November 5, 2025 • 34 mins
Can men and women really just be friends? That’s the question at the heart of this week's Boysober Rom-Com Roundtable. Comedians Nikki Martin and Andy Spector help break down the iconic When Harry Met Sally—and all the messy, funny, and heartfelt truths about love and friendship it brings up.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Did you know what planes they don't do the orgasm scene.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Really, they cut it off right before.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
That's so shocking to me because then it's r rated. Well,
I just feel like I'm sort of watching. I like
to see what other people are watching on airplanes, and
like it gets pretty inappropriate from time to time.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
You know, the woman who said I'll have what she's
having is his mom.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Oh no, I love a cameo so much. Wait, that's amazing,
and she is the star of the show. Lady, she
heals the show.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Yeah, and that's Rob Briner's.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Mom and a Sydney Sweeney And.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
I'm Hopewitard and welcome to boys Over, a space where
we're learning and un learning all the myths were taught
about love and relationships. The leaves are changing, the temperature
(01:01):
is dropping, and the chunky knit sweaters are in full rotation.
For Boiceover's second rom com roundtable, we're talking all about
the ultimate fall rom com, when Harry met Sally. A
big part of my Boysover journey has been unlearning the
stories we've been taught about love and relationships, including the
ones we've absorbed from the movies we've watched and loved
(01:24):
for years. Some of them are timeless, others not so much,
which is why we're doing this rom com Roundtable series
so that we can reevaluate the stories that have helped
shape our expectations. Today, we're tackling a true classic, When
Harry Met Sally, directed by Rob Reiner and written by
Nora Efron. In case you need a refresher on the
(01:45):
Billy Crystal Meg Ryan movie, here's what you need to know.
Harry and Sally first meet when they drive together from
Chicago to New York after graduating college. The two couldn't
be more opposite of each other, and things quickly get
off to a rocky start when they debate the question
can men and women be friends. Throughout the years, their
(02:08):
paths keep crossing, and eventually they do become friends, and slowly,
accidentally and not without complications, they fall in love. To
discuss the film, I brought on two of my dear
comedian friends, Nicki Martin and Andy Spector, because they are
mega fans of this movie. There is so much to
(02:30):
discuss here, So make yourself a pastrami sandwich with all
the fixens on the side and settle in. Nicky, Andy,
Welcome to boyover. We're here today to talk about When
Harry Met Sally. Yes, and Andy, the first time I
met you, you told me it's your favorite movie ever.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
In a regular year. For me, I watched When Harry
Met Sally once a month.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Yeah, a regular amount.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
A regular amount. Of course, they don't get sick of it.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
As soon as I watch it, I'm like ready to
restart it.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
It's the perfect length of.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
A movie, really, because I think it's a little long.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
You think When Harry Met Sally is long?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
I do?
Speaker 3 (03:12):
You think it's a little long.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
So one of my favorite movies is The Princess Bride, which.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Is also Rob Brian Rob Reiner.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
And when Rob Reiner was filming it, he was also
still going through the script of When Harry Met Sally,
and I was watching an interview with Nora and Rob
and they talked about how he pitched the movie to her.
Originally I wrote this down. He said, two people become
(03:40):
friends at the end of the first major relationship of
their lives. They make a decision to not have sex
because it will ruin the friendship, and then they have
sex and it ruins the friendship totally.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
And that was the.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Pitch originally for the movie, and they were never supposed
to get together at the end.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Ah, so why did they end up getting together? Who
made that decision?
Speaker 2 (03:59):
He met his wife on the set?
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Oh my goot?
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yeah, well like during the filming.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yeah, wow, he met his wife during the filming. So
then they decided they were like, oh, love does prevail
or whatever. And so I wonder when you were like,
the movie's a little bit too long, I wonder if
it would have been the perfect amount for you.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Totally they had taken out if it had ended, but
it would not have felt like the movie would not
have felt correct if they didn't get back together, it would.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Not be my favorite movie.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Wait, I want to know your thoughts on something, Andy,
because I had a friend say to me the other
day that they really don't like Billy Crystal's character and
when Harry met Sally, I've thought.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
A lot about that. How do you?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Yeah, what do he?
Speaker 5 (04:44):
The more I watch When Harry Met Sally, the more
I appreciate the character development through the movie.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Billy Crystal is an asshole.
Speaker 5 (04:57):
Like objectively, I think he's always a little bit of
an asshole throughout the whole movie, but he is especially
an asshole. At the start, he's low key, hike y
sexist in his opinion on whether he can be friends
with women.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
But when time goes by.
Speaker 5 (05:17):
He literally apologizes and then embraces the friendship. And then,
since I'm talking about character development, I also really recognize
Sally's because the movie literally starts with her going into
a diner and getting uncomfortable at the talk of sex,
and then there's the Cat's Deli scene, which I would
(05:39):
maybe call a diner and she does the orgasm stuff.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Gotta love this movie.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
I think it's all about people's relationship with love and
the different types of love.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
And as much.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
As he is an asshole, he's I mean, he's Billy Crystal,
that's like his arm. I think he's also an asshole
in the same way that monsters inc. Yeah, I'm sorry,
Like when he went on a date with his girlfriend
in the sushi restaurant or whatever kind of an asshole
(06:14):
he like, he has a shtick.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah, but it's charming, right of course.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
And because Nora is a journalists, I know she like
interviewed the people in the cast and Rob Reiner and
everyone to get that truthfulness, and I think she said
it was horrifying hearing what the men had to say.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
And so she took that.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Those flaws and put them into the character which made
them so human, which is why I mean, they just
had two great actors put the camera on a tripod
said shoot.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
I think I read that because Rob Reiner and Billy
Crystal were close friends and she would listen to their
conversations and that.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
That's probably what she said was horrifor there's so much
just like truth in the characters. Like what they said
with the original pitch is that they meet each other
after the biggest breakup of their lives so far. So
they're not great people, no, But what.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
I really love about this movie is like them being
able to maintain a friendship after those breakups rather than
sort of just like using each other to get over
you know, like another romantic thing to get over your
last one.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Well, I think love comes from authenticity, and I think
they are authentic with each other. And that's what makes
it so compelling is that that authenticity they're not used
to that they lie to have sex or they lie
to have a relationship, like they use lies as a
(07:47):
method of progressing, you know, relationships.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Within their life.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
But the authenticity brings them together.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
You're talking about the characters are all men characters.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Okay, I'm do you think about how like when you're
romantic with someone, you lie, like you're in a friendship
with someone, you're pretty honest like And it's like Billy
Crystal says that when he's like, I don't have to
lie to her because I'm not trying to like sleep
with her or whatever, like they and that's the beginning.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Like truly in my mind during the baseball scene is
like where I see them accidentally falling in love. That
being on the phone for hours that night.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Oh my god, the phone calls are so romantic. Like
one of my favorite things about the movie is just
like everyone getting on the phone all the time. You know,
I'm like, I missed that.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
So bad real quick.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
But I just want to acknowledge carry Fisher and Bruno
Kirby when they pick up the phones and it's the
split screen, they had two lines.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Crazy.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
That's a couple of yappers, a couple's crazy.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
But I have a question, do you think it was
toxic that he kept following up with her that like
she was giving him space, like after they did have
sex and she sort of like ran away, and he
kept leaving voicemails. He kept calling, do you think that's toxic?
