A Digital Gurl in a Digital World (Featuring Bridget Todd)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Black Fat Fem Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio
and Doctor John Paul LLC. Hey everyone, welcome to another
episode of the Blackfatfim Podcast, where all the intersections of
identity are celebrated. I am one of your hosts, John
also known as Talk Duh John Paul. And while Wendy's
might have rolled back their thoughts on surge pricing, I

(00:23):
am still not happy. You know, those people over there
own the right side would say make America great again.
I want Wendy's to make the four for four again.
It is seven dollars Joho.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
By my house, seven dollars dollars for the fourth, but
they call the four for four four for seven.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Now, what's the point. What's the point? I might as
well just get a meal at this point, I made
as well just four extra doll has and I might
as well just get a number one or something. It's
so silly, So make four for four again? Is that
too hard?

Speaker 2 (01:03):
It's I just I'm sorry you were taking me out
because I just have never seen someone fight so hard
against And it's sad because Wendy's it really wasn't everyone's
good gracist For a long time, everyone loved the Wendy's marketing,
but the marketing will not save them from this uh,
from this crisis. She is on Wendy's is definitely on
the same train that on Nikka is on poor Nicki Minaj.

(01:25):
Literally they're both on the same train literally going to
the same place, which is hell.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
But anyway, how are you doing.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
When he's about call you and be like I given do?
Like basically they gonna send me up like a lot
he does, especially on the four part four. Don't make
us drop another single, like that's what they're gonna do. Okay, anyways,
I'm being too much. Bam it is Joo also known

(01:54):
as You're an I R L. And I just have
one question for housing developers today. Point do you think
rents will cease to make sense? I've already reached that point,
but I just want to know what point they think
it'll that they think it'll cease to make sense, because
there is nothing you can offer me that will justify
paying three thousand dollars for a one bedroom, six square

(02:17):
foot apartment, Like I don't care pay.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
Oh no, not what I pay all No, I would
live in never no, no, no. There's just new buildings
being built in my area all the time.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
And one of them, the one bedroom, is over three
thousand and was like, I don't care. I for pools
come with glitter. I don't care if a covering space
has free Wi Fi. Also, why do you have a
co working space? Like why my home to do your
co working space in the same building. I'm also staying home, right,
make sense? Like ORF, you can give us free WiFi.
It was free Wi Fi the entire building, not just

(02:49):
a coverking space.

Speaker 3 (02:50):
It makes no.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
Sense, right, But the audacity in this is that they
will charge three thousand dollars for the one bedroom and
then turn around and make you pay for trash water
and everything else. And it's like, then what am I
paying for like outside of living there?

Speaker 2 (03:07):
Like I'm just paying for the container that right? Like
that or you know, or they say.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
The like the like the these a maddies. I'm like,
I don't know how much?

Speaker 2 (03:16):
How many is like I don't think the pool with
four other people is going to probably fulfill me that
much in my life.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
But I just like swimming in public pools.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
People like this.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
No people showers and pee in a pool. No, there
is Next there.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Is a new building that has been built literally, like
right behind my favorite bar that like that, like I
go often to. They have a beautiful back patio where
they have the details, the music, and they built a
building right behind it, so one if you live in
those units, you could see us. But I swear to God,
if one person gives a noise complaint, they will have

(03:58):
me at their door. Fucking should don't don't be mad,
bea want to.

Speaker 3 (04:02):
Be as we're here for.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
Do you not not not into my queer home, not
into my queer cultural life.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
No, no, you will turn into a white woman of color.
I know that's right.

Speaker 3 (04:12):
Oh hearing them real quick?

Speaker 1 (04:14):
Okay, I know that's right. All right, Well, this week
talking about amazing people who are changing things and making
things right in this world. We spent pretty much, I
would say, the last three minutes going off about what's
wrong in the world. But I'm about to start talking
about what's right. This week, we have a wonderful guest
who I have been following for years. I don't think

(04:36):
that they know, but like early in the heyday when
they were talking like you know how like when you
were a kid and they say, who do you want
to be like when you grow old? And your people.
I want to be like I want to be like
Michael Jackson, blah blah blah, Like I genuinely wanted to
be this guest, like when I was coming up in
my heyday. And so it is such an honor to
have them on the show because this person has breathed

(05:00):
so like breath so much life into a lot of
the rough patches I have had in my career as
a journalist as everything when pot when the podcast first
got greenlit, I ran to them, was like, hey, I
have a million questions, and they helped me navigate so
many things. So with that, I'm just very happy.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
Now.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
I want to note this that this that this person
is an award winning writer, podcaster, and host who covers
everything from beauty to politics. She is the director of
Communication at We Are Ultra Violet, which I will say
during the pandemic I had the joy of working with
and it was me and April Rain and we did

(05:38):
a whole talk back about the importance of not letting
George Floyd's like livelihood get swept under the rug. So
I am so grateful that I had that opportunity. But
they also are community. They also are dedicated to creating
community community around feminist issues with being the founder of
Unbossed Creatives, a studio that promotes social change for the

(05:59):
public good, a podcast and digital content. This woman is busy,
but at the same time they are just so giving
and I am just so grateful to know them. Please
give it up for the host of There Are No
Black Girls on the Internet and who continues to snatch
up trophies all the way around the one the Only
bridget Todd. How are you, sweetheart?

Speaker 4 (06:20):
Oh my god, I am busting and glowing with joy
to be here, and what a lovely introduction. I The
feeling is very mutual. I am such a fan so
I am having a fan girl moment being here on
the show.

Speaker 5 (06:32):
Thank you for having me. But I'm so excited.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
Yes, yes, day one a day one request from John,
Like John from day one was like, we average a
time on the show, So really this is kids mean
that you're here with us, So thank you, thank you.

Speaker 5 (06:45):
I hope I'm able to live up we.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
Are, yes, just by just by you being you. I'm like,
oh my god, like I am in the room with
the bridget Todd and it's just it's a blessing for
both me and Joho to be able to sit in
community with you and for us to key key up
this episode. So with that being said, we're gonna go
ahead and push forward with our ode ta Tisha Campbell.

(07:10):
You know, every week we like to give her her
flowers with our still here moment. And this week, when
I was putting the show flow together, I was like, Oh,
we have the queen of the digital game here. How
could I not ask them this question? So the question
this week that I'm asking to both of you is
if we could breathe life back into any piece of
technology or app or web site or space, what would

(07:34):
it be?

Speaker 5 (07:35):
Now?

Speaker 1 (07:35):
I have one that's written down, but as I was
walking around, actually it was this morning. So we're recording.
By the time y'all hear this, it'll be about a
week we're recording. This morning that we were recording, both
Instagram and Facebook was down for like three or four hours,
and everyone was like running over to Twitter to talk
about it. And I saw someone tweet this, and I
was like, like, my great minds thinking like someone said,

(07:58):
my space never had these problems right of being because
I guess it was a cyber attack that happened to them.

Speaker 3 (08:04):
And mind you changed voting day, so they were saying
it was.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
Of course, of course it makes a lot of sense
that they will both go down on voting day. But
with that being said, I would say my Space is
definitely I still wish my Space was still that girl.
The music, the pages, all of the stuff that happened
over there. Like we were low key coders.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
We were cod okay before it was cool.

Speaker 5 (08:27):
That was how I learned how to code.

Speaker 4 (08:29):
Making MySpace play a song automatically that like nobody could
pause and had it be like Falling Glitter.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
Star Falling Stars and Glitter.

Speaker 4 (08:38):
I thought you were breaking Yes, whatever browser you were on,
it would break it if you.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
Were using what's the one that around netscape? Girl, if
you use netscap space, you were fucked. Yeah, so your
whole computer would freeze. Yeah yeah girl. But also tv
H I also want to to bring back for me.

(09:07):
You all know that I am an iPhone girly through
and through. But the BlackBerry, the BlackBerry.

Speaker 3 (09:13):
She was that girl. She was that girl like I was.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
I was a bit too young for it myself, but
like in hindsight, I'm like, oh, she was that girl.

Speaker 3 (09:20):
BlackBerry was miss.

Speaker 5 (09:23):
Gonna be mine.

Speaker 4 (09:24):
M Yeah, I thought I was working for Kelly Katron BlackBerry.
You would have thought I was like working in the
White House or something. With how much my BlackBerry meant
to me and how how I would furiously type on
it because it had those buttons you could really push.

Speaker 5 (09:41):
I was like, it's like good buttons. I bring it back.

Speaker 1 (09:44):
You gotta bring back the and the little thing in
the middle that you can use to scroll. What a time?
What a time BlackBerry? Was that girl? If you had
a BlackBerry, people were like, oh, girl, what do you
do for a living? What you are you giving me?

Speaker 3 (10:00):
Who were you even? Yes? Giving a CEO?

Speaker 2 (10:04):
Giving a ceoes boss and CEO?

Speaker 1 (10:09):
You are my What does she say? You're my elite employee? Yes, yes,
that's what it was giving. What about you Bridge? I
know you probably stole yours, but yeah, any PC up there.

Speaker 4 (10:22):
I loved my pink Razor phone. I remember when I
got that. That was I You couldn't tell me anything.
I thought I was the ship. Yes, honestly, technology, I
do feel like when I when I was in college,
that was like the golden era of phones and a
lot of those phones they could you could drop them
from a ten story building and they would be fine,

(10:42):
you use your iPhone once in the rain and it's fucked.

Speaker 5 (10:45):
You could think those.

Speaker 4 (10:46):
I still have some of those old phones, So definitely,
those old cell phone technologies were my favorite.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yes, yes, what about you?

Speaker 2 (10:56):
First of all, John, this is a great question. This
is a great episode because this is this is like everything.
It's like everything nostalgic in the best way. So I too,
will say bring back the quarti keyboards on phones because
there was a sweet spot the smartphone game where phones
were touch screen and they had physical keyboards, and that
ship was cute.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
I have, I had my I had.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
My little Samsung Galaxy slider to bitch y'all can tell
me ship the way I said. Enough, Yes, I've been
just just wipp it out, girl, because there are times
where like I love I love, I love my iPhone,
but I have big ass thumbs and like and like
I the amount of times like today I try to
press S, I can't pressing D and I was like,

(11:37):
why can't my fucking thumb just press S?

