September 3, 2024 • 58 mins
This week your BFFs invite the incomprehensible Bebe Soft on to talk about life, finding love for yourself while in transition and how fun it can be to deconstruct gender and identity expectations on the internet.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Black Fat Fem Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio
and Doctor John Paul LLC. Hey everyone, welcome to another
episode of the Blackfeft Fim Podcast, where all the intersections
of a nity are celebrated. I am one of your hosts,
John also known as John Paul, and while our unfavorite
person forty five is ducking and dodging more indictments, I
(00:21):
recently went to Dutch Brothers and I, you know, I
have thoughts. I thought it was gonna be more positive
than what I what I.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
What I it just as well.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
First of all, this is by you, Yeah, girl, This
okay right around the corner.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Good.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Yeah, because you're coming over in a couple of weeks.
So yes, yes, good to know it's right down the street.
I just you know, it's not I don't know. I
don't really, I didn't. She just didn't give what I
was hoping that she would give. I. So I told
myself that I'm just gonna stick to coffee Bean. Now
that we're trying to get off the Starbucks, I'm just
(01:02):
gonna say it openly. We've already talked about it on
the show, that I have an addition to Starbucks, and
we all know that that's problematic because obviously they support
genocide and YadA, YadA, YadA. I'm sure will never end
up getting any type of endorsement by them anyway because
of how much shit we talked about them on this show.
So so all that to be said, I'm just gonna
go ahead and stick to my girl. Down to the
(01:24):
coffee bean. I just yeah, I can't get with Dutch bros.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
What did you vorder from them? I just have questions
for your questions.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
I don't even remember. It was like some pumpkin situation
because they have like special pumpkin drinks.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Right now, Okay, did you did you try the muffin tops?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
I told you to?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
You know what? Girl? Well, yes, no I couldn't because
I had I had eaten two cookies yesterday. It's had
to watch my sugar, so dude a buffet. But if
I go back around, I will be doing it one
of these days because that is about is fire. But
I'm excited to try their their chemo pumpkin breule. Uh.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
It just sounds it just looks so bad.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
You can have a girl. I love that. Journey for you,
Thank you, journey for you.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I'm doing good.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Y'all, it's still your very demere, very mind focal host
Soran or Joe Hoo, And I'll remind y'all that not
all skin fucker kim folks. And while some are praying
for your victories, some are also praying on your downfalls.
I remind them that no woman informed against you shall
prosper girl. Okay, it's not spread by anything specifically in
my life. It's just I just think about way too often.
(02:39):
I'm like, no skinfolk can book in these streets, and
they are. They are trying to bring you down, girl,
and you can't. You can't go down with them. You
can't get in with them. When they go low, you
go high.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Or they get petty, then you get pettier. But until then,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
I will say this, when they go low, God makes
them your footstool. So I will also say that a
lot of the folks that down to down. It was
funny because shout out to one of our listeners. I
forget their name, but they had said, you know, I've
been a political girl for the last couple of weeks,
and I was talking to I don't know, I did
you see that video of Trump going up the stairs. No,
(03:15):
there's a video of Trump going and Mama is struggling
to get up the stairs. Well, he said, was like, oh,
it looks like she's going to the upper room. And
one of our favorite listeners was like, oh, you mean
to the fiery pits of Hell, and I just was yes.
So anyway, all that to be said. For those who
hate on not only you but us, they can meet
(03:37):
Trump there. But all that to be said. This week,
we have a guest in our third seat, and I
will tell you this, so I'm gonna go off script
four quick second. Y'all know that I am not a
TikTok girl. I've never been a TikTok girl. I've never
been a clock app girl. I've always been a real girl.
And I know they're the same thing. A lot of
people keep saying they're the same thing, and a lot
of TikTok stuff ends up on reels, But either way
(04:00):
just seems to do it for me. I don't know why.
I just enjoy it. Well, anyway, one day I was
laying on my couch and not doing the work I
should have been doing, and I was holding and I
found our guest in the reels and I instantaneously followed
them everywhere YouTube, I followed them on Instagram. I've recently
just followed them on Twitter because I didn't know they
(04:21):
had a Twitter. But I am when I tell you,
And this is the thing. We have had some names
on this show and not to say anybody is not.
And I was like, I was very very okay with like,
oh yeah, you know this nickname person is on the show.
And for some reason, I am fangirling so much with
this guest. I just I am absolutely in love. I
am their biggest fan, huge major. Not only can you
(04:45):
find her online giving cisgender men hell, and I think
that's the thing I love about her is that I
love seeing her give these people the same energy her.
But you can also find her in films like Cocomo
City and shows like rap Shit Please give it up
for then, the the One and the Only babased off.
How are you?
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Love?
Speaker 5 (05:05):
Oh my gosh, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
I just here, dang house down.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I don't even think
I deserve the honor, but thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
You do you do you do? Thank you, thank you,
thank you.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
We're I think we're doing Okay, over here, this this
you know, I will say, California is California. There's a
lot of shit happening over here. I think people think
this is the Golden State, and there's a lot of
trash that is happening over here. So you know, we're
just we're just making it through, making our way downtown,
walking fast the past and we're home bound. Yes, But
(05:50):
with that being said, we're going to jump into our
first segment. You always know what we're gonna do around here.
We give Miss Tisha Campbo her flowers and are still
here segment, And we're going to start this all today
by asking just something silly because I feel like some
of the stuff we might be doing maybe a little
heavy today. So are we making it to some deeper topics?
You know, it is what it is, so we try
to balance it, you know, a little bit of levity.
(06:12):
With all that being said, though, we are I'm asking
the question, what meme or television clip do you randomly
catch yourself saying and bursting out into laughter? So the
adhd N ME has been saying and Joo, you may
have catched me say it on Sunday. I said it
when we were at the Mill High Place, and I
was like girl, and I was like, yeah, but I've
(06:37):
just been randomly burning out to myself. You want us
to pay for apples for great things God gave us
for free?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Oh my god, I love it.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Let's see the cost of something going up just recently, Like,
so fucking Peacock has gone up to twenty four ninety
nine a month. Hulu is twenty four a month. Fucking
what is it? My god? My cat's health plan went
from fifty dollars to sixty four dollars. Everything continues to
(07:11):
keep going up. And so literally every time I get
a notice of something going up. Squarespace just went up.
They went up from twenty dollars to twenty five dollars.
It's like everything keeps going up, and I just literally
keep screaming, you want us to pay for apples, for grapes,
things God gave us for free? You won't burn? And hell,
what about what's something you probably say that's just you know,
(07:33):
keeps you chuckling.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
Okay, I don't say it out loud, but I say
it in my head when people piss me off, and
I always say the bleach fond bad body, but body,
I've always said that in my head. Ain't time somebody
cuts me off a sudden, I'm like, that's that bleach spond.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
But body right there, that's that BBB energy right there,
scream what about you?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Johan?
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Okay, So I think several So when someone lies to
me like just lies, I'm almost just like why.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
You all wait? Lie? Stop lie?
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Also because I like I used to be I used
to be liar when I was younger, and I was
a good liar. Like you, when you lie, you you
can't say too much, you can't say to you say
just run my mouse stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
So when people lie, I'm like girl white Trut played
the King of Lion, like why are you in line?
Or when some or when? So when someone says period,
it was like period, I'm like.
Speaker 6 (08:37):
Come on, it's just so.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Silly.
Speaker 5 (08:50):
That's literally my favorite meme on the internet when they
add the explosion at the end.
Speaker 6 (08:55):
It just every time, every time, that is my my
humor down to the tea, like.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Yeah, I was like what or or had rent free?
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Often like like just like I was like just w
says something silly or like like like the I don't
disagree with that.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I don't get there a whole rant I just en.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Be like am.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Just like I.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
You know, Nikki is a lot of things, but to freedom,
but Queen Radio gave us so many things, and freedom
is something I think about all the way too way
too often.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Yeah, I absolutely yeah so and you know what that to.
I just recently shared that in my stories because every
time I see it, I share.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
One's so silly, like the one the one with the
woman who's praying and like she on her bed, explosion
behind her in the whole house destroys. It just takes
me out every time because because Megan is such a vibe,
like Megan is yeah come.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
On, yeah, yeah, she's literally just we're literally the people
who's always online, like what if someone there's a word
for them, the people who are constantly online. Literally my
whole lexicon is nothing but the Internet. Like I literally say,
a whole bunch of dumb ship And sometimes people like
(10:29):
even when I go out to dinner and I want
something to go, my favorite thing is like, do you
have a container from my branch? And then like or
have you ever seen that? Give a box?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Wait?
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Can I get yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Line John?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
That is deep to me.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Any person who's in the service fucking knows. This song.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Makes me cackle all the time of Stuffily, when the
friend that showed me that, when everybody go out together
her she's like, if you ask for a fucking box.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Bucks for her line, it's literally me, I am literally
the Internet, the house down boots. But all that you said, uh,
while we take a quick break, we were we are
going up, let me reset that. Sorry all right, y'all.
Well that honestly that is put that put me right
in like the greatest mood ever. But we have to
(11:25):
take a quick break. But when we come back, we
will have more worth our guests and get into our
category is Seggy more in a bit? All right? So
this week we are talking about identity politics. This is
where we get into the stuff you you all know
our category is where we kind of get into the meat, honey.
And specifically about something that was mentioned a few weeks
(11:48):
ago that we talked to me and Joe Hoo talked
about on one of our sol episodes. We were talking
about this idea and it was something that I told
I told all of y'all that we were going to
revisit and so here we are this we we wanted
to kind of talk about this idea of the intersections
of blackness infeminity and why it seems that so many
black people, most black people, I'm not gonna even let's
(12:10):
let's not even play in anybody's face. Most black people
are so afraid of embracing femininity as a whole. And
so first I wanted to ask bebe And that was
partly why, like seeing it was like the perfect kind
of what do they call that? It was like almost
not can't what do they call that? The mystic zone?
It was like the mystic zone. Right, we were talking
(12:31):
about this, and then I find you online and I'm like,
you're the perfect person to bring into this conversation. And
that's why we invited you on. I know that on
your social media, as you often do, what I like
to believe is very funny videos where you challenge masculinity
in a very non traditional way. So before we kind
of get into the actual crux of talking about like
the intersections of the fear that lives in femininity around blackness,
(12:56):
I wanted to ask you before we get into the meat,
what made you want to start doing these videos in
the first place.
Speaker 5 (13:04):
Oh, my gosh, I actually didn't want to. I mean,
at first, I started doing content and I had a
list of ideas that I wanted to do, and I
had saw other trans women doing that, and I thought
that the whole voice showing thing was kind of cringey,
so I kind of was like avoiding it. And then
I just I was bored or I didn't have ideas
(13:27):
that day, and I went through my list and that
was the only thing that I was like, Okay, I
kind of feel like doing this today.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
So I did it.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
I gave it a try, and it just blew up
from there and ever since, it's just been I was like, Okay,
this is what they want from me, this is my calling.
And then I started noticing like all of the different
ways that I can take it, like educating people and
spreading awareness, and it's just been growing since.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah, and that's what I will say before you go, Joho,
I will say, the reason why I specifically love you
and I love following you is that you don't do
it to feed into the narrative. You I really like.
I love especially like the young kids, like there are
kids that we know are not supposed to be on
I forget, I forget the name of the app. You use,
but you tell them they're too young to be on
(14:13):
and you'll tell them to get off. And then they
find out that you're trans, and then they start asking
you questions. And you do it in a very what
I believe is a very educational and very very uplifting way.