Or do you think that's a good thing?
Speaker 5 (09:10):
Well, so that's actually what I wanted to talk about
because I understand, for like in terms of story structure,
but I have a hard time understanding what exactly Harry
is going through when he gets scared after they have sex.
(09:31):
He says on the phone that he got suffocated. But
I don't really understand his exact thought process and why
he closes off like that.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Because it seems to be his character never has sex
with a woman he really cares about or like knows intimately,
And like he said, he was like, you swap stories
after you like sleep together, Like they tell you their stories,
you tell them yours. And he was like, we've already
given all of us, Like he didn't know what to do. Yeah,
a completely new experience for him. I think.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
I also love particularly when like after they have sex,
they have the date and they're sitting with each other
at the table and meg Ryan is like, this was
a mistake and then he says, oh my gosh, yeah
I agree, and then like they'll look on her face, Yes.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
And then she says, I hope I get to say
it first. And then he says, I hope she says
it first.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Why do you think that is?
Speaker 5 (10:20):
I think that's super relatable. I don't want to be
the mean person. I want someone to be mean to me.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
You want someone else to say it?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Yeah, So I think she holds everything in.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
He's like, you've never expressed how you feel about Joe,
and then she finally does. She lets herself be vulnerable.
He lets himself be vulnerable. But then he realizes, Oh,
this is what.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
I've wanted all along.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I'm so scared and this is also what she was
scared of. He always says his emotions, but he never
like acts on it. She acts on it, but she
never says her emotions. She I'm close to the chest.
I find a lot. And he tries to heal through sex,
(11:06):
and I think he found out that, like, he can't
really heal through sex when what.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
He wants is that relationship.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
M Like, every time he has sex, it's like a
very transactional thing for him. And then in this time
he's like, I want to stay the night, I want
to stay here. You can see the like fight in
his brain that he gets up and runs away. So
what he was saying, like I feel suffocated. I don't
think he was feeling suffocated by her, but by his
(11:37):
own internalized feelings that he's been like trying to push
away for so much.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
And also like now he has to see a woman
he respects and has sex with you, Like, do you
know what I mean? Like it seems like he's kept
these women at such a distance. But something I'm thinking
of is like when they first kissed, they kissed on
the lips. Oh, so we think friends can kiss on
the lip?
Speaker 5 (11:55):
Well, I was literally just about to ask you guys
about that, because was it different in the late eighties,
Like could friends?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
I think they were just like like I think it
was just like natural to them.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
It was New Year's Eve. First of all, let's be clear, right,
they kiss on New Year's.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Eve before they have sex.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Yeah, before, so they kiss on the lips at a
New Year's Eve party and then their friends still like
they're just like, oh oh yeah, like it's midnight. Do
you think it's okay and it's normal to kiss your
friends on the lips.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Like for a New Year's Eve? Like, I think it's okay.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
It's dependent, honestly, but.
Speaker 5 (12:37):
Like your perception of the person you're kissing matters because
they're our friends. Site they could be really good friends,
but you're like, no, I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Why why just because.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
You just don't feel comfortable with them in that way.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
It's just a different type of friendship.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Tell me about the types of friendship, Like, do you
really think straightment and women can be friends? We are ye,
all are yes.
Speaker 5 (13:01):
But I love this movie. But I guess if I
had an issue with it, it'd be like the question
of the movie is can men and women be friends?
And I almost feel like the movie answers no.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
That is the answer.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
That is the answer. Yeah. The word attracted is something
I want to talk about because they use the word
(13:38):
attractive in when Harry met Sally.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
It's like, you're very scene.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
I'm like, I and I have never really been fond of,
like the word attractive.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
What do you think of it?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
I think it's like too instinctual, Like and there's that
moment where Billy Crystal's friend says like, Okay, is she attractive?
And he goes yeah, and he goes, but is she beautiful?
Speaker 4 (13:59):
And wait, what's the difference.
Speaker 5 (14:01):
And then there's that joke at the wedding reception where
they're like, to Harry and Sally, if we found them
remotely attractive.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
So what do you think the difference is? Like, what
do they mean by attraction?
Speaker 1 (14:16):
I think attractiveness is much more than physical beauty. I
think attractiveness is like a sense of confidence. It's like,
for lack of a better word, like the aura, like
kind of medic Yeah, like how they make you feel.
I think sometimes attractiveness.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Is a bit selfish.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
It's like when you think of someone describing another person
as attractive or whatever, they're always talking about how that
person makes them feel, rather than the qualities about that
person themselves. And like with the attractiveness, that you can
be like illustrious or whatever, but also not be like.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
What yeah, like you could be attractive, right, Like you
could be attractive, but not like conventionally maybe handsome or something.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, what.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Are differences between attractive and beautiful?
Speaker 5 (15:15):
Like?
Speaker 3 (15:16):
How do you see it?
Speaker 4 (15:18):
I guess I agree.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
What do you usually say about a girl? I usually say, like,
she's attractive, she's beautiful, she's hot.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
How do you It's hard to explain?
Speaker 5 (15:30):
I say, I say she's smoking.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
I go, I, okay.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
Depending on someone's qualities, I might use a different word.
I might say, oh, she's cute. I might say oh,
my gosh. Throughout when Harry Miss Elliott, when I'm watching
my grind, I'm like, she is so fucking.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
Is crazy, like it's insane.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
She is so beautiful. She's beautiful, she's gorgeous to.
