Talkin' Turkey with Georgia Hardstark

Georgia Hardstark returns to the Bananas podcast! She joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about the fake Mr. Bean that caused a rift between Pakistan and Zimbabwe, a woman stopped in airport security while wearing a butt-plug containing her boyfriend’s ashes, a person who purchased a wild owl at a gas station and how Justin Bieber is afraid of Judge Judy!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scotty. Guess what what?

Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm going back to Minneapolis. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm not
bringing you. I'm doing stand up at ACME. Uh December first, second,
and third.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Come on out.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
That's a Thursday, Friday and Saturday at ACME. And it's
a fantastic club and it'll be really fun and we'll
do some stand up and we'll hang out.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
Oh that's so fun. So go see Kurt at ACME
in Minneapolis.

Speaker 1 (00:23):
December first through third. All right, are you ready?

Speaker 3 (00:27):
Oh? I'm ready to laugh and laugh and laugh.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
Here it is fake.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Mister Bean has caused an unlikely war between Zimbabwe, Pakistan
and T twenty world cover.

Speaker 3 (00:41):
WHOA, I don't even know where to go with this.

Speaker 4 (00:45):
A lot of words.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
Yeah, that's a lot of words. Indeed, all right, well
we'll try to sort this all out. I actually have
no wordplay on this one. Let's just get into a
whacky new episode of Bananas.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Still well understand, would you.

Speaker 3 (01:08):
My resillion pieces?

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Would you?

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Ba guys, guys a non binary pals, Welcome to Bananas,
Happy Thanksgiving.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
That of cross for me is Scottie Landers.

Speaker 3 (01:31):
And that is my banana law. Mister tonight show himself
Kurt Brown Owler, how are you doing, buddy, I'm good.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
Hey you doing.

Speaker 3 (01:39):
How was it with old Jim Fallon? Was he happy
to see you?

Speaker 1 (01:42):
It was very nice to see him.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
I told him that the first time I did the show,
he had told me that I was gonna get bumped
for a magician.

Speaker 3 (01:49):
Like.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
He walked right in and I immediately I was so nervous.
I was like, Okay, of course, of course, Well it
was fun to be here.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
And so he laughed about Patty. He's like, that's great.
I'm happy I did that. But yeah, he was very
nice and it was very fun. But you know what,
I think we better do.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
What should we do?

Speaker 1 (02:05):
We better get right into this sweet guess we have.

Speaker 3 (02:08):
Yeah, I'd love to hear about her.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
Guys, she needs no introduction.

Speaker 3 (02:15):
Truth.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Everybody knows who she is.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
She is, of course, one of the co hosts of
My Favorite Murder and Our friend. Please welcome Georgia hertstar.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
Hi.

Speaker 4 (02:29):
Hi, Hi, it's me Hi.

Speaker 3 (02:31):
The first the first quatro because you did our Halloween
show and then you've done two. You did Bananas by Yourself.
You did Bananas by Yourself again, and you and Karen
did an app. You're our first quatro guest.

Speaker 5 (02:42):
Oh my god, I'm honored.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
That's a big time. Any sandwich you wanted, Jersey Mike's
kurt and I'll buy you a twelve inch any size
large soul.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
You just give us a number that exists at Jersey Mikes.
It comes to your house, Okay, I already know.

Speaker 5 (03:00):
Oh my god, I'm so excited about that. Thank you
so much, very hand to be here.

Speaker 4 (03:04):
Also to be here.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
You know, I did get a text from Jersey Mikes today.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
I get texts from Jersey Mikes just so you know smart.
Jersey Mike's texts me more than a bunch of my friends.
And today they do give some of their proceeds to
a veterans a fund.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
So how nice is that?

Speaker 2 (03:21):
How nice is Veterans Day? I mean it's Thanksgiving week?
Sorry guys, whoopsie doodles.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
That's true. Georgia, how are you. How's your week? Have
you relaxed? Have you been busy?

Speaker 4 (03:32):
I'm good.

Speaker 5 (03:33):
My week's been good. I just discovered and ate the
most fall dessert from and it's the middle of the day,
by the way, from Trader Joe's. So I'm really happy
right now. Okay, have you had their hand pie. It's new.
It's pumpkin and apple hand pies and.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
Hand pie is just a small pie that you yeah, okay,
like driving pie.

Speaker 5 (03:58):
It's a lot like the McDonald's out well pie.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Oh it's shaped like a bar.

Speaker 5 (04:03):
Yeah. Oh my god. I like bought it as it
called put in the air fryer, and I have some
ice cream with it. I ended up eating it piece
by piece with my fingers out out of the box
because it was one of those things like, well, one
more bite, I'll just have one more bite. I'll have
one and then I ate it all it was. It
was so good and a tumnal. Since we're talking about Thanksgiving.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
Yeah, you know, talking Turkey with Georgia hart Stark.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
There it is. That's what we're naming it the Doubless name.

Speaker 3 (04:34):
You want some Thanksgiving facts for I was thinking our
international listeners Canadians, they have a Thanksgiving of their own.
But yeah, for the people around the world, I think
that many international ban animals probably at least know generally
what Thanksgiving is. But I looked up some Thanksgiving facts. Okay, great,
this is from bestlife dot com. Nothing says best Life

(04:55):
like Thanksgiving fact facts. There were thirty five facts. I
brought it down to the four, the R five that
interested me. Okay, first, right off the bat, Americans eat
seven hundred and four million pounds of turkey every Thanksgiving. No,
that's too many, so many.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
That's so disgusting, it's.

Speaker 3 (05:20):
So gross, so upsetting.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
But remember, one gets pardoned out out of the tens
of millions that we're eating.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
One gets to live on a farm.

Speaker 3 (05:31):
All right, here's one. I'm gonna give you a little trivia.
So what city do you think is the most traveled
to city on Thanksgiving in the United States?

Speaker 1 (05:41):
Oh, the most city? I think it's New York City.

Speaker 5 (05:44):
Okay, say, oh right, I'm going to go Chicago.

Speaker 3 (05:49):
Two excellent guesses, both incorrect. Sadly, more people travel to Orlando,
Florida than anywhere else Thanksgiving.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
That makes sense.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
Triple A estimates over fifty five million Americans travel over
fifty miles and more every Thanksgiving, but the most popular destination,
according to Booking Information, is Orlando, Florida, closely followed by Anaheim, California,
and then New York City.

Speaker 5 (06:15):
Oh that you charted on that list.

Speaker 1 (06:19):
Thank you so much, Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
Also, I love it that Triple A like Triple A.
There's people who work at Triple A. That means who
are just gathering interesting travel statistics.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
At all times and publishing them like the Triple A magazine.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
I love they know a lot about tow truck numbers.

Speaker 3 (06:40):
Yes, here's a fun one for the whole family. More
than four fifths of Americans prefer the leftovers to the
actual meal.

Speaker 5 (06:47):
Yeah, what I could see that four fifths. My husband's
one of them. It's like you can't. It's it's like
an extra person when you're counting how many how much
turkey you need? Like the leftovers, it is an extra
person on that list.

