July 1, 2025 • 61 mins
This week your bff's talk about the power of prayer, hop into their Iyanla bag (I wonder how she's doing) while confronting generational curses and discuss the best and WORST places to eat (since we both live out of a suitcase).
Send us an email with your thoughts/comments about the show: BlackFatFemmePod@gmail.com.
Also, don’t forget to watch and subscribe on YouTube!
Buy DoctorJonPaul's book here!
Meet DoctorJonPaul on their book tour in a city near you.
Follow the show on social: Instagram | BlueSky | Tik-Tok
Follow DoctorJonPaul: BlueSky | Instagram | Website | Tik-Tok
Follow Jordan: Instagram | Website | Tik-Tok
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Black Fat Film Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio
and Doctor John Paul LLC. Hey everyone, welcome to another
episode of the blockfests and podcast were all the intersections
of it in are celebrated. I am one of your hosts, John,
also known as Doctor John's Paul. And while you were
on nuke Map trying to figure out how safe you
(00:21):
would be if I ran did decide to be good
dang unless you came to bang bombs over bad dad.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
I know it's not funny, but you got a laugh
to keep from crying while you were worried about retaliation.
Whoo my god. I was on the Buljangos website trying
to find out why none of them holes open in
our area yet. So this is the thing. Don't promise
me something and then go back on it. Bojangles, you
(00:54):
told me a year ago that you would have three
locations in LA and I have not seen one of
them locate ships. I need answers. Where is your scooter?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Girl?
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Where is your scooter?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Anyway?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
How are you? Joh?
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I cannot with you, John, I cannot. I can't you
come out the gates with that? Knowing full well, I
was I was eight. I bet you me up when
I when I posted about Iran Earl earlier last week.
So I ain't saying shakep my mouth shut. I'm just
saying in my lane doing the most people who I
was out here trying people was out here speaking on
(01:32):
my name. It was it was wild. I mean, I
can I can hold, I can hold. I messed up, y'all,
but y'all came.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Too much on me. I was like, y'all even calm down,
like y'all I I I probably ever slipped.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Let's relax, relox and truthfully all y'all coming from me,
Let's be less, let's let's talk to you honestly.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
You want one time post all by folks, but.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Here we are, here, we are Yeah, the man of times.
People are be like I can't believe you would do that.
Like I just I sho something that was a very
real valid fear that everyone's like, how do you share this?
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I was like, you don't share it about black people? Girl?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Why are you in my DMS?
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Like I appreciate a call in, I love a calling. Yeah,
it was just like the several messages of like how
dare you?
Speaker 2 (02:19):
How dare you? What was crazy, girl crazy.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
This is so, this is what I have to say
right before we get into our episode. I think you know,
like we talked about not last week, but the week
before last. We talked about this idea of people walking
around like they are higher, highly mighty bit better. And
you know, I'm because I do social justice the right
(02:43):
the way, I am better than you. And it's that girl,
you are the set you you ship the same way.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
I ship, because are you just like I'm tired of people,
people missing, people mistaking theory for process, Like I'm really
tired of just like like I actually don't care about
out how many books you were, actually don't care about
what my education background was that part?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I here, are you actually in the streets? Do in
the work?
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Are you? Like like I'm and a lot of are
I Like I'm exhausting, I'm exhausting myself trying to work
for the black transpiity.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Here and there you go like, yeah, I don't have
time for the books.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
You don't have time for the art the artic Just
send me are you doing the working out if you
have no outcome? If you have, we're doing in practice,
Like I cannot walk with you now, but Anyway, Anyways, y'all,
it's a girl Jordan aka tig Girl Joho, and I
just have to say no, no, I'm gonna say it
with my no man pants because y'all was.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Busted. I was being tested today by the little busses.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Okay, yeah, fine, Well, as we always do, we're gonna
start off our show by giving flowers Star Girl, Miss
Tisha Campbell and are still here segment Tisha girl, come
on dad to this. Oh, let's talk. I'm gonna keep
putting this out to somebody hear it and invite her
own and let her know that she's got She's got us,
she's got a chair with us. But with that being said,
(04:09):
this week, considering that Pride Month is officially over. By
the time you hear this, you will hear this on
July first, Pride Week will be done. Start off, yes,
Pride months. Yeah, Pride Month will be done. I Pride week,
but Pride Month will be done. I wanted to start
off this week's episode by asking the question, what is
(04:29):
something you may have prayed for this year or even
prayed for, you know under this new moon or you
know under under the under the pride, under the pride month,
you know, the culmination of things. What is something you
may have prayed for that you are happy to see,
something that you're happy to see coming to fruition. I know,
(04:50):
for me, I will say this so at the beginning
of this year, and I've talked about it on the show,
I've talked about it in different you know fast as,
I have even posted about it on social media. I know,
for me, I posted very earlier in the year that
I since losing my friend, losing my best friend to COVID,
and since kind of coming out of COVID, I felt
(05:11):
sort of isolated and feeling as if like I don't
have the closeness or the connections that I maybe once
had with certain people or even certain groups of people
prior to the pandemic. And so at the top of
the year, that was one of my prayers. My prayers was,
you know, God, please, if there's people in my circle
who are not feeding me, let them go on and
do what they need to do on their end. And
(05:32):
if there are people who really want to pour into me,
come on down over here, you know. And I want
to make sure that I don't take away from the
you know, the stuff you do or the things that
my partner does, or even some of the listeners. Right,
we have a lot of listeners who are close friends
of both of ours, right, or people that really go
up from me and really go up for you too.
So I don't want to take away from that, but
I will say when I said this prayer, that was
(05:54):
probably the first prayer I had said like out loud
where it wasn't just a kind of like a you know,
I was intentional. I set down and I prayed to
the universe and I said, and again this is something
I rarely do. I really really said, God, please just
put good people in my life so I can feel
like I have a solid you know, I have a
solid group of friends, and literally, people out of the
(06:16):
blue just started kind of like showing up. And that's
that's what tells me. And I know I say this
a lot, and I joke, you know, this is what
tells me that God is real. Because now I'm like,
I'm I'm having friends hit me and be like, hey,
do you want to do this this month? Hey do
we want to go book that? Or Hey do you
want to come over to do this thing? Or do
you want to and it and it just feels really
good to see in like real time that the universe
(06:37):
is answering my prayers. So yeah, like even thinking about
everybody who showed up for my book talk like and
how folks are using their platforms to help me lift mine,
like shout out to Delta. Yeah, I was on Delta.
I was on very Delta, you know, last week obviously,
And so it's just a lot of stuff has just
been kind of culminating to show me like people really
got me and the universe is answering my prayers. So
(07:00):
it's like it feels like God is like God has
not forgotten about me, and it just God, don't play
about your girl.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
God don't yeah about you.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Amen. Amen.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
He does it every day every day, you know. I
think for me, then I prayed for probably something for fruition.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
I think i've this year. I think I said into
my blackness in a new way. I think that's been
really amazing.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Like getting my getting my hair braided has been like
a really fun expression of like I feeling better. And
so I think like I prayed for like more comfort,
like another level of come for my blackness. I think
also becoming President of Black Pride was like a hard
thing for me because I was like, am I black
enough for this?
Speaker 2 (07:42):
For like myriad reasons, And so I think I prayed.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
I think I prayed for like I think I prayed
for like like I definitely I prayed like universe, like
let me know that this is the right path for me.
Give like give me the courage to step into myself
more and like you know, like like they they they please,
like because like let me leave with the authentic version
of myself. And it's been happening, and I'm very very
thankful for that. I'm very thankful that I feel good.
(08:08):
I feel tired, but I know, like we have so
much good ideas what we're doing, and we're doing so
much good work. I'm excited and like, like you know,
like like even just like today we met with a
potential partner and it was a really great conversation, and
so I'm like, I feel really good about.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
The idea I feel about like who I am.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
As about person and how I'm showing up in my
blackness and the like and like and like like it's
giving them more as you make more confidence in myself
in other ways, it's been really amazing. So I think
that's been coming to fruition, like just like more self,
more self advocacy, more self, more self atteration, more self
belief in a new.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
And new powerful ways. So yeah, and that's my life.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Yeah. No, And I will say this just you know, lovingly.
I will say, keep in mind that some of these
questions that we have about ourselves and how we show
up in this world are tools of white supremacy, you know,
a tool to keep you, you know, questioning your existence
in a world. And so are you black enough? Who
(09:08):
the fuck cares? Keep doing it? You know, keep showing
up in whatever way you want to show up. And
you know, again, at the end of the day, the
work is gonna get done. And that's the thing I
want to say that I definitely want to hold is that,
you know, I appreciate seeing folks like you out here
doing things like Black Pride and all these other things
that you're doing because it reminds me of the stuff
(09:28):
I'm passionate about and the stuff I need to be doing.
So I definitely just wanted to give you your flowers
around that and then braids. Like I said, if I
wasn't tend to head it, I'd be right behind.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
You know, A girl.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
When we do, when we do our sur sf thing,
I'll take you to my braider because honestly, she will you.
You'll be surprised, like, yeah, you fill intender her first,
but she'll do you right, she'll do you love her.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
I will hold you to it.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
And your braids would be so cute.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Yeah, even though I got a big ass head, but.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
You will you look so good and and and know it.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
We can buy you some bundles to go into it, bitch,
you you with a BRIDI of bus down with a
bad bust down how.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
John, baby idea No, because if you're if, bitch, if
you're in, I'll buy you the bundles.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
And please please please down and I would summer.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Please yes, before I let go, I'm yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Please, I'm I am like super here for it. You
already know that. But with that being said, now that
we have taken a moment to give our testimony and
pass the collection plate, we are going to pay our
tides and take a.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Moment to take a quick break. We'll be back in
a second, and we are back famin this week. John's
the driver's seat. We're talking about something that based on
social media. Now I know John your shild footed with
me where person was talking about how epigenetics and the
(11:03):
distrust they have related to certain things.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
You asked if I believe in epigenetics.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
And the thought about how it might drive some of
the generational, generational crystial things we about we have about
stainth things for ourselves. So I know for me, like,
I definitely like sometimes I joke, like I joke with friends,
like the sound of gas triggers me.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Holocaust, like gas.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Didn't know, get out of here. I am done with you.
Get out of here.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
If I if I, if I, if I see a
treat a treat bench rope, I'm like, I'm like, I
freeze up.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
But like, but like, I like, I really do think
there's certain.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Earlier.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
It's an earlier. Girl, you got a laugh to keep
from crying.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
I think you know for me, there are I do believe.
I do believe in the idea that so yes, the
idea that in intergenerational trauma, like I think changes the
expression of every DNA.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I'm not scientists, so I don't know how they how
may we phrase.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
I don't know if it changes specivity in a or
rather like it pages your your behaviors and how they
trust themselves. Like I definitely do think that the way
or like way stress like happens, right, because there are
times where I think, like I can handle a lot
of stress, like I can physically in allow of stress.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Some people can ancelss at all. I can hand a
lot of stress because.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Like both my families have had really stressful experiences and
histories themselves, you know, very and very much like Bootshet
mentality in the sense of like you gotta keep it going,
keep a pushing, even things going wrong. And I think
that is definitely like intergenerational, like not just in terms
of values like immigrant values, right, but.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Like values of like danger, hysteria or survival.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
You know, I think, I think instead of survival, instincts
are passed down, you know, instincts about about being resourceful
are passed down. I think, I think like you know,
I think like like I think I have a certain
intuition in like in myself that I think is like
also past like that to me is passed out for sure,
like because I know people my family have had intuitions, right,
(12:58):
a different level of spiritual.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Connection into something. So I you know, I do believe
in it.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
I do believe like I do believe that there are
that there are ways in which things, like you know,
things change how we are. But I also I also
think though, like like like what I think about last night,
Imber made so like this is really interesting and silly.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
But like.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Growing up, if my dad, if I left and I
left a light on anywhere in the house, like in
the like in the layout of my house growing up,
like the the front of the house was living room,
family room.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
We have too, living room and family room, dinning room, kitchen,
and then hallway and then parents room, my.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Room and in my mom's office. Right so like three bedroom,
two bad house like like like quite like quite a
good size. But like but like you don't see lights,
So you don't see lights from like the family room
or living room, from my from my parents' bedroom.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
But my dad would just know if a light was on.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
He'd like Jordan, Jordan, turn the light off, like anywhere
around he will.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Know that a light is on.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Like yeah, that dou was like my mom my mama
not care that that man was like the like like
I try to stay by Jordan the light, what light
the one thing that hang?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
What's on? My guy?
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Like and now as an adult if if like if
I'm in if I'm I'm in bed even MirOS closed,
if any light is on like my roomates like the
I sense it, I'm like I cannot sleep light And
and I was wondering, like this is silly and this ispiculation,
but like I wonder if part of this is like
(14:31):
is like like pastor from experiences of slavery, right, how
many times?
Speaker 2 (14:36):
How many? How many times? Like how many times? How many?
