Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist,
and speaker.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
And I'm Sarah Hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician,
writer and course creator. We are two working parents who
love our careers and our families.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about
how real women manage work, family, and time for fun.
From figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals.
We want you to get the most out of life.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura. This
episode is airing in early ish mid September. We're going
to be playing a little.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Game of would you rather meet people who have maybe
school age children have probably experienced a version of this,
maybe on a Laren car trip. Or you're asking questions
of which weird or gross thing your kids would rather experience? Sarah,
do your kids play this game?
Speaker 3 (01:08):
I think I learned it from my kids. They love
the following format of question, would you do this disgusting,
horrible thing or be suffering in some way? Or I die,
meaning like the kid dies, because I think they like
hearing the lengths I would go to to save their life,
and so I have to envision myself living out all
(01:31):
these nightmares, but my children get to live another day.
So that's the variation. We tend to play a little morbid, Yeah,
a little bit, a little bit morbid.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
When we decided to do this, I started looking through
a bunch of the lists of these online like, so,
a bunch of online websites have published like a list
of one hundred would you rather questions? And I very
clearly saw that many of these would you rather questions
are perhaps more about the person writing the question, or
(02:02):
I guess your perspective, than anything else. So I mean,
one that had my kids laughing for a while is
would you rather have zero children or six children? Which
I found it funny that our family is like so
close to what's considered the extreme. On the other end,
that like or like, who would have thought, like no
(02:22):
one would have.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
That many kids?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Like that would be crazy? So zero or six? I
guess that's the question. There was another one. It says
would you rather get a stomach bug in the middle
of a date you thought was going well or go
on a double date with your parents?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
I'm like, are your parents that bad?
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Are your parents that bad?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I mean, I guess this was somebody who was writing
this had issues with their parents. Apparently that they thought
this would that like vomiting in the middle of the
date would be equivalent to having dinner with their parents.
That's fascinating. I hope their parents did not discover this
online article. I'm happy to report with my kids were
(03:06):
happy to have dinner with me.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
In that situation.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
They chose that.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
And then another common theme of them is would you
rather give a speech in front of X number of
people or do why? Terrible thing? And I'm like, come on, people,
speaking is not that bad.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
It's like you people really hate speaking. Some people feel
the same way about speaking that like you or I
might feel about like diving off a cliff into shark
infested waters. I mean personally, I feel like.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
At all, like diving off a cliff into sharping tested
waters is like dangerous. Whereas you know, that's speaking in
front of a group is just a skill that you
get used to over time. So I feel like that's yeah, yeah,
public speaking gets a bad rap apparently. So anyway, lots
(04:01):
of fascinating questions out there that you can then psychoanalyze.
The person who decided to post these questions online, but
I guess we're just going to ask each other a
series of them and see what we both get.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
So, Sarah, you want to start.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Yeah, And just to preface this, so Laura and I
decided to make independent choices as to the ones that
we would ask the other person. But then I also
decreed that we had to answer it ourselves as well. Yes,
So I tried to choose things where I was really
curious as to what Laura would say, and I'm guessing
that she did the same thing. And I have to
say when I perused her questions, I was like, Wow,
(04:38):
some of those are really really hard. And if this
episode strikes you as kind of random, well yet yes
it is. But also these are fun prompts, so we
hope that maybe you take them to your dinner table
or the car ride. And I don't know, let us know.
We're happy to hear what you would rather do in
some of these interesting scenarios. All right, I'm going to
give you. I'm gonna give you a softball. I purposely
(05:00):
chose like an easy one. First. Would you rather never
eat watermelon again or be forced to eat watermelon with
every meal?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Well?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Give it that watermelon as probably not my top ten
favorite foods. I think I would be fine to have
a life without watermelon. I mean, it's good, but I
wouldn't want to eat it for every meal, So I
think i'd be bidding ad to watermelon.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Oh the fun random fact here.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Normally my husband is the one who cuts up the
watermelon in our household, and he sort of cuts the
rine completely off, so right then you're like scooping it
out of a bowl with a spoon or whatever to put.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
On your plate.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
And we had a family gathering, extended family gathering at
the beach, and someone suggested he cut it with the
rhine still on, like so it would be in little
wedges that people could pick up.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
And I like it so much better that way.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
It's just like less messy, Like I feel more like
it's a cool snack, like almost a snack on a stick,
versus this mushy whatever thing that I have to scoop out.
