Mr Steak Hand Puppet

Kevin wins Mr. Steak and Harley gets it Fresco style. PLUS: Kevin is still on the Dogma Resurrection tour. See it with him! dogmamovie.com

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Welcome by back.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Wow sticks me. I'm Kevin Smith and I'm Harley Quinn Smith.
Really starting to regret that bit.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
I know every time I can feel, I feel.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
They'll never treat me seriously if I can't just say
welcome back to beardless stickless men. I like, listen this
fucking thirsty clown trying to make his fucking kid laugh.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
You want too much validation, old man.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
They say, from the fucking peanut gallery, And I say back, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
I like the element of surprise every time you keep
switching it up.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
Your fucking boyfriend soon to be a husband in a
couple of years. Better fucking take a page out of
that book.

Speaker 3 (01:28):
What keep keeping me surprised?

Speaker 2 (01:30):
Keeping it fresh?

Speaker 3 (01:32):
So true?

Speaker 2 (01:32):
Fucking time and shit, He's got to do the equivalent,
like every morning when you wake up and you open
your eyes. He has to be like, welcome back your face.
If you have a membership to that Kevin Smith club
where you can watch beardless stickless me, not just hear it,
but watch it. You would see her crack up even

(01:55):
at the thought of Austin going welcome back. You would
also see that the kid, I mean, you can't quite
see it in the camera.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
But I'll oh my shirt.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
Look at that shit.

Speaker 3 (02:09):
I wore a Bullwinkle shirt.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
Would you forget it today? Okay, I appreciate it. It's
when Bullwinkle, Rocky and Bowt Gle did a run for
Taco Bell.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
Yes, the back is Taco Bell.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
It's a Taco Bell and you actually fuck with Taco Bell.

Speaker 3 (02:23):
I love Tacoot.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
It's not like you're wearing a McDonald's shirt and you're like, well,
I don't want to wear it, but I do want
to wear the bull Winkles.

Speaker 3 (02:31):
Like you get to wear this with pride.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
Yeah, and on the back of be like, I fuck
with Taco Bell.

Speaker 3 (02:35):
I actually love Taco Bell.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
What do you get there as a vegan?

Speaker 3 (02:39):
Well, here are the tips and tricks. A blast just there.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Last night what I went to taco about. Last night,
me and Jay did a show at in Charlottesville, Virginia.
What a great town, beautiful, fucking cool, liberal enclave, you know,
one of those ten miles surrounded by real because they
are in Virginia. But man, oh man, what a great
fucking town. So we did a show and then after

(03:07):
the show, we drove at midnight. Between midnight one we
drove from Charlottesville, Virginia to Washington, d C. It was
two hours away. So for the drive, I was like,
I'm gonna get me through taco. So I went and
got the bean and the.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
Cheat was it called the cheesy bean burrito, but without
the cheese and without frit jalapeno sauce.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
Yeah, crisco.

Speaker 4 (03:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
So I had two of those last night. Man. So
there's stuff on the Taco bell menu that, like a
vegan like myself, were like quinnsterrickin fuck with what do
you get? You get like some fried.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
Chilupa fair don't you I wish?

Speaker 2 (03:48):
No? Don't you get something with a crispy thing? Or no?

Speaker 3 (03:51):
Yeah, I get the black bean crunch Wrap, which is
like a flower tortilla on the outside, corn crunchy tortilla
in the middle with black beans, lettuce and tomato. And
then I add, well, if I take out the cheese
and I take out the sour cream by making a
fresco style and I add more beans and then the

(04:12):
other type of beans also.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
You can do that. You can be like can you
put more beans?

Speaker 3 (04:15):
You can put rice in it too. You can put
potatoes in it?

Speaker 2 (04:19):
Could I for my burrito be like, can you take
out the cheese and put in some black beans on
top of the refrive? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (04:26):
You totally totally should we go?

Speaker 2 (04:29):
Fu?

Speaker 3 (04:29):
Should we go?

Speaker 2 (04:31):
The beautiful thing about taco bell is Burger King seems
to close at ten or midnight. Yes, But wherever I
am and generally am in college towns and ship, taco
bells open until like eleven am. Yep, they close for
ten minutes and then open for lunch, like you could
get taco bell and I guess it's not. It's no

(04:53):
secret because when you pull up to a taco bell
at two in the morning, there's a long ass line. Yeah,
because every other place is closed, So they're like, hey man,
it's the only game in town. McDonald's goes late to there.

Speaker 3 (05:05):
We can't eat anything at McDonald's. There's not even the
beau and yeah, animal fuck.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
Speaking of beef tallow once again, if you had beard
beardless stickless me, Well, if you had that Kevin Smith club,
you'd beat. You could be watching beardless stick with me
and you would see me that Kevinsmith club dot com
to join You see me holding up a hand puppet
that I bought on eBay recently. This was a hand

(05:32):
puppet that has a menu on the back of it
from the restaurant Mister Steak, which I spent an inordinate
amount of time during my childhood at, and I would
always wonder like why how could we afford to do it?
We would do like little life hacks and Ship, Like
you could go there in the seventies and be like, today's.

Speaker 3 (05:51):
My birch Mica, like to my birthday.

Speaker 2 (05:55):
And they'd be like, oh, we're bringing you a cake,
like a whole ass cake cake, not like you know,
here's this and sing and you'd fuck get advocates really generous,
very We took advantage of it the Smiths, which is
weird because we were so Catholic. But my mom was like,
you tell me your birthday, so we get a free cake.

Speaker 3 (06:11):
I love free stuff.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
Well, from your grandmother, from your mother, you don't. You don't, don't.
I'd rather earn my shit.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
I don't want.

Speaker 3 (06:21):
It free my okay, don't make me look bad.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
Your mom loves a free fucking thing.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
Who doesn't love a free thing?

Speaker 2 (06:30):
Me? We went to Sundance one year and that's when
they started like the gifting suits and Ship and they
were like, would you like a washing machine? And she
was like yeah, And I'm like, no, what if we
want a washing machine, we'll buy one. Thank you.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
This is bro offers you a free washing machine. You
fucking take that.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
I don't do that for so anyway, Oh my god.
This mister Steak puppet, which I bought online for fifteen
bucks on eBay worth every penny would have paid much
more because again, this was a big figure of my childhood.
And if you had the version of the show you
can watch the video version of Beardless Stickless Me, you'd
be seeing this mister Steak puppet and the character mister Steak,

(07:09):
and there would be an un mistake, thank you, a
bowl a resemblance between the cow character of mister Steak
and who movie that's right movie. There's even been a
bowl Winkle in there too.

Speaker 3 (07:27):
I don't appreciate when cows are used to.

Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yes this was the sixties and seventies, but chick.

Speaker 3 (07:37):
Fil A does that like it's like cows trying to
get people to eat chickens so they don't eat cows.
I don't I don't love that they all want to DIGO.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
Well, I'm do with this shit.

Speaker 4 (07:51):
I'm digging this damp.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
This is why the jackle Bell home au.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
Where'd you get that T shirt?

Speaker 3 (07:57):
This T shirt at their store?