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Because it's like this.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Is stop.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
How many times we're like sas walking around with lights? Right,
and like yeah, we're actually fearful of the light that
was coming towards them, so they were trying to run
away from right, Okay, when you're right, you smell what
I'm cooking? I literally, I literally I wonder that's the
part of it is like it's like being a good
(15:09):
having like the light right or for example, like like
like I'm alike sleeper typically so like and whenever if
I'm ever asleep and someone's not home, be like the
before they even get to the actual door, I'll wake up,
like like I like like I will wake up. I'll
wake up second second before the can the door, I'll
(15:31):
be like awake, like just like, yeah, you just know,
I just know so aways yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Yo, it's I know she's canceled because she's saying at
the inauguration. But anyway, I was she did, she did?
She did? She did? Who was jewel? Jewel? She's sag
at the inauguration? The girl? Oh no, yeah, who will
say so? But no. So for those so, I think
(16:00):
this is very interesting and I love that you're talking
about this in this way. So for those of you
who are not super into the whole epigenetics conversation, and
like I said, I want to make sure that folks
don't think this is just a you know, a lot
of this is tenfoily, but it also is a real
thing that I was like, I think this will be
a great conversation because we've talked about generational curses in
(16:22):
different facets, but we never really talked about what's the
stuff that's ingrained in us or what are the things
that we kind of feel our in our DNA, and
you know, we're working to kind of undo that. And
so I was telling Joho, I saw someone talk about
this the clip or the tweet, and the tweet the
threat that I saw was a woman talking about the
(16:43):
ways that you know, all the ways that she distrusts things,
and how black people innately have distrust built into them
because of what we've been through and what we've experienced.
And I said, Wow, this reminds me a lot of
And again I like to give credit where credit is due.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
I said, this.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Reminds me a lot of conversation I heard on the
friend Zone where Frand was talking about epigenetics, and I
dipped into wanting to understand it more myself. And so,
for those of you who don't know, epigenetics is this
concept of of things that are traumatic, things specifically traumatic
things that are ingrained in your parents' DNA or in
your parents parents DNA that's passed down to you. And
(17:19):
so there have been studies and again some of these
studies are are you know, there's still big question marks
around what does this truly mean for our DNA? But
I know one of the studies that they did was
around some rats, and it was rats that were taught
to be afraid of cherry blossoms. And basically what they
would use they would they would basically give rats reasons
(17:42):
to be afraid of the cherry blossom, and then they
would let the rats pro create, and then they would
test the rats that came from whatever batch that were
being tested and to see how those baby rats would respond.
And what they found was that the baby rats were
whenever they would see a cherry blossom or whatever, they
would military blossom, they would freak out, right, they would,
(18:03):
the babies would. And so there are all of these studies,
you know, and again don't I don't know how that
would would and again there's been no research that has
tied it to humans, right, But the idea that trauma
is passed down through generations, it's real. And so I
had brought this up because, you know, I wanted to
add a little seasoning to the topic and thinking about
some of the things that maybe have been passed down
(18:25):
to us and things that might be keeping us tied
to this feeling of being quote unquote curse and what
we might be doing to break them. And I know,
for me, you know, one of the things that I
have brought up as I've been dancing around this idea
of like maybe epigenetics is a thinker, Maybe there needs
to be more research and epigenetics, right, I think about
generational curses, and you know, one of the questions that
(18:47):
I've had is, you know, and maybe this is a
question that I have more for you, what's your take
on the idea of generational curses and how have you
seen them play out in your life? And before you
answer that, I know, for me, I think one of
the biggest generational curses that I have seen is this
idea of feeling like your and again, generational curses as
(19:08):
we're talking about DNA and epigenetics or feelings, right, this
idea that you should always be worried about something. I know, worry,
And I'll talk more about this worry a little bit later,
but I do know that worry is something that I
constantly have to fight in my mind every day, and
that's something that I'm wanting to break. But yeah, what
about you, what's something that you have seen kind of
play out in your own life?
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Would be great question. Oh my gosh, such a great question.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
I think I have.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
I have a hard time trusting people to get things done,
that's for sure. I think it's like a generational CURSI
it's like asking for help and trusting people get things done,
I feel, And that's like right in some cases, like
family history of I cannot be dependent on people because
(20:02):
you might you might die, like it's life or death.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Right.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
My mom always says that if you want to do something,
you gotta do with yourself.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Yeah, right, and like, and I think I don't want
to be that person because I rely on community a lot,
and I love community. There are some things that I'm like,
I just like I just don't need help, like I.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Like I will.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
I never need people to like open doors for me.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
I feel like I do it myself, like if everyone
want to you, right, I appreciate people do like I
never I've never asked people to do that because I
just is not I'm a well because I always think
someone how might someone might always have a transaction and
I don't.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
I'm not a transactional person. And in some cases it's
proven to be true.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
But I think my my like my general genericial curse
is like not to trust people will do the right
thing and say and say they'll do what they say
they'll do.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
And my biggest piece of people who don't say, don't
say that.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
They'll do like even if even if I'm late, even
even if it's.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Like not perfect, I will so do the thing right.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
And people who don't do it and make judge judge
people wall and I just like I could.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
I shouldn't it myself like I like I should.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
And so I think that is like there is something
that I was, like a like a Germi show thing
that I'm trying to unlearn. I think also like my
sensitivity to potential danger, like.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I'm always in fire or fast.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
I feel like, yeah, I don't ever feel right, like
like when I walk into a bar, my first art
of the exits?
Speaker 2 (21:25):
How do I get there?
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Cloud?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Do I good right there? At there?
Speaker 1 (21:31):
How do I get out that front?
Speaker 2 (21:32):
I find out if.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
I if I sit down a restaurant, I'm my seat
usually will case the exits as well.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
So I'm about to railro.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
Because I can't trust that you'll warm me digit comes,
I'll warn you, but I can't trust you that you'll
warn this bitch, you know. So I think like those
are some of the because I have is never feeling
safe everywhere always, and there's a level of endangerment whatever
I do, even leading my house.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
You know, when I walk home my nighttime, I walk
home with my keys between my fingers.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
You know, like I'm You're not if you don't give
me a girl, I'm gonna scratch.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
You're gonna know that you yes, and then.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Okay, you're gonna know you're okay.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
If you, if you, if you, if if you, if
you take me down, you will come out bleeding still,
like do not do not try it with me like that.
So I think those are like the curses I have,
you know, I think I think those are like pretty
great present ones. I think the other thing is the
one thing I've one thing I've I've broken occurs is
(22:37):
scarcity mentality. When it comes to money, I think like
and not not not not that you're riches rich, like
not that I'm rich now that I'm got I got
some money at the wall Zoo.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
But I have work to break the idea.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Like like like that like that money won't come to me,
like I believe, like like what how that song go?
Speaker 2 (23:00):
It was like with the money? Was that with the
money braz Yeah? What a money? Is that money?
Speaker 3 (23:07):
But that like like that's that's like like that's a
I feel like I've broken the I've broken the curse
of fling.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Like things are scarce, Like I think I'm abundant.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
I think things are abundant, like like if I if
I if I give money, I don't expect it back
because I know I'll make it back. I hope for
a back because I want to back, but like I
put it back because I know I can make.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
It back, you know.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
I like I trust that I'm taken care of. When
things are hard, I'm like, know what, Like it's a
hard month. God got me, you never got me? So yeah,
so that those little bits I think I'm gonna play
on my life. I'm curious ask you, is there a
pattern or something in your life that you think you might.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
That might have might have been passed on as well?
Now have you worked to break it?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Yeah, I will say so. I made mention of this earlier,
you know, thinking about the worry. But also this, this
the game of fear is something that I feel like,
you know, being concerned that there's always going to be
something that's gonna go wrong. And I think having to
reframe this, this this feeling of there's always going to
(24:05):
be something wrong, like even down to like my mom,
you know, with the traveling, my mom calls me all
the time, where are you at? What are you doing?
You know, I just want to make sure you're safe
and I'm like, Mom, you can, you can rest sure
and know that I'm okay, Like you don't have to always.
But again, I know, I know that that's her her
way of moving and operating, and I think in my
grandfather it's the same way. And one of the things
(24:27):
that you know, I don't think I've ever told anybody
is you know, and I don't even know if you
know this, but one of my uncles when I was
younger was was was profiled and attacked and murdered by
the LAPD. And so knowing my mom, knowing the direct
connection that my grandfather had to that, and knowing the
direct connection my mom has to that, I think my
(24:49):
mom innately and my grandfather innately has always had it
kind of embedded in them that, you know, we're a target, right,
no matter what we do, no matter where we go,
we're always a target. And so I think they're always
constantly works about that. And that's something I've had to
kind of like relinquish in my own mind, is like
I can't constantly live my life day to day being
worried that something is going to go wrong or that
I'm something terrible it's gonna happen to me and you know.
(25:12):
And I think the other part of it too is
you know, I think you know, being like you said
to some to one of the pieces that you shared earlier, Right,
this notion of not being able to trust people, you know,
it's not even trusting that people are not going to
do anything. I just for years I just didn't trust
people in general. I just I don't know your intentions.
I don't know who you are. I don't know what
(25:33):
you're trying to bring into the space. I don't trust
your energy, you know. And I also know that a
lot of that is religious trauma too. Right, growing up
in a very religious space, I was taught that your
other I'm you know, I'm in the right religion. I'm
doing I know the people who are connected to my
religion are good people. You're not a good person, so
I can't trust you. And I think having to like
(25:54):
unlearn that and just be like, just because someone has
a different religious belief than you doesn't necessarily in him
make them a bad person, just unless their religious beliefs
are rooted in harming you or taking your rights away.
That's when we have a problem. And I think that's
something that I've really had to kind of like undo
around quote unquote, the generational curse is recognizing that, you know, safety,
(26:17):
safety can mean so many different things for different people.
But I don't have to constantly live in this place
as if, you know, I don't have to live in
Halloween every you know, every day, you know what I mean,
I don't have to there. You know, there's there's not
that many booths and you know, scary things around the
corner every day. And I think that some people in
this and like I said, some of my family, they
(26:38):
live that way. They lived that way, and I just
don't necessarily it's how do I say this, It just
doesn't It's not me. It's not something I want to
constantly have, Like I don't constantly always want to be
in this place that you know, all I ever have
to do in my life is worried because it just
(27:00):
I mean, and that's what that's the thing I think
I've learned. I've really learned. You know, I'll even say this.
You know, my mother, my partner, to an extent, some
of the other friends and family, I know they're constantly
worried about the next hour, or the next day or
the next month. And I'm like baby, You're worried about
something that hasn't even occurred yet. So why am I
gonna be worried about being broke tomorrow if I got
(27:21):
money today and then, like you said, I'm not rich.
But I also don't go to bed anymore being like,
oh my god, I'm so worried about where my next
check is gonna come from. Like, no, I'm just not
gonna live that way because the reality is is now,
I've spent this entire week giving out energy into the
world around something I truly have no control over. I'm
doing the best that I can. I'm working as much
(27:42):
as I can. I'm putting out whatever I can to
let people know that I'm capable of doing a good job,
and whatever comes back to me is what will come
back to me. But I just don't have it. And
I think also part of it is me growing up too, right,
is recognizing like you don't have to constantly live in
a state of fear, Like living in a state of
fear is not something that is conducive to me or
(28:03):
to the work I want to do in this world.
If I'm constantly working out of fear, out of out
of worry, then then then what am I telling other
people who I'm trying to lift up? What am I
telling other people who are looking to me for the
solace and to be uplifted. So that's something that I've
really had to fight in the last couple of years.
You know, I would I would like to know, you know,
(28:24):
I guess thinking about how you've approached this topic when
you're with your with your family, thinking about this idea
of like what these curses might mean. And I know
we've talked about Like I said, we've talked about familial
things in the past, but like talking directly, I know you,
I know you've mentioned conversations with your mother. I know
you've mentioned conversations with your sister and your brothers. I
(28:44):
would love to know, like the idea that you all
have to be the ones to put these curses to bed,
Like what what has that looked like for you? You
know it is? It is Well, the.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Conversations with my family are different than the conversations I
have with like people like my other loved ones, like
my friends and such. You know, well, we all have.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
Different proximity to what it means to break curses, right,
Like I share with my mom this idea sometimes I
don't think, not that she's not interested in breaking curses,
but I think there is that's a level of self work.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
I don't think she'll.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
She will.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
I totally see her if she's able to or just
doesn't want to, because like she's lived a full life,
so it's like, what am I trying to do now?
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Right?
Speaker 3 (29:38):
And the people who place those curses are no longer
here with us, and she has to and I sometimes
don't know she will. I think with my siblings, you know,
we talked about me and my brother about this a lot.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
In particular, I think my sister does to my sister.
My sister sometimes my sister sometimes.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Is like fuck it, ah, the curious girl, I love
this shit right, you know, like she's like in a
funny way.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
But I think I think my brother and I are probably.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
The most I think the most like. I don't know
the most like because I actually I also know that
like my my brother who's been who is incarcerated for
thirty years and was returned newly returned last year, I'll
spend a year ready since he came out.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
That's what.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
Yeah, He's talked a lot about like breaking general breaking general,
generational curses. I think we have to because, like we
talked about, like we have to because if we don't,
we run the risk of like damaging further gnerations of us.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
And we don't want that.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
We know that we're damaged and we don't want to
participate in the damaging with the people.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
We also know.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
That the curses and traumas are that we inherited from
our people above us that led them to not have
good full lives.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Yeah, and we don't want to have of We don't
want to have shortened lives now. We don't want to
have not good lives.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
We're gonna have rich and beautiful and exciting full lives.
