Who Let These Goons Out the House?

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The devil thought he had me, but got away. The
Black Fat Felm Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio and
Doctor John Paul LLC. Hey everyone, welcome to another episode

(00:22):
of the Black Fat Fan Podcast where all the intersections
of identity I celebrated. I'm one of your hosts, John
also known as Doctor John Paul, and I just want
to say, and I want to reiterate that the devil
thought he had me. I did, but you know what.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
I got a word and we're gonna talk more about
that a little bit later and our know ma'am all right, yes, ma'am,
and our No Man segment, we're gonna talk a little
bit more about what happened.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
But I just want to say again, the devil continue
to think she had me. See. See, this is the thing.
The devil thinks she's that girl, she really does. And
every once in a while you have to remind her
that you are not the lead singer of this group.

(01:15):
You are not You are not running anybody's show. You
are the We can send you your luggage, Okay, we.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
Can send you your luggage. Please, I can send you
your luggage.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
We can send you your luggage. That's really it. And
I'd be wanting to say that to her, like I
just be looking at her dad to face, like you know,
we can send you your luggage, right, And so I
just really want to say, girl, you keep trying it
and you're gonna lose every single time. But anyway, I'm
gonna go into it a little bit more later. How
are you my favorite?

Speaker 2 (01:47):
Day?

Speaker 3 (01:48):
I was trying to interpret a flag twirling as you're speaking,
to match, to match your words. It's like the devil
thought she had has so many friends in my house
right now? Who damn it's your girl, Joe or Jordan
if it's not my checks. They got a question for
the people who who quote unquote do it all as

(02:11):
in work, sleep, on time, cook well, work out, make
time for friends, et cetera. How how do you do it?
Are you cheating here? Do you really have it all?
Do you even have friends? Just made content on that
in your basement? Do you actually sleep? I just want
to know how you because I've been trying to do
it leave myself and girl, I'd be tied. Imp I

(02:33):
can't do it all, and I hate I hate the
girls were like you can have it all, and you
can't have it all girl, No, you can't. I'm trying
to do so hard. Or it's like you can. If
you want to be exhausted every day, you can. If
you want to sacrifice something that you love. Now, am
I sacrifice this girl? My family sacrifice everything for me
to be in this world. I don want sacrifice something else.

(02:54):
It's too much. So I want to know how y'all
do it? Help a girl?

Speaker 1 (02:58):
She said, I'm not. I'm not giving you.

Speaker 3 (03:01):
I'm not giving. I'm not giving ship up. Okay, I
have not. I did not have slavery on one side
and gash it was the other for me to sit
here and secrifice for you people.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
No, no, man, no, no yep. And I say I've
been spelling absolutely not as in a ug ht not
like I'm absolutely not going to be doing any of that.
And sometimes you gotta just tell people like absolutely not.
I'm not you know, Oh you gotta work out and

(03:30):
get a summer body. Nah, nigga, you don't get this
body because I'm tired. I've worked too. I literally have
a full time job. We got this podcast, family stuff
going on, price of everything is going up. Can we
talk about just real quick? I don't know if you've
been seeing that clip go around of McDonald's when they
were talking about the menu and the prices on the
menus and how like almost ten years ago, the prices

(03:53):
of McDonald's was like it was two ninety nine for
a meal. It was like three something for me, and
now it's like ten eleven dollars.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
Premium prices, girl, premium prices.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
Literally within the food wasn't even the food is still
not fooding. And so it's just like, y'all don't get
what y'all get from me. And if you get an attitude,
you just get attitude because a bit is tired.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
Because well, I love Taco Bell. Why they charge sixteen
dollars for a chicken for two chicken chili, but supreme
combo sixteen dollars?

Speaker 1 (04:25):
I might as well go.

Speaker 3 (04:25):
To Air one?

Speaker 1 (04:27):
Like where am I meaning?

Speaker 3 (04:29):
Like? And I'm paying Air one prices for a.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (04:37):
And I love TV for me?

Speaker 3 (04:40):
How's run still on that one? I need to calm down. AnyWho, y'all,
we gonna kick off our show with you every week
giving Missushi Campbell her flowers and are still here segment
so that we're still here. We're gonna start off today
by doing just a Q three check in because we
needed girl. We haven't done this in a minute, and
I think it's good for our listeners just to know
that even the midst of the what amen the struggle, Girl,

(05:02):
We're gonna be all right, and also for us to
share the shit that we're going through. So I'm a
fast you, John, How is you for real?

Speaker 1 (05:11):
How is me for real? You know this is a
really good question because you know I talk a lot
of shit on this podcast, and I know we do
a lot of dope shit, right, we do a lot
of dope shit. You know you're you. You know I
want to I want to shout you out again. Mother
was given an award by her city for the amazing
work that she's done. Obviously she's doing stuff for Pride.

(05:32):
You just finished San Diego Pride and now you're getting
ready to roll into Black Pride, which again I'm still
trying to figure out which day I'm gonna be there,
but I am going to come and support you one
of those days. I just got to figure out which
dy I'm gonna be. I'm gonna have the energy or
the space to take off to get down there. But
I say all that to say, I think people don't

(05:53):
recognize that both me and you, even with all of
the dope shit, that we're doing right both for the community,
for ourselves, for our families, our friends, for the people
we love, for the world right where we still have
like work, We still have real work we have to do.
And so I think for me, like, while my nine
to five has been a huge struggle for me. And
when I say struggle, I don't say that in like, oh,

(06:15):
my job is terrible. I say it in the sense of,
like I work with Obviously everybody knows I work with
LGBTQ youth and transitional age youth, and so all of
the stuff that's coming down and the government is impacting
our youth in some kind of way, whether it's the
mental health, whether it's around access to care, whether it's
you know, we just recently had a youth reach old
to us and tell us that they were homeless, right

(06:37):
or they were houseless, And so having to deal with
all of that in the midst of like trying to
make sure that they're safe and trying to make sure
that even we as an work have everything we need.
It's a lot, right, But at the same time, I
think The thing about all of the stuff we've been
doing and what has been keeping me so lifted and
even the moments when I feel like all of this
stuff is so heavy, is knowing that we're sending a

(06:59):
greater message of life. Not only are LGBTQ youth going
to always be here, but we're always going to be here. Right,
We even if we're not here in a physical form,
our legacy and our voices. Right, we have one hundred
and sixty one. Like this episode is episode one hundred
and sixty one. There are one hundred and sixty one
episodes of this show for people to difference and go

(07:21):
back to and be able to pull from.

Speaker 3 (07:23):
Right. So it's a lot of work, but it's a
lot of work we do.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
We have a catalog, And so I say that, you know,
while I'm in the throes of like life and trying
to work, I'm also in the throes of scheming up
a second book, and I just applied to a documentary
fellowship with Netflix, and you know, I'm also trying to
you know, start thinking about, you know, opening back up
this this film that I started during the pandemic that

(07:51):
I'm like, I actually think I might have a new
take on it, and I might actually be able to
sell it, and there's all of these things. So, you know,
as much as I feel like there's a lot going
on around me in terms of like how bad it
can it can feel, I'm also very, very very I'm
just grateful. And I posted this last night. You know,
do I want more?

Speaker 3 (08:11):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (08:11):
Do I think I deserve more hell yet? Or do
I think we deserve more Hell? Yeah? But I'm also
in a place of like, yo, like I'm okay with this,
this this world and this life that we've built, and
so I've been thinking a lot about that. But I
also will say this too, I'm also resting more, which
I think is kind of odd considering that I feel
like I always have something on my to do list.

(08:32):
But I do feel like I'm giving myself more agency
to just be like, you don't have to do this today.
Like it used to be like, Oh, I gotta get
this done so I can get this done, so that
way I could be done, and then everybody can oh,
look how busy am Look how busy I am? And it's like, no,
I'm not that. I just feel like I'm not that
girl anymore. I really feel like I've just gotten to
this place now where I think I think I'm starting

(08:54):
to get back to myself after really truly a year
of not feeling like myself, Like twenty twenty four into
twenty twenty five, I really didn't feel like me. And
I feel like now I'm kind of sitting and looking
around and I'm going, actually, i think I'm back to
the john that I where I feel good in this body,
I feel good in this work, I feel good in
this moment, and so yeah, what.

Speaker 3 (09:15):
About your baby? Oh good, I'm really happy to hear
this for you. I like, I really love this for
you so very much, and I want to I want
I want to identify this feeling. So I'm trying to
retrench to myself this year. I've in the past few years,
I just have lost myself. The things are mann me,
center me and again in some way, in some way,

(09:36):
it's like I'm changing, Like I'm changing a lot as
well too, like but it's really I'm in a weird place.
So I was the doctor recently and I'm just thinking,
like a check up in physical and stuff. I've had, yeah,
my labs done, and I'm I don't remember why I'm

(09:56):
I'm certain they're going to be not great. But I'm
also at the doctor bal I am. I'm the biggest
I've ever been, which I was a bit shocked by,
like I wasn't expecting that. I'm like, I feel I've
feard it, like you know, to be a bit bigger
than last time. I was like, oh, oh, she's at
the number that I did not think I she was
gonna be at, which is also interesting feeling because I'm

(10:16):
also the most confident in myself and my body that
I've ever been, which we have paradox because like, yeah,
like I'm just thinking, I'm like sitting with that a
lot and being like, Okay, I'm in a place where
I'm in my biggest and what right like and like

(10:38):
what someonould call I'm sure what some would say unhealthy,
And also like I feel like I feel like my
like I feel like my most like connected to or
the desirable, and we're not connected myself because I feel like,
I mean, I'm most desirable in some ways, but I
also know that I do want this body to change
because I know there are several factors in facting my health,

(10:59):
like my sleep, hottern, my stress level, like my nutritional
intake like those are the I know those have not
been good, Like I'm not I don't have a fair
receep schedule. I'm not sleeping like I keep fucking my
sleep up. I'm not like cooking in the ways I
used to, you know, I know, like my stress level
is high and so so it's like I'm simultaneously in

