Kurt all Right Right, a Wisconsin man
who officials say faked his own death and fled to
eastern Europe, was charged with misdemeanor count of obstructing an
(20:58):
officer Wednesday after he turned himself back into authorities. Ryan Borgwart,
what a name?
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Bordwart spell borg bo rg.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
War dt.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
It got even better.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
It's a d Ryan Borgwart. I mean, you gotta love
somebody to marry him and be like I might be
become missus Borgwart. That's brutal. Ryan Borgwart, who was reported
missing in August, flew back to the United States willingly,
arriving on Tuesday, said Greenlink County Sheriff Mark Podole. Sheriff Poldole,
(21:37):
who remained tight lipped on why the man left his
wife and three children by allegedly staging a kayaking accident
where where he has been for the past four months.
In addition, in addition.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
To giving his wife and children the name Borgwart, he
then abandons.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Them, bingo, oh, I do not like Borgwart. We don't
like this man. He came back on his own, Sheriff
Poe Dole said during a news conference. When asked by
media why Borgwart decided return, Podule added his family. I guess.
I mean, I'm assuming that was his tone when he
said it, But that is.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
That is why you need three reporters. You gotta get
that kind of quote.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
So Borgwart's wife filed repetition for legal separation on Thursday. Yeah,
I guess, so that's a wise move. In Wisconsin, a
legal separation does not end a marriage on like a divorce,
but allows the court to rule in the same issues
of an upcoming divorce proceeding.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
I wonder what her last name is, because if her
last if they have a hyphen ended last name, and
her last name is like Alice.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Targlart Polywalk Borgwart Polywalk. Nice to meet you, Alice. You
can call me Alice BP. So yeah, Borgwart's wife is
requesting sole legal cut of their three teenage children. I
think so. Yeah. I think that seems like we should
granted that, and claimed that the twenty two marriage was
(23:07):
irretrievably broken. I can understand that too. Yep. So here's
what happened. I'm gonna skip a bunch of this stuff,
Poldole Sheriff. Podole declined to share the details of Borgwart's
time away and whether he had been in touch with
his family. The investigation involved a number of state and
(23:27):
federal agencies, including the FBI and Homeland Security. Borgwart, who's
forty five years old, was reported missing August twelfth after
failing to return from a fishing trip on Green Lake,
about an hour north of his home in Watertown, Wisconsin.
For seven weeks. Seven weeks in the Green Lake County
Sheriff's office search for Borgwart's body with help of trained volunteers,
(23:50):
but only found the man's kayak, a tackle box containing
his keys, his wallet, and his license. Wow, okay, suspicious.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
How does he get to the Eastern Europe without any
of that?
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Eventually, officials uncovered evidence that Borgwart had fled to Europe
by way of Canada. Investigators made contact with the father
of three on November eleventh, So August twelfth goes missing
a November eleventh, investigators make contact with the father when
they say they learned he executed a plan to fake
his own death for a quote number of reasons and
(24:24):
quote I would hope he had at least one reason. Yeah,
to abandon your entire family. I have a punch what
this is. And the day he vanished, Borgwart traveled to
Green Lake, one of Wisconsin's deepest inland lakes. There you go,
who Okay, with the plan of faking his own drowning.
(24:44):
Who and Saripoldo detailed the man's scheme. The experienced kayaker
paddled out into the water, where he deliberately overturned the vessel,
tossed his phone, and returned to the shore in child
size inflatable boat. Okay, it couldn't just swam, but we're
gonna He didn't want to get wet. Guy hates water,
he does. He hate Bourgwart hates water. Alice Pollywog can't get.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Enough of this stuff, and that is one of the
many reasons he chose to go to eastern Europe, just
more incompatible.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Borgwart then rode an e bike through the night. Kurt
just guess how many miles he rode through the night
on an e bike. You've written e bikes many times.
I have, I have all right through the night, through
the night. Yeah, eighty miles, good guess, eighty miles to Madison, Wisconsin,
go Badgers. Where then he boarded a bus to Detroit,
(25:38):
eventually crossing the Canadian border and flying to Europe. So
that was his escape plan.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
So but I don't understand. I like, he has to
have his passport, it's immediately registered. Anybody does one search,
they know exactly where he went, what is his Is
he just an idiot?
Speaker 1 (25:55):
I think they initially did think he was just dead
and missing and didn't think to like searched Canada, like aha,
what you McCall it customs or anything like that. So
before his disappearance, Borgwart transferred funds to a foreign bank account,
changed his email, and communicated woman with a woman in Uzbekistan.
