“The World’s Most Punchable Face”

Kevin is accused of Seuss-ian rhymes and Harley talks trends and Labubu. PLUS: A live show update!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:26):
To beard less Dick, lets meet only a few more times.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
I'm Kevin Smith and I'm Harley Quinn Smith.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
All right, we've been missing in action for a while,
and I'll be honest with you. Once we got the ship,
can note from my heart all sense of like, well,
we got to hit our deadlines like so crazy, like
working for something as if we were employees, and then
we got fired like we were employees and we were

(00:54):
never fucking employees. So yeah, they started being like, uh, well,
I've got a thing to do where we can record, and.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
I'm like, when you're fired, you don't really have the
same motivation or urgency.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
There's just a sense of, you know, we'll get to
it when we get get to it. Now. The audience
is like fuck you guys, but it's like, amen, we.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
We have tried I think two times before this, from
last episode to now. I've come over with.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
The intention of recording, and then things just went awry.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
Mostly we played pinball.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
What there's been a lot of pinball play. You're talking
to your mike, Hello, you're good. There's been a lot
of pinball play. She ain't fucking lying. But there's also
been a lot of laughs. There have been a lot
of love.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
I think Pop went to the hospital at one point.
That is true. Byron went to the emergency room last week,
so we didn't record. Then life got in the way. Man,
sometimes life give us a break. Speaking of life, life,
and when last we spoke, we told you about the
first ever and last ever Beardless Dickless Me Live at

(02:20):
Spodcastle Cinemas. It was supposed to be in the first
July fifth, but that is not true happening. We moved it.
I I'd been on the road for first the Oral
Sex Tour, then the dog Man Resurrection toyed them back
on the Oral Sex Tour, and I had some things
to I had to write and stuff, so I was like,

(02:41):
you know what, how about we just do this like
for my birthdays. Yeah, so we moved it August third,
Beardless Dickless Me Live, which is a bummer too because
we'd sold like sixty tickets already. I know, well, hopefully
those same sixt evil by either that or we get

(03:03):
them enough time to come to their senses and they're like.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
What wait, how much money did I see?

Speaker 1 (03:07):
I never mind these fools, so.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
Don't forget about the five dollars Yokahs are screening, right, man.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
Fucking well remembered. What if August third, kids, you could
go see Beardless Dickless Me live at Michus Cinemas. Kevin Smith,
Harley Quinn Smith fucking cutting up doing the uh the
a girl and her dad kind of thing, and Steven

(03:36):
at the movie theater is ready to do.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
To play the Crucible, the Crucible, give me my name.
You're not gonna want to miss.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
This now fucking see man.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
And your only chance to see it.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
What if you played an acoustic set, just you on bass, singing,
accompanying yourself.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
To be wars nightmare.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Boom, you scare me, boom boom boom. Sit there, you.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
Crab walk in and out repeatedly while the whole set.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
Goes on, and then I'm like freestyle boom and then
you crab walk faster. It's haunting star anymore? A stroke
is this count of cinnamon? The band is really the band.
It's just you and.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
Your riff and your dad's grab walk.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
No one song, but you can play bass.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
I can't believe bass.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
So who's your bass player?

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Well a question the role switches off. We have yet
to play our first live show.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
I had your opportunity to do It's Mydcast of Cinemas
and was flying out turned down.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
Okay, that is because we don't have the funds to
fly our asses out there and get our equipment out there.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
What equipment we use? Some local shit. I'll get you
a like a.

Speaker 3 (05:14):
Tom Tom bucking and some sticks.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
Hell yeah, man, No, of course we would love to
play there, but it would be an expense that we
do not have the money to pay.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
Fair enough, man, everybody understands that hard to make a
buck in America these days. My god, all right, so
there's the new However, hold on yoga hosers after that
on August thirty.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
Oh yeah, sure, five bucks, come on, you can do it.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
That up, you do it? People, be like, I'll pass
up on beardless dicklus me and just do the fucking
yogass for five bucks or ten bucks with a pin
exclusives Pdcastle Collector's Pin.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
Okay, but another thing, Yes, Cinnamon does have our first
show September twenty seventh in Los Angeles.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
In the City of Angels where.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
The City of angel is, where Permanent Records Roadhouse.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
Permanent Records Roadhouse, Yes, and where is that?

Speaker 2 (06:22):
I don't want to say for sure, because I it's
here in Los Angeles, I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 (06:28):
And are you are on the east side a bill
with others with others?

Speaker 2 (06:33):
Oh my god, I'm sure the audience is dying to
know how bu is doing.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
I'm sure they're like spend months fucking forget who's Who's bill? Silent?
But wait, so who else is on the bill?

Speaker 2 (06:55):
Another band by the name.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
Of Cinnamon, because that'd be awesome.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
Cinnamon and cin.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
Cinnamon, and then whoever it fucking wins the fight is
the Cinnamon?

Speaker 2 (07:06):
Oh my god?

Speaker 1 (07:07):
There was The other band has to be called the
Fuckholes forevermore if they live.

Speaker 2 (07:13):
Do you remember our name before Cinnamon that we did
have to abandon because there was already a band of.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
The same name, which or something like that, Wench wench.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
Yeah, this the band we are playing with. I hope
that I am pronouncing their name right. Drove Drove, you
say Drove Drove. Oh, they make very good tunes. I
just don't know how to pronounce your name.

Speaker 1 (07:45):
I ain't going to that live show man, I'll go
when you are fucking Are you opening for a band
or is Drove opening for you?

Speaker 2 (07:53):
They're opening for us.

Speaker 1 (07:55):
So I ain't gone into the band that I like
is the opening act and what may that be Cockswallow
hottest band in La. Oh wow, I don't have a
favorite band. I mean, I'm glad you're into and shit,
but my music is rough on me. I can't eat

(08:16):
the lyrics. Only here's the whining, fucking instruments, and I'm like,
I'm there to hear the words. Wow, that's why I
like that Star song because it's like music, music, music,
no music, you scim me and I could hear that
perfectly clear, and I can understand this. I don't want
to have to go to the lyrics and be like,
that's what they're saying. I saw somebody today being critical

(08:39):
of I was scrolling through Instagram and I guess Will
Smith recently stepped up to the plate. Will Smith, you know,
was a rapper at one point and stuff as well.
I first know him and ship Fresh Prince DJ's Jazzy
Jeff and the Fresh Prince. So he was doing some
pre styling and yeah, it was questionable because he uh,

(09:00):
you know, was there was a Chris Rock efforts and
it's just like, oh my god, dude, read the room.

Speaker 4 (09:07):
Let it go.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
In the Instagram comment, somebody was just like, where's the
Chris Rock wins button? But somebody said, you know about
his rhymes are very old school, so it's like I'm
gonna use the word read and then I'm gonna use

(09:30):
the word dead as opposed to you know, the brilliance
of whatever Kendrick Lamar is doing right yeah, which is
what most people are currently listening to music are now
accustomed to. The bar has been raised, thank you. So
someone's comment made me go like oh, but then made

(09:53):
me go like, oh my god, I'm so like I
could be easily targeted for the same criticism, and the
criticism was what's with this doctor seuss rhyme scheme shit
meaning like dead and red? Like I ain't cutting him more.

(10:14):
It's just like you know, Chris Rock and I used
to like not make fun of, but laugh about run
dmc Kings of rock. There is none higher. But you know,
the things I do make me a star and you
could be two. If you know who you are, just

(10:35):
put your mind to it, You'll go real far and
the next thing you know, you'll have a big car.
I mean, for us back in the day, that was
fucking like fire number one. I love those lyrics and
have lived my life by them.

Speaker 2 (10:48):
There would be no no crazy rhymes of today without.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
And before simply good advice. Make you a star and
you can be too if you know who you are,
just put your mind to it, you'll go real far
and the next thing you know, you'll have a big car.
There's also a variation where you saying, like the pedal
to the metal while you're driving a car. But me

(11:15):
and Rock would always kind of laugh at and the
next thing you know, you'll have a big car.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
I mean sound advice, sound.

Speaker 1 (11:22):
Advice, but not exactly Eminem level. No, but rhyme scheming.
But again we didn't give a shit. Like when I
was a kid, I wasn't like these rhymes need to
be more complicated? Are you kidding me? I was like,
I was just delighted they rhyme true.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
There's a video of Eminem saying that he can pretty
much make anything rhyme.

Speaker 1 (11:43):
I don't doubt that, and then he.

Speaker 2 (11:45):
Does it and he was not wrong. Facts and it
was kind of facts.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
But that being said, yeah, the doctor Susie and rhyme scheme.
I'm not saying I like the rap that Will Smith did,
but I did come of age in an era when
the rhyme schemes were very basic. So I'm I I'm

(12:14):
I'm not saying I like that more than whatever they're
doing today. But the music you grew up listening to
is the music that you listen to for the rest
of your life.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
And you are a big old fan of eighties music.
But also there are there aren't so much of current
rap and hip hop has current references of things that
words that didn't weren't thrown around at the beginning of.