Right You're not you're not telling them too much, but
at the same time you're educating them like this is
the process of what it means to be trans. This
is what it is. And so I think you just
do it in such a you're such a beautiful light.
(14:35):
It's just such a such a great, great, great way
of you. How you Yeah, well, you.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Know, and and I'm curious to ask because I know,
like I I know.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
That's that there are different ways in which people respond
to you.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
There are people who people who who who find it funny,
the people who like to take the time to actually
be educated.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
And learn from you.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
And they're people who like scream screaming and run away
and interesting because first of all, just just go back.
What what's the app you use? Is it okay?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
On TV?
Speaker 5 (15:11):
I used to use but they shut down.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Okay, I was because there's there's a need there Again,
is a niche time of millennial life where like where
like Omego was was a spot.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, I would.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Often do a similar thing with with people, so I
thought about time but not or they did hit there.
But but like I mean, especially with like like, especially
with with black folks that as well, like I want
to I want to lean more, wanting leaning more into that.
Ask well, you think that says about where we are
(15:45):
with the ideas, you know, the notions of femininity and
masculine in the black community, because that's what that's you
We're seeing these we're seeing these namage play out in
these videos as well too.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
So what are your thoughts on where we might be
at in that space?
Speaker 5 (15:59):
Mm hmm, Well, I I think where we are with
femininity a lot of a lot of Black women, especially
feel that when they have a son, it's their son's
job to protect them, to look after them. And when
(16:22):
their son comes out and and presents in a feminine way,
it's it's it's a feeling that they've lost a protector,
that they've lost basically, they lost someone who's supposed to
be who who's doing the job of what the father
(16:43):
is supposed to be doing, of what the parents supposed
to be doing and they're they're putting it on the child.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Mm hmm, yeah, that yes, it's it's a lot. So
I'll say this that that oftentimes it feeds into kind
of that whole notion of like you're the man of
the house. No, that's a child. But I think this
idea too, of us not having these kind of conversations,
(17:11):
us not leaning into kind of this opening of we
have to think about both masculine and femininity being fluid.
And I think that's what's something I again, in your content,
I have learned that I've loved and I'll even see
the moments like there are videos that I've watched. I've
watched every video you've done, but they are I just
a browse, honey and watch. But I see the moments
(17:34):
where you have again you've educated folks. But also too,
I see the moments too where you have come back
around and affirmed little queer babies too. Who are you know?
Behind you and you're really pretty and it's like, yeah, man,
you like we see each other. And so I think
that that's really cool. One of the things that I
had made mentioned that I wanted to ask you this
(17:55):
week is you know, I think in this conversation so much.
There's so much about it that I love because I
think that what we're really doing, all of us, like you,
what what we're doing with this show is groundbreaking, especially
when thinking about kind of this notion of how black
trans women are treated not just online but also on
(18:16):
costplay spaces. And that was one of the things I
really did want to get in kind of into this
conversation with. Right So, you're navigating kind of this education
no space of like having to teach the babies that
you really didn't ask for, but you're funding a following
of people who love what you're doing and what you're creating,
and so now you're going into these new spaces right
where now you're like, you're costplaying too. I wanted to ask,
(18:39):
how has your time online shaped your own thoughts on
your blackness and your femininity?
Speaker 5 (18:45):
Oh wow, hmm, that's a good question. Being online has
taught me first and foremost that a lot of of
the hatred and hostility towards them Black femininity and trans
(19:10):
or queer existence comes from from ignorance. It comes from
a place of not being educated, you know, like, for example,
I have a pretty big breast, for a trans woman,
and a lot of people cannot fathom the idea that
I've never had surgery, right. You know, a lot of
people are quick to be like, oh no, those are
(19:32):
those are silicone, those are those are faith. You know,
there's just so much misinformation and ignorance out there, and
that's where a lot of that stems stems from. Now,
I'm probably gonna get canceled for saying this is what
I'm going to say it. I think I do so
well with people like that because I used to be that.
(19:55):
There was a time of my life where I was transphobic.
There was the time of my life where I was homophobic,
one because of how it was raised, but two because
I didn't know anything about a trans person. I remember
in high squad I transclassmate, and I just I did
not know what to do with them. I didn't know
where to place them. I didn't want to be around them.
(20:16):
I was scared. I was literally scared just to be
in the same vicinity of them. But eventually it all
just blowed down to the fact that I just didn't
know what trans was. I didn't understand them, and I
think a lot of that hostility comes from that.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
You know, I I really can't see being canceled in
saying that because asked like you're you're you're in the
millennial range gen Z range, Like what's the the range
you're in? I'm actually like your age age, but it's like.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
The age I was born in ninety one.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Okay, okay, So so like I think I'm funny who
has grace for like like for for people who are
like a suber than nine these because beforehand, because I
think it's interesting, I think to your point, right, like
trans Phabi now is like is so different manifesto differently,
but also the access to it is just so different too, right,
So like like I mean, like a fortunal today, I'd
(21:16):
be like.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Like, girl, come on, like like is not cute, Like
it's not.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Cute, like you know and like and and sure like
we've always known better.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
But back like back then when the dot.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Com ra was first going on, social socials first going
on like there wasn't social access, there wasn't any any
positive media resentation like about transit dandy's or queer dandy.
So I so just as well I affirm like I
don't think you I'll think you cans were saying that
because I imagine like many of us who are wher now
like participate in like like like info with troubles when
(21:50):
we're younger, Like I can't, I can't mention someone who's
someone who did not like whether I accent or on purpose,
like because we just we just we just didn't know things.
And so I I real really hold you and hearing
you on that. I also so I have I have
two questions. One like I I want to get a
little more into the cost into the costplay things. I
think that is like they're just they just thinking very
(22:12):
like niche because costplay already is like is like is
subculture right, Like it's already subculture in general. There is
a huge there's a like there's always been a community,
uh like of the subculture with the black community of.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Comics and m a costplay.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
And I say, these things are they're different, but they
like that, you know they are. They're all realated to
each other in some way. And I'm curious about like
what that what experience like for you? Because costling is
already something that I feel like has has already has
always been like one a bit taboo in the black
community because it's like the idea of we're having like
we we want to be somebody else, we want we
want to be like a fantasy character. I think like
(22:48):
I think oftentimes like gender bending is like is very
is do you think generating in costplay is typically like
like like really like I think people really enjoy your
gennervating and in cost play anyways, but I think they're
black life it makes it more challenging. But then then
talking about like like like like like being black and
transitioning most being cosplay, like it's just it's just it's
just a very like a very like specific experience. So
(23:10):
I'm curious you can share more about what that's been,
what it's been like for you for you in like
in the costway community, in your black experience, and maybe
even like what like what what helps you feel really
affirmed and amazing in your.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Costs playing?
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (23:27):
Hm, well, for me, my experience has been mostly good,
but there there are times where where I get a
little backlash, especially being trans and in that in that
in that community I've had I've had people try and
tell me that black people don't do costway And it's
(23:48):
like where where in the world you get that that
idea from you know, it's just a bunch of craziness,
But for me, it's it's empowering. It's empowering. I mean
being trans is empowering enough. But it gives me, It
gives me a lot of courage because because you get
(24:12):
you don't have to, like, you don't have to put
yourself under such a lens because you're portraying a character,
you know what I'm saying, and that character can have
whatever flaws that you want, it can have whatever strength
that you want. And I don't have to put myself
in so much of a lens as when I look
in the mirror. So it gives me a lot of
(24:33):
empowerment to just be free and just let loose. You know,
cost is just playing dress up. It's it's it's it's
a liberating thing.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Is cosplay is amazing and so cool. I like I
I I haven't. I used to costolgy much younger. I haven't.
I haven't as adult.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
It's more so because like like like asked us as
a fat person to clothing and cosplay is not easy
unless you make it yourself. And I'm and as I
as I said before, I'm ask instress and they'll never
have me on drag R never so my like the
(25:12):
the second question, like the real question I had for
you before that, because they just get the question of
costways came up for me. But I really used to
ask you, what you're doing is really severing a trope
that we've seen for so long on TV shows and films,
right that usually made usually make trans folks.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
About the joke.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
But in the videos that you do, like like you're
not just in on the joke, like you're actually the
keeper of the joke, which takes the power of others
in doing it to you. But I also imagine that
some folks that some like other transphots like like may
have tension like with it too because it because imagine
like it brings up trauma or her experiences. I'm curious,
(25:50):
I'm really curious asking how do you how do you
navigate that as well?
Speaker 5 (25:55):
Surprisingly, I've only had one trans person come and and
and give that angle of things. And it wasn't really
so much of the making it a joke. It was
the fact that some people were getting upset that I
would I would do the joke everything, they'd be cool,
(26:15):
and then I'd skip them and they'd be like, why
don't you skip them? This is a guy who's who's
clearly interested in you and wanted me to do whatever.
And I'm like, well, first of all, I have a boyfriend,
so I'm just here to make everyone laugh and have
a great day. But surprisingly I haven't had a lot
(26:35):
of a backlash, which is part of why I was
a little hesitant to start it. But it's been good
and I forgot what I forgot where I was going.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
With that happened?
Speaker 6 (26:48):
Uh what were we wait?
Speaker 5 (26:50):
Why did you ask me again?
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Just like, yeah, I was just saying, like, you know,
what you're doing is really subverting a trope. Did we
see something slung on TV shows and such and which?
But you're also you're also subvertience to taking the power
out of it as well too. But also you know,
we know that there are folks who may who may
have tension with that, like seeing the way in which
you do it, So how's the navigation of it?
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Right?
Speaker 3 (27:17):
Right?
Speaker 5 (27:17):
So I think you said it best, like it takes
a lot of power away from the haters, and that's
like the best part, you know, It's it's not so
much of making a joke out of my existence or
or the whole uh idea of everything. But it takes
(27:38):
a lot of power away from them because it shows
them that one, I'm not I'm not bothered, you know. Two,
I'm confident enough and I know who and what I am.
And I think the most annoying part for them when
they're dealing with me is that there there's nothing you
(28:00):
can tell me about myself. Like, I've reached a point
of my life where I am fully confident, fully enveloped
in me, and when people try and tell me that
I'm this or that is so it's so comical to me.
It's like, tell me that I'm a tyrannosaurce rex and
I'll always be a tyrannosaurce Rex's that's just the most
(28:22):
ridiculous thing to me. When people are like, you're a man,
you'll always be a man, It's like, okay, well, saying
that it's not gonna make it true, but go off, girl,
feel better?
Speaker 6 (28:35):
Yeah? Do you feel better?
Speaker 5 (28:36):
You got that off your chest?
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Oh my gosh, that's.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Real, that's real. I love it because I always always
make the joke. I really wish people would say stuff
to me like that. I never heard like being called
the original.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
I love the original.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
Yes, I love laughing girl, but like make it good.
Don't this shit hurt every day? As the worst sason
you do?
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Come down?
Speaker 4 (29:02):
Right?
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Yeah, I'm like, I've been black and queer. My whole
life is very little things you can say to me
that's gonna make me upset. I love and I love
this conmos so much because I think, you know, if
there's anything that folks can take away from watching you,
or watching your or interacting with your platform, and that's
again why I wanted to invite you on was I
(29:24):
think it is imperative that we continue to remind people
how important it is to kind of like take back
that power. Right. So it's like, yes, the world's gonna
judge you, and the world's gonna always have something to
say about who you are and how you show up, right,
But when you like, like Jojo said, subverted and you
ultimately say, now, that's why this show is called black
Fat Film. It's like, because you get people, well, why
(29:46):
would you put fat in the title? And it's like,
because I am, And it's.