Oh lord, the classic is Becha Stanic a criminal? That's
(26:23):
according to the sheriff. A criminal complaint filed Wednesday said
Borgwart brought approximately five five dollars in cash with him. Okay.
Investigators were ultimately able to contact Borgwark through Russian speak
through a Russian speaking woman, though He declined to say
whether she was the woman he had been communicating with
in his Beekistan or whether he was with her. Burgwart
(26:47):
told police he had heavily researched how to disappear by
looking up previous disappearance cases, and that everything hinged on
me dying in that lake, he said, And the whole
idea was to sell the death in January. I mean,
all our murder bananas they know this one. Yeah. In January,
(27:07):
Borgwak took out a three hundred and seventy five thousand
dollars life insurance policy, which Poldol said was intended to
help his family. So he's a thoughtful guy.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Oh, look very thoughtful. He wants to go boink in.
He's pekistan um but Cher.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Poldol says that Borgwark has expressed regret for how he
hurt his family and also feels bad about the amount
of hours that he has put the community through.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
I mean, come on, man, I am so excited for
Borgwark to go to jail. I am very rarely excited
for someone to go to jail. I want him to
rot in jail.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
I don't think he'll go that long. I mean, I
don't think it's like that big of a crime to
be a dickhead. The long extensive search for Borgwark was
costly and emotional taxing. It was an endeavor for both
his family and charch crews. Borgwalk previously told investigators they
thought that they would stop searching for him after two weeks.
(28:01):
Potal said, quote, he picked the wrong sheriff and the
wrong department. They yeah, totaled for so long.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
So total just sniffed something fishy. Huh, that's what he thought.
He was just like this, done that up.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Yeah, So in October, so he disappeared in August and
October investigators learned from Canadian officials that Borgwart had entered
the country on August thirteenth, so the next day after
the Drowningwart's passport was found at the family home. But
learned that after he left the country, they did a
deeper search on his computer and they found that he
(28:40):
had replaced his hard drive on his laptop, cleared his
browsing history on the Davis disappearance, and he had also
reported his passport stolen and obtained a replacement secretly last spring.
So oh, I see he had two passports. He lied
about losing one, so Yeah, that's.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Uh, he's he's supposed to hit in his mind, the
person crossing is going to be the person who stole
his passport. Is that like what people are supposed to believe.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Or they're just supposed to find his old passport in
the house and not think I think he was just
really thought he would make it look like he died
in the one of the deepest lakes in Wisconsin.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Is there any way? I mean, like, I guess there's
a way on some level to like to cross into Canada.
Not at a checkpoint like through the woods, but it's
probably like a twenty mile at like the narrowest point,
like a twenty mile hike that you would have to do.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
And the road is teenage will do it all the time.
I have a few things. I think it's so doable. Sure,
that's a huge border.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
That's a huge border, right, so you can easily get
into Canada. How do you get to eastern Europe without
using a passport? Like a fishing boat, but still fishing
boats are checked when they come, Like, no, fishing boats
don't go from from.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
One hell of a Canada. His solar powered I guess
the sailboat the coolest sailboat ever, But yeah, no, he flew.
He just had a passport. He just man and you Okay,
so what do you think happened? He fell in love
with catfish online? Right, don't you think it was catfish
(30:18):
or mat order something?
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Yeah, Or it's just like a bot. It was just
an AI bot that he fell in love with. Yeah,
and then he decided to destroy his entire life.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Yeah, blow up his whole life for a cam girl
bot in his Bekistan.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
At forty five. Like sure, I'm sure he was very
unhappy in his life to lead him to do this.
But like at forty five, do you really you really
think you're going to start over and uz Bekistan? You
don't speak Russian? You don't speak Uzbek is Uzbeka language.
I bet you it is.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
I bet they have some dialect of Uzbek.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Yeah, I don't. I couldn't identify whoz Bekistan on a map,
could you.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
I could put my hand on a globe and I
think I could cover it, but it would be my
whole hand hand fingers.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Definitely could do that. I could put my whole hand there.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
I know the general reha Yeah it No, I could not.
