June 18, 2025 • 31 mins
What kind of summer are you having this year? In today’s episode we’re hearing listeners’ love stories from summers past, from flirty flings and sexy hookups to short and sweet relationships and unexpected endings.
Do you have a boysober story to share? We'd love to hear from you! Email us a voice note at boysoberpodcast@gmail.com, or leave a voicemail at (518) 83-SOBER. Please say your name before leaving your message, and don’t forget to include your phone number in case we want to follow up. By leaving a voicemail, you are giving Boysober permission and license to use some or all of your message in our show. But if you want to be anonymous, please state that in your call.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What do you think this summer is gonna be? Do
you think it's a brat summer? Do you think it's
a hot girl summer? What's the summer for you? It
dan's all of the above.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I think we're gonna have more of an abundance mindset
this summer.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
It's for sure. Brett Summer Part two, Part two. It's
gotta be.
Speaker 4 (00:13):
It has to be.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
It's the summer that I'm trying to get over my situations.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Are we decentering men this summer?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
I'm not. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
I saw this thing on tiktook that was like, you
should live this summer like it's your last single summer,
which sounds so fun.
Speaker 5 (00:28):
It's a summer of.
Speaker 6 (00:32):
Yeah, that's what I based love so love in spite
of the.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
World against dumerism and depression.
Speaker 7 (00:41):
I mean, like, I can't change the world, but I
can at least change the lives of the people I'm
close to.
Speaker 8 (00:45):
It's gonna be my first summer of having a girlfriend
for pride.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
And I'm so excited.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
What kind of summer are you having this year? I
am having a boy sober one, but that doesn't mean
I'm not going to have fun and I support all
of y'all looking for love this summer. Today we're hearing
about love stories from summer's past. I'm hopebordered and consider
(01:14):
this boy sobers Summer kickoff. Summer is a great season
for love. Some would say the best season for love.
To fall deeply in love with someone, to have a
steamy fling, to spin out about all the sun drunk
(01:34):
decisions you made. Ooh, I love it. Those summer relationships.
They never seem to last, though, do they, But they're
so sweet while they happen. A few weeks ago, I
put out a call online for stories about your summer loves.
(01:57):
We got so many call ins about short and sweet relationships, heartbreak,
sexy hookups. I wish we could include all of them,
and I loved listening to every single one, but we've
only been able to select a few for today's episode.
And we're going to start with a story that's at
one of my favorite music festivals and ends up somewhere
(02:20):
completely different.
Speaker 9 (02:23):
My name is Alison, and Summer point twelve, I had
this crush that I had followed on Facebook for a
long time, and we finally met in person at Bonnaru
and then the next summer I found out he's going
(02:48):
to Alaska. He was going to get a job out
there for the summer, and so I wanted to follow
him because I was having a crew good time. So
I sold my car and all of my stuff and
I flew to Alaska and I lived in a tent
(03:11):
in Zelbis for a whole summer, and I slept on
a pool floating like a mattress and had like the
best summer flying ever. It was getting to be like
the end of summer and it started to get really cold.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
And we didn't have a plan of where we were
gonna go.
Speaker 9 (03:35):
But we got kicked out of this campground and we
found a school bus that was broken down at a
parking lot in the back faced like the bay, and
it had like the mountains and everything. It was just
like so beautiful. It was probably just one of the
most relaxing times in my life. I didn't have a job,
(03:55):
I had summer flaning, And when we got back, we
hung out for maybe like a couple more months, and
then we called it quits, but stayed friends.
Speaker 6 (04:12):
Hey, it's Evan. So like last weekend, I flew to
Louisville for a concert. I had a spare ticket, and
I was like, you know, screw it, I'll see what happens.
And so I updated my tender to say that I
had a spare ticket like ten minutes later. This girl's
(04:33):
match with me. She's messaged me first, and I was like,
oh cool, And so I go meet her that night
before the concert. We hang out all night. We have
such a good time together. She's incredible, she's so pretty,
she's so funny, she's so smart.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
So the next day we go to this concert.
Speaker 6 (04:59):
And we have just the best time, so much fun.
Like I've been in long summer relationships before, I don't
think I've ever had a crush on someone quite as
hard as I've had a crush on this girl. And like,
Louisville is like five hundred miles away from where I live,
(05:21):
but like I'm already thinking about, like, shit, shaw, should
I find a job in Louisville. Like, honest to god,
I'd be completely happy to work whatever job I can
get just to keep hanging out with this girl. And
like I said, it's kind of ongoing. So I'm going
to go see her on fourth of July. I don't
(05:45):
know how it's gonna end, be honest, because it's like
it's five hundred miles.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
It's a lot of distance.
Speaker 6 (05:51):
We'll figure it out.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
So in April twenty twenty two, I met Alan at
a party in the Loisa. I was about to call
my uber when we started chatting, and the conversation just
flowed so well that I ended up calling off my
uber and I actually stayed for two more hours in
the party. The connection was instantly. We were diving in
(06:19):
into talking about like energy and consciousness, and he was
a musician and a producer and a DJ and was
very much into his spiritual practices. And during the conversation
he started telling me more about the different authors that
had been very influential in his life, like Ramdas and
Alan Wattson. You know, I'm like this Mexican girl that
(06:42):
just moved to New York. So I found his insights
super interesting and he was super very handsome, so clearly
there was a vibe. And he was three years younger
than I, so I think he was like twenty seven
at the time, and it was I would say, like
(07:03):
pretty casual at the beginning until we went to like
a regional burning Man festival in July and we fell
in love or so I thought I was feeling very
connected to him, except we were not discussing how his
(07:28):
Jewish heritage and background impacted the relationship that he was
looking for. So this was like, you know, three months
in into our romans and I have a toothbrudge in
his house, I'm sleeping at his place, and then August
comes and he is going to the actual burning Man
(07:50):
and I wasn't. So I brought up the conversation about
boundaries and agreements, and it was during that conversation that
he actually disclosed that he was not ready to be
in a relationship. But you know, four months later he
(08:11):
ended up meeting another girlfriend, Columbia, who was also Jewish,
and they're now married. So yeah, it was really sad.