And so, uh, yeah, I guess I've started to see
watermelon in a new light. But I still don't want
to eat it every meal for the rest of my life,
how about you. Yeah, I don't even like watermelon, So
(06:10):
I was.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Like, this is one of those ones where I was like, well,
the question asker kind of got it wrong, because if
the question had said something like would you never want
to eat peanut butter again or be forced to eat
it with every meal? Then I would actually have to
think a little bit but one mile and I was like, yeah, no, bye.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Or maybe I'd be willing to have a small sip
of coffee with every meal, right, so I didn't have
to give it up completely or something.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
I'd definitely choose that, especially if I could have a
decap option. That's yeah, fine, I have a tiny bit
of decay at dinner or something.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Yeah. Yeah, you're talking about like it's like a shot
glass size the coffee. Yeah, I mean I'd probably be
willing to have it with every meal.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
All right. Well, next one, this is a little bit
less of a softball. Huh. Yes, would you rather be
in jail for five years or be any coma for
a decade?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
So we would say, like I have to ask some
follow up questions here is what kind of jail are
we talking about? Right, Because if we're talking about like
one of these hideous dungeons somewhere terrible, like, that's kind
of a different matter. If we're talking like a minimum
security local Pennsylvania Women's correctional facility, Like I feel that
(07:17):
would suck a lot and I'd be sad about it,
but you'd get that five years of life, you know, probably.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Read, watch some movies.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
My family could come visit me, rather than losing ten
years of life completely. So I guess that would be
the stipulation here of how I wouldn't make that choice.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Do you think you really get to watch movies in jail?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I believe that's one of like there's a lot of
television watching in but I could be wrong. That was
just my understanding. Maybe there's different jails have different policies.
So yeah, I had thought from some things I had
heard and read and some people who have had short
(07:59):
stints that there were movies and television involved.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
But people can correct me. Yeah, like Martha Stewart's jail experience. Yeah, yeah,
I would also pick jail, even with the uncertainty of
what type it was. I mean, it sounds absolutely horrifying,
but I don't want to lose ten years of my life.
That's just like I mean, I guess I could come
to regret my choice, but I think i'd regret the
(08:24):
choice of coma more not knowing what the jail would
have been like and being like, I just erased part
of my life. Plus it's five years versus ten years.
If we're talking ten and ten, it might be a
little more difficult. But yeah, it's like fifteen hundred days
in jail, Like, can I make it through? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Yeah, you know, it sounds like the place where Martha
Stuart served her time wasn't terrible, Like she was apparently
making like crab apple pies and things like that.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
So you'd be like, I'm going to run the first
jail time management course for inmates and see where this goes. No,
this is like, I mean, we take all this very seriously.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Yeah, this is a I'm sure it's a really traumatic
experience for everyone who experiences it.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
But anyway, all right, next one.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
All right, this one's interesting and I time focused. I
picked it for you. Would you rather have a pause
or a rewind button in your life?
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Hmm?
Speaker 2 (09:18):
I think possibly a pause. I think rewind is hard
to work with.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
So if people have seen the Harry Potter and the
Cursed Child play, just the idea of messing with anything
with time travel. Can you know the butterfly's wing sets
off of tsunami somewhere else kind of scenario.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
What's done is done.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
I think a pause button would allow you to stop
and linger longer in a moment that was really cool,
just so you could pause and appreciate it a bit.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
But yeah, I guess that's what i'd choose.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Yeah, I think that's a really good point, because I
was initially thinking rewind, but I do feel like that
could be super disastrous and dangerous and maybe it's just
like better not to have that ability at all. And pause.