(11:22):
my best in my worst eras like in my work,
I'm in my best era, like I am thriving what
I'm doing. I think I'm part of a lot of
amazing change through the podcast, my my Mini five job,
Black Pride, and the fifty eleven other projects that I'm
working on. Like I feel like I'm thriving. I like
I make a great name for myself in my community,
like people like know and love me, and I feel

(11:43):
really connitcted to that, But my internal Steff is struggling
a lot, like I feel chaotic, often tired, and I
related chang things like my rumor's constantly mess has not
been cleaned. I'll for like a good like quarter honestly,
and I just have no desire to clean it. Like
I feel like things just keep having I can't. I
don't know how to take it out like I do.
I truly feel stuck in myself and I don't know

(12:06):
how to get out of this rut. Sometimes like I
get like like like like i'm I'm I'm like doing
therapy a bit more regularly, and it's and it's like
I am struggling with decision making. I'm struggling with being
like an enforcer on things like my own boundaries or
like regulations that we have in my in the work

(12:27):
that I do. And I'm struggling with like just movement,
just movement when I feel like stuck. And so it's
so it's it's been it's been a it's been a
it's been a interesting first half the half of the year.
It's also week I feel like at the beginning of
the year, I had so many thoughts of how I'm
gonna shift this, and now it's seven months. Then I'm like, well,

(12:48):
I've done nothing, girl.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
But I think I hear you. But I think, you know,
friend of friends, sister, the sister on the mic, I
think there's a part of sometimes that we kind of
just have to sit in what I like to call
the mess. And I'll say, like I know, for me personally,
twenty twenty two was that year for me. Like I
was not my best, I was not my healthiest, I
was not my wellest in twenty twenty two and then

(13:13):
a lot of different ways. And that's partly why I
got on mental health medication, was because I knew that
I was not I was not handling life personally, like
as a human, I was not handling it well. And
I think that, you know, And so now, even now
in twenty twenty five, I've even had to recognize that,
you know, a bitch needs help. And when I say that,

(13:34):
what I mean is, you know, I want to say
this not coming from a place of privilege, but from
a place of like, but you know, I do have
a double income, and I do work multiple I have
multiple streams, and so every once in a while I
can put money aside and say I'm gonna have someone
come in here and clean up this mess, you know,
do the deep cleaning, you know, put stuff away, throw

(13:54):
stuff away, Like I need to hire someone to help
me come clean out my garage. Like those are the
things that I'm doing, Like just kind of setting goals,
and I think that might be the thing that may
help you, you know, just kind of don't feel like
you have to all do it today, Joho, Like, I
think it might be good for you to just say,
let me set this really small baby goal for Joho

(14:15):
and then just to attain it, take it one day
at a time. But I hear you. I I understand
what it feels like to be like I'm all over
the place mentally, emotionally and it but I and I'm
thriving in this area. But this this moment is he yeah,
got mega.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
Got mega.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
Yeah, It's okay, you're human.

Speaker 3 (14:37):
Yeah, So let's just say in quarter three, I need
to make this my turning point because I just I
am like I'm I'm also like I'm quite tired of
feeling like this, I got you, especially when I I
want my internal self and my external self to match
each other and they're really they're deeply disconnected right now

(14:59):
to bectually really good positive abound ways. So I yeah,
I need, I need to send the mess I like
and and like I do. I do want a house one.
I think I think we're gonna have some one. I
want someone to come deep clean this place, like I
have to have like clean it up before they can
do that, and like that like that that's then the issue.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
Honestly, let's talk about it. You honestly don't. And I
think you think I have got to clean before the
cleaner clubs. No, sometimes the cleaner just going to see
the mess.

Speaker 3 (15:28):
I mean, but as the thing to go throw all out,
like who have to throw I gotta throw ship out?

Speaker 1 (15:34):
Like I get what you're saying, Yeah, I should.

Speaker 3 (15:36):
Like like I like, I don't need like I don't
need this male from six months ago to have my desk. Correctly,
I don't need this, but I'm like do I And
it's also a great realization of like when you have
a holder, like as a parent, and they like are
scarcity mental mentality and like and they taught you to

(15:57):
keep everything for no reason like that and like that
has sucked, Like and I have like one parents who
like has no problem throwing shit out, Like my mom
has no problem. She will be like the ship my
dad like this dude would keep this dude, he may
just keep our like four year old SEEO vinyl set
even though it was broken for like yeah, like for

(16:19):
like a decade, Like it wasn't that you die that
we threw alcoholate, We don't need this anymore, right and
so and so like scarcity based stuff is like all
of them in my body, and I'm like, I must
keep this mail because you never know who might the
irs might come to my house one day and say, hey,
are here. There be some male now and you can
go online.

Speaker 1 (16:34):
And then that's why I've been very much more comfortable
with just throwing stuff away, because I'm in the mind
of like, you know, a lot of even places, like
even people don't know this about Apple, Like there was
this whole thing for years where people were like, oh,
keep your Apple boxes because you may have to return
it or you may have to sell it. And a
lot of times people don't even care about the box
long as the cereal matches with Apple as the company,

(16:57):
they don't care. So and then same thing when you
take it back also the time they're like, oh, we
don't need the box.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
Just give us the problem.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
Yeah, uh huh yeah, just give us the problems.

Speaker 3 (17:06):
Fair. I mean, I feel back of my day, we
back the day we we did need the box, and
now they have electronics. So okay, let me come down
before I get too far on this. Now we have
done some self assessments. I've done a lot of self
assessing today. We don't want to get asked of ourselves
and we done something this bitch. We've done some self

(17:26):
as but I don't want to make an ass of ourselves.
Thus we are going to.

Speaker 4 (17:33):
Take a Sometimes sometimes you listen, y'all know you know
who wrote you know who wrote the outros.

Speaker 5 (17:43):
But this bitch is silly, take a moment to pay
these bills and comes out of the Calgary Is segment more.

Speaker 1 (18:06):
All right, ch'alls, So we are back with our category
is segment, and this week for the category y'all know
how I feel all roads always lead back to drag Race,
because we are talking about drag Race, but we're not
going to talk about it in the ways that you
probably think we're gonna talk about it. Right, While this
could be a standard what I liked about season ten,

(18:28):
what I didn't like about Season ten? I initially wanted
to talk about something that I have been thinking a
lot about. Specifically, folks have brought it up to me
as I was on my book tour, and ultimately you
can go by that now wherever you get your books.
Put all that to be said, Season ten was, so

(18:51):
I'll say this, there were a lot of moments in
season ten that I liked, more that I liked than
other seasons. But specifically, there were a couple of moments
that made me want to throw my Apple TV out
the window, and I I just I felt like we
really needed to kind of dissect those moments. And you
probably all know where we're going. You probably all know

(19:12):
what we're going to be talking about. So first, there
are two things that I wanted to say before we
get into kind of like a nuanced conversation. So first,
I wanted to say that this was Aja's redemption season,
and even though agreed, I don't think Aza ever really
needed a redemption because I think Aza has been great
every season that they've been on. I know their first

(19:34):
season they were it was a little rough, and it
was a little hard for them because they were in
the same season as Valentina, and everyone was comparing her
to Valentina, and it was all of these different things.
I still felt like Aja was a great, a great,
I just I think as fantastic. I loved her before,
and now this season made me love her even more.
I felt like the first season we saw her craft,

(19:57):
the first All Stars, we saw her kind of blossom,
and we also saw how mean the girls could be
to the girls who are starting to blossom. But this
season we really got to see Aja, and that's the
thing I really really loved is just you know, she's just.
It made me love her even even more. The next
thing I wanted to say is that while Ginger, Ginger

(20:18):
deserves everything. Obviously, a lot of folks were circulating this
notion of she's the only girl to win as many
lip syncs as she's won, like she's won consecutively. I
think ten or like eleven lip syncs. Actually, I think
it might even be twelve. Ginger has deserved. I want
to I want to make that very clear that this
is not a takedown of Ginger or any of the

(20:42):
other queens on this show, because I don't believe in that.
I believe Ginger has been that girl and will continue
to always be that girl. What I want to say
is I have a problem with and I think that's
what we're going to get into the idea that world
of One only saw her fit to be a queen

(21:04):
after she lost the weight, And that got me to thinking,
like this idea of like we've seen like it for
someone to win twelve lip syncs. You couldn't have given her,
You couldn't have given her a crown before this weight
loss thing. And so it just not to say that
that's what like. Again, I don't know the full scope

(21:25):
of what producer picked, what made, what producer made, what decision,
what conversations they were in with Rue, because I was
not in that room, But it looks fishy to me
as a big girl, that the moment that she comes
back six months later, almost one hundred pounds thinner, we
build a whole we build a whole storyline around that,

(21:49):
and then we crown her. It really just got me
to thinking how television, specifically shows like Drag Race continue
to perpetuate fat phobia in the LGBTQ community. And so
I wanted to kind of have a dual lens combo
with you. Obviously, I know you mentioned in the segment
before you're you know, you're saying, I'm in a bigger body.
I'm trying to figure out, you know, my space in

(22:12):
this body, and even for me, I'm I'm dealing kind
of with the flip, right I you know, I have
not been super public about it, but people know, people
around me know that I am on Ozimpic. I'm not
on Ozimpic because I'm trying to lose weight. I genuinely
do not care. I am still working out regularly, I
am still doing I'm doing everything that I was doing
prior to getting on Ozimpic. But I'm on Ozimpic because

(22:34):
I'm trying to keep my sugar together, which it helps with. Right.
My sugar is design right, my sugar is perfect. I
don't eat as much. And that's the thing that really
sucks is that the things that I love to eat
I truly cannot eat. I'm not I'm not picking and
choosing to not eat things. That's my body is genuinely
not responding to the things that I enjoy eating, and

(22:56):
so I've stopped eating them. But I sail of this
to say with me out quote unquote as a no
Zimbic user, right, and and and and even battling this
this the guilt of people clocking me and saying, oh, John,
you look slimmer, and being like thanks, Like I don't
I that's like having to tell people up front that's
not a compliment. That's something That's how I've been battling

(23:19):
kind of this, this this thing because I know people
notice that I'm losing weight, and I'm having to like
battle that and let people know, like, hey, I don't
I don't see weight loss as a compliment to me.
So thanks, but no thanks and and and having that.
But I really wanted to get onto this notion of like,
what has been your experience with fat phobia? Like, because
I know we talked about it in other facets on

(23:40):
this show, but I don't think that we've really like
we've never anchored it in a conversation. So I think
I would love to talk about fat phobia, maybe how
you felt it, how you feel it, and then think
about how, like RuPaul's draggery specifically this season has driven
maybe the fat phobia or the feelings that we have
about our own bodies. After seeing two separate instances on

(24:04):
this season of people losing weight in it being like
louden and celebrated.