I so when I was right before you and I
left New York and moved to LA We had mutual
friends with a big group of dudes, but I wasn't
close enough to be in the wedding or anything. And
they all went to a bachelor party in November in
(31:28):
Myrtle Beach. Okay, so not you know Myrtle Beach of
South Carolina. But November is not worn. That is, the
beach is very shut down. The tourism is gone. I
don't think anybody's even playing miniature golf at that. What
year we talking about, twenty twenty eleven?
Speaker 3 (31:47):
Got it?
Speaker 1 (31:47):
So I had two friends that went on that trip.
I had like five friends that went on the troop,
but two of them were named Thomas. Their names are
not really Thomas, ok. But two guys named Thomas and
good guys, funny guys. So there's nothing to do in
Myrtle Beach besides like eat steaks. I don't know. I
don't even know what you do. The weather was crap,
(32:08):
it was cold. And when they came back we met.
We met at Fourth Avenue Pub. Why did they go?
Speaker 2 (32:13):
Do you know why they went?
Speaker 1 (32:15):
I think they had heard of it. I mean it
was a bachelor party. Was why they all went.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
It was like, you know what I mean, like, but
why were Myrtle Beach in November?
Speaker 1 (32:23):
I have no idea. I think maybe they heard that
Myrtle Beach was awesome and they didn't realize it was
not that far south that it wasn't mean Miami.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
That's crazy, okay.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Or maybe they were broke, I don't know. So they
go down and there there are adult clubs there, and
I think they went to some strip clubs and two
of the dancers apparently took a real shine to the
Thomases because the Thomases were the most single dudes there.
(32:57):
They were unmarried. I don't think they had girlfriends at
the time, And so for three nights in a row,
the guys went to the same strip club, Treasure Club,
and they both swore that the these two specific dancers
loved them. Yeah. Yeah, and the Thomas I knew better again.
(33:21):
I'm getting this in Brooklyn when they all return back,
is devastated because on the third night, after spending fifteen
hundred dollars, he shot his shot and said, can I
have your number? Maybe you can come visit New York
or Brooklyn. Maybe I can come down here and she says,
of course, and gives him a fake telephone number. So
(33:45):
he is devastated, and we are all like, you fool.
Part of the transaction in those places is for them
to make you think that they love you. And for
three nights he just dumped so much money to lap
dances and drinks and everything you do you want to hear?
What's even more, bananaskart. Yeah, and the other Thomas married
(34:10):
his dancer months later in New York City and they
are still together.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
They're still together, yes, and they live in New York.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Yes. Because I we were like, dreams do come true exactly,
Dreams do come true like a saxophone. Life has lots
of turns. And we were making so much fun of
my closer friend Thomas for falling for it and just
blowing out all his money on a woman that will
never communicate in hopes to never see him again. And
(34:43):
the other guy did it. He pulled off the impossible,
and she came up and moved in with them, and
they got married within three months.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Oh believe god, I love that song.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
I know it's kind of like So the moral is,
we don't know.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
We don't know, There is no way, there is no
moral either way. Everything's possible. Life is remember when you
walk into a strip club, Guys, everything's possible. If you're
looking to get married, it could happened tonight or never
and never, and don't fall for it, you stupid idiots.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Don't be an idiot. They don't love you. But sometimes
sometimes do you live with you forever and be one
of the best things that ever happened to you. So
it's really up to you. It's a coin toss, guys.
Everything in life is a coin toss. The tide goes in,
the tide goes out.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Mmm mmmmmm. I'll tease this into a little thumb's ubsession,
no thumbs up session. Who doesn't like that child tired
of waiting for mom crashes into daycare?
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Oh man, it's kids. They drive the darnedest things. I
love them. Okay, I do have some good thumbs ups.
This one actually got an update since I put it
on my list, so I'll give you the update at
the end. Larissa Cameron is a bananimal who lives in
Jamaica and she works for the Peace Corps.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Okay, awesome.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
She's doing a fundraiser for a seedling nursery project where
they're growing seed links. It makes it easier for farmers.
They're basically going to retrofit greenhouses to grow seedlings, which
increases crop yield in Jamaica. Nice we donated, Kurt, I
donated on our behalf and ban animals. If you want to,
I will put the link for Larissa's project in our
(36:42):
stories for a couple of days. But also Larissa says
it got fully funded, so in the time, since I
didn't have time to get to this one yet, she
did let me know a couple days ago that it's
fully funded. So congratulations, Larissa Cameron. I mean, working for
the Peace Corps alone is wonderful, but then also funding
this great thing that's gonna help farmers in Jamaica.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Yeah, thumbs ups, right on thumbs up.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
May Bacon is thumbing up Kristin Shaw all right, a
huge fan of her since Flay the Concords and Kristinshaw
is a horse which Kurt invented with Kristin. May says,
I know this isn't a real thumbs up, but if
I could say hi to Kristin on an EPP, I
would absolutely lose it. So May Bacon is saying hi,
Kristin Shaw on bananas. I will tell her, we will
(37:28):
tell her We're going to watch the Oscars with her.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Is that this Sunday?
