May 27, 2025 • 43 mins
Bonita T. Hampton Smith is the COO of the King Center and a visionary leader whose life’s work has been dedicated to uplifting women, inspiring leaders, and transforming lives. As an inspirational speaker, certified nonviolence trainer, businesswoman, and author, Bonita’s journey is a powerful testament to her unwavering commitment to making a difference. She joins Host Ramses Ja on today's podcast to discuss her latest work " Dear Black Woman Dear White Woman".
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
As the Chief Operating Officer of the Martin Luther King
Junior Center for Non Violent Social Change, Benita Hampton Smith
leads a team of visionary leaders driving the organization's mission
to promote love, justice and global peace. Benita's unwavering belief
in leading with love consciousness drives her to create compassionate, productive,
and harmonious workspaces where everyone can thrive. In her role
(00:24):
as an author, Benita has just released a collection of
letters from an away of black and white women written
to each other, discussing cultural differences, racial inequalities, and more
with an intent to encourage empathy and healing between races.
Titled Dear White Woman, Dear Black Woman, These heartfelt letters
are raw and unfiltered and sure to inspire a dialogue
(00:44):
between races. Here to discuss more on this new work,
advice for rebuilding bridges, and the mission of the King's
Center for Non Violent Social Change, we have the one
and only Benita Hampton Smith. This is the Black Information
Network Daily Podcast and I'm your host, Ramsey's job. All right, So,
(01:05):
Benita Hampton Smith, Welcome to the show. How are you
doing today?
Speaker 2 (01:09):
I'm doing well. Thank you for asking how are you doing?
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I'm I'm flourishing. You know, today is a good day
and it's I'm really excited.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
To be able to talk to you.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You know, I've been reading about the work that you've
done and the work that you're doing, and I think
that we'll have a compelling conversation. So around here, as
our listeners know, we like to start our stories at
the beginning, So do us a favor and just kind
of fill in the gaps. I know we gave you
an introduction, but talk to us a little bit about
you know, your background, how you grew up, you know,
maybe where you went to school, you know, sort of
(01:41):
what led you, what what path you took to this
conversation we're having today.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Absolutely, you know, I think I really want to talk
to you about my journey to this work of being
a published author. So I grew up in a small town, Marianna, Arkansas.
It was a rural town. It was really, as I say,
the spirit of umbuntu. I am because you are. We
were people who believed in taking care of each other.
(02:08):
If our neighbors didn't have and we had, then of
course you had it. I always tell people Miss Agnes,
our neighbor across the road because we didn't have streets.
If she wanted to go in my mom's refrigerator, she could.
My brothers weren't always the kid to would, you know,
stay the course, so sometimes they would get in trouble
(02:30):
and they would get you know, end up going to jail.
But in my town, when they went to jail, my
brother came home for lunch, went back downtown, went back
to jail. So that kind of gives you a sense
of where I'm from. But HAVE always been a person
who would write what I was feeling. So as a kid,
I would write poems often because I had a lot
(02:52):
of internal things I couldn't understand. My mother thought they
were a little dark, you know. She's like, why are
you always writing about dark things? Or I remember one
poem having fun, blowing time, flunking class, getting behind, flirt
with every guy's site, and don't care if they're black
or white. But even though I was doing well in school,
internally there were some complexities, right, So I would always
(03:16):
chart my feelings and journal my feelings as I was
growing up. When I moved to Georgia, I noticed something
a little different than coming from Marianna, Arkansas. This black
girl growing up in Arkansas, still didn't understand the skin
she was in. So my second book, Lindsey Benzy Around
(03:36):
the World, where friends discovering the skin were loving the
skin we're in, was really because I didn't know how
to love the skin I was in. Right as a
black person, I was very smart in school, graduated Summa
cum laude. I did very well in school, even though
it took me a long journey to get there. But
(03:57):
I did not understand how to be black, beautiful in
this world. And so I wanted children to love the
skin they're in. So I wrote that book, Lindsey Benji
Around the World were Friends, and she goes to Scotland,
she goes to Africa, she goes to Puerto Rico, I'm sorry,
(04:18):
she goes to Peru, Puertoco. She goes to Peru, and
I wanted her to meet children around the world, so
that every child, no matter where you're from, whether you're Scotland,
where you're from Asia, India, I wanted children to not
have the same journey that I had because I didn't
see a lot of me until I came to Atlanta, Georgia,
(04:40):
and I started to see black people. You know, flourishing
to your term. And so that's my journey of writing.
And so I wrote Lindsay Benzi and My Journey to
Dear White Woman, Dear Black Woman. I started to enter
the world of social justice when I became a chaplain
of the Cap cap In Jail. I was the first
(05:01):
female chaplain to ever be staffed at the Cap County Jail.
But I started my journey with working with women. There.
You could have found me going into crackhouses getting some
of the women out of the crack house. You would
find me in the street getting women off the street,
making sure they get back to the space of their
belonging and getting to the journey of discovering their business.
(05:25):
So I started my work with women as a chaplain.
As I journeyed on became the CEO of the King Center.
My work in studying doctor King nonviolence was really instrumental
in helping me understand love as a strategy for change.
And so when I begin to understand the power of
(05:46):
transformative love, I'm also a person of faith, so I
had that as a grounding. But when I studied doctor
King and his ability to synthesize truths from whether he
was studying various jens or philosophers, the ability to synthesize
truth and come to a space of understanding how to
(06:07):
utilize what Gandhi calls softa graha, the sole force of
love to transform unjust systems. That I felt like started
giving me a little bit more power for my engine,
right And as we as women look at our role
in society to begin to change, to transform, I felt
(06:27):
it was very important for us to understand the power
of love to transform those systems. So how do we
get to this book? Dear white woman, dear black.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Wove That's what I was going to ask you.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Where's the point where you take the stories and they
become a book or you know what happens?
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Eric, go ahead, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
So it was right after George Floyd. That was a little.
That was that was not a little. It was extremely
different for me. I think it was different because we
were all sheltering place, right, and so we were all
steep when this happened. We've seen it before, but not
in stillness, and so in the stillness and quietness, you
(07:07):
begin to deal with things you've been grappling with for
a long time, and for me, deep rooted anger. I
started to understand that I had deep rooted resentment and
I was dealing with those emotions. But I knew I
couldn't just sit in those emotions. I couldn't. They didn't,
(07:28):
they were not going to serve me well. Right, So
during my time of prayer and meditation, this book literally
was like given to me. I always tell people I
am not so smart or not so brilliant that I
came up with this. It was given to me during meditation.
Meditation for me is such a powerful force, instrument and
(07:50):
my pathway of understanding and innerstanding. And so the strategy
was given to me to really invite black women and
white women into a conversation of storytelling and truth telling
for the purpose of healing. Missus King has his quotes.
It says, women, if the soul of the nation is
to be saved, I believe you must become its soul.
(08:13):
And so that so powerful to me because I believe
that women have this amazing strength and power. If we
can just begin to peel back some of the layers,
you know, and take some of the isms in anything
that's holding you in bondage to yourself, keeping you from
being your optimum self, we have to deal with those things.
(08:36):
I'm in a journey right now of dismantling my triggers
so that I can become a better person. So that's
how we got here with this project.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
One of the things that we say here, and I
think that it helps make your point, is that, you know,
if you were to take a country and try to
imagine it as a body, you know, the arms would
be this group, and the legs would be that group,
the brain would be this group, et cetera.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
You know, we've said that the soul is black women.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Black women are the soul in this country, and so,
you know, we believe that this country has a good soul.
It needs to do work on nourishing and nurturing its soul.
It needs to kind of reconnect with its soul and
the purpose of its soul. It needs to prioritize soul
work and so forth. But it does have a good soul,
(09:30):
the soul worth saving, and we credit black women for that.
Another one of the things that we say is that
black women are as close to God as we'll be
on this planet as we can be on this planet.