You know, I was so heartbroken at the time that
I started going to a Zen Buddhist temple and also
started exploring my own alternative modalities, and I ended up
(08:35):
going to a breathwork ceremony and actually ended up having
a spiritual awakening shortly after he dumped me, So you know,
spirituality was at the end of what drove us apart.
I ended up finding myself and I like to think
(08:56):
about Alan as an expander.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Vacation. Summer love is a special kind of summer love.
Travel just does something to you, whether it's exploring somewhere
completely new or visiting somewhere you have a connection to.
You can rediscover yourself while you're away from your regular life.
And that's what these next stories are all about.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
My name is Leah, and I was maybe twenty years old,
and I had just broken up with my boyfriend and
my family went on a vacation to Hawaii, and I
wanted to make some friends. So I went on to Tinder,
I want to say, and I was swiping slip from swiping,
and then I found this guy who had a bunch
(09:53):
of friends and we were like, okay, perfect, let's hang
out with some of the like Native Coina and and
so we hung out with him on the first day,
and then that evening I went on a date with him.
And I went on a date with him every night
for the rest of the trip. After my family did
all of our activities, I would go on a date
(10:15):
with him and we would lay by the beach and
look out of the stars. And I actually slept with
him on the beach and it was so romantic and
not sandy. I think he knew what he was doing.
Then on the last day, I was like bad because
I was like, oh my gosh, you're my vacation boyfriend.
I'm never going to see you again. And we were
(10:37):
looking up at the stars and he said, well, Mali
will always be here for you.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
Hi, this is Jess. You and I decided to go
home to Los Angeles, where I'm from for about a month.
Stepped my hinge and made it clear that I was
only there for a month, and I ended up matching
with this guy who's living in mar Vista, which is
(11:06):
very close to Venice, where my family lives in Los Angeles.
He was super big on like a skateboarding, longboarding, surfing.
He had like long, slippy hair, just like my ideal
sort of summer La boy. And the first day, you know,
we got food, we talked and I was like, yeah,
(11:30):
I want to kiss you. And because I was only
home for such a short time, I was very like,
this is the deal, like you know, so our second dates,
he picks me up in his Meata convertible and we
drove along pach six coast highways the top dad and
(11:54):
we're playing music and then he ends up showing me
all these different cool lookout spots in Malibu, so it
was just like very idyllic. We like sat on like
a cliff edge and watched sunset. And I also showed
him my hometown and showed him this bench that my
(12:14):
friends and I would sit on, and that's where we
had our first kiss. And we ended up, you know,
hanging out all night. We got pizza, we went to
like a pool table bar, and we went back to
his house and you know, had some fun, and I
(12:35):
remember we were lying in bed, and I knew that
this was probably last time I was going to see
him before I had to go back to New York.
And I said to him, being with you has felt
like being on vacation, because you know, I was home.
I wasn't exactly on vacation, but I got to have.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
This really fun little swing and we still keep in touch.
You're in there, send songs back and forth.
Speaker 7 (13:06):
The summer before my senior year of college, I decided
that I was going to be in au pair in Dublin,
so I flew over there and I kind of had
like an evil stepmother sort of situation with the woman
that I was working for. But on my first night out,
I met a guy and we clicked immediately, and we
started seeing each other every day when I had time
(13:29):
off and when he had time off, and so this
went on for like a couple of weeks.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
Things were really.
Speaker 7 (13:34):
Great, but my situation at home kind of got worse
and worse. I was going up to my room and
shutting the door at night, and the situation between me
and the guy sort of started to fizzle, and so
I was like, you know what, I can't do this anymore,
and I decided to go back home. And so that fall,
(13:55):
we sort of started texting a bunch, snapchatting a bunch
and develop it a really strong friendship. That kind of
turned into me not having a date for my crush party,
and I was not going to go to my crush
party senior year alone. So I asked him if he
wanted to be my date, and he said yes, So
(14:18):
he flew over, and one of the first nights we
were together, he told me that he was in love
with me and that he had to fly over and
tell me in person or it wouldn't hold any weight.
And that sort of was enough to sort of like
kick me into gear, and I was like, oh my god,
I love you too, So being long distance, we were like,
how is this going to work? I decided to get
(14:40):
a graduate visa and move to Dublin so that we'd
spend the year together, and his parents offered for us
to live in their house for the rest of my visa,
which blessings. If that's something that you have done.
Speaker 5 (14:55):
I love that for you.
Speaker 7 (14:56):
It was not great for our relationships, so the worst
I got it home, the more I started traveling, and
what came with that was the deterioration of my relationship.
So eventually I ended up moving back to New York
and he met his current wife three months later. But
you know, sometimes love just arose from the inside, and
(15:20):
we were young and we gave it a shot, and
so I am glad for that.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Hey, my name is Hannah and I'm calling in with
a summer love story. I was seeing this guy, let's
call him each We had started dating our last year
of college and we were in our little honeymoon phase
going into the summer, but very quickly after graduation, things
(15:52):
started going south in our relationship. So basically this story
comes into September. So our first football game of the
college we went to basically a tradition for graduates from
the past three years to come back for that game.