We can only do that if we actively work against
the curses that we're putting us in that way, you
put this curses to bed. So I think, you know,
I think that's how we push the topic of discussion
is like we being one, how how do you become
mindful of what was passed down for us?
Speaker 2 (31:23):
Right?
Speaker 3 (31:23):
Like what do our hands hold? You're like, where are
we obligated to hold? What can we actually just let
go of? Like there's a there's a duty, there's a
sense of do your obligation to hold something and what
can we say this actually is not what.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
My hands aren't made for this. I can put this down,
and I can.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
My hands a small but then natural.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
I cannot, you know.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
I also think it's important to note right that like
our take on breaking ger mystial curses are often informed.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
By our own insections of who we are, right.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
And like like like we have a privilege to be
able to engage in the thought of changing breaking systems
like not everyone can not the tools to do so.
Everyone wants to do so, you know, And I guess
I'm also just said like like in the you know,
in the in the sphere of like like like wrapping
this conversation with the boat, like like what is the
liberation from that trauma? Passion also look like for us,
(32:20):
like for me, I think a lot about this now
a conversation with with with my brother age, I'll made
a conversation about this, like this passage in Jewish texts
I have read a few times. I'll try and give
you like like a quick summary.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
There's a part in I want to say, it's not
in the tour.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
I think it's like in like the like like like
some some like some of my Jewish text but not
not like not not like not like the Holy the Holy.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Text essentially, but I think it's Kamara.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
And so there's some rabbis this Rabbi Johanan, Rabbi Haya
and Rabbi Hanina and so and so and so Rabbi
Hi falls ill, and rebbe Hia Yohanan student Rabbi Johanan
like like checks on Hya and Hyas like, oh I'm sick,
(33:10):
And Robert Johana is like, is your suffering? Is your
suffering dear to you? Do you desire to be ill
or reflicted? And Rabbi Hyah says, I welcome neither the
suffering nor it's reward. I when he welcomes with suffering
with love, is rewarded, but like like like we we're
with more suffering.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
So Rabbi Yohanan says like, give me your hand and
like and heals him.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Rabbi Johanan also then falls ill, and Rabbi Hanina visits
him and I.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Was like, hey, girl, is your suffering dear to you?
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Johanan says like, I welcome this suffering nor reward And
then and then raby Hanina Healsohanan, you know someone someone
something like the questions asked if Rabbi Yohandan, like, why
didn't you wait to heal?
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Why don't you wait to heal yourself? Yeah, I'm not sorry.
Why did you write for.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
Hanina when you can feel yourself Youhanan says, a prisoner
generally cannot free hurt himself from prison, but depends on
others to release them from the shackles.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Right the.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Words and so and so we talk about like with
like with like liberation from gensional trauma. Impression is when
like you can't do it by yourself, like like like
like when you're shackled by oppression, you can't like like
you actually can't make the change yourself every time, you know,
I hold that as much as I hold Asasha chorus
chance of like we have nothing to break but our chains,
right right, and we have there's nothing to lose with
(34:33):
our chains, but like losing your chains, sometimes you can't.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Break for yourself.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
You have to do it with with others. And also
you have to be willing to let go of suffering
because right like like that text taught me that pump
people like suffering a safety. Suffering is comfort right like
like the suffering is bondage, but there's a comfort and
bondage because you know what's gonna happen. So much of
Jewish history and text was the idea of like the
Jewish will suffer a lot, but they like but like
(34:59):
when they had to fight for the free the most
hard and scary because they have no you want.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
To expect the other side of that.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
And so I think also we often refuse to break
change or break curses or the ol trauma because we're
scared of who we will become after them, because our
sense of self right is wrapped up and suffering, and
so like for us to say I have to relinquish
who I am and be open to who I'll become
or who I'm becoming without this trauma, it is scary
(35:27):
and hard and like gross and sticky. It's it can
feel crunchy and painful. But I think personally, I think
right like like like like what a gift is to
do that, And that's the most apportant thing is to
say I can change, and I can change with others
and others can have me change, right like the function
of freedom is to free others. And if I can't,
(35:48):
if I if I can't be free. Without you being free,
then we have to free each other as well too.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Yeah, I so yes to all of that, and I
appreciate that, you know, I always appreciate when you bring in,
you know, whatever Jewish ideologies or concepts and to help
people kind of expand the ways that they think about this,
this this idea of freedom, because I think, and I
will say this, I think there's such an American way
of thinking about what freedom is and thinking about you know,
(36:16):
breaking chains or breaking all of it is so rooted
and a lot of what I like to think of
is you know, patriarch patriarchy, patriarical ideologies and concepts. Right,
there is no real essence of the soul in some
of these conversations, and so I feel like when you
offer up these concepts are these thoughts, you're really taking
(36:38):
it to a place of trying to connect it back
to the person. And I think it's so much more
than saying freedom is having, you know, having money to
do this, or freedom is being able to talk about this,
or freedom is you know, X, Y and Z. It
really is this idea of thinking about what are the
things And this is something that I've been trying to
do so much in a lot of my work. What
is the thing that I feel like I am. I
(37:01):
kind of want to go back to your point about
this idea of people not breaking quote unquote these change
because they worry about what's on the other side or
who am I without this? And I think it's kind
of the ways that some people are are you know,
I've had to stop and ask people, like you're always worried,
or you're always stressed, or you're always angry about something,
like have you ever thought about what your life would
be like if you were just okay? Like some people
(37:24):
don't know what it's like to just be okay, Like
this idea that everything is gonna work out and even
if it doesn't work out the way I want it
to work out, it's still gonna work out. Right, What
does ease look like for you? And what does what
does breathing that that that you know, whatever we want
to call it, what does that look like? And I
think so many of us are so and especially marginalized people,
(37:46):
we're so caught up in the bad, like everything is
so bad. And that's what I'm really trying to like
get people to see now, even in my own organization,
I'm trying to get people to understand like, this is intentional.
This is exactly the way that you know, elements of
white supremacy works. It's to keep you locked in fear.
It's to keep you in this cycle of thinking and
(38:07):
feeling like emotionally you're gonna always have something bad happen.
And you pass that down, right, you want to pass
that down to your nieces, your nephews, your kids, your
kids kids, to let them know, like you got to
be worried about the people at the top. And when
you get free enough to say, I'm worried about y'all,
I'm scared of y'all, I'm not There is nothing that
you can really say or do to me that ain't
already been done that that changes so many things. So
(38:30):
I just I guess for me, I really like to
think of liberation as being this kind of thing of
folks getting to a place of recognizing that, yes, you
can acknowledge the bad, and you can acknowledge the things
that have happened throughout your trajectory and your life, but
that you can also be okay with today. It is
okay for you to look forward to tomorrow. It is
(38:51):
okay for you to be okay with the idea that
it may not work out one hundred percent the way
you want it to work out, but it will. It's
going to you. I even think looking at us, we're living.
I think we're living and telling examples of people who
you know. I mean, I got a couple more years
on you. But the reality is like we're living, we're
(39:14):
living examples of this ship's gonna work out. It's gonna
be okay, and you don't have to live in worry
or fear all the time.
Speaker 3 (39:23):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's
God okay, family, that we have given you all a
blueprint to break in the chains. We got to be
great for some advertisements. I might need to find me
an advertisement for some for some hair anti itch because
oh lord, yeah damn. We be back in just a
(39:44):
psycho fan.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
With the shack gos on my feet.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
So I just had okay, y'all, I have had so
many songs come across my head, and like I said this,
(40:18):
I know it's the neural spiciness in me. But with
that being said, we are back, y'all, And this conversation
is a conversation I have been having with myself while
I've been on the planes and been flying into cities
and out of cities and doing all this stuff. So
I just want to say this, and I think this,
this conversation may get us canceled brunos, who cares, Jordan.
(40:40):
I feel like, just you travel just as much as
I do, and I know you know, so so what
y'all Okay, So I'm gonna just say this. We're gonna
this segment. We're gonna go ahead and go back to
our roots, and we're gonna do what's on your plate.
But what I wanted to do was I wanted to
lean into this idea that both of us love to
eat when we are on the road. We like to
(41:00):
try new things, we like to post new things. And
I wanted to lean heavily into this idea of what
what what are some of the things that people have
said is really good that you were like, yes, they
are correct, it is fantastic, it is good. Everything I've
gotten is great. Or what are the things that people
(41:21):
have been like, Yo, this is really good and you
should go try this when you're in that city and
you've been like nah, girl. So I just I wanted
to have a conversation about in your mind, what have
the city's with the best and the worst food? Do
you think it compares the home? Because the thing is,
we're both from California, and I have some really spicy
(41:42):
takes on what I believe is the best food in California.
And also I feel like there are a lot of
people who are lying about their food in their cities,
and I just wanted us to talk about it. So
I'm not gonna tell you what I have, but i
just want to. I want to see what you're what
you've got to say, and I want to plus want
it or I want to I want to put a
negative next.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
So you said you said expose myself, let me see
the heat.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
Okay, so let me say cities.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
First of all, we'll say Cleveland, Ohio.
Speaker 3 (42:13):
I will say that there's not like no one ever
says good to Cleveland for food, Like no one saying
good food there?
Speaker 2 (42:20):
How did I did I eat? Sure? Was anything amazing?
Speaker 3 (42:23):
No, But like no one said, no one saying Cleve
when he said but Cleve it was. I was a
fun city. I enjoyed myself there, but no one that
I went to was no one knowing that no one
that no one's ever liked.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
Cleveland's best, blest place for some food. That's a lot.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
When I was in Mexico City, someone said Rosetta, but
bad for saying it, said Rosetta.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
There's an Italian place in.
Speaker 3 (42:46):
Roman Or someone said it was one of the best
Italian places right now certified lies.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Because why because why was our pasta cold? First of all?
Why cold?
Speaker 3 (43:00):
My my my friend got up sausage boli that she
was minced to the point where I was a girl
that looks like sausage dust not dust dust. I got
this like this, I got this like crab while was
the crab not in the ravelly, but just.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
On top of it, was just on top of the rabbit.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
It was just it was not it was not nothing
was giving and reservation only it's like hardy reservations. We
luckly to walk in right like when they first opened.
So they they did an empty table. Girl, I was
like the the the the the civil lightning was at
that restaurant.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
I saw got make and I was gone.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
I okay, in the city of all places.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Gotten performed, Got got performed. That next night, I also
liked I also lied to God make. I also said,
I got make, and that when I want to come
and apologize, it's got to make. If you if you
hear this, you said, hi, Gorge to me the picture,
took a picture together, and I told you to your face,
you chose a great restaurant. I had already eaten and
I did not like my meal, and I didn't have
(44:02):
the heart to tell you it was not good.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
Now you had him there as well too.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
I saw you have a little lying. I said, Noah,
let me just tell you girl.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
You get a great place.
Speaker 3 (44:10):
And I lied to you, M Chris, and I help
you insert.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
Like sad music. As as I did all that.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
I had, I had to come forward in confession. I'll
do ten him Mary's exactly. So I would say that
in New York, I'll say best. Someone said I have
to try tie dinner in in like near Little Lily neighborhood.
And I can confirm my ship was ten fire certifi busting.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Well, you were staying in one of the best areas
of New I was, and I was there. I have
been there. Shout out to Bernadette who took me to
that area when I was there in New York.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
And I'll tell you, yes, some of the talent people
to tell me to try was not busting.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
I was like, no, what I've had better. I've had
a better Italian flud in San Diego.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
And that, and that was as I was like, yeah,
you know, not not all the best in some of
the pizzas. Man, maybe you're not, so can I can
I step there for seconds?
Speaker 2 (45:10):
I definitely want to say this.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
I you know, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna leave
you out there to get all of the heat. I'm
gonna say that I don't believe. Oh, my friends in
Chicago are going to be so mad at me for
saying this. Everything I had in Chicago was awful. Everything
I don't and I and and and people kept saying, oh,
here go here. I've been to Chicago twice and the
(45:33):
food just wasn't as good as people purport it to be.
It's just not and I I I don't, I don't,
I don't know what it is. But I'm just like,
and maybe that's because that's their thing. Like it's kind
of the way we go up for California and we say, oh,
this thing in California is so good, and people come
to California like absolutely it's not. Maybe it's the same thing, right,
(45:54):
Maybe it's the we you know, we gas up our city.
But I just Chicago, absolutely not New Orleans. Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
Someone told me, someone told me, now, not too much
on my city.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
Now go ahead, one of the best. Oh oh, now
your city. Not too much on my city. Sometime the
best gumbo was gonna be this place, like like near
downtown was not the best.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
The best gumboy I have was was.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
I lick of Stone off okay Lico Stone in the
French Quarter.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
The best poe boy and the best gumbo of my life.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
I want to shout out, I am in So we're
recording right now. By the time you hear this, i'll
be home, but I will say I am in New Orleans.