I was thinking pause would help you like reassess or
maybe like take more time to make a difficult judgment,
or like if you were about to have a car accident,
you could hit pause and then figure out how to
(10:14):
avoid it or something like that. So yeah, I'm gonna
go with pause as well, going with pause as well.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
All right, Well, let's take a quick ad break and
then we'll be back with a little bit more of
this would You Rather game?
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Well, we are back.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
We are playing a little podcast version of would you Rather?
The game you've probably heard your kids play in the car.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Would you Rather?
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Do? Some ridiculous things, some disgusting things, some not fun thing,
some scary thing. You can learn a lot about people
by asking these questions. All right, Sarah, we're continuing with
the ones that you came up with.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
All right. By the way, I feel like this would
be a good dinner party icebreaker, Like if you have
a group of people that don't know each other well
and it's a small group. It wouldn't be good for
a large group because it would get unwieldy really quickly.
But I'm thinking like a six person dinner party, like
you could whip out a few of these to get
everyone started, And I don't know, I might try it,
all right. So would you rather be able to take
(11:19):
back anything you say or hear any conversation that is
about you?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
I think I'd probably rather be able to take back
anything I say. I feel like the hearing the conversation
that's about you. Again, if you have any sort of
like public presence, there are already conversations going on about
you that you don't hear, or you can hear, like
through because they're happening in comments, so that people feel
like you aren't seeing or something.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
I don't know. Book reviews that people leave.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Online where they whatever have their own impressions of your life,
or you know, just you're already you've experienced that, and
you know that there are conversations. You know, it just
doesn't bother you.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
I guess as much.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
I don't know whereas being able to take back anything
I say would be helpful. Although I just said I
didn't want to rewind button versus a pause button. So
I guess maybe what we need is my sudden burst
of self control. So I stop before I say the
thing it's the equivalent of the pause button, and then
give me like a big flashing red sign would warn Laura,
(12:24):
you shouldn't say this, and then I could could stop
and rethink and move on, how about you, Sarah? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Or maybe it's like not done as a rewind but
instead more like all right, I take it back, and
people just like at face value are like okay, moving on.
That might work. Yeah, I would not want to hear
conversations about me. I just I think that would just
like not be helpful. Too much feedback and then you
become dwelling on that feedback, and maybe some of it's
(12:52):
positive and I wouldn't even want to shape my life
around positive things people said about me, because I don't
want to be necessarily influenced one way or the other.
Not that I think all the conversations would be positive,
but I'm not sure i'd want to hear any of
those closed door conversations. I will admit back when I
looked at Reddit everyone, I think I searched for my
name like once and I had like the grossest feeling,
(13:12):
and I thank god I only found like two very
minor things, and I'm like, I'm never doing that again.
I don't want to know. I do not want to know. So, yeah,
don't want those conversations. All right, here is one I
don't even know my answer. I think I know your answer,
and I think this is one where like best of
both world, listeners should maybe all take a minute and
(13:32):
think about their answer and where it takes them. All right,
would you rather work the job you have now for
a year at double year current rate of pay or
have one year off with what you are making now?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
So, because I have no desire to not do what
I'm doing, like, I don't feel like this is I mean,
I been working for a long time. I'm sure if
I wanted to stop working for a year, I could
stop working for a year. But I don't have any
desire to stop working for a year, So in that scenario,
(14:07):
just earning double whatever I've been earning would be a
nice bonus. So I guess I don't it's yeah, I
think you have to be out coming at it this
from what are you saying, Sarah?