The whole weekend was kind of enough for us. I
barely could get in touch with him all day, never
(16:14):
really knew where he was, but I was bound and
determined to not make this ruin my weekend because I
was like having much fun with my friends. So I
ended up going to one of the college reunion activity
event things with a bunch of my friends. No idea
where h was. But after reunion, I ran into one
(16:34):
of my exes we'll call him the and we had
dated like two years early college. So we saw each other,
we caught up and it's like, also, by the way,
I wrote you a letter, and I was kind of like, oh, haha, whatever,
and then my friends kind of pulled me away and
we're like, let's go back, let's go to a bar
or whatever. So we leave.
Speaker 9 (16:57):
That night.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
I do not hear from age, literally have no idea
where he was. I barely slept that night because I.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Was so worried.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
Next morning, I wake up still in a text from him.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
But I do have a text.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
From the ex boy, and it's like, hey, before I
go back today, I would love to give you my letter,
and at this point I kind of was like, hey, no,
like I don't think you should come over here, because
you know, I wasn't sure when my actual boyfriend was
going to show back up. But he was like, okay,
please just like let me take you for a short
drives in, like I need to give this to you.
So I kind of break down and I'm like, yes, sure.
(17:31):
He picks me up. He gives me this letter. I
read it and yes, it is a please take me back.
I know you're dating somebody else, but like for the
past year, I like have not been able to stop
thinking about you. I can't imagine like living my life
without you. He's like I went to therapy, like all
of this stuff I had no idea about. I'm like
(17:52):
literally stopping reading this letter and I'm not even timing.
By the end of the letter, I get a text
from my boyfriend saying sorry, my son died. I'm at
my sister's apartment and so at this point, I'm like
literally freaking out and he was like seeing me cry,
and it's like, how can I help? How can I help?
(18:12):
And I'm like, you can help by getting out of
my car so I can go pick my bucket, front up.
I will talk to you about this later. I pick
up h I start having a pan attack. He's like,
what is happening? And basically I'm like, we need to
break up. The letter doesn't come up. It wasn't that
I didn't want to tell I'm about the latter, but
he was already out of wits end too, I think,
and was like, yeah, I think we.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Need to too.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
So immediately fifteen minutes after I read that letter, we
break up. Not necessarily because it's a letter, but everything
was just kind of coming.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
To a head.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
I start talking to the v X man and I
promise him nothing. Basically, he lives in La. I live
in Virginia. But we start talking and months go by.
It's January at this point, and he's like, I will
buy you a tan get like rounds.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Apt to La.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
You can stay with me, just come out here for
a couple days, and like, I would just love to
see you. So he slies me to La and since
then we have kept talking and kept seeing each other.
He has blown me to London. He has blown me
to La multiple times. He has given me a metal
MX credit card with his name on it. We are
(19:23):
not even technically dating. But yeah, life is good and
I kind of have that's the both worlds with a
pin pal in La who likes to sidey places, and
I'm also a single springles.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
After all this, I think it's time to tell you
about one of my summer love stories. I was nineteen,
it was spring break in Gulf Shores, Alabama, and anything
felt possible. One night, I was out with some girl friends,
drinking too much, chasing the promise of something a boyfriend,
(20:05):
a wristband, maybe just a kiss. And that's where I
met someone, a short king with beautiful curls, just my type.
He was on the back porch of a house party,
smoking an American spirit and sipping something nasty like a
Natty light. I'm sure. We started talking about music, though,
(20:27):
and he loved the same bands as me, Mac DeMarco,
Neutral Milk, Hotel, Courtney Barnett. He seemed nicer, smarter, and
cooler than all the boys. I knew there was something
so delicious about the newness of him. He walked me
back to my beach house, where all of my friends
were already inside and asleep. When we got to the
(20:50):
door of the house, I leaned in for a kiss,
but he dodged me. He pulled me in for some
kind of weird hug instead. My ego was a little bruised,
and honestly, I thought I would never really hear from
him again, and I had mostly forgotten about him until
about a year later, I got a message on Facebook.
(21:14):
It was him admitting that on the night he walked
me home, he had a girlfriend who he had since
broken up with. He told me he had an extra
ticket to Austin City limits, and if I flew to Austin,
the ticket could be mine. I booked a flight, no
second thoughts. A few weeks later he was picking me
up from the airport. It was quintessential twenty seventeen bliss.
(21:39):
We sang rivers and roads by the head and the heart.
He took me to vintage stores and we had breakfast tacos,
a sweet, simple summer tryst. When I left Austin, we
stayed in touch, but we never quite recaptured that feeling
of the first night or that weekend.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Really.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
He tried to meet me again at another music festival, Bonnerou,
But Bonnerou wasn't a fantasy. I wasn't on a beach
in Alabama or removed from my real life in Austin, Texas.
Bonnerou's in my hometown. It's in Tennessee. My people were there,
my other flirtationships. The truth is I liked the idea
(22:20):
of him way more than I liked the reality of
being chosen by him, because when it got too real,
when he flew to an entire festival to just see
me this time, I panicked. We ended up having kind
of an intense breakup in the middle of the festival,
where he yelled at me and said I only came
(22:42):
here to see you, and I yelled at him and said, well,
I didn't ask you to do that. We've stayed in
touch ever since. He lives in New York now, and
of course I wonder about the potential, and I wonder
if he'll ever want to walk me home again. Summer
(23:07):
can also be a time when you try new identities
on experiment, and whether it turns out well or not,
you learn something new about yourself from it. That's the risk.
The callers in these next stories took HI.
Speaker 8 (23:22):
My name is Lily, and this is a story.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
That's how I fell for.
Speaker 8 (23:26):
The one person I never should have fallen for in
the summer I spent working at the fishing Lodge.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
I'm nineteen years old.
Speaker 8 (23:32):
I've just finished up my second year's university, and I
grew up in the States that went to school in
Canada since I'm a citizen and it's so much cheaper.