Speaker 3 (24:09):
Yeah, so I feel like I want to hard a
little bit t to us earlier, like because I said,
like I like I said was my biggest and I
said I want my body to change, and I didn't
say like I particularly want to lose weight or not
lose weight, And I want to really clearly right, listeners
are like, why I said that? Because I said, like
either several pactices impacting my health, my sleep hider and

(24:30):
nuicracial intake and like blah blah blah. But I never
say like my weight impacts my health because that's not
the of the language I'm trying to use. Because even
at my lowest and two years ago, I was at
my lowest way ever like like and like and and
I was at quantqu like my health. It's in terms
of my numbers were all great, like guy was still
a well and don't purposes and no beast person. I
was still like I was still I was still a

(24:51):
big girl, and so like I have no I actually
have no desire for thinness. I don't desire thinness. I don't.
Right then this is gonna be the transaction that I
need my life to have sa about myself, you know,
and and and and My point is I want to
change things. I want to change my body in the
way that I'm treating it. So I'm not treating it
well with my lack of sleep, my like my lack

(25:11):
of like proper attention.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
Of making what you're saying, Yeah, I want to.

Speaker 3 (25:16):
Talk about that what people because I want to say, like, like,
fat phobia does bully people into being fit, yep, it
often does. Fat Phobia blows people into seeking seeking ways
like medically to change their bodies that then may end
up hating in the future. I mean, I I don't
ever want phobia to believe into anything, right, so like

(25:37):
so so so like if and when my body changes,
it's not it won't because fat phobia is believing. Like
it's because I I feel like I need to changes,
like for my like for my own just like well
being and like and my body will likely still be
a big body and so like people need to really
accept that. I think my relationship to fat phobia has

(25:59):
changed of the years, for sure, because part of me
believes that confidence is actually everything. Sometimes, like you never
talk about this over text other day, right like let
let let like when you love yourself, people notice, and
so people are generally more drawn to you when you're
feeling yourself no, like no matter your size and like
a lot of times, pat phobia right gives you a

(26:20):
negative sense of self and false sense of self. So
not only do they hate fat people, but they also
like make you easier to feel targeted or to feel
attacked because you don't because you don't like feel.

Speaker 1 (26:30):
It's how dare you? How dare you? Like your body?
How dare you?

Speaker 3 (26:34):
But the right if they say how do you? How
do you? And then you also believe it and like
and like like when when you believe it is when
fat phobia wins right through like through through through a
social lens. Fat fobia also wins would come to like
like buying seats in theaters or atlantickets right like fat
will be wins again in that way because it's actually

(26:55):
not made for your body and you have to fight,
like how do I fit in this? Or if I
it's more comfortable for me?

Speaker 1 (27:02):
Right?

Speaker 3 (27:02):
You know? And so so I you know, so like
I think it's like people. So I think people are
more drawn to you when you're feeling yourself out of
your size, but and some people are definitely more likely
to try and peg you down, but your confidence can't
shake in that. So I don't think that phobia has
kept me from making many friendships in my adult life.
But I also acknowledge that like like like like not

(27:24):
like not to like be like like not to brack
not to be like none that talk my ship, but
like I knowledge that I'm kind of a ten in personality,
Like I just I know I am personality out of
ten and like like answer for fat folks who may
be more shy, right, like maybe it feels different for
folks for folks who don't have who like who don't
feel that way about themselves, Like maybe it feels different
for them. I think it depends on what community you
live in, Like fat Fubby and San Diego well may

(27:46):
have stifferly than fat Fubb and who or Scisco or
Texas or any other stories.

Speaker 1 (27:50):
Say that, say because that's like that, because because like
like I do not love the WIHO gays, like there's
there's not my type of gaze. Those gay say they
can hurt me, they cannot, But I literally like you guys,
y'all not not all but like not to be general,
but like manys like I cannot stand and you know
and you know and but against and I might say

(28:12):
that might be a bit biased because I made a
little bit like a name for myself here in San
Diego too, so people like see me and respect me
for like who I am, what I do. But I
said that I feel it urdering large events. When we
get tourists here right like when like when we get
tourists here from other other stage board across the state,
I'm like, oh that the fat food is persisting because
these people are coming in from their own cities with

(28:32):
like with their continuations, like I like like like at
like a proabaken. There was this guy who was not
from San Diego, who like who was definitely being a
little bit not this gay, but go off, I'm sorry
that was just fun too rowdy with me.

Speaker 3 (28:49):
Uh and now and now I was like, baby, I'm
the one of the two because like you don't know
who I am. That's fully fine, but like here and
like like not like but like not that I'm somebody
something like like here you like I'm beloved by no
no like.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
To do pause pause. What we're not gonna do is
take away the fact that you are a local celebrity,
so that the reality is, bitch, this is not your home,
This is not your house.

Speaker 3 (29:15):
But in this house you are a guest girl. So
you need to you need to calm down, like you
are a guess in that house. Okay, says if like
like like like if like if you like get the
fun about my house. If you don't repect my house.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
House, get the fuck up out my house? Who let
these goons all in my house? That is the title
of this episode. Who these are my house?

Speaker 3 (29:38):
So I feel it more than or it definitely manifest
what comes to dating, right, Like, I get a lot
of d L people. Unfortunately, sometimes some deal trade how
you're doing or open relationships who want to engage actually
like mine, but may me not actively date, which is
also how matapes right. And I just saw I just saw,
like what's my comfortability with this? Like like like like

(30:00):
like do I say, like it's actually okay that like
that people just want to fuck or is it doesn't
make me feel sort of tip away? And and you
and also like there are people who do want to date,
but who do want to have to bet date Like
it's like mine, I'm seeing that too, and I'm dating
those people versus like only accepting like sex from this person.
And it makes it like in my case like like
like like I'm I don't want sex, not like I

(30:22):
don't want sex not that way from people like like
all the video dudes are trying who are trying it
into me and trying to get in me like I
just like, thank you and I appreciate it, but like
I don't, like, I don't need to be doing that,
Like I want to be with somebody who wants to
be with me publicly, and that's the person and that's
the people people I'm seeing. So I think the way
I feel like that drag Races something that impacts this

(30:44):
one is because whether we love or I hate it,
many of us watch drag race. And I'm not saying
that drag race is what drives fatphobia, because that's because
that that's not true. Right. There's always been biggers on
the show and big girls in our in our community,
but I think drag races part in this is those girls,
those big girls have always had to be exceptional and
they have seen as underdogs too in some way, which

(31:06):
I don't think it's fair, because why do big girls
have to be surprisingly good? Right, Like everyone's like surprised
they're good. Like Ginger Midge, despite her passeant try, her
passion background, was an underdog in her first in her
first season, she wasn't her and in her all star season, right,
but she's real no no no. Despite her background and
her time that she's had right. So these are those

(31:28):
are folks that like right like have no matter what,
no matter what accolades acticherly that they have, people are
still like surprised by them being good because they're big girls,
because they because they have to be exceptional to be
seen as something. Right. Then then people hold you up
to their standards, right like are you as funny as
the trees or ginger? Are you as shady as Mistress

(31:49):
Isabelle Brooks? Then becomes a comparison because God forbid, God forbid,
a fat bitch isn't funny or bullies you for your
for your for your right right, they're just God the
godfriend bitch, just being fat bitch and just thought it
wants to be there. I wrote this. I wrote this
a few years ago in where Your Voice magazine when
it was around r ip Worrir Voice magazine, about what

(32:10):
I called it's called the fat funny syndrome, Like, as
a fat person, you have to be funny to be
seen as a real or worthy person. For anything that
you want, you have to be seen as funny. But
I didn't write about it's the flip side of this coin.
If you're not funny, then you have to be a
bully to be see now, I don't want to perpetuate
this binary in some ways. In some ways, I think

(32:30):
it's actually been enforced on fat bodies. I don't think
it's actually been our decision to participate in this, like,
I think it is more about it's been enforced upon
us that the world is like, if you're fat, you
have to be to be funny or a bully for
someone to see you take you seriously in life. Right now,
I had to iving to really check myself on my
performing in public. Like, am I trying to validate myself

(32:51):
as a fat person to take out space by being
extra funny? Right? Or can I just take up to
space and Heney because I deserve too? And I think
you you know, and and I think I think like like,
I think it was interesting seeing Mistress in this season
right because uh in her like in her first bracket

(33:13):
she was a big girl. In her second marcket she
was a much smaller girl and and people and like
it became part of it became part of like a
running joke in some ways too. And I mean Mistress,
I feel like I I I think she is like
one of the most polished drag queens. Ever, I really
do like I love her drag. I think she I

(33:38):
think she is Gorgina. I think she is probably as
a drag person, she's you cannot say she's not polished
in drag.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
My mom taught me that when I have nothing, say nothing.
I don't say nothing at all. But I think, but
I think as a competitive.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
As a competitor, I think she is a bully and
she she she she clouds it and like shade and
being fine and having a key. But like that moment
where she went ha ha's ear about right text you
about redemption season. If I was a oh driving to

(34:16):
be a contact sport on site.

Speaker 1 (34:18):
I would have they would have had to remove me.

Speaker 3 (34:20):
They would have had to remove me, robbed me by
my hair to pull me out of that place because
I was smack that bitch down and she pulled my hair.
She took me ha ha. I know, and yeah, kinder
than I.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
She will always be You're doing to old star in
my book, because that is a moment that made me respect.

Speaker 3 (34:40):
She was even said she said, like two years ago
me was smacked a hold down, but me today say
it's not said girl, because I would I would have
pulled that bitch by her teeth and said do it again.