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Like what was I assumed that you would say you'd
rather work and earn double because you don't tend to
want to stop working, Like, yeah, I think that that
you'd be like, fine, I'll work and earn double. Amazing,
Like that's great. I guess there should have been a
third option, which is like work half the rate and
earn like one hundred percent. Maybe that would have been
like a nice middle ground. I think if I could
(14:40):
guarantee it's not even about the money necessarily, but if
I could guarantee that I could pick up every single
piece and earn my actually the money is important, and
I earned my full salary and then like start exactly
where I left off one year without losing a beat
clinically or creatively. Yeah, I would take them up on
that offer. Yeah, And I would just have a year
of reflection and thought and travel and a lot of
(15:02):
running and hanging out and like leisure, and like I
think that in itself would become like almost a type
of work, like just an exploration, and then it would
be super cool to be like because I don't want
to quit forever. But if I was just like guaranteed
to then slot right back in where I left off
and I didn't have to lose the income, yeah, sign me.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yeah. I mean so that's a hard thing to say
because I guess the practicalities of you know, once you
have a business that's based on you, you can't walk
away from it for a year and come right back
to it where it is. Like I assume if we
stopped doing this podcast, like people would find other things
to listen to on Tuesday, and a year from now,
(15:41):
we do have to do a ton of work to
get those listeners back, right. I mean, sure some people
would remember us, but loyal as they may be, they're
not you know, gonna sit there wondering for a year
where we are and checking every.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Tuesday to make sure. And it's.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Like, I love of writing in and of itself, and
so it's kind of just fun to write for an audience.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Maybe if you were allowed to work during this paid year,
but like completely on your own terms, then that would
be like your choice, meaning like yeah, you write when
you want to write, you speak when you want to speak,
but sort of like, no, I guess you already do that.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
This is really hard.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
I guess I don't.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah, I don't take on a whole lot of stuff
I don't want to do anyway. It just would sort
of be like, yeah, don't really feel that excited about it.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
I mean, I do, you know have.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
I am a worker bee and there are probably times
that I stick with stuff projects longer than I should.
When I know longer, I'm enjoying them, and so I
think there would be a good thing to evaluate with it.
But then I'm like, well, yeah, I don't know, so sorry,
you'd take it.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
I would take it. What if the podcast ended like
right now, you're like, actually, I'm done.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
That's it. We made it through seven years, Sarah, I'm
out in seventeen minutes of an episode.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Yeah, there you go. So I know it's a super
thought provoking question and probably like a good self reflection
experiment for probably many of our listeners who are doing
work that they may really really enjoy, but just thinking
about what it means to them, And I'm not sure
there's like a answer, like it's not like my answer makes
me want to do anything specific, But I don't know.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Just use yuah, So I could totally see that somebody
might like the middle of the road option right where
you work like half of the year or whatever and
not just like twenty hours a week.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Maybe it was that you like would be able to.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Work twenty six weeks of the year and earn the
same amount and so have lots of different vacation options
or something, you know, and maybe you like magically also
have childcare for all the hours, so you could like
travel on your own if you wanted to or something.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
It's just like, although then I think, like, well, if
I had twenty six weeks of vacation, I think I'd
get sick of that. Actually I don't know, Maybe I
have to rethink. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
All right, Well, I have some questions, so I will
go ahead and start asking these questions of Sarah. We'll
take an ad break after maybe one or two of these.
But okay, Sarah, would you rather be more attractive or
more intelligent?
Speaker 3 (18:26):
I don't know. This is a hard one. I mean,
I get no matter what I say, it's gonna come
off like horrible. But I'm like, I think I'm smart
enough and being like movie star attractive might be really
fun and open some doors. So is it disgusting and
superficial to pick that? Yeah, gonna go with looking like
Angeline Julie. Yeah, especially if it's like lasting. I mean,
(18:49):
if I'm just going to age anyway, I'm not sure
that would be worth it.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
So well, we're all going to age anyway, but maybe
we it'll be a long time we can run with,
you know, the good looks for uh. Speaking of Martha Stewart,
she's been rocking it at age eighty if anyone looks
at her social media stuff. So whatever happened years ago
has all natural too well, but good for her for
(19:14):
finding the best people in the world to make it happen.
So she looks awesome, and so looking like that at
age eighty would be great. And sometimes it's funny because
you know, some people who were very attractive early in
life don't age that way.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
But she was, like bed An attractive.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Early life and she's kept it, and that's pretty awesome.