Speaker 5 (29:52):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
So I think.
Speaker 5 (29:57):
A lot of people, a lot of people come at
me and they're like they tell me this or that,
and you only people only have power if you give
them power. You know what I mean, People only have
power if you give them power. You can't you can't
be reactive to everything. A lot of people are like,
why don't you correct people on when they miss gender
(30:20):
or or do anything. Well, because it's not true. Someone
miss gendering me won't make it true, Like I'm still
a woman. It's fine, it's okay, Like let's take a breath,
It's cool, okay, But you can't give you can't give
power to people like you have to maintain your power
and you have to take that back from them, hold
(30:40):
on to it.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
I love it, and I think you mentioning power is
a great way to kind of set up this next
question that I have. I said, you know, one of
the things that I wanted to make mentioned before we
go on to talk talking a little bit more into
the show, and I think it's important for everyone to
hear right now because we do recognize. I mean, obviously,
I know that you're in Florida, and like I told
you before we got on, I live here in California,
(31:02):
and we can see across the US like they're doing
anything and everything that they can to take trans rights
away from.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
People in general.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
And so with that being said, right, this idea of
how you use social media as a way to reclaim
your voice as a black trans woman, and how you've
also let the world in on what black trans women
do with right, like we see very clearly, like especially
and it's funny because I think your editing skills are
absolutely fantastic. Are you the one who edit your videos?
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Oh god, every like there there's this one in particular
video where you you intercut C three po running away
because the guys screams, and baby, when I tell you that,
I almost got in trouble because I yelped so loud
when I saw that intercut. And the thing I also
(31:50):
do a lot, brother, I do that so much because
of your videos or are forever with you. But anyway, skills,
one of the things that I wanted to ask was
what advice would you give to other black trans folks
(32:12):
who are listening to us and they're traversing the net
and looking for community. They're trying to find a platform,
they're trying to build a platform, just trying to create
a space to be their authentic selves.
Speaker 5 (32:25):
M Wow, I don't think I could do it without
good friends and therapy. I think that's my advice. I
think a lot of us, that's black folk period, like
to skip over mental health and act like it's not
(32:47):
a real thing, or it's something that we just have
to deal with on our own and it'll go away
over time. We really have to hone in on that
and focus on that, like you do not have to
do this alone. Have a good good friends, support group,
go to therapy. All those things are important and we
have to take we have to take mental health serious.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Oh if you if you go to the.
Speaker 5 (33:10):
Doctor for your peepee or your kouchie burning, you.
Speaker 6 (33:14):
Need to go when you have a thought, it's the
same thing, right, it ain't right, go to the doctor.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
The words to live by when someone's not right, go
the doctor.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
But the doctor well, well, listeners, well y'all get yourself
checked out and you go.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Subscribe to YouTube channel.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
We gotta pay some bills to our doctors, lights on
and make sure our subjects. Baby we back and just
to said, hey, fam, we are back. And this week
I think it's the perfect time to bring back go
Love Yourself into the mix for next Seggie.
Speaker 4 (33:57):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
This week, I'd pick it backing off the backs of
our last I want to talk to you a little
bit about transitions no intended and this is about this,
this this idea of finding love. I was like, let's
make sure, like I said, you know, right, finding love
for the person you thought you want to be the
person that you are becoming. Again, this wants to be
(34:21):
about the space between who you thought you'd be who
you're becoming. So I'm curious to ask how the both
of you come to terms with the ever changing flow
of evolving into someone different. I know, for me, I
was actually moved by Michelle Obama's book Becoming.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Where's that big book? Girl? She looks big, she she
looks big.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
She just think that she's just think about the cover.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
She a big bag, bitch big, but really, like you know,
it was kind of a moment reading that book because
it made me recognize and as Michelle wrote this right
like where she writes, we're in a constant She's in
a constant state of collaboration. Now, I was like, Oh,
we're actually all calibrating all the time, like we're always
(35:12):
improssed about something. And to have that language is so
transformative because it dives into the idea what it means
to constantly become, right, Like becoming is actually a full
process that you engage in that you never actually stop,
like you're always becoming actualization, And I someone who believes
is like actualization or like you know, Nirvana, I don't
think is actually real.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Like you know, like a lot of Eastern teachings teacher
that you like, like you work towards enlightenment, but say
of enlightenment is actually is not always very possible, because
the whole point is that you're actually striving towards it
and it may not happen.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
I think also loved, loved, loved the book because it
brings breakings in the idea of possibility, right, like like
like when you say I'm becoming, you're also saying that
I'm possible everything that everything is possible, everything around me
as possible, Right You're like, I'm.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Possible, It's possible, I'm possible.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Like you know, there's a new song that Whenney and
Brainer are singing, it's not impossible, it's impossible. I really
feel like that that that book Relee like dives into
it so that and so I think I'll come to
terms with it because I recognize that it's all part
of the process.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
How I evolve and change and flow.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Is that's the thing that's also flow, right, Like some
people want to rigid and stuck and stagnant and and
and not move, and like life around you is constantly moving,
So how day rivers is to move with it. And
so that to me is is a good reminder of
all these things are about about the process. My whole
being is about the process. So that's how I've can
come to terms with it. But babe, how about you?
Speaker 5 (36:46):
Oh well, transitioning and change in general, it's important to
know that it's not a goal line. It's an evolution.
It's a constant, continual strut. It's a constant, continual run.
And there there's there's not an end goal that you
(37:10):
have to meet. I think a lot of people do
themselves a disservice when they try and make an end goal.
One that's limiting yourself, but two a lot of times
we don't reach that. And if we do, great, But
I don't think we should strive for that. I think
we should just always strive to better, always strive to
(37:31):
better ourselves and.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Let it be that.
Speaker 5 (37:35):
And there's like there's like a growing thing with with
a lot of young trans women who or or trans people,
sorry not trans women, trans people who transition and then
they find out they regret it. And it's because there's
this false idea that when you transition, there's going to
be an end goal. You're going to be a woman,
(37:57):
everything's gonna be happy, everything's going to be better. But
that's not the reality of being trans or transitioning. You're
always going through this every single day, and there there
really is no end to it, you know, but you
transition to help your to help lessen some of those
those stressors that you have.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
To deal with.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
I love that you mentioned that because there's this whole
notion and and and and I want to make sure
that I'm checking my privilege, and I'm saying, like I
totally being someone who is non binary and being someone
who has, you know, jobs, not just one job, but jobs.
I'm grateful for opportunities and the things that come my way.
(38:40):
But I think that it's also in the same vein,
you know, it's kind of like that idea of like, well,
once I have a whole bunch of money on, my
problems will go away. And it's like, well, some of
your problems may go away, right right, right, You still
have to pay taxes, You still have to make sure
that nobody's stealing from you. You still got to make sure.
So there, it's like, we don't have nuanced conversations around
(39:01):
what transition and change is. And I think you bring
up a really good point because I think that's also
partly when you hear people talking about well, transit, you know, folks,
regret it, folks. It's important for that mental health piece
to be there too. And that's why I'm also saying
that it is so important for trans and non binary
people and every person alike to have the therapy that
(39:22):
they need because there's so much that we have to
unpack when we're becoming the person that we truly think
we want to become, and then also the journey along
that too. So I love that you made mentioned to
all of those things. You know, I think about this question, joho,
because I know I don't know when, so I want
to say this to our listeners. I don't know when
(39:43):
the episode is going to come out, but I do
know that we just recently recorded with Angela Carross on
her show Now, which you can find on Apple podcast
and we were I think we were hinting at this.
We were talking about this a little bit, this idea
that you are becoming the person you thought you wanted
to become, or what it means to become the person
(40:05):
you thought you wanted to become, and when you get
there kind of looking around and being like, ooh this this,
this place is messy. I don't really want to be
here no more.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Listen, what's that?
Speaker 3 (40:19):
What's that real? That's like the the ones like collecting
your things. And she was like, you ain't guys to
say nothing else to me.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
Yeah, She's like, that'll do it. Yes, that'll do it.
It's literally you gotta worry about me. You worry about me.
That is literally me down to it because one of
the things I'm gonna do is get up and leave.
But what I will say is that I think to
your point, Bay, I think Bebey. I think everyone truly
(40:50):
believes that you know, change or oh, if I when
I make it, when I get that really big job,
get that really big opportunity, everything is gonna be great.
And it's like, nah, girl, you know something. Fran from
the friend Zone always says, new levels, New devils, and
so I think it is so important for us.
Speaker 5 (41:07):
A lot of times you get down that road and
you find more problems, you lose some problems, and you
pick up more problems.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
So very much that and so you know, transition, you know,
is a bit because you have to deal with so
many truths that I think you may not have the
capacity to deal with. And you also have to deal
with people, you know, coming to terms with the idea
that you're no longer the person that they thought you were.
And I think that's where I'm at, you know, when
(41:35):
people ask me about this new found and it's not
even new found. I tell people every day what me
and Joe, who I've been working on, has been for
the last three years, and also what we have last
and then what I've been working on in general has
been for the last eight years. But just kind of
have to know, you know, it comes to the terms
that you're never gonna everything is ever evolving. And I
(41:57):
think also the big part to being okay was saying,
because I'm changing, I'm okay to lose you, and I'm
okay to lose everything else that people thought of me
in order for me to be able to get to
where I need to go. So I don't know who
needs that word, but I feel like this week we're
all And I'll even say this too, I think coming
out of the pandemic. I think that's another thing too,
of like, there's so many changes that have happened since
(42:21):
twenty twenty, and I think a lot of people are
struggling with the world and how it's changed. And you know,
it's just it's it's ever flowing and it's ever changing.
You know, this shit is deep. So with that being said,
now that we found ourselves in our counselor bag again
and Anyama von Zhet has sent us a bill, we
need to shift giz and give y'all the segie. We
know that are often wanting and waiting for yes ma'am
(42:44):
and no man pam when we come back. All right,
So for those of you who are new here, welcome,
come on in here, sit down. You know, for streats.
We're jumping into our yes ma'am and our no man pam. Second,
and this is when we basically talk about the things
in the world that we either love and we want
(43:05):
to celebrate or the or we find a tomato and
we want to throw. Have you seen that video. Speaking
of which, talking about tomatoes, have you seen that video?
Whether the tomato is singing and they're like, you're a vegetable,
but he's no, He's like, I'm a fruit fruit and
they're all singing to him that he's a vegetable, and
(43:25):
basically he just starts. Anyway, all that he said talking
about being on oh gosh, there's a word for it
for people who are chronically on the internet, I think.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
Is what someone refers to online or something.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
Chronically online for people who are chronically online. That just
made me giggle when I thought about vegetables. But anyway,
all that to be said. This week, my yes, ma'am,
I wanted to shout out global black pride. I guess
it was something that got started in twenty twenty two.
It is now a global thing. Uh, basically black pride
is being celebrated everywhere. I know that you celebrate black
Pride in San Diego, but for now it seems it's
(44:00):
just it's a thing. I guess they're doing globally and
it's happening all over the world, and I don't specifically
know if there's a pinpoint or a location where it's
like like the mecca, if that's the right word. I
don't know where it is. I was trying to read
as much as I could and I couldn't find.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
Global Black Pride. I think it's at Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Okay, Well, anyway, all that to be said, I know
Billy Porter is a minor. That's a choice. But Nigerian
singer yimmi a lade and if I tear this up, yon,
blame it on my head heart and then oh maa,
what you may is going to be there as well.