The summer before, I'd worked out in Squamish, a small
from all of the town just before with our British
Columbia on the city of sky Highway. I've done was
a few friends from school, But this following summer I
wanted something different. I wanted to go somewhere where I
(23:53):
knewed nobody and nobody knew me. So in April world
around and I still didn't have a job. The fishing
lodge offer somehow just ended up in my lap. I
heard that the pay was good and the guest spend
a lot of money, almost thousands to be there. Housing
and food was included, and I was told there would
be lots of other college aged kids, and most importantly,
there would be a staff bar and a pool table
(24:13):
at a patio.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
So I was sold. I took two flights and.
Speaker 8 (24:17):
A boat ride to get over to this tiny Canadian
island located right next to Alaska. It was fucking freezing.
I was hired as a housekeeper and a dining room server,
so I spent my mornings changing seats and washing towels,
and in the evening I was running around the dining
room and trying to perfect my questionable warrane service skills.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
But every night I'd finished.
Speaker 8 (24:35):
Up around ten or eleven PM and book it to.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
The staff bar.
Speaker 8 (24:38):
There would be all the other staff members, like the
maintenance people, the breakfast servers, the dock staff, and of
course the fishing guides.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
I met one.
Speaker 8 (24:45):
He was a little bit older than I was, but
compared to all the other fishing guides, who are very much,
you know, outdoors men conservative, he was a little bit
more understanding and a little bit hinder as well. So
we spent that summer together, and I always knew that
it was going to be over, and I always knew
that I had to go back to school and he
(25:06):
had to go back to his real life. And I
think what makes summer love so special like this one
is that it was just completely new. I had never
done a type of seasonal job by myself before, and
it was all so exciting, and he was so much
older and I think there's this maiveness with summer love
that really.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Is cherished because.
Speaker 8 (25:25):
It's just different and it's just special, and it feels
like you just can't wrap your head around the fact
that the summer is going to be over. And so
well the romance we spent the time together. His ex
girlfriend was on the island too. She made my life
a living hell. And when I left the lodge, I
(25:47):
found out that he had had another girlfriend pretty much
the whole time back at home, and.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
That's how it all ended.
Speaker 8 (25:54):
It was tough too, because for me, what was so
special and such a new expels experience, and you know,
as a Christian girl having sex the first one.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
That was so important to me.
Speaker 8 (26:06):
And he had broken my Virgin Mary necklace by accident
when we were walking up, and it felt like this
whole big seal for me and for him it was
just the summer saying while he still had another girlfriend
back at home, Hi.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
This is Emmy. For the sake of this person's privacy,
I'm going to refer to them as John Down. So
once upon time last year in DC, I was a
political science major in college, and this was my last
summer where I had to do an internship, and I
was thinking about moving to DC because working for senators,
(26:51):
working for the government, I thought Kamala was going to win,
and so I was feeling really optimistic about possibly moving there.
And so I thought, Okay, if I'm going to live
here and I'm single, i'm young, i'm fun. You know,
I've got no attachments right now, why don't I go
ahead and try and date around. I started going on
(27:12):
a few dates with these guys, and then they like
it just got really boring or people were ghosting me
and fleaking, and DC dating seemed terrible awful. Those women
are in the trenches. My thoughts and prayers go to them,
and says like, Okay, if I'm not going to find
any people my age, I might as well just like
(27:33):
have some fun with it. You know, I'm twenty one right,
twenty twenty two, and like a few days, by the
way expanded my age range went from twenty two to thirty,
and then I was like, okay, this isn't really working.
Thirty to forty thirty year old men, by the way,
(27:53):
terrible the most perverted age group I had interacted with
while I was on there, which does a lot given
what I'm about to say forty to fifty not great
in a little bit of a crisis. They need help.
Definitely not the move. And then at some point I
just said, fuck it, let's do fifty to eighty plus.
(28:18):
Tell me why I match with this man, John Doe
fifty eight. He and I match, and I'm like, Okay,
maybe he's going to be really weird. Maybe this is
going to be terrible. And here's the thing I just
want to say, for the record, at no point did
I say, Okay, this is going to go somewhere. I'm
(28:39):
gonna marry this man. I want a relationship. No, no, no, no, no, ma'am.
It is summer. I'm here to have fun. I'm here
to do things for the plot. I'm never gonna see
this man again. I don't even really know what or
not I want to give this man my real name.
But I end up going on a date with him
and tell me why this Like six two six four
(29:00):
silver Fox he called me before we went on our date,
being like, you know, I just want to make sure,
like this is something that you want consent. King kept
like asking me for reassurance about whether or not, like
this is something that I wanted to do, and that
if I was uncomfortable, he would get me a car
for to like leave, So nice, so respectful, wanted him
(29:22):
the moment that I saw him down that astronomically anyways,
long your shirt. We ended up sleeping toil thought that
he would need viagra. He did not trust. He did not.
Second time, my last night in DC, phenomenal. Top three
times I've ever had sex. If not number two or
(29:45):
number one? Hard to say, but yeah, John Doe, fifty eight, Noil.
I missed you and you recently submitted a friend request
to me on Facebook and that was a little bit
weird by your respect the fact that you respected my boundary,
which is not following me on Instagram. But now we're
(30:08):
Facebook friends and is that flirting for fifty eight year
old men? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Oh wow, that story was amazing. Congratulations on setting your boundaries.
And I should say yes, that fifty eight year old
was definitely flirting when he added you as a Facebook friend,
and I totally support accepting that invitation. Thank you everyone
for sending in your stories. If you have any kind
(30:43):
of story about dating or relationships that you want to
share with us, call our hotline at five one, eight, eight,
three seven, six two three seven. I'll talk to you
next week and have a great summer. Boy Sover is
(31:08):
a production of iHeart Podcasts. I'm your host Hope Bordered.