I would definitely go with more attractive. I've well, it's
just I mean, yeah, I feel like I don't even
use a lot of my brain much of the day.
It's not like I'm doing quantum physics or something coming
(19:51):
up with new mathematical theorems. That I enjoy thinking hard
about stuff when I'm writing, but even that, it's it's
not breaking new philosophical ground or something. I feel like
my level of intelligence has gotten me three or so
far and just does little things like make me do
(20:12):
thousand piece puzzles for fun in my spare time, whereas
I've never been probably up where it is on the curve,
like the attractiveness could move further to the right in
a way that the intelligence could move also further to
the right. But maybe there's it's a little bit further
on the curve. So I would go with that as well.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Plus I wonder if people above a certain echelon of
intelligence would just struggle in like society a little bit.
That could maybe there'd be some negatives. There might be.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
There might be unless you're like so socially and emotionally
intelligent as well, you've got amazing intuitive abilities.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
I don't know, we know superheroes in that way.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
All right, Well, we're going to take another quick ad
break and we'll be back with more Would you rather?
All right, so we are back playing would you rather
the game where you propose different scenarios something that might
(21:13):
be scary or gross or not fun or just thought provoking. So, Sarah,
would you rather have a conversation with your great great
grandfather or great great grandmother or your great great grandson
or granddaughter. And I want to make the stipulation here
that I think there's going to be enough greats in this.
(21:34):
You can choose the number of greats, but this is
outside your natural lifespan, right, because theoretically, maybe one of
us would get to actually talk to our great great
granddaughter if we lived to one hundred or something like that.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
It could happen.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
But let's stipulate that it is enough outside that you
would not naturally live to see this person.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Yeah, and this is going to be relevant perhaps for
the next question as well. But I just find the
future way more intriguing than the past. I know that's
not necessarily typical for everyone. People get super into these
like ancestry things, and I'm kind of like, eh, I
don't know, so I've definitely choose great great grandson or
granddaughter love to know. I don't know. I would ask
(22:17):
them all about their grandparents and their parents because I'd
want to know about all the inner generations from their perspective,
and I guess to some extent you might kind of
hear a perspective about the future, which would be super interesting.
So that's what i'd go with.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Okay, Yeah, I don't know. I've never been into that
ancestry stuff too. My husband and some of my kids
really are, and they'll come up with something like, oh,
our line is related to Robert the Bruce. It turns
out everybody is related to Robert the Bruce. This does
nothing for you, Like there's some interesting genetic the way
the genetic analysis goes if you are of European heritage,
(22:53):
basically everything converges within the last thousand years, Like everybody
is related to everyone within about a thousand year period.
So being like we're related to Robert the Bruce is like,
well so what so everyone else.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Like why do you care?
Speaker 2 (23:09):
But they get really into this, so like where the
lineage goes to get you to that or your your
relation to Queen Elizabeth. I, I don't know. I am, yes,
slightly less excited about the past.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Then it's also funny because people love to be like,
I'm related to this noble person and you're like and
nine jillion other like of their serfs and normal people. Yeah, yeah,
why are we choosing the one special one to focus on?
Like every Jewish person is related to Jerry Seinfeld, But
you know you're also related to like, I don't know whatever,
slaves in Egypt, I don't know whatever.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
It's true, it's a long family lineage. It's been a
family tradition for a long time. Well, I guess the
cool thing about getting to meet a great great grandchild
is knowing that you had a great great grandchild. So
that's kind of cool. So the earth continued at least
to that point, and your family decided it was an
exciting enough thing to bring new people into the world
(24:05):
that they kept going with it too. So yeah, maybe
I would go for the great great granddaughter conversation as well.
So related, Sarah, would you rather have a one minute
conversation with your past self or with your future self?