Speaker 1 (37:33):
I believe it is. Oh boy, I know Maya Miller.
There is a baker Kurd and she did send us
some gluten free banana cookies in the past and they
were delicious. So Maya, thank you so much. She's telling me. Yeah,
she's thumbing herself up for starting a new podcast for
Love and Frosting and a blog with the same name
(37:54):
for Love and Frosting. She's also writing a new novel
after self publishing a novel appast year called Waste to
Say Goodbye. Maya's a very busy, smart person and if
you love baking or reading, I would suggest you check
out the four Love and Frosting podcast and blog. That's
(38:14):
great thumbs up Maya.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Or now what I was just thinking about it, Like
with everything that we like, it's so cool. Self publishing
is awesome in the fact that like, you can write something,
you can get it out there and it exists.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
It's real, you know where it's.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Like all of these things we write, you and I
the hundreds and hundreds of pages that are read by
like four nerds at a network and then thrown in
the trash and they never go anywhere. It's infuriating. But
imagine if you just like, oh, yeah, go to my Amazon.
You can see all of my You can go to
(38:50):
see all of the scripts I wrote in the past
ten years, that would be great. Be like, look at
that I did something. I didn't waste twelve years of
my life in Los Angeles just developing for idiots.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Yep, that's right. There's a there's a series of like
storage locker things, big sort of walking closets on the
Paramount Pictures lot, and every time I walk by it
to pitch, yeah, I have to not look at it
because apparently it is full of bought scripts that were
never produced, but Paramount didn't want other studios to have it.
(39:23):
So it is just like rows and rows and rows
of boxes and boxes and boxes of full feature screenplays
that were optioned or purchased and never shot.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
Think about that too. Before email, it was just a
physical thing that a studio could put it to a
cage and put a lock on.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
That's crazy physical. So they were hiding it and locking
it away. I think some got ruined during a flood
or rains or fire or something. But I'm like the
sheer amount of creative will power to sit down and write.
I mean. And also, you know, like Ozarks, A lot
of people like the TV show Ozarks. The pilot script
was just on a pile of failed scripts and Jason
(40:07):
Bateman's manager read it was like maybe this and then
brought it back to life like a decade after it
was written.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Wow, Black Monday was the same thing that Showtime show
that I was on was written ten years beforehand, and
like they went in to pitch a new idea and
the assistant accidentally sent the old this script from ten
years ago, and they were like they sat down in
the pitch, like we read the script, we love the script,
(40:33):
and like, oh no, no that was no. Oh you're
talking about that. No, no, that's ten years ago.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
That's dead.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
They're like, no, we want to buy it. And that's
how it happened. Yeah, because an assistant accidentally sent the
wrong script.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
And back to your original point, it's because they exist
in the world. So self publishing is so valuable because
you never know who's going to read it and who's
going to go this was actually really good, So congratulations
Maya yeah, last, but not least, Georgie wants the thumb.
Her big sister braun Up Bron introduced Georgie to bananas
during the Great Choir, and every few weeks one of
them would text the other asking did you listen to bananas?
(41:06):
And the other would reply with an episode specific quote
like baby bird, whiskey in the mouth or eyes only
or whatever part they knew the other one would love.
So now they're closer than ever. And Georgie says they
grew up in a house that wasn't very emotional. You
really weren't supposed to express yourself. So Georgie wants to
say I love you. Bron to her, yay, oh that's lovely. Yeah,
(41:31):
and those are the thumbs uppies.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Fantastic. All right, here we go. This is a child
tired of waiting for mom crashes into independent daycare. This
is on Fox four, written by Dave DeMarco and you Dave.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Best in the business.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
This is an Independence Missouri. A woman is facing charges
involving a car the crash into a daycare Wednesday, but
she wasn't one behind the wheel. Please say the driver
was an impatient eleven year old boy. Count on me
Academy near two ninety one and Gudgel.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Gudge Go Beautiful Gudge Goal.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
Gudgel remains partially closed from the crash, only serving younger
children on the north side of the building. The other
half of the building's blocked off where a bush is
missing in front of the brick building and there's a
large crack and portion of the wall below the window
is pushed in significantly. These people went and looked at this.