Speaker 1 (12:47):
Like tell us white girl, all right, I'll just shut up. No,
like woke somebody wouldn't be right, I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
That, I'm saying like for a fucking instance, in on
a Lizzo's new song, she references a la boo boo,
which I just asked.

Speaker 3 (13:05):
You if you knew what it was said.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
No, I was saying, is run DMC wasn't referencing a
laboo boo.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
Good point. I got scared when she told me what
a laboooo was, because I was like, oh my god,
pop culture keeps happening and I can't even fucking keep up.
Then she showed me what a la boo boo was
and I felt okay for not knowing. I was like, oh,
this is a fucking this banie babies again, this fucking
cabbage patch again, and shipped somebody get rich. God bless them.

(13:36):
But like, I ain't missing anything by It's a real.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
Big thing, is it. I'm not interested in having a
lab boo boo. If one comes my way, will accept it,
but I'm not going to sequin out.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
Yeah, I feel you. I backed that play, but it is.

Speaker 2 (13:55):
Many people feel differently.

Speaker 1 (14:00):
If it was called boo boola foo, would that be different? Yeah,
that's what we used to call you when you were
a kid, and you're a baby boo boo boola foo.
If only I turned you into an ugly, furry little
doll and sold it. I know what's the gimmick here.
They're all different.

Speaker 3 (14:15):
They come in a.

Speaker 2 (14:16):
Blind box, so you don't know which one you're gonna
get unless you buy it on a resale for thousands
of dollars for a rare la boo boo.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
When you say rare like made of gold, made of
the cure for cancer, may.

Speaker 2 (14:30):
Just wearing different outfits.

Speaker 1 (14:32):
Oh we won't get food again. I've been living too
long to fall for that shit.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
Ever again, You're going to see them everywhere now that
I've told you what it is, I'd.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Be like, there's a la booo, there's a boo boo.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
Their on person. Everyone puts them on.

Speaker 1 (14:49):
A purse, do men litle boo boo as well?

Speaker 3 (14:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (14:52):
Everyone?

Speaker 1 (14:53):
Where do they put theirs? If not a purse on
their man.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
Purse, a purse on their know, belt chain.

Speaker 1 (15:02):
You're just looking down on what that's called. I know
guys got a la boobo on his dicks. Fucked up man,
but he makes it work.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
The key chain, belt chain.

Speaker 1 (15:13):
Um, all right, enough about me fucking not knowing what
some trendy shit is.

Speaker 2 (15:21):
Yeah, get trolled ass out of here.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
I know.

Speaker 2 (15:24):
That's why iHeartRadio Fire does.

Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yeah, no doubt. I was just like, you're bringing her down,
old man. Know, somebody got to put your finger on
a pulse. You don't even know what laboobu is, and
do was sitting there swinging one off his finger.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
Somebody recently commented on my Instagram and said that my
voice makes the podcast unlistenable, and I said, if it's unlistenable,
maybe you don't listen to it. Problem solve.

Speaker 1 (15:51):
He's like that's what I said.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
No, he was like, I want to listen to it
because I want to hear what your dad is saying.
But you make it unlistenable.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
Oh well, that Kevin Smith Club. There's a Hartley less
version of the podcast that you can always listen to.
It's just my voice and then we drop her out.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
So rude to me? You mean so rude during pinball?
Now he's fucking coming at me again. He's calling me,
what were you call me? Gutter bolshmitdty good ball Shmidty.
So fucking rude after you already posted a video on
your Instagram and me playing fucking pinball for the world
to see.

Speaker 3 (16:25):
I'm a double flipper.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
Why is that matter?

Speaker 2 (16:27):
Because a lot of people had something to say about it.

Speaker 1 (16:30):
I'm glad I didn't post my game they didn't see me.
But to be fair, I don't double, don't double, No,
I kind of go independently, and so we need you. Well.
I learned how to drive on a stick shift, did you, Yeah,
a manual, not the automatic world you grew up in.
So I feel like that helps? Is that?

Speaker 2 (16:52):
So, old man Schmidty?

Speaker 1 (16:57):
I told the story before. I's tell again real quick. No,
A chess team when I was in high school, and
we went like on our first competitive game and I
was sent across from the kid and like having like
a good time just talking and stuff. And it was like,
you know when you play chess as a little clock
that you push the button and stuff, and so you

(17:19):
play until you move, make or move, and then he
pushed the button that stops your time starts the other
person's time, and so you know, again sat down, chit
chatted before the game again, and then was chit chatting
as we played the game. And five moves into the
game I lost. He won. He was like checkmate, and

(17:42):
I was like, what, I'm sorry he had won? And uh,
I think it was Danny Hapstack. No, Carl Roth left
me a note in my locker that said, five moves, Schmidty,
teach us.

Speaker 2 (17:56):
How to play chess, taking your trauma out on me
or something.

Speaker 1 (18:03):
Projecting perhaps gutter ball Schmitty. If I have to be
fire with Schmitty, it makes sense that my daughter was
Gutnerball Schmitty.

Speaker 3 (18:12):
It was my destiny.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
Yeah, it was bound to happen.

Speaker 5 (18:16):
You couldn't escape it, you all, right, Last time we
met before when we dropped the fucking news that our
hearts like, move on, what else you got?

Speaker 1 (18:28):
They even asked that. They weren't even like, hey, would
you like to do it?

Speaker 2 (18:31):
They were just like man's like getting repectfully over.

Speaker 1 (18:38):
Fuck out. Yeah, we were talking. We talked about can
We didn't talk about Espana.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
I don't think we made it there, but you did.

Speaker 6 (18:50):
I did.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
Harley, when we were in Europe a lifetime ago, went
to Spain. After we went to cam Me and Jen
flew home, Harley went to Spain.

Speaker 2 (18:59):
Well with Spain, like, wow, Thain was amazing. They had
so much vegan food. France, as we know, had little
to offer in the vegan department.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
Yeah, except they did have meat reimagined.

Speaker 2 (19:15):
Of course, and the oat bell G sixty burger say
it in the French accent.

Speaker 1 (19:23):
It would be a Gil sixty's.

Speaker 2 (19:29):
But Spain had just unlimited amount of vegan options and
it had the most gorgeous architecture I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
And we've like, do you ever notice architecture?

Speaker 2 (19:42):
Not really unless it's so breathtaking, like the architecture of
Barcelona the first.

Speaker 1 (19:50):
Time in your life you're like, that's fucking nice.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
I mean I noticed, I actually do I do notice architecture,
do you. Yeah. I was actually walking down the street
today with my friend being it's a cute building.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
Almost ran into the building.

Speaker 7 (20:05):
Is nice.

Speaker 2 (20:10):
We went to Barcelona and we went to Florid and
I described the biggest difference as at the tourist shops
in Barcelona. At every store they had shirts that would
say like I heart I heart Mills, I heart.

Speaker 1 (20:36):
Radio, all of them.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
I don't want to say about it. I heart farting.
My biggest regret of this trip and my only regard.
I was going to give it. I was going to
get it and give it to you. You you fart
more than anyone I know.

Speaker 1 (20:56):
But I don't heart it. I don't heart to fart
you too far. I watched to love to fart like,
I'm like this rocks, but better out than in Walkey today.
Farted so loud she turned and looked at her ass.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
Yeah, they let them like did you hear that?

Speaker 1 (21:14):
I was like, I know, she's a gassy laught.

Speaker 2 (21:18):
But the tourist shops in Barcelona seem to have a
real sense of humor.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
In Baron in what way in the in the.

Speaker 2 (21:27):
Way that they were they were like all these shirts
with naughty sayings on them and stuff and yeah, for example,
I don't want to say, but I heart fill in
the blank, I heart Mills, I heart sex, I heart.

Speaker 1 (21:41):
You're offended by that? You the daughter of fucking Kevin Smith.

Speaker 3 (21:45):
I don't want to say it to my father.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
It's like I heard cock I heart cut.

Speaker 2 (21:49):
Yeah, there you go, there you go.

Speaker 1 (21:51):
So wait, That's that was Barcelona.

Speaker 2 (21:54):
In every single tourist shop there were these shirts and
I kept being like, I'll catch them on the next
time because I wanted to get you the iHeart farting shirt.
I wanted to get my band members. Some of the
other options would have been amazing.

Speaker 1 (22:08):
If you brought me home a shirt said iHeart pussy,
gave it to me a friend of your mom, and
you were like, I just this is what I think.
Simply when I saw this, I like just what I
thought of. I was like, this is so Dad. Why
Mom was like yeah, why.