Speaker 3 (24:20):
Well, this one's you know, actually thinking about it, like
it might be dangerous to talk to your future self,
because like, what if you find out something bad and
then you're disappointed. So I kind of think i'd pick
my past self for safety reasons, and maybe I think
it well and that could be dangerous too though, because
I'm like, well, I would give my twelve year old
(24:41):
self a pep talk that it gets better. But then
what if that twelve year old then is like, well,
just put up my heels and like motivated, who.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Cares about med school?
Speaker 3 (24:49):
Exactly?
Speaker 2 (24:51):
So it was that a little bit of edge that
made it.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
But I'm gonna keep it real neutral, yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Be like it's gonna be okay, like if you wanted to,
it's like, you're gonna have an interesting career, you'll get married,
you'll have lovely kids. Just tell her that hopefully she'll
be motivated enough by that to continue making good choices. Yeah,
I think probably past self as well would could you
kind of can already have You could write things now
(25:19):
for your future self to look at. So in some
ways you can have a conversation with your future self,
like just that the future self will have to have
their part of the conversation.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
I have a funny story with that. So I was
playing with Google Calendar, and I don't really use Google
Calendar except like some my husband invites and I like
was like, oh, let me check the tasks function. And
I saw that I had put a task in in
like twenty sixteen or something that was like maybe it
was twenty seventeen. That was like for twenty thirty and
(25:49):
it said play Annabell's first day of school video. So
I don't know who gave me that idea, but cool idea.
And also that's kind of like the past self talking
to you, so that'll be super interesting. Although we can't
like have a conversation, but I'm excited for that task
to pop up. And yeah, I'm here. It's only six
years away.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Now, only six years away.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Yeah, I know. I've been looking at old videos and
stuff on my phone, old photos and the.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Apple time hop thing.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
I mean they show you things that happen on this
date or whatever in years past, and it's been fun
to see the videos, to hear the kids' voices and
even you know, hear my voice talking about stuff, and like, Okay,
I guess I'm having.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
A bit of a moment with.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Past Laura and maybe I should record more now whatever
I'm talking about I record all the time I have
passed fretro. Laura wants to listen to past Laura others
unless all this stuff gets erased from the digital sphere piece,
Laura can listen to past Laura more than she probably
ever ever wants to. All Right, Sarah, would you rather
(26:55):
swim with sharks or sleep in a house you knew
to be haunted?
Speaker 3 (27:01):
This one is one of those where I'm like, well,
what if one does not believe in haunted houses? Or like,
what is haunted mean? So I am definitely not swimming
with sharks, so I'm gonna hedge my bets with the ghosts.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Yeah, well, I mean I don't know.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Because my husband and my fourteen year old are both
scuba divers, and they point out that seeing sharks on
a dive is actually really cool, Like you don't see
them that often, and contrary to popular perception, sharks are
not like constantly circulating looking for swimmers to bite jaws style.
(27:39):
I mean, it happens, but it's not that common. So
people actually pay good money to go sleep with, not
sleep with sharks, to go swim with sharks.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
So I get it. I can't.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
I think maybe if I knew it was like I
was observing a group of sharks from a distance, I
might go do snorkeling scuba diving to go see them.
But I don't really believe in ghosts either. So the
how otted house like, there's no real such things, So
I think probably i'd be okay to sleep in there too.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
What if we change it to a house with three
pythons on the loose?
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Okay, I'm probably taking my bet with the sharks in
the like that sense I described with the like observing
the school from a distance.
Speaker 3 (28:28):
Yeah, I don't like snakes. Yeah I don't either. I
guess if I could close my door and I knew
they couldn't get under it, it might be okay, I
don't know. Okay, we're gonna move on.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Oh that's good little visual image for all our listeners
who just thought they were commuting to work today and
now you have to live with that one.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Would you rather have a.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Longer Christmas vacation or a longer summer vacation? Like if
I were going to add three weeks to your vacation
budget here, would you rather take them in the winter
or the summer winter?
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Because our weather is way better, and there's more skiing opportunities,
so we could like enjoy Actually, I would love this.
Let's do it. Let's do it like four weeks of
winter break and six weeks of summer break, as long
as there are some camp options and stuff available for
this faux winter break. But like from a Floridian perspective,
this would be amazing. Plus it would like better more
(29:20):
balanced throughout the year versus having an all in one go.