Speaker 2 (08:00):
How much? How much is an old bone wnkle shirt?

Speaker 3 (08:02):
Go for it? Twenty bucks?

Speaker 2 (08:04):
That's pretty cheap.

Speaker 3 (08:06):
When I was at Coachella the other week in the desert, yes,
I was looking about that.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
What are we talking about? That's hold on, let me finish,
mister stack.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
Okay, sorry.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
The prices on the back of the Mister Steak puppet
kids indicate that mister Steak the family place. You could
order from the kid's menu chicken little, which is two
pieces of chicken, peach garnish, ranch house toast French.

Speaker 3 (08:40):
Are you just not able to read it.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
Because potatoes is very small?

Speaker 3 (08:44):
Oh my god? I was like, what what's going on?

Speaker 2 (08:47):
If I go like this, would you like me to
read it? No, little Jack, that chicken little, two pieces
of chicken, a peach garnish, a French ranch house toast?
What is that ranch house toast? You've never heard that?
And French fried potato French frb potatos ninety nine cents. Wow,

(09:11):
you can eat like a fucking king in the seventies.

Speaker 3 (09:13):
Bro, This one Celsius is like five.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
Bumps, No shit, little Jack Horner steak, Okay, you're gonna
get yourself a child sized steak served with ranch house
toast and French fab petators stuff one dollar twenty nine cents.
M salad is not included with children's portion to mister

(09:38):
Steak likes kids and kids like mister steak too. Okay,
snow white and the three shrimp come with three large shrimp,
Ranch house toast and French fr potators. Ninety nine cents
for three shrimps? Is that good? I've never ate seafoods anymore.

Speaker 3 (09:56):
It sounds like a pretty good deal.

Speaker 2 (09:58):
Then the humpty dumpty burger Ready for this shit, mister
steak hamburger served with a generous portion of French fries
and hamburger garnish. How much do you think that's going
to set you back? One twenty not eating fifty nine
fucking cent bro whoa copyright nineteen seventies. This is the

(10:21):
year I was born. But they were still giving these
shits out like when I was a kid, I dare
not put my hand in it because I'll split it.
Like but at one point I used to wear this.
My father would put this on and be like, what
do you want to eat? Coop?

Speaker 3 (10:34):
Really on, that's cute.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
Oh god, I'm sorry. I just made that up. That
never happened.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
That never happened that I would call it.

Speaker 2 (10:48):
Seemed like a sweet thing that could have happened. But
then as I thought about it, I was like, your
father wasn't that guy? But then he was? But then not?
Probably not.

Speaker 3 (10:58):
I appreciate the honor.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
I catch myself every once in a while lionizing my father,
like in a way that I wouldn't say it's over
the top where I'm like doney doney man, but like
I make him out to be what I think he

(11:21):
might have felt, more so than what he ever really
truly exhibited and stuff like my man in a restaurant.
I don't think he would have like fucking done a
funny voice, because he was always embarrassed, like, don't call
attention to yourselves because he grew up. You know, I
had the cleft palate and the cleft lip, born shit,
so he didn't want to be looked at and ship
so if we did, you know, kids are loud and weird, right,

(11:45):
but we weren't allowed to be that. Like Johnny cousin
Judy's son, you know, him and Rachel would like literally
fucking eat their cereal like this, take a spoonful of
like nah, and they would literally say nam as they check.
Oh my god, if we ever did that, like my

(12:07):
mom would shoot daggers at us, like fucking really, my
father didn't have to do anything because my mom, my mom,
like she knew how the table had to be set,
like that's why. I's like, because my dad's cleft palate,
we couldn't sit soda out of a straw, like for
drinking a cup, like like my mom would be like

(12:28):
she'd look at you like fucking.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (12:32):
But it wasn't like you fucking idiot. It was like
at the root of it was that's gonna hurt his feelings,
which I don't know if she might have drawn that
conjecture or conclusion herself or if you ever. I was
just laying in bed one day at night was like grace, yeah,

(12:52):
puff grace. I hate it when the kids slurp on straws.
It reminds me of my Cliff House. I don't think
that'll wrap. And I think my mom was like overly
protective of my dad's or maybe my dad said when
I was a kid, kids did that in school, Like
it reminded me that I couldn't do it. My dad
couldn't do that with a straw, couldn't really use a straw,

(13:14):
and so I think maybe my mom just picked up
the charge for him. It was just like, don't don't
embarrass him, don't call attention, don't don't, don't don't. Hey,
I'm sorry. Just looking at the people listening are like,
what is that. I was looking at the soundbar before
we went. We were recording for like two minutes, and
I looked and I noticed there was no sound whatsoever.

(13:37):
So right now I was talking low.

Speaker 3 (13:39):
People complain about the sound.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
I mean, I don't know how to tell you will
it is one of those people. Well, Wilkins just like
you know. I hit him up the other day because
I tried to listen back to the show. He's like,
you want to give me a description for the show.
And I remember I said something on the show where
I was like, oh, that'll be the title. Then I
couldn't remember what it was. So I want to go
back and listen to the show, and I played it
back in my life. Top full valume values really like

(14:08):
I couldn't hear it.

Speaker 3 (14:10):
Listen.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
So I wrote to him, going, bro, I can't even
hear this, man, Like, can we do something about this recording?
Like why can't old recordings I could hear? I can edit.
I used to be able to hit my ship, but
I can't even hear this and stuff. And he was like,
we have the volumes turned He's like, you do whatever
you wants your studio, but we have the volumes at
the level they are because you guys are so fucking
close that you bleed into each other's mics. So in

(14:33):
order to edit you or isolate you, I'm having you
set it down there, He's going. He sent me back
a file with the volume turned up, and I could
hear everything. Just great. So when I'm done with this tour,
this forthcoming Dogma tour by the way, Dogma movie, when
I come back, we're gonna redo this place. So the

(14:55):
next pop really table. Yeah, we're not gonna be this
close beat this close again ever again. We need a
little more distance between us to spread some mi.

Speaker 3 (15:06):
Yes, we do.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
I just need some time a lot.

Speaker 3 (15:09):
I just need a break.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
Remember kids, passes the future in the future features the present.
We are not talking in real time. I did this
weeks ago. For all I know. I'm from the.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
I hate this bit.

Speaker 2 (15:31):
It's not a bit.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
To haunt the audience of beard listen ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (15:38):
After I die, the show becomes weird list God, beardless,
stickless ghost, Welcome to beardless Ghosts, Welcome back. Welcome Ghost'm
Kevin Smith.

Speaker 3 (15:56):
I'm not here participating in this.

Speaker 2 (15:59):
Let's be doing the show about myself in another world.
I'm Kevin Smith. I wish somebody was here because that's
my hell by myself. Actually, that's so true. I'm not
like really a people person. Actually that sounds more like
my heaven, Like you're dead and here's your eternal reward.
I was like, but I'm here by myself. They're like,
do we know you? Or do we know I was like,
thank you.

Speaker 4 (16:19):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
Oh my god, I'm gonna get so much reading done.
And I sit down and I drop my glasses step
on it, and I'm like, oh no, no, spend eternity
searching for a book that I can't read because my
glasses are broken.