Speaker 2 (22:29):
I No, the iHeart farting was for you. But I
kept pushing it off because I thought, well, I could
always get it in Madrid. I'm sure it will be
the same type of thing. Madrid.

Speaker 1 (22:40):
Different world totally. It's a different words, much more than
Barth alone.

Speaker 2 (22:48):
Barcelona had a sense of humor. They ha haha.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
I had to find that funny, so I said, no
trial to work hard for the money. You call me
a freak. Please don't even try. It sounds a slice
of pizza, and be quiet. She almost got cut swort,
you know scissors. She tried to disrespect who the grand
wizard me? What your name's air mc rickode. But not
to be so harsh. I said to Mona, Lisa, I'm sorry,
and I know that's a little class. Please tell me

(23:14):
a little something about your past. She said, well, I'm well,
I'm seeing I haven't been to college, but I got
crazy knowledge over eighteen in miles are green. I wear
my gold than the man on the eighteen slim trim,
and I'm also light skinned. Best believe Mona is a virgin.

(23:37):
A virgin honey needed a slap. She chudged something, she's
a virgin with the thing like that, I said, it
don't matter. See I'm not picky. Let me spend my
name out for you. It's Ricky, a ravishing I impressed,
see courageous, so careless, cag the kangos that I got
that I wear every day and why why not to fight?

(23:57):
That's to fight. It's not right. As I recite tonight,
I'm quite polite, like Walter Cronkite.

Speaker 2 (24:03):
Where when does Great Scott? Are you a thief?

Speaker 1 (24:07):
Where are we going? It was one of those days,
not much to do. I was chilling down town. My
mouth's cool crew. I walked into this store to buy
a slice of pizza. Walked into a girl name is Mona? What? Mona? Lisa? Mona?
Lisa's some men name you? You know what I'm saying.
So I said, excuse me, dear my god, you look nice.

(24:28):
Put away that money. I'll buy that slie. She said, thanks,
but I'd rather a slice of you. I'm just kidding,
but that's awfully nice of you. The compliment showed she
had a mind in her and when I smiling, I
almost blinded her. She said, Great Scott, are you a thief?
Seems like you have a mouthful of gold teeth. Ha
ha ha. Have to find that funny. So I said, no, child,
to work out for the money you call them in

(24:50):
please don't even try. And so just slice of pizza.
Renb me quiet, thank you? Wo How do we get
there from?

Speaker 2 (25:02):
Ha ha ha oh yes, of course Barcelona.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
Bartholon was the one in question, saying ha ha, I
don't know any Spanish songs like consweko solo and ship
like that. But every time I want to do a song,
it's it's more of a like a Mexican song, like
La cucaracha or something like that. They don't play like
cucaracha in Spain, do they.

Speaker 2 (25:25):
I'm not quite sure of the origins of La cucaracha
to be so honest with you, but I don't.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
Know about the origins. But while you were there, did
they do what's the music? Uh? You know like the music? Yes?
Did they do that in Spain? They or they like
Mariachi's what are we k mark? What do we tmu?

Speaker 7 (25:48):
Hey?

Speaker 1 (25:50):
What I'm saying like maybe the Spanish people like mariachi.
That's that's Mexican. We don't do that in.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
Spain, specifically Madrid. La manc oh flamenco music and flamenco dancing.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
Is that not something that is done in Mexico.

Speaker 2 (26:07):
I I don't know where else flamenco is I did
and one of it was supposed to be one of
the best in the world and it was beautiful it
was stunning.

Speaker 1 (26:19):
Do you think you could do it? No?

Speaker 2 (26:22):
No, with training, I don't think I could. Which part
there there's a guitar player. There are singers who are
singing so passionately and soulfully it sounds like they're almost
crying for a dancer. I could. I could never I could.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
Just do you think you could tap dance? That can
be taught. People tap all the time.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
Perhaps there's a world in which I could have been
a tap dancer.

Speaker 1 (26:49):
I need you to be a tap dancer, but like
you know, I got I got a birthday in a month.
You can save yourself a ton of money just bucking
take some tap lessons and be like, dad, this is
for you, and you lower the needle on the record.
It's like, and you like to do it?

Speaker 3 (27:13):
Yeah, come to the show.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
Yes, that'll fucking solid house out. They're like, I hear
his uncoordinated daughter's gonna tap dance live.

Speaker 2 (27:25):
He's been so rude to me tonight on my ass tonight.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
It's kind of like going to NASCAR, Like I just
want to see if the car crashes.

Speaker 2 (27:37):
Fuck you bro, so goddamn rude.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
I can have any leagh tap floor, can you? Yeah?
I'm just saying it can be done.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
I'm not even gonna respond further.

Speaker 1 (27:57):
Go back to your Spanish story.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
Yeah, if you would just shoot a fuck up, all right.
So anyways, I described the biggest difference between Barcelona and Madrid.
I felt I gathered from their stores, and there's opposite
to the stores in Barcelona. The stores and the tourist
stores in Madrid were soccer focused, Flamenco focused, and bowl focused,

(28:25):
whereas the ones in Barcelona where all iHeart fill in
the blank.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Shirts see Running of the Bulls is in Spain.

Speaker 2 (28:35):
Yeah, I believe.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
Now this is gonna be another dumb question. Did they
also do that in Mexico?

Speaker 2 (28:42):
I can't say, and I wouldn't assume they're the same.

Speaker 1 (28:48):
Cultures at all, but both speak Spanish, It's true. But
what I'm saying, and again I don't know much about
my American history is fucking terrible, let alone my world history.
But like, did just two people speak Spanish in two
different parts of the world, or did one part of
that world go to another part of that world and
that's how that world began? Like did Mexico? Did Mexico

(29:11):
come from Spain? This is where my world history is
really poor. Well my world history is worse the last school.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
But there are also other countries, Yes, that's what I'm saying,
like Spain and Mexico.

Speaker 1 (29:25):
But did it all start in one place and then
it spread out?

Speaker 2 (29:30):
I am not the one to answer these questions, and
I'm sure every person listening things were fucking stupid.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
Yeah, they don't have to think they can know for sure.
I know a lot about Kevin Smith, but when it
comes to world history, not at all the way that, like,
you know, they start they were speaking English and England,
and then they brought it over to America and then
everyone's like, yeah, we fucking speak American or whatever, and
it's like you're basically speaking English, and then Canada and

(29:59):
austri Like how someone's fucking language just infects.

Speaker 2 (30:04):
If they I understand the concept, I don't have an
answer for you trigger how the Spanish language spread throughout Mexico,
South America, in Spain.

Speaker 1 (30:17):
You know who would probably know who? Aunt Virginia.

Speaker 2 (30:20):
She'd want a caller. It's probably like one in the morning.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
It's one in the morning, she'd although she'd be thrilled.
She's like the only person listens to the show so
when she hears this, she's.

Speaker 2 (30:32):
Got a The only one who's gonna hear is being
fucking stupid.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
Well, people, anybody's sitting there going why did I hard
cancel them?

Speaker 3 (30:38):
The likewise, this is because they're fucking idiots.

Speaker 1 (30:41):
Shit, shit, I don't know, bro. I think the bar
for most podcasts pretty fucking low. It's still always a
series of people sitting around fucking talking about ship they
don't know shit about. So I think we're writing writ
in pocket. Yeah. I just feel like your thing as
your generation gets scared because you're like, I'm sure this

(31:03):
is offending somebody. If it offends anyone, what offends them
is our ignorance, and not our like non woke ignorance,
more just our general like who the fuck doesn't know that? Yeah,
kind of ignorance. But I'll be honest with you. At
high school, dropped out of college, and then it was

(31:25):
right to like into the Kevin Smith biz. So I've
been doing that longer than I was a real person.
So you'll excuse me for a nut for being stupid.

Speaker 2 (31:35):
Well, it wasn't that long ago. I didn't go to college.
My dad encouraged me not to.

Speaker 1 (31:44):
I did. I was like, you know what, man, fucking
so there's that place look up.

Speaker 2 (31:53):
But history in particular is my is my house worse?

Speaker 1 (31:59):
Is it more so than math? I'm not bad at math,
I'm not. I'm just asking. I wasn't saying you were
bad at math.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
Math and science were my favorite subjects and I completely
to know all of history.

Speaker 1 (32:12):
Bro. I would say, okay, what is it?