And so, you know, I appreciate you know, your position
on those things because you know, it provides further affirmation
(09:50):
for our baseline philosophies around here. Now, I know that
the book is probably for more than just me, So
talk to us a little bit about you know, who
you envision you know, reading the book. Who's the book
for and what do you hope to inspire in the reader?
Speaker 3 (10:09):
You know? So talk us through that part.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Yeah, So the book is for just multi layer of understanding.
So I think men meant to read this book to
understand how women in the workspace, their wives, their daughters,
their stories, what are women really dealing with. I've spoken
to a lot of men who have been so impacted
(10:35):
just by reading this book and just just shifting their paradigms,
if you would. And when you don't know, there's a
gentleman I used to work with, he said, Benita, when
you don't know, and you don't know that you're you
don't know, then you're not open to any new ideas
and so sometimes you just don't know. Uh. This book
(10:56):
is also for women, black women, why white women, all women,
because we need to understand where this issue started right
in this culture. How do we get to the root
causes If we don't begin to get to the root
causes of systemic racism, if we don't get to the
root causes of understanding what are the what's really dividing us,
(11:19):
if we don't get to the root causes of why
we're not healed, which is number one, why are we
yet not healed? And I'm hoping that this book starts
healing because when you do the inner work and you
deal with yourself first and you are healed, I'm hoping
that we as women start to work together well, so
(11:41):
healing then doing the inner work so that we can
then start to work together. Well. We're trying to transform
systems unwell. And I believe that the means exist within
the ends the means. What am I trying to say?
I believe the ends exist within the means. I guess yeah.
(12:01):
So if you're trying to get a just outcome, if
you're trying to get a love centered outcome, you've got
to use that methodology to get there, right, So you
can't go in tearing up stuff not considering people. If
you're going into a neighborhood to transform it, you can't
go in there tearing up stuff, not considering people and
think you're building a beloved community. It doesn't work like that.
(12:24):
So the short and sweet answer to your question is,
I hope that we do the work, listen to the storytelling,
do the inner work so that we can become heal,
and do the work so that we can work together. Well,
I hope that book clubs read this book. Women read
this book. Corporate leaders read this book so you can
understand what's going on in your workspace. It's a book
(12:46):
for understanding and understanding.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
I love that. Well.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
You know, as we mentioned, it's letters that are written,
you know, across racial lines, and I would imagine that
at this time in our country's history and timeline those letters,
(13:10):
you know, we're as polarized as I've ever seen as
a nation. So those letters, you know, some of them
might be be lovely and inspire hope, some of them
might be challenging. But maybe you can talk us through,
you know it. So our last election, fifty three percent
of white women, the majority, voted for Donald Trump, and
(13:34):
of Black women voted for Kamala Harris. Right, So the
vast majority of black women voted one way and a
small majority of white women voted the other way.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
So talk to us maybe about the.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Implications of this and how you've seen this manifested in
the work that you've you've completed.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Yeah, so it's interesting because I've in talking about this book,
there's to your point, a lot of black women, quite
a few have told me, Benita, I'm just not even
interested anymore. I'm tired. I don't care what white women
think at this point. And you know what I say
(14:16):
to them, I said, feel what you feel. But then
we got to get back in the game. I think
part of this work is to make sure we begin
to understand each other's stories. I was talking to a
white woman the other day at an event, and she
was angry at her mother, who voted for Donald Trump.
(14:37):
She was a supporter of Kamala Harris and so it
was about to be Mother's Day. She literally did not
want to sit down with her mom. And the first
thing I said to her, I said, I said, she's
your mom, she's your mom. Understand her story. I think
we're looking so much at the outcomes of what happened,
but we got to ask the question, to your point,
(14:59):
how do we get here? What's the why behind it?
And so I asked her, I said, what was your
mother's why do you know? And she shared it with
me what it was. I said, So what you've got
to do is begin to understand her why and love
her in spite of that, and reach beyond so that
you can say, okay, so, how do we build a
(15:20):
bridge on our common interest? We are so we are
so polarized to your point, because we're looking at all
our differences. The way you build bridges is on commonalities
and also unerstanding. I think what happened in the election
is we have refused to sit down and understand who
(15:41):
we are, why people feel what they feel. We're so judgmental.
The moment we understand somebody voted one way or the
other way, we are done. We are disengaging, and that's
not how we're going to bridge divides. I did talk
to one of the few black women who voted for Trump,
and her issue was this one particular woman had She
(16:03):
had so many abortions that she was frozen in time.
She was frozen in time, and that became her issue.
She is so pro life that she is frozen in
time because she is not what I would say, she's
not totally healed from there. And so when you understand
people's stories, you understand how they got there and maybe
(16:24):
we can deal with it from that perspective. So what
I've discovered in this work is that we're not listening
to each other. We're not trying to get an innerstanding
or an understanding of how we got there, and we're
not going to get it if we don't do the work.
A lot of us are. I said, we function from
our place of enlightenment. You function from your level of enlightenment,
(16:46):
and I function from my level of enlightenment. And that's
where people vote, that's where people practice their religion, that's
where people raise their children at the level of their enlightenment.
No matter where it is, the question is can we
do like the kids? And said, we listen, but we
don't judge. We've got to dismantle the judgment to get
to a place of innerstanding and understanding to create a
(17:09):
pathway forward. I'm just saying that we're not listening. Now
we refuse to listen.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Hey, what's up.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
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Speaker 5 (17:24):
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Speaker 1 (17:48):
We are here today with the chief operating Officer of
the Martin Luther King Junior Center for Non Violent Social Change,
Benita Hampton Smith. You know, I think that on the
(18:09):
one hand, I get it. I understand that fatigue. I
understand the implications of this last election. I worked very
closely with the Harris campaign, and I understand what that
campaign represented for Black women, the one group in this
(18:32):
country that has consistently and throughout the entire history of
this group's presence in this country, they have been perhaps
the lowest priority human being, and once upon a time,
this group wasn't even considered human beings. Last people to
(18:53):
get the chance to vote, the last people considered in
most every meeting that apes and has shaped this country
as Black women, and to have.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
The opportunity to see a black woman.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Reached the highest office of the land, a woman that
was the most qualified presidential candidate in the history of
this country, overlooked by mediocrity, repackaged as excellence, and we
(19:32):
already lived through that. You know, So you are, on
the one hand, you have people with short memories. On
the other hand, you have people that make excuses for
this guy. This guy was elected president after it came
out that he was saying that, you know, when your celebrity,
you can go up and just grab women by the
P word. You know, to know the cognitive dissonance and
(19:55):
the level of disconnect that people had to endure in
order to not elect a black woman. And for many
of those people, it came down to a single issue.
You know, they wanted Trump's this, or they wanted Trump's that,
or they didn't want Kamala Harris's this, or they didn't
want Kamala Harris as that.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
But the whole package in a.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Lot of black women's mind, a lot of people's mind,
was inferior by a long shot, by a considerable margin.
I understand how that can feel deflating. And on the
other hand, I do understand because of me and my
co host here Q I'm more of the optimist, he's
more of the realist.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
That's what we say.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
I understand that, you know, we do need to have
those conversations. They are important. I told this story, but
I'll share it with you in brief. I recently had
a sit down conversation with a friend of mine and
he is a friend. He's a Fox News pundit in
a journalist, and he's he's a far right, far right guy.
(21:03):
He is I wouldn't say far right, but he's definitely
a right guy. He's a trumper, all that Jewish man,
you know, white passing a white He's a white guy.
That's really the only way to say it. So we
don't feel the same way about Israel's response to the
October seventh attacks. We don't feel the same way about
(21:24):
Donald Trump. We don't feel the same way about most anything.