Speaker 4 (16:10):
You just use two words.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
I use two words to describe her.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Well, there you go. Somebody can be.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Multiple women, contain multitudes, like.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Usually not usually always somebody is all those things. But
just my instinct when I'm describing somebody that I have
a crush on, I might go to one of those
words first.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Practice, Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Like what's attractive to me is like passion, and like
I think it's a lot.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
More lustful.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Even though in that way, but like personally, like when
I say passion, I don't even just mean like being
a passionate lover. It's just like having convictions and like,
for example, like standing up for what you believe in
or you know that that's very attractive.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
To of course, you know, like attractive qualities, Yes.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Attractive qualities, And there are many people who I guess
I would say I'm attracted to, but I could never ever.
I'm like, I'm like, you know, it's like, you know, yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
Have you guys dated someone who Yes, okay.
Speaker 5 (17:33):
And me too. Yeah, have you dated someone who you,
I guess are attracted to in every sense? Like you
love their personality every way, everything, like everything about them
besides the way they look.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Do you like everything?
Speaker 5 (17:50):
Yeah, you're like, I am obsessed with this person. I
want to be with them.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
But I do not like looking at them.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
I mean, if you get to the point where you're like,
I don't like looking at them, I think it would
be hard to stay together. Yeah, anyone can be cute
no matter what how they doesn't like, anyone can be
charming enough for like, funny enough. I mean, yeah, you've seen,
you know, my track record, So I don't know. I've
never quite gone for someone who's like conventionally that handsome
in the first place. So looking at them, I'm like.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
I want to go for that. You've had some cute ones.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
I've had some cute moments, like usually people are shocked anyways,
the orgasm scene, what do you think?
Speaker 4 (18:34):
I have a thought?
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Are we faking? What are your thoughts.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
I love that scene first off, but I just want
to say it worked for Harry because he's an idiot
and he thought that no one ever fakes. But I
feel like I would know that somebody being that crazy.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
You know, when a woman is faking.
Speaker 5 (18:53):
No, not necessarily, but I think I would be like,
this is a little ridiculous if a woman that good.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Oh man, that is a great scene. But I haven't
faked something like that in a long time. Really, I
don't really, I don't fake it. No, I don't fake
any if I don't if I don't have it. Yeah,
I guess when I was like younger, I think I'm
just kind of like stop, you know what it kind
of it's not like there's no reason for Look at
(19:26):
the time.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
You think it was like just like the culture.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Yeah, I think women needing to fake organs.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Sinfeld and stuff too.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Yeah, because I wonder if people are really faking that
much anymore.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
I think we're a little bit more accepting that it's difficult.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Gen Z isn't having sex?
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Well, that's what they say. Yeah, I want to ask
the people in the comments, are you faking your orgasms? Ladies?
Isn't happening. Can we take a poll, what do you
think people will say?
Speaker 1 (19:56):
And guys, guys, because because here's the thing, like you're lying.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
I swear to god you faked Why because.
Speaker 5 (20:05):
I was in college and in that time.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Like I wanted her to like you.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
It's not even that I wanted her to like me.
I think I was just like new to hooking up
and I was like intimidated.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
He was like this has gone on long enough.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
I was like, this has to end.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
How did you fake it?
Speaker 5 (20:28):
I was like, I was like I didn't like, it's
not it wasn't like a Sally thing in the diner.
Speaker 4 (20:38):
I didn't make a noise.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
I was just like, it's over, like I did it.
I just pretty much is crazy, just like verbally lied
about about whether it happened or not.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
And was she like, hey, nothing is like it was.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
It was in a condom. Was she going to do
like inspect my condom?
Speaker 3 (21:01):
I mean, oh my god, that's really funny, but you
haven't done that since college.
Speaker 5 (21:08):
No. Now, I'm pretty honest.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Thank you for practicing safe sex.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Of course, do you think sex with a friend ruins
it completely or do you think you can have sort
of a like friends with benefits situation.
Speaker 5 (21:35):
So I've never had sex with somebody who was already
my friend. But I've had a romantic relationship that turned
into friendship.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
Sometimes it didn't work. It sometimes doesn't work. Work, sometimes
it does, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it really does.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Yeah, I feel like it usually doesn't work for me. Like,
I don't think I can have a friend and keep
it strictly platonic.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
I think I'm good at compartmentalizing in that sense, much
like Billy Crystal, like billyst I think Harry is so
good at compartmentalizing, but Sally breaks the mold that when
he does have sex with her, he cannot compartmentalize. And
I think personally, I've definitely had like sex with friends
(22:33):
and then continued being friends, like.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
It's just like whatever, you know, Yeah, but that was.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
When I was like early twenties, didn't really care about
I don't know, my frontal lobe wasn't.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Developed, like you know.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
I don't know how it would be now because they
didn't have sex until they were in their thirties, right,
and so putting myself in the position of them, I
don't know how I would feel now.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Andy, I want to know about this friend that started
romantic and then turned into which friendship? And is that
how it usually goes for you?
Speaker 5 (23:06):
That's not the case with every single person I know.
But I have a hard time like letting go, like
spending so much time getting to know a person and
then just it not working romantically so we just have
to completely cut each other out of our lives for
(23:27):
some reason. That's just like a really difficult thing to
just spend so much time getting to know someone and
caring about them and then just like it's over, right.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
I can't. It's hard for me.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Do you feel like most people are that way or
do you think that's a little bit rare for you?
I'm thinking about guys especially.
Speaker 5 (23:47):
I think most people are like, why are you still
talking to them?
Speaker 4 (23:51):
It's over?
Speaker 5 (23:53):
And then I'm like, we're trying to be friends, and
then it's with that intent, and then we just like.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Do you think it's a form of self sabotage?
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Oh? Probably? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Do you always are you like you feel completely satisfied
in friendship?
Speaker 4 (24:10):
Usually? I love my friends.
Speaker 5 (24:13):
Uh, There's been instances where like it ends and where
I'm just trying to be friends, but I still feel
like I want more so, I'm not saying that that
situation never happened.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
Do you kind of like to be in that dynamic
where you like, are your course not.
Speaker 5 (24:32):
It's awful, it's a nightmare, it's a hell escape because
it's never it's never going to happen.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
So why else do you identify with Billy Crystal's character?
Do you see yourself and him?
Speaker 5 (24:47):
I don't know if you two will understand this, but
there's a very Jewish element to when Harry met Sally
that I feel like I identify just with the vibe
of it and the nature the nebs.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
Of his character. What do you mean, how do you discribe.
Speaker 5 (25:09):
That is like this archetype of like a Jewish guy
usually who often wears glasses.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
It's him and Rick moranis too.
Speaker 5 (25:23):
That brings up a thought because Diane Keaton died and
so I gave myself special permission. And I feel comfortable
saying this because I think a lot of people did.