Our executive producers are Christina Everett and Julie Pinero. Our
supervising producer is Emily Meronoff engineering by Bahid Fraser and
mixing and mastering by Aboo Zafar. If you liked this episode,
please tell a friend and don't forget to rate, review,
(31:29):
and subscribe to boy sob on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
and wherever you get your favorite shows. Hags
What do you think this summer is gonna be? Do
you think it's a brat summer? Do you think it's
a hot girl summer? What's the summer for you? It
dan's all of the above.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I think we're gonna have more of an abundance mindset
this summer.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
It's for sure. Brett Summer Part two, Part two. It's
gotta be.
Speaker 4 (00:13):
It has to be.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
It's the summer that I'm trying to get over my situations.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Are we decentering men this summer?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
I'm not. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
I saw this thing on tiktook that was like, you
should live this summer like it's your last single summer,
which sounds so fun.
Speaker 5 (00:28):
It's a summer of.
Speaker 6 (00:32):
Yeah, that's what I based love so love in spite
of the.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
World against dumerism and depression.
Speaker 7 (00:41):
I mean, like, I can't change the world, but I
can at least change the lives of the people I'm
close to.
Speaker 8 (00:45):
It's gonna be my first summer of having a girlfriend
for pride.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
And I'm so excited.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
What kind of summer are you having this year? I
am having a boy sober one, but that doesn't mean
I'm not going to have fun and I support all
of y'all looking for love this summer. Today we're hearing
about love stories from summer's past. I'm hopebordered and consider
(01:14):
this boy sobers Summer kickoff. Summer is a great season
for love. Some would say the best season for love.
To fall deeply in love with someone, to have a
steamy fling, to spin out about all the sun drunk
(01:34):
decisions you made. Ooh, I love it. Those summer relationships.
They never seem to last, though, do they, But they're
so sweet while they happen. A few weeks ago, I
put out a call online for stories about your summer loves.
(01:57):
We got so many call ins about short and sweet relationships, heartbreak,
sexy hookups. I wish we could include all of them,
and I loved listening to every single one, but we've
only been able to select a few for today's episode.
And we're going to start with a story that's at
one of my favorite music festivals and ends up somewhere
(02:20):
completely different.
Speaker 9 (02:23):
My name is Alison, and Summer point twelve, I had
this crush that I had followed on Facebook for a
long time, and we finally met in person at Bonnaru
and then the next summer I found out he's going
(02:48):
to Alaska. He was going to get a job out
there for the summer, and so I wanted to follow
him because I was having a crew good time. So
I sold my car and all of my stuff and
I flew to Alaska and I lived in a tent
(03:11):
in Zelbis for a whole summer, and I slept on
a pool floating like a mattress and had like the
best summer flying ever. It was getting to be like
the end of summer and it started to get really cold.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
And we didn't have a plan of where we were
gonna go.
Speaker 9 (03:35):
But we got kicked out of this campground and we
found a school bus that was broken down at a
parking lot in the back faced like the bay, and
it had like the mountains and everything. It was just
like so beautiful. It was probably just one of the
most relaxing times in my life. I didn't have a job,
(03:55):
I had summer flaning, And when we got back, we
hung out for maybe like a couple more months, and
then we called it quits, but stayed friends.
Speaker 6 (04:12):
Hey, it's Evan. So like last weekend, I flew to
Louisville for a concert. I had a spare ticket, and
I was like, you know, screw it, I'll see what happens.
And so I updated my tender to say that I
had a spare ticket like ten minutes later. This girl's
(04:33):
match with me. She's messaged me first, and I was like,
oh cool, And so I go meet her that night
before the concert. We hang out all night. We have
such a good time together. She's incredible, she's so pretty,
she's so funny, she's so smart.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
So the next day we go to this concert.
Speaker 6 (04:59):
And we have just the best time, so much fun.
Like I've been in long summer relationships before, I don't
think I've ever had a crush on someone quite as
hard as I've had a crush on this girl. And like,
Louisville is like five hundred miles away from where I live,
(05:21):
but like I'm already thinking about, like, shit, shaw, should
I find a job in Louisville. Like, honest to god,
I'd be completely happy to work whatever job I can
get just to keep hanging out with this girl. And
like I said, it's kind of ongoing. So I'm going
to go see her on fourth of July. I don't
(05:45):
know how it's gonna end, be honest, because it's like
it's five hundred miles.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
It's a lot of distance.
Speaker 6 (05:51):
We'll figure it out.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
So in April twenty twenty two, I met Alan at
a party in the Loisa. I was about to call
my uber when we started chatting, and the conversation just
flowed so well that I ended up calling off my
uber and I actually stayed for two more hours in
the party. The connection was instantly. We were diving in
(06:19):
into talking about like energy and consciousness, and he was
a musician and a producer and a DJ and was
very much into his spiritual practices. And during the conversation
he started telling me more about the different authors that
had been very influential in his life, like Ramdas and
Alan Wattson. You know, I'm like this Mexican girl that
(06:42):
just moved to New York. So I found his insights
super interesting and he was super very handsome, so clearly
there was a vibe. And he was three years younger
than I, so I think he was like twenty seven
at the time, and it was I would say, like
(07:03):
pretty casual at the beginning until we went to like
a regional burning Man festival in July and we fell
in love or so I thought I was feeling very
connected to him, except we were not discussing how his
(07:28):
Jewish heritage and background impacted the relationship that he was
looking for. So this was like, you know, three months
in into our romans and I have a toothbrudge in
his house, I'm sleeping at his place, and then August
comes and he is going to the actual burning Man
(07:50):
and I wasn't. So I brought up the conversation about
boundaries and agreements, and it was during that conversation that
he actually disclosed that he was not ready to be
in a relationship. But you know, four months later he
(08:11):
ended up meeting another girlfriend, Columbia, who was also Jewish,
and they're now married. So yeah, it was really sad.