Speaker 1 (34:52):
Oh yeah, yea.

Speaker 3 (34:55):
I or you or or you were d o a
to me, Like I cannot just like yeah and so
and so I think, you know, I think like she
is when I feel right And then the and and
people joke that when you lose weight, you aren't funny,
and like if you're fin you were't funny anymore. True, right,
you become a bigger bully, right, and like and so

(35:17):
like you know, you know, I was watching the episode
where the episode where she was like like where she
was where they were like congratus, like when they listened
to did a good job, and she was like thanks
so much of my amazing and then looked at the
camera the whole time where she was having like some
like weird odd not that which I don't know if
she was serious or it was good TV whatever, but like,
you know, I was watching with a group of fat

(35:38):
folks and we're all and we're all saying, like it's
annoying because like she is good, but now she's like
leading in more to the bully aspect, and so I
so and so and so it's like can like can
we can we taket space as fat people as well
without being a bully? Which need to tell My question
for you, like, what are your thoughts on the portrayals
of fat people as villains in this television?

Speaker 1 (36:01):
Especially? Yeah, you know, I I love that we were
able to get here because I think about a lot
of characters who are you know, chubby, thick, whatever you
want to call them, right, But I want to say
my thoughts connect, but they don't connect. But I think
about like so for instance, like my first real visual

(36:21):
of a fat villain was Ursula right in Little Mermaid,
and I never thought about, you know, this idea of
her being evil was really linked to this idea that
she was a fat sea witch, right, and so this
idea of like even from a young age, Disney was
telling me don't be fat, you know, don't be fat

(36:43):
or you'll be considered evil. And you know then then
so so and again this idea that most, if not all,
people who are bigger are framed is evil in some
regards through media, right, and even in moments where I've
seen them try to take you know, the way out
of the equation. And and and like you said, it
goes back to your point of they're less, they're less, Like,

(37:05):
so I think about this so like I'm in this moment.
It's not it's not in our notes, But I think
about this film. I don't know the name of this film,
but I kept getting it on my Instagram. It was
being marketed to me and it was about this you
know fat man or this fat act. You know this
actor he's a chubbier actor falling in love with a
skinny person. And it was a film that came out

(37:26):
and I kept seeing the ads for it, and even
in that I had to like step back and think
about it and being like, well, what are they trying
to say in this film? And even though I know
he was part of he the person who was who
was in the role as a part of the writing
of the film, there still is this notion that even
for him as a fat person, he could not just
find love because of who he was. It was, Oh,
I am a fat person who doesn't deserve love, but

(37:47):
I found love and so look at me, yay, And
so like, there's always something to be said around the
way our bodies are framed, and so specifically when you're
talking about you know, this villain era or this villain piece, right.
I think about the way that they framed Eureka in
her season, and I'll be transparent and saying I've never
really cared for the bitch because she's racist. And I

(38:08):
say all of that to say if you don't if
you think I'm just saying that to say that, go
google it. You can find it. It's there. You know,
there are things that she has said and done in
the past that have made me go I don't necessarily
see it for her. I really still to this day
think that she owes the villain an apology for the
way that she you know, the Vixen. Sorry, I think
that she owes the Vixen an apology for the way

(38:29):
that she treated her during her season. But I don't
really want to get too deep into that. But what
I will say is that I can say that two
truths exists at the same time. They literally, and I
say they meaning the producers. I am almost certain that
they were telling Eureka amp it up, amp it up,
amp it up because they knew it made the TV,

(38:50):
but also because Eureka was the big girl of her
season and they knew Eureka was going to, you know,
create that moment to be the villain, right, and so
it just it just it really I won't say it painsky,
but it really irks me. That's the word. I think
irk is a good word that chubby people, regardless off,

(39:12):
they're just they're just they're just being themselves some way,
somehow they are they you know. So I'll even say
that it gets more complicated when we add in brownness
and blackness to the mix. Right, So thinking about like
Silky and the experience Silky had on her season, right,
Silk couldn't just be a very talented queen out the gate.
They were saying, Oh, Silky is loud, Silky is this

(39:33):
Silky is that?

Speaker 3 (39:34):
Right?

Speaker 1 (39:34):
And so it just there, there's just this unwritten thing
that I feel like, even not even just all competition shows,
it's not even just drag race. When there is a
fat girl or a big girl on the show, they
have to be snarky or quirky, and they have to
be really cute and they have to be likable. And
it's also that way people don't see their size, right,

(39:57):
and then if they're not, then like you said, they
fall in to this like very you know, I can
I can throw jabs at the best of them, and
I can you know it's it's just ugly. It's just
really ugly.

Speaker 3 (40:07):
We have to be non threatening, like we like like
we have to be make so small, be non threatening
to other people, or we risk like like like like
or be risking names the villain or bull door like
or like or the bulldozer. And I think about being loud, right,
It's like we will always ask questions like why are
you so loud? And never never asked a question of

(40:28):
like what did the world do to make it like
you had to be loud to be heard? We never
have to question never we never a question of like why,
like like why the world try and sallence you so much?
So you had to be loud, right, like.

Speaker 1 (40:40):
You have to be the loudest person in the room,
like and and in some paces, it's like like being
loud isn't bad, like being loudly is bad.

Speaker 3 (40:47):
I'm like I'm working, like working through a present like
a president. I'm seeing a guy who like is louder
than me, and I'm and like it's shocking, I'm allowed ask, bitch,
he's out of the mean. I'm having to like work
through my own experience like my like the real time
of like oh like like like like what's my issue
with with him being loud? Right? Like what's my actually
like what's actually is it that he's like is it

(41:09):
that he's too loud? Or is it that like or
is it like I think my level lowed is the
acceptable a lot And I feel like his isn't. And why
is that right? Because the question isn't why is he
a loud? The question is the question actually is why
do I think my level a lot is acceptable? In
his is not. That's why I interrogate myself and so
I think like like I you know, I I I
think I think like you're absolutely right, Like fat people

(41:31):
are giving the villain edit in many things, right, like
how how many fat villains are there? You have Jab
of the Hut from Star Wars, you have Doctor Eggman
from so At the Hedgehog, you have like like you
you have yeah, you have that fucking that that fucking
giant michelin michelin Man goes from Ghostbusters like all the
villains are pad piction just for some reason, because because

(41:54):
like one because like it's is that fun or funny
to people to like make people of the villain. Is
that fun to like take us down, right, and like
and and and like Ursa right, Ursula, Like, I think
Ursa's a really great a great case study of like
when we used to be fat and be a villain
because like and you that used to be like dizzey

(42:16):
hate because I saw as like Ursa is so queer coded,
Like she's so queer coded.

Speaker 1 (42:20):
Oh and she is, and she.

Speaker 3 (42:22):
Like she like she like she's like she's a big girl.
But like her being like a big girl wasn't like
and I'm watching a long time, like her being a
big girl was was like was like never part of
the equation or problem for her. She was just a
sea witch. You also like wanted to castell some people
and like cause havoc, right and I and I'm sure
people were like, oh, like she's a big girl, so
she thought mathlely mean or rude, which I think is horrible,

(42:45):
like but like it also sounds like she just wants
to be like seen and chared for and protected, right,
like like she was outcast for being a sea witch.
And it's like, well maybe she was an outcast being
a sea witch. She wouldn't want to steal it she
didn't want to do Ario's voice right, like, like people
are people just the question that I have is why
are you evil? And none asked a question what happened

(43:07):
to you that made me?

Speaker 1 (43:08):
What made you evil?

Speaker 3 (43:11):
No one asked that question at all. And I'm like, Yanni,
we need to think more critically together as people and
stop like it stopped. It's up actually, like stop asking,
like stop asking about the symptom and ask about the
cause because the symptom because like like you're tractress a
symptom that isn't like you are going to find the
answer to that symptom because you aren't looking at the
cause that that's something the first place. And so I

(43:32):
wish people would like really think about that when it
comes to how fat folks are painted in television, right,
And I think and with drag Race, I think, like
it's just like it's just so easy one and and
the day it's like it makes good TV. And like
the formula of drug Race or any reality show is
they want to make good TV.

Speaker 1 (43:54):
They want something people are going to keep watching. They
want to come.

Speaker 3 (43:56):
Back to make for X y Z and so like
and like and they like there are some big girls
who are in on the joke too. And I have
no problem the big girls who are in on the
joke too, But get the big girls agency and and
like and and and have they're own edit, right, like like,
let let them be the villain because they actually want
to be a villain. Let them don't ma, don't make
don't made them the lead beat just because like you

(44:17):
don't agree with them, or because they're like to get
too much space. Oh yeah, That's what I'm thinking a
lot about sokey because I feel like, like I figure
people people thought people saw Soks villain, well they also
there's a cart time I play with her first season
when she came out, I was looking republican. It was

(44:39):
a bit it was a bit wild, and I like
I understood her thought process as to why that, and
and I was like, you know, there's some seekers. I
just said to the grave, like, no, one never needs
to know that.

Speaker 1 (44:50):
Maybe we don't get there were a get there.

Speaker 3 (44:53):
You have to explain your thought process to me, girl,
I do I do not. I do not think it's
worth to bring up on the show.

Speaker 1 (45:00):
Everything needs to be public.

Speaker 3 (45:03):
Yeah, And so I think like that's what was probably
why her villain you know, and like, and she was loud,
but like, but I'm like, what was she loud to?
Was she just asking for what she deserves? Like, well,
she's just asking what she deserved. Was she actually allowed
to obnoxious? Or was she just saying I want to
be seen as competitor too, and like a worthy competitor,
like fucking ready, bitch that right out.

Speaker 4 (45:31):
To this day because I'm like a girl, like what,
like I get, like, what was the reason you went
to art?

Speaker 3 (45:41):
Okay? Yeah, anyways, so my I guess, like my real
question with you. I was trying to ask this because
I don't like, do we think RU has beef for
the big girls?