Speaker 2 (32:18):
Gutter bolshmidy, I.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
Entered did Mexico come? And then you know, I was hoping.
I was gonna type did Mexico come from Spain? Which
is a very basic, stupid question, Mexico come from Spain?
And then I was like, oh my god, how ignorant. However,
I couldn't even finish typing before it was the second

(32:40):
response in Google, and the answer, Yes, Mexico's history is
deeply intertwined with Spain. Mexico was colonized by Spain. That's
the fucking word I was looking for, Yes, becoming part
of the Spanish Empire known as New Spain. The colonial
period last did for three long centuries, from the early

(33:03):
sixteenth century until Mexico gained its independence from Spain in
eighteen twenty one. Wow, so I'm telling you man like
it sounds like, you know, hey, what the fuck? But
I don't know, I don't know how many people would
necessarily know that. I mean, obviously everyone in Mexican po.

(33:24):
But I mean it's that's people don't even know American
fucking history. Why would Americans know somebody else's history? You
know what I'm saying? Most Americans the only history they
know is like World War Two because of that History channel,
and everybody watches like fucking World War two docs and
shit because for some reason that still fascinates people about, like, hey, man,

(33:46):
we beat the Nazis. Meanwhile, it's like, yeah, well you're
not done, let's move on. I'm just saying, there's back
to work. AnyWho. We learned a thing or two about Spain.

Speaker 2 (34:04):
Yeah it was on a little did right here, a
little stupid getting there? Oh yeah, no we did.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
But you might learned a thing or two by being there.
I guess empirically.

Speaker 2 (34:13):
I I communicated in Spanish as much as I mean,
I definitely wouldn't say.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
I'm did you go into McDonald's and be like, can
I get a Sandy frasece.

Speaker 2 (34:26):
Let's sandy, Yeah, Sandy.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
That's how I say the Sunday, Sandy Fraysece, Oh my.

Speaker 2 (34:34):
Gosh, hellaro is ice cream or ice Yeah?

Speaker 1 (34:39):
But since ice cream, and since McDonald's don't make their
dairy product out of ice cream, it's a non dairy thing. Sandy,
you can't call it helato. You gotta say Sandy Fraysece.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
I didn't go into a McDonald's in Spain.

Speaker 1 (34:59):
I was I wouldn't go into it McDonald's in Spain.

Speaker 3 (35:05):
Today you're on one tonight. You're really fucking on one.

Speaker 1 (35:14):
Oh my god. I finished a big assignment today.

Speaker 2 (35:17):
That's why you're on one.

Speaker 1 (35:19):
I am. And it's one of those like if this,
don't do it.

Speaker 2 (35:24):
I've been trying to figure it out.

Speaker 1 (35:25):
It was never going to be done, so I did it.
I am a little disappointed myself, though, because I wanted
to take the dogs for a walk, but instead I
just took them to the dog park, which is nice
for them.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
But did you even put on Birdie's backpack?

Speaker 1 (35:39):
I did. I was desperate to take her ound, but
it was too hot to go walk in Then I
was like, I'll walk later. But then me Mom watched Thunderbolts,
which fucking my second time wonderful movie. One of them.
Marvel made a mental health movie. It's amazing. Really yeah,
so we watched that shit and then said name some

(36:00):
fucking kid bombed in during the post credits scene and
she had nearly ruined the fantastic poor shot for her mother,
which she was deeply invested in until you came in.

Speaker 3 (36:10):
Response was She's like, I give a fuck, why do
I care about this?

Speaker 1 (36:15):
To a response everything, I yeah, be happier. Never hear
when I'm watching a Marvel movie, because it's a series
of me pausing, going like, do you know that is well?

Speaker 2 (36:24):
And then oh my god, it be so annoyed.

Speaker 1 (36:26):
Well she she I don't know. I'm not gonna say
she likes it, but she finds it helpful.

Speaker 2 (36:30):
When Austin pauses or speaks during a watching of something.

Speaker 1 (36:36):
It irks me to know, what if there's information that
you're missing that he could then provide that will make
the story more because what if you're just lost? You're
like what the fuck? And he's like, pause, well, this
is what's happening.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
It's usually he wants to talk about it, like.

Speaker 1 (36:52):
Discuss the scene after it's over. Yes, and you into
that actor.

Speaker 2 (36:59):
I'm trying to watch the thing and instance a hired e.

Speaker 1 (37:03):
I We've just watched the latest season of The Bear,
which is just like an acting clinic and shit. And
that's a series of long scenes, just set pieces, and
you know, then they'll go to commercial I guess, but
I don't ever watch it on FX, but every time
they go to black or whatever, I'll fucking pause it
and be like, right, well, right to the combination of

(37:30):
really great writing and wonderful performances. Every one of those
fucking actors. You know it's mutually beneficial, right, but every
one of those actors fucking kiss that guy's asked Chris
Storer I think his name is. Oh, guy's just churning
out fucking cool ast scenes for them to do. Don't
even have to really connect all that much to the plot.

(37:53):
What plot, you know what I'm saying. But god damn it,
but as much as he's given him gold, they're over delivering.
Every one of them is just like knocking it out
the park. It's kind of beautiful to watch.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
Do you want to know what Austin and I have
been watching?

Speaker 1 (38:08):
Tell me yes. I mean, it's a wide world out there, everyone,
and narrow it down a little bit. Iron Heart because
I watched that as well. No spoilers Marvelle debut ay
shall we say devilish character?

Speaker 2 (38:29):
No, I would like to watch that. Though I saw clips.

Speaker 1 (38:31):
I thought it was a good watch. Has it's been
eating shit online or people have been like Iron Man,
It's like, no, it's iron Heart, Yeah exactly. I thought
it was cool for what it was. But again, I'm
a comic book person, which means I'm used to a
bunch of different creative folks, teams handling the same material,
the same character and shit. So it's like, if you

(38:53):
don't like this version, wait another one's coming and stuff
like that. But for me, I was like, it's a
cool story about somebody who another Iron Man suit I'm in,
and then they brought in cool or some other cool
ship that I was into. There's more Witchcraft in this one,
really witchcraft, bro, and more than that fucking oh old

(39:17):
scratch himself.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
You're selling me on it a kid?

Speaker 1 (39:20):
Well, I mean, and honestly, I don't even know if
it would mean as much to you, like if you
went in cold. But He's he's a very cool Marvel
character that for years people have been like, He's he's
the villain and WandaVision, and he wasn't. He's the villain
in this and he wasn't. And then fucking in this
one he is the one, and it was Sasha Baron Collin. Wow.

(39:44):
Really yeah, and he fucking tore it up. I mean
it's it's just scenery chewing, playing the devil. So he's
just you know, he did first he did like a
New York act, a New York accent. Then he did
like fucking Cockney British and should not even his own
British voice. It's pretty good, it's pretty good, pretty good.
But still you haven't told me what you're watching.

Speaker 2 (40:07):
Uh, this would be far.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
As far from iron.

Speaker 2 (40:14):
Fair enough, this would be a big disappointment to you.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
Oh bro, bro, don't don't Lord Savior servant, don't break
your father's heart by reference in some fucking we like
Chrisly or fucking selling Sunset or fucking no fucking Andy

(40:40):
Cohen fucking house pups.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
What ain't nothing wrong with Andy Coin?

Speaker 1 (40:46):
But what are you wasting your time with?

Speaker 2 (40:49):
I gotta hear it two words for you.

Speaker 1 (40:52):
Let's hear it. He love, oh fuck what?

Speaker 2 (40:58):
It comes out every what every day of the week.
It's in real time pretty much except for Wednesdays. It
comes out every single day show. Uh, Peacock makes the
Love Island USA, which is what's airing at the moment.

Speaker 1 (41:16):
Hold on, you have Peacock, Yeah, the free one, Like
you'll watch the commercials or you guys pay for Peacock.

Speaker 2 (41:27):
No, I pay for Peacock. Peacock's got all my favorite
shit on it.

Speaker 1 (41:30):
Oh that's where you're an office kid number one. So
it's like you and maybe fucking Steve Carell that have Peacock.

Speaker 2 (41:44):
You know everyone has Peacock now to watch Love Island?

Speaker 1 (41:48):
Is that right? Oh? Yeah, man, I fuck, I'm such
an old man. I am about to be fifty five,
I know, old piece of shit. The day before Beardless.

Speaker 2 (41:57):
Stick with Me live he becomes an old ass man fifty.

Speaker 1 (42:01):
Five fifty five kids, and uh, we're shooting a comedy
special at my movie theater, main movie.

Speaker 2 (42:09):
G can pick your main biging you bully, you come.

Speaker 1 (42:14):
Watch me turn fifty five and I'll make a giggle.
And then the next day people have shot.

Speaker 2 (42:19):
Tear me apartslas Lie be like, there she is, ladies,
there she is.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
There. Tap watch your fuck up.

Speaker 2 (42:33):
Oh my gosh, there's another TikTok trend behind.