I'm thinking, Hm, the window was pushed in. Okay, this
is a quote. The window was pushed in. It looks
(42:30):
to me at least four inches or more because you
can see the edging there. So I think it's probably
gonna cost a little bit to get fixed. Lisa Greenwall,
who works at the salon next door, said they didn't
even talk to anybody who works at the daycare.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
Salon workers they keep their eyes and ears wide open.
They are the original operators.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Police say a mother arrived around four pm to pick
up children at the daycare and left her eleven year
oldest son in the car.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
Quote.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
It's it's kind of scary leaving an eleven year old
char in the car. Car in eleven year old child
in the car unattended. Charlene Williams says, nowhere is it
explained who. Charlene Williams is a random person. Maybe she's
at this line, maybe she's getting her hair done. She's
just a person who has an opinion, and I would
like to speak to that opinion. You these I have
(43:24):
heard so many people like online, it's just this big.
We've talked about it too. Sometimes you gotta leave a
kid in a car.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
Okay, fine, eleven.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
Is like a I would say that's close to an
adult I've seen. Have you seen eleven year olds recently?
Speaker 1 (43:42):
I'm terrified of them.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
I am terrified of eleven and twelve year olds.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
I crossed the street when I see him coming, I'm like,
oh my mean this.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
The idea that you can't leave it. I'm not talking
about leaving an infant in a in the car, locked
up while you go to the bar for two hours.
I'm not talking about that. I'm talking leaving a kid
in a car so you can run into the store
and get something. Life is so hard, you got to
leave the kid in the car. Sometimes it's easy for
eleven year old. It's the kid's fault that I mean,
(44:12):
it's not the mom's fault. That kid got into the car.
This is what he said. Boy told police his mom
was taking too long inside, so he decided to drive off.
He thought the car was in reverse, but because he's eleven, fine,
it was actually in drive and he crashed into the building. Thankfully,
no one was injured. I mean, that kid's an idiot.
(44:32):
That kid should get in trouble, not the mom. Mom's
just trying to get stuff done, just trying to live
her life. I'm on the mom's side one hundred percent.
Don't think she should be. And they were gonna arrest her,
they were gonna is.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
A totally big kid, A big kid.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
Eleven is a big kid. Yeah, eleven is. You could
be left at home. I was definitely left.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Oh, we walked to school at after school. We would walk,
just walk to my to my sister had a friend
whose mom watched us after school. We just walk, you know.
Speaker 2 (45:06):
Yeah, I'm I oh the time my daughters seven. I'm
about to let her do the banking for the family.
She's smarter than all of us.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
She should she Yeah, she's better than turbotack. She's really good. Yeah,
eleven's totally fine. Also, I will say and I know
nothing of anything, of course, especially not being a parent.
But like the length of time that you leave kids
in child seats are car seats now seems it's so long.
To me. It's I have a car like one hundred
(45:35):
pounds or something, one.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
Hundred and twenty pounds. My car seat is rated to
one hundred and twenty pounds. It's like one of those
ones that like keeps changing, so like it starts off
as like a backward facing seat for when they're infants,
and then you like racket it up and then put
it on the back and then it's for kids until
they're forty forty pounds, and then you don't have to
use like the five point straps. You can use the
(45:56):
strap from your car, and then you take the back
off and then it's just a booster seat until they're
I don't know, eighteen years old and they.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
Stay riding the car. That's what it seems like.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
I wasn't in a car seat everver. Was I in
two car accidents? Yes? Did I break my back, yes,
But I was never in one.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
Yeah, because you're not a dork, You're just a regular
cool guy with a broken back.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
I'm a cool dude, who knows what it's like to
have a broken back when you're twelve.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
That's fine. No, I'm sure that they've saved countless lives
and injuries. And also, I'm a pro helmet guy. I
will yell out the window and people wear a helmet
when I see adults riding. Pro I'm in the city.
Speaker 2 (46:36):
I'm pro car seat.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
Yeah, but I do feel like it goes very very
long now, like I'm not. I'm a little surprised you
didn't say the eleven year old got out of his
car seat, got in the driver's seat and slammed into
the salon. But also, I do I mean, like take care.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
I mean, but the car seat culture is probably what
made that kid not understand that it was in drive.