Speaker 3 (11:40):
Now?

Speaker 2 (11:40):
We have none of this problem on the quardy keyboard
because the physical blueprim that thing would say be people
boop s we good to go, So bring my quarty
keyboards because I love that shit's much like like I mean,
Psychic era, obviously, what was a shit I like, like
like I I just really love that time. There's also
this time where I never got the phone, but it
was the mot and you could attach things to the phone.

(12:03):
I never got one, but it looks so fucking cool.
Like you, I don't know her, you.

Speaker 3 (12:09):
She she was niche.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
People did not love it, But did you have thoughts
on it?

Speaker 4 (12:15):
I saw you were like, ye, yes, I didn't have
it either, but I remember it very well. It is
a little that's a little bit of a throwback. It's
a that's a niche one.

Speaker 5 (12:23):
But I have a.

Speaker 4 (12:25):
Theory on this that you might like, which is that
I think that we're that we're going back to buttons.

Speaker 5 (12:30):
I think people are over touch screens.

Speaker 4 (12:32):
I think that, like, I've seen a lot of trends
with tech, especially on cell phones, where stuff that fell
out of fashion is kind of coming back, like the
fold of whole cell phone.

Speaker 5 (12:41):
I don't know if you've seen that.

Speaker 3 (12:42):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (12:43):
So I wouldn't be surprised if we go back to
the pushable queer ty keyboards on phone.

Speaker 3 (12:49):
Okay, thank you, because I do.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
I do feel like at some point, I feel at
some point people are like, oh, we actually have gone
too far. We can make it easier for people than
the next thing. The last thing I'll say is also
the PSP PlayStation Portable I had.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
I won one of those.

Speaker 2 (13:05):
Actually, that was a fantastic piece of gaming tech. Oh
my god, the graphics, the different disc the way, the
way you could buy dis from different countries and play them.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
It was media player, you could put videos.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
I I won't say I hacked minds, but I will
say you know I had done some alterations of it,
and I I I the games I had, I had
had on that thing.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
It was just fun. It lasted a good decade.

Speaker 2 (13:33):
Like the PSP was that girl and headed heell gaming
I had while I was like in the back of
my mom like, oh I actually I was a purple.
I had a PSP and the and the DS and
the PSP was like supposed to be look at the
competitor for for the DS. The PSP you could not
touch with the D s two screens. The PSP you
could not touch. Like it was just so fucking good.
And I brought that thing with me everywhere, like any

(13:56):
trip in the car, watching movies, listen to music, play
games like it went it went on Wi Fi, we
cannetch your pswo and TV like it was that girl
and I would do anything to have a PSC back
again because that was so prime.

Speaker 1 (14:09):
Yes, so I want to roll back just a quick
second before we before we take a break. So you
set the motorola g.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
Monog Yes, motog ah, I believe.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
Because I'm not seeing the motorology I'm seeing is a
touch screen.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
So yes, no, so so so it so it is
now so back in the day, Motorola used to be
like the pinnacle of like south of cell phones, right
and now like now it's not so much anymore mental
because the switch to smartphones did them in and then
they tried to come in doing like they doing different things,

(14:45):
and so they had it was like probably twenty play fifteen,
twenty fourteen, probably they had it was a motog or
maybe like maybe the motoax motto is something but you
could buy you could buy like different like physical things
that you would install on the on the phone that
like made it different or better.

Speaker 3 (15:03):
Let me, we're trying to find it for you because
it was.

Speaker 5 (15:06):
It was Wikipedia. That's what you're talking about. This is
what I remember.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes yes yes yes, Melergy
for Generation, the Moto G Okay. That's why because I
was doing okay, so it was the first gin I.

Speaker 2 (15:21):
Think because it was like, let's see minulogy attachments. It
was what was it, Han, I'm finding for you right
now because I could.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
I know, I know it existed. I know it was you.

Speaker 1 (15:34):
I'm just thinking because when you talk about making mods
to phones and stuff, I know that for me, I
was I was that girl who had the Oh gosh,
what was the name of that phone? I had? The
Was it Motorola two? It might have been, but it
was like a brick and it was like basically the phone,
and you could take it on, you could take the
cases on and off, and I had lights on it,

(15:56):
phones and everything. Girl, I have a motor you me.

Speaker 2 (16:03):
I'm like, I'm looking, I'm like, where is this? Because
I know that I was like this is so interesting,
and they and and like and they're just because they,
like Marla, strive to also like they try to make
them accessible and cheaper that and people like like like
like to me fall from Grace. Right, it was like,
you have to do the razor, the riser, get all

(16:24):
these adult phones.

Speaker 3 (16:25):
And they fell from Grace and said, did them what
was it?

Speaker 5 (16:31):
Do you remember your your first cell phones?

Speaker 2 (16:34):
So you said the razor and I and I I
had a riser, which was the slide version of it.

Speaker 3 (16:40):
In the way I felt. I was like, oh, I'm unique.

Speaker 4 (16:44):
I got in like a clamshell and then the riser
it slid up, and so I think that was more
high end version.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
She was somebody because because my my my dad had
a razor, that man, that man could not be pulled
from a razor. He that thing when he wrote for
that thing. When I had the riser, I was like, oh, y'all,
I'm somebody with this one.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
It was because the rise was like the chocolate, right,
wasn't it like the chocolate in the sence it could
slide up?

Speaker 2 (17:10):
Yes, yes, oh yes, yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
I'm about to do it really in my very first
So my first phone, like I said, was I don't
know if it was Motorola, but I forget what it
was called. It had like the kickering tone and it
had like you could play snake on it. That was
my Nokia. Yes it was. That was the first phone
I had, and it was with AT and t go?
Was it with AT and t Go? That was my

(17:35):
first phone and then my second like my big girl
phone is when I got to college, I had a
sam ad the I was on Sprint. Judge me. Accordingly
I had the It was a Samsung but it was
a flip and it had the camera on it. And
it was like everybody who had Sprint had that phone.
And then that phone died and then I got another.

(17:56):
It was like a black Sprint one. It was a
black Sprint one that was like you could you could
rotate it and do all of these things with the
camera and all of that. And then after that I
jumped to the iPhone and I've never looked back.

Speaker 4 (18:07):
Oh my gosh, this is such a memory, a walk
down memory lane. I still have Minokia brick phone and
home last I charged. It still works, it works later,
still works.

Speaker 1 (18:19):
I believe it. That thing. You completely drive that over
with a bus and it wouldn't nothing would happen to it.

Speaker 3 (18:26):
It was I finally found it. Okay.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
So it was a moddo Z and middle X and
you could buy mods. One was like a three sixty
camera one was like an additional bot and you and
you a boud these moms to attached the phone and
it made it like more fun and it was a
great idea, but never took off because the mons were
so big, giant ass mod in my in my pocket

(18:51):
right just so attached to the phone. But they they
they tried really hard to do these types of things,
and it just it's just not did not go did not.

Speaker 3 (19:00):
Really. You can touch a jbo speaker to it to
have a little speaker to you.

Speaker 1 (19:06):
But they're still around. That's the cool thing is that
Motorola is still kicking, and so we speak your name
Rotorola barely. But yes, all right, yeah, well we're gonna
go ahead. It's it's that time, y'all know. We got
to take take a quick moment to pay some bills, uh,
to make sure I heart don't shut shut down our
cell phone nines over here. But when we get back,

(19:27):
we're gonna talk more about what it's like being a
digital girl in a digital world more in a second.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
Welcome back, y'all.

Speaker 2 (19:39):
So this week we want to dive into a conversation
that we've been seeing evere online. More specifically, a topic
that we don't think we've ever touched on the show yet. Now,
for many of us, being millennial is something that we
are proud of mostly, but these days being millennial is
actually more complicated than not. They're in several articles that

(19:59):
have come out about the issue of loneliness many millennials
deal with, or the loneliness epidemic as we as we're
saying called the biggest concern that folks have for us
is the addiction to technology slash lack of human human
interactions that we are having. So APPRAZI it to kick
us off saying, I guess the question I have for
you is of two questions. How have you been surviving

(20:20):
at a time when everything is so technology is centered
and what do you think we as millennials are struggling
with that maybe gen z folks aren't or how are
they shoggling differently in this age?

Speaker 4 (20:31):
Yeah, I love this question, and I really feel like
the way that you all started the conversation really flows
nicely with it. Because I'm a millennial. I was born
in nineteen eighty five. I remember when I got my
first cell phone. It was in twelfth grade. It was
that Nokia phone. I remember when I first got a
computer in my house. I was in seventh grade, and

(20:52):
it didn't go in my bedroom. It was like in
our computer room, the family computer exactly exactly. It was
like a big box, the monstrosity I remember getting. The
first time I ever played with social media, I think
I was in maybe like eighth grade or ninth grade.
It was the live journal days and yes, yes, early

(21:15):
social media, right, And so I remember very clearly, like
what my life was like before all of these things
were ubiquitous in my life, and then I remember what
my life was like after and then when technology was
just like part of your life, right. And so I
think as millennials we are digitally savvy, like we remember
what it was like to have these things and not

(21:35):
have these things. I think that for younger folks, they've
always had them, right like you, It's it's been ubiquitous
since they've been around. And so I think as millennials,
I get speak for myself. I think that I am
much more comfortable with the idea that these technologies come
and go.

Speaker 5 (21:53):
It's a shifting landscape.

Speaker 4 (21:54):
You know, ASTech, the my like there was a time
in my life where MySpace I could not imagine not
having my Space. I could not plan a night out
without MySpace. I could not understand my friend group without MySpace.
And then it came and then it went. And so
I think that millennials are in this interesting position where
we've seen a lot of things come and go and
seen a lot of changes. And I don't know that

(22:16):
that younger folks, the younger generation has that has that understanding.
And so I do I get concern because I got
the benefit of a childhood and an adolescence and a
young adulthood where you know, social media was just becoming
a thing, and I am so sometimes grateful for that

(22:37):
that I didn't have to grow up where it was
like I was always aware of how it was going
to shape my experience as a young person.