So again, Global Black Pride shout out to them. I'm
(44:42):
really excited that we're seeing more black visibility in queer spaces. However,
and this is me getting ready to be a little message.
I know, we got some floats from Atlanta. Her I
really don't. I just I want to say, and i'
been I'm trying to be be nice. I'm trying to
(45:03):
I'm I'm I'm a fine Okay. When there's joy, we
still have to sometimes talk about the miss and I'm
gonna go ahead and go there. I'm I'm struggling a
little to say, like, I kay for Global Black Pride,
but I also see that there have been there has
been some stuff going on with my sister Hope Giselle
(45:25):
in regards to her supposedly being there, and there's some
back and forth and I, I don't I'll be transparentnything.
I don't know the full scope of what is going on,
but my no man, Pam is going to be and
kind of to your point at the beginning. So when
you said it, I was like, that's the reason why
we're best friends. When you said all skin folks and
kin folk. There there's this frustration that I have that
(45:46):
when we work in black spaces, there's this automatic understanding that, oh,
we don't really have a budget, so you're you're supposed
to be okay with scraps and I don't. I I
don't love that. I don't love that. And so, like
I said, I want to be clear that I don't
know the whole situation. I don't know everything. I've only
heard what Hope has put out. But it is frustrating
(46:08):
to me, as someone who is in a lot of
black spaces and often pushing for black queer spaces to
have more resources and to do more things, to hear
that Hope Gizelle is having the experience that they are
having so without me speaking for Hope because I don't
I don't want to put words in her mouth. What
I will say is I just think we as a
black community need to do better by our own people.
(46:30):
That's that's what my nomad is. Seeing what I see
and knowing what I know, and knowing where we are
currently in this world and the idea that often we're
we're not supporting each other the way that we should.
So that's my nomampam this week.
Speaker 3 (46:46):
So my son I was talking about no Man Pam
because it also is to Black Pride. Well it's Blackla
not too Black Pride, Black Pride, blackpal Lady goah blaha related.
Because so so when i'm I'll just say right, like
I imagine what the Globlat Pride organizers did is different
than the people that who are coming to enjoy Globlat Pride,
(47:08):
the vendors who are there.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
And so when the vendors had.
Speaker 3 (47:10):
Got vandalized on this past week, like like an act
and act I believe of you know, of homophobio, transphobia, corfobia,
all the above. So nomam him to that because it's
it's just it's just like it's just really sad that
people continue to think that, like like like like we
black folks and black court trans folks have had to
(47:32):
survive so much, so you like you you really think
this will scare us, Like you really think this will
be the man scares us? Like again, be original, just
like just be like like the you know or like
or but just stop, like just stop, We're going to
be here anyways. I don't understand what your issue is
with folks, like like how you just how like how
(47:54):
how are you gonna be Atlanta and be like let
me like, let let let me come for black films,
we come from Acorn and trans folks like does so
does so deeply black, like just it's just don't make
a type of sense. I just wish people would stop
because it just again at the fool, girl at.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
The fool, going at the fool.
Speaker 3 (48:12):
My yes, man, Pam is ta Doci because I just
I just fucking love Doci and and tomorrow, by time
it comes out, it'll be passed. But tomorrow on there's
thirtieth I think her first album, like like like full
album comes out, I think she's done.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
Or you know, or a new album comes out and
I'm just so pumped, like she.
Speaker 3 (48:35):
Was dropping singles like every other weekend feels like and
there's just so fat in her range, the range like
she like she can go from like slow rap to
like to like R and B to like just like
strap hip hop, to the to them like to then
like fast like raper fire rap.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
Like I just love all of her music. I'm gonna
say she's she's gonna be in LA this week. She'sn't anyway,
but she's gonna be performing.
Speaker 3 (48:58):
Actually, actually, John, you might want to go. It's it's
it's a it's a black flea market on Saturday. It's
like it's like fifteen bucks to go somewhere. I think
you're and she and then she's performing at six like
a like half hour set.
Speaker 2 (49:11):
Girl, I am.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
Red deep, but just like just like like she just
like just like her as I feel like she's somebody,
she's she's a rapper and artist right now who I
feel like like does that does not straightway does not
straight away from blackness at all. The fashion is always
right like right right like like she like she she
really does all black hair styles.
Speaker 2 (49:29):
Like the dancing is right, the the the ver the
versus are right.
Speaker 3 (49:33):
Like everything about her is just so fucking good and
I feel like this is somebody who has like come
out the gates hot and.
Speaker 2 (49:39):
Is not like the momentum is not sing down for her,
like she is going off and popping off. And I live,
so just yes, don't hear this. I fucking love you.
I mean, I mean you you are a black quir girling.
So I might be like, let's get on the show
two girl, because you just give me life everywhere you go.
So yeah, I live.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
I live and shout out to any black queer person
who is getting their shine right now in any form,
because entertainment is trash and so veryful to see people
actually getting there, you know, getting the stuff that they
deserve because we again, I know Doci has been around
for a minute, and I know that a lot of
her songs are used on TikTok, and it's like outside
(50:22):
of that, it's like you don't really ever see her anywhere,
and so it's really cool to be able to see
like people really starting to come around kind of the
same way we're seeing people come around too for Megan,
Like I remember, I know Megan has been you know,
Meg has been popular, right, but now it's like, oh,
she's hosting award shows and she's doing this, she's okay,
good like I see that she's getting her momentum. So
(50:43):
I'm really happy just to see black women, black women
everything specifically, and it always comes back to common Yes,
black women.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
My presence.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
All right. Well, with that being said, send us your thoughts,
your feedback in your email to Black Fat Femme Pod
gmail dot com. You can also send us your thoughts
for your social media by interacting with our posts on
the Instagrams and down to the twitters you know, I'm
never gonna call it x and down to the YouTube's
all the places that you like to follow us and
get more information. And speaking of following, right, once you
(51:15):
follow us on the youtubes, you also go to Instagram
click on our link because we have a live show
on October twelfth down at San Diego, Honey, you could
come on down and see us in real time. Tickets
are available for fifteen doll has fifteen doll heads less
than you spin down to the Starbucks girl, but it's
(51:37):
gonna be twenty at the door, So if you if
you don't come, if you come to the door and
you need a ticket, it's twenty.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
How you get a performance of drag you get, you
get us in a live show. You can get drinks
and snacks at the bar. It's it's it's a fuller production.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
Baby booth, so the whole production, honey, if you if
you out your calm got let me let me talk
about that the same city I got you, I.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
Got your live shot special guests please, yes.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
Yes, you will be invited. And with that being said,
we're also letting folks know too that if you pre
ordered my book Black Fat fam Uh, that you can
also hit us and let us know that you pre
ordered it and you can get a special code to
get a discount for your ticket. So just shoot us
a little you know. Oh hey, look I bought it
on Amazon. I got it down to the Bombs and Nobles,
(52:28):
and we'll shoot you a code so that way you
can get a discount on your tickets. All right, Queen Joho,
where can the dolls find you?
Speaker 2 (52:35):
You can find me.
Speaker 3 (52:36):
I should do every week at Joejo Daniels across all
the socials from my website Jordandaniels dot com. If book
me and have me to do some speaking gigs and
if not there you will you will thank you. It's
now that you will find me strutting the streets talk
about our live show.
Speaker 2 (52:51):
Say hey, we're doing, We're doing on twelve.
Speaker 3 (52:54):
It's also my birthday. Come come and see it, Come
and join it, Come and join us, Come and come
and come enjoy us.
Speaker 2 (53:00):
Do all the things.
Speaker 3 (53:01):
And if you see on the street, please talk to
me so I can get you back to our live show.
Buy a ticket, y'all. Like I, I will compost. If
I have to dance on cars, I'll wash your car
for you somewhere. I'll flash, which reminds me I was
gonna tell I will tell you earlier, back in my
own legal days. Also so KEVI will say this all
on the air and my old MgO days, me and
(53:22):
my friend I would it's so bad. I will need
you to bleep this, just to just bleep this, please, woman.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
Just one long bleep. But basically I would, I would.
I would put the camera undneath my.
Speaker 4 (53:53):
God.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
I would start to get none no better. But we
was out here full the I love.
Speaker 1 (53:58):
I love to see you know what it reminds me
of do you remember that story of that beast of
that football player who got.
Speaker 2 (54:12):
M oh.
Speaker 1 (54:34):
Yeah, But that's what it reminds me of the time as.
Speaker 2 (54:38):
Well, so no one actually be the persons. No one
knows what John's referring to.
Speaker 1 (54:42):
And then alludes to what I said, I live, I
love it, I love it, and you just I just
love when the dolls get gooped, when you that long
cought walk.
Speaker 2 (55:01):
It always.
Speaker 1 (55:03):
Yeah, it's always the pause. Close that mouth, close that mouth.
I love it, I love it, I love it so much.
Oh my God. With that being said, you can visit it.
As for me and my household, you can visit me
down to ww dot doctor John Paul dot com. You
can also go anywhere and everywhere that you you need
(55:25):
to find your books. You can pre order my book,
uh black Fatfam, Revealing the Power of Visibility and Queer
Voices in Media and Learning to Love Yourself. I know
it's a long ass title, but anyway, Blackfatfam finding all
your favorite places. Other than that, you can find me online.
Going off, Okay, so I know, Joho, you don't watch
(55:47):
Big Brother? Do you watch Big Brother? You don't? Fuck?
We need to find somebody who can who who can
really jive with me on this, and I just want
to do a whole episode about Big Brother. By the
time you hear this voting will have happened. Tucker is
on the block, but so is Angela and Kelsey, and
I need the house to get it together and get
(56:10):
to I have never hated a Big Brother player as
much as I hate this man. If y'all don't get
Tucker out this week and next week, I hope I
can come back because if I come back next week,
I'm just gonna If he's gone at the end of
this episode tonight, next week will be I will nothing
nothing bad can happen to me next week. If he leaves,
I will, I will be the happiest I've ever been.
(56:32):
But if this man stays in the house to create
more chaos, I need them to get that man up
out of here. So I just wanted to share that
that's where I will be this week. Is praying to all,
to every God, to every universe, to Aliens, praying to Beyonce, anybody.
I just need them to get this man up out
(56:52):
of here. Make the right decision, y'all, that man too.
Do you know what, though, I think time and the
universe is gonna do what needs to be done already,
so I'm gonna go ahead just wait on that. But
it's coming. It's coming, It's coming, It's coming, and won't
it be? Can you feel the brand new day. I'm
literally going to be out in the streets with a
(57:16):
party whistle, you know that whistle for the New Year's
I'm gonna just be blowing it, blowing it, screaming to
the high heavens. All right, y'all, Well, before we get canceled,
I want to say thank you to everybody over who
helps make the show go. We want to thank our
producer by Wang for handling all of the logistics, and
everyone down to iHeart Media who continues to keep the
(57:37):
show up and running and letting us be a fool
on the microphone, honey. We also want to shout out
our wonderful editor. I'll just go ahead and say our
our step in editor. We want to give our credits
to XD for stepping in and helping the show flow
go while Chris is away on vacation. We love both
of y'all, and we thank you both for what you
(57:57):
do for the show. This is it, Stay black, fat, feminine, fabulous,
and remember it ain't tricking if you got it, all right?