But I made a commitment early on in our relationship
to love him, and he made the same commitment to me.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
And so.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
And how I said it before is you know, when
he's in town, or when we're in the same place,
we'll sit down with each other and we'll share a meal,
and symbolically, you know, he'll eat from my plate, I'll
eap from his plate, and then we have a conversation,
or really we kind of argue, and I I he
(21:58):
shares his wrong opinions with me, and then I point
out how wrong his opinions are, because you know, you
need that right right. But one of the things that
I realized in that conversation is that this man is
not racist. He's not a person that hates me, doesn't
(22:19):
hate my children. He asks about my children. He's not
a person that you know. And so the first layer
of confusion and frustration whatever, that immediately dissipates because I
know I'm not dealing with an adversary, So how did
he cast a vote that casts in and of itself
a shadow.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
On my life?
Speaker 1 (22:39):
And once I start making that point to him, I
see the fact that he's prioritized himself and that he
lacked that perspective, and the only way who's ever going
to get it is through conversation. So I see both
sides of the point that you're making, and I appreciate
you making it here because again I've made this point
on this show, but you making it I think brings
(23:00):
an additional layer of validity to the narrative that we
do need to continue to fight. And I know that
Black women are not just born to fight and die.
Black women deserve happiness. Black women deserve to smile and
to play and enjoy life. But this type of fighting
(23:22):
is simply if you can't initiate a conversation. In my belief,
you can initiate a conversation, be receptive to one, and
affirm in that conversation you're humanity. If you're not the
most sophisticated, you know, political voice in the room, at
least you understand what it feels like to live life
(23:44):
under this type of administration versus under that type of administration.
Because the fact is is that there's a certain group
of people, racist people that do exist and they always
vote one way. Yeah, and under Donald Trump they feel
as embolden as they've ever felt in their life. And
those racist people do interact with you. And if you
felt that change, then you now have a perspective that
(24:07):
you can share in that in that perspective, you a
firm your humanity. Now, one of the things that you
did mention was that you know, the black women you
spoke to said that they were, you know, tired, they
were they were fatigued, and I know that that extends
a lot further than than your circle than my circle.
(24:27):
You know, maybe in your travels you've kind of come
across a couple of bits of advices, of advice or
maybe some ideas of how to deal with that fatigue.
So I want you to kind of go in a
little bit more detail there. What would you say to
people who are like I just I feel like this
(24:50):
country's given up on me, and I want to give
up give up on the country. You know, maybe some
words of encouragement, if you have them, or for that person, I.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Will do that, But first I want to honor what
you just share, because you almost move me to tears.
It's just it's the power of really our interconnectedness. And
to me what you just shared, two people who understand
that there somehow are getting there. I won't say you
understand because it sounds like your friend is you said
(25:23):
he didn't have that perspective. But as we continue to
share with each other and tell our stories, and we
see each other's humanity and discover our interconnectedness and our interrelatedness,
to me, it changes everything. And as you were sharing
it just it affirms my work because I really believe
that when we get to know each other and really
(25:46):
seek to understand each other as humans, you're not black people,
white people, Jewish people.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
That's what I said.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yeah, exactly, Yeah, and so just thank you for sharing that.
Real quick, there's this gentleman named Darryl. Have you ever
heard of Darryl who penetrated the Ku Klux Klan?
Speaker 1 (26:07):
I think so, I think I have that story. Sounds familiar.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Yeah, he didn't understand why these men didn't like him
because of his skin color. So Darryl started to go
to meet KKK meetings and he started going to meetings
and sitting down with some of the leaders. He has
probably collected over two hundred robes where they have denounced
their allegiance. They have friends, and they're doing the work
(26:35):
together because one man decided to have a conversation. So
I just want to know, Daryl Davis, thank you for that.
Daryl Davis, so being tired, I have been there, so
all of us. If you're really doing this work, you're
going to have a moment. You're going to have a
(26:56):
moment where you're gonna reckon, probably with your own soul,
maybe your belief system. Is it even worth it. Some
people decide, you know what, let me think about me,
myself and I. But for those of us who are
committed to moving humanity forward, it's so important that you
acknowledge the journey of your soul and where you are
(27:18):
in that journey. And if you are tired, if you
are worn out or burned out, or you're feeling emotionally
fatigued a you have to acknowledge that some people keep
going and that's a very very dangerous place to be
where you journey with a tired, weary soul. The most
(27:39):
important work you could do is to cultivate the work
of your soul. And so if it means you do
what you tell your children, take a time out, and
what does that timeout entail depends on where you are
in your journey. If you need professional help, you may
need to get professional help if it's something that you
can do on your own. For me, I had to
(28:01):
just stop and I spent a season of learning, relearning, unlearning.
I had to spend a whole season dealing with my
belief system. I had to spend a season feeding myself,
feeding my soul, connecting with people who matter, teachers who matter.
I had to spend a season away from it all.
(28:23):
I had to pull away from my work and really
do some soul work. And each of us have you know,
you may be in a different place. For me, I
had to unlearn some things I had hardwired, some things
that did not serve me well, and so I had
to learn to rewire my brain. I had to learn
how to learn dismantle what I call truths that end
(28:46):
up being falsities. I had to unlearn those things, even
religious things that I had learned and heartwired in my system,
I had to dismantle, and I had to relearn new things.
I had to invite in new new spaces and new
people that I wasn't comfortable with. So each of us
(29:07):
have a different space in our soul journey. But you
have to pay attention to where you are. That is
so critical, and it's so critical to stop when you
know that you are emotionally fatigued. I always I have
this saying called Haught. If you hung if you're hungry, angry, lonely,
are tired, stop, okay, Haught, Yeah, just stop and make
(29:32):
sure you pay attention to what your soul needs, because
your soul is what's going to serve you well going forward,
and it's an indicator of your overall wellness, and so
you do need to stop, take time, cultivate, get professional
help if you need it, and then do things that
will serve you well. It's so important also to make
(29:55):
sure that you understand your energy functionality. We all have
a certain level of energy sovereignty, and it's so important
that when you're engaging with others, when you are moving along,
that you're paying attention to where you are in that space,
because it's an indicator when your energy is at a
(30:15):
certain space. You got to be you have to be
sensitive enough to understand the changes internally and be very
sensitive to it. And the more we're conscious of it,
the more we're love conscious, the more we're love centered,
we'll start to navigate differently. But we must do the
work of soul cultivation.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
Sure, I love that.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
I was thinking of a question for you, and I
kind of touched on a little earlier, but I'd love
to get your thoughts here.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Who would you say has.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
The responsibility of initiating the healing that needs to take
place in terms of you know, black women and white women,
and we'll say Hispanic women too, but you know, women
because white women are kind of upright now in that
as I mentioned, the majority of white women voted for
(31:08):
what we have right now, right and black women, as
we're discussing discussing right now, a lot of black women.
I won't speak for all black women, but I've heard
that a lot of Black women are kind of enduring
that fatigue because of you know, the way that politics
has kind of shaped out, and you know, with Project
(31:30):
twenty twenty five and you know, this kind of long
term strategy of Republicans, you know, the future looks very
bleak for Black women. And so in terms of whose
responsibility it might be for initiating what healing does need
to take place, maybe maybe the question is who should
should take responsibility, But maybe the question is how does
(31:54):
how does that? How does that begin in the first place?
You know, I just your thoughts here.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Well, yeah, so I.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Will say that you and I have a different perspective
on where black women are. And I've said this to
white women. When you look at the dismailing of DEI,
black people benefited less than ten percent white women. If
they're really dismailing.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
DEI, you're the white woman they get turned.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
It's going to be white women, white women in C
suite positions, and also white women whose names have been
utilized to get loans for their husband. So when we
start to dismount DEI, I told my white girlfriends, I said,
you might want to be mindful of what's really happening
here when you start talking about you don't have control
(32:41):
of your body and you can't do what you need
to do. If you feel like you're in jeopardy with
the pregnancy, you may need to think about this. You
may need to think about who has benefited the most
off DEI. So I kind of feel a little bit like,
you know, some of this is not our fight, because
if we have benefited less than ten percent, whose fight
(33:05):
is this? That's my question? Whose fight isn't? Really? If
we're at a ten percent, you're talking about below veterans,
you're talking about below Hispanic populations, below the Asian populations,
below white women exactly. Yeah, disable people who are physically challenged,
we're at ten percent. So I want us to rethink that.