And they never fail. There's this place called Mambo, and
like I literally, when I get off of this, I'm
probably gonna order from them again because their food is
just so good, and it is so consistently good from
top to bottom. Everything I've had from there both The
(46:48):
last time I was here, I was here for Essence
Vest last year, and I was here this year. Obviously
this year's the last few days ago. I was here
for a Bookstop, Mambo's fantastic. I've yet to try Loretta's.
I know people keep telling me Therettas is one of
the best places in New Orleans to go. Lorettas was
not open today, and so I'm really sad because I'm
not going to get another It's another time that I
(47:09):
didn't get a chance.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
To try it.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
But yeah, I definitely want to say like New Orleans,
by far, I have yet to have anything here that
has made me go I never want to eat there again,
like everything that I've had here, and I usually only
eat mom and Pop when I'm here because I genuinely believe,
like why am I gonna come here and eat something
(47:31):
that I could get back in California? But they Yeah,
I hear you. Not everything is made with the same love.
But I will tell you right now, mostly everything I've
had here is good. Chicago not so much. I will
also say Texas. Nothing that I've had in Texas has
been good. Sorry about it. I don't care. San Antonio nasty,
(47:53):
Houston nasty, Dallas nasty. I don't want it. I don't
think it's good. I'm sorry, y'all. I just don't even
the barbecue. The barbecue was like Mexican food maybe, but nah, girl,
it's not given. What I'll say is given. Sorry, sorry girl.
Yeah yeah, I'm trying to think of Oh I will
(48:15):
say this so I don't And if Quasm or if
Heather listens to this episode, I want them to ping me.
There was a pizza place that was in San Francisco
that I had and it's probably the best pizza that
I've ever had in my life, because baby, I don't know,
I don't remember the name of it. I do remember
it was by that park though, you know that park
(48:36):
where everybody name I'm gonna go.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
In San Francisco, Dolores Park.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
I think so, yeah, I think it is. And there's
that whole street. It's really busy. There's a pizza place
right on the corner. It is so my god, it
is the best pizza I have ever had in my life.
And I've been to And I'll also want to say this.
You know what, France, you ain't gonna get out of
(49:02):
this one games either, because I went to France. Y'all
tried to tell me that the food in Paris was
good and it's not. Nothing that I had in Paris
was good except for that burger I had. That burger
was the only thing I had that was good while
I was there. I'm just saying it wasn't good, So
sorry about it.
Speaker 3 (49:19):
You heard it here first, folks, Yeah, you heard it
here that everywhere, all these food places that these people be.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
Said good, it's not as good as they try to
tell you. So I will say this. If you want
to prove me wrong, buy me a ticket to Chicago
and give me a list of food with some money,
and I will eat. I will will do, we will.
I'm not gonna even say us. Give us somebody, somebody
give us some money so we could go do a
(49:47):
tour through Chicago, find all the good places to actually eat.
Got like a guys, guys, you know the dives and drives.
Speaker 3 (49:58):
We'll give us here on the Patreon girl, did you yes?
Speaker 1 (50:03):
Girl, subscribers only and the sponsor us, Yes, God, yes,
all right. Oh so I guess it's me taking us
to commercial. Okay, all right, No, it's fine, all right.
So now that we now that we now that we
have officially lost some listeners, we're gonna take a quick
(50:23):
break to pay these sponsors so we don't lose the
entire show, and we get back. We are gonna be
here with y'all's favorite segment, Yes ma'am, No, Man, Pam
will be back in a way, all right, y'all. So
we are at the part of the show our yes
(50:44):
maam and I know man. For those who are new
to the show, we are basically this is where we
talk about the things that we love and that we're celebrating.
Are the things that we absolutely can't stand, are the
things that we wish we'll just ultimately die and go away.
And so this week my yes man, so I know,
Man Pam's are very light considering that the world is
on fire, and it's like, why should I add to
it this week? I wanted to say so. I had
(51:06):
mentioned I wanted to mention this a couple of weeks ago,
and I totally forgot because I think we got into
a whole bunch of other conversations and it was something.
But I definitely want to say shout out to the
people in Huntington Beach who ultimately were able to get
I think there were two different measures. I did my googles,
I researched. There were two different measures, and basically one
(51:27):
of the measures was one to make sure that city
officials or government officials had no dictation over what books
could be put in the libraries in that city. And
then another one was to make sure that the librarians
would keep the power that they had while they were
in like the people who worked for the libraries, the
(51:48):
librarians would be able to keep the power. There were
two different measures and they both passed, and so basically
what that being said, Basically, the people of Huntington Beach said,
we want our government off of our like city things
like we want librarians, we want the people, we want
the community to be able to decide the things that
they think are best for them. And I just want
to say, I think that is absolutely fantastic to see
(52:10):
a city that is very very very very very red
and conservative starting to kind of look around and be like, actually,
I think a lot of this stuff is not as
bad as y'all are saying it is. And for those
of you who don't know the whole, a lot of
it's not even just Huntington Beach. It's a lot of
these cities. They are trying to say that books that
are inclusive, books like mine, books like George M. Johnson's,
(52:34):
what they're trying to do is they're trying to label
it as porn because it's talking about identity and gender expression.
And so I think folks are starting to wake up
and they're starting to realize that a lot of the
stuff that they're seeing and folks, what folks are doing,
are coming from a very, very very Christian nationalist ideology.
So kudos to them, my no man, Pam. You know,
(52:56):
I genuinely have so many things that are on my mind.
I could talk about our government, I can talk about
just a lot of the stuff that I'm seeing in
terms of how people talk and treat one another. But
I think I'm just gonna go ahead and go back
to something that has really been irking me being considering
that I've been living out of a hotel for maybe
(53:16):
the last month and a half, and I think I've
said this before, and I'm just gonna say it again,
because you know, it bears repeating. It's called door dash,
it is called uber eats, it is called I'm paying
a five ninety nine fee and a six dollar seven dollars,
(53:38):
eight dollars sometimes nine or ten dollars tip. I don't
want to meet you downstairs. I don't I don't. I don't,
and and I understand some hotels won't let you up.
So I want to say this, I don't want to
meet you at your car. I don't.
Speaker 2 (53:55):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (53:55):
I don't want to come out to your car. Leave
it in the lobby. If I have to come down,
I'll come down. But I don't. I don't want to
meet you in the lobby for my food. I don't.
I don't want to do that. Don't call me and
tell me, oh, I'm outside, come get your food. No, no, no,
no no no door dash you you find somewhere to park,
(54:18):
put on your flashes, put my food where it needs
to be. I will come down and get it or
come to my door.
Speaker 2 (54:23):
But I'm not.
Speaker 1 (54:24):
I'm not.
Speaker 3 (54:24):
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (54:24):
I'm not doing that with you. Sorry, baby, sorry about it. Yeah,
that's where I'm at. What about you?
Speaker 3 (54:31):
My yes, ma'am so sleep But also true, like the
button says leave up my door, that means at my.
Speaker 1 (54:37):
Door, at at my door.
Speaker 4 (54:42):
Period, at my door, my yes, ma'am, pam. Honestly, I
just it's just gonna be a doochi right now, like
no pharticular reason.
Speaker 2 (54:52):
I just love doch.
Speaker 3 (54:53):
I think I'm sure done to dos you before too
wants to do it again because I just I just
I asked your music often.
Speaker 2 (55:00):
But I was just like hearing those bleeds again, Like
I put on repeat like.
Speaker 3 (55:02):
Five times, and I was just like, this is just
such a fucking bob like like it's just like genius beautiful, amazing,
so dope, so like like lyrically lyrically blessed, melodically blessed
like so it looks amazing, just like black as hell,
like dough g yes game to you.
Speaker 2 (55:21):
You ever hear this, please come on the show. We'd
love to have you.
Speaker 3 (55:24):
You're amazing nose bleeds to once today, Boombat once a day,
you're looking fruitcake once a day, Black Memoir once a day,
Like I just love doughhe so much. And no man,
Pam is okay, so when you say to home, for
there's a three mile droger to get home, and no one,
(55:46):
I'm real, no one can just like y'all can't.
Speaker 2 (55:48):
Drive in these streets.
Speaker 3 (55:49):
Like I just no man to drivers because if you know,
if you have to cross the intersection and you know
that there's no chance in how that your car will
make here across the intersection, just stay at the light.
Don't go in intersection because now I can't leave my
(56:12):
light because you blocked.
Speaker 1 (56:13):
Me, because you blocked you in and now.
Speaker 2 (56:16):
You're stuck, and I'm pissed.
Speaker 3 (56:19):
Yeah, people are also if you see the bitch is
like is stuck, don't honk, then you know they're stuck.
Speaker 2 (56:28):
Girl, you honk and won't move them. You honking at
me behind you won't help you out the girl, I.
Speaker 3 (56:34):
Can't go forward because we're stuck. You think I'm gonna
be showing you down.
Speaker 2 (56:39):
I don't. I too have places to go. Leave me alone.
If you if you see an.
Speaker 5 (56:46):
Ambulance or police coming, pull it a side, don't keep
it fast, don't.
Speaker 3 (56:58):
And then and you and and and when when much
are placed to leave, let's let the person assemble back
into the line, because now you have a call that's
criss crossed between the two lanes and they can't go either.
Speaker 2 (57:12):
And guess what a bitch? You stiff again?
Speaker 3 (57:14):
So I just you know who took your hard drive,
who taught your traffic laws? And why do you do this?
Everyone deserves driving rights. Let me give me a license.
You're done, You're done.
Speaker 1 (57:28):
Not the drive is right? Oh yeah, you're wrong.
Speaker 2 (57:33):
It's not wrong.
Speaker 1 (57:34):
Yeah, and shout out, just yeah, shout out to the
people who who who get it. There. Girls, I'll see
driving and I'm like, you get it, you get it, girl,
you get it, get hit it. But they're girls who
act like they're the only people on the road and
the acting showing a whole ass, honey, And I just
be so tired. So I'm right there with you, right
(57:54):
there with you anyway. We are at the we are
at the end of our show. Please send us your thoughts,
your feet back, your emails to Blackfatfempod at gmail dot com.
You can also send us your thoughts via email, I mean,
or via social media. Not via email, woo lord, I'm tired.
You can send us your thoughts via social media by
interacting with our post on Instagram and Twitter by using
the hand of Blackfatfempod. We are on Instagram, we are
(58:17):
on Threads, we are on Blue Sky. We are on
the tick of the Talks. You can watch us anywhere
and everywhere, So yes, please find us, leave us a message,
leave us a comment. We would definitely love to engage
in Queen Jojo. Where can the dolls find you?
Speaker 3 (58:31):
My sweet babes, You can find me at Joe Hoodanel's
across all socials, my websitet journ jails dot com. If
not that, you'll find me hoax smashing every vehicle it's
in the middle of inter section.
Speaker 2 (58:42):
I'll make sure that I'm.
Speaker 3 (58:42):
Make sure that the dog, but I will hope smashing
thro the car somewhere else in a dumpster connect.
Speaker 1 (58:48):
Am I love that?
Speaker 2 (58:51):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (58:52):
I love that so much. Yes, babies, you've got to
we've got to drive a little bit more careful than
what we've been doing. Ask with me. You can find
me and details about my the last up, the last
tail end of this book stop and too our honey,
my God. You can find all of that down to
ww dot Doctor John Paul dot com. You can also
find me on socials using at doctor John Paul. I
(59:15):
have one more bookstop after this this episode drops, have
one more bookstop in Minneapolis. I will be in Uh.
I will be in conversation over I think it's major
and Quinn. I think that's how you pronounce it major
and Quinn. So if you want to check us out,
(59:36):
head over that way. It'll be me and Chris Stepman
who are having a conversation and so if you know
Chris Uh, they're great people. They've been very supportive of
me and my journey, and I'm very happy to be
in convo with them. But yeah, that's pretty much it,
and yeah, thank you for everybody who has shown up.
You can check out my episode of Very Delta that
(59:58):
came out last week. Head over to YouTube to watch that,
or you can listen to it over on Moms of Moguls.
It's a very very very very great episode. We talk
a lot about donuts and we talk about diabetes, so
that that was fun. And then also you can check
out if you haven't had a chance to check out
my episode on what is It thick Boy? Well, yeah
(01:00:23):
that too, thick Boy. That episode came out last week.
Came out last week as well, So thick Boy is
another great conversation. We talk about the book and then
we also It's Our America who We Are Meant to
Be is also on HULUCI you can go check that out.
But other than that, a bitch has been work king,
and so yeah, all of the things. With that being said,
(01:00:44):
we want to thank our producer Ba Wang for handling
all of the logistics and everything that comes with keeping
this podcast, moving and shaking and grooving on Iheart's Network.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, babies. We love you
to death. We'd also like to shout out our wonderful editor,
Chris Rogers, because without him we would have no audio
or visuals. Far down to the tubes of you. This
(01:01:04):
has been another one. Stay black, fat, femine, fabulous, and
remember what joho ween.
Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
We may not be your cup of tea. And if
you aren't girl, then suffer.
Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
Tea period period. That's it. We ain't gonna even don't
even get no water.
Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
Just suffer.
Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
Suffer you, Tommy Teddy said the kiddy. But the milk
is still good. I love us for real. I'll see
you next week. Bye.
The Black Fat Film Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio
and Doctor John Paul LLC. Hey everyone, welcome to another
episode of the blockfests and podcast were all the intersections
of it in are celebrated. I am one of your hosts, John,
also known as Doctor John's Paul. And while you were
on nuke Map trying to figure out how safe you
(00:21):
would be if I ran did decide to be good
dang unless you came to bang bombs over bad dad.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
I know it's not funny, but you got a laugh
to keep from crying while you were worried about retaliation.
Whoo my god. I was on the Buljangos website trying
to find out why none of them holes open in
our area yet. So this is the thing. Don't promise
me something and then go back on it. Bojangles, you
(00:54):
told me a year ago that you would have three
locations in LA and I have not seen one of
them locate ships. I need answers. Where is your scooter?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Girl?
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Where is your scooter?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Anyway?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
How are you? Joh?
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I cannot with you, John, I cannot. I can't you
come out the gates with that? Knowing full well, I
was I was eight. I bet you me up when
I when I posted about Iran Earl earlier last week.
So I ain't saying shakep my mouth shut. I'm just
saying in my lane doing the most people who I
was out here trying people was out here speaking on
(01:32):
my name. It was it was wild. I mean, I
can I can hold, I can hold. I messed up, y'all,
but y'all came.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Too much on me. I was like, y'all even calm down,
like y'all I I I probably ever slipped.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Let's relax, relox and truthfully all y'all coming from me,
Let's be less, let's let's talk to you honestly.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
You want one time post all by folks, but.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Here we are, here, we are Yeah, the man of times.
People are be like I can't believe you would do that.
Like I just I sho something that was a very
real valid fear that everyone's like, how do you share this?
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I was like, you don't share it about black people? Girl?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Why are you in my DMS?
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Like I appreciate a call in, I love a calling. Yeah,
it was just like the several messages of like how
dare you?
Speaker 2 (02:19):
How dare you? What was crazy, girl crazy.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
This is so, this is what I have to say
right before we get into our episode. I think you know,
like we talked about not last week, but the week
before last. We talked about this idea of people walking
around like they are higher, highly mighty bit better. And
you know, I'm because I do social justice the right
(02:43):
the way, I am better than you. And it's that girl,
you are the set you you ship the same way.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
I ship, because are you just like I'm tired of people,
people missing, people mistaking theory for process, Like I'm really
tired of just like like I actually don't care about
out how many books you were, actually don't care about
what my education background was that part?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I here, are you actually in the streets? Do in
the work?
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Are you? Like like I'm and a lot of are
I Like I'm exhausting, I'm exhausting myself trying to work
for the black transpiity.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Here and there you go like, yeah, I don't have
time for the books.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
You don't have time for the art the artic Just
send me are you doing the working out if you
have no outcome? If you have, we're doing in practice,
Like I cannot walk with you now, but Anyway, Anyways, y'all,
it's a girl Jordan aka tig Girl Joho, and I
just have to say no, no, I'm gonna say it
with my no man pants because y'all was.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Busted. I was being tested today by the little busses.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Okay, yeah, fine, Well, as we always do, we're gonna
start off our show by giving flowers Star Girl, Miss
Tisha Campbell and are still here segment Tisha girl, come
on dad to this. Oh, let's talk. I'm gonna keep
putting this out to somebody hear it and invite her
own and let her know that she's got She's got us,
she's got a chair with us. But with that being said,
(04:09):
this week, considering that Pride Month is officially over. By
the time you hear this, you will hear this on
July first, Pride Week will be done. Start off, yes,
Pride months. Yeah, Pride Month will be done. I Pride week,
but Pride Month will be done. I wanted to start
off this week's episode by asking the question, what is
(04:29):
something you may have prayed for this year or even
prayed for, you know under this new moon or you
know under under the under the pride, under the pride month,
you know, the culmination of things. What is something you
may have prayed for that you are happy to see,
something that you're happy to see coming to fruition. I know,
(04:50):
for me, I will say this so at the beginning
of this year, and I've talked about it on the show,
I've talked about it in different you know fast as,
I have even posted about it on social media. I know,
for me, I posted very earlier in the year that
I since losing my friend, losing my best friend to COVID,
and since kind of coming out of COVID, I felt
(05:11):
sort of isolated and feeling as if like I don't
have the closeness or the connections that I maybe once
had with certain people or even certain groups of people
prior to the pandemic. And so at the top of
the year, that was one of my prayers. My prayers was,
you know, God, please, if there's people in my circle
who are not feeding me, let them go on and
do what they need to do on their end. And
(05:32):
if there are people who really want to pour into me,
come on down over here, you know. And I want
to make sure that I don't take away from the
you know, the stuff you do or the things that
my partner does, or even some of the listeners. Right,
we have a lot of listeners who are close friends
of both of ours, right, or people that really go
up from me and really go up for you too.
So I don't want to take away from that, but
I will say when I said this prayer, that was
(05:54):
probably the first prayer I had said like out loud
where it wasn't just a kind of like a you know,
I was intentional. I set down and I prayed to
the universe and I said, and again this is something
I rarely do. I really really said, God, please just
put good people in my life so I can feel
like I have a solid you know, I have a
solid group of friends, and literally, people out of the
(06:16):
blue just started kind of like showing up. And that's
that's what tells me. And I know I say this
a lot, and I joke, you know, this is what
tells me that God is real. Because now I'm like,
I'm I'm having friends hit me and be like, hey,
do you want to do this this month? Hey do
we want to go book that? Or Hey do you
want to come over to do this thing? Or do
you want to and it and it just feels really
good to see in like real time that the universe
(06:37):
is answering my prayers. So yeah, like even thinking about
everybody who showed up for my book talk like and
how folks are using their platforms to help me lift mine,
like shout out to Delta. Yeah, I was on Delta.
I was on very Delta, you know, last week obviously,
And so it's just a lot of stuff has just
been kind of culminating to show me like people really
got me and the universe is answering my prayers. So
(07:00):
it's like it feels like God is like God has
not forgotten about me, and it just God, don't play
about your girl.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
God don't yeah about you.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Amen. Amen.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
He does it every day every day, you know. I
think for me, then I prayed for probably something for fruition.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
I think i've this year. I think I said into
my blackness in a new way. I think that's been
really amazing.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Like getting my getting my hair braided has been like
a really fun expression of like I feeling better. And
so I think like I prayed for like more comfort,
like another level of come for my blackness. I think
also becoming President of Black Pride was like a hard
thing for me because I was like, am I black
enough for this?
Speaker 2 (07:42):
For like myriad reasons, And so I think I prayed.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
I think I prayed for like I think I prayed
for like like I definitely I prayed like universe, like
let me know that this is the right path for me.
Give like give me the courage to step into myself
more and like you know, like like they they they please,
like because like let me leave with the authentic version
of myself. And it's been happening, and I'm very very
thankful for that. I'm very thankful that I feel good.
(08:08):
I feel tired, but I know, like we have so
much good ideas what we're doing, and we're doing so
much good work. I'm excited and like, like you know,
like like even just like today we met with a
potential partner and it was a really great conversation, and
so I'm like, I feel really good about.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
The idea I feel about like who I am.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
As about person and how I'm showing up in my
blackness and the like and like and like like it's
giving them more as you make more confidence in myself
in other ways, it's been really amazing. So I think
that's been coming to fruition, like just like more self,
more self advocacy, more self, more self atteration, more self
belief in a new.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
And new powerful ways. So yeah, and that's my life.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Yeah. No, And I will say this just you know, lovingly.
I will say, keep in mind that some of these
questions that we have about ourselves and how we show
up in this world are tools of white supremacy, you know,
a tool to keep you, you know, questioning your existence
in a world. And so are you black enough? Who
(09:08):
the fuck cares? Keep doing it? You know, keep showing
up in whatever way you want to show up. And
you know, again, at the end of the day, the
work is gonna get done. And that's the thing I
want to say that I definitely want to hold is that,
you know, I appreciate seeing folks like you out here
doing things like Black Pride and all these other things
that you're doing because it reminds me of the stuff
(09:28):
I'm passionate about and the stuff I need to be doing.
So I definitely just wanted to give you your flowers
around that and then braids. Like I said, if I
wasn't tend to head it, I'd be right behind.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
You know, A girl.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
When we do, when we do our sur sf thing,
I'll take you to my braider because honestly, she will you.
You'll be surprised, like, yeah, you fill intender her first,
but she'll do you right, she'll do you love her.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
I will hold you to it.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
And your braids would be so cute.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Yeah, even though I got a big ass head, but.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
You will you look so good and and and know it.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
We can buy you some bundles to go into it, bitch,
you you with a BRIDI of bus down with a
bad bust down how.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
John, baby idea No, because if you're if, bitch, if
you're in, I'll buy you the bundles.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
And please please please down and I would summer.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Please yes, before I let go, I'm yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Please, I'm I am like super here for it. You
already know that. But with that being said, now that
we have taken a moment to give our testimony and
pass the collection plate, we are going to pay our
tides and take a.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Moment to take a quick break. We'll be back in
a second, and we are back famin this week. John's
the driver's seat. We're talking about something that based on
social media. Now I know John your shild footed with
me where person was talking about how epigenetics and the
(11:03):
distrust they have related to certain things.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
You asked if I believe in epigenetics.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
And the thought about how it might drive some of
the generational, generational crystial things we about we have about
stainth things for ourselves. So I know for me, like,
I definitely like sometimes I joke, like I joke with friends,
like the sound of gas triggers me.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Holocaust, like gas.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Didn't know, get out of here. I am done with you.
Get out of here.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
If I if I, if I, if I see a
treat a treat bench rope, I'm like, I'm like, I
freeze up.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
But like, but like, I like, I really do think
there's certain.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Earlier.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
It's an earlier. Girl, you got a laugh to keep
from crying.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
I think you know for me, there are I do believe.
I do believe in the idea that so yes, the
idea that in intergenerational trauma, like I think changes the
expression of every DNA.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I'm not scientists, so I don't know how they how
may we phrase.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
I don't know if it changes specivity in a or
rather like it pages your your behaviors and how they
trust themselves. Like I definitely do think that the way
or like way stress like happens, right, because there are
times where I think, like I can handle a lot
of stress, like I can physically in allow of stress.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Some people can ancelss at all. I can hand a
lot of stress because.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Like both my families have had really stressful experiences and
histories themselves, you know, very and very much like Bootshet
mentality in the sense of like you gotta keep it going,
keep a pushing, even things going wrong. And I think
that is definitely like intergenerational, like not just in terms
of values like immigrant values, right, but.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Like values of like danger, hysteria or survival.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
You know, I think, I think instead of survival, instincts
are passed down, you know, instincts about about being resourceful
are passed down. I think, I think like you know,
I think like like I think I have a certain
intuition in like in myself that I think is like
also past like that to me is passed out for sure,
like because I know people my family have had intuitions, right,
(12:58):
a different level of spiritual.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Connection into something. So I you know, I do believe
in it.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
I do believe like I do believe that there are
that there are ways in which things, like you know,
things change how we are. But I also I also
think though, like like like what I think about last night,
Imber made so like this is really interesting and silly.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
But like.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Growing up, if my dad, if I left and I
left a light on anywhere in the house, like in
the like in the layout of my house growing up,
like the the front of the house was living room,
family room.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
We have too, living room and family room, dinning room, kitchen,
and then hallway and then parents room, my.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Room and in my mom's office. Right so like three bedroom,
two bad house like like like quite like quite a
good size. But like but like you don't see lights,
So you don't see lights from like the family room
or living room, from my from my parents' bedroom.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
But my dad would just know if a light was on.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
He'd like Jordan, Jordan, turn the light off, like anywhere
around he will.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Know that a light is on.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Like yeah, that dou was like my mom my mama
not care that that man was like the like like
I try to stay by Jordan the light, what light
the one thing that hang?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
What's on? My guy?
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Like and now as an adult if if like if
I'm in if I'm I'm in bed even MirOS closed,
if any light is on like my roomates like the
I sense it, I'm like I cannot sleep light And
and I was wondering, like this is silly and this ispiculation,
but like I wonder if part of this is like
(14:31):
is like like pastor from experiences of slavery, right, how
many times?
Speaker 2 (14:36):
How many? How many times? Like how many times? How many?
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Because it's like this.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Is stop.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
How many times we're like sas walking around with lights? Right,
and like yeah, we're actually fearful of the light that
was coming towards them, so they were trying to run
away from right, Okay, when you're right, you smell what
I'm cooking? I literally, I literally I wonder that's the
part of it is like it's like being a good
(15:09):
having like the light right or for example, like like
like I'm alike sleeper typically so like and whenever if
I'm ever asleep and someone's not home, be like the
before they even get to the actual door, I'll wake up,
like like I like like I will wake up. I'll
wake up second second before the can the door, I'll
(15:31):
be like awake, like just like, yeah, you just know,
I just know so aways yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Yo, it's I know she's canceled because she's saying at
the inauguration. But anyway, I was she did, she did?