I watched Andy.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Hall amazing It's okay, and I thought I thought.
Speaker 5 (25:43):
A lot about this, But there's a lot of similarities
between when Harry met Sally and Annie Hall, and after
watching Annie Hall, I recognized and appreciated when Harry met
Sally is so much more because Harry is a redeemable asshole.
When I was watching Annie Hall recently, I genuinely don't
(26:07):
feel like what he Allen's character has much character development.
It gives the feeling that there's growth, yeah, but I
don't really see it. I think he's the same like
misogynistic asshole throughout the whole movie totally.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
But Billy Crystal really.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
Does change, Yes he does.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
I have a hard time believing people can kind of
really change, but.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
I really, yes, I believe in changing growth.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
Like my little piece of Me is like, oh man,
like one woman isn't going to change like everything about
his character, but they do something different than his other relationships.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
I don't think it's necessarily her, but it's you know,
we we grow through our lived experiences. And I think
that she forces him into places that are uncomfortable and
he has to confront the uncomfortability, and so I think
it's less her and it's more where he finds himself
when he's with her.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
But I do people.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
I believe everyone has the capacity for change, and I
believe that we are influenced by it. I mean, my
stupid ass musical theater. Brain immediately goes to Wicked and
it's like, I know, but you know they have the
song there's like who can say if I've been changed
for the better, but because I knew you, I've been
(27:26):
changed for good. That's like one of the best songs
for it. And it's like they're fully parting ways. They're
accepting that they're no longer going to be friends or
like together, you know, but they because they've had that
shared lived experience together, They've put each other into uncomfortable positions,
(27:49):
they've grown from it, and.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
I guess they knew each other for Like I love
this movie because of the timeline. Yeah, like I love
that we go over ten years.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Also in eighteen our drive is crazy and why is
she driving the whole entire time? Like, like, I guess
she's not, but it feels to me like she is
always driving, which had a lot of controlling with her
wondering at.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
The diner the way she does like everything on the side,
Like it totally makes sense that she would be.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Also was inspired by Nora because.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Like, if if you read like any of Nora's stuff
or whatever, she's like always freaking out about food.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
So particular yea, and she likes what she likes.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
What do y'all think this movie teaches us about love?
Speaker 5 (28:29):
This is maybe my little hopeless romantic coming out, but
like I feel like you really need to like recognize
when you have something special. But also it's a it's
hard to say because it's like it's a movie, it's
not real life.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
And it's it's.
Speaker 5 (28:49):
It's inspired, but like, really, whatever happened in real life
wasn't ever gonna be anything like that. There's never a
perfect usually never a perfect happy ending feeling to that,
which is why I love rom coms so much.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
I think that.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
What it teaches us about love is that imperfections don't
mean that you aren't perfect.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
For each other, I guess.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
And it's not necessarily that they're perfect for each other,
but it's that through the growth and time that they've
spent getting to know each other, their imperfections are mended
or at.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Least like come to get im.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
I can't pinpoint my thoughts, well, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
In friendship, you're like making more space I think for imperfection.
Like in friendship, like the bar is so for some
reason lower, and you can like be kind of a
mess because it feels like the stakes aren't as high because.
Speaker 5 (29:51):
In the context of monogamy, you can have as many
friends as you.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
Yeah, that's so true. So I think that, like, there's
something about the way their relationship lasted so long and
then it became romantic. It's something that I think should
happen more often, but doesn't happen that often. Things start
romantic so quickly, especially because of apps and everything too.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
They did say, when you know when you want to
spend the rest of your life with someone, you try
to start it as soon as possible.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
I love that line. I came here tonight, keep going.
Speaker 5 (30:28):
I came here tonight because when you realize you want
to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you
want the rest of your life to start as soon
as possible.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
God if someone said that to me, Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Well, I think it's such an interesting and beautiful line
because they've known each other for twelve years, you know,
or whatever it was, until they started being romantic, and
it's like, you want the rest of your life to
start as soon as possible.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
What about before then?
Speaker 1 (30:57):
But it was because of that growth, like that, that
journey that they went on together. Once he had that realization,
he was like, I can't let her go. And I
found it very like what we were talking about earlier,
like the constant calling. It was very much like boombox
outside of the window, very John Hughes high, except for
(31:19):
I found it to be a lot more respectful, Like
he didn't show up to her house, right, he didn't
go to her work.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
He was respectful.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
He was respectful in the sense of like he's like,
I don't want this to go away.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
I'm going to contact you how I can.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
I'm going to fill up the space.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
But like and as annoying and weird, it.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Wasn't like it coming to your house totally totally you're safe.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Still you're saying you're secure, but I would like, ye, yeah,
you can lock that door, but double locked maybe.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Okay. Last question, how many roses out of five would
you give this movie five?
Speaker 1 (32:00):
I would say I would give it four and a
half four roses. It's a good movie, Like it's solid,
it's a solid rom com. But when it comes to
the vignettes of the couples, I get that a five
because I was obsessed listening to these actors tell the
(32:23):
stories of like real life couples. It was like delicious,
Like yeah, it was. It was almost like a breath
of fresh air. It's like that was such a true
pure form of love, showing that everyone experiences love in
a different way. There are so many like when we
were talking about types of relationships and some of them
(32:46):
were friends and some of.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Them didn't know each other.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
Do you think you have to be friends first for
it to kind of be true love.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
I don't think so.
Speaker 5 (32:56):
No, I don't think so. I think like a good
relationship feels like you're good friends.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Yeah, a good relationship is built on trust, and I
think a lot of times with friendship, like what you
were saying, the expectations.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Are a lot less.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
So with the friendship, it's like you are a lot
more trusting with them, You're a lot more forgiving, And
I think that that is a good basis to a relationship.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
Who was you rather kiss Billy Crystal or Megrian Grian
Megran Megryan, Megan megrext question. That's my last question. Oh
that's all I have for us today. Thanks guys, thank
you for having Thank you so much to Nicky and
(33:49):
Andy for coming on the show today. I'll have what
they're having any day. Until next time, enjoy the fall
air and maybe tell that special someone how you really
feel what could go wrong? Thanks for listening. Talk to
you all next week. Boy Sover is a production of
(34:16):
iHeart Podcasts. I'm your host Hopewordard. Our executive producers are
Christina Everett and Julie Pinero. Our supervising producer is Emily Meronoff.