(33:27):
I think that strategically, black people in this hour, if
we really rethink our strategies. And I tell Doctor King
this all the time, I said, we got to figure
out how to get on the offense. Because there was
a time when we understand how to innovate and create
learning spaces for our children. There was a time when
we understood how to be resourceful and create jobs and
(33:52):
businesses for our community. I just think we have to
rethink the times. So I'm in a different space. I
am so for in the realm of possibilities that somebody
has to pull me into a space of reality right
about now. That's where I am. Now. When it comes
to who is responsible, I say the stronger man in
(34:12):
the arena is responsible. That may be black or white.
So if you are stronger in this time, I always
believe those who are stronger should bear the burdens are
the strength of the weak. So if I'm the stronger person,
be it black or white, then what can I do
to open a door? What can I do to make
sure that when you're at the table, if I'm the
(34:35):
strong person in the room, that I make sure you
are acknowledged, that you're represented, and that you're honored. And
so I don't think it's necessarily about any color. I
think it's about strength, power and influence, and that goes
black or white. If you're black and you have a
space of influence? What can you do for a person
of color? What can you do for your black brother
(34:57):
or sister? What can you do to ensure I tell
people not that the door is open, that the hinges
are taken off so it becomes fluid. What can you
do if you're stronger?
Speaker 3 (35:07):
Okay, all right? So so how about this then?
Speaker 1 (35:12):
For the black women who are you, know, given what
you've know and what you've learned, putting together this work?
For the black women who are kind of feeling that fatigue,
you know, if you could give one piece of advice,
not necessarily for healing, but it might be that, but
one piece of advice for like enduring we'll say that,
(35:36):
we'll use that word enduring this administration. Based on what
you've learned, what do you think would be probably the
most solid piece of advice that our listeners could could
take away from from what you've learned so far, I.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Think the most solid piece of advice I would tell
anyone is to understand what's your piece of the pie?
What are you responsible for? Each of us have a
space of influence. If you are responsible for a just
a slice in your community, then be committed to that slice.
(36:13):
Some of us are so concerned about the whole that
we're not optimizing the space we're in. So if you
do your part and make sure you do it with
greatness and excellence, and I do my part, we all
contribute to the whole. So do what you're supposed to
do well. What is your assignment, what is what is
(36:34):
your purpose? And make sure you're effective, efficient, and you
do it with excellence. Be committed to your part, your
role and your assignment, and everybody contributing to their parts,
the whole is well. So I would tell any woman, hey,
what are you called to do in this space? I
told sister yesterday, I said, you can care, but you
(36:55):
don't have to carry. You're not responsible to carry everything
that you you care about, but you are responsible for
your piece of the pie. Make sure you do it well.
So I would that would be my advice.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
I forgot who said it, but I remember seeing it recently,
and I really whoever said it deserves credit because it
was beautifully said. But the statement was, you know, I'm
not effectually What was communicated was I'm not burdened because
I'm light and light isn't heavy. I carry light with
(37:32):
me and I just love how that sounded. I think
that that kind of jibs with what you're saying now.
But you know, beautifully said, you know we no matter
what happens, you know, we all have a role in society,
and we all have a job to do. I think
that the societies that deteriorate the fastest are the ones
where people don't have a role, they don't have a
(37:53):
useful place in their in their community and their environment.
And so purpose is kind of part and parcel to
the human experience, and so kind of walking in your
purpose and focusing and doubling down on your purpose, I
could absolutely see that as being maybe the strongest piece
of advice in terms of kind of enduring.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
Like I said, I.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Would also say, though, in enduring, we also have to
I have to just keep drilling this because the only
way I'm able to stand is I'm committed daily to
my self work sure, I'm committed daily to my self love,
I'm committed daily to my personal evolution. And the more
(38:34):
I work on making sure that I'm well, that I'm
love centered, love conscious, and to your point, that I
embody light in the spaces that I go in, that's
my first priority. I cannot do anything well if I'm
not well, and so I do want to say we
always have to prioritize the inner work, your inner consciousness,
(38:55):
making sure that you're love conscious and love centered in
every space that you go in, and so prioritizing that
as you fulfill your purpose, because the only way you
can do it excellent is that you're taking care of yourself.
So prioritizes self love can look different for all of us,
but it's so important.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Yeah, you know, I think that we've kind of talked
around it, but let's let's speak to it. You know,
people need to read this book. You know, they've obviously
listened to our conversation. They can appreciate the perspective that
you're bringing. You know, before we let you go, do
us a favorite. Let folks know where they can you know,
(39:35):
get this work and and also to keep up with
you and some of the other things that you have
going on. So any sort of websites, social media is
you know, all that sort of stuff where people can
kind of get that connective tissue that they'll need.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Absolutely And I'm going to keep up with you because
you're a beautiful light. So I really appreciate this conversation,
but they can keep up with me on Benita Hamptonsmith
dot com. You can get the book at Dear White Woman,
Dear Black Woman, any space that you can find books,
whether it's Amazon Books, Million, Barnes and Noble, this book
is available.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
So yeah, and your social media, because I feel like
that is something that I'm definitely going to lock in,
but I know our listeners might want to do the same.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
I'm Bonita Hampton on Facebook. B Trice on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (40:30):
What is it? Beach Beach Price.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
B A slower case B t r C. I'm sorry,
author B Trice.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
Oh gotcha, that's it. I think I got you right here.
All right.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Well then, and because I'm over fifty, I hate to
say this, I'm more active on Facebook.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
You all, that's all right.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
We can lock in everywhere, but I wanted to make
sure that at least, you know, we had our own
link to you because again, the work that you do,
and we make it out to Atlanta quite a bit,
but you know the work.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
That we do here, it's good to have.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
Some people such as yourself that we can platform, that
we can you know, give the microphones to and bring
the audience to you know, we move around the country
quite a bit, and you know we do speaking engagements
and all that sort of stuff, But we really are
a reflection of like the light that you shine. You know,
our listeners know this, but you know, we're newer to
(41:36):
this space. You know, we're radio personalities and Q and
we're you know, DJ's and we come from like nightclubs
and that sort of thing, and you know, like your
story in twenty twenty, we recognize that, Okay, we can't
just talk on radio and just you know, have it
be party time. We have to you know, do a
little bit more than put a black square on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
So what are we going to do? What's going to
be our contribution?
Speaker 1 (41:58):
And so it kind of it has evolved to this point,
but we still continue to learn, we still continue to
be inspired, and I think that you're one such individual
that can inspire us for a long time to come.
And so, like I said, it was very important that
I make sure that I personally, you know, make the
connection on behalf of myself and of Q, who's out
(42:20):
he's in the Midwest right now doing some work, so
you know, he couldn't be on today's call but but
I can't thank you enough for your time. That even
someone like you would take the time to talk to
us over here is special, and I want to make
sure that you know that. My hope is that you know,
as you continue to do you know your work, that
you'll count us among your brothers and come back and
(42:42):
share you know your story as it continues to develop,
and other works that you do and will continue to
platform you and to you know, be your biggest cheerleaders.