Speaker 5 (22:43):
And so, you know.

Speaker 4 (22:44):
From everything I'm reading, it does sound like social media
offers these great benefits for young people to connect and
find community online, especially for queer youth, trans youth, youth
that feel like they're the only, you know, the only
one like them in their community. But I hate that
it's this double edged sword where it also offers all

(23:04):
of these negative things as well. It's a real double
edged swort of negative and positive.

Speaker 1 (23:09):
M Yeah, I was gonna speak to that. I was
gonna say, I think you know, that was the first
thing that immediately when I read this, Joeho, that was
the first thing that came to mind is how social
media is a double edged sword. And it's funny because
I actually follow someone who intentionally like his his whole
thing is on Instagram. His whole thing is I want

(23:30):
to show people my wins. But he also intentionally will
show all of his lows too, So he'll do, like
on one side of all of the wins that he
gets with his digital company, he'll he'll show like ten
different things that have happened to him in the week
that like could be considered like a low. And I
think about this a lot because I think for us
as gen z slash or millennials, for us as millennials

(23:53):
and even some gen Zers, I think what it is
is that social media has not even social media. I
think the Internet, the technology nessness of the world we
live in has really kind of set this precipice that
everything we do has to be grandiose, like everything that
you have to be you have to have the most followers,
you have to be on every single platform. You have

(24:15):
to be known on every single platform, and you also
have to have your own business. And it's funny too,
I keep tangenting. I'm sorry, but it's like I saw
a real earlier too. Right before I jumped on, there's
this beautiful black woman saying, Okay, y'all expect us to
do taxes, have a face routine, watch our gut health,
make sure that we're going to see our therapists, make
sure that we're going to work every day, but also

(24:36):
have a really strong social media presence, and make sure
we talk to our parents. There's like all of these
expectations that we as millennials have and it's she's like
that it's not possible. She's like, you can't. There's no
way anyone can do it all. And I think that
that's been, in my opinion, one of the things with
technology that has been so detrimental to us is that

(24:56):
we're expected to just be always on while also being
so aware of everything, and it's just it's sometimes is
very exhausting.

Speaker 4 (25:06):
Preach I am, I'm I'm really, I'm right there with you.
I feel this every single day. And I also think
it's this like ultra capitalistic pressure to be always branding yourself,
so you can't just have a like nice experience. You
have to figure out, like how do I package this
to make it speak to my brand and so that

(25:26):
like I can maybe get a partnership deal. Like I
hate that I now have this voice in the back
of my head that I really work hard to turn
down when I'm having an experience. This is like, oh,
how can I like make this look a certain way
for the gram because everything needs to be packaged that way.
But like we do live in this in this in
just it's exhausting capitalistic society that tells us every experience

(25:49):
you have you have to be using it to sell yourself,
sell your brand, build your brand, Like and I do think,
like I don't know, like I'm an entrepreneur. I know
that you all are entrepreneurs. I do feel like we're
in this space where it's like nobody can just exist anymore.
You have to be like a girl boss. You have
to be like selling yourself all the time everywhere, Like
can't you just exist and like enjoy doing the things

(26:12):
that you enjoy doing, Like everything has to be for this,
like you know, brand building exercise, and it is exhausting.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
Yeah, well, I mean it definitely is like the the
running joke is if you enjoy something but then captured it,
did you actually enjoy it?

Speaker 5 (26:27):
Right?

Speaker 2 (26:27):
Right?

Speaker 3 (26:28):
Like if people don't see it, what did actually happen?

Speaker 2 (26:31):
And it's like, yeah, we are so much more separated
from our i RL lives than before or yeah, I'm like,
was that was a redundant IRL lives?

Speaker 1 (26:42):
You know? And that's the thing, like, no, joho, it's real.
It's it's you know, even for me, like you know,
you all saw last week. You know, I did a
thing with next Door, And while I can't share what
I did with next Door yet, it is it is
very much. There was still this pressure for me to
feel like I had to have my phone out at

(27:03):
every scene and it was a retreat, like we did stuff,
but the whole concept was it's a retreat for people
to turn off, and there was still people with their
phones out trying to get photos of the food and
trying to get photos of the building we were in
and trying and it's just like girl, like you always
like you're so right, bridget that. It's like, if you're

(27:24):
not a brand, if you're not a walking brand, do
you even matter? And I think that's the hard part
of being a millennial. So I think this is a
really good part to kind of a really great segue
in the sense because while we've talked about kind of
like the ups and downs and the ebbs and the
flows that we feel of being in this world around technology,
I think with being a quote unquote brand or being

(27:45):
someone so for you, like obviously, right your show is
called you know, there are no black girls on the internet, right,
And so it's kind of this notion of of what
it's like to be in a space that you don't
see yourself. And I know that because again we get
him over here for being black fat fems, I can
only imagine the hell you get for being a black
woman who's speaking out about the injustices you see both

(28:08):
online and off. So I guess one of the questions
that I have, as all three of us love technology
and having a podcast that focuses on your experiences, how
have you navigated kind of how how have you worked
to build or shape your relationship with the internet, Like
what are some of the things that you kind of

(28:30):
have to watch out for, What are some of the
things that you maybe are reworking or relearning, being that
we're getting so many messages in a day.

Speaker 4 (28:38):
Yeah, you're kind of catching me at an interesting time
because I'm doing a lot of intentional shifting around my
relationship with technology. I would say the two biggest things
I'm the two biggest changes I'm making in terms of
how I show up online is one just overall showing
up less and having that be okay.

Speaker 5 (28:57):
The very same thing you were just speaking to.

Speaker 4 (28:59):
The exhaustion and a feeling like you have to be
everywhere all at once online branding yourself YadA YadA, YadA.
That really, I mean, it sounds like a weird thing
to say, but I was feeling very burnt out from that.
And I think also, if you are a creative person,
you know, I make a podcast and I love the
audio medium and that's incredibly important to me. But in
order to market the podcast, I also have to make

(29:21):
content on social media. I don't think of myself as
a social media content producer, but yet here I am.
And so like, I'm really trying to refocus on the
things that I know that I'm good at that bring
that I think like add value to my life and
to the lives of people who like to, you know,
be in community with me, and the stuff that I
feel like is just kind of feels like, oh, why.

Speaker 5 (29:41):
Am I doing this.

Speaker 4 (29:42):
I'm kind of letting it go, so I'm showing up
less and less on online spaces. I still show up
there in ways that I think bring me joy and
bring me, you know, fulfillment, but.

Speaker 5 (29:52):
I just I can't do it anymore. It's like I
have to choose.

Speaker 4 (29:55):
What it is that I want to be good at,
and that's making podcasts, that's making content that I like.
I don't really like this feeling like I have to
jump through whatever new hoops Mark Zuckerberg rolls out about
how to perform well on Instagram.

Speaker 5 (30:09):
That would be a full time job, and I already
have a.

Speaker 3 (30:11):
Full time job, so it's right, I'm.

Speaker 5 (30:13):
For it, not doing it. So that's one two.

Speaker 4 (30:17):
I would say, really being choosy about where I put
my energy online, because, as I'm sure y'all know, there
are a million trolls out there who would love it
if you spent your whole day just going back with them,
and you know what, I'm not going to do it, Like,
I only have so much energy in the day and
I don't want to dedicate that to people who will

(30:38):
never see the humanity in me.

Speaker 5 (30:39):
So what's the point anyway, you know, it's just so yeah.

Speaker 4 (30:43):
So there was a time in my life where I
would spend a lot of time, you know, back and
forth on Twitter, back and forth on the comments, you know,
reading the like messed up racist comments people will leave
on my podcast, and then then like read them on
the air and be like, oh, and now I'm like,
you know what, I don't I don't have extra energy
to dedicate to that anymore.

Speaker 5 (31:03):
And I'm choosing peace.

Speaker 4 (31:06):
And then I would say, lastly, just in service of
trying to show up differently online during it, at the
height of the pandemic, I think I, like a lot
of us, was spending.

Speaker 5 (31:18):
More and more and more of my time online and.

Speaker 1 (31:21):
Yes, you know, lived in front of a computer exactly.

Speaker 4 (31:25):
And I think, now I'm really trying to be intentional
about getting out into my IRL community. That's a privilege
for me that like I can like go out of
my community and feel good about it, feel safe doing it,
you know, have the ability to do it. That's you know,
I have all of that privilege. But I realized I
was like I haven't actually been out in my community
connected with people that are important to me in a

(31:46):
really long time.

Speaker 5 (31:46):
And I think I really had.

Speaker 4 (31:48):
Some baggage from all that time spent in front of
my computer and on my phone in like twenty twenty
and twenty twenty one.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yeah, my god, Well I feel that so much because
it makes you think about this sense of obligation, like
the idea of showing up less online, or at least
I have to struggled with a lot is I'm showing
up less online.

Speaker 3 (32:09):
But then people will reach out to me and.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
Say away, I miss you doing this and yeah this
and I wanted to my moment here, okay, And then
there's this like sense of like obligation because I also like,
because I've cultivated something online that's been a good comedians
good comedian in some way and like helpful for people.
But then I also like want to reclaim me as well.
So it's just like this tug of war of like

(32:31):
how do I reclaim me? And like or or not,
like how how do I reclaim me? And on the person.
But then, as I said, I'm like, but actually do
I owe the person that do I?

Speaker 3 (32:42):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (32:43):
Like the people quote unquote the people like like do
I owe them anything?

Speaker 3 (32:46):
Like I don't.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
I just owe myself something. And so like it's a
weird tension with like the idea of shifting your relationship
because I'm constantly thinking about how I can do that
as well too, because I'm I'm at a place where I,
like you, I don't I don't have.

Speaker 3 (33:02):
The energy investment anymore to give much more to online
things that I'm doing now.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
Like I think your point about making podcasts and then
branding it, it is not like that is not easy, right,
Like that shally is not easy. If you make your
own podcast, you often you often have to go through
like yeah, listen to your own listen to your own
show and find the right clip, time stamp it you
have video.