Our assistant producer is Logan Palau. Engineering by Bahid Fraser
and mixing and mastering by Abu Zafar. If you liked
(34:37):
this episode, please tell a friend and don't forget to rate, review,
and subscribe to boy Sober on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
and wherever you get your favorite shows.
Did you know what planes they don't do the orgasm scene.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Really, they cut it off right before.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
That's so shocking to me because then it's r rated. Well,
I just feel like I'm sort of watching. I like
to see what other people are watching on airplanes, and
like it gets pretty inappropriate from time to time.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
You know, the woman who said I'll have what she's
having is his mom.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Oh no, I love a cameo so much. Wait, that's amazing,
and she is the star of the show. Lady, she
heals the show.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Yeah, and that's Rob Briner's.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Mom and a Sydney Sweeney And.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
I'm Hopewitard and welcome to boys Over, a space where
we're learning and un learning all the myths were taught
about love and relationships. The leaves are changing, the temperature
(01:01):
is dropping, and the chunky knit sweaters are in full rotation.
For Boiceover's second rom com roundtable, we're talking all about
the ultimate fall rom com, when Harry met Sally. A
big part of my Boysover journey has been unlearning the
stories we've been taught about love and relationships, including the
ones we've absorbed from the movies we've watched and loved
(01:24):
for years. Some of them are timeless, others not so much,
which is why we're doing this rom com Roundtable series
so that we can reevaluate the stories that have helped
shape our expectations. Today, we're tackling a true classic, When
Harry Met Sally, directed by Rob Reiner and written by
Nora Efron. In case you need a refresher on the
(01:45):
Billy Crystal Meg Ryan movie, here's what you need to know.
Harry and Sally first meet when they drive together from
Chicago to New York after graduating college. The two couldn't
be more opposite of each other, and things quickly get
off to a rocky start when they debate the question
can men and women be friends. Throughout the years, their
(02:08):
paths keep crossing, and eventually they do become friends, and slowly,
accidentally and not without complications, they fall in love. To
discuss the film, I brought on two of my dear
comedian friends, Nicki Martin and Andy Spector, because they are
mega fans of this movie. There is so much to
(02:30):
discuss here, So make yourself a pastrami sandwich with all
the fixens on the side and settle in. Nicky, Andy,
Welcome to boyover. We're here today to talk about When
Harry Met Sally. Yes, and Andy, the first time I
met you, you told me it's your favorite movie ever.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
In a regular year. For me, I watched When Harry
Met Sally once a month.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Yeah, a regular amount.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
A regular amount. Of course, they don't get sick of it.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
As soon as I watch it, I'm like ready to
restart it.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
It's the perfect length of.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
A movie, really, because I think it's a little long.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
You think When Harry Met Sally is long?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
I do?
Speaker 3 (03:12):
You think it's a little long.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
So one of my favorite movies is The Princess Bride, which.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Is also Rob Brian Rob Reiner.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
And when Rob Reiner was filming it, he was also
still going through the script of When Harry Met Sally,
and I was watching an interview with Nora and Rob
and they talked about how he pitched the movie to her.
Originally I wrote this down. He said, two people become
(03:40):
friends at the end of the first major relationship of
their lives. They make a decision to not have sex
because it will ruin the friendship, and then they have
sex and it ruins the friendship totally.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
And that was the.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Pitch originally for the movie, and they were never supposed
to get together at the end.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Ah, so why did they end up getting together? Who
made that decision?
Speaker 2 (03:59):
He met his wife on the set?
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Oh my goot?
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yeah, well like during the filming.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yeah, wow, he met his wife during the filming. So
then they decided they were like, oh, love does prevail
or whatever. And so I wonder when you were like,
the movie's a little bit too long, I wonder if
it would have been the perfect amount for you.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Totally they had taken out if it had ended, but
it would not have felt like the movie would not
have felt correct if they didn't get back together, it would.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Not be my favorite movie.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Wait, I want to know your thoughts on something, Andy,
because I had a friend say to me the other
day that they really don't like Billy Crystal's character and
when Harry met Sally, I've thought.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
A lot about that. How do you?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Yeah, what do he?
Speaker 5 (04:44):
The more I watch When Harry Met Sally, the more
I appreciate the character development through the movie.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Billy Crystal is an asshole.
Speaker 5 (04:57):
Like objectively, I think he's always a little bit of
an asshole throughout the whole movie, but he is especially
an asshole. At the start, he's low key, hike y
sexist in his opinion on whether he can be friends
with women.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
But when time goes by.
Speaker 5 (05:17):
He literally apologizes and then embraces the friendship. And then,
since I'm talking about character development, I also really recognize
Sally's because the movie literally starts with her going into
a diner and getting uncomfortable at the talk of sex,
and then there's the Cat's Deli scene, which I would
(05:39):
maybe call a diner and she does the orgasm stuff.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Gotta love this movie.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
I think it's all about people's relationship with love and
the different types of love.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
And as much.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
As he is an asshole, he's I mean, he's Billy Crystal,
that's like his arm. I think he's also an asshole
in the same way that monsters inc. Yeah, I'm sorry,
Like when he went on a date with his girlfriend
in the sushi restaurant or whatever kind of an asshole
(06:14):
he like, he has a shtick.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah, but it's charming, right of course.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
And because Nora is a journalists, I know she like
interviewed the people in the cast and Rob Reiner and
everyone to get that truthfulness, and I think she said
it was horrifying hearing what the men had to say.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
And so she took that.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Those flaws and put them into the character which made
them so human, which is why I mean, they just
had two great actors put the camera on a tripod
said shoot.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
I think I read that because Rob Reiner and Billy
Crystal were close friends and she would listen to their
conversations and that.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
That's probably what she said was horrifor there's so much
just like truth in the characters. Like what they said
with the original pitch is that they meet each other
after the biggest breakup of their lives so far. So
they're not great people, no, But what.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
I really love about this movie is like them being
able to maintain a friendship after those breakups rather than
sort of just like using each other to get over
you know, like another romantic thing to get over your
last one.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Well, I think love comes from authenticity, and I think
they are authentic with each other. And that's what makes
it so compelling is that that authenticity they're not used
to that they lie to have sex or they lie
to have a relationship, like they use lies as a
(07:47):
method of progressing, you know, relationships.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Within their life.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
But the authenticity brings them together.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
You're talking about the characters are all men characters.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Okay, I'm do you think about how like when you're
romantic with someone, you lie, like you're in a friendship
with someone, you're pretty honest like And it's like Billy
Crystal says that when he's like, I don't have to
lie to her because I'm not trying to like sleep
with her or whatever, like they and that's the beginning.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Like truly in my mind during the baseball scene is
like where I see them accidentally falling in love. That
being on the phone for hours that night.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Oh my god, the phone calls are so romantic. Like
one of my favorite things about the movie is just
like everyone getting on the phone all the time. You know,
I'm like, I missed that.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
So bad real quick.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
But I just want to acknowledge carry Fisher and Bruno
Kirby when they pick up the phones and it's the
split screen, they had two lines.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Crazy.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
That's a couple of yappers, a couple's crazy.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
But I have a question, do you think it was
toxic that he kept following up with her that like
she was giving him space, like after they did have
sex and she sort of like ran away, and he
kept leaving voicemails. He kept calling, do you think that's toxic?