You know, give them a little more responsibility so he
kind of knows how to drive the car a little better. Right,
maybe he could get home.
Speaker 1 (47:06):
They need to make car seats. That becomes something else
that just seems like a I guess you give it
to friends who have children or something, But don't they
just get demolished with the nil a wafers yogurt and
what you can.
Speaker 2 (47:20):
Like, you can disassemble almost all of the pieces, and
you can put the can't like the soft part into
a washing machine. Even after the wash it comes out
and it looks like the ghosts of disgusting have been there.
You can just see outlines of like melted raisinets and stuff.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
They need to make them so that they become like
elevated planting beds. They need to make biodegradable children's car seats,
That's what I'm talking about. An easy one too.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Made out of the stuff that egg cartons are made
out of, you know, so you can just get wet
and it dissolves. God, why do we have We're not
using them for eggs, so why aren't we using them
for car seats?
Speaker 1 (48:06):
Thank you? Okay, I mean not to be controversial, but.
Speaker 2 (48:10):
I don't like being controversial guys.
Speaker 1 (48:11):
But these are vision huge visionary ideas from stupid man.
Chris Talbert sent this in. Thank you, Chris Talbert. Oh boy,
I just got myself. This was This was on Kurt's
favorite website. Uh, pork business dot com. Come on, come on,
(48:38):
it was a pork business dot com written by the
best in the pork biz, Jennifer Shike.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
Is it really about the pork business or it is
we given the business to the pork. Now it's really
about the pork business.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
It is, and I could this is a true story.
I verified this one because when I saw pork Business
dot Com. Oh man, I'm glad I didn't open it
on a work computer.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
And then sometimes an episode just gives you a just
a wealth of different titles, and pork business dot Com
could also be a great title for this episode.
Speaker 1 (49:15):
It could have been the it could have been where
my friend Thomas's fell in love with the dancers at
business business dot com. And I'm not talking about the
dancers hell Man, Jennifer Shyke pork business dot com.
Speaker 2 (49:34):
Do you think the person who started pork business dot
com he's They got to be proud, right that they
like there. They put a lot of time and effort
into pork business dot Com. And they must have like cards, right,
they have calling cards that say like great great gene. Yeah,
the pork business gene at pork business dot com. Just
(49:57):
give me an email over that gen at pork business
dot com.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
They probably sell advertising. I mean, there's probably a few
people that pay their mortgage and their car payments because
of pork business dot Com.
Speaker 2 (50:07):
You know what I would this is what this is.
I think pork business dot com could make a lot
of money or renting out email addresses to people, because
if I could say email me at pork at pork
business dots.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
So happy, you would sell every pitch for the rest
of your life. Like I just follow up, will send
you a script and it comes to Netflix from pork
at pork Business.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
I'm actually gonna see if I could buy pork business
just different. Spell while you're reading this.
Speaker 1 (50:46):
Yeah, if you can always send your stories to pork
at pork business dot com. Oh my god, I think
I about have deleted the story. I was laughing so hard.
There it is, okay, okay again, this was sitting by
the Great Bananamal Chris Talbert. Thanks you.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
Okay. Oh wait, got it, pork business dot com. Make
it mine and it's b I z nyss.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
That's fine.
Speaker 2 (51:08):
Yeah, I'm getting it right now.
Speaker 1 (51:10):
Here's the article from Jennifer Shike at pork business dot com.
Mission complete. Iowa man eats a pork tenderloin in all
ninety nine Iowa counties. What this is a big one.
This is a big one. When JJ Goodwin revealed his
(51:32):
quest to eat a pork tenderloin in all ninety nine
Iowa counties. There were certainly a lot of people asking
the question, is he for real?
Speaker 2 (51:40):
No one asked that question.
Speaker 1 (51:45):
When here we go. I focused on pork tenderloins because
it's probably the most comferous. But it makes sense why
this story would be a pork business dot com.
Speaker 2 (51:57):
It really does. This is the most pork business article
that pork business.
Speaker 1 (52:01):
Yeah, they've ever done. Even the Great pig Stampede of
the nineteen eighties to would quite compete with JJ Goodvin.
I focused on pork tenderloines because it's probably the most
popular sandwich in Iowa, says Goodwin, who serves as the
chief explorer of the Iowa Gallivant, another website that I'm frequenting.