Speaker 3 (16:32):
You need glasses, you really you cannot see.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
Submitted for your approval. That was an episode of the
Twilight Zone that I just did. I didn't just make
that up.

Speaker 3 (16:41):
Oh really Yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:41):
There was an episode of The Twilight Zone called Time
Enough or something like that. Bert just Meredith is a
guy with glasses and he uh like wanted time to
read and fucking everyone's always in his face and blah
blah blah whatever. Long story, short, bomb goes off. He's
the last one left on a huge pile of books

(17:02):
and he's just like this is everything yay. And he's
wearing glass and his glasses fall off, and then he's
like where are they and you hear him step and
he goes He's like, no, no, no, because he's trapped
with all these books. I'll never be able to read.
And then Rod Serling, who was the guy who wrote
most of him, he was like the and this show
was essentially the old timey version of Black Mirror. He

(17:22):
would be like submitted for your approval. A man who
has all the time in the world yet won't be
able to read. It'll be forever locked in the library
of the Twilight Zone.

Speaker 3 (17:34):
That was pretty good.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
Remember, oh, is that your familiarity with Twilight Zone? Did
you ever watch an episode or.

Speaker 3 (17:45):
Yeah, I've definitely watched it.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
When did you watch The twilight Zone.

Speaker 3 (17:48):
I've since been watching the Twilight Zone for a minute,
went bro, what color is it black and white?

Speaker 2 (17:55):
Because there's a color version. There's two color versions, might
be three at this point. There was a version of
The Twilight Zone I used to watch with my mom
when I was in high school that aired on CBS
really good, and Bruce Willis was in an episode called
Shatter Day, a young Bruce Willis before he had die Hard,
before he even had Moonlighting. And in the episode, it's

(18:17):
submitted for your approval. Peter J. Novins a man who
you know, he was selfish and shit. But he's about
to make a phone call that gets dances that will
be answered in the Twilight Zone. So Peter J. Novans
is just piece of shit, like Wall Street kind of
guy whatnot. Doesn't have time for his mother, doesn't it
his fucking time for his girlfriend and shit like that.

(18:39):
So he's at a bar and he's like, Jimmy, give
me the phone. I got make a call. And he
goes make a call and it's something that nobody does
anymore because we just all press a button preprogram number.
But he dialed or did the rotary and then he
was like, ugh, can you believe it? I dib my

(19:00):
own number. I'm so stupid, And he goes to hang up,
and then all of a sudden, you hear his voice
go hello, and he's like hello. He's like, who is this.
He goes, It's Peter J. Novins. He goes, this is
Peter J. Novins. He goes, well, you called me. He's like, well,
I accidentally called my house. He's like, well, you called
my house. He's like, who is this And he's like,
Peter J. Novins. He's going, but I can't, you can't.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
I'm Peter J.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
And then he finds out that there is a doppelganger
of him in his house and he can't go home
because he might disappear. So he's speaking to Peter J.
Novins only by the phone over the course of the
next week. So it begins on I think it ends

(19:46):
on Shatterday. So I think it was like Mondays, Tuesday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
but they all had weird names for the day of
the week, and then Saturday became Shatterday. So over the
course of the week, he keeps calling this guy be look,
you got to get out of my house. And stuff.
He's like, no, in fact, I just visited with mom,
spend time with her. Bater Flowers going like, you know,

(20:08):
I told her, and I'm gonna be better at this
and I'm gonna spend more time with her, you know.
And he's like, I'm learning to do your life better
than you ever did. And so Peter J. Novins, the
original guy, is like, hold up in a hotel room
and he's getting like more and more fucking freaked out
and fucking drinking and he's all sketching shit. And then

(20:28):
the replacement Peter J. Novins shows up at the hotel.
You know, he's just looking down him. He's like, look
at you, pathetic, all the opportunities and waste and all
the people you hurt. And he's like, I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life making up for that. He's going,
thank you, and Lee, he's like, please don't leave me.
He's like you left yourself or something like that and

(20:49):
walks away. And then the one on the hotel floor
like just disintegrates and then you know, submitted for your approval.
Peter J. Novins man who's turned over a new lease
in life, and it's a metaphor for just like changing
your life, really great episode? You want me to cry?

(21:10):
I am I gonna cry? I know you're looking at
me like here.

Speaker 3 (21:13):
Comes No, I just watched the episode because you watched
me through it, a step by step, every detail. I
never need to see it because I already just did.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
I don't even know where you would sit it. Like
I think if you go to YouTube and enter shatter Day,
it'll pop up every once in a while, I see
one of those old twilights and episodes. But going back
to the original point, you fuck with a black and
white Twilight.

Speaker 3 (21:33):
I have, yeah, like which one?

Speaker 2 (21:36):
Like?

Speaker 3 (21:36):
Which one? I don't know.

Speaker 2 (21:40):
I mean they're all pretty memorable.

Speaker 3 (21:42):
You mean to tell me I don't have the memory
that you have. Are you fucking kidding me?

Speaker 2 (21:47):
Out? A school of rock end?

Speaker 3 (21:49):
If you want to be the teachers?

Speaker 2 (21:54):
Maybe the kids got married?

Speaker 3 (21:57):
I know, Oh, I know.

Speaker 2 (22:00):
I don't know if you know this, Like we only
talked about at the beginning of the show for like
ten episodes, how do we fall into the Twilight Zone hole?

Speaker 3 (22:11):
You know, I never really know how we get to
where we we end up on this show.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
Let me ask you this. You're twenty five gona twenty six.
Now you're off financed. You'll be married within two years.
Do you ever get in a fight when you were
in school, like a fist fight? You ever get physical, motherfucker?
Like a punch of socker kid in the eye?

Speaker 3 (22:34):
Yeah, Dylan Murray?

Speaker 2 (22:38):
What was that about?

Speaker 3 (22:39):
He pulled down my pants and I gave him a
black eye?

Speaker 2 (22:44):
You were like twenty two? How old?

Speaker 3 (22:47):
And that was last night?

Speaker 1 (22:51):
I'm engaged, Dylan Murray, suck. How old are you.

Speaker 2 (22:57):
When this happened?

Speaker 3 (22:59):
I I know, maybe like five six?

Speaker 2 (23:02):
What was the circumstances by which your drawers were pulled down?
What was it your pants or what was it?

Speaker 3 (23:07):
Yeah? My pants were pulled down in gymnastics.

Speaker 2 (23:12):
You were in gymnastic? Yeah, And Dylan Murray was like yeah.

Speaker 3 (23:15):
And then I gave him a black eye. And then
Pau says that I also punched a boy on the
ski slopes. And I also punched a boy at my gym, at.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
My gym mm hmm. That's why we had to stop going, like, sir,
take your punching little child.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
Why is your baby punching?

Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yeah? Man, what is it with you?

Speaker 3 (23:39):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (23:39):
I punched boy and I liked it. I punched boy
and liked it. Ebe more. Then I punched a third
bully and he punched me back, and him name eight.