You know, I was so heartbroken at the time that
I started going to a Zen Buddhist temple and also
started exploring my own alternative modalities, and I ended up
(08:35):
going to a breathwork ceremony and actually ended up having
a spiritual awakening shortly after he dumped me, So you know,
spirituality was at the end of what drove us apart.
I ended up finding myself and I like to think
(08:56):
about Alan as an expander.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Vacation. Summer love is a special kind of summer love.
Travel just does something to you, whether it's exploring somewhere
completely new or visiting somewhere you have a connection to.
You can rediscover yourself while you're away from your regular life.
And that's what these next stories are all about.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
My name is Leah, and I was maybe twenty years old,
and I had just broken up with my boyfriend and
my family went on a vacation to Hawaii, and I
wanted to make some friends. So I went on to Tinder,
I want to say, and I was swiping slip from swiping,
and then I found this guy who had a bunch
(09:53):
of friends and we were like, okay, perfect, let's hang
out with some of the like Native Coina and and
so we hung out with him on the first day,
and then that evening I went on a date with him.
And I went on a date with him every night
for the rest of the trip. After my family did
all of our activities, I would go on a date
(10:15):
with him and we would lay by the beach and
look out of the stars. And I actually slept with
him on the beach and it was so romantic and
not sandy. I think he knew what he was doing.
Then on the last day, I was like bad because
I was like, oh my gosh, you're my vacation boyfriend.
I'm never going to see you again. And we were
(10:37):
looking up at the stars and he said, well, Mali
will always be here for you.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
Hi, this is Jess. You and I decided to go
home to Los Angeles, where I'm from for about a month.
Stepped my hinge and made it clear that I was
only there for a month, and I ended up matching
with this guy who's living in mar Vista, which is
(11:06):
very close to Venice, where my family lives in Los Angeles.
He was super big on like a skateboarding, longboarding, surfing.
He had like long, slippy hair, just like my ideal
sort of summer La boy. And the first day, you know,
we got food, we talked and I was like, yeah,
(11:30):
I want to kiss you. And because I was only
home for such a short time, I was very like,
this is the deal, like you know, so our second dates,
he picks me up in his Meata convertible and we
drove along pach six coast highways the top dad and
(11:54):
we're playing music and then he ends up showing me
all these different cool lookout spots in Malibu, so it
was just like very idyllic. We like sat on like
a cliff edge and watched sunset. And I also showed
him my hometown and showed him this bench that my
(12:14):
friends and I would sit on, and that's where we
had our first kiss. And we ended up, you know,
hanging out all night. We got pizza, we went to
like a pool table bar, and we went back to
his house and you know, had some fun, and I
(12:35):
remember we were lying in bed, and I knew that
this was probably last time I was going to see
him before I had to go back to New York.
And I said to him, being with you has felt
like being on vacation, because you know, I was home.
I wasn't exactly on vacation, but I got to have.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
This really fun little swing and we still keep in touch.
You're in there, send songs back and forth.
Speaker 7 (13:06):
The summer before my senior year of college, I decided
that I was going to be in au pair in Dublin,
so I flew over there and I kind of had
like an evil stepmother sort of situation with the woman
that I was working for. But on my first night out,
I met a guy and we clicked immediately, and we
started seeing each other every day when I had time
(13:29):
off and when he had time off, and so this
went on for like a couple of weeks.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
Things were really.
Speaker 7 (13:34):
Great, but my situation at home kind of got worse
and worse. I was going up to my room and
shutting the door at night, and the situation between me
and the guy sort of started to fizzle, and so
I was like, you know what, I can't do this anymore,
and I decided to go back home. And so that fall,
(13:55):
we sort of started texting a bunch, snapchatting a bunch
and develop it a really strong friendship. That kind of
turned into me not having a date for my crush party,
and I was not going to go to my crush
party senior year alone. So I asked him if he
wanted to be my date, and he said yes, So
(14:18):
he flew over, and one of the first nights we
were together, he told me that he was in love
with me and that he had to fly over and
tell me in person or it wouldn't hold any weight.
And that sort of was enough to sort of like
kick me into gear, and I was like, oh my god,
I love you too, So being long distance, we were like,
how is this going to work? I decided to get
(14:40):
a graduate visa and move to Dublin so that we'd
spend the year together, and his parents offered for us
to live in their house for the rest of my visa,
which blessings. If that's something that you have done.
Speaker 5 (14:55):
I love that for you.
Speaker 7 (14:56):
It was not great for our relationships, so the worst
I got it home, the more I started traveling, and
what came with that was the deterioration of my relationship.
So eventually I ended up moving back to New York
and he met his current wife three months later. But
you know, sometimes love just arose from the inside, and
(15:20):
we were young and we gave it a shot, and
so I am glad for that.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Hey, my name is Hannah and I'm calling in with
a summer love story. I was seeing this guy, let's
call him each We had started dating our last year
of college and we were in our little honeymoon phase
going into the summer, but very quickly after graduation, things
(15:52):
started going south in our relationship. So basically this story
comes into September. So our first football game of the
college we went to basically a tradition for graduates from
the past three years to come back for that game.
The whole weekend was kind of enough for us. I
barely could get in touch with him all day, never
(16:14):
really knew where he was, but I was bound and
determined to not make this ruin my weekend because I
was like having much fun with my friends. So I
ended up going to one of the college reunion activity
event things with a bunch of my friends. No idea
where h was. But after reunion, I ran into one
(16:34):
of my exes we'll call him the and we had
dated like two years early college. So we saw each other,
we caught up and it's like, also, by the way,
I wrote you a letter, and I was kind of like, oh, haha, whatever,
and then my friends kind of pulled me away and
we're like, let's go back, let's go to a bar
or whatever. So we leave.