Speaker 3 (07:02):
Also, I think a lot of people sometimes don't enjoy
the company they have on Thanksgiving, but they do love
that food the next day microwave sitting on a blanket,
just eating a little turkey sandwich to yourself.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
Here's my question.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
Have you ever ever, ever in your whole life had
a hot plate at Thanksgiving, like where all the food
is hot. Never it's usually one thing is scald to
get everything else's ice cold because you're just waiting for
that one thing to come out.

Speaker 3 (07:32):
That's right, Red wine. Red wine is the most popular
Thanksgiving tipple, isn't it, which I would not have guessed. Actually,
I don't know why red wine. I mean that's fun.
Maybe I'm gonna drink red wine this year for the
first time at Thanksgiving for.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
The first time. You've never drank red wine at Thanksgiving?

Speaker 3 (07:54):
Not at the dinner, no, I mean if had red
wine in life. No, I think I drink whiskey at
Thanksgiving the meal.

Speaker 5 (08:00):
I think after the meal, whiskey, yeah, heads, But beforehand
and during I think red wine.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
She should try it, Yeah, because you need whiskey afterwards,
because it burrows.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
It burrows through the food.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
We all know how alcohol works, Yeah, at burrows.

Speaker 4 (08:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
In my family, I think it was a German thing.
We would all sip peppermint schnops after dinner, very very delicious,
very nice.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
And Dad would blow a one fifty one rumplements fire
with his mouth.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
It was such a nice tradition.

Speaker 3 (08:32):
Yeah, here comes Christmas, old Grandpa.

Speaker 5 (08:35):
Would you Oh that's cute?

Speaker 1 (08:38):
Okay? Can I tell you a story that that reminds
me of?

Speaker 2 (08:41):
Okay, So I just did fallon yet like two days
a couple of days ago. But then the last time
I did it was seven years ago almost to the day,
which is crazy. And we got out to dinner in
Korea Town and then we went to a Korean like
bar that also had karaoke, and then they found out

(09:01):
that I was about to be on Fallon, So then
the bartender got very excited and made this insane like
tower of shots that like went that was maybe like
four or five feet tall on the bar. All of
it was different cut, like he put skittles in each drink.
It was the worst hangover I had the next day

(09:23):
of my entire life, I bet. But then he like
lit one of those sparklers that like shoots, do you know,
like those shooting sparklers. Yeah, hoard one fifty one all
over it. Then took a shot of one fifty one
and then blew fire wow over the whole thing. And
I was standing on the other side, and there's a
video of it. I was very drunk, so fire comes

(09:44):
at me and then I'm just laughing and I just
go for some reason, I'm very wet. All of the
rupplements from his mouth that didn't burn off just bleue
all over.

Speaker 5 (09:59):
Oh okay, yes, it was pre COVID.

Speaker 4 (10:03):
So pre covid. You can't do that these days.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
Oh no, that and that was terrible. That was such
a bad hangover the next day.

Speaker 3 (10:09):
That's drrible, But I got a story out of it. Last,
but not least, last Hot Talking Turkey Thanksgiving fact. This
one's a little silly, guys. I'm gonna I'm gonna be honest,
a little silly.

Speaker 4 (10:22):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (10:23):
The day after Thanksgiving is the busiest day of the
year for plumbers. Ah No, toilet talk, toilet talk. Black
Friday isn't just big business for real tailers. Plumbers and
drain cleaners get into action or get into the action too.
According to Roto Router, the day after Thanksgiving is the
busiest day of the year for those who want to

(10:45):
keep the toilets flushing and the water flowing in their homes.
And then, in related news, something I never thought about.
They recommend not pouring cooking oil down your drain.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
Yes, oh yeah, yeah, it just it just accumulates.

Speaker 3 (10:59):
Just don't do it.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
But like they're supposed to put like bacon Greece into a.

Speaker 5 (11:04):
Yeah yeah, Hot Tips, Hot Tips, everybody.

Speaker 3 (11:10):
It's an educational podcast. It really is, It really is.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
Do you guys want to hear about fake mister Bean. Yes,
let's trying to decipher what this was about.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
It is a fascinating story. Found this one on my own.

Speaker 1 (11:22):
This was.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
This is published in News eighteen where the number eight
is wearing a mask, so.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
You know it's got to be good.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
Do you know that that number eight is not getting COVID?

Speaker 3 (11:37):
That's all right?

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Here is the title again, Fake mister Bean has caused
an unlikely war between Zimbabwe and Pakistan in T twenty
World Cup.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
This was by written by Buzz Staff. Wody wants to
be associated with this.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
They're good and it's edited by Anu rag Verma. So
aw rag Verma, you're the best in the biz when
it comes to editing the weirdest.

Speaker 1 (12:02):
Stories on the planet.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
Here it is Pakistan's dramatic loss to our tribals, Indian
their T twenty World Cup to twenty twenty two opener
may have rocked their ship, but an entire tsunami waits
when they meet with Zimbabwe on Thursday in Perth. I'm
sure the contest may not witness as many footfalls as
the India Pakistan match did, but there's already a rivalry
brewing between Pakistan and Zimbabwe fans on the micro bloging

(12:28):
site Twitter. In case you don't know what Twitter is,
the reason fake mister Bean. It all began when Pakistan
Cricket's official Twitter Cricket Yes Yes Crickety shared photos of
the players toiling hard ahead of the Zimbabwe clash. On
to the next challenge, the Pakistan's Cricket wrote, and then

(12:48):
someone responded. Then there was a disgruntled Twitter user seemingly
from Zimbabwe responded to the tweet, saying that they have
neither forgotten nor forgiven Pakistan for sending a quote fake
miss Bean to Zimbabwe. And this was the tweet. This
was a tweet that this guy sent. It started all this, okay,
as Zimbabwian's we won't forgive you once gave us that

(13:09):
fraud bean instead of mister Bean Rowan. We will settle
the matter tomorrow, okay. Then and then someone was like
what are.

Speaker 1 (13:18):
You talking about?

Speaker 3 (13:20):
Yes? Me, And then.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
And then he starts sending photos and posting photos. This
guy Nagoogi Chasura. And so, in case you're wondering here
it is fraud or not, A man named Asif Mohammed
from Pakistan did travel to Zimbabwe. In twenty sixteen, as
reported here and here, the Pakistani man bears a similarity

(13:47):
to the original Mister Bean character played by British acting
legend Roan Atkinson, and was reportedly invited to attend a
comedy night, do road shows and be part of the
Harari Agricultural show. Right amid this fear asco the photos
and videos of the quote fraud mister Bean on his
Zimbabwe trimp has since gone viral. He had okay, so
they had he had a police escort. No, like the

(14:10):
whole country was like mister Bean came to visit and
like he had a police escort.

