May 22, 2024 • 7 mins
This is a bonus clip of my conversation with Dan Curry. Eric and Dan discuss an uncomfortable talent show and his story at the MTV Movie Awards.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
With a recondredness. All right, I'll tell my bombing story
to kind of like you could make you comfort, make
you more comfort comfortable. I was in Port Arthur, Texas,
in East Texas, and I was very poor at this time.
I was like in my early twenties, doing any stand
up I could, and I did. I did what was
(00:25):
called a NAKA convention. I don't remember what it stands
for North American Campus Activities or something National National Association
of Campus Activities. I actually if you slay there on
a college kid level, if you see a career, if
you have but it's like college is a our business,
and they're just like do being eighteen year olds in
(00:46):
two chalking up the cash. So they have all this
money for campus activities. You do these like regional conventions
all over the town and like you're basically this buffet
table for some nineteen year old idiot to go, hey,
you're great, play at my college. So I did the
NAKA Convention, the Central Time Zone NAKA Convention in Little Rock, Arkansas.
(01:09):
I bombed. And then one kid was like, dude, you
got to play in my school in pat Poort Arthur Man.
He and I was like, all right, was he like,
go Port Arthur Tons. He was like, did he have
a tiger te No, he was actually like that, he
was the demon the refuse, very sweet. So he goes, yeah, come,
(01:30):
you gotta play fucking pat. I go, okay, great whatever.
I'm like twenty four years old and I'm like totally broke.
And Michellevute would do these with me too, and I
would she would see me spiral so I and then
the college just gives you a flat fee and you
got to book your own flight in your own hotel
out of the fee they gave you whatever. So and
and it's like there's no direct flight to Port Arthur,
(01:51):
Texas from New York, so you have to go on
a little like Fisher Price playing towards the end of
your journey. And then the kid picked over the school.
He's like, hey man, we got the biggest KKK population.
You could talk about that and you're stand up skids.
So I was like, oh shit, can't wait. So I
get and it was like three in the afternoon. We
land at his college and there's little like dilapidated sad
(02:16):
auditorium that looked like it was built in the eighties
and like hadn't changed a bit, looked like it still
had asbestos in the popcorn ceiling. It was just really
like rundown. And then he goes, oh, you're not doing
stand up, You're hosting a talent show. And I was like,
uh huh. And I go out into the stage and
it was like all it was like probably maybe one
(02:39):
hundred seat theater and there was like twenty people there.
It was like just like groups of people peppercart, like
scarcely packed. It's four three or four in the afternoon.
Not a good, not conducer to comedy. Nobody's paying attention.
It's moms with their kids that look like totally tired,
like they had too many kids, and like they're just
resenting life. And then and this is sad. And I'm
(03:01):
not saying this to be insensitive, but I'm just saying,
like how nonconducive this was to comedy. In the front row,
the entire front row was severely disabled children in wheelchairs
with no limbs, and they like pushed their wheelchair with
(03:21):
like by blowing it like Stephen hawk worse and Stephen
Hawking like, and they were shouting out like vocalizations throughout
the whole show, and you can't on stand up. You
want to be able to like ras everybody and make
fun of anything and call out the awkwardness in the room.
But kids with that, and there was like ten of them,
(03:42):
and kids would like that severe genetic defects. You're like,
I can't make fun I'm gonna bomb. I know I'm
going into this and I'm gonna bomb, and I definitely
can't make fun of these kids or like call out
the fact that they're like blurting out like screen and
yelling and like. But I'm like, but it's the elephant
(04:03):
in the room. So my comedy brain wants to like
make a joke about it, but I can't. I was like,
how do I throw this needle? And there's little kids
in the audience, so I can't do anything graphic or
R rated. So I'm like and I'm like, when I'm
twenty three years old, I have no g rated material.
So I just went out there and I was like,
I have no material that is for anybody in this
(04:27):
I barely had any material to begin with at that age,
but I had no material that was anything for anybody here.
So I was like, I'm just gonna talk. I'm going
to bring up these acts as quick as possible. I'm
going to jump out into the crowd and do crowd work.
And I've never bombed harder in my entire life or
(04:47):
felt more uncomfortable. And everybody instantly hated me, didn't know
what was going on, was talking amongst each other, didn't
know what my purpose was there. Only the kid that
booked me was like had like a half like a
fucking triangle face smile. And I'm still traumatized by that.