Speaker 3 (23:57):
He does he's not going to appreciate that.

Speaker 2 (23:59):
Why you punched him. He punched you back, And finally
you met somebody who stood up to you, and that's
why you fell in.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
And that's why, right, that's how.

Speaker 2 (24:06):
All the other boys you punched. And I could have
kept going like I punched the boy and he cried
piece of shit. When he gets the third one who
then punches you back, you realize, oh this the song
ends like that, boy, mean, that's exactly how the song.

(24:27):
I'm just saying, like you're wasting your time with like
fucking Luke and Nick your fucking song.

Speaker 3 (24:32):
Right, well, thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
Fire lyrics over here, I mean like I ain't shitting
on like you scared me, but like that fucking that song,
I just sang lyrics of which I already forgot fire.

Speaker 6 (24:46):
I punked the boy. Could he feels good? That puts boy,
because that's the way I should. But then I pushed
your third boy and he said, hey, get hurt my arm.

Speaker 2 (25:01):
I said, oh, I'm real sorry. We we she lost
the thread. She keeps trying to write a punk song,
but then she remember she's in love and I founced,
and so it becomes about some boy that punches her
back and I don't think the song's gonna work.

Speaker 3 (25:24):
You gotta shut this song down.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
We gotta, we gotta stop this.

Speaker 2 (25:28):
You're like fucking like Whitney Houston when she was recording
an album outa fucking Bahamas or something like that. If
you were watching Whitney Houston talk the guy who was like,
what did they call that? When you worked at a
record label and you handled the talent. It's not R
and D. That's research and development, but it's something else.

(25:49):
And his job was to like get her next album recorded.
And they were like there for a year and a
half and never once recorded anything. Oh and he was
real like you know, he would talk about like it's
kind of it's it's fun until it's not. Yeah, because
she obviously had some issues, but he would be like,
you know, we would try to rally her and be

(26:10):
like nippy like we gotta we gotta record now, we
gotta record now, and he's like, she just wanted to party,
and like so we all got sucked into it.

Speaker 3 (26:22):
How'd we get here?

Speaker 2 (26:23):
Because of the money spent to make it, like they
gave her. I think it was like fifteen million dollars
and she didn't record a single song for that whole time.
And she was like, we're gonna go down to record
in the Islands and blah blah blah. Wow, they don't
do that anymore, man, They'll give that kind of money
to nobody.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
Probably, right, fifteen million dollars like Twigs.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
When I did the Twigs video, She's like, I'm paying
for this video myself. She's like, they don't pay. What
is it called? It's not R and D. There's an
A and R or a artist relations A. Is that
what it is? There's a job of somebody who handles
the talent on behalf of the label. Forget what it is. Anyway,

(27:13):
moving on, This all spun out of hear you punching
I picked you boy, right of course I loved it.

Speaker 1 (27:22):
So I Boy because I'm not a boy.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
Is not a great song to put out there.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Why It's like, why not? Katy Perry had a whole
hit with I Kissed a Girl, and you just don't
say you can't sing it like she does those we
get sued, but same sentiment, right, Yeah, I mean I

(27:53):
just want one radio hit. I wish I had a
novelty hit. Man.

Speaker 3 (27:58):
If you I would love for you to have a song.

Speaker 2 (28:02):
A novelty hit. M hmm. What if it was like,
you know, really embarrassing though, Like my novelty hit was
like I'm a little dick fucker and everyone was singing
it and ship and you're like, that's my father. I
don't want to hear about it. And people like your
dad's little dick fucker and you're like whatever, anyway, this
is my band Cinnamon.

Speaker 3 (28:23):
Oh my God.

Speaker 2 (28:24):
Like, hey, Cinnamon, we'll let you play the fucking uh
what's the Coachella? If you open for uh? I already
forgot the title little dick, little dick fucker, your father.
If you get your father to come and fucking drop
little dick fucker man and we'll bring in some rappers

(28:44):
to fucking collapse and whatnot, then you can open for h.

Speaker 3 (28:51):
I mean, how can I say, yeah, how could I
ever pass that up?

Speaker 2 (28:57):
And I'm like, I don't feel it. I don't want
to feel you sing little dick fuck again. You're like,
you have to dad, this you sang little dick fucker,
and you ruined my childhood by embarrassing me as the
father I was the daughter of little dick fucker.

Speaker 1 (29:08):
Now is my time to cash in.

Speaker 2 (29:10):
I need this. I'm like all right, So I go
up there all uninspired for the fucking fortieth year in
a row. I'm like, I'm a little day. I hate
my soul and life.

Speaker 7 (29:22):
You're crying yeah, and people are like, boh, this is
out of abuse.

Speaker 1 (29:33):
His daughter must be following this or something.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
Paint yeah, people throwing cans at mean shit.

Speaker 3 (29:42):
Oh head you pass out?

Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah, like.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
Oh oh job right.

Speaker 3 (29:50):
Away you bleed out on the stick.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
And you're like, oh my god, dad, And they're like
get out there, like what do you mean to help him?
Like not to start performing, But he's out there performing
over and say You're like you're mist while you're standing
over me.

Speaker 3 (30:04):
And I'm like, oh, someone my dad in the head
with the cat.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
Yeah, but like show must go on. It's like your
dad would be the first one to tell you that
to get up there. And you fucking sing that you
scare me song. You're like the star, Yeah, whatever, fuck.

Speaker 3 (30:22):
You scare me song. It's crazy.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
May ask a question about your band, Send him in
the band. Yeah what, I'm just trying to do a
little promo for you.

Speaker 3 (30:36):
Oh thank you. I appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
One day, many many millennia from now, when Bill moves on,
do you rename the band Bill the band?

Speaker 3 (30:53):
That's a separate side project.

Speaker 1 (30:55):
I was gonna say, that's your fucking offshoot project.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
That's your to the talking heads and Ship.

Speaker 3 (31:03):
Is my is my solo project?

Speaker 2 (31:06):
View the band, and it's like, do you in order
for it to be a side project, do you bring
nuke Nuke? Yeah? N you can lick with you? Do
Luke and Nick comes to the side project, or it's
not a side project that it's just fucking cinnamon like job.
When he goes solo, he left Richie Sambora behind and
Tico and Taco or all the rest of him and

(31:26):
Ship like that. So in order for you to do
the solo thing, you would probably have to be like
Melan Cally infinite sadness. I got a new band, and
I'm like, oh, all right, well that's cool. I guess
such fucking playing and like fucking abandoned man, you abandoned us,

(31:52):
h you ditched me? Yeah? What would would you would
you rock a side project called Bio with the band
consider it. I mean people would talk about that though,
Like she's got two bands both named after rabbits she
used to have. People were like wait two, Like yeah, Cinnamon,

(32:18):
Why is just called the band Cinnamon Bill? Because Bill
is her side project?

Speaker 3 (32:23):
Bill Bill's Cinnamon is is the number one? Is the
main the main event?