Speaker 3 (14:14):
He amazing.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
He does look he just he does look like mister Bean.
Ok he does look like a Pakistani Mister Bean.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
And mister Bean is seen facilitated by cops as fans
block the road to get a glimpse of him.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
It also breaks into mister Bean dance moves for the
gathered crowd who's going all out and going by the
video appears at the crowd feel they got the real deal,
but we may never know he is. It's really there's
photos he's taking photos with people and he's like he
does a really good like mister Bean face.

Speaker 1 (14:52):
It is so crazy. So yeah, so there is.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
People are furious now about this thing that happened in
twenty sixteen.

Speaker 5 (14:58):
I love you don't understand how mister Bean still has
so much traction, Like I love mister Bean. Be wrong,
but it's been decades.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
Yeah, decades a long time. Maybe way mister Bean's kind
of on the up rock, you know.

Speaker 4 (15:12):
Yeah, yeah, that could be it.

Speaker 3 (15:14):
But also great choice him, Yeah, exactly. They don't know,
and he's a non speaking character. Mister Bean occasionally says
bean when people ask him his name or whatever. It
take his ticket. But it's a great person doing personally
or impostered in personally because he doesn't have to talk.

Speaker 5 (15:31):
Yeah, that's a good point. It's really amazing, and they're
mad about it, but it sounds like they got what
they wanted out of him. So maybe you know.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
Is a fake a fake Mister Bean by any other
name just smells like mister Bean.

Speaker 3 (15:45):
It just smells like mister.

Speaker 5 (15:48):
It's a quandary for the ages.

Speaker 3 (15:50):
He's the best. It used to be on PBS, used
to when before I had cable, mister Bean would come
on like MPT, which was Maryland Public Television and I
would just watch it having no context, just a boy
sitting on the floor, just watching a British man cutting
his pants to fit him in luggage or mailing himself
Christmas letters and then being surprised. And I was like,
and getting a turkey stuck on his head.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
Oh yeah it is.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
It is interesting how funny it actually is to appeal
to like a five year old and all to all ages.
It is actually surprisingly kind of funny.

Speaker 5 (16:26):
I wonder if kids these days have caught on yet,
or if it's like a cool vintage thing to watch
now or that hasn't happened yet.

Speaker 3 (16:34):
Yeah, I could come back through gen Z.

Speaker 5 (16:38):
Let us know, I let my I'll get.

Speaker 1 (16:40):
My kids started on mister Britt. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (16:42):
I think they'll like him. We have a for all
of us share the friend Albertina Rizzo didn't she hire
like a Jack Nicholson impersonator to join a bachelorette party
once and everybody except her was pissed about it.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
I don't know, but I was at a party that
Albertina was at, but she didn't hire this person. It
was a Oh it was an Elvis impersonator who showed
up at the party and then the host. The host
had hired him, Yes, she pretended like she didn't, and
she was like, what the fuck is this and she
was like acting like she was bad about it. Yes,

(17:20):
And then I was like, I was like, this is Alex.
This is crazy. Who hired Elvis impersonator to come to
your house? And she's like, I did. I didn't, but
don't ah.

Speaker 3 (17:31):
I had that at a party once where a bunch
of people took shrooms and then one of my friends
was just having a moment and sat there silently for
four or five hours, and another friend the next day
was like, it's so fun. You hired that actor just
to sit there silently for the whole party. And I'm like, oh,
he's like the guy on the end of the sofa.
I was like, oh no, no, that's my buddy, Like

(17:51):
I know that guy, but he was just in his
own mind, having his own experience while the party rotated
around him. And then our friend Rob thought I hired
like extra to sit there silently there, Like.

Speaker 4 (18:02):
Oh, I love it.

Speaker 5 (18:03):
What a career move that would be If you're like, hey,
I hire me to sit quietly at a party awkwardly.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
What a great idea?

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, I remember Eugene Merman at the Eugene Murman Comedy
Festival once had a bus that you could go on
and it was just like a scary clown sitting in
the back. You could just like go on the bus
and sit with the clown who would have talked or
just sat there.

Speaker 3 (18:26):
That's so good, that's so awesome, mister Bean. I mean,
I would like to see mister Bean hang. Like if
somebody that looked a lot like mister Bean walked by,
I would light up. I would like wave and be like, hey,
mister Bean, like he's almost mascot level.

Speaker 4 (18:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:42):
I agreed, And that's why, that's why I go back
to my eternal saying, a mister Bean by an air
of the name smells just like the real mister Bean.
And I would I think a mister Bean impersonator is
as good as.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
Meeting Rowan Atkinson. Yeah, and I stand by that.

Speaker 4 (18:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (18:59):
Would you rather meet mister Bean a mister Bean impersonator
or Rowan Atkinson as himself not as mister Bean.

Speaker 3 (19:07):
No, that's the question.

Speaker 5 (19:09):
Do you want to meet the actor? Do you want
to meet the character?

Speaker 1 (19:12):
I want to meet the Karendar, right, I think that's
I think.

Speaker 3 (19:15):
So, Yeah, me too. All right, it's decided. Oh I
have one for you too. Dan Fink sent this in
and then when I said this is a great one,
he said, am I going to be on the pod?
And I said, yes, you are, You're going to make it,
and he was very thrilled. God, this is such a

(19:36):
good one. Woman stopped at airport while wearing butt plug
containing boyfriend's ashes.

Speaker 1 (19:42):
Whoa this? Of course you're going to be on the podcast?

Speaker 3 (19:48):
Are you joking?

Speaker 1 (19:49):
This is one of the best stories we've ever gotten.

Speaker 4 (19:52):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
And I asked you, I asked you at the top,
do you have a good headline to start with?

Speaker 1 (19:58):
And you're like, not real, you have the best headline
we've ever done.

Speaker 3 (20:03):
I'm a wild card man. Yeah. A woman stopped at
airport while wearing butt plug containing boyfriend's ashes. This was
written by the absolute best in the butt plug biz,
Josh Milton for Metro UK. Oh boy, and it keeps
it is what you hope. It is, like, we get
so many headlines on this podcast that you know the

(20:25):
headline's better than the story. Yeah, this one lives up
to it.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
I hope it's all of his ashes, that's all of
us Oh, that's a lot. That's a lot of ass.

Speaker 4 (20:35):
That's a lot of butt plug.

Speaker 1 (20:36):
That's four pounds of butt plug.

Speaker 3 (20:40):
A woman was stopped by airport security because she was
carrying her boyfriend's ashes in a sex toy that was
described as his favorite place. Sarah Button, Sarah Button already
off to a great start.

Speaker 5 (20:53):
Oh that's a name.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
Wow in the butt of Sarah Button plugged up.

Speaker 3 (20:59):
Old Sarah Button, twenty three years old has gone viral
and TikTok for wearing a metal butt plug with forever
engraved on it through an airport in Australia.

Speaker 5 (21:08):
Wow, oh my god, is so good.

Speaker 3 (21:14):
Here we go while going through customs. The law student
wore the toy as a way of traveling with her
late partner as she hoped to show him the world.

Speaker 4 (21:25):
Oh this is layered, This is layered.