Speaker 1 (45:55):
Yes, but I will say this, So I'm gonna say this,
and I know we can. I know we need to.
We have to, we have to get. What I will
say is this, I think we are all inherently fat
phobic to some degree, even the big girls, right, we
are all tall, and it is like it's just the same.
It's the same way we're discriminatory, even if we're trying

(46:16):
not to be right, Like we have to wake up
every day saying I'm going to be less discriminatory. It's
the way that transphobia is beat into our heads and
we have to we have to, we have to undo
the transphobia that way, So we're all inherently something and
I think to a degree we are all inherently fat phobic.
And it is heightened when you are queer, right, And
so I think about it the way I think about it,

(46:38):
And again, not everyone may see it this way, but
this is how I've processed it. You can't control your race, right,
we get we don't get a choice on the hue
of our color. We can't. Some of us can, but
most of us can't. Write where when you're black, you're black?
You know there are we all know that, right. You
can't control your queerness, whether you tuck it away or
whether you engage it. Right, you're still queer in some

(46:59):
facet and so that's something you can't You can't control
if you have moved into the notion of this is
who I am. But you can control your size, at
least that's what the world tells you, and that's what
the community wants you to believe. And so in order
to be accepted and deemed fuckable, you have to exhibit
anything that's desirable. And I think that's what's that's the

(47:23):
ugliness and the really damning part of it. We live
at the Crux. We work at the Crux.

Speaker 3 (47:29):
Right.

Speaker 1 (47:29):
So even going back to like, let's go back to
black Fat fem Right as a show, the idea that
it took us so long, Like I initially started this
deck or this idea for this show in twenty eighteen.
It did not get sold until twenty twenty one. And
I've said this and I will keep saying this because
I want people to know a lot of people love
the idea. When I told them, oh, the show was black. Oh,

(47:51):
everyone was like, yes, we love a black coded show.
When I told them that it had queen oh Sleigh
bitch like Queen Da Da da Da. But the idea
when I put fat in the title and that I
wanted to center this notion of being fat and being
happy about my size, that's when people started being like,
there's no market for it. We don't have anywhere to market,
we don't know the clientele, we don't know the people

(48:14):
who would listen to a show where blackness, fatness and
queerness are celebrated. Right, And so it's this notion that
we live at. We live at the center of a
world that doesn't see fatness as profitable, that doesn't see
fatness as And again, I don't say profitable in a
positive way. I say profitable in the sense of capitalism,

(48:36):
because we all know capitalism is the bane of everybody's existence.

Speaker 3 (48:40):
It's if they can't exploit it.

Speaker 1 (48:43):
If they can't explain. And that's the thing. When you
are a fat person and you say you're not going
to exploit me, then that's when producers and people like
RuPaul have a problem with you. Right. It's the same
reason why don't I've stopped being asked to write articles, right,
even after publishing a book that has sold close to
three thousand copies. People don't want me writing about my joy.

(49:06):
People don't want me writing about this idea of Oh,
I love myself and I like myself. Right, And that's
partly why I also believe it's not a New York
but you know, a New York Times bestseller, because my
book is not about the degradation of my body and
the way I see myself. It's about me telling other
black fat fems or other people in general who are
of size that they can like and love who they

(49:28):
are too, and so I think that's what RuPaul has
a problem with. I think RuPaul has a problem with
the idea of like I think it's an exploitation issue, right,
we can't we can't get good TV out of a
fat girl who's not funny or is not a villain.
And so because Ginger and so again, I'm not saying
that this was the thing, but this is where I'm saying,

(49:50):
and this is where i'mnna leave it. I want to know.
I would love to sit down with both Mistress, even
though I'm not a fan and Ginger, I want to
make that very clear that I am not a fan
of this stresses the Bellbrooks. We can get into that
a different day because we're already we're already very close
to time. But what I will say is this, I
would love to sit down and talk to them and

(50:10):
ask them how many times they were told that their
career wouldn't go the way they wanted to go if
they if they didn't lose weight, and to see that
what that correlation was to them, you know, and I'm
sure they'll have Oh, I wanted to be healthier, I
wanted to do Okay, girl, cut the bullshit. How many
times did a producer or did somebody on a television

(50:33):
show tell you or somebody in entertainment tell you that
you couldn't be successful at your size? And I would
love to see what I would love to be able
to sit down from a true and again this is
also me popping my shit from a true qualitative narrative,
you know, flat footed research standpoint. I would love to

(50:54):
know what their stories are, and I would love to
know how many times RU stepped in and said you're
doing a great job being yourself, You're a great or
if RU had something to do with that. And I
already know that. I'm pretty sure somebody from World of
Wonder knows who I am and knows how to talk
a lot of shit about the show, So I'm almost
certain that they'll probably never ever have anything to do

(51:15):
with you. So that's why I talk so freely about
how much I have an issue with them as a
production company. I believe that they are fueling or that
they have had something to do with the idea that
these girls felt the need to take six months off
and do whatever they needed to do to lose weight.
It just something about that bugs me, And like I said,

(51:36):
I know for a fact that it started somewhere in
drag race. I know it in the bottom of my
heart that that's where it came from. And so it's
just ugly. It's really ugly to me. And as much
as I like RuPaul for I wouldn't say I like
RuPaul that I'm grateful for what RuPaul has done for us,

(51:59):
for the queer community. Blah blah blah blah blah, et cetera,
et cetera, et cetera. I still have a lot of
beef with her because my thing becomes you can't celebrate
one facet of the queer community and then beat up
and treat the other part of that community like shit.
And that's what I feel like we do to fat
girls in our community. I feel like we tell them, Oh,

(52:20):
love yourself, love who you are, be who you are. Okay, Well,
who I am as a big girl is somebody who
likes the size of my body. Oh you're ugly, You're
you're not lovable, You're not datable, right because you're because
you're because you're a bigger sized person. Well, where's the
truth in that? Do you do you really want me
to be myself? Or do you want me to be

(52:40):
what you want me to be. And that's the that's
the issue that I have so so so fragrantly. So
I hope that made sense because I felt like I
was talking all over the place. But it's just it's
it's really it's really damning to me, and I know,
I know we need to Yeah, do do you have
anything else you want to add? Nope? Yeah, okay, y'all.

(53:02):
But anyway, now that we have officially been banned from
World of Wonder or doing anything with RuPaul's drag Race,
which anything with drag Race, which I know they turn
this show or every time, and I swear a god
if they mentioned us, I swear a god. If they

(53:23):
mentioned us, they probably said, we're probably probably marks of
this episode. I'm not going to but I I just
I know that they probably hate to see it coming.
But anyway, with.

Speaker 3 (53:35):
That, we never never I'm hi, I look, I love
to be a guest show. And they'd be like, oh,
you don't.

Speaker 1 (53:49):
That panel sitting next It's that I will ever be
on that panel sitting next to Ts Madison. It will
never Ross Matthews probably don't see it for me, I'm
sure I will never be ever Anyway, we're gonna take
a break and cut back on more show.

Speaker 3 (54:12):
All right, fam, we are blacked. So for this week,
we're gonna keep this beast level on inferno by diving
into pop culture streets. For this What's Popping, We're gonna
ask the age old question when is information too much information? Why?
So for those of you who are queer and live
under a rock, which I mean isn't many of us
were chronically online. We're talking about Laverne Cox today and

(54:34):
her sharing online that she did a MAGA man for
three years who was also a cop in New York
I think in New York, right, an YPD cop, yeah,
which I mean is also like build different. I know
we have thoughts, and I know I know you had
some great thoughts off the air that I want I
thought would be good for us to share here, and
so we'll have a little we'll have a little back

(54:55):
and forth about our thoughts about this because Johnna often
we made jos on the show about things should just
be inside yourself, right or in the group chat message
like you never leave, never leave your phone, or like
your brain just say just stay inside. And I also
I get why she did this, right, because she's promoting
her show, and she's like, want the full story, come

(55:16):
to my show that she's in her her stand up show.

Speaker 1 (55:21):
Oh she's doing stand up. See I didn't get that,
but go off.

Speaker 3 (55:24):
She's yes, she's up. So she's also like she's like come,
She's like, you want to hear more, come to my show.
So and I and I've been and I was saying John, like,
I've been fascinated by the response from the dolls, the
response from other queer people in response on the streets. Now,
like I want to first, I'm never going I am
never going to tear down about girl. I never I'm

(55:49):
never never a trans girl. I'm nevern never a block
trans girl. Like in the day, I don't have I
don't have the life experience. So like and then they
like I want to be really mindful of and and
and I also I refrain often from tearing down folks
in my in my community because the world is against
us anyways. I will happily collect a girl privately, but

(56:10):
I like I will be I'm not trying to tear
her down as many people are, right like, because part
of me actually wants to understand, like and the em
part of me as I trying to like. I also
think there's a level in which like so so so
like people are mad. People were like, girl, I mustn't
follow her. I can't look at her anymore. She's betrayed

(56:31):
me in the word that she's done between her community
and like.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
Tragically, y'all a lot of the friends you have are
still sleeping.

Speaker 3 (56:41):
But go off. I was, I was like, tragedy, she
owes you nothing like that. Unfortunately, like she owes you nothing,
let me first say, it would not be my news.
It wouldn't be my news, Like I would never do that,

(57:02):
like if I found out it could be if I
found out that women are saying as a as a
modus supporter. Now I'm like, I'm so sorry, but like,
my values just do not align, even if the dick
is the best dick in my life, not for me, vibes,
I have to go.

Speaker 1 (57:16):
I don't think we can even get to that point though.
I mean, so say, for instance, if you're right, because
like I'm found out, we couldn't do it anymore.

Speaker 3 (57:26):
Yeah, but like, but but the thing, if I'm dating you,
I'll probably know what your posits are before before we
f So I'm like so not for me, but and
then you and like who's to saying that they have
fun like that? No one knows, right, Like I don't know.
I don't know the delationship, so it wouldn't be my news.
And if it ever was, that should stay in the
group chat. If anything, that should say on signal that's

(57:47):
that's encrypted information encrypted, you're not saying this and what
what side? Not what's because that people can look in
there too. It's gonna be oh, damn okay, crypt like
so so yeah, and so I'll start with that. And
also I like people are met her for it, and
I get why people are upset, but I do have

(58:11):
a question of why do you up why do you
hold a trans woman up to such a standard that
like oftentimes lovingly you and your friends aren't meeting yourself.
Really she should be the public eye. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
I understand that. So I think, like, if you should
be a public eye, you are held to high a critique.
I understand that for sure. And also like I think

(58:37):
people need to like like like who you sleep with,
like whether you want to or not, y'all, it actually
like does not it doesn't always have to reflect yours
the person like I do I love that she didn't? No?
Like do I love it? No? If she was my
friend not in life? Right, I'll be like, girl.