So with that in mind, again, I'd like to thank
you very much for your time and your insight.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
Once again.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Today's guest is the chief operating Officer of the Martin
Luther King Junior Center for Non Violent Social Change, Benita
Hampton Smith. This has been a production of the Black
Information Network. Today's show was produced by Chris Thompson. Have
some thoughts you'd like to share, use the red microphone
talkback feature on the iHeartRadio app. While you're there, be
(43:18):
sure to hit subscribe and download all of our episodes.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
I am your host Ramsey's Jah
Speaker 1 (43:23):
On all social media and join us tomorrow as we
share our news with our voice from our perspective right
here on the Black Information Network Daily podcast
As the Chief Operating Officer of the Martin Luther King
Junior Center for Non Violent Social Change, Benita Hampton Smith
leads a team of visionary leaders driving the organization's mission
to promote love, justice and global peace. Benita's unwavering belief
in leading with love consciousness drives her to create compassionate, productive,
and harmonious workspaces where everyone can thrive. In her role
(00:24):
as an author, Benita has just released a collection of
letters from an away of black and white women written
to each other, discussing cultural differences, racial inequalities, and more
with an intent to encourage empathy and healing between races.
Titled Dear White Woman, Dear Black Woman, These heartfelt letters
are raw and unfiltered and sure to inspire a dialogue
(00:44):
between races. Here to discuss more on this new work,
advice for rebuilding bridges, and the mission of the King's
Center for Non Violent Social Change, we have the one
and only Benita Hampton Smith. This is the Black Information
Network Daily Podcast and I'm your host, Ramsey's job. All right, So,
(01:05):
Benita Hampton Smith, Welcome to the show. How are you
doing today?
Speaker 2 (01:09):
I'm doing well. Thank you for asking how are you doing?
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I'm I'm flourishing. You know, today is a good day
and it's I'm really excited.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
To be able to talk to you.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You know, I've been reading about the work that you've
done and the work that you're doing, and I think
that we'll have a compelling conversation. So around here, as
our listeners know, we like to start our stories at
the beginning, So do us a favor and just kind
of fill in the gaps. I know we gave you
an introduction, but talk to us a little bit about
you know, your background, how you grew up, you know,
maybe where you went to school, you know, sort of
(01:41):
what led you, what what path you took to this
conversation we're having today.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Absolutely, you know, I think I really want to talk
to you about my journey to this work of being
a published author. So I grew up in a small town, Marianna, Arkansas.
It was a rural town. It was really, as I say,
the spirit of umbuntu. I am because you are. We
were people who believed in taking care of each other.
(02:08):
If our neighbors didn't have and we had, then of
course you had it. I always tell people Miss Agnes,
our neighbor across the road because we didn't have streets.
If she wanted to go in my mom's refrigerator, she could.
My brothers weren't always the kid to would, you know,
stay the course, so sometimes they would get in trouble
(02:30):
and they would get you know, end up going to jail.
But in my town, when they went to jail, my
brother came home for lunch, went back downtown, went back
to jail. So that kind of gives you a sense
of where I'm from. But HAVE always been a person
who would write what I was feeling. So as a kid,
I would write poems often because I had a lot
(02:52):
of internal things I couldn't understand. My mother thought they
were a little dark, you know. She's like, why are
you always writing about dark things? Or I remember one
poem having fun, blowing time, flunking class, getting behind, flirt
with every guy's site, and don't care if they're black
or white. But even though I was doing well in school,
internally there were some complexities, right, So I would always
(03:16):
chart my feelings and journal my feelings as I was
growing up. When I moved to Georgia, I noticed something
a little different than coming from Marianna, Arkansas. This black
girl growing up in Arkansas, still didn't understand the skin
she was in. So my second book, Lindsey Benzy Around
(03:36):
the World, where friends discovering the skin were loving the
skin we're in, was really because I didn't know how
to love the skin I was in. Right as a
black person, I was very smart in school, graduated Summa
cum laude. I did very well in school, even though
it took me a long journey to get there. But
(03:57):
I did not understand how to be black, beautiful in
this world. And so I wanted children to love the
skin they're in. So I wrote that book, Lindsey Benji
Around the World were Friends, and she goes to Scotland,
she goes to Africa, she goes to Puerto Rico, I'm sorry,
(04:18):
she goes to Peru, Puertoco. She goes to Peru, and
I wanted her to meet children around the world, so
that every child, no matter where you're from, whether you're Scotland,
where you're from Asia, India, I wanted children to not
have the same journey that I had because I didn't
see a lot of me until I came to Atlanta, Georgia,
(04:40):
and I started to see black people. You know, flourishing
to your term. And so that's my journey of writing.
And so I wrote Lindsay Benzi and My Journey to
Dear White Woman, Dear Black Woman. I started to enter
the world of social justice when I became a chaplain
of the Cap cap In Jail. I was the first
(05:01):
female chaplain to ever be staffed at the Cap County Jail.
But I started my journey with working with women. There.
You could have found me going into crackhouses getting some
of the women out of the crack house. You would
find me in the street getting women off the street,
making sure they get back to the space of their
belonging and getting to the journey of discovering their business.
(05:25):
So I started my work with women as a chaplain.
As I journeyed on became the CEO of the King Center.
My work in studying doctor King nonviolence was really instrumental
in helping me understand love as a strategy for change.
And so when I begin to understand the power of
(05:46):
transformative love, I'm also a person of faith, so I
had that as a grounding. But when I studied doctor
King and his ability to synthesize truths from whether he
was studying various jens or philosophers, the ability to synthesize
truth and come to a space of understanding how to
(06:07):
utilize what Gandhi calls softa graha, the sole force of
love to transform unjust systems. That I felt like started
giving me a little bit more power for my engine,
right And as we as women look at our role
in society to begin to change, to transform, I felt
(06:27):
it was very important for us to understand the power
of love to transform those systems. So how do we
get to this book? Dear white woman, dear black.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Wove That's what I was going to ask you.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Where's the point where you take the stories and they
become a book or you know what happens?
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Eric, go ahead, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
So it was right after George Floyd. That was a little.
That was that was not a little. It was extremely
different for me. I think it was different because we
were all sheltering place, right, and so we were all
steep when this happened. We've seen it before, but not
in stillness, and so in the stillness and quietness, you
(07:07):
begin to deal with things you've been grappling with for
a long time, and for me, deep rooted anger. I
started to understand that I had deep rooted resentment and
I was dealing with those emotions. But I knew I
couldn't just sit in those emotions. I couldn't. They didn't,
(07:28):
they were not going to serve me well. Right, So
during my time of prayer and meditation, this book literally
was like given to me. I always tell people I
am not so smart or not so brilliant that I
came up with this. It was given to me during meditation.
Meditation for me is such a powerful force, instrument and
(07:50):
my pathway of understanding and innerstanding. And so the strategy
was given to me to really invite black women and
white women into a conversation of storytelling and truth telling
for the purpose of healing. Missus King has his quotes.
It says, women, if the soul of the nation is
to be saved, I believe you must become its soul.
(08:13):
And so that so powerful to me because I believe
that women have this amazing strength and power. If we
can just begin to peel back some of the layers,
you know, and take some of the isms in anything
that's holding you in bondage to yourself, keeping you from
being your optimum self, we have to deal with those things.
(08:36):
I'm in a journey right now of dismantling my triggers
so that I can become a better person. So that's
how we got here with this project.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
One of the things that we say here, and I
think that it helps make your point, is that, you know,
if you were to take a country and try to
imagine it as a body, you know, the arms would
be this group, and the legs would be that group,
the brain would be this group, et cetera.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
You know, we've said that the soul is black women.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Black women are the soul in this country, and so,
you know, we believe that this country has a good soul.
It needs to do work on nourishing and nurturing its soul.
It needs to kind of reconnect with its soul and
the purpose of its soul. It needs to prioritize soul
work and so forth. But it does have a good soul,
(09:30):
the soul worth saving, and we credit black women for that.
Another one of the things that we say is that
black women are as close to God as we'll be
on this planet as we can be on this planet.
And so, you know, I appreciate you know, your position
on those things because you know, it provides further affirmation
(09:50):
for our baseline philosophies around here. Now, I know that
the book is probably for more than just me, So
talk to us a little bit about you know, who
you envision you know, reading the book. Who's the book
for and what do you hope to inspire in the reader?
Speaker 3 (10:09):
You know? So talk us through that part.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Yeah, So the book is for just multi layer of understanding.