Speaker 9 (16:57):
That night.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
I do not hear from age, literally have no idea
where he was. I barely slept that night because I.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Was so worried.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
Next morning, I wake up still in a text from him.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
But I do have a text.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
From the ex boy, and it's like, hey, before I
go back today, I would love to give you my letter,
and at this point I kind of was like, hey, no,
like I don't think you should come over here, because
you know, I wasn't sure when my actual boyfriend was
going to show back up. But he was like, okay,
please just like let me take you for a short
drives in, like I need to give this to you.
So I kind of break down and I'm like, yes, sure.
(17:31):
He picks me up. He gives me this letter. I
read it and yes, it is a please take me back.
I know you're dating somebody else, but like for the
past year, I like have not been able to stop
thinking about you. I can't imagine like living my life
without you. He's like I went to therapy, like all
of this stuff I had no idea about. I'm like
(17:52):
literally stopping reading this letter and I'm not even timing.
By the end of the letter, I get a text
from my boyfriend saying sorry, my son died. I'm at
my sister's apartment and so at this point, I'm like
literally freaking out and he was like seeing me cry,
and it's like, how can I help? How can I help?
(18:12):
And I'm like, you can help by getting out of
my car so I can go pick my bucket, front up.
I will talk to you about this later. I pick
up h I start having a pan attack. He's like,
what is happening? And basically I'm like, we need to
break up. The letter doesn't come up. It wasn't that
I didn't want to tell I'm about the latter, but
he was already out of wits end too, I think,
and was like, yeah, I think we.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Need to too.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
So immediately fifteen minutes after I read that letter, we
break up. Not necessarily because it's a letter, but everything
was just kind of coming.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
To a head.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
I start talking to the v X man and I
promise him nothing. Basically, he lives in La. I live
in Virginia. But we start talking and months go by.
It's January at this point, and he's like, I will
buy you a tan get like rounds.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Apt to La.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
You can stay with me, just come out here for
a couple days, and like, I would just love to
see you. So he slies me to La and since
then we have kept talking and kept seeing each other.
He has blown me to London. He has blown me
to La multiple times. He has given me a metal
MX credit card with his name on it. We are
(19:23):
not even technically dating. But yeah, life is good and
I kind of have that's the both worlds with a
pin pal in La who likes to sidey places, and
I'm also a single springles.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
After all this, I think it's time to tell you
about one of my summer love stories. I was nineteen,
it was spring break in Gulf Shores, Alabama, and anything
felt possible. One night, I was out with some girl friends,
drinking too much, chasing the promise of something a boyfriend,
(20:05):
a wristband, maybe just a kiss. And that's where I
met someone, a short king with beautiful curls, just my type.
He was on the back porch of a house party,
smoking an American spirit and sipping something nasty like a
Natty light. I'm sure. We started talking about music, though,
(20:27):
and he loved the same bands as me, Mac DeMarco,
Neutral Milk, Hotel, Courtney Barnett. He seemed nicer, smarter, and
cooler than all the boys. I knew there was something
so delicious about the newness of him. He walked me
back to my beach house, where all of my friends
were already inside and asleep. When we got to the
(20:50):
door of the house, I leaned in for a kiss,
but he dodged me. He pulled me in for some
kind of weird hug instead. My ego was a little bruised,
and honestly, I thought I would never really hear from
him again, and I had mostly forgotten about him until
about a year later, I got a message on Facebook.
(21:14):
It was him admitting that on the night he walked
me home, he had a girlfriend who he had since
broken up with. He told me he had an extra
ticket to Austin City limits, and if I flew to Austin,
the ticket could be mine. I booked a flight, no
second thoughts. A few weeks later he was picking me
up from the airport. It was quintessential twenty seventeen bliss.
(21:39):
We sang rivers and roads by the head and the heart.
He took me to vintage stores and we had breakfast tacos,
a sweet, simple summer tryst. When I left Austin, we
stayed in touch, but we never quite recaptured that feeling
of the first night or that weekend.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Really.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
He tried to meet me again at another music festival, Bonnerou,
But Bonnerou wasn't a fantasy. I wasn't on a beach
in Alabama or removed from my real life in Austin, Texas.
Bonnerou's in my hometown. It's in Tennessee. My people were there,
my other flirtationships. The truth is I liked the idea
(22:20):
of him way more than I liked the reality of
being chosen by him, because when it got too real,
when he flew to an entire festival to just see
me this time, I panicked. We ended up having kind
of an intense breakup in the middle of the festival,
where he yelled at me and said I only came
(22:42):
here to see you, and I yelled at him and said, well,
I didn't ask you to do that. We've stayed in
touch ever since. He lives in New York now, and
of course I wonder about the potential, and I wonder
if he'll ever want to walk me home again. Summer
(23:07):
can also be a time when you try new identities
on experiment, and whether it turns out well or not,
you learn something new about yourself from it. That's the risk.
The callers in these next stories took HI.
Speaker 8 (23:22):
My name is Lily, and this is a story.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
That's how I fell for.
Speaker 8 (23:26):
The one person I never should have fallen for in
the summer I spent working at the fishing Lodge.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
I'm nineteen years old.
Speaker 8 (23:32):
I've just finished up my second year's university, and I
grew up in the States that went to school in
Canada since I'm a citizen and it's so much cheaper.
The summer before, I'd worked out in Squamish, a small
from all of the town just before with our British
Columbia on the city of sky Highway. I've done was
a few friends from school, But this following summer I
wanted something different. I wanted to go somewhere where I
(23:53):
knewed nobody and nobody knew me. So in April world
around and I still didn't have a job. The fishing
lodge offer somehow just ended up in my lap. I
heard that the pay was good and the guest spend
a lot of money, almost thousands to be there. Housing
and food was included, and I was told there would
be lots of other college aged kids, and most importantly,
there would be a staff bar and a pool table
(24:13):
at a patio.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
So I was sold. I took two flights and.