Speaker 1 (58:57):
Baby, I implore you.

Speaker 3 (58:59):
To stop telling people that, like like like, at best,
I employ you to stop. At worst, I employ you
to not tell say this out loud, like you have
to say like as your friend, I'll take you as
you are. At best, just stop it. At worst, just
talk about it with anybody, like don quiet luxury girl.

Speaker 1 (59:24):
Keep I can't.

Speaker 3 (59:26):
I cannot, I cannot do it.

Speaker 1 (59:28):
What's the name of that that brand? There's a quiet
luxury brand that everybody's always promoting on the podcast spots
of the show quin Quick Luxury Quick.

Speaker 3 (59:39):
Spots of the Yeah, and you know, but like but
I think there is we have to interrogate what like
how we make trans women like the end all be
all Like we know that women have often been our saviors,
but like we like like we don't have to hold
them to like to the to the center of like
like like like we like we're all flawed human people.

(01:00:00):
Amen le burn coxes politics and activism like does not
end because she slept with this because she was with
with this guy. I also like some people have hot
thought and commentary of like like like does she like
like does she feel not as worthy? Right like like
or like like was being with a white man? Her
idea of being with the pinnacle what it means to

(01:00:22):
be with somebody? And like maybe so right like you know,
like like like her like she used the words like
blonde hair, blue whye like hot man right like maybe
she maybe she maybe she got swept up and like
we all have to interrogate our own politics internally and externally.
But I don't like, I don't like when people people
are like this is this is the staff in the

(01:00:42):
face to like like to like our community. I'm sorry,
but like were you supporting her when she was on
the throw time magazine? Were like like like we were
you here? Were you hert.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
Was you there?

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
Like was you there? Were you? Like? Like were you
being her off when she was not orange new when
she was to be seen? Like like did you hate
her on disclosure? Like she still has done good work
and I know I know people hate to leave it
like she said to work that actually does that she
means something to like two folks to transfers to the
queer community, like she has still fought and in many ways, right,

(01:01:17):
I haven't heard much. I haven't heard much of her
like in the past three years, like you know, and
like and maybe she lives like I've known for like
a decade she has done work in the community, like
and I like, I don't want to track from that
at all. Right, he has a decision that she made
and and and part of me parts like y'all, y'all
didn't know this for three years. So so so it's

(01:01:38):
like like, so listen, Like she did a good job
hiding it from from from from from everybody. Right, She's
like like like yeah, like no one.

Speaker 1 (01:01:48):
Knew something like that. I hate no one knew, like
no one, no one knows. Yeah, I know everybody's business
and I didn't even.

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
Know, right, So she you know, she said she like
m m harmy is like so so for me is
like okay, but you then, like did you not say
anything because you knew it would challenge repretation? And like right,
and like what what led you to say it? Now?
Is it for the for the gimmick of how people
come to your show?

Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
Is it?

Speaker 3 (01:02:15):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (01:02:16):
The marketing public publicists will always say even bad even
bad precess good press. Yeah, any any bad press is
good perce. So this is, this is my thoughts, This
is what I have to say on this, myself included.
I'm gonna go ahead and disclose the idea that back
in my heyday, you know, before I got married, I

(01:02:39):
hooked up with a lot of d M men in
the past, and I even dated one before I met
my now husband of fifteen years. And it took me
meeting Jonathan to know that I deserved more than what
I was allowing myself as a queer person to have.
What I want to say, and this is that, this is,
this is what I feel about the whole lavern of

(01:02:59):
it all. Folks can feel how they want to feel.
Folks can feel be in their feelings about it. And oh,
you know, she purported this thing and now she's doing
okay whatever. Sometimes and I'll say some times in the
work when in Euston, sometimes some of us don't see
ourselves as being worthy of what's at our front door, right,

(01:03:25):
And so I took meeting It took meeting Jonathan for
me to know that I deserved more than what I
was allowing myself as a queer person to have. So
I share that not to shame anyone who likes the trade. Hey,
if that's your journey, that's your journey. Right, But we
have to remind ourselves that the world often tells us,

(01:03:45):
and I say us collectively as a queer people, that
one we shouldn't even exist. Right, we're in a place
now where they're wanting to get rid of us in
whatever way that they can, or what they're trying to
put the kebash on our rights in all of these things. Right,
So you go further than that, right, we live in
a world where being a black trans woman, you're being
told take what you can get, get what you can get, right,

(01:04:10):
And so for her, And again I don't know the
full story, but what I'm saying is, and I'm not
in New York to be able to go see this place,
so I can't tell you. But I'm just saying I know,
and I'm sure that we could talk about this for hours,
about the ways that the world has told us we
only deserve so much. Right, how many of you still
talk to your MAGA family so you don't feel alone?

(01:04:32):
How many of you stayed in relationships that have run
its course? Because we know that the dating pool is
Lake Lanier right, we decide to stay because of how
quote unquote easy it is for us to just say, well,
I already have something. I don't want to have to
fight for better or I don't feel like I can
do any better. And I'm not just talking relationships. I'm

(01:04:54):
sure there are friends that we have that we know
we need to cut off. Jobs, we know we need
to to leave apartments, homes, things, we need to sell,
all of that. But what I'm saying is I'm not
throwing I'm not throwing shade. I mean, I mean I
even think about, like half of us, haven't we still
even have there there are memberships we still have that

(01:05:16):
we haven't canceled, right just to say we have them? Right,
I just I think we need to like think the
thing for me and all of this is empathy.

Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:05:25):
We have to understand the story under the story, and
so for her to date some so my thing becomes
did you? And again we don't know the full story either.
I haven't listened to the full I haven't listened to
the full thing. But we don't know does she date
this man? Not knowing he was maga right, he probably
just said I'm a police officer. She probably said, Okay,
I can get past that. You start to get to

(01:05:45):
know this person, you start to like this person, and
then they hit you with oh I'm also MAGA, and
you're like, fuck, well I'm already in it, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:05:52):
What I mean?

Speaker 1 (01:05:52):
Like I you know, it would be like me learning
that you're a Taylor Swift fan after knowing you for
ten years, Like do I do I end my podcast?
Would Joe because he's a Taylor Swift fan. I'm just saying,
you know what I'm saying, that's that's the game that's
been played here. We don't know the full story, and
so I mean, hell yeah, I would say, okay, everybody,

(01:06:15):
thank you so much for coming to BFF the show.
We can no longer.

Speaker 3 (01:06:21):
You live with me through my Android face. You would
live me through my Swift face too, girl, don't play.
Don't play still right right?

Speaker 1 (01:06:29):
I would never, But I'm just saying, like, that's that's
that's the thing. Yeah, you love somebody, or when you
when you start to fall in love with somebody and
you think, okay, well this person treats me well, they're
helping me in my life, They're helping me feel more,
you know, you know what I mean, Like, there have
been friends I've had to cut off, Like I would
even say this, my fucking chiropractor. I loved my chiropractor.

(01:06:51):
My chiropractor was fucking amazing. He was funny, he was
very cute, very very charming. His family was sweet, his
wife was fantastic. Their baby was the cutest. I fucking
loved my chiropractor. And then I learned that he was
a fucking Republican who voted for Trump. And I'm like,

(01:07:11):
I've been going to this fucking chiropractor for almost six
years and I didn't know. I mean, there were signs
he drove a Tesla, but I'm just saying, like he
seemed to be very in it, Like he seemed to be, Oh,
I love what you're doing. I love that you're creating
a name for yourself. I can't wait to buy your book.
He seemed very in it. And then I learned he
voted for Trump, and I'm like, fuck, am I gonna

(01:07:32):
which I did. I had to stop going to him.
I don't go to him anymore. But I'm just saying, like,
that's the stuff that we don't know, and so I
think we just we Everyone is so judgmental. And it's like, baby,
if somebody came into your house and started peeping around
and started opening up doors and started lifting up papers,
they'd probably find a roach you too. We all have

(01:07:54):
stuff we're trying to hide, are things that would make
other people squirm if they found out about it, And
no one's better than that. And so I think, you know,
in this moment, my biggest things I just want to say,
like we all are victims of moments of lack of
self love. And before I judge that woman for her
bad choices, I have to make sure my house is
in order, and I just I don't have the energy

(01:08:15):
to be all up in her business when I feel
like there's a whole bunch of things that I'm trying
to keep together over here. So that's where I'm at.

Speaker 3 (01:08:23):
Ooh, girl, I feel it. I feel like you know,
and and like I think we're all like we all
have to consider what are like what our values are,
and how we either uphold them or not uphold them,
and like and yeah, I just like like I sometimes
I realize that this is maybe hard for something to grasp,

(01:08:44):
like like liberation work isn't always so that we can
isn't isn't so all things are a certain way. Liberation
workers that so all people can be free to if
they want to do with their lives. Yeah, I feel
supported and cared for and how the access is stuff
and like if I believe in liberation like like for
like for trans folks, right, that means that they can
make decision they want to make, even even if I

(01:09:05):
don't agree with them. Hello, that's really like if that's
your practice, and then that's your then that has to
be your practice. You can't like, you can't be judging
a girl like for like for her decisions just because
they don't along with your decisions. A lot of.

Speaker 1 (01:09:20):
People swift and I don't agree with it, but hey.

Speaker 3 (01:09:24):
I okay, but different things. I'll be honest.

Speaker 1 (01:09:27):
It's not I mean it or not.

Speaker 3 (01:09:29):
It's not, well, fam not that we have a physically
a conversation with the person in the mirror and ask
them to change their ways. We're going to take one
more break and come back with y'all favorite segment back
in a sec.