Speaker 3 (33:22):
I do that as like.

Speaker 2 (33:23):
Like like we are we like we're using a tool
currently that is that kind of like the keys that
that uses Uh John can I can you can't share
a little bit or.

Speaker 1 (33:34):
Yeah, I mean it's it helps us with finding the
right thoughts in our show to be out.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
Like it's this tool that is you that it's like
it's using AI to help identify like the best trends
what we're saying like it's weird because it's like it grades.

Speaker 3 (33:50):
Us like a minus.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
I'm speaking engagement, a minus on trend, a minus on
alignment of values. And part of me is like, okay, girl,
like you are a machine. You gotta tell us what
my values are and stuff.

Speaker 1 (34:00):
But interesting this week to see what it says in
regards it actually.

Speaker 2 (34:07):
Responds to me. It's like, don't but it's cool. But
it's cool because we like it's saving us time and
effer in that way. But it's all it's also making
us think deffinitely about branding. But it's also like about branding,
Like the whole tool is about how to brand ourselves.

Speaker 3 (34:21):
So it's it's just an interesting it's just an interesting thing.

Speaker 2 (34:23):
I want to type a bit deeper with you about
the idea of relationship, especially through a black lens. So
first I'll mention you get that your bios names that
you've gotten your start in this work teaching classes at
HU you know and and HBCU, and I believe I
believe culturely, as black folks, we have a different stake
in technology and how it's made.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
Slash used in than other culture communities.

Speaker 2 (34:47):
And so I'm curious if you have thoughts of how
the history of technology and for for black folks, how
the how the history of our relationship with technology has changed,
you know, over over the past year, maybe even ten years,
in the history of it, even like before then, if
you could grace us with that, Professor.

Speaker 4 (35:05):
Todd oh well, I mean, I oh, I haven't been
called that in a long time.

Speaker 5 (35:10):
It feels good.

Speaker 4 (35:13):
Yeah, Like there is not a part of technology or
the Internet or social media becoming ubiquitous in all of
our lives where black folks are not front and center.
We've always been there. The technology would not exist if
not for us. We were a part of every single
part of it, going back to the very beginning. And
I think that that is something that we are coming

(35:36):
into our power on. I think for a long time
people would either intentionally silence our voices, intentionally not tell
our stories, intentionally cut us out of this thing that
we created.

Speaker 5 (35:48):
But everybody knows.

Speaker 4 (35:50):
It doesn't matter if you're like a tech scholar or
just somebody who got there for smartphone yesterday. Everybody knows
that the Internet and social media would not be what
it is without us in every way. Imagine what like
what would Twitter have been like without black Twitter, right,
Like I know from talking to people who were there
that you know, in the early days of Twitter, before
Black Lives Matter started, people who ran it your Jack

(36:13):
Dorsey's of the world were sort of like, what is
this thing we've built?

Speaker 5 (36:15):
What are we going to use it for?

Speaker 4 (36:17):
And it was movements like Black Lives Matter that really
demonstrated the power of this platform. So if it wasn't
for Black Lives Matter and for black folks using their voices,
Twitter would would not be anything that anybody and that
would have wanted to buy, right. And so I think
that in the last ten years we have really kind
of seen big shifts around us, sort of like taking

(36:38):
up the space that is rightfully ours, Like technology is
our domain, our domain. Anybody who says anything else is
lying to you or they're uninformed. And so I think that,
you know, I was really heartened to see different ways
that like people with money, people with institutional power were
like supporting people. And I don't mean just like, oh,
I'll put your picture on our Instagram History month. I

(37:00):
mean like giving them money, giving them power, giving them
decision making, you know. And I think that I want
to live in a world where that is commonplace where
like we're not begging for what is actually rightfully ours. Right,
we have this fucked up dynamic where the people who
hold the power and the money and the decision making
power are not the people who make this technology.

Speaker 5 (37:23):
Worth showing up to.

Speaker 4 (37:24):
And I really hope that we continue to have this
this situation where like that is flipped, where us the
people who you know, get the engagement, get the eyeballs,
move the money, like actually should be the decision makers
are the ones who are holding more power when it
comes to tech.

Speaker 3 (37:42):
Ooh ooh heyes, period.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
I'm feel it too, right, Yeah, how.

Speaker 4 (37:53):
Many times like you all are our digital natives, you
all are movers and shakers in the space. You all
are masterful at, you know, getting engagement and getting people
to listen. And it's like the money should reflect that.
The money should go where there is talent and where
there is movement, and that is with y'all, and so
like that should be a given.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
Yeah, And to your point, I think the other big
part and this is something that I'm glad to see.
You know, I want to shout out Meredith, who has
the book coming out. You know, Black Twitter tried to
tell y'all, and a whole bunch of other books that
are coming out with more and more. I mean, I
even think April Rain is in a in a conversation
right now about how she utilized Twitter in order to

(38:35):
be able to gain the platform she had around Oscar
so White, and I think it's so imperative to note that.
I think also like hearing you speak about the black
people being at the center. It's so interesting to me
to see why Twitter it has has moved and shifted
the way it did. It's important to also note the
ways that black creators are silenced on TikTok and on Instagram.

(38:57):
It's because we oftentimes are the ones that's push the
narrative and the conversations around change. And I think that
there are a lot of individuals who don't want to
be held accountable, and so what's the easiest way to
not be held accountable, right, Silence us look for ways
to make sure that we don't have access.

Speaker 4 (39:14):
I mean, just look at the announcement that Meta made
where they're going to be deprioritizing what they're calling like
social and political content just a big broad bucket. And
it's so clear to me that what they're what they're
actually meeting is like black issues, queer issues, trans issues,
and if like the way that they are pretty much
being open about the fact that, like, you know what,

(39:35):
we don't really want our platform to be a place
where people are having those conversations that hold power to account.

Speaker 5 (39:41):
It's pretty much exublicit at this point.

Speaker 4 (39:43):
And so I think, you know, we have seen in
the last ten years people who are traditionally marginalized and
traditionally have a little bit of a harder time building
platforms and building like traditional power like we you know,
unless you work for the New York Times, you might
not be getting that op ed. We're able to use
technology to really build that power for ourselves. And I

(40:04):
see the ways that like all across the board, people
and decision makers are being like, we need to take
that away, whether it's Elon Musk buying Twitter and completely
changing it so that it's like unlikely that would ever
be a place that a Black Lives Matter could top
up again, or Instagram saying we're going to deprioritize political
and social content and like not really defining that, but

(40:25):
we all know what it means. I think that we're
seeing all of that because it is a way to
silence voices that have been holding power to account.

Speaker 3 (40:32):
Okay, that is so I think this is this is
such a great likely deptail to map the questions.

Speaker 2 (40:39):
So I'm gonna ask you another question. I know a
big part of your work has been finding this information
in the digital age, which is something that I imagine is
even more crucial, especially with the rise of AI as
it begins to I would say, AI may make cast
illusions on what truth is as well. So curious to
ask you what are some of the the biggest bearers

(41:01):
to accessing accurate information today and what are tools people
can use to fight miss slash disinformation themselves at home?

Speaker 5 (41:10):
My favorite question, Thank you for asking it.

Speaker 4 (41:13):
I would say this answer might not be what you're
looking for, but probably one of the biggest barriers I
have seen in terms of curbing inaccurate information, miss and
disinformation online is that it's like an incentivized ecosystem, right
Like people are incentive people and platforms are incentivized test

(41:33):
spread lies, if those lies are inflammatory, if those lies
are racist or homophobic, or transphobic or queer phobic, or
you know, anti black or anti fat, all the better, Right, Like,
how many times have you been scrolling and you'll see
a post on Instagram that's just like essentially shitting on.

Speaker 5 (41:52):
A black queer person or a black queer youth.

Speaker 4 (41:55):
And it gets so many comments and they'll always hide
it will be like thoughts question mark.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
Right, yeah, what you're doing?

Speaker 3 (42:02):
Yeah? Yes.

Speaker 4 (42:06):
The reason they do that is because it's effective, Because
that kind of garbage is always going to find a
welcome home on social media platforms because that's how they're built.
They're built to amplify that kind of inflammatory content. And
so I think until we break that system, until we
build a new system that does not amplify that kind
of nonsense and hate for clicks and engagement and money,

(42:30):
I don't know that we'll ever get anywhere.

Speaker 5 (42:31):
And yeah, I think.

Speaker 4 (42:33):
It's one of those those things where it's like we
need a whole new digital media ecosystem that does not
prioritize and amplify that kind of stuff. However, I do
think that there are steps that we can take in
absence of like a whole new digital media ecosystem. When
you see something a post on social media that you
think that doesn't sound true to me, or I'm not
sure if that's true, or a post that like gets

(42:55):
your heart racing, right, Like I know, for me the
Shade Room, I had to I had to like divest
from the shame from like it. It was too much, right,
And so when you content like that, take a take
a beat, take a breath. If you want to know
if it's true, throw it into Google, see if you
can find another source that's like confirming it, because a
lot of that stuff it's just like garbage. I think

(43:16):
it was a magna stallion that was like, oh, they'll
put anything on a black and white background and people
will believe it. But but really, like when you're using
the Internet, think of it almost as like a meditative practice.
Like when you see something that gets you upset, like
why does it upset you? Don't engage with content that
you know is like trying to be inflammatory to get
a rise out of people, because they're helping it spread, right,

(43:37):
Like break the cycle that helps this kind of rise
to the top.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
Yeah, And to your point, bridget, I also will say
one thing that I learned from Francesca Ramsey and past
guest friends of the show. I think it's very very
smart for us to do is if you see something
and you don't want to engage the actual company that
like put it out right, it's just screen cap it
and to use it as a photo and then comment

(44:02):
on it. Because what you're doing is is you're taking
away the engagement from the like you're messing up the
analytics around that in particular thing. And I've had to
do that a lot of times now, especially because I
am one of the clowns that pays for the premium
right for the check. But it was because I didn't
want people going after my name and creating fake accounts

(44:26):
around me. It was something that was suggested after I
had some issues when I did the stuff that I
did for Oh gosh, it was back in October when
I did the stuff that I did for for Forbes. Yeah,
I had a whole bunch of people making and saying
a lot of things around the stuff with Forbes, and
so my team was like, I think you should just

(44:46):
invest for the check so we can make sure that
everything that comes out of your account is your actual accounts.
And okay, bet, but all that to say, yes, like
look for ways to really you know the word, I
guess it's deaggregator. I don't know what the word is,
but really to basically fuck up the algorithms, Like we
have to figure out a way to fuck up the algorithms.