Speaker 8 (24:17):
A boat ride to get over to this tiny Canadian
island located right next to Alaska. It was fucking freezing.
I was hired as a housekeeper and a dining room server,
so I spent my mornings changing seats and washing towels,
and in the evening I was running around the dining
room and trying to perfect my questionable warrane service skills.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
But every night I'd finished.
Speaker 8 (24:35):
Up around ten or eleven PM and book it to.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
The staff bar.
Speaker 8 (24:38):
There would be all the other staff members, like the
maintenance people, the breakfast servers, the dock staff, and of
course the fishing guides.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
I met one.
Speaker 8 (24:45):
He was a little bit older than I was, but
compared to all the other fishing guides, who are very much,
you know, outdoors men conservative, he was a little bit
more understanding and a little bit hinder as well. So
we spent that summer together, and I always knew that
it was going to be over, and I always knew
that I had to go back to school and he
(25:06):
had to go back to his real life. And I
think what makes summer love so special like this one
is that it was just completely new. I had never
done a type of seasonal job by myself before, and
it was all so exciting, and he was so much
older and I think there's this maiveness with summer love
that really.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Is cherished because.
Speaker 8 (25:25):
It's just different and it's just special, and it feels
like you just can't wrap your head around the fact
that the summer is going to be over. And so
well the romance we spent the time together. His ex
girlfriend was on the island too. She made my life
a living hell. And when I left the lodge, I
(25:47):
found out that he had had another girlfriend pretty much
the whole time back at home, and.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
That's how it all ended.
Speaker 8 (25:54):
It was tough too, because for me, what was so
special and such a new expels experience, and you know,
as a Christian girl having sex the first one.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
That was so important to me.
Speaker 8 (26:06):
And he had broken my Virgin Mary necklace by accident
when we were walking up, and it felt like this
whole big seal for me and for him it was
just the summer saying while he still had another girlfriend
back at home, Hi.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
This is Emmy. For the sake of this person's privacy,
I'm going to refer to them as John Down. So
once upon time last year in DC, I was a
political science major in college, and this was my last
summer where I had to do an internship, and I
was thinking about moving to DC because working for senators,
(26:51):
working for the government, I thought Kamala was going to win,
and so I was feeling really optimistic about possibly moving there.
And so I thought, Okay, if I'm going to live
here and I'm single, i'm young, i'm fun. You know,
I've got no attachments right now, why don't I go
ahead and try and date around. I started going on
(27:12):
a few dates with these guys, and then they like
it just got really boring or people were ghosting me
and fleaking, and DC dating seemed terrible awful. Those women
are in the trenches. My thoughts and prayers go to them,
and says like, Okay, if I'm not going to find
any people my age, I might as well just like
(27:33):
have some fun with it. You know, I'm twenty one right,
twenty twenty two, and like a few days, by the
way expanded my age range went from twenty two to thirty,
and then I was like, okay, this isn't really working.
Thirty to forty thirty year old men, by the way,
(27:53):
terrible the most perverted age group I had interacted with
while I was on there, which does a lot given
what I'm about to say forty to fifty not great
in a little bit of a crisis. They need help.
Definitely not the move. And then at some point I
just said, fuck it, let's do fifty to eighty plus.
(28:18):
Tell me why I match with this man, John Doe
fifty eight. He and I match, and I'm like, Okay,
maybe he's going to be really weird. Maybe this is
going to be terrible. And here's the thing I just
want to say, for the record, at no point did
I say, Okay, this is going to go somewhere. I'm
(28:39):
gonna marry this man. I want a relationship. No, no, no, no, no, ma'am.
It is summer. I'm here to have fun. I'm here
to do things for the plot. I'm never gonna see
this man again. I don't even really know what or
not I want to give this man my real name.
But I end up going on a date with him
and tell me why this Like six two six four
(29:00):
silver Fox he called me before we went on our date,
being like, you know, I just want to make sure,
like this is something that you want consent. King kept
like asking me for reassurance about whether or not, like
this is something that I wanted to do, and that
if I was uncomfortable, he would get me a car
for to like leave, So nice, so respectful, wanted him
(29:22):
the moment that I saw him down that astronomically anyways,
long your shirt. We ended up sleeping toil thought that
he would need viagra. He did not trust. He did not.
Second time, my last night in DC, phenomenal. Top three
times I've ever had sex. If not number two or
(29:45):
number one? Hard to say, but yeah, John Doe, fifty eight, Noil.
I missed you and you recently submitted a friend request
to me on Facebook and that was a little bit
weird by your respect the fact that you respected my boundary,
which is not following me on Instagram. But now we're
(30:08):
Facebook friends and is that flirting for fifty eight year
old men? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Oh wow, that story was amazing. Congratulations on setting your boundaries.
And I should say yes, that fifty eight year old
was definitely flirting when he added you as a Facebook friend,
and I totally support accepting that invitation. Thank you everyone
for sending in your stories. If you have any kind
(30:43):
of story about dating or relationships that you want to
share with us, call our hotline at five one, eight, eight,
three seven, six two three seven. I'll talk to you
next week and have a great summer. Boy Sover is
(31:08):
a production of iHeart Podcasts. I'm your host Hope Bordered.
Our executive producers are Christina Everett and Julie Pinero. Our
supervising producer is Emily Meronoff engineering by Bahid Fraser and
mixing and mastering by Aboo Zafar. If you liked this episode,
please tell a friend and don't forget to rate, review,
(31:29):
and subscribe to boy sob on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
and wherever you get your favorite shows. Hags
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