I think your answer is gonna be very different, But
I am all for this plan. And hey, it's why
we have Like places that have year around school tend
to be places like Arizona. I think because like no
one wants that summer off. That's the most miserable part
of the year. Why would you want to be off? Then?
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Yeah, I love summer, I will say. I mean so.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Depending on how we view this question, Like if I
don't have to give up weeks of summer right, like
I'm not transferring weeks of summer over to Christmas.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Ye, happy to get extra another week at Christmas? I mean,
why not?
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Then we could like take that trip to New Zealand
then or something. It's just always hard to because the
kids don't want to be gone on Christmas, and it's
a bit of a hassle to move presence or to
open them somewhere else. And I mean, how is Santa
Claus going to find us if we're in a hotel somewhere?
And I sang on Christmas Eve as well, So we
(30:10):
always have.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
To go like after.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
But then it's limited because you're back January first, January second.
Being able to take till January eighth would open up
a lot of possibilities in terms of traveling farther at
times when there are a lot of places that are
not that pleasant in the summer. So yeah, I would
love to get an extra week at Christmas, but I
don't want to give up a week of the summer
(30:33):
to get it. So I'm not sure how that all
plays out.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
But hey, you know, I think college students get like
a really long winter.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
That is true.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
That is true.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
I remember we'd be off from like December fifteen to
basically February first, because there was like a month yeah
exam period, but if you didn't, if you only had papers,
there was a lot of it was like.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
The old day's work from home flexibility.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
I guess, all right, last bonus, Sarah, would you rather
meet Harry Potter or Santa Claus?
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Well, I did not grow up with the edition of
Santa Claus, and I definitely grew up with the udition
of Harry Potter. So I will pick Harry. You'll pick Harry, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
My kids would. My kids would might struggle with this one.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
I think they'd like to meet Harry Potter though, because
they haven't really met Santa yet. I mean, his helpers
have various breakfasts with Santa phenomenon, and he keeps bringing presents,
So I guess Harry Potter might be slightly more exciting.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Bonus if it's like, actually Daniel Radcliffe so well, he.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Doesn't look like Harry Potter anymore now he's an adult man.
We're doing a lot of time travel though, so could
be go meet Daniel Radcliff circle like two thousand and three? Yeah,
all right, So moving on, there's been our would you
rather questions. This week's question is from a listener who
(31:51):
wants to justify outsourcing household cleaning. She says, how do
I justify it if my hourly rate is lower than
that of what the cleaning service is charging?
Speaker 1 (32:03):
She says, for full transparency. I'm looking for permission.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
She says.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
She recently took a part time administrative role for twenty
five hours a week while her kids are little. For
various reasons. She's paid well, but not as much as
a cost for like having a cleaning service come to
her house for let's say two hours. Like what she
would earn in two hours is less than what she
would pay for two hours of a cleaning service cleaning
her house.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
So she's saying, can I justify this? So, Sarah, what
do you think?