Speaker 3 (45:06):
And so I love that deprioritize them.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
They want to do parorize. Do you want to departise
deprioritize them, then.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
Yeah, for ways to fuck up the algorithms.

Speaker 4 (45:14):
I with so much to say about this, I'm so
glad that you. Like, first of all, that was so
like what you just described about verification. That was the
original intent of verification, that it was a lot of
racially marginalized activists and public active advocates who were being
harassed and so Elon Musk wants to make it be like, oh,
it's like you pay me and then I get richer
or whatever, but like that really is what started verification,

(45:38):
is people who were doing the kind of work that
you're doing, who were then being harassed for and as
we get to this climate where things like DEI is
now so like, I mean, like if you do that,
you are a public person who does DEI work, like
you gotta do what you gotta do to keep yourself safe,
and so I just want to like honor that that
you are doing what you should be doing. You're doing
the right things.

Speaker 1 (45:58):
Yeah, And and like I said, I hate the fact
that Elon is taking you know, taking money out of
my bank, but I also get money back. So that's
the other thing I tell people too, is that you know,
because I know that my poll, I know that people
sometimes like to take my post and run with them.
It also helps in the sense that I know I'm
gonna get a little bit of change back because of
the monetization. But I'd say that to say, it is

(46:21):
not as and this is something I have to remind people.
It is not as glamorous as people make it look.

Speaker 3 (46:25):
Right.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
Yes, I'm maybe getting one hundred dollars from Twitter for
a for a few tweets going viral for the month,
but I'm also dealing with people like I just recently
had someone take my picture from Forbes and put one
of the hats from like Donkey Kong and basically make it, yeah,
like basically insinuate that I'm a monkey from Donkey Kong. Right, Like,

(46:47):
these are the things that I'm dealing with. And you know,
my husband's sees it and he goes, how do you
deal with that? And I just go, I'm kind of
numb to it now, like I know that someone's gonna
make say something or do something, like even people downvoting
our show. Like I knew when I put this show
on the network that this show is going to be
one of the shows that came under attack. I get
it right. Anytime we do anything, we're going to we're

(47:07):
going to be the focal point. But I think it's
really important to note that, yes, what you said, Bridget
is so important. Do what you have to do on
these internet streets to protect yourself because at the end
of the day, there are a lot of people who
are watching and wanting to do whatever they can to
make sure that your voice is very much suppressed. So
I think this is a great question to kind of

(47:28):
close out on before we go into our next segment.
I did want to ask, you know, for folks who
look at me, who look at Joho, who look at
a Bridget Todd like me and say, I want to
be like, you know, Bridget Todd, when I get older,
what advice would you give them in terms of making
the digital streets their career, Like, what would you tell them?

(47:50):
What's something maybe young Bridget didn't know that older Bridget
now knows.

Speaker 5 (47:55):
Young I love this question.

Speaker 4 (47:57):
Young Bridget needed to know that you can go where
your heart is, go where you want to spend time.
Like I used to think that I had to be
doing something that was sort of like serious and high
minded to have value. But what I'm learning now is that,
like with podcasting, people are excited to hear you talk
about what excites you and that you can do what

(48:18):
it is that makes you happy and that you're passionate
about and like that like the money and the stability
and whatever else will come from that. If you're aligned
and what you want to be doing, that that is
how you really get you're where you want to be. Like,
don't tell yourself that like, oh I need to like
get a business degree so that I am able to
you know, do x y Z is like no, people

(48:39):
are people gravitate toward authenticity and passion and nerdiness whatever
that thing is that you nerd out about that you
could talk about forever.

Speaker 5 (48:46):
You should be talking about that, and people want to
hear you talk about that.

Speaker 3 (48:49):
Amen.

Speaker 1 (48:50):
Amen, Yes, And I say this to our listeners. There
are a lot of people who have jumped in our dms,
whether it be in the Black Fat fem podcast dms
or even my own personal dms. A questions about podcasting,
It's important for you to follow, folks. And I'm not
just saying this as a plug. I'm saying this because
a lot of the success that we have had around

(49:11):
Black Fat Femme comes from the blueprints that folks like
Bridget Todd has laid out that folks like Jaden XT
who are friends to the show have laid out to
you know, so many of other friends that you know,
I know, people always up, you know, uplift the read. Yes,
the read was you know they were. They were kind
of the catalyst for black people to find their voice
in podcasting. Yes, but there are so many great people

(49:33):
I don't even want to say others. There are so
many great people, including what Kid Fury and what Crystals
are doing in order to be able to uplift that voice. So,
if you are interested in sharing your voice, there's somebody
somewhere that is is listening and wanting to hear it.
So I love that you say that, Bridget. It's really
I think it's really important and it's very timely.

Speaker 2 (49:53):
Ooh, this conversation is amazing, Like I just want to
say true, this will be one of my favorite conversations ever,
Like this is fantastic, thank you, thank you, and I'm
I'm so serious, like I like, I really truly do
mean that. I really truly truly you mean that. That
being said, though, like all good shooting services, we got

(50:14):
to take one quick moment to buffer.

Speaker 3 (50:15):
I hate so be back after this quick break.

Speaker 1 (50:25):
All right, y'all, and we are back, so with us
having what I like to call the Queen of Tech
in the room, I was thinking about this, and so
we're gonna go ahead and jump into our how you
heal in segment with the idea and again this is
something that bridget Todd mentioned earlier. I think it's also
really important for us to really think about this right.
Social media often has a way or I would say

(50:48):
can and I will even say this like I'm going
off script. It was funny because every Tuesday morning we record.
We recorded various days throughout the week, but some some mornings,
specifically Tuesday mornings. After post on all the socials of
the videos for the show, because the show drops every
Tuesday morning, and the first site that I went on
was linked in and as I was going to post

(51:11):
the actual like video of the show, I saw someone
announce something and I was like, why the fuck did
I allow myself to make linked in the first app
that I opened in the morning to do this work? Right? So,
like I make that point in talking about depression how
social media, Like It's not that I'm I'm sad that
someone else got a victory, right, Like I'm always so

(51:33):
happy when someone else gets a victory. But I think
social media has a way of feeding us and beating
us up and basically saying you're not good enough because
that victory didn't happen to you, right, And So, thinking
of all of what I just said, the other thought
that you put out that I think is so important
is the need to constantly be on I wanted to

(51:54):
dive a bit deeper into kind of that and the
wellness side, and I initially had another question, but I
scrapped it, and I'm going to ask this for the
how you healing. I know that Francisca Ramsey does it
a lot. I've seen other people do too. I even
seeing April do it for a quick moment with Instagram.
This idea of us spending so much time online and saying,
you know what, screw this, I need to disconnect. Wanting

(52:17):
to just ask, like, how does someone like yourself who
has kind of built their whole world around technology kind
of disconnect? And I, even for myself, am learning to
disconnect more. I will say that my note that I
had for myself was I if, intentionally, even if I
have a million things to do, and I think that's
in part why yesterday was so busy for me. I
intentionally did not turn on or open up my computer

(52:40):
on Saturday or Sunday. And I've told myself that from
here going out from the top of twenty twenty four,
I said, I refuse to open my computer up on
Saturday or Sunday if it is not dire to something else.
And I think that's one way I've been able to
disconnect more. But yeah, what are some methods you use?
And then joho, I would love to hear your all.

Speaker 4 (53:01):
Oh again, this is one of my favorite topics. I
love to disconnect. Make it a little too much, Yes,
So I keep my a couple of just like like
concrete tips. I keep my phone in grayscale mode so
that like the there's no colors on my phone, and
so you can you can like you can set it
up so that you can push the if you have

(53:22):
an iPhone, push the power button three times to have
it go from color to gray. But my phone is
in grayscale mode like ninety percent of the time, and
I just find that it get it like, I look
at it less because it's less attractive to me. And
you know, tech companies, they spend millions and millions of
dollars to make when you look at your phone or computer,
to make all this stuff go off in your brain

(53:43):
that make you want to keep looking at your phone
and keep scrolling. And so I like to find these
little ways of trying to break that cycle. So my
phone is generally in grayscale mode, which really helps me unplug.
I don't when I wake up in the morning, I
don't use my phone. I try on a good day,
it's for the first hour, or in reality, it's like
the first thirty minutes, if I'm really being honest.

Speaker 5 (54:04):
But like, yeah, I was planning.

Speaker 4 (54:06):
I was like sleeping with it under my pillow, and
the very first thing I would do when I would
open my eyes is check my phone. And so I
would just start my day before I'm even really awake.
I'm starting my day with all of these like external
pressures and questions and needs and nags that weren't even
really I didn't even really wake up with. I was
just like waking up and putting that on. And so

(54:28):
just giving yourself a little bit of time. I think
it's good in the morning. The writer Tressy Cottom, she
has this great thing that I saw that I'm started doing,
which is I work with my laptop unplugged, and so
when my laptop battery dies, that's a cue for me
to get up and take a break as well.

Speaker 5 (54:46):
And then I just love like being offline.

Speaker 4 (54:49):
I love being in nature. I love going for hikes.
I love you know, not everybody is like an outdoorsy girlie,
but you know, yeah, but like even if it's it
sounds like I was like, there might.

Speaker 5 (55:00):
Be some disagreement on this.

Speaker 3 (55:05):
I love outdoors.

Speaker 1 (55:08):
Is Joho is the nature girl? I I posted something
about this a couple of weeks ago. I like nature,
but I like to like experience nature in a car.
So yes, I agree. I love to see nature, the nature,
the thought of walking in.