So I think men meant to read this book to
understand how women in the workspace, their wives, their daughters,
their stories, what are women really dealing with. I've spoken
to a lot of men who have been so impacted
(10:35):
just by reading this book and just just shifting their paradigms,
if you would. And when you don't know, there's a
gentleman I used to work with, he said, Benita, when
you don't know, and you don't know that you're you
don't know, then you're not open to any new ideas
and so sometimes you just don't know. Uh. This book
(10:56):
is also for women, black women, why white women, all women,
because we need to understand where this issue started right
in this culture. How do we get to the root
causes If we don't begin to get to the root
causes of systemic racism, if we don't get to the
root causes of understanding what are the what's really dividing us,
(11:19):
if we don't get to the root causes of why
we're not healed, which is number one, why are we
yet not healed? And I'm hoping that this book starts
healing because when you do the inner work and you
deal with yourself first and you are healed, I'm hoping
that we as women start to work together well, so
(11:41):
healing then doing the inner work so that we can
then start to work together. Well. We're trying to transform
systems unwell. And I believe that the means exist within
the ends the means. What am I trying to say?
I believe the ends exist within the means. I guess yeah.
(12:01):
So if you're trying to get a just outcome, if
you're trying to get a love centered outcome, you've got
to use that methodology to get there, right, So you
can't go in tearing up stuff not considering people. If
you're going into a neighborhood to transform it, you can't
go in there tearing up stuff, not considering people and
think you're building a beloved community. It doesn't work like that.
(12:24):
So the short and sweet answer to your question is,
I hope that we do the work, listen to the storytelling,
do the inner work so that we can become heal,
and do the work so that we can work together. Well,
I hope that book clubs read this book. Women read
this book. Corporate leaders read this book so you can
understand what's going on in your workspace. It's a book
(12:46):
for understanding and understanding.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
I love that. Well.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
You know, as we mentioned, it's letters that are written,
you know, across racial lines, and I would imagine that
at this time in our country's history and timeline those letters,
(13:10):
you know, we're as polarized as I've ever seen as
a nation. So those letters, you know, some of them
might be be lovely and inspire hope, some of them
might be challenging. But maybe you can talk us through,
you know it. So our last election, fifty three percent
of white women, the majority, voted for Donald Trump, and
(13:34):
of Black women voted for Kamala Harris. Right, So the
vast majority of black women voted one way and a
small majority of white women voted the other way.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
So talk to us maybe about the.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Implications of this and how you've seen this manifested in
the work that you've you've completed.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Yeah, so it's interesting because I've in talking about this book,
there's to your point, a lot of black women, quite
a few have told me, Benita, I'm just not even
interested anymore. I'm tired. I don't care what white women
think at this point. And you know what I say
(14:16):
to them, I said, feel what you feel. But then
we got to get back in the game. I think
part of this work is to make sure we begin
to understand each other's stories. I was talking to a
white woman the other day at an event, and she
was angry at her mother, who voted for Donald Trump.
(14:37):
She was a supporter of Kamala Harris and so it
was about to be Mother's Day. She literally did not
want to sit down with her mom. And the first
thing I said to her, I said, I said, she's
your mom, she's your mom. Understand her story. I think
we're looking so much at the outcomes of what happened,
but we got to ask the question, to your point,
(14:59):
how do we get here? What's the why behind it?
And so I asked her, I said, what was your
mother's why do you know? And she shared it with
me what it was. I said, So what you've got
to do is begin to understand her why and love
her in spite of that, and reach beyond so that
you can say, okay, so, how do we build a
(15:20):
bridge on our common interest? We are so we are
so polarized to your point, because we're looking at all
our differences. The way you build bridges is on commonalities
and also unerstanding. I think what happened in the election
is we have refused to sit down and understand who
(15:41):
we are, why people feel what they feel. We're so judgmental.
The moment we understand somebody voted one way or the
other way, we are done. We are disengaging, and that's
not how we're going to bridge divides. I did talk
to one of the few black women who voted for Trump,
and her issue was this one particular woman had She
(16:03):
had so many abortions that she was frozen in time.
She was frozen in time, and that became her issue.
She is so pro life that she is frozen in
time because she is not what I would say, she's
not totally healed from there. And so when you understand
people's stories, you understand how they got there and maybe
(16:24):
we can deal with it from that perspective. So what
I've discovered in this work is that we're not listening
to each other. We're not trying to get an innerstanding
or an understanding of how we got there, and we're
not going to get it if we don't do the work.
A lot of us are. I said, we function from
our place of enlightenment. You function from your level of enlightenment,
(16:46):
and I function from my level of enlightenment. And that's
where people vote, that's where people practice their religion, that's
where people raise their children at the level of their enlightenment.
No matter where it is, the question is can we
do like the kids? And said, we listen, but we
don't judge. We've got to dismantle the judgment to get
to a place of innerstanding and understanding to create a
(17:09):
pathway forward. I'm just saying that we're not listening. Now
we refuse to listen.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Hey, what's up.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
This is ramses Jah and I am q Ward and
we're inviting you to subscribe to Civic Cipher, are weekly
social justice podcast right here in the app.
Speaker 5 (17:24):
We pride ourselves on creating a show that fusters allyship
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Speaker 4 (17:35):
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Speaker 5 (17:42):
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Speaker 1 (17:48):
We are here today with the chief operating Officer of
the Martin Luther King Junior Center for Non Violent Social Change,
Benita Hampton Smith. You know, I think that on the
(18:09):
one hand, I get it. I understand that fatigue. I
understand the implications of this last election. I worked very
closely with the Harris campaign, and I understand what that
campaign represented for Black women, the one group in this
(18:32):
country that has consistently and throughout the entire history of
this group's presence in this country, they have been perhaps
the lowest priority human being, and once upon a time,
this group wasn't even considered human beings. Last people to
(18:53):
get the chance to vote, the last people considered in
most every meeting that apes and has shaped this country
as Black women, and to have.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
The opportunity to see a black woman.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Reached the highest office of the land, a woman that
was the most qualified presidential candidate in the history of
this country, overlooked by mediocrity, repackaged as excellence, and we
(19:32):
already lived through that. You know, So you are, on
the one hand, you have people with short memories. On
the other hand, you have people that make excuses for
this guy. This guy was elected president after it came
out that he was saying that, you know, when your celebrity,
you can go up and just grab women by the
P word. You know, to know the cognitive dissonance and
(19:55):
the level of disconnect that people had to endure in
order to not elect a black woman. And for many
of those people, it came down to a single issue.
You know, they wanted Trump's this, or they wanted Trump's that,
or they didn't want Kamala Harris's this, or they didn't
want Kamala Harris as that.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
But the whole package in a.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Lot of black women's mind, a lot of people's mind,
was inferior by a long shot, by a considerable margin.
I understand how that can feel deflating. And on the
other hand, I do understand because of me and my
co host here Q I'm more of the optimist, he's
more of the realist.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
That's what we say.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
I understand that, you know, we do need to have
those conversations. They are important. I told this story, but
I'll share it with you in brief. I recently had
a sit down conversation with a friend of mine and
he is a friend. He's a Fox News pundit in
a journalist, and he's he's a far right, far right guy.
(21:03):
He is I wouldn't say far right, but he's definitely
a right guy. He's a trumper, all that Jewish man,
you know, white passing a white He's a white guy.
That's really the only way to say it. So we
don't feel the same way about Israel's response to the
October seventh attacks. We don't feel the same way about
(21:24):
Donald Trump. We don't feel the same way about most anything.