I love us for real. Bang
The Black Fat Fem Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio
and Doctor John Paul LLC. Hey everyone, welcome to another
episode of the Blackfeft Fim Podcast, where all the intersections
of a nity are celebrated. I am one of your hosts,
John also known as John Paul, and while our unfavorite
person forty five is ducking and dodging more indictments, I
(00:21):
recently went to Dutch Brothers and I, you know, I
have thoughts. I thought it was gonna be more positive
than what I what I.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
What I it just as well.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
First of all, this is by you, Yeah, girl, This
okay right around the corner.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Good.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Yeah, because you're coming over in a couple of weeks.
So yes, yes, good to know it's right down the street.
I just you know, it's not I don't know. I
don't really, I didn't. She just didn't give what I
was hoping that she would give. I. So I told
myself that I'm just gonna stick to coffee Bean. Now
that we're trying to get off the Starbucks, I'm just
(01:02):
gonna say it openly. We've already talked about it on
the show, that I have an addition to Starbucks, and
we all know that that's problematic because obviously they support
genocide and YadA, YadA, YadA. I'm sure will never end
up getting any type of endorsement by them anyway because
of how much shit we talked about them on this show.
So so all that to be said, I'm just gonna
go ahead and stick to my girl. Down to the
(01:24):
coffee bean. I just yeah, I can't get with Dutch bros.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
What did you vorder from them? I just have questions
for your questions.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
I don't even remember. It was like some pumpkin situation
because they have like special pumpkin drinks.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Right now, Okay, did you did you try the muffin tops?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
I told you to?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
You know what? Girl? Well, yes, no I couldn't because
I had I had eaten two cookies yesterday. It's had
to watch my sugar, so dude a buffet. But if
I go back around, I will be doing it one
of these days because that is about is fire. But
I'm excited to try their their chemo pumpkin breule. Uh.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
It just sounds it just looks so bad.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
You can have a girl. I love that. Journey for you,
Thank you, journey for you.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I'm doing good.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Y'all, it's still your very demere, very mind focal host
Soran or Joe Hoo, And I'll remind y'all that not
all skin fucker kim folks. And while some are praying
for your victories, some are also praying on your downfalls.
I remind them that no woman informed against you shall
prosper girl. Okay, it's not spread by anything specifically in
my life. It's just I just think about way too often.
(02:39):
I'm like, no skinfolk can book in these streets, and
they are. They are trying to bring you down, girl,
and you can't. You can't go down with them. You
can't get in with them. When they go low, you
go high.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Or they get petty, then you get pettier. But until then,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
I will say this, when they go low, God makes
them your footstool. So I will also say that a
lot of the folks that down to down. It was
funny because shout out to one of our listeners. I
forget their name, but they had said, you know, I've
been a political girl for the last couple of weeks,
and I was talking to I don't know, I did
you see that video of Trump going up the stairs. No,
(03:15):
there's a video of Trump going and Mama is struggling
to get up the stairs. Well, he said, was like, oh,
it looks like she's going to the upper room. And
one of our favorite listeners was like, oh, you mean
to the fiery pits of Hell, and I just was yes.
So anyway, all that to be said. For those who
hate on not only you but us, they can meet
(03:37):
Trump there. But all that to be said. This week,
we have a guest in our third seat, and I
will tell you this, so I'm gonna go off script
four quick second. Y'all know that I am not a
TikTok girl. I've never been a TikTok girl. I've never
been a clock app girl. I've always been a real girl.
And I know they're the same thing. A lot of
people keep saying they're the same thing, and a lot
of TikTok stuff ends up on reels, But either way
(04:00):
just seems to do it for me. I don't know why.
I just enjoy it. Well, anyway, one day I was
laying on my couch and not doing the work I
should have been doing, and I was holding and I
found our guest in the reels and I instantaneously followed
them everywhere YouTube, I followed them on Instagram. I've recently
just followed them on Twitter because I didn't know they
(04:21):
had a Twitter. But I am when I tell you,
And this is the thing. We have had some names
on this show and not to say anybody is not.
And I was like, I was very very okay with like,
oh yeah, you know this nickname person is on the show.
And for some reason, I am fangirling so much with
this guest. I just I am absolutely in love. I
am their biggest fan, huge major. Not only can you
(04:45):
find her online giving cisgender men hell, and I think
that's the thing I love about her is that I
love seeing her give these people the same energy her.
But you can also find her in films like Cocomo
City and shows like rap Shit Please give it up
for then, the the One and the Only babased off.
How are you?
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Love?
Speaker 5 (05:05):
Oh my gosh, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
I just here, dang house down.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I don't even think
I deserve the honor, but thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
You do you do you do? Thank you, thank you,
thank you.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
We're I think we're doing Okay, over here, this this
you know, I will say, California is California. There's a
lot of shit happening over here. I think people think
this is the Golden State, and there's a lot of
trash that is happening over here. So you know, we're
just we're just making it through, making our way downtown,
walking fast the past and we're home bound. Yes, But
(05:50):
with that being said, we're going to jump into our
first segment. You always know what we're gonna do around here.
We give Miss Tisha Campbo her flowers and are still
here segment, And we're going to start this all today
by asking just something silly because I feel like some
of the stuff we might be doing maybe a little
heavy today. So are we making it to some deeper topics?
You know, it is what it is, so we try
to balance it, you know, a little bit of levity.
(06:12):
With all that being said, though, we are I'm asking
the question, what meme or television clip do you randomly
catch yourself saying and bursting out into laughter? So the
adhd N ME has been saying and Joo, you may
have catched me say it on Sunday. I said it
when we were at the Mill High Place, and I
was like girl, and I was like, yeah, but I've
(06:37):
just been randomly burning out to myself. You want us
to pay for apples for great things God gave us
for free?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Oh my god, I love it.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Let's see the cost of something going up just recently, Like,
so fucking Peacock has gone up to twenty four ninety
nine a month. Hulu is twenty four a month. Fucking
what is it? My god? My cat's health plan went
from fifty dollars to sixty four dollars. Everything continues to
(07:11):
keep going up. And so literally every time I get
a notice of something going up. Squarespace just went up.
They went up from twenty dollars to twenty five dollars.
It's like everything keeps going up, and I just literally
keep screaming, you want us to pay for apples, for grapes,
things God gave us for free? You won't burn? And hell,
what about what's something you probably say that's just you know,
(07:33):
keeps you chuckling.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
Okay, I don't say it out loud, but I say
it in my head when people piss me off, and
I always say the bleach fond bad body, but body,
I've always said that in my head. Ain't time somebody
cuts me off a sudden, I'm like, that's that bleach spond.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
But body right there, that's that BBB energy right there,
scream what about you?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Johan?
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Okay, So I think several So when someone lies to
me like just lies, I'm almost just like why.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
You all wait? Lie? Stop lie?
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Also because I like I used to be I used
to be liar when I was younger, and I was
a good liar. Like you, when you lie, you you
can't say too much, you can't say to you say
just run my mouse stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
So when people lie, I'm like girl white Trut played
the King of Lion, like why are you in line?
Or when some or when? So when someone says period,
it was like period, I'm like.
Speaker 6 (08:37):
Come on, it's just so.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Silly.
Speaker 5 (08:50):
That's literally my favorite meme on the internet when they
add the explosion at the end.
Speaker 6 (08:55):
It just every time, every time, that is my my
humor down to the tea, like.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Yeah, I was like what or or had rent free?
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Often like like just like I was like just w
says something silly or like like like the I don't
disagree with that.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I don't get there a whole rant I just en.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Be like am.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Just like I.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
You know, Nikki is a lot of things, but to freedom,
but Queen Radio gave us so many things, and freedom
is something I think about all the way too way
too often.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Yeah, I absolutely yeah so and you know what that to.
I just recently shared that in my stories because every
time I see it, I share.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
One's so silly, like the one the one with the
woman who's praying and like she on her bed, explosion
behind her in the whole house destroys. It just takes
me out every time because because Megan is such a vibe,
like Megan is yeah come.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
On, yeah, yeah, she's literally just we're literally the people
who's always online, like what if someone there's a word
for them, the people who are constantly online. Literally my
whole lexicon is nothing but the Internet. Like I literally say,
a whole bunch of dumb ship And sometimes people like
(10:29):
even when I go out to dinner and I want
something to go, my favorite thing is like, do you
have a container from my branch? And then like or
have you ever seen that? Give a box?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Wait?
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Can I get yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Line John?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
That is deep to me.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Any person who's in the service fucking knows. This song.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Makes me cackle all the time of Stuffily, when the
friend that showed me that, when everybody go out together
her she's like, if you ask for a fucking box.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Bucks for her line, it's literally me, I am literally
the Internet, the house down boots. But all that you said, uh,
while we take a quick break, we were we are
going up, let me reset that. Sorry all right, y'all.
Well that honestly that is put that put me right
in like the greatest mood ever. But we have to
(11:25):
take a quick break. But when we come back, we
will have more worth our guests and get into our
category is Seggy more in a bit? All right? So
this week we are talking about identity politics. This is
where we get into the stuff you you all know
our category is where we kind of get into the meat, honey.
And specifically about something that was mentioned a few weeks
(11:48):
ago that we talked to me and Joe Hoo talked
about on one of our sol episodes. We were talking
about this idea and it was something that I told
I told all of y'all that we were going to
revisit and so here we are this we we wanted
to kind of talk about this idea of the intersections
of blackness infeminity and why it seems that so many
black people, most black people, I'm not gonna even let's
(12:10):
let's not even play in anybody's face. Most black people
are so afraid of embracing femininity as a whole. And
so first I wanted to ask bebe And that was
partly why, like seeing it was like the perfect kind
of what do they call that? It was like almost
not can't what do they call that? The mystic zone?
It was like the mystic zone. Right, we were talking
(12:31):
about this, and then I find you online and I'm like,
you're the perfect person to bring into this conversation. And
that's why we invited you on. I know that on
your social media, as you often do, what I like
to believe is very funny videos where you challenge masculinity
in a very non traditional way. So before we kind
of get into the actual crux of talking about like
the intersections of the fear that lives in femininity around blackness,
(12:56):
I wanted to ask you before we get into the meat,
what made you want to start doing these videos in
the first place.
Speaker 5 (13:04):
Oh, my gosh, I actually didn't want to. I mean,
at first, I started doing content and I had a
list of ideas that I wanted to do, and I
had saw other trans women doing that, and I thought
that the whole voice showing thing was kind of cringey,
so I kind of was like avoiding it. And then
I just I was bored or I didn't have ideas
(13:27):
that day, and I went through my list and that
was the only thing that I was like, Okay, I
kind of feel like doing this today.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
So I did it.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
I gave it a try, and it just blew up
from there and ever since, it's just been I was like, Okay,
this is what they want from me, this is my calling.
And then I started noticing like all of the different
ways that I can take it, like educating people and
spreading awareness, and it's just been growing since.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah, and that's what I will say before you go, Joho,
I will say, the reason why I specifically love you
and I love following you is that you don't do
it to feed into the narrative. You I really like.
I love especially like the young kids, like there are
kids that we know are not supposed to be on
I forget, I forget the name of the app. You use,
but you tell them they're too young to be on
(14:13):
and you'll tell them to get off. And then they
find out that you're trans, and then they start asking
you questions. And you do it in a very what
I believe is a very educational and very very uplifting way.