Speaker 3 (55:25):
Nature.

Speaker 1 (55:26):
I'm with you. Yes, let's get in the car, let's go.

Speaker 4 (55:30):
Even if your idea of being out in nature is
like brunch outside, find your little way to do it
and think like unplugging is so important and like you know,
it'll be there when you get back. Whatever the thing
is on Instagram or LinkedIn, it'll be there when you
when you go back to it.

Speaker 1 (55:46):
That fucking LinkedIn I swear it's just ruining lives since
like whatever year it was created, I could spend a
whole week talking about how much I hate LinkedIn, but so.

Speaker 2 (55:57):
I so I I also I have and then it
in this past few weeks, like I've just been the
past few weeks, I've been really attached to my phone,
which has been I've been in This morning I woke up,
I was like like I was when I woke up,
and I.

Speaker 3 (56:07):
Constantly was like why did you phone on your hand?

Speaker 2 (56:09):
Girl? Like why why is you on your hand? Because
I typically a person who also or at least like
what what when the pandemic began for like for two
and a half years for sure the first hour, like
I went for a walk and I like I read
like I did not, I didn't touch my phone. I
like I like ignored it like I I had. It
was on D and D if my mom or my
best friend called, then it would ring. Besides, I like

(56:31):
I didn't do anything for it. And lately I I
lately I'm going to bed later and waking up later,
so like my sense of time is off, so I
like wake up, I maybe get my phone, so I'll
have to get out to go and work and all
these things. But like right, if I can, if I
could dig back into my optimal life, which is like
being a riser by six thirty or seven, then I can.

Speaker 3 (56:48):
I can do the first hour not having to be
on my technology.

Speaker 2 (56:52):
Likely eight am is like when things have to happen,
I have hanging on. But the hour of the sweet
spot of seven. If I can be off an hour,
that would work for me.

Speaker 3 (57:00):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
I love the gray Ski idea bridge. I have not
done that before. That's a genius idea because I have
it on warm tones like to produce blue light.

Speaker 3 (57:08):
But I think I think I might do that.

Speaker 2 (57:10):
I might do like the like the gray skill, like
at least at nighttime, like when I think it's dark,
go on gray Skill, so I feel less interested in
being on my phone.

Speaker 3 (57:18):
I used to also for uh uh for Shabbot.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
I would I would not use my phone from Friday
night just to start to set to sign up to
observed shpot for me and with what that looked like
was just like I wasn't on I was on social media,
that that was my big thing. Like so in Coma
texted me. I responded, but I wouldn't be on social
media because that is where I spend a lot of
my time. I think it's improperate. I think this is

(57:44):
a reason why, like I would really I want to
like find a way it's like advocate accessible public Wi Fi,
because I too, like love nature and like I mean,
I have a hot spot, so think a hot spot
but in the privilege to afford having a hot spot.
But like if there's public WiFi, how much more empower
would all be to leave our homes and go work
at a park somewhere. And even that would be amazing,

(58:05):
right because even though we aren't just connecting the sense
of like you're still bringing your work to a park,
like you're more apt to actually like close it for
for a little bit.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
And then do something else, you know, like that would
be so so nice.

Speaker 2 (58:16):
Due today this morning I went, I had I love
I love that I live in an area where like
things are accessible in the sense of I went to
take my car into the shop get repaired, and there's
a coffee shop like three bucks away, so I walk
to the cofee shop and.

Speaker 3 (58:30):
Work on the patio and that was really great too.

Speaker 2 (58:31):
And like then the weather it's not today white nice today,
And so I think, like I think what I would
say for folks if you can't like actually just connect
from like the technology, because that's a very real thing, right,
Like we end of the day, so much of our
lives is so rooted in technology, so we cannot actually
abandon it, but we can abandon life of spaces in
which we have to consume the technology. And if we

(58:52):
are able to go out different spaces, like change up
our rhythm of saying I don't have to be at
home today, I can actually go to a park or
a coffee shop where I can go into this place.
You know, like that that is important because I think,
right because so much more so much work now, so
much work now is remote and people are at home.
And then in the same memeund right, like if you
work in an office, seeing what your with your where

(59:13):
your office can do about like creating more like out
outdoor public space to enjoy nature like so many so
many buildings when business have buildings where it's like you
can easy set some tables up outside to work like
I often missed. I missed my previous shop in many
many days because we had this sixteen to seven and
a half acre property to work on, Like I could
literally work anywhere and see a farm and see the ocean.

(59:36):
That felt so so good. It's important for folks to
disconnected because like we are increasingly, as we've named so
many times in this episode, increasingly become more and more
attached to technology, and like our like our our technology
is has been important. It has been important to us,
but it like like it won't save us in like

(59:58):
like in many occasions like like like no and you.
It will not save us from from from from like
from racism, It will not save us from outation, It
will not save us from police like it will not
save us from so many things. And we have we
have to really simpletant for us to reconfigure what our
relationship relationship to it is because we are investing all
of ourselves into like making people rich by using it,

(01:00:21):
but they are investing nothing into us with our actual.

Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
Use of it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:25):
And so like when we can, we can remind ourselves
of that, we like we can run ourselves like.

Speaker 3 (01:00:30):
We we actually owe ourselves. We are we are, We
owe ourselves more.

Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
Investment than than than than the what we're giving and
not to me.

Speaker 3 (01:00:37):
Is why I think it's important for us to find
ways wait, wait, wait, ways to disconnect.

Speaker 1 (01:00:42):
And then let the church say them no, no, none,
not one.

Speaker 3 (01:00:48):
To be had.

Speaker 1 (01:00:49):
Uh. So, while we go ahead and pass around the
collection plate, and that past Joe ho' daniels or mother
of the church, uh going had to take a quick break.
She needs to make sure she gets some water. Uh.
You know what, Chris, you could go ahead and put
in some church hymns here. You can just go ahead
and put it in a good Yeah, well, go ahead,

(01:01:12):
put in a good church organ. We're gonna take one
more break, and when we get back, we're gonna dive
into y'all's favorite segment. Yes, ma'am, Yes, we'll be back
in a second. Amen, Church Amen. All right, So this

(01:01:36):
is uh your favorite segment where we just basically go
off about the things that we love and the things
that we hate for the week. And so I'm gonna
go ahead and start and then miss Todd, I'm gonna
go ahead and throw it over to you, and then
Joho will close out with you and it'll just it'll
be a good time for us to ki ki. So
since me doing this, I have some updates to things

(01:01:57):
that I that I want to talk about, and we're
probably gonna ge into them, because I'm sure we all
probably all have a through line around one of the
ones that I'm gonna mention. But the first one I
definitely wanted to say is that it is fucked welve
forever over here. I Am not one of those girls
who's going to go up for the police or all
of the stuff that's happening in our government, because we
do know that we are systematically oppressed in a lot

(01:02:20):
of these spaces, right. But I did want to definitely
say that I appreciate when we get some glimpse of justice,
and I definitely wanted to speak out and say that
I am grateful to see that Dime Doe has gotten
some sort of of what's the word uplift mint right
at least we're hearing more about her story and we're

(01:02:42):
seeing the person who slain her back in twenty twenty
nineteen basically get their come up ince for what they
did to her. And so while folks on trial had
a hard time giving the assailant a guilty verdict, this
week they did find motives in his text messages to
basically take her life. And while I'm not happy to

(01:03:02):
be seeing him go to prison, I am very happy
that folks who knew her and and and and were
affected by her are seeing justice. And I hope that
this sends a bigger message out to the world that
black trans lives, specifically black trans women's lives matter, and
that we are that we are all working collectively to

(01:03:22):
hold folks accountable for the ways that life and society
tries to harm them. So uh, don do we speak
your name and we uplift you in this moment. So
with that also being said, I want to shout out
just some of my uh and that was kind of
the thing I wanted to add in just someone so
I had went to last week, I went to h

(01:03:43):
shout out to Jared and Travaille an amazing show. There
they did a live show with their book, the book
that they did together, which is na A CP nominated
We've mentioned it here before Black phrases, historical Black phrases,
the name of the book, and I wanted to just
say there was a person who was on the panel

(01:04:05):
that had made the note to that a lot of
black people, specifically folks in DEI, people who are doing
stuff and have been doing a lot of stuff. We're
all kind of losing our incomes and we're seeing a
lot of stuff dry up. I just wanted to big
up and shout out anyone, specifically trans women and non
binary people who are still making the thing happen. It
was very beautiful to see Trevella up there, just shining,

(01:04:29):
and it was almost I'm trying not to get emotional,
as you all can hear, it is very beautiful just
to see black trans people and black non binary people thrive.
And so the people who rock with us over here,
the people who keep giving us compliments, the folks that
are looking for ways to put us on, I just
want to say that I'm forever grateful and thankful that
y'all continue to see us in our light, especially when

(01:04:51):
we're dealing with so much in this world. So that's
my yes, ma'am for the week. The folks who are
out here getting their come up and the people who
we are getting in trouble for the things that they do,
and the people that are continuing to do the damn thing.
And I keep saying that because I feel like it
needs to be said now. My no, man, Pam, it's
very quick. It's also so I also want to say,

(01:05:14):
I don't know the man's name, Brian, who is out
here telling he's basically suing Hollywood because he feels like
he is a white man who is not getting his
fair share of deals and no one's just told him, sir,
you're not getting jobs because you're a bad writer. Okay,
So there's just kind of that. So I just wanted

(01:05:35):
to just kind of say a big fuck you to
anyone in the industry who's trying to say that black
people are taking jobs. That's not real. It's not a thing.
We need to get rid of that. But I also
want to say fuck you to brands who don't carry
three x or four XL in store, Like, what was
the reasons this? What was the reason why why can

(01:05:57):
I go into a store up but sure and walk
out with it like this? And this spawns from like,
so I don't want I'm not just hell I can't
fit nothing that they make anyway, so fear of God.
Like I saw their line and I was like, oh
my god, that jacket is so cute. And I went
to the website. Two X was the highest, and I'm going, who,

(01:06:20):
who do I know that is a two X? Everybody
I know is a three x? Are bigger? Like, come on, girl,
Like this is not me calling you out, calling you in.
Can you just make something for us so I can
Like what do.