Or do you think that's a good thing?
Speaker 5 (09:10):
Well, so that's actually what I wanted to talk about
because I understand, for like in terms of story structure,
but I have a hard time understanding what exactly Harry
is going through when he gets scared after they have sex.
(09:31):
He says on the phone that he got suffocated. But
I don't really understand his exact thought process and why
he closes off like that.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Because it seems to be his character never has sex
with a woman he really cares about or like knows intimately,
And like he said, he was like, you swap stories
after you like sleep together, Like they tell you their stories,
you tell them yours. And he was like, we've already
given all of us, Like he didn't know what to do. Yeah,
a completely new experience for him. I think.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
I also love particularly when like after they have sex,
they have the date and they're sitting with each other
at the table and meg Ryan is like, this was
a mistake and then he says, oh my gosh, yeah
I agree, and then like they'll look on her face, Yes.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
And then she says, I hope I get to say
it first. And then he says, I hope she says
it first.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Why do you think that is?
Speaker 5 (10:20):
I think that's super relatable. I don't want to be
the mean person. I want someone to be mean to me.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
You want someone else to say it?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Yeah, So I think she holds everything in.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
He's like, you've never expressed how you feel about Joe,
and then she finally does. She lets herself be vulnerable.
He lets himself be vulnerable. But then he realizes, Oh,
this is what.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
I've wanted all along.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I'm so scared and this is also what she was
scared of. He always says his emotions, but he never
like acts on it. She acts on it, but she
never says her emotions. She I'm close to the chest.
I find a lot. And he tries to heal through sex,
(11:06):
and I think he found out that, like, he can't
really heal through sex when what.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
He wants is that relationship.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
M Like, every time he has sex, it's like a
very transactional thing for him. And then in this time
he's like, I want to stay the night, I want
to stay here. You can see the like fight in
his brain that he gets up and runs away. So
what he was saying, like I feel suffocated. I don't
think he was feeling suffocated by her, but by his
(11:37):
own internalized feelings that he's been like trying to push
away for so much.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
And also like now he has to see a woman
he respects and has sex with you, Like, do you
know what I mean? Like it seems like he's kept
these women at such a distance. But something I'm thinking
of is like when they first kissed, they kissed on
the lips. Oh, so we think friends can kiss on
the lip?
Speaker 5 (11:55):
Well, I was literally just about to ask you guys
about that, because was it different in the late eighties,
Like could friends?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
I think they were just like like I think it
was just like natural to them.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
It was New Year's Eve. First of all, let's be clear, right,
they kiss on New Year's.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Eve before they have sex.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Yeah, before, so they kiss on the lips at a
New Year's Eve party and then their friends still like
they're just like, oh oh yeah, like it's midnight. Do
you think it's okay and it's normal to kiss your
friends on the lips.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Like for a New Year's Eve? Like, I think it's okay.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
It's dependent, honestly, but.
Speaker 5 (12:37):
Like your perception of the person you're kissing matters because
they're our friends. Site they could be really good friends,
but you're like, no, I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Why why just because.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
You just don't feel comfortable with them in that way.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
It's just a different type of friendship.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Tell me about the types of friendship, Like, do you
really think straightment and women can be friends? We are ye,
all are yes.
Speaker 5 (13:01):
But I love this movie. But I guess if I
had an issue with it, it'd be like the question
of the movie is can men and women be friends?
And I almost feel like the movie answers no.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
That is the answer.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
That is the answer. Yeah. The word attracted is something
I want to talk about because they use the word
(13:38):
attractive in when Harry met Sally.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
It's like, you're very scene.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
I'm like, I and I have never really been fond of,
like the word attractive.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
What do you think of it?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
I think it's like too instinctual, Like and there's that
moment where Billy Crystal's friend says like, Okay, is she attractive?
And he goes yeah, and he goes, but is she beautiful?
Speaker 4 (13:59):
And wait, what's the difference.
Speaker 5 (14:01):
And then there's that joke at the wedding reception where
they're like, to Harry and Sally, if we found them
remotely attractive.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
So what do you think the difference is? Like, what
do they mean by attraction?
Speaker 1 (14:16):
I think attractiveness is much more than physical beauty. I
think attractiveness is like a sense of confidence. It's like,
for lack of a better word, like the aura, like
kind of medic Yeah, like how they make you feel.
I think sometimes attractiveness.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Is a bit selfish.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
It's like when you think of someone describing another person
as attractive or whatever, they're always talking about how that
person makes them feel, rather than the qualities about that
person themselves. And like with the attractiveness, that you can
be like illustrious or whatever, but also not be like.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
What yeah, like you could be attractive, right, Like you
could be attractive, but not like conventionally maybe handsome or something.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, what.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Are differences between attractive and beautiful?
Speaker 5 (15:15):
Like?
Speaker 3 (15:16):
How do you see it?
Speaker 4 (15:18):
I guess I agree.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
What do you usually say about a girl? I usually say, like,
she's attractive, she's beautiful, she's hot.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
How do you It's hard to explain?
Speaker 5 (15:30):
I say, I say she's smoking.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
I go, I, okay.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
Depending on someone's qualities, I might use a different word.
I might say, oh, she's cute. I might say oh,
my gosh. Throughout when Harry Miss Elliott, when I'm watching
my grind, I'm like, she is so fucking.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
Is crazy, like it's insane.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
She is so beautiful. She's beautiful, she's gorgeous to.
Speaker 4 (16:10):
You just use two words.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
I use two words to describe her.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Well, there you go. Somebody can be.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Multiple women, contain multitudes, like.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Usually not usually always somebody is all those things. But
just my instinct when I'm describing somebody that I have
a crush on, I might go to one of those
words first.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Practice, Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Like what's attractive to me is like passion, and like
I think it's a lot.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
More lustful.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Even though in that way, but like personally, like when
I say passion, I don't even just mean like being
a passionate lover. It's just like having convictions and like,
for example, like standing up for what you believe in
or you know that that's very attractive.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
To of course, you know, like attractive qualities, Yes.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Attractive qualities, And there are many people who I guess
I would say I'm attracted to, but I could never ever.