Right You're not you're not telling them too much, but
at the same time you're educating them like this is
the process of what it means to be trans. This
is what it is. And so I think you just
do it in such a you're such a beautiful light.
(14:35):
It's just such a such a great, great, great way
of you. How you Yeah, well, you.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Know, and and I'm curious to ask because I know,
like I I know.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
That's that there are different ways in which people respond
to you.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
There are people who people who who who find it funny,
the people who like to take the time to actually
be educated.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
And learn from you.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
And they're people who like scream screaming and run away
and interesting because first of all, just just go back.
What what's the app you use? Is it okay?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
On TV?
Speaker 5 (15:11):
I used to use but they shut down.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Okay, I was because there's there's a need there Again,
is a niche time of millennial life where like where
like Omego was was a spot.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, I would.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Often do a similar thing with with people, so I
thought about time but not or they did hit there.
But but like I mean, especially with like like, especially
with with black folks that as well, like I want
to I want to lean more, wanting leaning more into that.
Ask well, you think that says about where we are
(15:45):
with the ideas, you know, the notions of femininity and
masculine in the black community, because that's what that's you
We're seeing these we're seeing these namage play out in
these videos as well too.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
So what are your thoughts on where we might be
at in that space?
Speaker 5 (15:59):
Mm hmm, Well, I I think where we are with
femininity a lot of a lot of Black women, especially
feel that when they have a son, it's their son's
job to protect them, to look after them. And when
(16:22):
their son comes out and and presents in a feminine way,
it's it's it's a feeling that they've lost a protector,
that they've lost basically, they lost someone who's supposed to
be who who's doing the job of what the father
(16:43):
is supposed to be doing, of what the parents supposed
to be doing and they're they're putting it on the child.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Mm hmm, yeah, that yes, it's it's a lot. So
I'll say this that that oftentimes it feeds into kind
of that whole notion of like you're the man of
the house. No, that's a child. But I think this
idea too, of us not having these kind of conversations,
(17:11):
us not leaning into kind of this opening of we
have to think about both masculine and femininity being fluid.
And I think that's what's something I again, in your content,
I have learned that I've loved and I'll even see
the moments like there are videos that I've watched. I've
watched every video you've done, but they are I just
a browse, honey and watch. But I see the moments
(17:34):
where you have again you've educated folks. But also too,
I see the moments too where you have come back
around and affirmed little queer babies too. Who are you know?
Behind you and you're really pretty and it's like, yeah, man,
you like we see each other. And so I think
that that's really cool. One of the things that I
had made mentioned that I wanted to ask you this
(17:55):
week is you know, I think in this conversation so much.
There's so much about it that I love because I
think that what we're really doing, all of us, like you,
what what we're doing with this show is groundbreaking, especially
when thinking about kind of this notion of how black
trans women are treated not just online but also on
(18:16):
costplay spaces. And that was one of the things I
really did want to get in kind of into this
conversation with. Right So, you're navigating kind of this education
no space of like having to teach the babies that
you really didn't ask for, but you're funding a following
of people who love what you're doing and what you're creating,
and so now you're going into these new spaces right
where now you're like, you're costplaying too. I wanted to ask,
(18:39):
how has your time online shaped your own thoughts on
your blackness and your femininity?
Speaker 5 (18:45):
Oh wow, hmm, that's a good question. Being online has
taught me first and foremost that a lot of of
the hatred and hostility towards them Black femininity and trans
(19:10):
or queer existence comes from from ignorance. It comes from
a place of not being educated, you know, like, for example,
I have a pretty big breast, for a trans woman,
and a lot of people cannot fathom the idea that
I've never had surgery, right. You know, a lot of
people are quick to be like, oh no, those are
(19:32):
those are silicone, those are those are faith. You know,
there's just so much misinformation and ignorance out there, and
that's where a lot of that stems stems from. Now,
I'm probably gonna get canceled for saying this is what
I'm going to say it. I think I do so
well with people like that because I used to be that.
(19:55):
There was a time of my life where I was transphobic.
There was the time of my life where I was homophobic,
one because of how it was raised, but two because
I didn't know anything about a trans person. I remember
in high squad I transclassmate, and I just I did
not know what to do with them. I didn't know
where to place them. I didn't want to be around them.
(20:16):
I was scared. I was literally scared just to be
in the same vicinity of them. But eventually it all
just blowed down to the fact that I just didn't
know what trans was. I didn't understand them, and I
think a lot of that hostility comes from that.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
You know, I I really can't see being canceled in
saying that because asked like you're you're you're in the
millennial range gen Z range, Like what's the the range
you're in? I'm actually like your age age, but it's like.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
The age I was born in ninety one.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Okay, okay, So so like I think I'm funny who
has grace for like like for for people who are
like a suber than nine these because beforehand, because I
think it's interesting, I think to your point, right, like
trans Phabi now is like is so different manifesto differently,
but also the access to it is just so different too, right,
So like like I mean, like a fortunal today, I'd
(21:16):
be like.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Like, girl, come on, like like is not cute, Like
it's not.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Cute, like you know and like and and sure like
we've always known better.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
But back like back then when the dot.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Com ra was first going on, social socials first going
on like there wasn't social access, there wasn't any any
positive media resentation like about transit dandy's or queer dandy.
So I so just as well I affirm like I
don't think you I'll think you cans were saying that
because I imagine like many of us who are wher now
like participate in like like like info with troubles when
(21:50):
we're younger, Like I can't, I can't mention someone who's
someone who did not like whether I accent or on purpose,
like because we just we just we just didn't know things.
And so I I real really hold you and hearing
you on that. I also so I have I have
two questions. One like I I want to get a
little more into the cost into the costplay things. I
think that is like they're just they just thinking very
(22:12):
like niche because costplay already is like is like is
subculture right, Like it's already subculture in general. There is
a huge there's a like there's always been a community,
uh like of the subculture with the black community of.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Comics and m a costplay.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
And I say, these things are they're different, but they
like that, you know they are. They're all realated to
each other in some way. And I'm curious about like
what that what experience like for you? Because costling is
already something that I feel like has has already has
always been like one a bit taboo in the black
community because it's like the idea of we're having like
we we want to be somebody else, we want we
want to be like a fantasy character. I think like
(22:48):
I think oftentimes like gender bending is like is very
is do you think generating in costplay is typically like
like like really like I think people really enjoy your
gennervating and in cost play anyways, but I think they're
black life it makes it more challenging. But then then
talking about like like like like like being black and
transitioning most being cosplay, like it's just it's just it's
just a very like a very like specific experience. So
(23:10):
I'm curious you can share more about what that's been,
what it's been like for you for you in like
in the costway community, in your black experience, and maybe
even like what like what what helps you feel really
affirmed and amazing in your.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Costs playing?
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (23:27):
Hm, well, for me, my experience has been mostly good,
but there there are times where where I get a
little backlash, especially being trans and in that in that
in that community I've had I've had people try and
tell me that black people don't do costway And it's
(23:48):
like where where in the world you get that that
idea from you know, it's just a bunch of craziness,
But for me, it's it's empowering. It's empowering. I mean
being trans is empowering enough. But it gives me, It
gives me a lot of courage because because you get
(24:12):
you don't have to, like, you don't have to put
yourself under such a lens because you're portraying a character,
you know what I'm saying, and that character can have
whatever flaws that you want, it can have whatever strength
that you want. And I don't have to put myself
in so much of a lens as when I look
in the mirror. So it gives me a lot of
(24:33):
empowerment to just be free and just let loose. You know,
cost is just playing dress up. It's it's it's it's
a liberating thing.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Is cosplay is amazing and so cool. I like I
I I haven't. I used to costolgy much younger. I haven't.
I haven't as adult.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
It's more so because like like like asked us as
a fat person to clothing and cosplay is not easy
unless you make it yourself. And I'm and as I
as I said before, I'm ask instress and they'll never
have me on drag R never so my like the
(25:12):
the second question, like the real question I had for
you before that, because they just get the question of
costways came up for me. But I really used to
ask you, what you're doing is really severing a trope
that we've seen for so long on TV shows and films,
right that usually made usually make trans folks.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
About the joke.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
But in the videos that you do, like like you're
not just in on the joke, like you're actually the
keeper of the joke, which takes the power of others
in doing it to you. But I also imagine that
some folks that some like other transphots like like may
have tension like with it too because it because imagine
like it brings up trauma or her experiences. I'm curious,
(25:50):
I'm really curious asking how do you how do you
navigate that as well?
Speaker 5 (25:55):
Surprisingly, I've only had one trans person come and and
and give that angle of things. And it wasn't really
so much of the making it a joke. It was
the fact that some people were getting upset that I
would I would do the joke everything, they'd be cool,
(26:15):
and then I'd skip them and they'd be like, why
don't you skip them? This is a guy who's who's
clearly interested in you and wanted me to do whatever.
And I'm like, well, first of all, I have a boyfriend,
so I'm just here to make everyone laugh and have
a great day. But surprisingly I haven't had a lot
(26:35):
of a backlash, which is part of why I was
a little hesitant to start it. But it's been good
and I forgot what I forgot where I was going.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
With that happened?
Speaker 6 (26:48):
Uh what were we wait?
Speaker 5 (26:50):
Why did you ask me again?
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Just like, yeah, I was just saying, like, you know,
what you're doing is really subverting a trope. Did we
see something slung on TV shows and such and which?
But you're also you're also subvertience to taking the power
out of it as well too. But also you know,
we know that there are folks who may who may
have tension with that, like seeing the way in which
you do it, So how's the navigation of it?
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Right?
Speaker 3 (27:17):
Right?
Speaker 5 (27:17):
So I think you said it best, like it takes
a lot of power away from the haters, and that's
like the best part, you know, It's it's not so
much of making a joke out of my existence or
or the whole uh idea of everything. But it takes
(27:38):
a lot of power away from them because it shows
them that one, I'm not I'm not bothered, you know. Two,
I'm confident enough and I know who and what I am.
And I think the most annoying part for them when
they're dealing with me is that there there's nothing you
(28:00):
can tell me about myself. Like, I've reached a point
of my life where I am fully confident, fully enveloped
in me, and when people try and tell me that
I'm this or that is so it's so comical to me.
It's like, tell me that I'm a tyrannosaurce rex and
I'll always be a tyrannosaurce Rex's that's just the most
(28:22):
ridiculous thing to me. When people are like, you're a man,
you'll always be a man, It's like, okay, well, saying
that it's not gonna make it true, but go off, girl,
feel better?
Speaker 6 (28:35):
Yeah? Do you feel better?
Speaker 5 (28:36):
You got that off your chest?
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Oh my gosh, that's.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Real, that's real. I love it because I always always
make the joke. I really wish people would say stuff
to me like that. I never heard like being called
the original.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
I love the original.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
Yes, I love laughing girl, but like make it good.
Don't this shit hurt every day? As the worst sason
you do?
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Come down?
Speaker 4 (29:02):
Right?
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Yeah, I'm like, I've been black and queer. My whole
life is very little things you can say to me
that's gonna make me upset. I love and I love
this conmos so much because I think, you know, if
there's anything that folks can take away from watching you,
or watching your or interacting with your platform, and that's
again why I wanted to invite you on was I
(29:24):
think it is imperative that we continue to remind people
how important it is to kind of like take back
that power. Right. So it's like, yes, the world's gonna
judge you, and the world's gonna always have something to
say about who you are and how you show up, right,
But when you like, like Jojo said, subverted and you
ultimately say, now, that's why this show is called black
Fat Film. It's like, because you get people, well, why
(29:46):
would you put fat in the title? And it's like,
because I am, And it's.