But I made a commitment early on in our relationship
to love him, and he made the same commitment to me.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
And so.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
And how I said it before is you know, when
he's in town, or when we're in the same place,
we'll sit down with each other and we'll share a meal,
and symbolically, you know, he'll eat from my plate, I'll
eap from his plate, and then we have a conversation,
or really we kind of argue, and I I he
(21:58):
shares his wrong opinions with me, and then I point
out how wrong his opinions are, because you know, you
need that right right. But one of the things that
I realized in that conversation is that this man is
not racist. He's not a person that hates me, doesn't
(22:19):
hate my children. He asks about my children. He's not
a person that you know. And so the first layer
of confusion and frustration whatever, that immediately dissipates because I
know I'm not dealing with an adversary, So how did
he cast a vote that casts in and of itself
a shadow.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
On my life?
Speaker 1 (22:39):
And once I start making that point to him, I
see the fact that he's prioritized himself and that he
lacked that perspective, and the only way who's ever going
to get it is through conversation. So I see both
sides of the point that you're making, and I appreciate
you making it here because again I've made this point
on this show, but you making it I think brings
(23:00):
an additional layer of validity to the narrative that we
do need to continue to fight. And I know that
Black women are not just born to fight and die.
Black women deserve happiness. Black women deserve to smile and
to play and enjoy life. But this type of fighting
(23:22):
is simply if you can't initiate a conversation. In my belief,
you can initiate a conversation, be receptive to one, and
affirm in that conversation you're humanity. If you're not the
most sophisticated, you know, political voice in the room, at
least you understand what it feels like to live life
(23:44):
under this type of administration versus under that type of administration.
Because the fact is is that there's a certain group
of people, racist people that do exist and they always
vote one way. Yeah, and under Donald Trump they feel
as embolden as they've ever felt in their life. And
those racist people do interact with you. And if you
felt that change, then you now have a perspective that
(24:07):
you can share in that in that perspective, you a
firm your humanity. Now, one of the things that you
did mention was that you know, the black women you
spoke to said that they were, you know, tired, they
were they were fatigued, and I know that that extends
a lot further than than your circle than my circle.
(24:27):
You know, maybe in your travels you've kind of come
across a couple of bits of advices, of advice or
maybe some ideas of how to deal with that fatigue.
So I want you to kind of go in a
little bit more detail there. What would you say to
people who are like I just I feel like this
(24:50):
country's given up on me, and I want to give
up give up on the country. You know, maybe some
words of encouragement, if you have them, or for that person, I.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Will do that, But first I want to honor what
you just share, because you almost move me to tears.
It's just it's the power of really our interconnectedness. And
to me what you just shared, two people who understand
that there somehow are getting there. I won't say you
understand because it sounds like your friend is you said
(25:23):
he didn't have that perspective. But as we continue to
share with each other and tell our stories, and we
see each other's humanity and discover our interconnectedness and our interrelatedness,
to me, it changes everything. And as you were sharing
it just it affirms my work because I really believe
that when we get to know each other and really
(25:46):
seek to understand each other as humans, you're not black people,
white people, Jewish people.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
That's what I said.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yeah, exactly, Yeah, and so just thank you for sharing that.
Real quick, there's this gentleman named Darryl. Have you ever
heard of Darryl who penetrated the Ku Klux Klan?
Speaker 1 (26:07):
I think so, I think I have that story. Sounds familiar.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Yeah, he didn't understand why these men didn't like him
because of his skin color. So Darryl started to go
to meet KKK meetings and he started going to meetings
and sitting down with some of the leaders. He has
probably collected over two hundred robes where they have denounced
their allegiance. They have friends, and they're doing the work
(26:35):
together because one man decided to have a conversation. So
I just want to know, Daryl Davis, thank you for that.
Daryl Davis, so being tired, I have been there, so
all of us. If you're really doing this work, you're
going to have a moment. You're going to have a
(26:56):
moment where you're gonna reckon, probably with your own soul,
maybe your belief system. Is it even worth it. Some
people decide, you know what, let me think about me,
myself and I. But for those of us who are
committed to moving humanity forward, it's so important that you
acknowledge the journey of your soul and where you are
(27:18):
in that journey. And if you are tired, if you
are worn out or burned out, or you're feeling emotionally
fatigued a you have to acknowledge that some people keep
going and that's a very very dangerous place to be
where you journey with a tired, weary soul. The most
(27:39):
important work you could do is to cultivate the work
of your soul. And so if it means you do
what you tell your children, take a time out, and
what does that timeout entail depends on where you are
in your journey. If you need professional help, you may
need to get professional help if it's something that you
can do on your own. For me, I had to
(28:01):
just stop and I spent a season of learning, relearning, unlearning.
I had to spend a whole season dealing with my
belief system. I had to spend a season feeding myself,
feeding my soul, connecting with people who matter, teachers who matter.
I had to spend a season away from it all.
(28:23):
I had to pull away from my work and really
do some soul work. And each of us have you know,
you may be in a different place. For me, I
had to unlearn some things I had hardwired, some things
that did not serve me well, and so I had
to learn to rewire my brain. I had to learn
how to learn dismantle what I call truths that end
(28:46):
up being falsities. I had to unlearn those things, even
religious things that I had learned and heartwired in my system,
I had to dismantle, and I had to relearn new things.
I had to invite in new new spaces and new
people that I wasn't comfortable with. So each of us
(29:07):
have a different space in our soul journey. But you
have to pay attention to where you are. That is
so critical, and it's so critical to stop when you
know that you are emotionally fatigued. I always I have
this saying called Haught. If you hung if you're hungry, angry, lonely,
are tired, stop, okay, Haught, Yeah, just stop and make
(29:32):
sure you pay attention to what your soul needs, because
your soul is what's going to serve you well going forward,
and it's an indicator of your overall wellness, and so
you do need to stop, take time, cultivate, get professional
help if you need it, and then do things that
will serve you well. It's so important also to make
(29:55):
sure that you understand your energy functionality. We all have
a certain level of energy sovereignty, and it's so important
that when you're engaging with others, when you are moving along,
that you're paying attention to where you are in that space,
because it's an indicator when your energy is at a
(30:15):
certain space. You got to be you have to be
sensitive enough to understand the changes internally and be very
sensitive to it. And the more we're conscious of it,
the more we're love conscious, the more we're love centered,
we'll start to navigate differently. But we must do the
work of soul cultivation.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
Sure, I love that.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
I was thinking of a question for you, and I
kind of touched on a little earlier, but I'd love
to get your thoughts here.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Who would you say has.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
The responsibility of initiating the healing that needs to take
place in terms of you know, black women and white women,
and we'll say Hispanic women too, but you know, women
because white women are kind of upright now in that
as I mentioned, the majority of white women voted for
(31:08):
what we have right now, right and black women, as
we're discussing discussing right now, a lot of black women.
I won't speak for all black women, but I've heard
that a lot of Black women are kind of enduring
that fatigue because of you know, the way that politics
has kind of shaped out, and you know, with Project
(31:30):
twenty twenty five and you know, this kind of long
term strategy of Republicans, you know, the future looks very
bleak for Black women. And so in terms of whose
responsibility it might be for initiating what healing does need
to take place, maybe maybe the question is who should
should take responsibility, But maybe the question is how does
(31:54):
how does that? How does that begin in the first place?
You know, I just your thoughts here.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Well, yeah, so I.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Will say that you and I have a different perspective
on where black women are. And I've said this to
white women. When you look at the dismailing of DEI,
black people benefited less than ten percent white women. If
they're really dismailing.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
DEI, you're the white woman they get turned.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
It's going to be white women, white women in C
suite positions, and also white women whose names have been
utilized to get loans for their husband. So when we
start to dismount DEI, I told my white girlfriends, I said,
you might want to be mindful of what's really happening
here when you start talking about you don't have control
(32:41):
of your body and you can't do what you need
to do. If you feel like you're in jeopardy with
the pregnancy, you may need to think about this. You
may need to think about who has benefited the most
off DEI. So I kind of feel a little bit like,
you know, some of this is not our fight, because
if we have benefited less than ten percent, whose fight
(33:05):
is this? That's my question? Whose fight isn't? Really? If
we're at a ten percent, you're talking about below veterans,
you're talking about below Hispanic populations, below the Asian populations,
below white women exactly. Yeah, disable people who are physically challenged,
we're at ten percent. So I want us to rethink that.