Speaker 3 (21:29):
Are we sad? Are we happy? Are we crying? Button
from Australia was bought the toy as a gag gift
from her boyfriend, which raised a fair few eyebrows from
the airport staff. Sarah told need to Know dut online
sounds like a totally legit website. You should talk about

(21:49):
sex stuff too. We were initially concerned about getting it
through in my carry on, so I just left it
in with hopes to avoid explanations.

Speaker 4 (21:57):
Yep, that'll always work.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
That'll always especially the metal ones.

Speaker 5 (22:02):
You know how how that works when you go through.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
Yeah, absolutely, when you're continuously beeps and you go I
don't know nothing, I Don'm not wearing anything.

Speaker 3 (22:11):
I don't know, I don't know. It was a bit
nerve wracking, but I had previously gone through security with
a normal butt plug in without incidents, so I had
a sense of calm and faith that we'd both make
it through. She's talking about him as.

Speaker 2 (22:25):
A sassy Australian lady who travels with a butt plug
in at all times, because.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
That's a lot of sitting. That's a lot of sitting
on an airplane.

Speaker 3 (22:33):
It definitely takes your mind off the fear of the
plane crashing.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
I know.

Speaker 3 (22:36):
Sure, Sure it centers you in a way. Yeah, it
grounds you in a way. Boy. I would have packed
him and check luggage if I were to take the
urn overseas with me, but I didn't think it would
make the center beep or anything, and the friend I
was with was unaware of this so well as well.

(22:57):
Excuse me was aware of this as well, so this
is nice. The plug was gifted to me before the
passing of an ex boyfriend I had as a teenager.
The intention was initially a joke because he'd spent so
much time in there and it was his favorite place.

Speaker 5 (23:11):
Oh my god, why are you telling news people about this?
That's my question? Was like, Okay, do your thing. No
kink shaming here at.

Speaker 3 (23:20):
All, not at all?

Speaker 1 (23:21):
Is need to know dot com really news?

Speaker 4 (23:25):
And do we need to know that?

Speaker 3 (23:27):
That's a good question.

Speaker 5 (23:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (23:29):
Way? How much he did.

Speaker 4 (23:31):
It for this podcast? Yes? Ummmm?

Speaker 3 (23:35):
So on. She uploaded this TikTok video in September ninth,
seeing if the butt plug emoji I was wearing with
his ashes in it will get through airport security, adding
he's still here. It's romantic. She captioned the video, seen
by more than five million people.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (23:51):
Yeah, so she was really really going for it.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
So she took a video of the butt plug before
she put it in her butt with the ashes in it.

Speaker 3 (23:58):
Or I think so. I think that's right. I think
she I a whole thing, like I'm traveling with my
former partner.

Speaker 1 (24:04):
I love this. She's fine, me too.

Speaker 3 (24:07):
She is fun banana the weeks for sure, of the
week for sure, Yeah, for sure. Sarah didn't have too
much luck when she visited Abu Dhabi Airport in the
United Arab Emirates in twenty nineteen. Only tend a banned
from the golf. She says, Wow, I explained what it was,
but there was a lady worker with an earshot of

(24:29):
that conversation, which led to some back and forth between
us and the male officials. Did not like the vulgarity
I was using to explain myself. She said, no, no,
they don't.

Speaker 5 (24:38):
They don't like that over there.

Speaker 3 (24:40):
They took me and my friend aside without much explanation.
I bet they did. Sarah claimed her passport and mobile
phone were taken away, forcing her to call her dad
to ring the Australian embassy and Abu Dhabi for help.
An hour later, a big official came in and had
a sign a super long foreign document that said if
we were outside of the airport doors, we'd go to jail.

(25:00):
It was a long day. Wow wow, She says. The
moral of the story is I was very ignorant of
what I had in my bag and the words I used,
and their values. I didn't realize explaining a butt plug
would like violate the person that asked about it, So
just explaining it was enough to violate some rules over there.
Also do some research, guys. When you go to a foreign.

Speaker 2 (25:22):
Country, sure google it so that she was going Toboo Dobby.

Speaker 4 (25:31):
Like anywhere.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
Take your butt plug out before you travel to the
Middle East in general, that's.

Speaker 5 (25:36):
Absolutely especially if it's metal.

Speaker 4 (25:39):
Take your metal but butt plug out.

Speaker 3 (25:42):
Especially if it's metal full of a dead person's ashes.
Take it out.

Speaker 4 (25:47):
Sure.

Speaker 3 (25:48):
Maybe he doesn't need to go on this trip with you.
Maybe he catches up with you in Fiji or something
fun like that.

Speaker 5 (25:56):
Y'all see y'all see each other in New Zealand.

Speaker 3 (25:58):
You know, yes, yeah, I don't good on Abby Dabby
or maybe not North or South Dakota everywhere else in
the world. You're probably fine.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
You use your plastic or rubber butt plugs.

Speaker 3 (26:08):
Oh sure, yeah, it's just just planning it. It's like
looking about let's yeah. Sarah has since traveled to places
she and her ex boyfriend only ever dreamed of going,
such as the Great Barrier Reef and are set to
see the British rock band Bring Me.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
Through This gotcha. This really surprised.

Speaker 3 (26:28):
Oh god, that are set to see the British rock
band Bring Me the Horizon in December. So oh, she's
just taken one for the team. It's just such a
hilarious Oh God, I'm crying.

Speaker 4 (26:43):
Taking him to see the world.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
It's so nice. It's so romantic.

Speaker 5 (26:47):
It is romantic.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
It is.

Speaker 3 (26:49):
That just tickled me because I'm just imagining the muffled sounds.

Speaker 1 (26:53):
The experience in her butt door the concert.

Speaker 3 (27:00):
To tell what's happening, sumping Baseeah.

Speaker 5 (27:03):
God, god, favorite band.

Speaker 3 (27:07):
It's beautiful in a way. It's it's a flat Stanley.
It's a flat Stanley for your butt. It's very nice. Yeah,
my god. I don't know if I ever tell this story, Kirk,
but I years ago a woman reached out to me,
a mutual friend, really an acquaintance, and said, hey, I'm
writing a book where I'm dating a different guy for
a month every year. I'm going to write a twelve

(27:30):
chapter book about dating twelve different guys for four weeks.
Would you like to be when I said, yeah, So
we dated for a month. It was really fun, fun.

Speaker 5 (27:37):
I love that idea.

Speaker 3 (27:38):
Yeah, I don't think the book ever actually got published,
but it was fun and I actually really enjoyed it
was kind of interesting.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
Having like a second time period.

Speaker 3 (27:46):
Yeah, like Georgia should ever date anybody from like summer
camp or like over thing where it's like, hey, we
have two weeks to blow this thing out.

Speaker 5 (27:55):
I mean as an adult, I was like, this has
an expiration date on it. I can tell already, but
let's have some fun.