Speaker 5 (29:52):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
So I think.
Speaker 5 (29:57):
A lot of people, a lot of people come at
me and they're like they tell me this or that,
and you only people only have power if you give
them power. You know what I mean, People only have
power if you give them power. You can't you can't
be reactive to everything. A lot of people are like,
why don't you correct people on when they miss gender
(30:20):
or or do anything. Well, because it's not true. Someone
miss gendering me won't make it true, Like I'm still
a woman. It's fine, it's okay, Like let's take a breath,
It's cool, okay, But you can't give you can't give
power to people like you have to maintain your power
and you have to take that back from them, hold
(30:40):
on to it.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
I love it, and I think you mentioning power is
a great way to kind of set up this next
question that I have. I said, you know, one of
the things that I wanted to make mentioned before we
go on to talk talking a little bit more into
the show, and I think it's important for everyone to
hear right now because we do recognize. I mean, obviously,
I know that you're in Florida, and like I told
you before we got on, I live here in California,
(31:02):
and we can see across the US like they're doing
anything and everything that they can to take trans rights
away from.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
People in general.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
And so with that being said, right, this idea of
how you use social media as a way to reclaim
your voice as a black trans woman, and how you've
also let the world in on what black trans women
do with right, like we see very clearly, like especially
and it's funny because I think your editing skills are
absolutely fantastic. Are you the one who edit your videos?
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Oh god, every like there there's this one in particular
video where you you intercut C three po running away
because the guys screams, and baby, when I tell you that,
I almost got in trouble because I yelped so loud
when I saw that intercut. And the thing I also
(31:50):
do a lot, brother, I do that so much because
of your videos or are forever with you. But anyway, skills,
one of the things that I wanted to ask was
what advice would you give to other black trans folks
(32:12):
who are listening to us and they're traversing the net
and looking for community. They're trying to find a platform,
they're trying to build a platform, just trying to create
a space to be their authentic selves.
Speaker 5 (32:25):
M Wow, I don't think I could do it without
good friends and therapy. I think that's my advice. I
think a lot of us, that's black folk period, like
to skip over mental health and act like it's not
(32:47):
a real thing, or it's something that we just have
to deal with on our own and it'll go away
over time. We really have to hone in on that
and focus on that, like you do not have to
do this alone. Have a good good friends, support group,
go to therapy. All those things are important and we
have to take we have to take mental health serious.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Oh if you if you go to the.
Speaker 5 (33:10):
Doctor for your peepee or your kouchie burning, you.
Speaker 6 (33:14):
Need to go when you have a thought, it's the
same thing, right, it ain't right, go to the doctor.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
The words to live by when someone's not right, go
the doctor.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
But the doctor well, well, listeners, well y'all get yourself
checked out and you go.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Subscribe to YouTube channel.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
We gotta pay some bills to our doctors, lights on
and make sure our subjects. Baby we back and just
to said, hey, fam, we are back. And this week
I think it's the perfect time to bring back go
Love Yourself into the mix for next Seggie.
Speaker 4 (33:57):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
This week, I'd pick it backing off the backs of
our last I want to talk to you a little
bit about transitions no intended and this is about this,
this this idea of finding love. I was like, let's
make sure, like I said, you know, right, finding love
for the person you thought you want to be the
person that you are becoming. Again, this wants to be
(34:21):
about the space between who you thought you'd be who
you're becoming. So I'm curious to ask how the both
of you come to terms with the ever changing flow
of evolving into someone different. I know, for me, I
was actually moved by Michelle Obama's book Becoming.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Where's that big book? Girl? She looks big, she she
looks big.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
She just think that she's just think about the cover.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
She a big bag, bitch big, but really, like you know,
it was kind of a moment reading that book because
it made me recognize and as Michelle wrote this right
like where she writes, we're in a constant She's in
a constant state of collaboration. Now, I was like, Oh,
we're actually all calibrating all the time, like we're always
(35:12):
improssed about something. And to have that language is so
transformative because it dives into the idea what it means
to constantly become, right, Like becoming is actually a full
process that you engage in that you never actually stop,
like you're always becoming actualization, And I someone who believes
is like actualization or like you know, Nirvana, I don't
think is actually real.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Like you know, like a lot of Eastern teachings teacher
that you like, like you work towards enlightenment, but say
of enlightenment is actually is not always very possible, because
the whole point is that you're actually striving towards it
and it may not happen.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
I think also loved, loved, loved the book because it
brings breakings in the idea of possibility, right, like like
like when you say I'm becoming, you're also saying that
I'm possible everything that everything is possible, everything around me
as possible, Right You're like, I'm.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Possible, It's possible, I'm possible.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Like you know, there's a new song that Whenney and
Brainer are singing, it's not impossible, it's impossible. I really
feel like that that that book Relee like dives into
it so that and so I think I'll come to
terms with it because I recognize that it's all part
of the process.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
How I evolve and change and flow.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Is that's the thing that's also flow, right, Like some
people want to rigid and stuck and stagnant and and
and not move, and like life around you is constantly moving,
So how day rivers is to move with it. And
so that to me is is a good reminder of
all these things are about about the process. My whole
being is about the process. So that's how I've can
come to terms with it. But babe, how about you?
Speaker 5 (36:46):
Oh well, transitioning and change in general, it's important to
know that it's not a goal line. It's an evolution.
It's a constant, continual strut. It's a constant, continual run.
And there there's there's not an end goal that you
(37:10):
have to meet. I think a lot of people do
themselves a disservice when they try and make an end goal.
One that's limiting yourself, but two a lot of times
we don't reach that. And if we do, great, But
I don't think we should strive for that. I think
we should just always strive to better, always strive to
(37:31):
better ourselves and.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Let it be that.
Speaker 5 (37:35):
And there's like there's like a growing thing with with
a lot of young trans women who or or trans people,
sorry not trans women, trans people who transition and then
they find out they regret it. And it's because there's
this false idea that when you transition, there's going to
be an end goal. You're going to be a woman,
(37:57):
everything's gonna be happy, everything's going to be better. But
that's not the reality of being trans or transitioning. You're
always going through this every single day, and there there
really is no end to it, you know, but you
transition to help your to help lessen some of those
those stressors that you have.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
To deal with.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
I love that you mentioned that because there's this whole
notion and and and and I want to make sure
that I'm checking my privilege, and I'm saying, like I
totally being someone who is non binary and being someone
who has, you know, jobs, not just one job, but jobs.
I'm grateful for opportunities and the things that come my way.
(38:40):
But I think that it's also in the same vein,
you know, it's kind of like that idea of like, well,
once I have a whole bunch of money on, my
problems will go away. And it's like, well, some of
your problems may go away, right right, right, You still
have to pay taxes, You still have to make sure
that nobody's stealing from you. You still got to make sure.
So there, it's like, we don't have nuanced conversations around
(39:01):
what transition and change is. And I think you bring
up a really good point because I think that's also
partly when you hear people talking about well, transit, you know, folks,
regret it, folks. It's important for that mental health piece
to be there too. And that's why I'm also saying
that it is so important for trans and non binary
people and every person alike to have the therapy that
(39:22):
they need because there's so much that we have to
unpack when we're becoming the person that we truly think
we want to become, and then also the journey along
that too. So I love that you made mentioned to
all of those things. You know, I think about this question, joho,
because I know I don't know when, so I want
to say this to our listeners. I don't know when
(39:43):
the episode is going to come out, but I do
know that we just recently recorded with Angela Carross on
her show Now, which you can find on Apple podcast
and we were I think we were hinting at this.
We were talking about this a little bit, this idea
that you are becoming the person you thought you wanted
to become, or what it means to become the person
(40:05):
you thought you wanted to become, and when you get
there kind of looking around and being like, ooh this this,
this place is messy. I don't really want to be
here no more.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Listen, what's that?
Speaker 3 (40:19):
What's that real? That's like the the ones like collecting
your things. And she was like, you ain't guys to
say nothing else to me.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
Yeah, She's like, that'll do it. Yes, that'll do it.
It's literally you gotta worry about me. You worry about me.
That is literally me down to it because one of
the things I'm gonna do is get up and leave.
But what I will say is that I think to
your point, Bay, I think Bebey. I think everyone truly
(40:50):
believes that you know, change or oh, if I when
I make it, when I get that really big job,
get that really big opportunity, everything is gonna be great.
And it's like, nah, girl, you know something. Fran from
the friend Zone always says, new levels, New devils, and
so I think it is so important for us.
Speaker 5 (41:07):
A lot of times you get down that road and
you find more problems, you lose some problems, and you
pick up more problems.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
So very much that and so you know, transition, you know,
is a bit because you have to deal with so
many truths that I think you may not have the
capacity to deal with. And you also have to deal
with people, you know, coming to terms with the idea
that you're no longer the person that they thought you were.
And I think that's where I'm at, you know, when
(41:35):
people ask me about this new found and it's not
even new found. I tell people every day what me
and Joe, who I've been working on, has been for
the last three years, and also what we have last
and then what I've been working on in general has
been for the last eight years. But just kind of
have to know, you know, it comes to the terms
that you're never gonna everything is ever evolving. And I
(41:57):
think also the big part to being okay was saying,
because I'm changing, I'm okay to lose you, and I'm
okay to lose everything else that people thought of me
in order for me to be able to get to
where I need to go. So I don't know who
needs that word, but I feel like this week we're
all And I'll even say this too, I think coming
out of the pandemic. I think that's another thing too,
of like, there's so many changes that have happened since
(42:21):
twenty twenty, and I think a lot of people are
struggling with the world and how it's changed. And you know,
it's just it's it's ever flowing and it's ever changing.
You know, this shit is deep. So with that being said,
now that we found ourselves in our counselor bag again
and Anyama von Zhet has sent us a bill, we
need to shift giz and give y'all the segie. We
know that are often wanting and waiting for yes ma'am
(42:44):
and no man pam when we come back. All right,
So for those of you who are new here, welcome,
come on in here, sit down. You know, for streats.
We're jumping into our yes ma'am and our no man pam. Second,
and this is when we basically talk about the things
in the world that we either love and we want
(43:05):
to celebrate or the or we find a tomato and
we want to throw. Have you seen that video. Speaking
of which, talking about tomatoes, have you seen that video?
Whether the tomato is singing and they're like, you're a vegetable,
but he's no, He's like, I'm a fruit fruit and
they're all singing to him that he's a vegetable, and
(43:25):
basically he just starts. Anyway, all that he said talking
about being on oh gosh, there's a word for it
for people who are chronically on the internet, I think.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
Is what someone refers to online or something.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
Chronically online for people who are chronically online. That just
made me giggle when I thought about vegetables. But anyway,
all that to be said. This week, my yes, ma'am,
I wanted to shout out global black pride. I guess
it was something that got started in twenty twenty two.
It is now a global thing. Uh, basically black pride
is being celebrated everywhere. I know that you celebrate black
Pride in San Diego, but for now it seems it's
(44:00):
just it's a thing. I guess they're doing globally and
it's happening all over the world, and I don't specifically
know if there's a pinpoint or a location where it's
like like the mecca, if that's the right word. I
don't know where it is. I was trying to read
as much as I could and I couldn't find.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
Global Black Pride. I think it's at Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Okay, Well, anyway, all that to be said, I know
Billy Porter is a minor. That's a choice. But Nigerian
singer yimmi a lade and if I tear this up, yon,
blame it on my head heart and then oh maa,
what you may is going to be there as well.