(33:27):
I think that strategically, black people in this hour, if
we really rethink our strategies. And I tell Doctor King
this all the time, I said, we got to figure
out how to get on the offense. Because there was
a time when we understand how to innovate and create
learning spaces for our children. There was a time when
we understood how to be resourceful and create jobs and
(33:52):
businesses for our community. I just think we have to
rethink the times. So I'm in a different space. I
am so for in the realm of possibilities that somebody
has to pull me into a space of reality right
about now. That's where I am. Now. When it comes
to who is responsible, I say the stronger man in
(34:12):
the arena is responsible. That may be black or white.
So if you are stronger in this time, I always
believe those who are stronger should bear the burdens are
the strength of the weak. So if I'm the stronger person,
be it black or white, then what can I do
to open a door? What can I do to make
sure that when you're at the table, if I'm the
(34:35):
strong person in the room, that I make sure you
are acknowledged, that you're represented, and that you're honored. And
so I don't think it's necessarily about any color. I
think it's about strength, power and influence, and that goes
black or white. If you're black and you have a
space of influence? What can you do for a person
of color? What can you do for your black brother
(34:57):
or sister? What can you do to ensure I tell
people not that the door is open, that the hinges
are taken off so it becomes fluid. What can you
do if you're stronger?
Speaker 3 (35:07):
Okay, all right? So so how about this then?
Speaker 1 (35:12):
For the black women who are you, know, given what
you've know and what you've learned, putting together this work?
For the black women who are kind of feeling that fatigue,
you know, if you could give one piece of advice,
not necessarily for healing, but it might be that, but
one piece of advice for like enduring we'll say that,
(35:36):
we'll use that word enduring this administration. Based on what
you've learned, what do you think would be probably the
most solid piece of advice that our listeners could could
take away from from what you've learned so far, I.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Think the most solid piece of advice I would tell
anyone is to understand what's your piece of the pie?
What are you responsible for? Each of us have a
space of influence. If you are responsible for a just
a slice in your community, then be committed to that slice.
(36:13):
Some of us are so concerned about the whole that
we're not optimizing the space we're in. So if you
do your part and make sure you do it with
greatness and excellence, and I do my part, we all
contribute to the whole. So do what you're supposed to
do well. What is your assignment, what is what is
(36:34):
your purpose? And make sure you're effective, efficient, and you
do it with excellence. Be committed to your part, your
role and your assignment, and everybody contributing to their parts,
the whole is well. So I would tell any woman, hey,
what are you called to do in this space? I
told sister yesterday, I said, you can care, but you
(36:55):
don't have to carry. You're not responsible to carry everything
that you you care about, but you are responsible for
your piece of the pie. Make sure you do it well.
So I would that would be my advice.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
I forgot who said it, but I remember seeing it recently,
and I really whoever said it deserves credit because it
was beautifully said. But the statement was, you know, I'm
not effectually What was communicated was I'm not burdened because
I'm light and light isn't heavy. I carry light with
(37:32):
me and I just love how that sounded. I think
that that kind of jibs with what you're saying now.
But you know, beautifully said, you know we no matter
what happens, you know, we all have a role in society,
and we all have a job to do. I think
that the societies that deteriorate the fastest are the ones
where people don't have a role, they don't have a
(37:53):
useful place in their in their community and their environment.
And so purpose is kind of part and parcel to
the human experience, and so kind of walking in your
purpose and focusing and doubling down on your purpose, I
could absolutely see that as being maybe the strongest piece
of advice in terms of kind of enduring.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
Like I said, I.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Would also say, though, in enduring, we also have to
I have to just keep drilling this because the only
way I'm able to stand is I'm committed daily to
my self work sure, I'm committed daily to my self love,
I'm committed daily to my personal evolution. And the more
(38:34):
I work on making sure that I'm well, that I'm
love centered, love conscious, and to your point, that I
embody light in the spaces that I go in, that's
my first priority. I cannot do anything well if I'm
not well, and so I do want to say we
always have to prioritize the inner work, your inner consciousness,
(38:55):
making sure that you're love conscious and love centered in
every space that you go in, and so prioritizing that
as you fulfill your purpose, because the only way you
can do it excellent is that you're taking care of yourself.
So prioritizes self love can look different for all of us,
but it's so important.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Yeah, you know, I think that we've kind of talked
around it, but let's let's speak to it. You know,
people need to read this book. You know, they've obviously
listened to our conversation. They can appreciate the perspective that
you're bringing. You know, before we let you go, do
us a favorite. Let folks know where they can you know,
(39:35):
get this work and and also to keep up with
you and some of the other things that you have
going on. So any sort of websites, social media is
you know, all that sort of stuff where people can
kind of get that connective tissue that they'll need.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Absolutely And I'm going to keep up with you because
you're a beautiful light. So I really appreciate this conversation,
but they can keep up with me on Benita Hamptonsmith
dot com. You can get the book at Dear White Woman,
Dear Black Woman, any space that you can find books,
whether it's Amazon Books, Million, Barnes and Noble, this book
is available.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
So yeah, and your social media, because I feel like
that is something that I'm definitely going to lock in,
but I know our listeners might want to do the same.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
I'm Bonita Hampton on Facebook. B Trice on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (40:30):
What is it? Beach Beach Price.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
B A slower case B t r C. I'm sorry,
author B Trice.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
Oh gotcha, that's it. I think I got you right here.
All right.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Well then, and because I'm over fifty, I hate to
say this, I'm more active on Facebook.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
You all, that's all right.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
We can lock in everywhere, but I wanted to make
sure that at least, you know, we had our own
link to you because again, the work that you do,
and we make it out to Atlanta quite a bit,
but you know the work.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
That we do here, it's good to have.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
Some people such as yourself that we can platform, that
we can you know, give the microphones to and bring
the audience to you know, we move around the country
quite a bit, and you know we do speaking engagements
and all that sort of stuff, But we really are
a reflection of like the light that you shine. You know,
our listeners know this, but you know, we're newer to
(41:36):
this space. You know, we're radio personalities and Q and
we're you know, DJ's and we come from like nightclubs
and that sort of thing, and you know, like your
story in twenty twenty, we recognize that, Okay, we can't
just talk on radio and just you know, have it
be party time. We have to you know, do a
little bit more than put a black square on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
So what are we going to do? What's going to
be our contribution?
Speaker 1 (41:58):
And so it kind of it has evolved to this point,
but we still continue to learn, we still continue to
be inspired, and I think that you're one such individual
that can inspire us for a long time to come.
And so, like I said, it was very important that
I make sure that I personally, you know, make the
connection on behalf of myself and of Q, who's out
(42:20):
he's in the Midwest right now doing some work, so
you know, he couldn't be on today's call but but
I can't thank you enough for your time. That even
someone like you would take the time to talk to
us over here is special, and I want to make
sure that you know that. My hope is that you know,
as you continue to do you know your work, that
you'll count us among your brothers and come back and
(42:42):
share you know your story as it continues to develop,
and other works that you do and will continue to
platform you and to you know, be your biggest cheerleaders.
So with that in mind, again, I'd like to thank
you very much for your time and your insight.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
Once again.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Today's guest is the chief operating Officer of the Martin
Luther King Junior Center for Non Violent Social Change, Benita
Hampton Smith. This has been a production of the Black
Information Network. Today's show was produced by Chris Thompson. Have
some thoughts you'd like to share, use the red microphone
talkback feature on the iHeartRadio app. While you're there, be
(43:18):
sure to hit subscribe and download all of our episodes.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
I am your host Ramsey's Jah
Speaker 1 (43:23):
On all social media and join us tomorrow as we
share our news with our voice from our perspective right
here on the Black Information Network Daily podcast
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