I'm like, I'm like, you know, it's like, you know, yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
Have you guys dated someone who Yes, okay.
Speaker 5 (17:33):
And me too. Yeah, have you dated someone who you,
I guess are attracted to in every sense? Like you
love their personality every way, everything, like everything about them
besides the way they look.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Do you like everything?
Speaker 5 (17:50):
Yeah, you're like, I am obsessed with this person. I
want to be with them.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
But I do not like looking at them.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
I mean, if you get to the point where you're like,
I don't like looking at them, I think it would
be hard to stay together. Yeah, anyone can be cute
no matter what how they doesn't like, anyone can be
charming enough for like, funny enough. I mean, yeah, you've seen,
you know, my track record, So I don't know. I've
never quite gone for someone who's like conventionally that handsome
in the first place. So looking at them, I'm like.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
I want to go for that. You've had some cute ones.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
I've had some cute moments, like usually people are shocked anyways,
the orgasm scene, what do you think?
Speaker 4 (18:34):
I have a thought?
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Are we faking? What are your thoughts.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
I love that scene first off, but I just want
to say it worked for Harry because he's an idiot
and he thought that no one ever fakes. But I
feel like I would know that somebody being that crazy.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
You know, when a woman is faking.
Speaker 5 (18:53):
No, not necessarily, but I think I would be like,
this is a little ridiculous if a woman that good.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Oh man, that is a great scene. But I haven't
faked something like that in a long time. Really, I
don't really, I don't fake it. No, I don't fake
any if I don't if I don't have it. Yeah,
I guess when I was like younger, I think I'm
just kind of like stop, you know what it kind
of it's not like there's no reason for Look at
(19:26):
the time.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
You think it was like just like the culture.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Yeah, I think women needing to fake organs.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Sinfeld and stuff too.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Yeah, because I wonder if people are really faking that
much anymore.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
I think we're a little bit more accepting that it's difficult.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Gen Z isn't having sex?
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Well, that's what they say. Yeah, I want to ask
the people in the comments, are you faking your orgasms? Ladies?
Isn't happening. Can we take a poll, what do you
think people will say?
Speaker 1 (19:56):
And guys, guys, because because here's the thing, like you're lying.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
I swear to god you faked Why because.
Speaker 5 (20:05):
I was in college and in that time.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Like I wanted her to like you.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
It's not even that I wanted her to like me.
I think I was just like new to hooking up
and I was like intimidated.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
He was like this has gone on long enough.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
I was like, this has to end.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
How did you fake it?
Speaker 5 (20:28):
I was like, I was like I didn't like, it's
not it wasn't like a Sally thing in the diner.
Speaker 4 (20:38):
I didn't make a noise.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
I was just like, it's over, like I did it.
I just pretty much is crazy, just like verbally lied
about about whether it happened or not.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
And was she like, hey, nothing is like it was.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
It was in a condom. Was she going to do
like inspect my condom?
Speaker 3 (21:01):
I mean, oh my god, that's really funny, but you
haven't done that since college.
Speaker 5 (21:08):
No. Now, I'm pretty honest.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Thank you for practicing safe sex.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Of course, do you think sex with a friend ruins
it completely or do you think you can have sort
of a like friends with benefits situation.
Speaker 5 (21:35):
So I've never had sex with somebody who was already
my friend. But I've had a romantic relationship that turned
into friendship.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
Sometimes it didn't work. It sometimes doesn't work. Work, sometimes
it does, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it really does.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Yeah, I feel like it usually doesn't work for me. Like,
I don't think I can have a friend and keep
it strictly platonic.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
I think I'm good at compartmentalizing in that sense, much
like Billy Crystal, like billyst I think Harry is so
good at compartmentalizing, but Sally breaks the mold that when
he does have sex with her, he cannot compartmentalize. And
I think personally, I've definitely had like sex with friends
(22:33):
and then continued being friends, like.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
It's just like whatever, you know, Yeah, but that was.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
When I was like early twenties, didn't really care about
I don't know, my frontal lobe wasn't.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Developed, like you know.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
I don't know how it would be now because they
didn't have sex until they were in their thirties, right,
and so putting myself in the position of them, I
don't know how I would feel now.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Andy, I want to know about this friend that started
romantic and then turned into which friendship? And is that
how it usually goes for you?
Speaker 5 (23:06):
That's not the case with every single person I know.
But I have a hard time like letting go, like
spending so much time getting to know a person and
then just it not working romantically so we just have
to completely cut each other out of our lives for
(23:27):
some reason. That's just like a really difficult thing to
just spend so much time getting to know someone and
caring about them and then just like it's over, right.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
I can't. It's hard for me.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Do you feel like most people are that way or
do you think that's a little bit rare for you?
I'm thinking about guys especially.
Speaker 5 (23:47):
I think most people are like, why are you still
talking to them?
Speaker 4 (23:51):
It's over?
Speaker 5 (23:53):
And then I'm like, we're trying to be friends, and
then it's with that intent, and then we just like.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Do you think it's a form of self sabotage?
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Oh? Probably? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Do you always are you like you feel completely satisfied
in friendship?
Speaker 4 (24:10):
Usually? I love my friends.
Speaker 5 (24:13):
Uh, There's been instances where like it ends and where
I'm just trying to be friends, but I still feel
like I want more so, I'm not saying that that
situation never happened.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
Do you kind of like to be in that dynamic
where you like, are your course not.
Speaker 5 (24:32):
It's awful, it's a nightmare, it's a hell escape because
it's never it's never going to happen.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
So why else do you identify with Billy Crystal's character?
Do you see yourself and him?
Speaker 5 (24:47):
I don't know if you two will understand this, but
there's a very Jewish element to when Harry met Sally
that I feel like I identify just with the vibe
of it and the nature the nebs.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
Of his character. What do you mean, how do you discribe.
Speaker 5 (25:09):
That is like this archetype of like a Jewish guy
usually who often wears glasses.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
It's him and Rick moranis too.
Speaker 5 (25:23):
That brings up a thought because Diane Keaton died and
so I gave myself special permission. And I feel comfortable
saying this because I think a lot of people did.
I watched Andy.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Hall amazing It's okay, and I thought I thought.