Speaker 3 (28:00):
Yeah, of course those are great sometimes really passionate fun.
You know that the steaks are lowered such love stakes.
So years go by and randomy she reached out and
she wanted to work creatively. And you know in this
like in LA, especially in TV and movies and stuff
like you keep friendships and relationships and also working stuff.
You kind of try to be professional, maybe more than

(28:22):
people and other industries would be. So I meet her
for coffee. This was last year, and she's showing me
a new house that she bought, and she's like here
and she like hands me her phone to like scroll
through pictures of her new house. And while that's happening,
the Apple drop down screen says that her anal beads

(28:44):
had been delivered. No, and like just a little twinkle
in my eye like, and I had that moment where
I was it's like a very adult moment where you
go like who am I and who do I want
to be in this situation for this person? And she's
like what And I was like this bathroom is so
beautiful and she's like I know. And I just did

(29:06):
mention it and just handed the phone back and sat there.
But it kind of in this really fun way, and
I never mentioned it, so it went unmentioned. Good for you, Well, yeah,
who cares. It's like live how you want to live,
do what you want to do. And it was a
total timing accident where you're like, oh, of all the moments. Yeah,
but it was funny because like she clocked like the
eyebrow raise, and then I just did all the math

(29:27):
in my head and I'm like, just don't mention it.
Just just roll through this. You probably won't see this
person for another six or seven years. But I bet
she's enjoying that new house.

Speaker 5 (29:38):
I know she is, but she's having some fun there.

Speaker 3 (29:41):
Yeah, it was so funny. But it just was like
a professional adult moment to be like, yeah, I'm not
gonna say shit, this is fine, enjoy yourself, live for you.

Speaker 5 (29:48):
Like twenty twenty three year old Scotty would have said
something you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (29:51):
Like, yeah, your keychain arrived, Yeah, you're keyching.

Speaker 3 (30:00):
It was beautiful, beautiful moment.

Speaker 1 (30:03):
Let's tease us into a break here.

Speaker 3 (30:04):
All right, please do.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
I just got a little story here. It doesn't have
a headline. It is just from the police blodder and
I will just say it's about why you shouldn't buy
an owl at a gas station.

Speaker 3 (30:20):
I disagree. We'll be back to give a hoot on bananas.

Speaker 2 (30:27):
Man, folks, We are back, Banana Scottie.

Speaker 1 (30:58):
You got any shout outs for us today?

Speaker 3 (31:00):
Just two in house ones, all ban animals. We have
a Banana's newsletter that our full human, real intern, Lisa
Maggot runs for us. Just shoot us an email. We
will send you. We'll connect you with Lisa, and we
just send out like our live shows. When our merch
is going to drop all the banana stuff, and we're
not gonna send you stuff weekly, it's going to be

(31:21):
like monthly at most. But we just for the true
bananimals out there, we wanted to give you a little
more information to have.

Speaker 2 (31:28):
And you merch coming soon, so this will be like
a great way to be alerted as soon as it
goes out.

Speaker 3 (31:35):
Correct, Amundo and Katie Levine, our wonderful producer and engineer
who makes our lives incredibly easy. I wanted us to
mention that the shelters, especially in the LA area, are
still very full with lovable cats and dogs that you
can adopt. They'll make your life so much better. You
can check out all the available animals at Laanimalservice dot com.

(31:57):
And if you've been thinking about adopting you're not one hundred.
There's a great new fostering group called Foster for Life LA.
You can follow them on Instagram at Foster for Life La.
Maybe foster maybe, give it a feel, give it a
test run, and give an animal you know, a great time,
take it on a little vacation in your home.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
And uh and of course you know that does remind
me well. And of course we are here with the
absolutely fantastic and wonderful Georgia Hardstar. Yeah, speaking of fostering,
I we had I don't know if you and I
Scotty talked about this, but I had an idea for
a business a long time ago, which would be a

(32:38):
I'd be like rent to pet, Yes, so you get
like a dog for a day or a cat for
a day. But the idea behind it was that, like
you order the pet and then like you pick a
time for when the pet comes over, and then you
just hear a knock on the door, and then when
you open the door, only the animal is there, like
the person like hides, so that it just seems like

(32:59):
the dog came to visit you, and then you let
the dog in, and then when you're done at the
specific time, you just open the door and he walks out.
Of course there's someone there to like put them and
take them safely on to the next thing, But wouldn't
that be great.

Speaker 5 (33:11):
And then no human interaction necessary whatsoever?

Speaker 2 (33:14):
Right, it just feels like a cat or a dog
came over to hang out with you for like six hours.

Speaker 5 (33:19):
I love it, right, Yes, everyone needs that in their lives,
like six hours a week or so of a cat
or dog.

Speaker 3 (33:27):
I love them. They just make you happy. They just
make you happy before workaholics, I know. I think it
was Adam and Blake were on a reality pilot and
the general premise was three different couples like one dating couple,
one bet, two best friends. So I think it was

(33:47):
like Blake and Adam and then two other people spend
a day with a dog, and then at the end
of the episode, all three of them stand in a
field and they let the dog go, and whoever the
dog runs to gets to keep the dog. I was like,
that is a I cannot believe that didn't become a show.
But it was like called My Best Friend Forever or
something like that, And I think that's the funniest idea

(34:08):
for a reality show.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
That's such a funny idea.

Speaker 5 (34:11):
I'm dying to see if Cookie would pick us in
a field, if my dog, if our dog would run
to us or run to like complete strangers that had
like bake bacon in their pockets or something like that.

Speaker 2 (34:22):
Right, yeah, yeah, but that's how you can always game it.

Speaker 1 (34:26):
Always have bacon in your pocket.

Speaker 3 (34:28):
Cookie, like at your house, like at a gathering, Cookie
does her own thing. Cookie just wanders.

Speaker 4 (34:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (34:36):
I'd really worried she'd like later and like try to
leave the house or something, But she was fine. She
was just like yea, doing her thing.

Speaker 3 (34:42):
We're all like Cookie, come here, come here, just like
give her a scratch on the edge, Like nah, just
cruises on by, walks by walks wrong.

Speaker 4 (34:49):
Cookie.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
I hope you're able to get the bean bags out
my kids.

Speaker 1 (34:56):
I can't.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
My young is just stared at me with a bean
bag and then you're through it in the pool.

Speaker 5 (35:02):
That kids, my nephews like the way they stare at
you when you tell them not to do something and
they do it.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
It's just insane.

Speaker 2 (35:10):
It's just like, yeah, this is a rule. What happens
when it's it's all testing. It's all testing.

Speaker 5 (35:16):
No, the beanbags were fine, the pool was fine. Kids
are adorable.

Speaker 2 (35:21):
All right, here we get to this. This one's I'm
very excited to share this one with you. This was
sent in by Luke Kresser today.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
It is Luke.

Speaker 2 (35:30):
This was sent to him by his mom who she
saw it on Facebook.