Speaker 2 (32:30):
Be name another famous artist with a side project band,
like I guess Tom Petty was in the Traveling Wilbury's,
as was you know, Roy Orbison and a couple otherfuckers
and ship when they do them like super groups, but
other than like you know, talking heads, all of them

(32:52):
except David Byrne had the Tom Tom Club. Is it
sound like Mick Jagger ever a side hustle? I mean
maybe he had a solo album or something like that,
but not like a whole side band and stuff like that.

Speaker 3 (33:07):
Is Tom Lounge or DeLong or the from blinkin eighty two?
The one that believes in aliens? Is that the right am?
I thinking of the right guy?

Speaker 2 (33:16):
But does he have his own group?

Speaker 3 (33:18):
He had a band called Angels and Airwaves, all right,
so there you go.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
And it didn't have the other two like Travis Barker
or the other guy in it all. I guess in
order to be a side project that you can't have. Well,
that's not true because Tom Tom Club is Chris Franz,
Tina Weymouth and Jerry Harrison. Just know David David Burne

(33:42):
and then David Byrne does solo thing or has done
nothing but solo things ever since without them, and he
just goes by David Byrne or whatever. Fleetwood macd they well,
she had a solo career, but a side project, just
like Lindsay Buckingham also had a solo career as well.
I think they held it like Christine McVie had a

(34:02):
solo career because I think she sang that song that
was her big hit. She wasn't. It wasn't even a
Fleetwood mactrack serve by herself. I don't know about Mick
Fleetwood though, but why would he have a side project.
He's like, the whole fucking project is me. Band's fucking
named after me. I'm Mick Fleetwood as in Fleetwood Mac.

(34:29):
You know the song you know what the song Tusk
is about? What it's about, I don't, I don't know
it's about me, mcfleetwood's dick.

Speaker 3 (34:37):
Is it really? Oh wow, that's a great song.

Speaker 2 (34:41):
It doesn't it doesn't really go with Tusk the movie.
But if it's about that, it's like, well, but I
wrote the movie listening to that on repeat for like
three days straight.

Speaker 3 (34:53):
Really, that's so wild?

Speaker 2 (35:02):
All right? Did you get in fights besides Dylan Murray
before besides Dylan mur which is as you relate that
story years later sitting right here for a podcast, is
there any resilient trauma?

Speaker 3 (35:19):
I wouldn't say. I wouldn't say so. I can kind
of remember the Dylan Murray of it all. I can
kind of remember the moment.

Speaker 2 (35:29):
But what happened. I think he's dead now.

Speaker 3 (35:33):
I killed him that day. No, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
You, never saying or anything. You didn't wind up going
in the same circles and ship.

Speaker 3 (35:43):
I'm not sure where that guy is. I haven't punched
anyone since.

Speaker 2 (35:48):
I'm the number one fan of.

Speaker 3 (35:51):
They mentioned my name.

Speaker 2 (35:52):
I can't believe they said me. I knew it was faded.
I know I'm supposed to be with her. Oh my god,
she can punch me forevermore. You never got in a
fight with what about girls? It's so weird that, like
your examples were boys. I assumed it would be like
some sort of like.

Speaker 3 (36:09):
A cat fight or something like that, right, because that's
how girls fight. That's how girls fight.

Speaker 2 (36:16):
You never got a fight with some girl that was
like you piece of ship. Not no, not physically, no, Yeah,
girls out here fight more psychologically.

Speaker 3 (36:27):
Yeah. Absolutely, Like I've been psychological by those fights. Absolutely,
absolutely yes.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
When we were kids, I mean still to this day,
like I never want to get in a fight, Like
I'm so not a fucking fight person, and show like
that when we were kids, when we were leaving, like
old p h when I graduated eighth grade from going
to Henry Hudson, they were like, you gotta be careful

(36:56):
of initiation. What's that. That's when the older classmen grab
you and initiate you into the school. You have to
fucking go. It's kind of like when you, you know,
when you're in a frat and shit and they pledge,
they rush you. So their initiation was like they did
a bunch of different things, but one of the most
horrifying the one that we were all like, oh my god,

(37:19):
I hope that I gotta fucking do everything I can
make sure that never happens to me. The older kids
would catch you, pant you Dylan Murray style, stick a pickle.

Speaker 3 (37:30):
Up your ass, Wait a sec.

Speaker 2 (37:34):
Not done. You had to walk ten feet and keep
the pickle in. If the pickle fell out, you had
to pick it up, take a bite, reinsert, do the
ten steps all over. Now. I don't know if that
was ever done to anybody, but that was what we

(37:54):
were all terrified of, like the pickle treatment, Like, oh god,
that is you guys didn't have real departure. Nobody was
just like, all right, pickle fucker.

Speaker 3 (38:05):
No, that's I hope that never happened to anybody.

Speaker 2 (38:10):
That is traum never met anybody that was like happened
to me. I kept the pickle in the whole pickles.

Speaker 3 (38:19):
Oh good god, what a nightmare.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
I not sure that it ever really happened, But we
lived in fear of that kind of ship.

Speaker 3 (38:27):
Holy shit.

Speaker 2 (38:28):
That nuclear war, Oh my gosh, you were up without
ever worrying about nuclear war. Good for you, Like, of
all the things you've ever had to be concerned about,
did you ever once lose sleep over the thought of,
like one day they'll drop the bomb? No, that was
our generation was all that we fucking thought about, was like,
really watch the skies. Yeah, man, fucking the Cold War

(38:51):
was that its absolute fucking apex and Russia and the
United States hated each other. So there's always this looming
thread of like they could drop the bomb. They built
up their nuclear arsenal, we built ours. There was the
arms race, you build that many bombs. I got to
go somewhere right and luckily, so far, so good. Let
me tell you something happened to me on the way
from the airport today.

Speaker 3 (39:12):
Oh yeah, you were at the airport today.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
It was I left my car there, you know, when
I flew out the other night on a red eye
and then we did the gig, Me and Jay, and
then I flew back this morning. I had almost no gas,
eight to eight miles, you know before I was empty,
and so I stopped at gas station and I paid

(39:35):
the pump and I sticked the fucking nouzle in and
set it to go. Then I locked my car and
I go into the bathroom because I have to take
a whiz so fucking bad. So I was like, do
you have bathroom? They're like, So I take a whiz,
come out, and I assume like, you know that means
I've killed two birds. I've fed two birds with one

(39:56):
to see you bye, getting some gas in the car
and taking a whizz. Otherwise I was gonna be pinching
it the whole way home the ship. So I get
back out to the car and I take the nozzle
out of my gas tank and I noticed that it
says thirty six dollars, And I was like, but I
was not empty thirty six. It must have clicked off

(40:19):
or something like that. And so I put the nozzle
back in, and I was like, I, I you know,
well before I did that, I took the nozzle out,
put it in the machine, got in the car, turn
the car on car only had six miles left. So
the thirty six dollars in gas that was on the meter,

(40:39):
the gas meter was not in my car. Oh. So
there was a car at the pump right next to me.
And I guarantee you because I had this long discussion
with your mom, I was like, what do you think happened?
She was like, somebody took your guests nozzle out and
stuck it in their car when you walked awayshes. I

(41:00):
don't know anyone who walks away from their car and
they're probably cash. It's like, why do you do everything
the exact opposite of the way I would do it.
And I was like, just to fucking spite you, just
a fuck with you, just because like I was like,
why what do you mean people fucking where I'm from,
people like, you know, well, from Jersey, nobody pumps around, yeah,

(41:21):
but you know other places you fucking put Like I've
been traveling this country for fucking years. Stick your pump, guest,
you stick your fucking nozzle in the thing, You go inside,
you grab a drink, you come back out.