She did? She did? Who was jewel? Jewel? She's sag
at the inauguration? The girl? Oh no, yeah, who will
say so? But no. So for those so, I think
(16:00):
this is very interesting and I love that you're talking
about this in this way. So for those of you
who are not super into the whole epigenetics conversation, and
like I said, I want to make sure that folks
don't think this is just a you know, a lot
of this is tenfoily, but it also is a real
thing that I was like, I think this will be
a great conversation because we've talked about generational curses in
(16:22):
different facets, but we never really talked about what's the
stuff that's ingrained in us or what are the things
that we kind of feel our in our DNA, and
you know, we're working to kind of undo that. And
so I was telling Joho, I saw someone talk about
this the clip or the tweet, and the tweet the
threat that I saw was a woman talking about the
(16:43):
ways that you know, all the ways that she distrusts things,
and how black people innately have distrust built into them
because of what we've been through and what we've experienced.
And I said, Wow, this reminds me a lot of
And again I like to give credit where credit is due.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
I said, this.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Reminds me a lot of conversation I heard on the
friend Zone where Frand was talking about epigenetics, and I
dipped into wanting to understand it more myself. And so,
for those of you who don't know, epigenetics is this
concept of of things that are traumatic, things specifically traumatic
things that are ingrained in your parents' DNA or in
your parents parents DNA that's passed down to you. And
(17:19):
so there have been studies and again some of these
studies are are you know, there's still big question marks
around what does this truly mean for our DNA? But
I know one of the studies that they did was
around some rats, and it was rats that were taught
to be afraid of cherry blossoms. And basically what they
would use they would they would basically give rats reasons
(17:42):
to be afraid of the cherry blossom, and then they
would let the rats pro create, and then they would
test the rats that came from whatever batch that were
being tested and to see how those baby rats would respond.
And what they found was that the baby rats were
whenever they would see a cherry blossom or whatever, they
would military blossom, they would freak out, right, they would,
(18:03):
the babies would. And so there are all of these studies,
you know, and again don't I don't know how that
would would and again there's been no research that has
tied it to humans, right, But the idea that trauma
is passed down through generations, it's real. And so I
had brought this up because, you know, I wanted to
add a little seasoning to the topic and thinking about
some of the things that maybe have been passed down
(18:25):
to us and things that might be keeping us tied
to this feeling of being quote unquote curse and what
we might be doing to break them. And I know,
for me, you know, one of the things that I
have brought up as I've been dancing around this idea
of like maybe epigenetics is a thinker, Maybe there needs
to be more research and epigenetics, right, I think about
generational curses, and you know, one of the questions that
(18:47):
I've had is, you know, and maybe this is a
question that I have more for you, what's your take
on the idea of generational curses and how have you
seen them play out in your life? And before you
answer that, I know, for me, I think one of
the biggest generational curses that I have seen is this
idea of feeling like your and again, generational curses as
(19:08):
we're talking about DNA and epigenetics or feelings, right, this
idea that you should always be worried about something. I know, worry,
And I'll talk more about this worry a little bit later,
but I do know that worry is something that I
constantly have to fight in my mind every day, and
that's something that I'm wanting to break. But yeah, what
about you, what's something that you have seen kind of
play out in your own life?
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Would be great question. Oh my gosh, such a great question.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
I think I have.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
I have a hard time trusting people to get things done,
that's for sure. I think it's like a generational CURSI
it's like asking for help and trusting people get things done,
I feel, And that's like right in some cases, like
family history of I cannot be dependent on people because
(20:02):
you might you might die, like it's life or death.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Right.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
My mom always says that if you want to do something,
you gotta do with yourself.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Yeah, right, and like, and I think I don't want
to be that person because I rely on community a lot,
and I love community. There are some things that I'm like,
I just like I just don't need help, like I.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Like I will.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
I never need people to like open doors for me.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
I feel like I do it myself, like if everyone
want to you, right, I appreciate people do like I
never I've never asked people to do that because I
just is not I'm a well because I always think
someone how might someone might always have a transaction and
I don't.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
I'm not a transactional person. And in some cases it's
proven to be true.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
But I think my my like my general genericial curse
is like not to trust people will do the right
thing and say and say they'll do what they say
they'll do.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
And my biggest piece of people who don't say, don't
say that.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
They'll do like even if even if I'm late, even
even if it's.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Like not perfect, I will so do the thing right.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
And people who don't do it and make judge judge
people wall and I just like I could.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
I shouldn't it myself like I like I should.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
And so I think that is like there is something
that I was, like a like a Germi show thing
that I'm trying to unlearn. I think also like my
sensitivity to potential danger, like.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I'm always in fire or fast.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
I feel like, yeah, I don't ever feel right, like
like when I walk into a bar, my first art
of the exits?
Speaker 2 (21:25):
How do I get there?
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Cloud?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Do I good right there? At there?
Speaker 1 (21:31):
How do I get out that front?
Speaker 2 (21:32):
I find out if.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
I if I sit down a restaurant, I'm my seat
usually will case the exits as well.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
So I'm about to railro.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
Because I can't trust that you'll warm me digit comes,
I'll warn you, but I can't trust you that you'll
warn this bitch, you know. So I think like those
are some of the because I have is never feeling
safe everywhere always, and there's a level of endangerment whatever
I do, even leading my house.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
You know, when I walk home my nighttime, I walk
home with my keys between my fingers.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
You know, like I'm You're not if you don't give
me a girl, I'm gonna scratch.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
You're gonna know that you yes, and then.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Okay, you're gonna know you're okay.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
If you, if you, if you, if if you, if
you take me down, you will come out bleeding still,
like do not do not try it with me like that.
So I think those are like the curses I have,
you know, I think I think those are like pretty
great present ones. I think the other thing is the
one thing I've one thing I've I've broken occurs is
(22:37):
scarcity mentality. When it comes to money, I think like
and not not not not that you're riches rich, like
not that I'm rich now that I'm got I got
some money at the wall Zoo.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
But I have work to break the idea.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Like like like that like that money won't come to me,
like I believe, like like what how that song go?
Speaker 2 (23:00):
It was like with the money? Was that with the
money braz Yeah? What a money? Is that money?
Speaker 3 (23:07):
But that like like that's that's like like that's a
I feel like I've broken the I've broken the curse
of fling.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Like things are scarce, Like I think I'm abundant.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
I think things are abundant, like like if I if
I if I give money, I don't expect it back
because I know I'll make it back. I hope for
a back because I want to back, but like I
put it back because I know I can make.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
It back, you know.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
I like I trust that I'm taken care of. When
things are hard, I'm like, know what, Like it's a
hard month. God got me, you never got me? So yeah,
so that those little bits I think I'm gonna play
on my life. I'm curious ask you, is there a
pattern or something in your life that you think you might.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
That might have might have been passed on as well?
Now have you worked to break it?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Yeah, I will say so. I made mention of this earlier,
you know, thinking about the worry. But also this, this
the game of fear is something that I feel like,
you know, being concerned that there's always going to be
something that's gonna go wrong. And I think having to
reframe this, this this feeling of there's always going to
(24:05):
be something wrong, like even down to like my mom,
you know, with the traveling, my mom calls me all
the time, where are you at? What are you doing?
You know, I just want to make sure you're safe
and I'm like, Mom, you can, you can rest sure
and know that I'm okay, Like you don't have to always.
But again, I know, I know that that's her her
way of moving and operating, and I think in my
grandfather it's the same way. And one of the things
(24:27):
that you know, I don't think I've ever told anybody
is you know, and I don't even know if you
know this, but one of my uncles when I was
younger was was was profiled and attacked and murdered by
the LAPD. And so knowing my mom, knowing the direct
connection that my grandfather had to that, and knowing the
direct connection my mom has to that, I think my
(24:49):
mom innately and my grandfather innately has always had it
kind of embedded in them that, you know, we're a target, right,
no matter what we do, no matter where we go,
we're always a target. And so I think they're always
constantly works about that. And that's something I've had to
kind of like relinquish in my own mind, is like
I can't constantly live my life day to day being
worried that something is going to go wrong or that
I'm something terrible it's gonna happen to me and you know.
(25:12):
And I think the other part of it too is
you know, I think you know, being like you said
to some to one of the pieces that you shared earlier, Right,
this notion of not being able to trust people, you know,
it's not even trusting that people are not going to
do anything. I just for years I just didn't trust
people in general. I just I don't know your intentions.
I don't know who you are. I don't know what
(25:33):
you're trying to bring into the space. I don't trust
your energy, you know. And I also know that a
lot of that is religious trauma too. Right, growing up
in a very religious space, I was taught that your
other I'm you know, I'm in the right religion. I'm
doing I know the people who are connected to my
religion are good people. You're not a good person, so
I can't trust you. And I think having to like
(25:54):
unlearn that and just be like, just because someone has
a different religious belief than you doesn't necessarily in him
make them a bad person, just unless their religious beliefs
are rooted in harming you or taking your rights away.
That's when we have a problem. And I think that's
something that I've really had to kind of like undo
around quote unquote, the generational curse is recognizing that, you know, safety,
(26:17):
safety can mean so many different things for different people.
But I don't have to constantly live in this place
as if, you know, I don't have to live in
Halloween every you know, every day, you know what I mean,
I don't have to there. You know, there's there's not
that many booths and you know, scary things around the
corner every day. And I think that some people in
this and like I said, some of my family, they
(26:38):
live that way. They lived that way, and I just
don't necessarily it's how do I say this, It just
doesn't It's not me. It's not something I want to
constantly have, Like I don't constantly always want to be
in this place that you know, all I ever have
to do in my life is worried because it just
(27:00):
I mean, and that's what that's the thing I think
I've learned. I've really learned. You know, I'll even say this.
You know, my mother, my partner, to an extent, some
of the other friends and family, I know they're constantly
worried about the next hour, or the next day or
the next month. And I'm like baby, You're worried about
something that hasn't even occurred yet. So why am I
gonna be worried about being broke tomorrow if I got
(27:21):
money today and then, like you said, I'm not rich.
But I also don't go to bed anymore being like,
oh my god, I'm so worried about where my next
check is gonna come from. Like, no, I'm just not
gonna live that way because the reality is is now,
I've spent this entire week giving out energy into the
world around something I truly have no control over. I'm
doing the best that I can. I'm working as much
(27:42):
as I can. I'm putting out whatever I can to
let people know that I'm capable of doing a good job,
and whatever comes back to me is what will come
back to me. But I just don't have it. And
I think also part of it is me growing up too, right,
is recognizing like you don't have to constantly live in
a state of fear, Like living in a state of
fear is not something that is conducive to me or
(28:03):
to the work I want to do in this world.
If I'm constantly working out of fear, out of out
of worry, then then then what am I telling other
people who I'm trying to lift up? What am I
telling other people who are looking to me for the
solace and to be uplifted. So that's something that I've
really had to fight in the last couple of years.
You know, I would I would like to know, you know,
(28:24):
I guess thinking about how you've approached this topic when
you're with your with your family, thinking about this idea
of like what these curses might mean. And I know
we've talked about Like I said, we've talked about familial
things in the past, but like talking directly, I know you,
I know you've mentioned conversations with your mother. I know
you've mentioned conversations with your sister and your brothers. I
(28:44):
would love to know, like the idea that you all
have to be the ones to put these curses to bed,
Like what what has that looked like for you? You
know it is? It is Well, the.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Conversations with my family are different than the conversations I
have with like people like my other loved ones, like
my friends and such. You know, well, we all have.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
Different proximity to what it means to break curses, right,
Like I share with my mom this idea sometimes I
don't think, not that she's not interested in breaking curses,
but I think there is that's a level of self work.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
I don't think she'll.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
She will.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
I totally see her if she's able to or just
doesn't want to, because like she's lived a full life,
so it's like, what am I trying to do now?
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Right?
Speaker 3 (29:38):
And the people who place those curses are no longer
here with us, and she has to and I sometimes
don't know she will. I think with my siblings, you know,
we talked about me and my brother about this a lot.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
In particular, I think my sister does to my sister.
My sister sometimes my sister sometimes.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Is like fuck it, ah, the curious girl, I love
this shit right, you know, like she's like in a
funny way.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
But I think I think my brother and I are probably.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
The most I think the most like. I don't know
the most like because I actually I also know that
like my my brother who's been who is incarcerated for
thirty years and was returned newly returned last year, I'll
spend a year ready since he came out.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
That's what.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
Yeah, He's talked a lot about like breaking general breaking general,
generational curses. I think we have to because, like we
talked about, like we have to because if we don't,
we run the risk of like damaging further gnerations of us.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
And we don't want that.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
We know that we're damaged and we don't want to
participate in the damaging with the people.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
We also know.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
That the curses and traumas are that we inherited from
our people above us that led them to not have
good full lives.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Yeah, and we don't want to have of We don't
want to have shortened lives now. We don't want to
have not good lives.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
We're gonna have rich and beautiful and exciting full lives.