Speaker 5 (01:06:35):
You hate money? Right?

Speaker 2 (01:06:37):
Like it only works for you in the end, Like
it actually only helps you more. You're always saying that
you want people to invest more, but you won't give us.

Speaker 1 (01:06:47):
Now fat people a chance to wear your stuff. Okay, girl,
all right, so that's just my nomaan Pam brands who
don't who Just for the love of all things holy,
can we just get three XL, four x five EXL.

Speaker 3 (01:07:01):
Can we at least come from my old Navy. I'm
still my old Navy.

Speaker 2 (01:07:04):
Who have brought them in the store and then took
them back out after like six months, Like even though
it was shown that people were buying them in the store,
I'm like, you're telling me that people came in and
bought the three x's and four xs that you had there,
and then you were like, we take it back.

Speaker 5 (01:07:24):
Down.

Speaker 1 (01:07:24):
Shoes live in a circus, we really do. We live
in just clown shoes for everybody. Oh maybe should sell
clown shoes. All of their people that work there should
wear them. No shape to old navy. I'm just saying
it just doesn't make any sense. Like if we're living
in a capitalistic world and I'm saying I want something
to wear, then why wouldn't you just make it so

(01:07:46):
I could give you my money?

Speaker 3 (01:07:47):
Your capitalism isn't capitalizing right now?

Speaker 2 (01:07:49):
Like what do you do? We have to tell you
how it works? What sense you know?

Speaker 1 (01:07:57):
I'm done, I'm done.

Speaker 3 (01:07:58):
I'm just And how you invente? And then suck it up?
Like how do you stuffle your own bag? That's the
real question.

Speaker 1 (01:08:07):
For you, Oh bridgie, what are your yes ma'am's and
nomams for this week?

Speaker 4 (01:08:12):
So my yes ma'am is, did you all see that
uh Willy Wonka?

Speaker 5 (01:08:18):
Fas?

Speaker 1 (01:08:19):
Yes I did? I did?

Speaker 4 (01:08:21):
Did you specifically see the character the like AI generated character,
the unknown, so the.

Speaker 5 (01:08:29):
Picture thing that was drawn, so the unknown.

Speaker 4 (01:08:33):
In this like like wacky Willy Wonka scam production. They
used AI to generate a script like a Willy Wonka
esque script, and instead of there being Willy Wonka, the
main character of this is a shadowy chocolate making figure
called the Unknown who has like long black hair and
wears a silver mask. So my yes, ma'am is finding

(01:08:55):
out that the Unknown, who has kind of become this
iconic character on social media.

Speaker 5 (01:08:59):
Is a black woman.

Speaker 4 (01:09:00):
Well, a TikTok where she was like, the actress who
played the Unknown was like, yeah, nobody knows what I
look like because I'm wearing a mask.

Speaker 5 (01:09:08):
I saw a TikTok where she takes off her mask
and she's a black woman.

Speaker 3 (01:09:11):
I noticed.

Speaker 4 (01:09:12):
Right, she's become an icon. She's the moment, she has
a point.

Speaker 1 (01:09:18):
Yes, you said she's the moment she has now come
on now yes she is My yes, ma'am, okay, I
know that's right.

Speaker 4 (01:09:28):
Mm my nom'am, pam is it has to go to
Elon Musk for so many things, but specifically that for
Black History Month, Tesla allegedly ordered four thousand pies from
a black woman owned bakery and then sip Her canceled
the order, so this woman was out like sixteen thousand

(01:09:50):
dollars and then Elon was like, oh, I'm gonna make good,
and he made good by paying her two thousand dollars,
so not the sixteen k that she was out. Uh
so that is my I know, ma'am Pam for the week.

Speaker 1 (01:10:05):
You know what, Will Pearson listens to this show. So
I'm not gonna say what I'm thinking, but go ahead,
I will. You'll just have to forgive me. I just
I'm not gonna say it, but I just want you
all to know.

Speaker 3 (01:10:21):
I just that is so like that is just our behavior.
That's just our behavior. Like He's.

Speaker 1 (01:10:32):
Like you.

Speaker 3 (01:10:35):
Most likely make.

Speaker 2 (01:10:36):
Two thousand dollars in probably one actual minutes of life,
like you like it truly would have been nothing. There's
a fine line between people like I get that people
are like, well, people who got money like don't spend it.
So like that's like that's that's how they keep it.
I'm like, sure, work, but like the dude has so

(01:10:57):
much money, like literally he will spend it, will come
right back the like the next hour. That makes wow, people,
that's just like some kind of evil to be like, yes, yes,
there's a sickness behind there's there's there and I'm just
that's the only thing I can call it.

Speaker 1 (01:11:15):
There's a sickness behind that kind of privilege, like when
you start to when you start to fuck with other
people's livelihood and you you kind of like just write
it off that there's something else that's there. That's the
only way I can justify it in my heart.

Speaker 2 (01:11:31):
I mean, it's giving narcissism, it's giving ego, like it's
like it's it's it's giving these things like of course
he has. But I'm like, oh my god, Like that's
just why I really hope. I hope this woman gets
gets some way to get some way to get back
at him that I praise that he has, that he
has come up and so he and that, and that

(01:11:53):
she robs him of some like she takes everything everything,
like that's what she deserves.

Speaker 3 (01:12:00):
Period, Like who Okay, that I'm not I'm like, actually, man,
because also because I know people who would do.

Speaker 2 (01:12:07):
That, and I'm like, that is that is just like
outlash behavior in this world.

Speaker 3 (01:12:12):
Who are you Like?

Speaker 2 (01:12:15):
That's fine, It's fine because I know one day when
he meets God or whoever's above, they're gonna be like, girl,
why why are you up here?

Speaker 1 (01:12:25):
Spanish wherever, she's gonna be real hot and a throne.

Speaker 3 (01:12:31):
Shame, shame, just boiling being thrown at him forever.

Speaker 2 (01:12:38):
Anyways, my so, my his man Pam will be really simple.
It's just the evolution of those like We're blank videos
like those just those took me so much. People are
so crafted with them. But now they've gone like like
but now they've gone to like, we're so and so
of course we do this and then some and then
the phone goes down.

Speaker 3 (01:12:57):
They're like, what are you saying? We don't do that?
Don't say that ship like that just makes me. That
makes me cackle, like I seen someone.

Speaker 2 (01:13:04):
And something who the fuck says this like it is?

Speaker 1 (01:13:08):
It is a wild I don't catch heat for this,
but I love the Asian one. Did you see the
one with the age in front of the fountain. Yeah,
and then you can't say.

Speaker 3 (01:13:20):
You can't say you just chries, you can't say that,
And she's like, but it's true. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:13:24):
He's like, I mean, yeah, Chris, I really hope you
believe what I said because I don't want to.

Speaker 3 (01:13:29):
Yeah, Like a lot of me, i'd be scream because
she believes, like, but it's true.

Speaker 2 (01:13:35):
Tell them and the guy was like, I mean, yeah,
it's true, but like what, like y'all are doing the
most with this, and.

Speaker 3 (01:13:43):
I love to see it, Like I love to see it.

Speaker 1 (01:13:45):
I hate that we're here, but yes, I am also
here for these that it's just starting to Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:13:53):
I mean, so some of it is going too far.
I'm like, you actually never had to make this and
I had.

Speaker 2 (01:13:57):
I mean, and there are some people that I do
it so well that like people don't like some people
do it like so well, like they do it and
it's actually satire.

Speaker 3 (01:14:06):
People don't always get.

Speaker 2 (01:14:07):
That like thing that one was very very sterical that
people were like, but like I'm like, oh, like like
she's like she's discussing like that fetishes. But also that
shit was funny as well. Okay, so my no, ma'am pam.

Speaker 3 (01:14:20):
So hmm.

Speaker 2 (01:14:23):
The plus size girls, the fat girls are fighting right now.
There is a there is a human. There's a human
who is out.

Speaker 3 (01:14:34):
We'll say they are now an ex fat.

Speaker 2 (01:14:36):
We can say that, we can tell we can say
that they are or no they because they they they
would still be plus sized, they still be plus sized,
but they have deemed fat acceptance community occult, and so
they're somebody who like they profit off of being fat,
probably like.

Speaker 1 (01:14:53):
For bridges, being.

Speaker 3 (01:14:55):
Is like but I think I know who it is.

Speaker 1 (01:14:59):
Yeah, bleep it say it, bleep it.

Speaker 3 (01:15:03):
So okay. So so so the girl.

Speaker 2 (01:15:07):
Like and she did she don like a whole like
five minute video like detaelling how much of a cult
and like indoctrination the fat community is. And it was
wild because they she had used like she used like
private videos of people. It was just it was really
it was like I was like this this is some

(01:15:27):
this is some elon behavior right here.

Speaker 3 (01:15:29):
Like this is okay and so okay.

Speaker 2 (01:15:32):
And so if it started because this person, this person
has had has it has an intentional weight loss, they
they end up like they their influencer for like fat
fashion and food and like they and they they experienced
some health challenges and conditions that they decided to change
their They tried to change their like their lifestyle, make

(01:15:54):
decisions in their lives right and then and then led
to intentional weight loss and they feel like the healthiest
verssion themselves and like live off of that for them,
go off like that's your journey girl. Work and so
but in that work, they they had launching a market
like a marketing business, and they lost a few clients
because of it. And one person in the committee who

(01:16:16):
is who works in the fat liberation community. In fact,
this committee like end up making a video called the
person out, but like not calling the person out exactly,
not saying the name, just saying like what did what
they've seen? And it like it was a great video
because it talked about like the issue isn't that you
have lost weight.

Speaker 3 (01:16:33):
The issue is not you have intentional weight loss.