Speaker 3 (41:34):
I would say that's pretty normal, but Jay.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
Had yesterday Jay had talked about He's like there's a
new scam where people hang out at the the convenience
stores and gas stations near airports because people just rented
a car and they get their luggage in it and shit,
and if they stop there, if they stop on their
way back to the airport or from the airport, they
run inside. People you know, generally they don't think to

(42:00):
lock the car and ship and that's when they go in,
grab their bags and drive away. So while I was
standing at the pump after after I looked at my
gas tack and it was only like six miles. I
went back out, put the nozzle in and start filling up.
Wait only waited to put forty bucks in the ship.
But the car that was sitting at the pump next
to me stayed there the whole time. That dude was
there when I pulled in. It was after I got

(42:22):
out when I looked at him, he looked dead in
the eyes. And I cannot because I didn't see it,
so I can't guarantee one hundred percent he did this,
But I feel like he took the nozzle out of
my car, stuck in his car, watched to see when
I was coming out of the bathroom inside, and then
just took the nozzle out of his car put it

(42:43):
back into my car. That's why I couldn't pump anymore,
you know, because I was the thirty six bucks. I
got a pump more, but it was already the transaction
was concluded on my credit card, so he got thirty
six bucks worth of free gas from me.

Speaker 3 (42:55):
Would the how would the pump reach to the other car?

Speaker 2 (42:59):
He was right now next to it. I saw it
was very because there was a long fucking cord, so
all you had to do is I was staggered a
little bit, so my my tank being back here, he
would take it out and just take it across the
the width of the island that the pumps are on,
or he could have stuck it into a side tank.

(43:21):
There was another car that was parts of the entrance
where there was somebody sitting in the back seat but
with their feet on the curb with the back door
open and shit, and it looked like they had a
container there. So it's just crazy, man Like. Most crime
is opportunistic, and it sounds like these cats are making
the opportunity where they're like people are on their way

(43:43):
from or to the airport and they gotta get gassed
or stop at this convenience to or and we can
grab their stuff when they do. It was a week
a weird feeling to be the victim of a crime
but not hurt in any sort of way, you know
what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (44:01):
Yeah, there's nothing you could really.

Speaker 2 (44:02):
Do about that, because I mean I could go to
the guy and be like, did you but they would
not steal my gag. It just sounds ridiculous. Well, yes,
I here ninety eight percent that's what happened. I bet
you if I I see the fucking security footage, that's
what it would have showed. Really, So when I was
driving home, I was like, how do I feel about this?

(44:26):
I said, Wow, nobody likes to be taking advantage of
the ship. But you know, I know it's hard out
there right now, and you know, thirty six bucks sucks,
But that'll teach me. As your mom said, to never
walk away from the car. So every day's school day,
and that lesson cost me thirty six dollars.

Speaker 3 (44:49):
Sounds like you learned a lesson today.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
It's valuable. I want to find that guy and be like, thanks, buddy,
thank you so much.

Speaker 3 (44:57):
I learned something.

Speaker 1 (44:59):
I learned something from or crime, crime does pay.

Speaker 3 (45:04):
That that's what we want you all to walk away
with today.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
Do you know what title I was trying to remember
before when I was saying, like, you know, Will Wilkins,
I couldn't hear the volume title because I listened to
the entire show, and I was like, what was it
that I said that In the moment when I said it,
in the back of my head, I was like, Oh,
this will be a great fucking title. What it is?

Speaker 1 (45:29):
Why would anyone help them?

Speaker 3 (45:34):
I told somebody that story.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
I was.

Speaker 3 (45:38):
I told Nick that story because I was like, can
you just imagine living in a time when you're seeing
the first film of its kind of the first film
of this genre.

Speaker 2 (45:49):
She was like a caveman watching their first movie, like
just believing it, like up at the screen and ship
when trolley comes their way or whatever. God, yeah, it
is kind of fascinating. If you could say it to
her now, next when you see her after this, when
you say good night, be like, well help them. She'll

(46:10):
be like, you don't understand. It was very real.

Speaker 3 (46:15):
You're very lucky to have been a part of such
cool time.

Speaker 2 (46:20):
No, I'm very bro She was so scared that night.
I'm very lucky. Shouldn't slip my throat and hers because
she was just so pissed scared.

Speaker 1 (46:25):
She was like, he's facing the wall. Why would help them?

Speaker 3 (46:30):
Oh my god, we're talking. Did we say that we're
talking about.

Speaker 2 (46:35):
The blur Witch project. We were last week? Yeah? Just
to be clear, Ay, listeners from last week tune back
in unless one of them dropped and there are two
of them, like we remember, keV. I've met quite a
few people along the way, Like when I've been out
in the world who no beardless stick was. I mean,

(46:55):
I should be selling way more dick With shirts, is
what I'm saying. You're not working hard, busy buying bowl
winkle shirts and ship like that, and you'd be selling
dickl With shirts.

Speaker 3 (47:03):
So I was just trying to make you happy.

Speaker 2 (47:05):
It made me so happy that I was like, I
have your bowl ankle sweater that about for you online.
It's just dry cleaned. I had a dry clean.

Speaker 7 (47:12):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (47:14):
Mom was just like, you're not gonna have this dry clean.
I was like, well, I assume they wash it. She's like,
don't assume. She's like anything you buy an eBay people
could fucking shit on. Come on, I'm like, who the
fuck are you? What horrible fucking nether world do you
live in where everybody's like, they won this doll, so
you know what to do with it? Put this in post.

Speaker 3 (47:38):
Good nightmare or who won it?

Speaker 2 (47:40):
Kevin Smith? Give me that and then wipes his ass
with it and be like put it in the post.

Speaker 3 (47:44):
My god.

Speaker 2 (47:45):
But on the sweater, I was like, you know, she
was like, you should get all these just stuff that
was stuff, bowlinkles, dry clean. I was like, I'm not
gonna fucking do that. I don't sleep with them. They're
sitting on a fucking shelf. They could have might and
I was like, well, they're going to fucking die because
those might live on She's like the dogs. I was like,
would you leave me alone? But I'm not going to

(48:07):
get them all dray clean. But I did get your
sweater dry clean.

Speaker 3 (48:10):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (48:10):
Because after the whole after she threw examples of what
people do with things, she's like, you don't know, she goes,
I listened to True Crime. It's like, what fucking janky
ass podcast you listened to with a crime? As a
dude came on a fucking stopped animal and then sold
it on eBay. I hate this.

Speaker 3 (48:27):
I hate this. I just couldn't hate it more. And
you can keep the swater, thank you.