Speaker 1 (42:39):
You as you tap people like this is the greatest
fucking use of twenty dollars I've ever spent in my life.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
Right now, there's a I just started using TikTok like it.
You know. I, well, I don't make any videos.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
I just watched them, but you had to get an
a counter watch them. Yes, the other day I went
looking for Cinnamon the band.

Speaker 2 (43:06):
I do believe we have an account. We have never
posted you.

Speaker 1 (43:10):
Nuts, the ticking and the dock, and that's that's what
the kids are doing. God, I sounded like fucking Bill
Cosby for a second. Oh God, please.

Speaker 6 (43:20):
Don't.

Speaker 2 (43:20):
Oh my god, so many too many things are gonna
get us both fucked.

Speaker 1 (43:24):
This episode, remember we're now we're Yeah, what is the
what do they call that? We're lame ducks, bitch like
this is us in the last few months of our presidency.

Speaker 3 (43:36):
Where a new person comes to take the part out.

Speaker 1 (43:40):
Which one lame ducks before that? Which part of the
impression the cos Yes, I wasn't flyingt izing the guy.
He's a horrible human bank, but you know I did
grow up listening to him in comedy, right. Anyways, that's
why I could do the voice.

Speaker 2 (44:02):
Anyway. So there's this TikTok trend right now where someone
will like speak to the camera and be like, my
son's going to show you his new drawing. You better
be nice, and then they'll be like, okay, come in.
And then the kid will come in and be like,
this is my drawing. I made it today, and then
the parent will be behind them and be like looking

(44:24):
at the camera like mm hmm, you better be nice.

Speaker 1 (44:28):
So to the viewer, yeah, to the viewer, is the
kid in on this?

Speaker 2 (44:33):
No, it's like them. They're not saying the word the
It's hard.

Speaker 3 (44:37):
It's hard to describe.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
Without showing you the parent. Once the kid comes in,
the parent is not saying anything.

Speaker 1 (44:43):
They're just interesting. Is the kid in on the gag?
Or is part of the bit that the kid don't
know I I do you need a kid to do this?

Speaker 2 (44:53):
No, it can be my husband just planted as strawberry free.
He's going to show you be nice, and I'll be like,
come here.

Speaker 1 (45:03):
So it's the trend is my blank did a thing,
He's going to show you be nice.

Speaker 2 (45:10):
And then the person stands behind.

Speaker 1 (45:13):
The person showing off whatever.

Speaker 2 (45:15):
So what I'm saying, is we can do this. You
just say, my daughter's going to show you her new
tap dancing and routine.

Speaker 3 (45:24):
You better be nice fair enough.

Speaker 2 (45:27):
Then I come in, I do it, and you stand
menacingly behind me.

Speaker 1 (45:31):
I like that. But that's that requires you to learn
tap dancing.

Speaker 2 (45:35):
I'm just saying, in this, in this scenario that I
learned tap dancing for your birthday, which I'm.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
Not going to second hand me hopeful, what could you
do that I could stand behind you? My daughter's gonna
my daughter jaws pinball.

Speaker 2 (45:54):
If she uses double flippers, you better be nice.

Speaker 1 (45:59):
Just put a pin in it real quick and just
address that. So I shot a video of Harley playing
the Joss pinball game. Stern Pinball gave me a Jaws
pinball game because I did a voice for the Dungeons
and Dragons pinball game. Pinball games nowadays, kids, if you
haven't been paying much attention, are very complex. They've got
videos in them. They talk a bunch of different voices

(46:21):
and shit. You can like fucking play on your phone,
like you can collect your game and play other places
so that your lifetime fucking tally grow. It's fucking crazy.
So in any event we got.

Speaker 2 (46:41):
Charles the pinball Machine.

Speaker 1 (46:42):
Yeah, but why was I telling that story?

Speaker 2 (46:44):
I don't know. Oh because of the video you put
up of me.

Speaker 1 (46:47):
Oh, there it is. So I shot a love video
of Harley playing pinball. And apparently there's a fucking thing
in the pinball community about using both flippers when you
don't have to just constantly double flipping as opposed to
handling each flipper independently.

Speaker 2 (47:06):
Made me look like a chump.

Speaker 1 (47:08):
I mean, number one, who knew, but I guess I
should have that the world has now so fucking tribal
that it's like, Bro, you're hitting the flippers both flippers.
What are you a fucking idiot?

Speaker 2 (47:27):
Like? Seriously, man, my god, if they think I'm.

Speaker 1 (47:32):
Like it ain't bad enough that. Like back in the day,
they were like, you don't know how to make a layup,
you don't know how to catch a ball, You're not
a frow ball. Fucking pinball was the great equalizer, man,
where anybody could fucking play that sport if you will.
And now finding out there's are like, you use both
flippers at the same time. What the fuck? How do you?

(47:55):
How'd you how'd you come of age in this fucking.

Speaker 2 (47:57):
World, man, fucking tough world out there, Like at least
I had like videos of me looking stupid out there and.

Speaker 3 (48:05):
Then putting a podcast out where we're questioning with Mexico
came from Spain.

Speaker 1 (48:10):
I thought we all learned something very.

Speaker 3 (48:13):
Like everybody knew that.

Speaker 1 (48:14):
I think everybody knew it, And I bet you there's
a lot of people that are going to be like,
you know what, I learned a new thing today. You
can't ask them now. They got to hear the show.

Speaker 2 (48:25):
I know I'm looking something else up.

Speaker 1 (48:27):
We're looking up.

Speaker 2 (48:29):
I'll tell you once I look it up.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
Did America come from England?

Speaker 2 (48:35):
Fuck you?

Speaker 1 (48:36):
That's when I wrote it. I'll make it fun of myself,
you touchy little thing.

Speaker 2 (48:40):
Yes, there are mariachi bands in Spain.

Speaker 1 (48:43):
Oh is that right now? I'll see if they're a flamenco.
Is there a flamenco scene in Mexico? Which probably is there.

Speaker 2 (48:52):
We're trying to educate ourselves.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
I know we're getting smart. Every day is a school day,
Harley Quinn, you're smart? How'd you get so smart? Reading?

Speaker 6 (49:03):
Yay?

Speaker 2 (49:03):
Just waiting for you to look at me because I
was staring at you yet.

Speaker 3 (49:07):
Oh no, it's not.

Speaker 1 (49:09):
It doesn't cross over culture.

Speaker 2 (49:10):
Oh well I did. I did type flamenco. But the
answer the Internet gave me was, yes, there are flamingos
in Mexico, and then a photo of all the flamingos.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
Number one floating in the water. I didn't know that.
That's to me, all the flamingos were in fucking Florida
as far as I knew. So that's fucking useful information.
Every day is a school day if you let it be.
What about and you don't get what you want out
of life? You get what you negotiate for.

Speaker 2 (49:43):
Is there? Yes, flamenco music is present and popular in Mexico.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
That's not as interesting as finding out that I already
lost it. When do we just find out that? I
was like, that's fucking interesting.

Speaker 2 (49:55):
That there are flamingos.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
Yeah, yeah, man, that's good. Come to me one day.
The next time somebody says flamingo, I'm gonna be like,
did you know that there are flamingos in Spain? In Spain?

Speaker 2 (50:08):
No, no, in Mexico.

Speaker 1 (50:09):
In Mexico.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
I mean, I'm sure there's maybe some in Spain too,
but these are the flamingos in Mexico.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
I guess that sounds impressive to me because like, Mexico
is not that far from Florida, so you would imagine
a flamingo they could fly, so maybe he would make
its way or she would make her way over to Mexico.
But of flamingo in Spain, can you look at it.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
In the Yucatan Peninsula in Spain, No one Mexico are
because flamingos in Spain is a fucking killer band title.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
Never mind sent them in the band. I'm telling you
right now, Flamingo's in Spain. Everyone's listening. Those are fucking
fun words.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
Yes, there are flamingos in Spain. Specifically, the Greater Flamingo
is found in various locations, particularly in the southern regions,
including Fuente de Piedro Lagoon.

Speaker 1 (50:56):
That's the accent you were over there working I was,
They're like, okay, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (51:02):
Would you pronounce the thing at McDonald's one more time
for me?

Speaker 1 (51:05):
Sandy fra that point, ma'am, I.

Speaker 2 (51:14):
Was very excited for the opportunity to go to a
country where I could communicate in a different language. How
and I was gonna I usually feel embarrassed about trying
to speak Spanish because I don't want. I don't want
to sound stupid because I'm not. I don't fully I don't.

(51:39):
My grammar's not there, language and my accents is not there.

Speaker 1 (51:44):
I didn't know if Mexico came from Spain.

Speaker 2 (51:48):
I didn't know that either.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
But I really never had a Sandy I don't.

Speaker 2 (51:54):
I really wanted to try in Spain, and you did,
and it sounds like you succeeded.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
I try, Harley Quinn succeeds.