Speaker 1 (35:35):
This is from the Pace and Police Department.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
The Pace and Police Department would like to her mind
to public wildlife should remain wild. It's a legal to obsessed, transport, buy,
or sell wildlife unless expressive permitted by Arizona Revised Statutes.
Early this morning, officers conducted a traffic stop and upon
approaching the vehicle, discovered a young owl next to the driver.
The investigation revealed that the owl had just been purchased

(35:59):
by the driver at a local gas station. The driver
purchased the owl from a motorist who found it along
the roadway. The Pace And Police Department would like to
take this opportunity to encourage the public not to use
methamphetamines or you find yourself illegally purchasing a wild owl
for one hundred dollars in the middle of the night

(36:20):
from strangers at a local gas station.

Speaker 3 (36:22):
My god.

Speaker 2 (36:23):
The driver was arrested on numerous charges, including aggravated dy
possession of methamphetamine, and possession transport purchase of wildlife.

Speaker 5 (36:33):
Wow, try to laugh so lout at methamphetamine use.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
But it was like they hit whoever wrote that, Like
they really did, Like they buried the lead and it.

Speaker 3 (36:43):
Gotta laugh out of me. Yeah, I love it. Did
you guys have to dissect owl shit in high school?

Speaker 4 (36:49):
No?

Speaker 3 (36:50):
Oh, we did in a in a biology class. You'd
get an owl turd that you would dissect and the
amount of bones in it, mice bone's, birdbone, all that.
It was so fascinating, but some of it didn't have
anything in it, So then you're just a teenager digging
through shit.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
Is there a company that collects owl shitting sense it?

Speaker 5 (37:14):
Yeah, Maryland is Marylyn rife with owls.

Speaker 3 (37:18):
We do have a good amount of owls there.

Speaker 2 (37:20):
Yeah, yours your teacher just hunting owl shit.

Speaker 5 (37:24):
Yeah, I'm from suburbia. So we did not have a
single owl any anywhere near we. We totally extincted those.

Speaker 3 (37:32):
Things, poor guys.

Speaker 5 (37:34):
Yeah, there's no there's no owls in Irvine in Orange County.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
That sounds like a good like a good title for
a punk album. It does, there's no owls in Irvine
two three four.

Speaker 3 (37:47):
Yeah, it was a good one. I don't know. We
dissected a lot of stuff. I mean, we did frogs,
we did. It was like we're earthworms class COWI that
was always one that people would faint. Yeah, it was.

Speaker 5 (37:58):
I can't do I can't handle that.

Speaker 3 (38:00):
It seems a bit extreme. Looking back, it seems like
did anybody go into sert? Was anybody a surgeon in
any of those things?

Speaker 5 (38:07):
Did you earn anything? No, just how to handle yourself
around gross stuff, which is a good thing to learn.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
I guess, so if you're going to be a do
gross things.

Speaker 3 (38:17):
If anything, it led me to bananas, now that I'm
saying it out loud, it made me the banana boy
i'm today. But yeah, there were tons of bones. It
was very fascinating. But yeah, who was walking around the woods?
Maybe meth heads, you never know.

Speaker 2 (38:34):
Actually, yeah, I remember one speaking of like buying an
owl at late at night.

Speaker 1 (38:40):
I mean, I remember I was in Baltimore.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
I was probably nineteen or twenty years old, and my
friend Chris and I just he was visiting, and so
we're just like we had nothing to do. We're drunk,
and I decided to put on a dress like one
of my girlfriend's dresses.

Speaker 1 (38:57):
That happened.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
I don't know how it fit me, yeah, and I
then I and I just had like underwear and address on.

Speaker 1 (39:03):
And then we started walking in Baltimore like four in the.

Speaker 2 (39:05):
Morning, Yeah, for like hours in like downtown Baltimore. And
we tried to go into a club, but the club
would like I didn't have I had no money, and
I didn't have ID, I didn't have anything on. All
I had was a pint of Jim Beam tucked into
my underwear, like the waistban of my underwear. And we

(39:26):
were like walking like sharing this pint of gym beam.
And then I remember we're just like Okay, so we
walked all the way down. It was like right next
to Club Charles, there used to be a like a
a a bar, like a bar club there that was
open late night.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
So we're like okay.

Speaker 2 (39:39):
So we then we turn around to walk back, and
I remember this guy like classic Baltimore, classic Baltimore like
set up.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
Like there's just all these like long stories.

Speaker 2 (39:50):
If someone's gonna ask you for money, there's gonna be
like a eight or seven minute story of in front
of it that has a lot of complications.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
Math is usually involved.

Speaker 2 (39:59):
Always there's always just like there's like I have a
bunch of and it's always very creative. It's always like
I have a bunch of vacuums that I'm going to
sell there in the truck of my car. My key, however,
is over in Belmont, so I need I need twenty
dollars to be able to get to Bellmont. So I
get this key so I can get sell my vacuum cleaners.

Speaker 5 (40:15):
And then like it's a reasonable request, like I'm not
just asking for money for the hell of it.

Speaker 2 (40:21):
Right right here, here's what it is, all right, And
so this guy starts giving us a long story, and
I was just like, I have no pockets, man, I
have no money. We just couldn't go into there because
I don't have a pocket or wallet or ID all it.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
I have nothing.

Speaker 2 (40:34):
And then he's like, okay, well I'm going to teach
you guys kung fu before you leave.

Speaker 1 (40:38):
And we're just like, oh my god. Where It's like,
we don't we don't want to learn kung fu.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
And then he proceeds to force us to do like
kung fu exercises or what I'm assuming he thinks kung
fu exercises are setting us and like and then like
setting us and putting our arms up and then showing
us doing it punches, and then we have to sit
there and we're like kind of worried because he's deaf,
like not in his right mind. We do the punches

(41:02):
with him for a little while, and then we're like
we gotta go, we gotta go, and he's like, listen,
let me just give you my ID before you go,
and we're just like, no.

Speaker 1 (41:09):
I don't want your ID.

Speaker 2 (41:11):
And he's like he's like no, no, no, you have
to take it. And I was like, I have no money.
I can't give you money for your and now so
I don't want to purchase your ID. We don't have
any money, and he's just like, listen, I just want
you to have this, and he puts it in my
hand and he folds my hand around it, and he's
just like you take it, you take it, and I'm
just like, I'm not going to take this. Please take
it back, Please take it back. And he refused to

(41:31):
take it back, so that we left with this guy's
driver's license.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
What I guess. And then because he wouldn't take it back.

Speaker 2 (41:39):
So I had this guy's driver's license, and I woke
up in the morning and I was like, what.

Speaker 1 (41:44):
Do we what do we do with this person's driver's license?
So we had to We walked back and just kind
of like put it.

Speaker 2 (41:50):
He was on a stoop and we just put it
on the stoop that we were on smart and like
then just left it there. But like I've never it's
such a classic Baltimore experience that.

Speaker 5 (42:01):
That is a wild one. I don't have a story
like that from Los Angeles for sure.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
Los Angeles is more direct. For some reason, it was
always like we'll take you on a journey. In Baltimore.