Speaker 2 (48:34):
No, the sweater's been dry clean. And I also had
I got a U for Christmas. I guess they did
like a Santa hat bowing clamps in it at Universal Studio.
So I got that and I put on my head
and then your mom like vomited. She was like, you're
gonna put on your fucking head and you didn't have
a drunk lene. I was like, is that where all
my money's gone. Dry cleaning. You guys, there's been a

(48:57):
lot of dry cleaning over the years.

Speaker 3 (48:58):
You really dry clean a lot.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
She drag cleans everything, every single piece of clothing. She'll
take her thong, underwear clean, can easy going to wash.
Now she does not, but she does dry clean and
ship like drag cleaning in the world I came from,
like happened once a year. Maybe, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (49:19):
I never dry clean stuff now that I pay for it.
When I lived here and could throw some things in
the drug cleaning bag truly.

Speaker 2 (49:30):
Still damn. Yeah, she's uh, she's a bit of a
drag clean and freak.

Speaker 3 (49:39):
Exposed.

Speaker 2 (49:41):
Yeah. I was like at first, I was going to say,
I've talked about it before. The place where we get
our drag clean done, it's called Milton Needs, Yeah, and
it's very famous place out here in the valley that's
been around forever and ship. They're open seven days a
week and they're open usually to twenty four hours, except

(50:02):
I went there on a Saturday at nine o'clock and
they were not open. They were closed. They closed at
nine o Saturday, which, to be fair, it's like they're like, hey,
can we have our weekend please, it's so true. But
pre COVID they were twenty four seven three sixty five.

Speaker 3 (50:15):
That's crazy nuts.

Speaker 2 (50:16):
So they are five days a week, they're twenty four hours,
but the weekends I think they're like you know, they
close at nine and open at nine or some shit.
They for themselves like a little bit of time, as
they should. So I went over there to get your
fucking sweater clean, and I arrived at nine oh two oh.

(50:38):
I was locked out.

Speaker 3 (50:41):
You got to respect the media hours.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
Didn't raise a fucking voice. I didn't. I didn't like
look in the window like a fucking hungry waif.

Speaker 3 (50:51):
I mean you can't, No, you can't, and drove away.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
But they're fucking phenomenal service. I know you don't listen
to beerless stickless me for dry cleaning reviews, but but
if you needed one, pretty fucking fire, here you go.

Speaker 3 (51:14):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (51:15):
No fights other than that fucking Dylan Murry.

Speaker 3 (51:19):
Physically. No, this is the boy that I punched on
the ski slopes and that you don't get at my gym.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
No, I don't blocked and I don't remember what. Uh
do you ever want to punch somebody? The last person
you wanted to punch but you were like, I don't
do that. I don't punch people. If I could, I
wanted to punch his motherfucker.

Speaker 3 (51:35):
There are a few people take a spling at Yeah,
if I could, But I'm not like I don't don't
like people. You know, Oh people I know? Oh oh
people I know. Oh yeah, No, I can think of
one for sure.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
Maybe like excuse me through something your eye?

Speaker 1 (52:00):
Do you punch me?

Speaker 2 (52:02):
And would you punch and run? Or punch and stand there?
Like come on, anotherfucker?

Speaker 1 (52:07):
You want more?

Speaker 2 (52:08):
Who would you punch and like run away?

Speaker 3 (52:10):
Like not he but just like I don't want to
get punched back, I probably run away.

Speaker 2 (52:15):
You run, I might run, punch and run and ship,
I might run. I might be what did I do? Will? No? Really,
I think you'd lose it punch and then be like
like a like a dog that bites the owner, and
then it's like, what did I do?

Speaker 3 (52:27):
I'm so sorry, But I'm not punching anybody. We don't
condone punching here on beardless, stickless me.

Speaker 2 (52:36):
Is that right?

Speaker 3 (52:36):
We don't.

Speaker 2 (52:38):
We don't A good punch the only way to communicate
your thoughts. No, I'm not. I got jelly arms. And
ship a punch. In my life, I have bad dreams,
like nightmares where like I hit somebody with all the
force I possibly can and they're like, you're kidding.

Speaker 3 (52:53):
I have nightmares like that too.

Speaker 2 (52:55):
It must be a dream of powerlessness, must like, yeah,
equate to some cycle conditions.

Speaker 3 (53:01):
I'll kick as hard as I can and it won't
do anything. Yeah, that's a scary one.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
It is where you're just like, oh my god, I
have not even made an impact.

Speaker 3 (53:12):
That's a real scary one.

Speaker 2 (53:13):
Like I'll wind up as sorry as I can, and
it's just like kids, I'm still out on the road.
If you want to go see Dogma with me, go
to dog Mo movie dot com dog mamovie dot com
for tickets. Dogma comes out everywhere June fifth. And let's
see what is it? Now? This is two to three episodes?

(53:36):
How many of we record the other day? Three?

Speaker 3 (53:38):
Two?

Speaker 2 (53:39):
We recorded two. This would be the third, so that
means the last one. My first one went up last week,
so there would be the one week. I don't know.
I'm gonna wait till the next episode to say the thing.
Oh yeah, yeah, because I'm not quite sure when they announced.

Speaker 3 (53:56):
Yeah you should yeah, So I'll.

Speaker 2 (53:58):
Hold on to it. But there's a cool thing that
I want to share with y'all, and if you come
back next episode, I'll share it. Don't forget, kids, that
Kevin Smith Club is the only place to watch Beardless
Stickless me. And if you're sitting there going like it's
boring as fuck to listen to, why would I want

(54:18):
to watch you too? Idiots fucking say these stupid things
to each other. Well, then you could join that Kevin
Smith Club and find out what all the hubbubs about.
Not only do you get beardlistick was me to watch?
Not only did you get our after show which we're
about to go record Beardless Stickless Plus which I'll be
honest with you, that's the fire show. That's the fire one,
as in, that's the show we should burn because it's

(54:40):
so useless. But you get to see and hear more
of the Beardless Stickless that's when we really come alive.
Yeah on, Once we're done with the fucking once we're
done sucking on the Iheartteat, that's when.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
We let our hair down and party over that can club.

Speaker 2 (55:02):
Oh my god, kids, keep sucking that iHeart Tea. Please
keep your feet on the ground and keep sucking that.
I heart tea. Do you know who Casey case is?

Speaker 3 (55:13):
Who is I don't know, but it sounds familiar.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
Aside from being the voice of Shaggy like Zoid Scoob
and the voice of Robin on Super Friends, for my generation,
he was the voice of American Top forty.

Speaker 1 (55:27):
We're counting down the Biggest Tits number fourteen.

Speaker 3 (55:32):
Nice.