So again, Global Black Pride shout out to them. I'm
(44:42):
really excited that we're seeing more black visibility in queer spaces. However,
and this is me getting ready to be a little message.
I know, we got some floats from Atlanta. Her I
really don't. I just I want to say, and i'
been I'm trying to be be nice. I'm trying to
(45:03):
I'm I'm I'm a fine Okay. When there's joy, we
still have to sometimes talk about the miss and I'm
gonna go ahead and go there. I'm I'm struggling a
little to say, like, I kay for Global Black Pride,
but I also see that there have been there has
been some stuff going on with my sister Hope Giselle
(45:25):
in regards to her supposedly being there, and there's some
back and forth and I, I don't I'll be transparentnything.
I don't know the full scope of what is going on,
but my no man, Pam is going to be and
kind of to your point at the beginning. So when
you said it, I was like, that's the reason why
we're best friends. When you said all skin folks and
kin folk. There there's this frustration that I have that
(45:46):
when we work in black spaces, there's this automatic understanding that, oh,
we don't really have a budget, so you're you're supposed
to be okay with scraps and I don't. I I
don't love that. I don't love that. And so, like
I said, I want to be clear that I don't
know the whole situation. I don't know everything. I've only
heard what Hope has put out. But it is frustrating
(46:08):
to me, as someone who is in a lot of
black spaces and often pushing for black queer spaces to
have more resources and to do more things, to hear
that Hope Gizelle is having the experience that they are
having so without me speaking for Hope because I don't
I don't want to put words in her mouth. What
I will say is I just think we as a
black community need to do better by our own people.
(46:30):
That's that's what my nomad is. Seeing what I see
and knowing what I know, and knowing where we are
currently in this world and the idea that often we're
we're not supporting each other the way that we should.
So that's my nomampam this week.
Speaker 3 (46:46):
So my son I was talking about no Man Pam
because it also is to Black Pride. Well it's Blackla
not too Black Pride, Black Pride, blackpal Lady goah blaha related.
Because so so when i'm I'll just say right, like
I imagine what the Globlat Pride organizers did is different
than the people that who are coming to enjoy Globlat Pride,
(47:08):
the vendors who are there.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
And so when the vendors had.
Speaker 3 (47:10):
Got vandalized on this past week, like like an act
and act I believe of you know, of homophobio, transphobia, corfobia,
all the above. So nomam him to that because it's
it's just it's just like it's just really sad that
people continue to think that, like like like like we
black folks and black court trans folks have had to
(47:32):
survive so much, so you like you you really think
this will scare us, Like you really think this will
be the man scares us? Like again, be original, just
like just be like like the you know or like
or but just stop, like just stop, We're going to
be here anyways. I don't understand what your issue is
with folks, like like how you just how like how
(47:54):
how are you gonna be Atlanta and be like let
me like, let let let me come for black films,
we come from Acorn and trans folks like does so
does so deeply black, like just it's just don't make
a type of sense. I just wish people would stop
because it just again at the fool, girl at.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
The fool, going at the fool.
Speaker 3 (48:12):
My yes, man, Pam is ta Doci because I just
I just fucking love Doci and and tomorrow, by time
it comes out, it'll be passed. But tomorrow on there's
thirtieth I think her first album, like like like full
album comes out, I think she's done.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
Or you know, or a new album comes out and
I'm just so pumped, like she.
Speaker 3 (48:35):
Was dropping singles like every other weekend feels like and
there's just so fat in her range, the range like
she like she can go from like slow rap to
like to like R and B to like just like
strap hip hop, to the to them like to then
like fast like raper fire rap.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
Like I just love all of her music. I'm gonna
say she's she's gonna be in LA this week. She'sn't anyway,
but she's gonna be performing.
Speaker 3 (48:58):
Actually, actually, John, you might want to go. It's it's
it's a it's a black flea market on Saturday. It's
like it's like fifteen bucks to go somewhere. I think
you're and she and then she's performing at six like
a like half hour set.
Speaker 2 (49:11):
Girl, I am.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
Red deep, but just like just like like she just
like just like her as I feel like she's somebody,
she's she's a rapper and artist right now who I
feel like like does that does not straightway does not
straight away from blackness at all. The fashion is always
right like right right like like she like she she
really does all black hair styles.
Speaker 2 (49:29):
Like the dancing is right, the the the ver the
versus are right.
Speaker 3 (49:33):
Like everything about her is just so fucking good and
I feel like this is somebody who has like come
out the gates hot and.
Speaker 2 (49:39):
Is not like the momentum is not sing down for her,
like she is going off and popping off. And I live,
so just yes, don't hear this. I fucking love you.
I mean, I mean you you are a black quir girling.
So I might be like, let's get on the show
two girl, because you just give me life everywhere you go.
So yeah, I live.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
I live and shout out to any black queer person
who is getting their shine right now in any form,
because entertainment is trash and so veryful to see people
actually getting there, you know, getting the stuff that they
deserve because we again, I know Doci has been around
for a minute, and I know that a lot of
her songs are used on TikTok, and it's like outside
(50:22):
of that, it's like you don't really ever see her anywhere,
and so it's really cool to be able to see
like people really starting to come around kind of the
same way we're seeing people come around too for Megan,
Like I remember, I know Megan has been you know,
Meg has been popular, right, but now it's like, oh,
she's hosting award shows and she's doing this, she's okay,
good like I see that she's getting her momentum. So
(50:43):
I'm really happy just to see black women, black women
everything specifically, and it always comes back to common Yes,
black women.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
My presence.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
All right. Well, with that being said, send us your thoughts,
your feedback in your email to Black Fat Femme Pod
gmail dot com. You can also send us your thoughts
for your social media by interacting with our posts on
the Instagrams and down to the twitters you know, I'm
never gonna call it x and down to the YouTube's
all the places that you like to follow us and
get more information. And speaking of following, right, once you
(51:15):
follow us on the youtubes, you also go to Instagram
click on our link because we have a live show
on October twelfth down at San Diego, Honey, you could
come on down and see us in real time. Tickets
are available for fifteen doll has fifteen doll heads less
than you spin down to the Starbucks girl, but it's
(51:37):
gonna be twenty at the door, So if you if
you don't come, if you come to the door and
you need a ticket, it's twenty.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
How you get a performance of drag you get, you
get us in a live show. You can get drinks
and snacks at the bar. It's it's it's a fuller production.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
Baby booth, so the whole production, honey, if you if
you out your calm got let me let me talk
about that the same city I got you, I.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
Got your live shot special guests please, yes.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
Yes, you will be invited. And with that being said,
we're also letting folks know too that if you pre
ordered my book Black Fat fam Uh, that you can
also hit us and let us know that you pre
ordered it and you can get a special code to
get a discount for your ticket. So just shoot us
a little you know. Oh hey, look I bought it
on Amazon. I got it down to the Bombs and Nobles,
(52:28):
and we'll shoot you a code so that way you
can get a discount on your tickets. All right, Queen Joho,
where can the dolls find you?
Speaker 2 (52:35):
You can find me.
Speaker 3 (52:36):
I should do every week at Joejo Daniels across all
the socials from my website Jordandaniels dot com. If book
me and have me to do some speaking gigs and
if not there you will you will thank you. It's
now that you will find me strutting the streets talk
about our live show.
Speaker 2 (52:51):
Say hey, we're doing, We're doing on twelve.
Speaker 3 (52:54):
It's also my birthday. Come come and see it, Come
and join it, Come and join us, Come and come
and come enjoy us.
Speaker 2 (53:00):
Do all the things.
Speaker 3 (53:01):
And if you see on the street, please talk to
me so I can get you back to our live show.
Buy a ticket, y'all. Like I, I will compost. If
I have to dance on cars, I'll wash your car
for you somewhere. I'll flash, which reminds me I was
gonna tell I will tell you earlier, back in my
own legal days. Also so KEVI will say this all
on the air and my old MgO days, me and
(53:22):
my friend I would it's so bad. I will need
you to bleep this, just to just bleep this, please, woman.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
Just one long bleep. But basically I would, I would.
I would put the camera undneath my.
Speaker 4 (53:53):
God.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
I would start to get none no better. But we
was out here full the I love.
Speaker 1 (53:58):
I love to see you know what it reminds me
of do you remember that story of that beast of
that football player who got.
Speaker 2 (54:12):
M oh.
Speaker 1 (54:34):
Yeah, But that's what it reminds me of the time as.
Speaker 2 (54:38):
Well, so no one actually be the persons. No one
knows what John's referring to.
Speaker 1 (54:42):
And then alludes to what I said, I live, I
love it, I love it, and you just I just
love when the dolls get gooped, when you that long
cought walk.
Speaker 2 (55:01):
It always.
Speaker 1 (55:03):
Yeah, it's always the pause. Close that mouth, close that mouth.
I love it, I love it, I love it so much.
Oh my God. With that being said, you can visit it.
As for me and my household, you can visit me
down to ww dot doctor John Paul dot com. You
can also go anywhere and everywhere that you you need
(55:25):
to find your books. You can pre order my book,
uh black Fatfam, Revealing the Power of Visibility and Queer
Voices in Media and Learning to Love Yourself. I know
it's a long ass title, but anyway, Blackfatfam finding all
your favorite places. Other than that, you can find me online.
Going off, Okay, so I know, Joho, you don't watch
(55:47):
Big Brother? Do you watch Big Brother? You don't? Fuck?
We need to find somebody who can who who can
really jive with me on this, and I just want
to do a whole episode about Big Brother. By the
time you hear this voting will have happened. Tucker is
on the block, but so is Angela and Kelsey, and
I need the house to get it together and get
(56:10):
to I have never hated a Big Brother player as
much as I hate this man. If y'all don't get
Tucker out this week and next week, I hope I
can come back because if I come back next week,
I'm just gonna If he's gone at the end of
this episode tonight, next week will be I will nothing
nothing bad can happen to me next week. If he leaves,
I will, I will be the happiest I've ever been.
(56:32):
But if this man stays in the house to create
more chaos, I need them to get that man up
out of here. So I just wanted to share that
that's where I will be this week. Is praying to all,
to every God, to every universe, to Aliens, praying to Beyonce, anybody.
I just need them to get this man up out
(56:52):
of here. Make the right decision, y'all, that man too.
Do you know what, though, I think time and the
universe is gonna do what needs to be done already,
so I'm gonna go ahead just wait on that. But
it's coming. It's coming, It's coming, It's coming, and won't
it be? Can you feel the brand new day. I'm
literally going to be out in the streets with a
(57:16):
party whistle, you know that whistle for the New Year's
I'm gonna just be blowing it, blowing it, screaming to
the high heavens. All right, y'all, Well, before we get canceled,
I want to say thank you to everybody over who
helps make the show go. We want to thank our
producer by Wang for handling all of the logistics, and
everyone down to iHeart Media who continues to keep the
(57:37):
show up and running and letting us be a fool
on the microphone, honey. We also want to shout out
our wonderful editor. I'll just go ahead and say our
our step in editor. We want to give our credits
to XD for stepping in and helping the show flow
go while Chris is away on vacation. We love both
of y'all, and we thank you both for what you
(57:57):
do for the show. This is it, Stay black, fat, feminine, fabulous,
and remember it ain't tricking if you got it, all right?
I love us for real. Bang
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