We can only do that if we actively work against
the curses that we're putting us in that way, you
put this curses to bed. So I think, you know,
I think that's how we push the topic of discussion
is like we being one, how how do you become
mindful of what was passed down for us?
Speaker 2 (31:23):
Right?
Speaker 3 (31:23):
Like what do our hands hold? You're like, where are
we obligated to hold? What can we actually just let
go of? Like there's a there's a duty, there's a
sense of do your obligation to hold something and what
can we say this actually is not what.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
My hands aren't made for this. I can put this down,
and I can.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
My hands a small but then natural.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
I cannot, you know.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
I also think it's important to note right that like
our take on breaking ger mystial curses are often informed.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
By our own insections of who we are, right.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
And like like like we have a privilege to be
able to engage in the thought of changing breaking systems
like not everyone can not the tools to do so.
Everyone wants to do so, you know, And I guess
I'm also just said like like in the you know,
in the in the sphere of like like like wrapping
this conversation with the boat, like like what is the
liberation from that trauma? Passion also look like for us,
(32:20):
like for me, I think a lot about this now
a conversation with with with my brother age, I'll made
a conversation about this, like this passage in Jewish texts
I have read a few times. I'll try and give
you like like a quick summary.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
There's a part in I want to say, it's not
in the tour.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
I think it's like in like the like like like
some some like some of my Jewish text but not
not like not not like not like the Holy the Holy.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Text essentially, but I think it's Kamara.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
And so there's some rabbis this Rabbi Johanan, Rabbi Haya
and Rabbi Hanina and so and so and so Rabbi
Hi falls ill, and rebbe Hia Yohanan student Rabbi Johanan
like like checks on Hya and Hyas like, oh I'm sick,
(33:10):
And Robert Johana is like, is your suffering? Is your
suffering dear to you? Do you desire to be ill
or reflicted? And Rabbi Hyah says, I welcome neither the
suffering nor it's reward. I when he welcomes with suffering
with love, is rewarded, but like like like we we're
with more suffering.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
So Rabbi Yohanan says like, give me your hand and
like and heals him.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Rabbi Johanan also then falls ill, and Rabbi Hanina visits
him and I.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Was like, hey, girl, is your suffering dear to you?
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Johanan says like, I welcome this suffering nor reward And
then and then raby Hanina Healsohanan, you know someone someone
something like the questions asked if Rabbi Yohandan, like, why
didn't you wait to heal?
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Why don't you wait to heal yourself? Yeah, I'm not sorry.
Why did you write for.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
Hanina when you can feel yourself Youhanan says, a prisoner
generally cannot free hurt himself from prison, but depends on
others to release them from the shackles.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Right the.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Words and so and so we talk about like with
like with like liberation from gensional trauma. Impression is when
like you can't do it by yourself, like like like
like when you're shackled by oppression, you can't like like
you actually can't make the change yourself every time, you know,
I hold that as much as I hold Asasha chorus
chance of like we have nothing to break but our chains,
right right, and we have there's nothing to lose with
(34:33):
our chains, but like losing your chains, sometimes you can't.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Break for yourself.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
You have to do it with with others. And also
you have to be willing to let go of suffering
because right like like that text taught me that pump
people like suffering a safety. Suffering is comfort right like
like the suffering is bondage, but there's a comfort and
bondage because you know what's gonna happen. So much of
Jewish history and text was the idea of like the
Jewish will suffer a lot, but they like but like
(34:59):
when they had to fight for the free the most
hard and scary because they have no you want.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
To expect the other side of that.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
And so I think also we often refuse to break
change or break curses or the ol trauma because we're
scared of who we will become after them, because our
sense of self right is wrapped up and suffering, and
so like for us to say I have to relinquish
who I am and be open to who I'll become
or who I'm becoming without this trauma, it is scary
(35:27):
and hard and like gross and sticky. It's it can
feel crunchy and painful. But I think personally, I think
right like like like like what a gift is to
do that, And that's the most apportant thing is to
say I can change, and I can change with others
and others can have me change, right like the function
of freedom is to free others. And if I can't,
(35:48):
if I if I can't be free. Without you being free,
then we have to free each other as well too.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Yeah, I so yes to all of that, and I
appreciate that, you know, I always appreciate when you bring in,
you know, whatever Jewish ideologies or concepts and to help
people kind of expand the ways that they think about this,
this this idea of freedom, because I think, and I
will say this, I think there's such an American way
of thinking about what freedom is and thinking about you know,
(36:16):
breaking chains or breaking all of it is so rooted
and a lot of what I like to think of
is you know, patriarch patriarchy, patriarical ideologies and concepts. Right,
there is no real essence of the soul in some
of these conversations, and so I feel like when you
offer up these concepts are these thoughts, you're really taking
(36:38):
it to a place of trying to connect it back
to the person. And I think it's so much more
than saying freedom is having, you know, having money to
do this, or freedom is being able to talk about this,
or freedom is you know, X, Y and Z. It
really is this idea of thinking about what are the
things And this is something that I've been trying to
do so much in a lot of my work. What
is the thing that I feel like I am. I
(37:01):
kind of want to go back to your point about
this idea of people not breaking quote unquote these change
because they worry about what's on the other side or
who am I without this? And I think it's kind
of the ways that some people are are you know,
I've had to stop and ask people, like you're always worried,
or you're always stressed, or you're always angry about something,
like have you ever thought about what your life would
be like if you were just okay? Like some people
(37:24):
don't know what it's like to just be okay, Like
this idea that everything is gonna work out and even
if it doesn't work out the way I want it
to work out, it's still gonna work out. Right, What
does ease look like for you? And what does what
does breathing that that that you know, whatever we want
to call it, what does that look like? And I
think so many of us are so and especially marginalized people,
(37:46):
we're so caught up in the bad, like everything is
so bad. And that's what I'm really trying to like
get people to see now, even in my own organization,
I'm trying to get people to understand like, this is intentional.
This is exactly the way that you know, elements of
white supremacy works. It's to keep you locked in fear.
It's to keep you in this cycle of thinking and
(38:07):
feeling like emotionally you're gonna always have something bad happen.
And you pass that down, right, you want to pass
that down to your nieces, your nephews, your kids, your
kids kids, to let them know, like you got to
be worried about the people at the top. And when
you get free enough to say, I'm worried about y'all,
I'm scared of y'all, I'm not There is nothing that
you can really say or do to me that ain't
already been done that that changes so many things. So
(38:30):
I just I guess for me, I really like to
think of liberation as being this kind of thing of
folks getting to a place of recognizing that, yes, you
can acknowledge the bad, and you can acknowledge the things
that have happened throughout your trajectory and your life, but
that you can also be okay with today. It is
okay for you to look forward to tomorrow. It is
(38:51):
okay for you to be okay with the idea that
it may not work out one hundred percent the way
you want it to work out, but it will. It's
going to you. I even think looking at us, we're living.
I think we're living and telling examples of people who
you know. I mean, I got a couple more years
on you. But the reality is like we're living, we're
(39:14):
living examples of this ship's gonna work out. It's gonna
be okay, and you don't have to live in worry
or fear all the time.
Speaker 3 (39:23):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's
God okay, family, that we have given you all a
blueprint to break in the chains. We got to be
great for some advertisements. I might need to find me
an advertisement for some for some hair anti itch because
oh lord, yeah damn. We be back in just a
(39:44):
psycho fan.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
With the shack gos on my feet.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
So I just had okay, y'all, I have had so
many songs come across my head, and like I said this,
(40:18):
I know it's the neural spiciness in me. But with
that being said, we are back, y'all, And this conversation
is a conversation I have been having with myself while
I've been on the planes and been flying into cities
and out of cities and doing all this stuff. So
I just want to say this, and I think this,
this conversation may get us canceled brunos, who cares, Jordan.
(40:40):
I feel like, just you travel just as much as
I do, and I know you know, so so what
y'all Okay, So I'm gonna just say this. We're gonna
this segment. We're gonna go ahead and go back to
our roots, and we're gonna do what's on your plate.
But what I wanted to do was I wanted to
lean into this idea that both of us love to
eat when we are on the road. We like to
(41:00):
try new things, we like to post new things. And
I wanted to lean heavily into this idea of what
what what are some of the things that people have
said is really good that you were like, yes, they
are correct, it is fantastic, it is good. Everything I've
gotten is great. Or what are the things that people
(41:21):
have been like, Yo, this is really good and you
should go try this when you're in that city and
you've been like nah, girl. So I just I wanted
to have a conversation about in your mind, what have
the city's with the best and the worst food? Do
you think it compares the home? Because the thing is,
we're both from California, and I have some really spicy
(41:42):
takes on what I believe is the best food in California.
And also I feel like there are a lot of
people who are lying about their food in their cities,
and I just wanted us to talk about it. So
I'm not gonna tell you what I have, but i
just want to. I want to see what you're what
you've got to say, and I want to plus want
it or I want to I want to put a
negative next.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
So you said you said expose myself, let me see
the heat.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
Okay, so let me say cities.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
First of all, we'll say Cleveland, Ohio.
Speaker 3 (42:13):
I will say that there's not like no one ever
says good to Cleveland for food, Like no one saying
good food there?
Speaker 2 (42:20):
How did I did I eat? Sure? Was anything amazing?
Speaker 3 (42:23):
No, But like no one said, no one saying Cleve
when he said but Cleve it was. I was a
fun city. I enjoyed myself there, but no one that
I went to was no one knowing that no one
that no one's ever liked.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
Cleveland's best, blest place for some food. That's a lot.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
When I was in Mexico City, someone said Rosetta, but
bad for saying it, said Rosetta.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
There's an Italian place in.
Speaker 3 (42:46):
Roman Or someone said it was one of the best
Italian places right now certified lies.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Because why because why was our pasta cold? First of all?
Why cold?
Speaker 3 (43:00):
My my my friend got up sausage boli that she
was minced to the point where I was a girl
that looks like sausage dust not dust dust. I got
this like this, I got this like crab while was
the crab not in the ravelly, but just.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
On top of it, was just on top of the rabbit.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
It was just it was not it was not nothing
was giving and reservation only it's like hardy reservations. We
luckly to walk in right like when they first opened.
So they they did an empty table. Girl, I was
like the the the the the civil lightning was at
that restaurant.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
I saw got make and I was gone.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
I okay, in the city of all places.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Gotten performed, Got got performed. That next night, I also
liked I also lied to God make. I also said,
I got make, and that when I want to come
and apologize, it's got to make. If you if you
hear this, you said, hi, Gorge to me the picture,
took a picture together, and I told you to your face,
you chose a great restaurant. I had already eaten and
I did not like my meal, and I didn't have
(44:02):
the heart to tell you it was not good.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
Now you had him there as well too.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
I saw you have a little lying. I said, Noah,
let me just tell you girl.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
You get a great place.
Speaker 3 (44:10):
And I lied to you, M Chris, and I help
you insert.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
Like sad music. As as I did all that.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
I had, I had to come forward in confession. I'll
do ten him Mary's exactly. So I would say that
in New York, I'll say best. Someone said I have
to try tie dinner in in like near Little Lily neighborhood.
And I can confirm my ship was ten fire certifi busting.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Well, you were staying in one of the best areas
of New I was, and I was there. I have
been there. Shout out to Bernadette who took me to
that area when I was there in New York.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
And I'll tell you, yes, some of the talent people
to tell me to try was not busting.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
I was like, no, what I've had better. I've had
a better Italian flud in San Diego.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
And that, and that was as I was like, yeah,
you know, not not all the best in some of
the pizzas. Man, maybe you're not, so can I can
I step there for seconds?
Speaker 2 (45:10):
I definitely want to say this.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
I you know, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna leave
you out there to get all of the heat. I'm
gonna say that I don't believe. Oh, my friends in
Chicago are going to be so mad at me for
saying this. Everything I had in Chicago was awful. Everything
I don't and I and and and people kept saying, oh,
here go here. I've been to Chicago twice and the
(45:33):
food just wasn't as good as people purport it to be.
It's just not and I I I don't, I don't,
I don't know what it is. But I'm just like,
and maybe that's because that's their thing. Like it's kind
of the way we go up for California and we say, oh,
this thing in California is so good, and people come
to California like absolutely it's not. Maybe it's the same thing, right,
(45:54):
Maybe it's the we you know, we gas up our city.
But I just Chicago, absolutely not New Orleans. Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
Someone told me, someone told me, now, not too much
on my city.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
Now go ahead, one of the best. Oh oh, now
your city. Not too much on my city. Sometime the
best gumbo was gonna be this place, like like near
downtown was not the best.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
The best gumboy I have was was.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
I lick of Stone off okay Lico Stone in the
French Quarter.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
The best poe boy and the best gumbo of my life.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
I want to shout out, I am in So we're
recording right now. By the time you hear this, i'll
be home, but I will say I am in New Orleans.