Speaker 3 (32:32):
I love your answer, but I just want to add
the fact that, like two hours of work from a
cleaning service would probably take me like eight hours to
do because I am not as efficient and not as
good as they are.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
And they often bring more people, right, Like if you
have a team of three people, like, there's more man
hours here, Like the fact that they're there for two
hours doesn't mean you're only getting two hours, Like that's
like many many more man hours.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
Correct, And honestly, even if it was one person, they're
probably still one point five to two x speed as
efficient as I am. And so I think you have
to be careful thinking about hourly rate and thinking about
what it's actually saving you. So before you even answer
the question, make sure your math is correct thinking about
how long it would actually take you to clean. And
with that, I let Laura give the rest of the
answer because I think it's perfect.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Yeah, I think there's a lot of things like that.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
You probably could figure out some of you, Like if
you have an older car, you could probably figure out
car repair, but it would take you a lot lot
longer than it would take to bring it to a
mechanic who actually knows what they are doing. And so
or painting your walls, Like again, you can paint your
own walls, the amount of time it will take you
to do a halfway decent job versus a professional painter
(33:38):
is probably not a comparable number. So things to keep
in mind as you're doing the economics. But I will
say that I think hourly rate has got to be
somewhat based on household income and not just yours. I
am assuming that this listener of ours has downshifted from
a sort of full time big job to this heart
(34:00):
time administrative role as a household decision that they've decided
somebody should be around more hours for whatever reason they
have made that choice. But assuming that that is a
family decision. Then we are talking household income, not just hers,
as she has taken this hit as a bitefit as
(34:20):
perceived as such, to the household. And just to put
it bluntly, I mean, I live in a fairly well
to do community, and most of the stay at home
moms I know around here do have housekeeping services. And
that's true even if their hourly rate is technically zero,
because it's based on both their household rate and the
fact that they don't want to do it right, Like
they don't want to spend the time that they could
be with their kids or managing their household, or volunteering
(34:42):
in the school or whatever it is, cleaning their baseboards.
So if this person has decided to work less to
focus more on their kids and managing family life, obviously
she values that quite a bit. So go ahead and
put a dollar number on that that's incredibly high, and
then you can.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
Justify it to yourself all you want. Yeah, and just
also be careful to see whether there are you know,
the fact that you had to ask permission and have
all this guilt around it. Do that experiment. We've had
you guys do many times before. We've swapped the genders,
and we have moms working a very busy job at
a law firm, and dad has a more casual job
but is doing a lot of the household stuff. Do
you judge him the way you're currently judging yourself for
(35:20):
hiring out the heavy cleaning. Maybe you do, but maybe
you don't. So interesting to think that through. Why we
place certain expectations on ourselves, maybe somewhat based on gender,
even if we don't realize that.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
I always point out that one of the most commonly
outsourced household tasks is lawnmowing, and that is because it's
historically male, and a lot of guys don't want to
spend their weekends mowing the lawn and so they don't
feel particularly guilty about it being hired out.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
And so that's something that a lot of people do.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Now. Obviously, if this household is if money is not
in a big supply, though again, if somebody is consciously
working fewer hours as a household, you know, it's let's
just say that there are ways one can find money
in different places with different choices. So if this is
(36:15):
a priority for you to get a cleaning service, maybe
you do something like hold on to a car for
a year longer than you would have right, Or maybe
you take a slightly cheaper vacation that you stay at
a less nice hotel for a week, and that opens
up cash that you could use for this.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Maybe you take a good.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
Look at various recurring bills that you have if there
are any of them that could be trimmed to a degree.
Just when you're past the point of being on the edge,
there's often some discretion somewhere, and if you decide that
something is a household priority, you can often find money
for it by deciding that something else is less of
a priority.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
And this person, to be clear, didn't make it sound
like there was even like an issue. It was more
a she wanted a permission slip. So we are. We
are signing on the dotted line.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Signing on the ditted line.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
Permission granted. All right, love of the week. Well, I'll
just go ahead and say I like my cleaning service.
It's really nice too. On Thursday morning, the coming you know,
the kitchen is clean and it lasts for about ten minutes.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
But that's okay. For ten minutes my kitchen is completely clean. Well,
I will go with the lawn service. We have both
as well. Yeah, there may be some scenarios where actually
one half of a couple does want to maybe say
they want to do the lawn because then they get
like outdoor time to themselves. No, I think we went
through that very very briefly. But it's really hot out there. Yeah,
(37:39):
the lawn people are so efficient, So I'm just grateful
that everybody in our household feels like this is a
worthy investment, and I'm glad to support our lawn team.
They do a great job. Excellent.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
All right, Well, this has been best of both worlds
we've been playing. Would you rather maybe a game you
want to play with your family later today or as
you know, a dinner party or something like that. We
will be back next speak with more on making work
and life fit together.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the
shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram,
and you.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This
has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join
us next time for more on making work and life
work together.