Speaker 3 (42:12):
Yeah, I can remember the first time I went to
They built an ESPN zone in the Inner Harbor in Baltimore,
and it was like all ages up until oh you
couldn't go in the bar. But it was all ages
and there was not a ton to do. So we
went down there and as soon as I parked the
car and get out with my friend, this guy walks
up to us. He's like, how long are you guys
going to be an ESPN zone? And we're like blocks

(42:35):
from it, but he just knew exactly where we were going.
And we were like, oh, I don't know. We were
like a few hours or something. He goes, listen, I'll
watch your meter, cause these meters are two hours. If
you give me five dollars, I'll come back in two
hours and put four quarters in. But if you can
give me two dollars, I'm going to go get a
chicken box for my dollars. It's a four piece chicken
box for two dollars, so out the five there'll be

(42:56):
a dollar left over. But I'll keep putting quarters in
every hour until you get back. So then we go.
We go okay, and we give them five bucks or whatever.
Because we're sixteen years old. Yeah, we go to ESPN
we're having fun, we leave. I have a ticket on
my car.

Speaker 5 (43:12):
No, I was really hoping for humanity for this one.

Speaker 3 (43:15):
He took five dollars from two idiots and was like,
see you later. But it's always numbers. It urts.

Speaker 1 (43:22):
It's numbers.

Speaker 4 (43:22):
It was always so funny.

Speaker 2 (43:24):
It was like counting on you not being able to
do like the math quick enough to like figure out
what the scam was.

Speaker 4 (43:30):
Oh my god, I love that.

Speaker 1 (43:32):
You paid for that story. That's all. It was dollars
for a wonderful story.

Speaker 3 (43:36):
I'll take it is Can you just put a license
in the mail and it'll get back to the person.
That's a great question, probably for our mail carrier ban animals.
Can you put a loss in a mail box?

Speaker 1 (43:49):
Just throw it in the mail box?

Speaker 3 (43:50):
Oh, it's got a it's got an address on it.

Speaker 1 (43:53):
Yeah, and we know the person lives there.

Speaker 5 (43:55):
He put a stamp on it.

Speaker 1 (43:56):
Yeah, that's put a stamp on it. Scotty. You want
to want you want to give us another.

Speaker 3 (44:02):
One, I'll give you another one. I have so many
funny ones. Thanks for everybody sending. Sometimes there's like weeks
where the stories are just grand. I'm gonna find out
the exact bananimal on my phone? Who sent this in?
Because I want to give them credit. Well, I'll read
the headline while I do this. Justin Bieber lives in
fear of Judge Judy. Oh good, I find this beautiful Bananamal.

(44:31):
I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling. I'll find it at some point
and I'll say it at the end. This was in
Jezebel or on jezebel dot com, written by Katie Ruth
Ruth Ashcraft. I was going on that confused me, Katie
Ruth Ashcraft. It's the Ashcraft that threw me off. We
all know an Ashcroft. Yeah, but she is the best

(44:53):
in the visit Jezebel, no doubt about it. And I
still can't find the name. We will get to the
face of daytime Justice scares the pop prints so bad
that he's hired guards to warn him if she is
ever nearby. What Justin Bieber is so afraid of Judge
Judy that he's hired security staff to go into places

(45:16):
before he gets there and let him know if she.

Speaker 1 (45:19):
Judges Judy is inside the That's crazy.

Speaker 5 (45:22):
I want Judge Judy to be scary. This makes me
really happy.

Speaker 3 (45:25):
Yeah, yeah, So This is why Katie Ruth Ashcraft, whose
name I've butchered, is the best in the biz. She
sets the table for us. Okay, it's mid day, you're hungry,
but your fridge is empty. It would make the most
sense just hop in your car and drive to pick
something up fast and easy. Maybe a burger, maybe some nuggets.

(45:47):
You put on your shoes, you grab your wallet and keys.
But before you open the door to face the outside world,
you ask one of your bodyguards if she is there. Yeah,
you hired them specifically to keep safe from her. She
terrifies you. Luckily she is not outside. You take a
deep sigh of relief and walk to your very fancy

(46:09):
expensive sports car because you are justin Bieber.

Speaker 2 (46:13):
Yeah, the in reality, it is you go downstairs to
the Albertsons you keep in the basement, and you buy
the food you want and come back up because you
are justin Bieber. You does not do his old grocery
shop right.

Speaker 3 (46:29):
And never have to leave your own home. Oh, here
it is. It was sent in by Lauren just the
name Lauren Jerry. Hey, Lauren, all right, great, thank you Lauren,
Thank you Lauren. Sorry I lost that story. Oh bye,

(46:52):
Luckily she's not outside. You take a deep blah blah blah.
You're Justin Bieber. And she is, of course, someone who
regularly says, quote, I'm the boss Apple Sauce end quote,
the universally terrifying Judge Judy. I did not know that
was one of her catchphrases. Me neither.

Speaker 1 (47:09):
That seems like a little known Judge Judy.

Speaker 3 (47:11):
Catch I'm the boss Apple Sauce. Not threatening at all,
kind of adorable.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
Really is really sounds like a grandma.

Speaker 3 (47:19):
Yeah. The boss yest TV legal mind of our lifetime
told Excess Hollywood that her former neighbor, Justin Bieber was
quote paying the front door people to let him know
when I was there coming and going, so he wouldn't
ever bump into me end quote. Why was he so
afraid of her? Great question, Katie. She thinks that it's
because of a twenty fourteen comment she made about his

(47:41):
foolishness after being arrested for a dui. She said, being
a celebrity as a gift, you either treat it. You
either treat it reverently, or you can make a fool
out of yourself. And he's doing a very good job
of making a fool out of himself. I think it's sad.
And nobody's going to remember that he was a marginal singer.

(48:03):
I mean, she's going in shot JJ, but they're gonna remember.
Nobody's gonna remember that he's a marginal singer. But they are.
They will remember going to Uh, they will remember a
young kid who had a chance to have it all,
who is blowing it by acting like a fool end quote.
So she went for him. Yeah, she went for him.

(48:24):
To put it more succinctly, and in her another one
of her famous catchphrases, Beauty fades, but dumb is forever.
I don't see the connection there, like that Katie is, Yeah, exactly,
Katie is somewhat sympathetic towards Bieber in this instance, in
the face of daytime justice. Uh. If she spoke to

(48:44):
me that way, I would cower in fear and take
every precaution to avoid her too. Not me.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
This is not that bad, mean to you now, Like, hey,
Judge Judy, look I got him on the clean and
narrow I yeah.

Speaker 3 (48:57):
I mean, don't you think it would be kind of
fun to have a Martine? Can you wul Judge Judy? Absolutely,
I bet she's got stories.

Speaker 1 (49:05):
Oh my god, here's what you do. You take Judge
Judy out. You have a nice meal.

Speaker 3 (49:11):
I thought you made killer for a second waist take her,
I thought killer.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
You get wasted with, Judge Judy.

Speaker 2 (49:20):
Yeah, you insist she drives home, and then you call
the police on her, get her to get a dui,
and then you go in the press and say, Judge
Judy needs to get her shit together.