I knew it was going to be huge, but I
(52:22):
didn't realize it was going to be this huge. It
took off from video one. People were like, holy crap,
this guy is doing it. And again, what he's doing
is he's needing a pork tenderlined sandwich in all ninety
nine Iowa counties. First of all, didn't know there were
ninety nine counties in Iowa. So it's an educational podcast.
You're learning something every day. Since starting his Tenderloined tours
(52:44):
ten months ago, Goodvin's videos have accumulated more than twenty
eight million views. That's a lot actually across his social
media platforms. I made a tentative list of where we
were going to go, but my list probably changed fifty
times because we let the locals guide us. The lows
very rarely steer you in the wrong direction. Good Vincent
and paid attention to the comments. Every single time we
(53:06):
put up a pork tenderloin. There was always comments on
other places we should go, and the engagement was unbelievable.
Did you get pork at pork tenderline our pork business?
I got it.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
I'm trying to screen grab it so I can send
you pork business dot com?
Speaker 1 (53:20):
Is yours? Tell you? I'm pumped? Do you want what?
Speaker 2 (53:23):
Do you what? Do you want your email address to be?
At pork tenderloin, tenderloin at perk pork Business.
Speaker 1 (53:32):
I haven't.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
I haven't had so much fun in years.
Speaker 1 (53:37):
It's just that easy. It's good to have fun for
Woods Goods.
Speaker 2 (53:43):
This this this episode really picked up on the last story. Yeah, sure,
did I think I'm saying we got to call it pork.
At pork business dot com this episode.
Speaker 1 (53:54):
Switching it Up, We're switching it up. On February thirteenth,
he announced he will announce his favorite tender from the
ninety nine counties visited. My biggest takeaway here is there's
great restaurants all over the place. I can't tell you
how many off the beaten path places we went to.
Oh God, some restaurant, Goodvinstor has been away for people
(54:14):
far away to learn what pork tenderlines are true. I
mean they're massive too. These things are hammered flat Kurt.
They're bigger than a dinner plate. These sandwiches, it's like
a regular sized bun and then a home plate of
a baseball diamond size breaded pork tenderloin. Oh my god,
I'm trying to see if there's one. Okay, here's the
(54:35):
last sentence of the article on pork business dot Com.
Although he didn't share too many details from his travels
about what makes a great pork tender loin, he did
share one requirement. It has to be hot.
Speaker 2 (54:48):
That that is a basic requirement of most foods.
Speaker 1 (54:53):
At Goodvid just likes it coming out scorching hot, Kurt, I.
Speaker 2 (54:57):
Don't want to. It's an old pork tender.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
I think he described somewhere that I went over that
his preferred size are huge, elephant ear pork tender. Lloyd, Honestly,
if we do a banana show in Iowa at any point,
you know, I'm getting a pork tender loin when we go.
Speaker 2 (55:15):
Oh hell yeah, what's it? What's the city in Iowa?
Speaker 1 (55:17):
Des Moines?
Speaker 2 (55:18):
There we go, gotta go, I mean, Moin, Moin's pretty cool. Actually,
I like des Moines. I remember driving through there. I
saw this punk band Teenage Bottle Rocket at a like
I think it's called the gas Light in Des Moines,
driving cross country. They were great, and I was like,
well look at this little little Midwest punk rock.
Speaker 1 (55:40):
Yeah, I said, we go. Maybe we'll get a des
Moines show on the books at some point.
Speaker 2 (55:44):
Let's do it. I don't know, dm us if you
know what des Moines place?
Speaker 1 (55:49):
Heck yeah, And I think that's it for us. Curdie
b Oh, yeah, that's it. That's it. That's it.
Speaker 2 (55:54):
I mean, are you kidding? Made? We can't do email
us at Pork at Pork Business and tenderloin at pork
business dot com. Those will forward to the Bananas email.
If we can just say, send all your strange hues
to pork at pork business dot com.
Speaker 1 (56:12):
Well you now you've got to make business cards that
we can hand out a live shows of people.
Speaker 3 (56:17):
You know.
Speaker 1 (56:17):
Now we're in the pork business together. This has been bananas.
Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Speaker 2 (56:36):
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
Speaker 1 (56:39):
The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.
Speaker 2 (56:42):
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard, and.
Speaker 1 (56:46):
Our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia
Hartstart
Speaker 2 (56:49):
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot
intern
Host
Scotty Landes
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