Speaker 2 (52:01):
I communicated all my dietary restrictions in Spanish.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
In Spain, Oh is that right? Yes? No leche no,
no wave no, No, that's French. What do they call them?
No huavos?

Speaker 2 (52:19):
How do you say it in French? It looks like
it's spelled.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
Woof oofs, oofs, oofs waves. I don't know. I don't
even know if I'm signing it correct.

Speaker 2 (52:31):
Anyways, there are flamingos, I guess, in Spain.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
And Mexico, Flamingos in Spain. If your band is named
Flamingos in Spain, you're already being inducted into the Rock
and Roll Hall of Fame in year one of your career.
It's in the first six months of your career because
people like.

Speaker 2 (52:50):
Firefucking name singer Flamingos in Spain song, oh my God,
thank you.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
Let me think I wanted to.

Speaker 2 (52:57):
Give you the opportunity. Make it good, make it respectful.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
I mean respect I don't know. They're not even from Spain.
It's just like I like, you know, like the band Kansas,
you know, dust in the Wind from Kansas. So this
don't have to be a Spanish band, but the name
Flamingos from Spain. Flmingos in Spain from Spain, Flamingos in Spain. Yeah,

(53:26):
much better. Okay, Flamingos in Spain. What's their first chart
topping hit, Oh I know tell me I love you
but fuck off? Yeah, look at you. Instantly you were like,

(53:47):
well I love that song. You giggled because you're like,
that's a fun song. Who wouldn't respond to that song?
Remember they did that song years ago. The guy got canceled,
fuck you fuck you. So if you can pull that off,
I love you, but fuck off, that's a sentiment everyone
fucking understands, and it's just naughty enough for people to say.
And you wouldn't actually, you know, on radio, they would

(54:09):
kind of they take, you know, with the C and
the kout so off, and then you'd hear the on
Spotify or wherever the fuck you listen to your streaming music,
you would hear the uncut version of it, I love you,
but fuck off, and it goes like this.

Speaker 6 (54:32):
I won't apologize for bad behavior. I won't be your
fucking behavior.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
I love you, but fuck off. Okay, the course I
fell a party, But the fucking what are the lyrics
going into the chorus? The first ones that.

Speaker 2 (54:47):
I did well with, they didn't stick in my mind.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
No, I'm not saying repeat them. But what would you
call those? Oh part of the chorus?

Speaker 2 (54:55):
Well, I'm not sure what you were going for. Was
that the beginning of the song?

Speaker 1 (54:59):
Or of course? Fucking were we dipped in and like
a minute half into the song? Of course? Though? Is
the thing that repeats, right, yes?

Speaker 2 (55:07):
And then a verse usually leads into them. The instrumental
will repeat with different lyrics.

Speaker 1 (55:13):
And then there's a hook which is not a hook, breakdown,
which is like, oh, this is not part of anything
you've heard before, but it fits into the song as
a bridge. A bridge, Yes, I would say these are
all terms of art. Every day's a school day.

Speaker 2 (55:31):
We're both learning a lot.

Speaker 1 (55:32):
Yea I am. I mean you knew that, ship, but
I fucking just learned a bunch of music terms.

Speaker 2 (55:38):
I'm more referencing the flamingos in Mexico and Spain.

Speaker 1 (55:41):
But I won't apologize for bad behavior. I will never
play your fucking savior. I love you, Na the fuck
hold on, but fuck right off. Yeah there you go.

(56:02):
You need it right in there.

Speaker 2 (56:04):
M a banger top ten.

Speaker 1 (56:08):
I didin't say it goes number one. I mean, don't
take us two singles to get there, but the first
one lands in the top ten. And it's a huge,
fucking like wedding and.

Speaker 2 (56:18):
Prom song that makes sense.

Speaker 1 (56:21):
People love to singing in a group and Ship cut.
The fucking DJ turns the music down for the buff
fuck off part and everybody screams at it, my fuck
right off, and then they're like whoa, and he turns
the music back up, and everybody's Sometimes DJ's a girl,
she turns the music back up. Ship. Sometimes DJ neither
man nor a woman. They turn the music back up. Shit. See,

(56:41):
I'm covering all bases.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
This whole episode needs to be canned the way.

Speaker 1 (56:53):
This is the greatest episode ever canon, Like, finally, these fuckers, man,
they're not holding the civil tongue. They're just fucking given
the straight poop, the straight poop, this poop. All right,
are you done with Spain?

Speaker 2 (57:12):
I'll just say it was probably my favorite place.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
I've ever been, So then I guess the answer is,
you're not done with Spain. You'll never be done with Spain.

Speaker 2 (57:19):
I will never. I can't wait to go back. There
is a very iconic church in Barcelona called Lesa Grata Familia,
and it is been a work in progress since the
since eighteen something, and it is supposed to be finished

(57:42):
next year. So I would really like to go back
to see it when it's done.

Speaker 1 (57:48):
What word word meaning?

Speaker 2 (57:51):
Yeah, oh yeah, facts, there you go.

Speaker 1 (57:59):
I just want I wanna point out that my rhyme
scheme for that fucking.

Speaker 2 (58:04):
Song not very doctor sus not doctor fucking what.

Speaker 1 (58:07):
Are you not? Fucking savior and and and behavior behavior,
behavior and savior. That's more complicated than than the next thing.
You know, you'll have a big car that's like a
Google Dolls level rhyme. I could totally be.

Speaker 2 (58:25):
Degree are better than run DMCs rhymes.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
Not my rhymes. That one rhyme was stronger than the
next thing.

Speaker 3 (58:37):
To my heroes, He's the king of rock.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
With the kings of rock, they told me to be
a better person. I can believe in myself if two
guys from all the Squeeze give me kings of rock,
that I could be anything. And you know what they say?
Then you talk too much? Whoah boy, you never shut up.

Speaker 3 (59:07):
That's why I feel about you every day.

Speaker 1 (59:09):
Talk too much. You talk about people you don't even know.
Then you talk about places you never go. See what
I'm saying. Fucking behavior and Zigger is a much more complex, right.
But I wasn't saying I'm not a hip hop artist.

(59:31):
That's just me writing lyrics I put myself.

Speaker 2 (59:34):
Kevin Smith claims he's the newest and best of hip
hop artist.

Speaker 1 (59:39):
I'm just saying I'm at least that that lyric is
Googo dolls worthy.

Speaker 4 (59:47):
Think about all the time. I don't need the same
sloanely where you are, come back down, I won't tell
him your name. Come on, man, my fucking savior and behavior.

Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
Mid Oh to be called mid by twenty something, someone
in her mid twenties, take that beak from out my heart.
Oh shit, call me cringe before you call me mid mid.
I built a perfectly acceptable career out of.

Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
Mid less than mid.

Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
Oh oh it hurts.

Speaker 3 (01:00:38):
You know what's above mid peak?

Speaker 1 (01:00:42):
This guy, the little ceramic thing you made, it's above mid.
I mean this guy, I see him, I see him.
How many gallery shows have you had? Strong work? A

(01:01:04):
mistress of sculptures, Harley Quinn.

Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
Smith, My daughter's going to show you her ceramic piece
from when she was five. You better be nice.

Speaker 1 (01:01:14):
Wait what is it? What it's meant to be? A cat? Right?
I mean it's got to be a cat.

Speaker 2 (01:01:20):
I believe that one's a cat. I can't speak for
this one.

Speaker 1 (01:01:26):
A I just have a tail.

Speaker 3 (01:01:28):
It's got something.

Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
I think it's meant to be a cat? Or are
they meant to be dogs? Have more cat?

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
Like that one's giving cat?

Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
This one cat, this one's giving. Perhaps you should play
sports kids. Are you enjoying Beardless? Stick with me? No
as much as Harley this week? I hate this episode

(01:02:00):
the greatest episode of all time. If you're liking Beard
listickless may, if you're working your way through Harley's voice,
like that one guy who's like, I'm desperate to listen
to Kevin I just have to listen to her let
to get there.

Speaker 2 (01:02:12):
You couldn't say anything worse to me than that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
I know you really hurt her heart. Man, you heard
her heart.

Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
I know my voice is weird.

Speaker 1 (01:02:19):
I get it. Do you think your voice is weird,
because because it is.

Speaker 2 (01:02:23):
I know it's weird. My voice is very is very different.

Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
I disagree.

Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
My voice is definitely weird, especially my non acting voice.

Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
It is powerful, it's personable. Booh shoot.

Speaker 2 (01:02:35):
I think.

Speaker 1 (01:02:37):
If you like the show, fucking get as much, soak
it in.

Speaker 2 (01:02:42):
We're really making the last ones count. There's only three left,
and one of them is a live show.