Speaker 2 (55:33):
Every Sunday morning he would do, like the Top forty countdown.
It's like a four hour fucking show. And you know,
sometimes they played a full song, sometimes just a little clip.
They'd be like, and now it's time for a long
distance dedication. Dear Casey, my name is Bob. Many years
ago I met a girl named Gloria, and we were

(55:56):
each other's hearts. We spend every day together, laughing, going
out to movies, having dinner. She knew my family, I
knew hers. Everything was going along well, Casey. Sometimes in life,
when everything is perfect, you find a way to mess
it up. And Gloria and I split apart. We've both

(56:18):
had separate lives gone on. I've lost touch with her,
but still I'll always remember her as the girl who
changed my life, my brown eyed girl. So Casey, would
you play the Rolling Stone no, Van Morrison's Brown Eyed
Girl for Gloria, just so if she's out there, she
might know that I'm still thinking about her and she

(56:38):
still means the world. Love Bob, Bob, here's your long
distance medication. And then they play the song Wow. Yeah,
as long as this is ocasion was fire because there
was always something about fucker writing a letter where you're like, oh,
and like, honestly, eight times out of ten it was
gut wrenchingly emotional and shit. And then they always like,
so would you please play and then play this fucking song?

(57:00):
And you were like, because they just told you something
really fucking.

Speaker 3 (57:04):
Emotional, are you gonna cry?

Speaker 2 (57:06):
I was gonna emotional thinking about it. Then I'm a
little glassy. I spent an an ordinate amount of my
childhood listening to American Top forty. Like that was the
thing that my brother and sister passed on to me.
We didn't have cable TV. We'd have the internet, fucking
damn sure, and shit like that. So on Sundays like
that was a big thing. So they can go into

(57:26):
school the next day and be like, ooh, I heard
this and shit. So I was forced to listen to
it from a young age. But for a lot of
people of a certain age, the voice of Casey Casey,
aside of course from being shaggy, takes them right too.
First it was American Top forty, and then it was
Casey's Top forty or something like that, and then they

(57:48):
went and did American Top forty without him with somebody else.
But then he was so well branded and that voice
was so well known that he it was Casey's Top forty,
and shit, fuck America. That's what I'm not what I'm saying.
That's what Casey Casum said, right, the late great Casey

(58:08):
case meant you don't Did you even watch TRL when
you were a kid? Total Request Live was a countdown show?
Any part of your life you missed out.

Speaker 3 (58:20):
I missed out on a lot of cool things I did,
like all the nineties. Yeah, well not all.

Speaker 2 (58:24):
You were there at the Bury Tale end the last
six months of the nineties. You were there.

Speaker 3 (58:30):
That's all that matters.

Speaker 2 (58:31):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying. You don't remember it.
You were like drooling and ship, but you were there.
So true, kids, you have fun today this week You're like, no,
not really.

Speaker 3 (58:45):
You got a dry cleaning.

Speaker 2 (58:47):
Yeah, built News, don't forget, not even sponsored. They got
a lot of airtime.

Speaker 3 (58:53):
Them for like five minutes.

Speaker 2 (58:54):
And did people like this show is really just you're
no Joe Rogan. That's right. We don't have whack jobs on.
We just talked to each other about really mundane ship.
Miltonies closes at nine on Saturday. Did you know that.

Speaker 1 (59:11):
I live a fucking Florida Give a ship? Go back
to telling jokes.

Speaker 3 (59:16):
They're really the best though.

Speaker 2 (59:17):
The man.

Speaker 1 (59:20):
Kids still out on the road.

Speaker 2 (59:24):
Come see meat or Dogma. What do you got to sell?

Speaker 3 (59:29):
Cinnamon the band? The band? We have two songs out
and the Spice is a good one. We have Star
and we have why out now streaming everywhere?

Speaker 2 (59:43):
And uh where can they get one of them sweet
Dickla shirts?

Speaker 3 (59:46):
You can go right on over to beardlessticklesmee dot com.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
Is that what they is? They're listening for it there?
Look you mean you're sending I don't think I've ever
seen an ad for the shirt over there? Really?

Speaker 3 (01:00:00):
Oh shit?

Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
I mean don't you think you would have continued getting
sales if there was some ad public That's a good point.

Speaker 3 (01:00:08):
Actually, you said the.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
Last week going you'll be buying shirts.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
Nobody knows they exist, know that?

Speaker 3 (01:00:13):
Oh oh oh oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
Perhaps I've been wasted on my own petard.

Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
Oh oh no, it's there where it's on beardless sticklessmeat
dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
We're at the bottom.

Speaker 3 (01:00:27):
You can go on over to this little side thing
and it says merch.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
What the fuck you guys searching for? There is no
like full clickable ad Wilkers.

Speaker 3 (01:00:38):
There's a lot of pictures of us.

Speaker 2 (01:00:40):
Meet George Jetson. Then at the meet Will Wilkins. Did
you I played TV theme songs with your mom for
a little while today. I was very impressed by how
many she got. Oh really yeah, but I'm thinking you
couldn't do it because your generation and have TV theme song.

Speaker 3 (01:01:01):
Yeah, like if I said, miss I miss a TV
theme song.

Speaker 2 (01:01:06):
We're moving on up to the east side.

Speaker 1 (01:01:12):
No mm hmm to a deep that's up now in
the sky. We're moving on up, moving on up to
the east side. We finally got a piece of the pie.

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
Fuck you're young, I'm your child, I know, but in
your generations and grow up with the same same reruns
as we did. That's the jefferson Son theme song to
the Jeffersons. Means, don't burn in the kitchen brings, don't
burn on the grill. Took a whole lot of try

(01:01:53):
and just to get up at you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
Now we're all getting out to hear that back.

Speaker 3 (01:02:02):
No one in this room likes this.

Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
Him singing the Jeffersons again.

Speaker 3 (01:02:08):
Pretty just looked at you all.

Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
Right before I start singing more sick coming. Audience is like,
do that?

Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
Never mind, Milt Needies sing more ship.

Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
Fuck. Oh they didn't have a theme song for Milt Needy.

Speaker 3 (01:02:23):
They should.

Speaker 4 (01:02:25):
It was it?

Speaker 2 (01:02:25):
I think it went like I panked you, bully.

Speaker 4 (01:02:31):
Gag and put you boys and can't put me back.
Don't put your boys, bunch you boys.

Speaker 3 (01:02:43):
It's time to go.

Speaker 2 (01:02:45):
It's time to get off the beardless for this week.
Beardless stick. Let's me have Kevin spick beardless. You fucking
look get that hair sticking out of my head.

Speaker 3 (01:03:02):
I noticed, but I never had an opportunity to speak.

Speaker 1 (01:03:05):
I'm sitting here just battling alone.

Speaker 2 (01:03:09):
You can literally interrupt me at any time to be like,
you know how stupid you sound, you look even worse.
Fix your fucking hat. Thank god it looked before I
ended the show, so I can end with a little
fucking dignity and a little respect. There's your beardless stickless
me for this week. Before I go, one thing. Appreciate
you wearing that shut for bedless stickles, ma'am Kevin Smith.

(01:03:36):
So have a beardless, dickless day.

Speaker 8 (01:03:47):
This has been a podcast production, some podcast podcast using
our mouths on you since two thousand and seven. Hey kids,
did you like you just heard?

Speaker 2 (01:04:00):
Well, guess what.

Speaker 8 (01:04:01):
We've got tons more man thousands of hours of podcasts
waiting for you at that kevinsmithclub dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:04:08):
Go sign up now.