Speaker 1 (01:09:47):
All right, child, So we are we are here with
the segment that y'all probably have been waiting for, which
is our yes, ma'am and our nomm's, and this week,
I just genuinely wanted to come back to the point
that I had made earlier. So I just really not
only do I want to say yes ma'am to Aja,
but I also wanted to say yes ma'am to the

(01:10:08):
girls like and the dolls like Aja. And I know
a lot of people refer to Aja and other queens
like Aja as like the bangie queens. But I've been saying,
this world, this this what we do, and I say
we all of us in some way, somehow we've been impacted,
or we've been uplifted, or we've been supported by a
bangie girl, and I feel like we need to give

(01:10:30):
them more credit for being the girl who's willing to
say the hard thing, to do the hard thing, to
be their authentic selves in a way that the world
won't let them. I think so much about what is
her name? She passed? She passed away, one of the queens,
Chee Chee da Veine. I could cry. I loved Chee

(01:10:53):
Chee so much, and I just I steal to this
day whish she was still here. And I met her
once and immediately I don't know if I've ever told
the story on the mic, but it was at Dracon
and there were some white gay men who were at
her line giving her a hard time. And I don't

(01:11:15):
know what their problem was. I don't know what the
issue was, but I remember walking up and basically having
to like go into my bag and basically be like,
if you don't leave CHEECHI alone, I'm gonna fuck you up.
And they walked away. But it was very much a
moment of me like, I don't tell that story to
like be like, look at me, Look what I did.
I tell that story of like I love the Banjee girls.

(01:11:39):
I love a girl who was just herself, and I
think that there's just something so beautiful and so special
about them, And so I appreciate the girls and the
dolls and drag who don't personify whiteness in their drag
and remind folks that there's so much beauty and being
from places like the Bronx Queens, parts of Florida, parts

(01:12:01):
of Texas, parts of of Atlanta, parts of Georgia that
that don't you know, cause I think that's where Chi
Chi was from. Was from, Uh, from from some backwood
area of and I don't say backwoods derogatory. I say
that I know that Chichi was very much uh same
thing with what's her name from back swamp whatever, you know.
Like thinking about all those girls, right, they they come

(01:12:24):
from a place that is not LA or New York
or Miami, and they say, I'm going to make something
of myself. I think we we clap our like I want.
I want to clap my hands for the girls who
are not polished and and and and and out there
being their authentic selves in a way that allows us
to say, look how beautiful you are, girls so and

(01:12:47):
and and I just really want to say, like they're
not chasing whiteness as a brand of drag, and I
think that's beautiful. I think it's beautiful to see girls
like Aja saying I don't need to be like her
to be celebrated as a queen. I have my own talent,
and I just want I hope Aza like I don't.
I I want to clip this and like directly send
this Daja. I'm not saying this for her recognition, but

(01:13:09):
I just want her to know that she is needed
so much. Like I watched that episode and her being like,
you know, I don't know if I want to keep
doing this and blah blah blah blah blah, And I'm like, baby,
you're needed, like your your you are so essential in
drag right now. And I just want her to know
that that how important she is to to to not

(01:13:33):
only the legacy of drag, but just to this world
right now. So lucky girl. I just really, I really
hope she hears this, and I hope that she knows
how much she's loved. For my no man, Pam, Oh
my god, I feel like we have been talking. Our
ass is off today. I for my no man, Pam.
It's a very quick one. But I also want to
throw it back to the top of the episode, you

(01:13:54):
know about the whole devil thought she had me, but
I got away. So I told this story in my
in my stories on Instagram. I didn't tell it in public,
so I'm gonna tell it here for those of you
who do or don't know. I was in La Shout
out to Menda Heart. Her books Talk to Me Nice,
came out this past Tuesday. If you haven't had a
chance to go get it, please do. It's a great book.

(01:14:15):
I actually just got into chapter one. I'm reading it
with some of the folks at my job were trying
to implement some things around trust all that to be said,
it's a really great book. So Menda shout out to
her for that book. I went to her book launch,
but before that, I had to run an erin. I
had to actually oldso. I don't know if y'all know this,
but the Sacred Drops have been sold out and you

(01:14:37):
can't get them everywhere. So I got the Sacred Drops,
but I had to go to West Hollywood to get them.
So I said, okay, well I'll pop over to West
Hollywood and then I'll head over to Menda's book launch,
which it was also in La at our Reparations club.
So as I'm sitting in front of the place where
the Alta is, I see signed to say three hours,
three hours, three hours, three hours, typical La shit, right,

(01:15:00):
And I said, oh okay, I said, well it's you know.
So I got out of my car, put my money,
you know, put my car on the machine. I'm trying
to like put extra time on the meter, and it
only would give me two minutes. And I said, what
the fuck is I'm like trying to play with it
or whatever. And so then I finally said I saw
another sign in front of the other sign. I didn't
read that sign. I only read the green signed. I

(01:15:21):
didn't read the red sign. Something in my soul said, bitch,
you better read that sign. And so I walked a
little bit down and I read the red sign and
I said what does it say? And it said no
parking between four pm and seven pm. And I said, oh,
this bitch, the devil. She thought she had me. She
thought she had me. I walked back to my car.

(01:15:43):
And as soon as I got my car, girl and
I closed the door, guess what pulled up in front
of me? A tow truck. And I said, I if
I would have if I would have stayed here, they
would have told LEXI. I said, aha, I said, see
here we go again. Y'all know, a couple weeks ago,
I got a fucking ticket in LA for parking off

(01:16:03):
of a Larchmont. Now West Hollywood is trying to get
my ass, but she didn't and I won. And so
I'm laughing in the devil's face, just thumbing my nose
at them, because the devil thought she had me. My
Noman Pam is just street parking in LA in general.
The fact that there's never anywhere to park. There's a
million fucking signs, you never really know where you can

(01:16:25):
really park, and when you do find a good parking spot,
you can only park there for two minutes. What the fuck?

Speaker 3 (01:16:31):
Like?

Speaker 1 (01:16:31):
There's so many people in LA and there's so much
to like, Why is there not ample parking build some
fucking structures, Like I know that they have structures, but
oftentimes the structures are for like businesses and stuff. What
the fuck? Like? I just I literally that is a
big part of the reason why I have not moved
to LA is I hate the idea of like, I
never know when and where I can park, and I'm

(01:16:52):
just I refuse to do it.

Speaker 3 (01:16:54):
I refuse to do it.

Speaker 1 (01:16:55):
So that's my no man. Pam is ultimately parking in
LA again, but this time I still win. What about
your baby?

Speaker 3 (01:17:04):
Let me start with my no man. Pan Cos is
also parking because I and I asked I Scott News
that I'm actually pissed about. So one the city is
citiy Ago, for one, increasing his parking rates by double
adding more medias and places that used to be free,
and double girl five dollars for an hour is to
die about two hours two hours for two hours, but

(01:17:26):
it used to be two fifty for two hours, so
finals for two hours is crazy work. Adding more medias
and places that used to be for. They wanted to
try to add parking in Baba Park which has always
been free and and for and looking like like for
the bum mass parking enforcement. So first of all, girl,
it's not our fault that she broke, right, it's girl,
maybe stop increasing the police pleasure hundred millon dollars per

(01:17:48):
year and save you some money from that, Like, do
not because you can't. You can't budge your ship properly, girl, right,
don't don't like, don't don't piss some my lig until
my training. Girl, But that is just annoying as hell,
And so why madaitate for that? But also mad because
no so I had got so so we when they

(01:18:12):
doubled the parking rates. There's an app that you could
use called park Smarter. That is top you park on
the app. You used to be able to extend your
time in the app. Now you have to wait for
Now you have to wait for the time to end
before you can refill the meter. Right, but the gap

(01:18:32):
issue the issue is that like on the on the app,
on the app interface, you have like you have to
like park the specific zone, and so before you extend,
you can extend your time in the zone, right, but
when it ends, you have to then remember what the
zone number is or go back and scan the zone

(01:18:55):
to like then re up your time in the zone. Yeah,
and then and then I renew my twelve twenty nine.
So three minutes. It was those three minutes I got
parking ticket. Right, that means that this that this bum
bitch was probably watching.

Speaker 1 (01:19:09):
For our waiting Wait, it's like girl.

Speaker 3 (01:19:12):
Also but like and so and so, so I got
the ticket, I can tested it with. I can tested
it and was like, I think it's actually egregious because
while in mind you like it's a forty five dollars
parking ticket agregious, which is like not by deal the
Grand scheme, but like egregious to the circum parktent. Because
I was literally like I was literally a minute late,
a minute late, like, and you can't extend on the app,

(01:19:37):
which I demonstrated via the screenshots that showed right, you
like you have to leave, you have to go back
to you have to go back to the car to
extend it again. One minute is crazy, So I tested
it and they just told me that. So I saw
I still have to pay to pay the fine, and
I'm like, are you serious, girl? That is such bullshit
because before I can extend my like in the my

(01:20:00):
time and know.

Speaker 1 (01:20:01):
What they're doing.

Speaker 3 (01:20:03):
So you changed that, that story changed now and then
and then like the girl a minute literally ran out
for a minute, and your argumentation which means you were
there why the ticket before I even expired? Because you
because you got you gotta stand there. It takes you
minutes to fill out the little form so you know
full well that you were there for twenty five yeah,

(01:20:23):
way six to come and then say here's you take
a girl day like just just like girl, like like
fuck y'all. That is just that is just done. That's
the city and like like I hadn't have no paying
a TIPPERK ticket if like my car was over two
hours way past beyond. But it was like literally within
three minutes, are you serious to be so for real?

(01:20:45):
People are dying, Kim, And you're like listen, Basil, but
I'm saying and they and then you want to pregnant
everywhere else around the city, like what are you doing
for the city?

Speaker 1 (01:20:57):
Girl like our mayor, what are you doing.

Speaker 3 (01:20:59):
For I have questions and thoughts for our mayam.

Speaker 1 (01:21:04):
I'm girl like, what are you doing for the city.

Speaker 3 (01:21:08):
I have a very fair question to ask you. What
do you do successfully?

Speaker 1 (01:21:12):
Quick quickly?