That and opening up the like fourth or fifth time
(05:08):
I opened up for Chris Rock, I bombed really really hard.
And then like celebrities go to his shows because he's
Chris Rock. He's like, you know, one of the greatest
of all time. And my agent called me, he goes,
did you bomb opening up for Chris Rock the other night?
I go yeah, and he goes yeah. Anthony Mackie was
in my office the other day and he said, you
(05:29):
were the worst stand up comic he's ever seen in
his life. I was like, oh cool, thanks. John. The
Falcon The Falcon The falcon Man Show, the guy that
fucking stands at a fucking child suit in front of
a green screen and goes there's a bad guy lasers
over there. I was so mad at Anthony Mackie. I
didn't even know who Anthony Mackey was when my my
(05:50):
agent told me that. And then I like looked him
up and I was like, I'm fucking mad at that guy.
But like in his defense, I did. I stunk it up.
Like if I saw me open up for Chris, I'd
be like, what the fuck is going on? So I
saw him. I did the MTV Movie Awards last year
or like whatever I was. I was, you're a persenter.
I was a presenter and I was nominated, So I
(06:12):
hop out of my car to do the red carpet.
But he's right in front of me. He's like, he's
on the red carpet, right in front of me. So
I was like, this is my sweet revenge. I go oh,
he was like hey, and he was like hey man.
I could tell he like recognized me but didn't know
through what. And I go, dude, you said and it
just like poured out of me. I was like, you said,
I bombed. I was the worst stand up comic you've
ever seen in your life or something. But he was
(06:33):
just like, oh, hey, what's up. Yeah, he was like heck,
oh manute away, and then he's like going down the
red carpet line and they were like, why are you
excited for me? Then they started interviewing me, and I
was like I was just like razing him the whole time,
like really that. I was like, while the interviewers were
interviewing me on the red carpet, they were like, what
(06:54):
are you doing here? Why are you here? And I
was like, you don't need to interview me, You've got
to interview superhero. And the Mackie he stands in front
of a green screen and goes, pu you Oh no,
the laser beam shot me, and I'm saying it like
so it's like an earshot of him. And I keep
everybody in every press stop on the red carpet. I'd
be like, no, no, no, it's not about me tonight.
(07:16):
It's about Anthony motherfucking Mackie. And I could tell you, like, shit,
why am I in trouble? Call me with aery condre
With a recondredness. All right, I'll tell my bombing story
to kind of like you could make you comfort, make
you more comfort comfortable. I was in Port Arthur, Texas,
in East Texas, and I was very poor at this time.
I was like in my early twenties, doing any stand
up I could, and I did. I did what was
(00:25):
called a NAKA convention. I don't remember what it stands
for North American Campus Activities or something National National Association
of Campus Activities. I actually if you slay there on
a college kid level, if you see a career, if
you have but it's like college is a our business,
and they're just like do being eighteen year olds in
(00:46):
two chalking up the cash. So they have all this
money for campus activities. You do these like regional conventions
all over the town and like you're basically this buffet
table for some nineteen year old idiot to go, hey,
you're great, play at my college. So I did the
NAKA Convention, the Central Time Zone NAKA Convention in Little Rock, Arkansas.
(01:09):
I bombed. And then one kid was like, dude, you
got to play in my school in pat Poort Arthur Man.
He and I was like, all right, was he like,
go Port Arthur Tons. He was like, did he have
a tiger te No, he was actually like that, he
was the demon the refuse, very sweet. So he goes, yeah, come,
(01:30):
you gotta play fucking pat. I go, okay, great whatever.
I'm like twenty four years old and I'm like totally broke.
And Michellevute would do these with me too, and I
would she would see me spiral so I and then
the college just gives you a flat fee and you
got to book your own flight in your own hotel
out of the fee they gave you whatever. So and
and it's like there's no direct flight to Port Arthur,
(01:51):
Texas from New York, so you have to go on
a little like Fisher Price playing towards the end of
your journey. And then the kid picked over the school.
He's like, hey man, we got the biggest KKK population.
You could talk about that and you're stand up skids.
So I was like, oh shit, can't wait. So I
get and it was like three in the afternoon. We
land at his college and there's little like dilapidated sad
(02:16):
auditorium that looked like it was built in the eighties
and like hadn't changed a bit, looked like it still
had asbestos in the popcorn ceiling. It was just really
like rundown. And then he goes, oh, you're not doing
stand up, You're hosting a talent show. And I was like,
uh huh. And I go out into the stage and
it was like all it was like probably maybe one
(02:39):
hundred seat theater and there was like twenty people there.