Speaker 5 (25:43):
A lot about this, But there's a lot of similarities
between when Harry met Sally and Annie Hall, and after
watching Annie Hall, I recognized and appreciated when Harry met
Sally is so much more because Harry is a redeemable asshole.
When I was watching Annie Hall recently, I genuinely don't
(26:07):
feel like what he Allen's character has much character development.
It gives the feeling that there's growth, yeah, but I
don't really see it. I think he's the same like
misogynistic asshole throughout the whole movie totally.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
But Billy Crystal really.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
Does change, Yes he does.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
I have a hard time believing people can kind of
really change, but.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
I really, yes, I believe in changing growth.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
Like my little piece of Me is like, oh man,
like one woman isn't going to change like everything about
his character, but they do something different than his other relationships.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
I don't think it's necessarily her, but it's you know,
we we grow through our lived experiences. And I think
that she forces him into places that are uncomfortable and
he has to confront the uncomfortability, and so I think
it's less her and it's more where he finds himself
when he's with her.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
But I do people.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
I believe everyone has the capacity for change, and I
believe that we are influenced by it. I mean, my
stupid ass musical theater. Brain immediately goes to Wicked and
it's like, I know, but you know they have the
song there's like who can say if I've been changed
for the better, but because I knew you, I've been
(27:26):
changed for good. That's like one of the best songs
for it. And it's like they're fully parting ways. They're
accepting that they're no longer going to be friends or
like together, you know, but they because they've had that
shared lived experience together, They've put each other into uncomfortable positions,
(27:49):
they've grown from it, and.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
I guess they knew each other for Like I love
this movie because of the timeline. Yeah, like I love
that we go over ten years.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Also in eighteen our drive is crazy and why is
she driving the whole entire time? Like, like, I guess
she's not, but it feels to me like she is
always driving, which had a lot of controlling with her
wondering at.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
The diner the way she does like everything on the side,
Like it totally makes sense that she would be.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Also was inspired by Nora because.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Like, if if you read like any of Nora's stuff
or whatever, she's like always freaking out about food.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
So particular yea, and she likes what she likes.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
What do y'all think this movie teaches us about love?
Speaker 5 (28:29):
This is maybe my little hopeless romantic coming out, but
like I feel like you really need to like recognize
when you have something special. But also it's a it's
hard to say because it's like it's a movie, it's
not real life.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
And it's it's.
Speaker 5 (28:49):
It's inspired, but like, really, whatever happened in real life
wasn't ever gonna be anything like that. There's never a
perfect usually never a perfect happy ending feeling to that,
which is why I love rom coms so much.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
I think that.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
What it teaches us about love is that imperfections don't
mean that you aren't perfect.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
For each other, I guess.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
And it's not necessarily that they're perfect for each other,
but it's that through the growth and time that they've
spent getting to know each other, their imperfections are mended
or at.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Least like come to get im.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
I can't pinpoint my thoughts, well, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
In friendship, you're like making more space I think for imperfection.
Like in friendship, like the bar is so for some
reason lower, and you can like be kind of a
mess because it feels like the stakes aren't as high because.
Speaker 5 (29:51):
In the context of monogamy, you can have as many
friends as you.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
Yeah, that's so true. So I think that, like, there's
something about the way their relationship lasted so long and
then it became romantic. It's something that I think should
happen more often, but doesn't happen that often. Things start
romantic so quickly, especially because of apps and everything too.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
They did say, when you know when you want to
spend the rest of your life with someone, you try
to start it as soon as possible.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
I love that line. I came here tonight, keep going.
Speaker 5 (30:28):
I came here tonight because when you realize you want
to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you
want the rest of your life to start as soon
as possible.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
God if someone said that to me, Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Well, I think it's such an interesting and beautiful line
because they've known each other for twelve years, you know,
or whatever it was, until they started being romantic, and
it's like, you want the rest of your life to
start as soon as possible.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
What about before then?
Speaker 1 (30:57):
But it was because of that growth, like that, that
journey that they went on together. Once he had that realization,
he was like, I can't let her go. And I
found it very like what we were talking about earlier,
like the constant calling. It was very much like boombox
outside of the window, very John Hughes high, except for
(31:19):
I found it to be a lot more respectful, Like
he didn't show up to her house, right, he didn't
go to her work.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
He was respectful.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
He was respectful in the sense of like he's like,
I don't want this to go away.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
I'm going to contact you how I can.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
I'm going to fill up the space.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
But like and as annoying and weird, it.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Wasn't like it coming to your house totally totally you're safe.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Still you're saying you're secure, but I would like, ye, yeah,
you can lock that door, but double locked maybe.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Okay. Last question, how many roses out of five would
you give this movie five?
Speaker 1 (32:00):
I would say I would give it four and a
half four roses. It's a good movie, Like it's solid,
it's a solid rom com. But when it comes to
the vignettes of the couples, I get that a five
because I was obsessed listening to these actors tell the
(32:23):
stories of like real life couples. It was like delicious,
Like yeah, it was. It was almost like a breath
of fresh air. It's like that was such a true
pure form of love, showing that everyone experiences love in
a different way. There are so many like when we
were talking about types of relationships and some of them
(32:46):
were friends and some of.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Them didn't know each other.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
Do you think you have to be friends first for
it to kind of be true love.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
I don't think so.
Speaker 5 (32:56):
No, I don't think so. I think like a good
relationship feels like you're good friends.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Yeah, a good relationship is built on trust, and I
think a lot of times with friendship, like what you
were saying, the expectations.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Are a lot less.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
So with the friendship, it's like you are a lot
more trusting with them, You're a lot more forgiving, And
I think that that is a good basis to a relationship.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
Who was you rather kiss Billy Crystal or Megrian Grian
Megran Megryan, Megan megrext question. That's my last question. Oh
that's all I have for us today. Thanks guys, thank
you for having Thank you so much to Nicky and
(33:49):
Andy for coming on the show today. I'll have what
they're having any day. Until next time, enjoy the fall
air and maybe tell that special someone how you really
feel what could go wrong? Thanks for listening. Talk to
you all next week. Boy Sover is a production of
(34:16):
iHeart Podcasts. I'm your host Hopewordard. Our executive producers are
Christina Everett and Julie Pinero. Our supervising producer is Emily Meronoff.
Our assistant producer is Logan Palau. Engineering by Bahid Fraser
and mixing and mastering by Abu Zafar. If you liked
(34:37):
this episode, please tell a friend and don't forget to rate, review,
and subscribe to boy Sober on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
and wherever you get your favorite shows.
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