Speaker 3 (01:21:13):
Yes, that's just so, no, no on that my yes,
ma'am is gonna be Maasine's gonna be for Pride because
just call my girl be calling hose mysonm is gonna
be for Pride, sending a Pride because it was just
so much fun. I have to give big ups to them.

(01:21:33):
I want to give big ups to one of my besties, Marvins,
who runs who was the director of Pride, the director
of programs events, so they like put on the entire
festival basically with their team.

Speaker 6 (01:21:49):
That's mother mother mother, Yes, that that that that that
was her job she got as of as of last
year is her first a year into her role and
put on a record breaking Pride.

Speaker 3 (01:22:03):
The entertainment team GGI girl got two amazing, two amazing
headliners that were fucking fantastic. People were living their best lives.
It was so much fun. I needed to do much.

Speaker 1 (01:22:16):
Who was the headliner this year? It was I know
it was Kilanie, right, Kilani and Kim Petriss Oh oh okay,
well no they.

Speaker 3 (01:22:24):
Look they look at the other big one. I didn't
watch Kim Petrass. I wasn't not like, I wasn't like,
I wasn't like I am interested in it. But I
did watch. I didn't watch kill and.

Speaker 1 (01:22:34):
I respect that.

Speaker 3 (01:22:35):
Yeah, like the performance, amazing body, I'm stupid, voice, vocals hunted,
like just everything. It was so, it was, it was
so sort of imply had a lot of controversy this
past year as well too because of it. And so
I just like like very proud, like like very proud

(01:22:55):
to see them work together in this way and still
do and like to put an amazing festival the people
really loved and enjoyed.

Speaker 1 (01:23:03):
And can we also throw Amber Saint James's name because
I know that they're connected to Bride Tom. I saw
them perform at that that beach thing and not beach thing,
but at that pool thing you did on Monday, and yes, yeah,
So I just want to make sure Amber gets.

Speaker 3 (01:23:19):
Well because surprised Amber was making sure that we were
all set up for success. Every booth and every booth
saying you grow, you good, you got Stephan Amber was
working with working the damn thing and then and performed
as well too in house of the rally which our
girl with cal Willis spoke out she was speaker. I
ever sat James was the host of that event to

(01:23:41):
merch like literally like, we have some incredible fucking folks
and black folks and San Diego. I'm so thankful to
witness them, to work with them, and so I have
to give them how to give them their big ups,
give them their flowers. Y'all have to be doing your
big ones on this, y'all. Maybe I love that. I'm
excited and and we're working with Amber for Black Pride.
Mars Marm's not working on Black Pride with with with

(01:24:01):
with with a girl Yinka, our girl Yinka also Yinka
and Yinka like Yinka want something on a show too,
were on. She is a She is a queer event
producers own event company which would be missed about how
to produce your events as a queer black woman. She's
su super dope big up shirt because she also helps
run help help Ran Pride. She went all the bars

(01:24:23):
at Pride. She's helping me plany Black Pride like I was.
I'm I'm so thinglet to work around dope ass black people,
and it's so good to see it in the province.
So big up, s all, I love y'll so much.
Gives him to all to all of y'all, to all
of us, And that's that on that.

Speaker 1 (01:24:39):
I was just gonna say real quick too before we
get out of here, that you know I want to
I just want to give you your your flowers because
I know that you are in a lot of different
spaces out that way, and I know it's not always easy,
and I think it's I think it's it's encouraging. I
should say this, Like I know that you probably think, well, John,

(01:25:01):
you know, you're ten years my singer, you know, and
you know you have all of these accolades and things.
But I look at you in a lot of ways
and I go, my girl is doing it, and it
is so encouraging for me to do what I want
to do. And I think you know, as much as
you said earlier today, you're like, I don't feel where
I need to be in my own personal body and
blah blah blah. Like I get all of that, and

(01:25:22):
I want to make sure that I don't dismiss that
I definitely just want you to know if that if
there's any consolation that you're making an impact, not only
locally but globally, it's it's just every time I see
you out there doing stuff, every time I see you
part I'll even say this part of your So there's
a we're gonna have to talk about this offline, but there.

(01:25:44):
I think you're the perfect person to do something the
new book that I'm working on, I think you'll be
the perfect person for me to connect with and to
talk with about the importance of community, because there's a
community element in my book that I'm that I'm dancing with.
Then I think you'll be the perfect person to help
work with me on that. But anyways, I love that

(01:26:05):
you're just very much a great inspiration to me, and
you are Black excellent. You are Black pride, and it
just makes me happy to know every day that I
get to do this with you, and I get to
do this with somebody who's really changing the world.

Speaker 3 (01:26:19):
So I love it so much.

Speaker 1 (01:26:21):
I love you to the fucking moon. And so with
that being said, we love y'all. And if you have thoughts,
which I'm sure many of you probably do, feedback or
email you can send that over to Blackfatfempod at gmail
dot com. My god, this episode is almost two hours.
I am so sorry, y'all, but I felt like we
just had a lot to say today, and you know what,

(01:26:41):
sometimes it's gonna be that way.

Speaker 3 (01:26:42):
Sometimes I feel like and I honestly, I feel like
we had a lot of pause in between time I think, but.

Speaker 1 (01:26:50):
It's still, it's still we had a lot to say
today and sometimes you know, and and y'all gon't listen
to all of it. I not that's right. But if
you have thoughts about all that we had to say,
you can also interact with us on Instagram or over
at Blue Sky or also on threads. We are on
all the places. Also on the tick of the talks,
I've been seeing people reshare our videos funny enough, a
friend of mine one of our clips from our videos

(01:27:13):
on TikTok. My friend just messaged me and said that
her husband sent her our video from our podcast and
she's like, I know them, So that was really funny
to kind of see. But anyway, all that to be said,
I need to handle Black Fatfin Pod. You can find
us anywhere and everywhere that you get your favorite content.
So with that being said, Joho, where can the dolls
find you? Now that you're getting some rest from Pride.

Speaker 3 (01:27:36):
Girl my love, you can find me, Joho. Dann's across
all socials, joined my website. If not that you will
find me, you will find me. Unfortunately in every street
begging doesn't know about Pride. Making sure everyone knows what
we're doing and we have a great maybe we should.
We have a great turnout. We're having some great performances,

(01:27:57):
We're doing some great events. So if y'all are Internet,
go or around, I want to come through. If you're
in la oh See, if you're in the Bay, if
you're in fucking Zimbabwe, come through to sd August A
through tenth for about Pride Festival. Then the eighth we're
having a ball. The ninth we're doing a a a
like a ninety two thousands throwback hip hop twork like

(01:28:19):
like like towrque style. Get your working on evening and
then Sunday is going to be a full cookout, a
full day cookout. DJ's live performances, music artists, some headline DJ.
It's gonna be an amazing experience, So please come through,
get your tickets, find us about SD Black product st
Black Pridu Instagram sixty events is what we're using for

(01:28:40):
a platform. It's a career on the event tating's website.
So we're doing queer ship with people, were doing singing events,
what's called. I'm very excited for all the all the above.
So yeah, peace and love, y'all.

Speaker 1 (01:28:51):
I love that. I love to hear that. And I'm
looking at my calendar. I forgot so for those of
you who know, I'm a huge fan of uh of
n XC and as well as Jade and Kia. They
have a live show coming up on August eighth and
Los Angeles, and I forgot that. I bought tickets to
go to the original show and it got rescheduled to

(01:29:11):
the eighth, So that's where I will be on Friday
the eighth. I will be at Jade and Kia's live
show in Los Angeles, which you can go get tickets
over down to the gett and Grown. But I will
for a fact be in San Diego on that Sunday
for SD Pride.

Speaker 3 (01:29:26):
So the ten is the best. I think that's great.

Speaker 1 (01:29:28):
I think I will be there. I will be there.
I'm really excited because last year I was traveling and
I didn't get a chance to go, and I'm going
to make sure that I'm there this year. So I'm
really I can't wait to be there and be in
community and things. As for me and as for mine,
you can find me and all the details about my
book and all of the things related to doctor John

(01:29:49):
Paul down over at ww dot doctor John Paul dot com.
You can also find me on Socials using the same
handle doctor John Paul. Buy my book. You can buy
directly from my site, or you can buy it on Amazon,
you can buy it on Barnes and Noble, or you
can buy it in your local bookshop. I know a
lot of people have been doing the local buys, which
I think is fantastic. I just got word this morning

(01:30:10):
that we have officially sold over I've been saying roughly
three thousand we are we have. We have sold thirty
one hundred copies of my books, so officially, officially we
have sold that many. I don't know how many we've
sold an audio, but I will say the seals definitely
is going to make it very easy for me to

(01:30:30):
uh purchase to sell another one. So thank you for
all of your love and support there for other folks,
if you want to watch my spot on ABC, you
can watch it on Hulu ABC. I've been seeing people
seeing it locally on their own websites, are on their
own local news sources. It's our America who I am
meant to be. You can head over down to ABC

(01:30:53):
or to Hulu and watch that. Other than that, we
want to thank our producer Bei Wang, our super producer
I Keep forgetting to say so, for producer by Wang
for handling the logistics of the show, and everyone over
at iHeartMedia for keeping the show up and running. We'd
also like to shout out our wonderful editor Chris Rogers
because without him we would not have any audio or
visuals for the show. Baby, they make magic every single

(01:31:14):
week for down to the Tube of you. It is free.
We are not behind the paywall, so go down and
watch it. Actually, no folks who watch the show, which
I love, so that's really cool. But with that being said,
thank you for listening everybody. This has been another show.
Stay black, fat, femine, fabulous, and remember.

Speaker 3 (01:31:31):
What joe y'all. We may having a cup of tea,
No no, go drink some water because you need you
need some Anyways.

Speaker 1 (01:31:41):
Bitch is hot.

Speaker 3 (01:31:43):
Get some pity like get some get some you.

Speaker 1 (01:31:47):
Go take a nap, lay down. Also also also keep
your stuff in the group chat. I love us for real.

Speaker 3 (01:31:58):
Bye by

Speaker 1 (01:32:02):
Fas.

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