Speaker 2 (01:16:35):
The issue is that you have done that while shitting
on fat folks and trying to tell fat folks that
they aren't healthy, that they will die, that they will
get these things, like it is very real that this
person was I understand that this person with their doctor
was discussing like like approaching heart challenges and like and

(01:16:55):
like and and you know, I me know different deficiency
deficient deficiency challenges so they may change themselves and like great,
like again like love it for them. But the way
they have now called this community a cult to me
is wild.

Speaker 3 (01:17:09):
I'm like, first of all, they she really.

Speaker 2 (01:17:12):
Taught She's like that that community cult makes you think
it's fine to be yourself.

Speaker 3 (01:17:17):
And they think they just want you to be unhealthy.
And it's like girl, like literally like no one I'm
saying that, like literally.

Speaker 2 (01:17:22):
Like you have a you have the worst idea of
what facceptance work is actually like like one, it is
a justice movement rooted in make sure that that as
fat folks we have meaningful access to participation in society,
that we have access and equity in terms of healthcare,
access and equity in seats on planes or theme parks,
that we have like.

Speaker 3 (01:17:42):
Things built for our bodies and mind.

Speaker 2 (01:17:45):
Yes, it can be about like living yourself in any
size and and but like the root of it is
to actually make systemic change in the world and like
to not be seen as like as like not be
vilified or other in society. And so the fact that
she's made it this thing which is not is just wild.
And people have lit people have like just ripped her up,

(01:18:07):
ate her up in the comments, and I actually lived
for it.

Speaker 3 (01:18:10):
It's interesting because like some like some some some.

Speaker 2 (01:18:13):
Of her responses are like like some Some some responses
are like, well, well you just gave me engagement, so
like thank you, And I'm like, okay, so did you
do this with the engagement?

Speaker 3 (01:18:22):
Are you doing this because you think.

Speaker 2 (01:18:25):
You just did this like like this to be this person.
But it's also why because like I just like this
person is someone that either even I had followed right
and like I am happy for her if she is
living like the way she wants to live it, like.

Speaker 3 (01:18:42):
I am happy for her.

Speaker 2 (01:18:43):
Like and if she had just lost the weight and
didn't like it, just like yeah, I lost weight, like
for myself, y'all. But like I think you all have
any of your lives, like I would have been like,
go off this.

Speaker 3 (01:18:57):
I love that. I will still follow you in the
day of time. And now my girl, like.

Speaker 1 (01:19:02):
You like you have to go, you have to go.

Speaker 3 (01:19:05):
But this is just it's just it's just wild. It's
just it's just wild.

Speaker 2 (01:19:07):
And so I just so nomadam to her because she
I'm just talking a lot about this like her, because
she what is like is vilifying fat folks, wifying the
fat community in the fact ccept this libration community has
when that's not you like using like using content from
people that it just feels really gross to have used
it to like try and prove for a point about

(01:19:28):
something that is actually like very very wrong and.

Speaker 3 (01:19:31):
Like acting like like speaking as if she is.

Speaker 2 (01:19:34):
Like like she is like the like like like the
like the purveyor of what health looks like for every person.
Like I'm like you are you are a white woman,
whits different for you than anybody else, Like it was
just like black folks, Latin folks, as folks.

Speaker 3 (01:19:51):
Like like like like like like talking.

Speaker 2 (01:19:53):
To folks to mom, like if any other any other
person besides why we all we all be differently, so
you cannot act as if you are the person to
discuss help with us. And also stop acting as if
like like like like your way is the way to
to like be your whole self. It's just it's just
so bad. It's so bad. It's really it's a really
poor taste. It's just it's sad to see someone. It said,

(01:20:14):
I also see someone do that, like I've seen so
many plus sized fat folks like shift into like fitness
accounts and stuff, which again like it's like that ship
isn't that's fine? No one say you can't do that.
The issue is that you were doing it at the
expense of other fat people and like telling them that's
how that we are not ship, like yeah, exactly, we

(01:20:34):
are becoming the oppressor and let me let be honest,
right now, when you become the oppressor, you will still
be oppressed. He become the oppressor, they will still say
you are just a fat bitch like they will. They
will not give you what you think you're gonna get
from them. So don't act as if you are except
from it, because you aren't.

Speaker 1 (01:20:51):
Right and her, Yeah, well, I appreciate you bringing that
to the attention of our listeners because honestly, I don't
know if I had my head in the sand, I
just didn't know anything about it. And I mean it.

Speaker 2 (01:21:04):
Is some white on white drama for sure, but I.

Speaker 1 (01:21:08):
Well, I mean obviously when the whites are fighting, it's
always like I'm gonna grab some popcorn, for sure. But
the reality is is like I said, I think that
you know the it paused and again, oh, I always
be like, we're gonna make this into a show episode,
like we we've had episodes in the past where we
talk about intentional weight loss, but no one talks about

(01:21:30):
like what happens after the weight loss. And I would
love to have that conversation, like for folks to talk
about like for me, like I think the biggest thing
I remember not trying to take us down a rabbit hole.
But I remember when I was in college, I lost
close to one hundred pounds, and I remember how people
treated me and how people responded to me losing the weight,

(01:21:50):
and it was just it was the most grossest thing
that I've ever experienced. And it just it's I wouldn't
say drove me back to gaining the weight. I think
just being hungry in general was maybe getting a way
back in stress and everything else. But I sall of
that to say, like, it's just I often wonder when
people try to ship on fat people after they lose

(01:22:11):
the weight. It's like, what are you missing in your
own life and in your own journey that you feel
like you have to now go after a community that
was trying to help uplift you and embrace you. It's
just something I think about all the time. It's almost
like the anti not anti gay, but the people who
are like I'm not gay anymore, so I'm gonna shoot
on all the queer people. Oh like, girl, what did

(01:22:34):
you do?

Speaker 3 (01:22:34):
I'm like, that's the colt baby, Yes, the cold.

Speaker 2 (01:22:37):
Like like if you have to go and like and
like evangelize this bitch, you're the cold.

Speaker 1 (01:22:44):
You are the cult. You you baby, you're you are
the cult leader. It's giving oh man with the with
the with the kool aid, what's his name, what's the back? Yes,
it's giving Jones, it's giving suns said, it's giving scientology.
It's giving blue suits. My god, it's giving blue suits

(01:23:10):
and walking around like ants. It's giving like misfortune going
in and being what is what are they? Oh, they
talk about Dayton's and stuff. They are literally gonna come
after us this. But it's giving those little rods you
have to.

Speaker 6 (01:23:25):
Touch, baby, like, come on now, it's giving all of
the things, like, let's be serious, girl, it's giving Dayan's.

Speaker 7 (01:23:39):
You're you're you're not going up to what is it called?
You're not going up the line? What is it when
you don't go out, when you don't buy the books
and you don't read it.

Speaker 4 (01:23:49):
It's, oh, my gosh, is coming after you.

Speaker 3 (01:23:55):
Like we're about to give. We're about to give.

Speaker 1 (01:23:59):
But you know what, I survived nineteen years being a
Jehovah's witness, So bring it. I ain't scared. I ain't
scared of old body. All right, y'all. Well this was fantastic,
absolutely fantastic. Thank you all so much for sharing your
guest mans and no mams this weeak. Please send us
your thoughts on this episode, feedback and emails. If it
has anything to do with scientology, you can keep it,

(01:24:21):
but you can send anything else to Blackfatfempod at gmail
dot com. You can also send us your thoughts for
your social media by interacting with our posts on Instagram
and Twitter by using the handle at black Fatfempod. Also,
y'all should be watching us on YouTube, so subscribe. Tell
your aunties and your cousins and your sisters, and you
and your neighbors and them to subscribe to how YouTube channel.

(01:24:44):
You can watch the episodes for free. Bridget, Where can
the Dolls Find You?

Speaker 4 (01:24:51):
Well? You can listen to my podcast on the Outspoken Network.
It's called their Nobols. On the Internet. You can find
me on Twitter at Bridget Marie. I'm not really there anymore,
or on Instagram at Bridget Bridget Marie in DC.

Speaker 5 (01:25:03):
I have almost forgot it.

Speaker 1 (01:25:04):
Yeah, you said you may not catch me there, but
you can get me the police. I know that's right.
Queen Jojo, where can the Dogs Find You?

Speaker 3 (01:25:11):
As usual?

Speaker 5 (01:25:12):
My love?

Speaker 2 (01:25:13):
You can find me at Jojo Dawn's across all the
socials or up their website during dales dot com. And
if not there, you will find me hiding in my
bunker from other people who about to come after us
after this episode of Bunker.

Speaker 1 (01:25:25):
Uh, ain't nobody coming after us? And if they are,
like I said, I'm prepared. I think our producers are prepared.
We were good over here at I have now spoken
we we we are right over here. As for me, shot,
don't say that. Don't say that. Ban It's like, no,
don't say that, don't say that. As for me, though,
you could simply find me at doctor John Paul or

(01:25:47):
visit my website. Actually I'm gonna set that. As for me,
you can find me taking jobs from white people and entertainment,
while also going over to all of my different social places.
I sometimes be on Twitter and Instagram. Threads to threads
is a little boring, but I do want to shout
out Spiel. I love Spiel. I'm over a Spiel too,

(01:26:10):
and Facebook. I just I post here and there on Facebook.
But anyway, doctor John Paul, and then you don't also
go to my website ww dot Doctor John Paul dot com.
We also want to thank our supervising producer Rebecca Ramos
and Bey Wang for handling up the logistics of the show,
and our executive super producer and our Hostnia and everyone
over at I Heeartmedia for doing what they do to

(01:26:32):
keep this show up and running. Also shout out to
the Outspoken Network because we also we sister friends. Our
podcast is on the same network and we got to
hug and stuff last year at an event when they
were celebrating us, So I'd just like to say that.
We would also like to shout out our wonderful editor engineers,
Sir mix a Lot, Chris Rogers for all that they

(01:26:55):
did on this show and down to the youtubes because
you know they do the visuals and all them than
that stings and stuff. But other than that, this has
been another show. Thank you for listening to Stay Black,
Fat Femi fabulous and remember it ain't tricking if you
got it. I love us for real.

Speaker 3 (01:27:10):
Bye.

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