Speaker 1 (01:02:49):
I think there's three and then the live show. No,
there is now because this is the first week of July.

Speaker 2 (01:02:55):
Oh, we're going to do one every week.

Speaker 1 (01:02:59):
We used to back when you treated this seriously. Yeah,
you also, we got to sound fucking tickets to the show,
So we're gonna do it and beg people to come
and fucking watch the show. Line. Are you anywhere in
the Tristate area, anywhere near New Jersey? Are you in
New York, Pennsylvania, Vermont, Maine?

Speaker 2 (01:03:19):
You want a road trip up for Last Beardless Stickless.

Speaker 1 (01:03:22):
Me Live Ontario. Uh, Quebec, Wow, Uh, Florida.

Speaker 3 (01:03:28):
You're asking a lot of people.

Speaker 1 (01:03:30):
Now, Arkansas, Oh my god, Wendy, City of Chicago. These
are all places, and in those places live people, and
in those people who live a desire to hear live
podcasting from a father daughter team, a girl and her dad, beardless,
stickless me live for the first time and last time

(01:03:52):
ever August. There are tickets at c spot dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:03:56):
Do you think we'll announce the other thing the other
thing at the live show.

Speaker 1 (01:04:01):
No, I don't think we'll make it that far. I
think we'll wind up talking about it next week.

Speaker 3 (01:04:06):
No can No, Yeah, why what what do we hold
that for for the live show?

Speaker 1 (01:04:14):
Oh? You think that like the teasing that good people
are gonna want to be there.

Speaker 2 (01:04:18):
It's a big announcement, like.

Speaker 1 (01:04:20):
Great, I'll hear it when they post it. Who knows
if we'll ever even post. Oh we we do. We
post all the time. Yeah, come see it live. You're
gonna want to go because she's right, we're gonna say something.
We're gonna be like.

Speaker 2 (01:04:35):
Oh, your last opportunity to buy.

Speaker 1 (01:04:41):
I will be on stage before Harley gets on stage.
I'm gonna tell the audience. My daughter is about to
show you her first year list. Picklest me live. You
better be you better be nice about it.

Speaker 3 (01:04:53):
I look up the stage and then you stand behind
me like this.

Speaker 1 (01:04:56):
Yeah, the whole time you're talking, we went to Madrid
and then behind her.

Speaker 3 (01:05:03):
That's what the videos are.

Speaker 2 (01:05:04):
Literally got one, then there's another one. This is an
older and older trend. The videos that were like, something
will happen and I won't say it, but there will
be signs. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Speaker 1 (01:05:24):
I just realized there are shots for two different sizes.

Speaker 2 (01:05:27):
Did you hear what I said?

Speaker 1 (01:05:29):
There were signs?

Speaker 2 (01:05:31):
Yeah, that there will be signed.

Speaker 1 (01:05:34):
Portents.

Speaker 2 (01:05:36):
Are you familiar with that trend? That there will be signs? Trend?

Speaker 1 (01:05:40):
No, tell me.

Speaker 2 (01:05:42):
It's it's empty.

Speaker 1 (01:05:44):
It really is.

Speaker 2 (01:05:47):
Well, I just think you should make a TikTok where
you're like, I'm gonna go insane.

Speaker 4 (01:05:53):
I won't.

Speaker 2 (01:05:53):
I won't say when I go insane, but there will
be signs. I'm gonna lose it, and there will be signs.
And then it goes to your Bullwinkle collection.

Speaker 1 (01:06:05):
Oh is that right? Yeah, that's a sign that I'm
losing it. I mean, why, I guess you know what
next episode. I'll talk about some Bullwinkle stuff too. I
got lots of stuff to share. I got things. Doc
is sure I'm smart.

Speaker 2 (01:06:29):
I'm so scared for this episode to come out.

Speaker 1 (01:06:32):
Why because people are going to be because I heart's
going to be like, that's it, You're canceled. You can't
do it twice.

Speaker 2 (01:06:38):
Because I already have an unlistenable voice to one cat.
Multiple people have said that I saw somebody in.

Speaker 1 (01:06:45):
The comments recently said their only comment about my video
was the world's most punishable face. Now I know that's
not true. I know there are far more punchable people
than meet you in your step. See the respect to

(01:07:26):
that random commenter who tried to hurt me. Congratulations you
made the day with the girl whose voice you hate.

Speaker 2 (01:07:35):
That was the same Probably, No, that's the guy who
said that about me loves you.

Speaker 3 (01:07:40):
He made that clear. He wanted to listen to you.

Speaker 2 (01:07:42):
He just didn't want me.

Speaker 1 (01:07:43):
To be a part of it. And he can't listen
to just me that Kevin Smith club Beard listen Harley
less me. It's the same show with Harley's volume dropped out.

Speaker 2 (01:07:59):
Oh my god, I honestly I would prefer that for
this episode, he said, my voice was so awkward that
it was unlistenable.

Speaker 1 (01:08:06):
Awkward. Yeah, that's number one. That's like crazy, but it
does kind of lean into your like fucking oh my voice,
So you know, it would be like me being like
somebody being like, you know, Clerks three ain't as good
as Clerks. I'm like, what, like, I'm a hair trigger
about that. I think you're kind of hair triggered about

(01:08:30):
the voice thing because you're sensitive to it, because deep
inside you're like my voice and like a deep inside
I was like about Clerk's three.

Speaker 2 (01:08:38):
Yeah, you're right, those are two really similar.

Speaker 1 (01:08:42):
It's every I have to process most of life through
a clerksy imprisoner. Life comes down to two eras BC.

Speaker 4 (01:08:53):
And a d.

Speaker 1 (01:08:56):
God. Where are those done? Well, I'm happy to share
them with the Horley BC.

Speaker 2 (01:09:03):
Before Clerks and ad Ad after Dogma, After Dante, Oh,
I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 (01:09:11):
After Dogma, that's your mom comes into the picture nineteen
ninety nine, After Dogma. She comes in while Dogma's happening, Espy.
She was so like into the Dogma tour and going
to can and stuff. She's like, why become part of
this story? It's like when I watch like a mini
series that takes place over decades, and when they finally
hit the seventies like mad Men. I love Madmen, And

(01:09:33):
when they finally hit the seventies, I was like, oh
my god, I'm alive. Wow, I'm a part of mad Men.
We're trying to sell me shit. Like at one point
they talked about Underdog and I was like, I watched Underdog.

Speaker 7 (01:09:44):
I can relate, And now it's even more important to me.

Speaker 1 (01:09:52):
I am a Kevin Smith fan. I have to make
up for the most punishable face people fuck. Otherwise I'd
wake up every day try to fucking end it, and
I know I gotta make it just one more day
so that mister he's got the most punishable fucking face.
It's just like, Oh, I hate you laugh to awfully hard.

(01:10:22):
I'm gonna go look at that comment and make sure
it didn't come from your account, your new TikTok account.

Speaker 2 (01:10:28):
My version of the you better be nice TikTok is
my dad's gonna talk about clerks for the thousand times,
no the five millions times. You better be fucking noise.
So I made this movie in the nineties, well.

Speaker 1 (01:10:44):
Not for nothing, but I did put a dent and
so made my mark first time out of the gate.

Speaker 2 (01:10:53):
Behind you like mm hmmm, yeah, have you seen the
Holy fucking air Ball?

Speaker 1 (01:11:12):
No, that's another no. I don't like follow trends and ship.
I don't watch more bid facts. Yeah no, and uh
I DK Sterling, the guy who's like, you know, like
hey apple, what then he explains the videos and ship.
I like that guy, And I was just thinking tonight
because I watched another one with him. He's just so

(01:11:37):
like like standard issue salt of the Earth guy. He
reminds me of Michael Bellicose, like a dude who's like
just a dude, but not a dude who's like hey,
brow but just like the guy that everybody gets along
with and ship. Although I would say Michael Belco is
probably a little more I mean, I can't say he's

(01:11:57):
more charming, but at least as presented in the videodeos.
But I like this guy's delivery. It's very matter of fact,
and he's always fucking teaching, always breaking down a video
and being like this is not true, but if it was,
this would be this, Like there's a video of this
fucking guy who's like, oh my god, he's windsurfing and
he's on this fucking booie and it says on the

(01:12:19):
fucking screen he found Point Nemo and we know what
Point Nemo is. And so this guy idk Sterling will
come on after the video is over and then debunk
it and be like this did not happen to Point Nemo,
if if this was at Point and then he explains
the history of Point Nemo and how fucking far away
it is and how like you would die, you couldn't
you couldn't get there, and shit like that.

Speaker 2 (01:12:41):
I see. I like that guy's videos proving facts. Yeah, yeah,
it's true.