And they never fail. There's this place called Mambo, and
like I literally, when I get off of this, I'm
probably gonna order from them again because their food is
just so good, and it is so consistently good from
top to bottom. Everything I've had from there both The
(46:48):
last time I was here, I was here for Essence
Vest last year, and I was here this year. Obviously
this year's the last few days ago. I was here
for a Bookstop, Mambo's fantastic. I've yet to try Loretta's.
I know people keep telling me Therettas is one of
the best places in New Orleans to go. Lorettas was
not open today, and so I'm really sad because I'm
not going to get another It's another time that I
(47:09):
didn't get a chance.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
To try it.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
But yeah, I definitely want to say like New Orleans,
by far, I have yet to have anything here that
has made me go I never want to eat there again,
like everything that I've had here, and I usually only
eat mom and Pop when I'm here because I genuinely believe,
like why am I gonna come here and eat something
(47:31):
that I could get back in California? But they Yeah,
I hear you. Not everything is made with the same love.
But I will tell you right now, mostly everything I've
had here is good. Chicago not so much. I will
also say Texas. Nothing that I've had in Texas has
been good. Sorry about it. I don't care. San Antonio nasty,
(47:53):
Houston nasty, Dallas nasty. I don't want it. I don't
think it's good. I'm sorry, y'all. I just don't even
the barbecue. The barbecue was like Mexican food maybe, but nah, girl,
it's not given. What I'll say is given. Sorry, sorry girl.
Yeah yeah, I'm trying to think of Oh I will
(48:15):
say this so I don't And if Quasm or if
Heather listens to this episode, I want them to ping me.
There was a pizza place that was in San Francisco
that I had and it's probably the best pizza that
I've ever had in my life, because baby, I don't know,
I don't remember the name of it. I do remember
it was by that park though, you know that park
(48:36):
where everybody name I'm gonna go.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
In San Francisco, Dolores Park.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
I think so, yeah, I think it is. And there's
that whole street. It's really busy. There's a pizza place
right on the corner. It is so my god, it
is the best pizza I have ever had in my life.
And I've been to And I'll also want to say this.
You know what, France, you ain't gonna get out of
(49:02):
this one games either, because I went to France. Y'all
tried to tell me that the food in Paris was
good and it's not. Nothing that I had in Paris
was good except for that burger I had. That burger
was the only thing I had that was good while
I was there. I'm just saying it wasn't good, So
sorry about it.
Speaker 3 (49:19):
You heard it here first, folks, Yeah, you heard it
here that everywhere, all these food places that these people be.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
Said good, it's not as good as they try to
tell you. So I will say this. If you want
to prove me wrong, buy me a ticket to Chicago
and give me a list of food with some money,
and I will eat. I will will do, we will.
I'm not gonna even say us. Give us somebody, somebody
give us some money so we could go do a
(49:47):
tour through Chicago, find all the good places to actually eat.
Got like a guys, guys, you know the dives and drives.
Speaker 3 (49:58):
We'll give us here on the Patreon girl, did you yes?
Speaker 1 (50:03):
Girl, subscribers only and the sponsor us, Yes, God, yes,
all right. Oh so I guess it's me taking us
to commercial. Okay, all right, No, it's fine, all right.
So now that we now that we now that we
have officially lost some listeners, we're gonna take a quick
(50:23):
break to pay these sponsors so we don't lose the
entire show, and we get back. We are gonna be
here with y'all's favorite segment, Yes ma'am, No, Man, Pam
will be back in a way, all right, y'all. So
we are at the part of the show our yes
(50:44):
maam and I know man. For those who are new
to the show, we are basically this is where we
talk about the things that we love and that we're celebrating.
Are the things that we absolutely can't stand, are the
things that we wish we'll just ultimately die and go away.
And so this week my yes man, so I know,
Man Pam's are very light considering that the world is
on fire, and it's like, why should I add to
it this week? I wanted to say so. I had
(51:06):
mentioned I wanted to mention this a couple of weeks ago,
and I totally forgot because I think we got into
a whole bunch of other conversations and it was something.
But I definitely want to say shout out to the
people in Huntington Beach who ultimately were able to get
I think there were two different measures. I did my googles,
I researched. There were two different measures, and basically one
(51:27):
of the measures was one to make sure that city
officials or government officials had no dictation over what books
could be put in the libraries in that city. And
then another one was to make sure that the librarians
would keep the power that they had while they were
in like the people who worked for the libraries, the
(51:48):
librarians would be able to keep the power. There were
two different measures and they both passed, and so basically
what that being said, Basically, the people of Huntington Beach said,
we want our government off of our like city things
like we want librarians, we want the people, we want
the community to be able to decide the things that
they think are best for them. And I just want
to say, I think that is absolutely fantastic to see
(52:10):
a city that is very very very very very red
and conservative starting to kind of look around and be like, actually,
I think a lot of this stuff is not as
bad as y'all are saying it is. And for those
of you who don't know the whole, a lot of
it's not even just Huntington Beach. It's a lot of
these cities. They are trying to say that books that
are inclusive, books like mine, books like George M. Johnson's,
(52:34):
what they're trying to do is they're trying to label
it as porn because it's talking about identity and gender expression.
And so I think folks are starting to wake up
and they're starting to realize that a lot of the
stuff that they're seeing and folks, what folks are doing,
are coming from a very, very very Christian nationalist ideology.
So kudos to them, my no man, Pam. You know,
(52:56):
I genuinely have so many things that are on my mind.
I could talk about our government, I can talk about
just a lot of the stuff that I'm seeing in
terms of how people talk and treat one another. But
I think I'm just gonna go ahead and go back
to something that has really been irking me being considering
that I've been living out of a hotel for maybe
(53:16):
the last month and a half, and I think I've
said this before, and I'm just gonna say it again,
because you know, it bears repeating. It's called door dash,
it is called uber eats, it is called I'm paying
a five ninety nine fee and a six dollar seven dollars,
(53:38):
eight dollars sometimes nine or ten dollars tip. I don't
want to meet you downstairs. I don't I don't. I don't,
and and I understand some hotels won't let you up.
So I want to say this, I don't want to
meet you at your car. I don't.
Speaker 2 (53:55):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (53:55):
I don't want to come out to your car. Leave
it in the lobby. If I have to come down,
I'll come down. But I don't. I don't want to
meet you in the lobby for my food. I don't.
I don't want to do that. Don't call me and
tell me, oh, I'm outside, come get your food. No, no, no,
no no no door dash you you find somewhere to park,
(54:18):
put on your flashes, put my food where it needs
to be. I will come down and get it or
come to my door.
Speaker 2 (54:23):
But I'm not.
Speaker 1 (54:24):
I'm not.
Speaker 3 (54:24):
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (54:24):
I'm not doing that with you. Sorry, baby, sorry about it. Yeah,
that's where I'm at. What about you?
Speaker 3 (54:31):
My yes, ma'am so sleep But also true, like the
button says leave up my door, that means at my.
Speaker 1 (54:37):
Door, at at my door.
Speaker 4 (54:42):
Period, at my door, my yes, ma'am, pam. Honestly, I
just it's just gonna be a doochi right now, like
no pharticular reason.
Speaker 2 (54:52):
I just love doch.
Speaker 3 (54:53):
I think I'm sure done to dos you before too
wants to do it again because I just I just
I asked your music often.
Speaker 2 (55:00):
But I was just like hearing those bleeds again, Like
I put on repeat like.
Speaker 3 (55:02):
Five times, and I was just like, this is just
such a fucking bob like like it's just like genius beautiful, amazing,
so dope, so like like lyrically lyrically blessed, melodically blessed
like so it looks amazing, just like black as hell,
like dough g yes game to you.
Speaker 2 (55:21):
You ever hear this, please come on the show. We'd
love to have you.
Speaker 3 (55:24):
You're amazing nose bleeds to once today, Boombat once a day,
you're looking fruitcake once a day, Black Memoir once a day,
Like I just love doughhe so much. And no man,
Pam is okay, so when you say to home, for
there's a three mile droger to get home, and no one,
(55:46):
I'm real, no one can just like y'all can't.
Speaker 2 (55:48):
Drive in these streets.
Speaker 3 (55:49):
Like I just no man to drivers because if you know,
if you have to cross the intersection and you know
that there's no chance in how that your car will
make here across the intersection, just stay at the light.
Don't go in intersection because now I can't leave my
(56:12):
light because you blocked.
Speaker 1 (56:13):
Me, because you blocked you in and now.
Speaker 2 (56:16):
You're stuck, and I'm pissed.
Speaker 3 (56:19):
Yeah, people are also if you see the bitch is
like is stuck, don't honk, then you know they're stuck.
Speaker 2 (56:28):
Girl, you honk and won't move them. You honking at
me behind you won't help you out the girl, I.
Speaker 3 (56:34):
Can't go forward because we're stuck. You think I'm gonna
be showing you down.
Speaker 2 (56:39):
I don't. I too have places to go. Leave me alone.
If you if you see an.
Speaker 5 (56:46):
Ambulance or police coming, pull it a side, don't keep
it fast, don't.
Speaker 3 (56:58):
And then and you and and and when when much
are placed to leave, let's let the person assemble back
into the line, because now you have a call that's
criss crossed between the two lanes and they can't go either.
Speaker 2 (57:12):
And guess what a bitch? You stiff again?
Speaker 3 (57:14):
So I just you know who took your hard drive,
who taught your traffic laws? And why do you do this?
Everyone deserves driving rights. Let me give me a license.
You're done, You're done.
Speaker 1 (57:28):
Not the drive is right? Oh yeah, you're wrong.
Speaker 2 (57:33):
It's not wrong.
Speaker 1 (57:34):
Yeah, and shout out, just yeah, shout out to the
people who who who get it. There. Girls, I'll see
driving and I'm like, you get it, you get it, girl,
you get it, get hit it. But they're girls who
act like they're the only people on the road and
the acting showing a whole ass, honey, And I just
be so tired. So I'm right there with you, right
(57:54):
there with you anyway. We are at the we are
at the end of our show. Please send us your thoughts,
your feet back, your emails to Blackfatfempod at gmail dot com.
You can also send us your thoughts via email, I mean,
or via social media. Not via email, woo lord, I'm tired.
You can send us your thoughts via social media by
interacting with our post on Instagram and Twitter by using
the hand of Blackfatfempod. We are on Instagram, we are
(58:17):
on Threads, we are on Blue Sky. We are on
the tick of the Talks. You can watch us anywhere
and everywhere, So yes, please find us, leave us a message,
leave us a comment. We would definitely love to engage
in Queen Jojo. Where can the dolls find you?
Speaker 3 (58:31):
My sweet babes, You can find me at Joe Hoodanel's
across all socials, my websitet journ jails dot com. If
not that, you'll find me hoax smashing every vehicle it's
in the middle of inter section.
Speaker 2 (58:42):
I'll make sure that I'm.
Speaker 3 (58:42):
Make sure that the dog, but I will hope smashing
thro the car somewhere else in a dumpster connect.
Speaker 1 (58:48):
Am I love that?
Speaker 2 (58:51):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (58:52):
I love that so much. Yes, babies, you've got to
we've got to drive a little bit more careful than
what we've been doing. Ask with me. You can find
me and details about my the last up, the last
tail end of this book stop and too our honey,
my God. You can find all of that down to
ww dot Doctor John Paul dot com. You can also
find me on socials using at doctor John Paul. I
(59:15):
have one more bookstop after this this episode drops, have
one more bookstop in Minneapolis. I will be in Uh.
I will be in conversation over I think it's major
and Quinn. I think that's how you pronounce it major
and Quinn. So if you want to check us out,
(59:36):
head over that way. It'll be me and Chris Stepman
who are having a conversation and so if you know
Chris Uh, they're great people. They've been very supportive of
me and my journey, and I'm very happy to be
in convo with them. But yeah, that's pretty much it,
and yeah, thank you for everybody who has shown up.
You can check out my episode of Very Delta that
(59:58):
came out last week. Head over to YouTube to watch that,
or you can listen to it over on Moms of Moguls.
It's a very very very very great episode. We talk
a lot about donuts and we talk about diabetes, so
that that was fun. And then also you can check
out if you haven't had a chance to check out
my episode on what is It thick Boy? Well, yeah
(01:00:23):
that too, thick Boy. That episode came out last week.
Came out last week as well, So thick Boy is
another great conversation. We talk about the book and then
we also It's Our America who We Are Meant to
Be is also on HULUCI you can go check that out.
But other than that, a bitch has been work king,
and so yeah, all of the things. With that being said,
(01:00:44):
we want to thank our producer Ba Wang for handling
all of the logistics and everything that comes with keeping
this podcast, moving and shaking and grooving on Iheart's Network.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, babies. We love you
to death. We'd also like to shout out our wonderful editor,
Chris Rogers, because without him we would have no audio
or visuals. Far down to the tubes of you. This
(01:01:04):
has been another one. Stay black, fat, femine, fabulous, and
remember what joho ween.
Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
We may not be your cup of tea. And if
you aren't girl, then suffer.
Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
Tea period period. That's it. We ain't gonna even don't
even get no water.
Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
Just suffer.
Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
Suffer you, Tommy Teddy said the kiddy. But the milk
is still good. I love us for real. I'll see
you next week. Bye.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!