It was like just like groups of people peppercart, like
scarcely packed. It's four three or four in the afternoon.
Not a good, not conducer to comedy. Nobody's paying attention.
It's moms with their kids that look like totally tired,
like they had too many kids, and like they're just
resenting life. And then and this is sad. And I'm
(03:01):
not saying this to be insensitive, but I'm just saying,
like how nonconducive this was to comedy. In the front row,
the entire front row was severely disabled children in wheelchairs
with no limbs, and they like pushed their wheelchair with
(03:21):
like by blowing it like Stephen hawk worse and Stephen
Hawking like, and they were shouting out like vocalizations throughout
the whole show, and you can't on stand up. You
want to be able to like ras everybody and make
fun of anything and call out the awkwardness in the room.
But kids with that, and there was like ten of them,
(03:42):
and kids would like that severe genetic defects. You're like,
I can't make fun I'm gonna bomb. I know I'm
going into this and I'm gonna bomb, and I definitely
can't make fun of these kids or like call out
the fact that they're like blurting out like screen and
yelling and like. But I'm like, but it's the elephant
(04:03):
in the room. So my comedy brain wants to like
make a joke about it, but I can't. I was like,
how do I throw this needle? And there's little kids
in the audience, so I can't do anything graphic or
R rated. So I'm like and I'm like, when I'm
twenty three years old, I have no g rated material.
So I just went out there and I was like,
I have no material that is for anybody in this
(04:27):
I barely had any material to begin with at that age,
but I had no material that was anything for anybody here.
So I was like, I'm just gonna talk. I'm going
to bring up these acts as quick as possible. I'm
going to jump out into the crowd and do crowd work.
And I've never bombed harder in my entire life or
(04:47):
felt more uncomfortable. And everybody instantly hated me, didn't know
what was going on, was talking amongst each other, didn't
know what my purpose was there. Only the kid that
booked me was like had like a half like a
fucking triangle face smile. And I'm still traumatized by that.
That and opening up the like fourth or fifth time
(05:08):
I opened up for Chris Rock, I bombed really really hard.
And then like celebrities go to his shows because he's
Chris Rock. He's like, you know, one of the greatest
of all time. And my agent called me, he goes,
did you bomb opening up for Chris Rock the other night?
I go yeah, and he goes yeah. Anthony Mackie was
in my office the other day and he said, you
(05:29):
were the worst stand up comic he's ever seen in
his life. I was like, oh cool, thanks. John. The
Falcon The Falcon The falcon Man Show, the guy that
fucking stands at a fucking child suit in front of
a green screen and goes there's a bad guy lasers
over there. I was so mad at Anthony Mackie. I
didn't even know who Anthony Mackey was when my my
(05:50):
agent told me that. And then I like looked him
up and I was like, I'm fucking mad at that guy.
But like in his defense, I did. I stunk it up.
Like if I saw me open up for Chris, I'd
be like, what the fuck is going on? So I
saw him. I did the MTV Movie Awards last year
or like whatever I was. I was, you're a persenter.
I was a presenter and I was nominated, So I
(06:12):
hop out of my car to do the red carpet.
But he's right in front of me. He's like, he's
on the red carpet, right in front of me. So
I was like, this is my sweet revenge. I go oh,
he was like hey, and he was like hey man.
I could tell he like recognized me but didn't know
through what. And I go, dude, you said and it
just like poured out of me. I was like, you said,
I bombed. I was the worst stand up comic you've
ever seen in your life or something. But he was
(06:33):
just like, oh, hey, what's up. Yeah, he was like heck,
oh manute away, and then he's like going down the
red carpet line and they were like, why are you
excited for me? Then they started interviewing me, and I
was like I was just like razing him the whole time,
like really that. I was like, while the interviewers were
interviewing me on the red carpet, they were like, what
(06:54):
are you doing here? Why are you here? And I
was like, you don't need to interview me, You've got
to interview superhero. And the Mackie he stands in front
of a green screen and goes, pu you Oh no,
the laser beam shot me, and I'm saying it like
so it's like an earshot of him. And I keep
everybody in every press stop on the red carpet. I'd
be like, no, no, no, it's not about me tonight.
(07:16):
It's about Anthony motherfucking Mackie. And I could tell you, like, shit,
why am I in trouble? Call me with aery condre
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