Speaker 3 (49:31):
Yeah, take notes, Bebes. Not only did Bieber get arrested
for a dui in the winter of twenty fourteen, but
that same season he created twenty thousand dollars worth of
damages by egging a neighbor's home. I mean, how hard
are you throwing eggs?

Speaker 1 (49:46):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (49:47):
Twenty grand worth of that's that's inflated.

Speaker 3 (49:49):
They knew who Yeah, that's inflation.

Speaker 2 (49:52):
Also, if Justin Bieber egged your house, I would also
sue him for twenty thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (50:00):
Blah blah blah blah blah. But yeah, it's just basically,
Judge Judy, it says it's unclear how egging amounted to
that level of damages, which is what we're saying. Yeah,
but that's not the point, Judge Judy got ahead of
any future problems by letting her one day neighbor know
that she's not to be fucked with, which I don't
understand where that came from either, but we're gonna go

(50:21):
with it.

Speaker 1 (50:23):
Did you ever do anything with it, Georgia?

Speaker 5 (50:26):
I did toilet papering once, so fun. Yeah, which now
as an adult I feel bad about because that is
a big mess to clean up.

Speaker 4 (50:35):
For sure.

Speaker 1 (50:36):
I don't know. I think eggs are probably worse than
to absolutely.

Speaker 4 (50:40):
Oh thank god.

Speaker 3 (50:41):
Well, if you live somewhere where it rains, it's okay
to toilet paper house because it eventually just you know,
gets dissolved, dissolved. But in La it's ten to fifteen
years can go by and you're still the house that
got rolled.

Speaker 1 (50:54):
Oh no, But.

Speaker 3 (50:56):
Have you ever were you ever afraid of everybody? Like
in high school? Did you avoid hallways because of a
certain future or another student or anything. I was thinking
about this, if I've ever avoided anybody? And there's only
one that I could come up with, Kirk, give me
a man's first name, an old man's first name.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
Uh, Gerald, Great, So.

Speaker 3 (51:15):
I'm going to go with Gerald. So I worked in
this bike shop from fourteen to eighteen, and one day
this older gentleman, probably late sixties, real tall guy comes
charging in and he goes who works here, and I say,
I do. I'm like sixteen, probably fifteen or sixteen, and

(51:35):
his name was Gerald Gold and he goes, what's the
most expensive bike in the store? And I said, and
my boss instantly jumps up, because you know, the guy
owned the bike shop, and he's like, Hi, how nice
to meet you. I'm Jeff And we had this bike
that was called a Colonago was the company, and it
was kind a dream, I think, and I think it
was like four grand or five.

Speaker 1 (51:55):
Grand, and it's in the nineties.

Speaker 3 (51:58):
This was in ninety nine, so that's a lot.

Speaker 2 (52:02):
One hundred thousand dollars now, yeah, yeah, basically so, but
Gerald was like I want him to me, like, I
want him to sell it to me.

Speaker 3 (52:13):
And I was pretty good at sales back then.

Speaker 1 (52:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (52:15):
So my boss was like, don't fuck this up, you know.
I'm like okay. So he he's like, this is the
most expensive one. Is it nice? And I was like, yeah,
it's beautiful. It's this, this, and this. We pull it
off the wall and it's miraculously can fit him, and
he's like, great, I'll take this, and I need all
the stuff, meaning helmet, shoes, gloves, bike shorts, bike rack,

(52:36):
which is like, you know, another three or four hundred dollars.
All in all, this ends up being like six thousand
dollars with a sale. Like my boss was like like
at a boy, pat me on the back, super excited.
So I feel great. He feels great. This rich guy
who sold a dot com that was his thing. I
later found out that he had an early like sports

(52:57):
betting dot com or actually you know what it was.
It was a weather it was local weather back in
the nineties, and he sold it for like fifty million dollars. Wow,
my god, So that that gold the golden years of
his life. He was just gonna blow that money. And
so I put the bike rack on his land Rover
and I put the Colonadgo on the bike crack, and
I'm like, this was a great day. I bet I

(53:17):
get a race because of this. And then I realized
that this older dude, Jerald worked out at the same
gym at the end of the shopping center that I do.
And the way I found this out is the next
time I went there, he goes, Scottie walks directly across
the locker room, fully naked and stands in front of
me with his hands on his hips, and he's like,
I love the bike. I'm riding it all the time.

(53:38):
I've been putting miles here. He's like, what's how about
you ride every week? I'm like one hundred miles if
I'm training.

Speaker 4 (53:43):
Oh my god, and he's naked.

Speaker 3 (53:46):
Every time I would go, he would walk fully nude
over to me, hands on his or a teenage right,
sixteen or fifteen probably.

Speaker 4 (53:55):
Oh my god, you're a child.

Speaker 3 (53:57):
And he's tall, he's like sixty five. So I'm looking
into gray chest hair, gray and black chest hair, this
large man that just wants to talk cycling so hard.
And then the funniest part was so like I would avoid.
I wouldn't go to the locker room, like I would
just go and shower at the bike shop or change
the bike shop, or like I would just you know,
if I saw him Mary, he'd come over when I

(54:18):
was working out or whatever, just talk biking. But so
then one day after pee and I go in there,
I'm like, I got a pee, Like there's no other
way around this, And so I walk in and he's
already put a T shirt on, and he sees me
and walks over to me like Winnie the Poow.

Speaker 5 (54:33):
Just the most offensive naked.

Speaker 3 (54:38):
It is with a V neck white T shirt like Scottie.
Oh god, I got my girl into riding too, And
I'm just standing there like making hard eye contact. Yeah,
eye contact I've never made to this day with anybody
in my life. Just like, yes, sir, but what a creep.
It's the only time in my life. Gerald Gold, I

(54:59):
got he's probably still alive in tormenting people back in
Owings Mills. But my god, it was like, don't you
do it? Put your pants on, you pervert.

Speaker 5 (55:08):
If a teenage boy, you need to have some decorum, please.

Speaker 3 (55:12):
Anything a jockstrap, your hands, tell, a basketball.

Speaker 2 (55:19):
A mustache, hilarious mustache would make it work.

Speaker 5 (55:23):
Glasses in a mustache would be great.

Speaker 3 (55:26):
Anything, Gerald, Oh.

Speaker 1 (55:28):
God, Well, thank you so much for being here, Georgia.

Speaker 5 (55:31):
My pleasure as always, you guys. It's always so much
fun chatting and hanging out with you both. Thanks for
having me.

Speaker 3 (55:38):
We're thankful for you, We're thankful for the whole exactly
right family.

Speaker 1 (55:42):
Oh my gosh, I'm thankful for you, Scottie.

Speaker 3 (55:45):
I'm thankful for you, Kurdie b thankful for you, Katie.
That's right. Adopt animals, everybody. Let's start fostering some doggies
in Los Angeles.

Speaker 1 (55:56):
B no Is.

Speaker 3 (56:11):
Bananas is an exactly right media production.

Speaker 1 (56:13):
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.

Speaker 3 (56:16):
The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.

Speaker 3 (56:23):
And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and
Georgia Hartstart

Speaker 2 (56:27):
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot
intern