Speaker 1 (01:12:48):
Yeah yeah he is. And it's always like little self
contained stories and shit like that. That's my kind of guy.
What are you looking at him? Technoko?

Speaker 2 (01:13:00):
Why don't actually follow anyone on TikTok?

Speaker 1 (01:13:03):
I know what do you love? When I.

Speaker 6 (01:13:10):
I?

Speaker 1 (01:13:11):
Yeah, I do, watch like this is my favorite band.
It's like I don't need to fucking say I forgot my.

Speaker 2 (01:13:18):
Lyrics behavior, Thank you Behavior. I feel really insecure that
Mexico and.

Speaker 1 (01:13:29):
Spain of it all. Why, I think it's great ship.
I think that's the most interesting thing. Kidding me, man,
most Americans don't know American history, let alone world history.
So I think we did a service. We taught things.

Speaker 2 (01:13:43):
I was way better at science, all right, so.

Speaker 1 (01:13:46):
Say something scientific before we get out of here, Adam?
Is that what you said? I said, closet, There you go,
particles each two sides. My kid's smart, my kid's gonna

(01:14:07):
get on here, and about science.

Speaker 7 (01:14:10):
So you better be nice, particles.

Speaker 1 (01:14:21):
Kids. This particle of the episode is over, which means
the whole episode's over. Man, did you like this week's
beardless stickless me? The countdown is on? It's like when
Seinfeld was ending. Man, there's like there's only four episodes left.
It's exactly like it feels just I was therefore they

(01:14:41):
that happened while we were shooting Dogma. So I remember
the end of Seinfeld and it was exactly like this.
I'll have you know. The whole world was paying attention,
just like they are now.

Speaker 2 (01:14:52):
And virgin.

Speaker 1 (01:14:56):
Watching h beardless stick lets make kids. There's a version
without commercials and ship and you can actually watch it
at that Kevinsmith club dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:15:06):
I think that's why we got fired, No way, not
in the least. I or maybe we just got fired
because we have zero agenda and talk about.

Speaker 1 (01:15:18):
I just think they couldn't sell ads on our backs
and ship because one of us was like no no, no,
no no no no no no no no no yes
no no no no no no no no no no
no maybe, and so there was a very thin ad category,
and which I'm all for, man, I'm all for fucking
limiting the amount of you know what commercials are?

Speaker 2 (01:15:40):
I want a fucking beef commercial on our show.

Speaker 1 (01:15:42):
No no you don't, No, no, no, you don't.

Speaker 2 (01:15:46):
I really don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:15:48):
Others not so much because most people just fire through
the commercials anyway. But I like your ethics, like where
your head is and ship? Thanks? Yeah, good, head on
your shoulders.

Speaker 2 (01:16:00):
May be stupid, but.

Speaker 1 (01:16:02):
I wouldn't say stupid by any sense stretching the imagination.
But you you know, business is not the first thing
you care about. That's good. That's a good thing.

Speaker 2 (01:16:14):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:16:14):
Yeah, you're better man than I am. Gunga Din.

Speaker 2 (01:16:19):
I'm not a man, but thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:16:20):
Those are That's the last lines from the book Gunga Din,
written by Believe Rudyard Kipling. Why would I know that
you weren't forced to read Gungadin in school? No maye?
Because you guys. Weren't all girls school, they were like
fucking make them read about this whole story is about dudes.

(01:16:42):
Did you have to read a lot of dude literary
books while you were in all girls school? Or were
they like read uh, you know the fucking Hester print book.
That's good for you, read uh, and the Green Gables
that's good for you. Read you know a little miss
like all female Warriors, all female warrens and literary stuff.

(01:17:05):
Or did you read shit that was like Robinson Crusoe,
my fucking book that's literally about a dude and another
dude and that's it.

Speaker 2 (01:17:16):
Didn't read that?

Speaker 1 (01:17:17):
Yeah? Good?

Speaker 2 (01:17:19):
Honestly, on the Western Front.

Speaker 1 (01:17:21):
A bunch of dudes going to war. Maybe they write
some letters home to their wives or girlfriends. You read
that better man than I am. Gungadin. I didn't read
that ship. To be fair, I didn't read Gungadin either.
I only know that line from the Mister Magoo version
of the cartoon. Oh my god, mister Magoo. They did

(01:17:51):
a series of Mister McGoo did literary classics, And honestly,
most of what I know about literature in literary classics
comes from the Mister Magoo tellings of them when mister
Macgoo was inserted as a character somewhere in the narrative,
for example, sirrah No de bergerac he is syrah No.

(01:18:13):
They made him the guy who's like what lark beyond
window breaks? And then in Gunga Din he was controversially
Gunga Den, who was an Indian character, so naturally you
wouldn't do that today. And when I say Indian, I
mean from India because it takes place during the British

(01:18:34):
Occupation War and stuff like that. So he didn't sound
the way Gungaden's supposed to sound. He sounded like mister
Macgoo was like, how about some narche fresh water.

Speaker 2 (01:18:46):
I think this is more canceled with cancelable.

Speaker 1 (01:18:50):
Mistergo's old white man. Nobody's canceling us. Oh my god,
mister McGoo literally looks like pop. So you get canceled
by the likes of pop. Look like, don't know what, God,
I failed as a father. She didn't know something else
tonight either.

Speaker 2 (01:19:05):
Oh don't say it, please say, oh my god.

Speaker 1 (01:19:07):
He does exactly like Pop. You've done it again.

Speaker 2 (01:19:12):
Please don't say it, don't please? Yeah, well, okay, fine,
whatever I already didn't know.

Speaker 1 (01:19:18):
About exactly know what the fuck. I made a reference
tonight where I was like, and that's how we get
to sky Net and she was like and Jim was like,
you're damn right, and Harley was like, it was like,
what's ky Net? And we were like, oh my god,

(01:19:39):
we failed as parents.

Speaker 3 (01:19:40):
You've said that multiple times tonight.

Speaker 1 (01:19:44):
Failed his parents. Make me feel good over the stupidest
ship though over like we didn't show her Terminator. Obviously,
that's it's okay. It's a facetious overstatement of a comment.
Clearly we succeeded as parents because it's such an amazing kid.
But for someone who is a pop culturist like myself,
the fact that you didn't see Terminator is all on me.

(01:20:08):
Let alone, Terminator too. And then your mom, you know,
was like Terminator too, that got a lady with muscles
in it. You heard her go ham on that. She
was just like, oh, oh, oh, Magoo, you've done it again.
The Three Musketeers also mister McGoo version. Trying to think

(01:20:29):
what else I remember from the Magoo version, the Crucible, Magoo,
give me back my name, You've done it again, This catchphrase,
oh Magoo, you've done it again. Now I gotta hear

(01:20:50):
it now, I gotta find it. Mister magoo fucks no
catch raise, oh magoo.

Speaker 3 (01:21:07):
Oh my god, mister.

Speaker 1 (01:21:13):
Oh my god, there's a fucking twenty nineteen version of
mister McGoo. They're still trying this ship years later.

Speaker 3 (01:21:21):
Oh my god, on.

Speaker 1 (01:21:24):
The twenty nineteen mister, mister McGoo, mister Mcgooh, you've done
it again. All right, there we go. No, no, no,

(01:21:48):
I can't. We can't play the whole thing. We'll get
fucking sued or something. But I want to get to them.
Does he say.

Speaker 2 (01:21:57):
No, he doesn't miss mgoo catch phrase?

Speaker 1 (01:22:01):
I did, and it gave me that, and then I did, Oh,
here we go. Here's one.

Speaker 2 (01:22:09):
My dad's going to show you a mister mcgo clips.

Speaker 1 (01:22:18):
My father's going to show you mister better be nice, dad,
you be excited. Well Magoo, you have done it again.
I uh, I look forward to the last few episodes.

(01:22:44):
Every one of them will be totally different. Next one
is gonna be a real sad one. But we tell
sad stories, try to make each other cry to the
point where you're like, can we talk about magoogle game?

Speaker 3 (01:22:57):
Please bring back and the guy that called me and listenable.

Speaker 1 (01:23:01):
Oh magoo, got magoo? Fuck? You don't gotta listen to that.
There it is, because there is your third, fourth to
last beardless stickless mate. Appreciate them all like fucking snowflakes,
because they're going to melt away and never come back.

Speaker 2 (01:23:20):
Well, I thought you were going to say, because each
one is different.

Speaker 1 (01:23:23):
Not too and special for as beardless stickless me for
this week for uh for beardless stickless.

Speaker 2 (01:23:32):
Ma'm Kevin Smith and I'm Harley Quinn Smith.

Speaker 1 (01:23:34):
You go have yourself and don't forget to switch over
to that Kevin Smith Club for beardless, stickless, plush, beardless
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(01:23:58):
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