October 8, 2025 • 38 mins
This week, Hope's friend Storrey brings us a tale about a recent tumultuous relationship involving a finance bro, Miami, and some power play.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, I'm Story and I'm not voiceover. I'm a boy aholic,
or is My friends and enemies like to call me
a slot.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
This is my friend's story performing at one of my
voiceover live shows. About a year ago.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Six months ago, I decided I wanted a little fun project,
so we're gonna call it the Heartbreak Project. I wanted
to find a very deserving man, make him fall helplessly
in love with me, manipulate him into doing whatever I wanted,
and break his heart at the end of the summer.
(00:40):
So I found myself on a little app called Field.
For those who don't know, it's a dating app for
sluts like me. And that's where I met a finance
bro from New Jersey at a bar in the East
Village across the street from his apartment.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
This week Story brings us a tale about a recent
tumultuous relationship involving a finance bro, Miami and some power play.
I'm hopewitdared, and welcome to voiceover a space where we're learning,
and I'm learning all the myths were taught about love
and relationships. Now that Boysover October is in full swing,
(01:37):
I'm still reflecting on everything that's happened with this journey
over the past two years. Although my first voiceover year
was a little bit chaotic, I'm really proud of the
monthly live shows I hosted where I invited comedians to
tell stories about their own experiences with love and relationships.
On stage. Today, we're talking to Story, who probably had
(01:59):
one of the most shocking and unhinged sets of that year.
A lot has happened since she first told this story,
so I brought her on to recount what's happened with
this finance bro that we're calling Kyle, and what the
experience has taught her about what she wants.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Story.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Welcome to boy Sober.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Thank you are so happy to be here.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
How are you feeling good?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
I'm nervous, but I'm excited. I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
What's got you nervous?
Speaker 1 (02:28):
This situation has changed a lot in the last year,
and it's been tumultuous, right, So, well, the story you
told was like a story tumultuous. Yeah, so it's already
tumultuous and like it's had lasting effects, lasting effects on
my life.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
So I want to go back to the beginning a
little because when you introduced the story at the show
you had like called it the Heartbreak Project. What was
your intention behind Heartbreak Project?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
It was like my villain origin, Like I wanted to
be evil villain woman.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Had you taken that role before? Like had you identified
as sort of like the evil woman? I identify as the
evil woman sometimes in romantic relationships.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yeah, yeah, I guess like I'm always kind of like
a bully. I like bullying men, so like kind of
like like it's kind of just like the best dynamic
for me. It's like kind of where I feel comfortable,
but never like so intentional as this or like so
like premeditated. Let's say, hmm. Because so I'd been in
a really serious, long term five years I think is
(03:36):
long relationship where like I thought we were going to
get married, and I mean like we both did and
then like it was from twenty to twenty five, so
like young yeah, formaitive years, formative years.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
And it was very stable.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
It was like like we fell in love really fast
and then like we stopped having sex okay, and like
I didn't really recognize that it was like a red flag.
I was still in love with him. I was like,
this is my libido thing. It's depression it's my meds.
It's not that, like we're just not compatible anymore. And
so we kind of like we were in a five
year relationship and we didn't have sex really, I mean
(04:10):
like have good sex for like three years. Sorry, wow,
had a five years.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
And so when you broke you broke up with him.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
I mean like we had some we had break up
conversations like totally we're ready right for like a year
before we actually broke up. We also have a dog together, and.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Who owns the dog? Now both of us you shared custody.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Yeah, I have heard during the week he has heard
on the weekend.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
So it's insane. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
So also, like going into dating after this relationship was
like funny to bring it up, Like I would bring
that up on a first.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Date, like I have shared custody with my dog, would
be like, what are your.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Biggest red flags? And then I would have one right there,
like I share custody of a dog totally X and honestly,
like it works great. We are good co parents and
I like value, like it's nice to have I have
weekends for you because the top.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
It feels like you're really practicing a divorce one day. Yeah,
it really I feel like they're always they don't always
happen for good reasons, and they don't happen easy. But
once a divorce happens, I'm like, okay, we can we
can start the healing process. Yeah, you can like move on,
move forward.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
It probably should have happened sooner, Like.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Okay, so really hard you and this guy.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
So then I come out of this relationship and I
went on dates since sounds like wow, men sucks so bad,
but it was like fun toying with them.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
M hm.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
So I was like, that's when the villain era started.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Okay, so walk me through it. You match on Field,
tell me like how y'all connected and how you've got
off the app? And in real life, he like pursued
me for a while.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
We texted back and forth. We end up meeting at
a bar across the street from his apartment.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
I mean we're just immediately talking about sex. That's like
what we connected, okay, and on Field so feel is
like sex forward.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yeah, Field is like we're kind of meeting to have sex. Yeah, okay,
so y'all are y'all are talking about sex? Yeah, and
you're like, let's get the heck out of here, let's
go across the street.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yeah, I think, I said, like, I like being commed
in by strangers, and he like, for the rest of
our relationship has referenced.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
That that being your first day conversation, like.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
That being like he was like in love with me immediately.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Uh huh?
Speaker 1 (06:16):
So we connected over cream pies?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Right, which is the term you taught me? Yeah, we
love a new term love some terminology.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yes, definitely a lot of terminology on field, a lot
of acronyms.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Was the sex good that night?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Because sex really amazing?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
The sex was amazing. Sometimes sex one night stand, like
first meeting, it's like so awkward and bad, but it
was good. How did you feel the day after? So
he sent me home in a car that night that night,
How did that make you feel?
Speaker 1 (06:50):
So I was like kind of surprised, and he was like, yeah,
I can't believe I did that. He was like, I
think I was trying to play hard to get okay
by sending me home in my car. Right, it was
like three in the morning. I get home and I'm
using my vibrator immediately for like a couple hours. Okay,
it was so hot, which is like I don't want
a man to go down on me, okay, because I
(07:10):
know that they're not gonna be able to do sure,
and I'm gonna be disappointed. And then also like I
just cannot like.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Wait, so did you come while y'all are having sex? No?
Speaker 1 (07:19):
And I never do? I never what? Yeah, I never know?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Okay, so what makes this less good for you? If
you're not coming?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Like coming the climax of sex is like such a
like that's like not the whole experience, of course, and
that's not like why I like having sex, Like I
don't want a partner who's determined to make me come
because I'm not going to. I'm gonna feel the pressure,
like I'm just not going to be able to perform
(07:46):
in that way. And I love giving head, but I
don't like receiving heads.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Well, they're actually so bad at it, so many of them. Yeah,
like it's so bad, and like how do you even
tell them? How do you teach them?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I don't know. I don't want to and I shouldn't
have to, right of course. And even like and I
think this is actually common, like my orgasms, so like
in order orgasm with a man, I have to have
a vibrator and I have to kind of be using
it on myself.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Yeah, when I'm having sex with a man, it's like
I have to make sure my table is being turned
in the correct way. You see what I'm saying. Yeah,
And I do that work.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Myself, and in the moment it's like, oknya shift like
the littlest.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
No, totally, Like you have to absolutely show them what
to do.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Yeah. Even when I'm using a vibrator, if there's like
another person there, it's I'm not having his quality of
an orgasm as with time when I'm with myself.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Well, we had a sex therapist on and she was
talking about how so many women have better solo sex
than partnered sex, and I guess there's a lot of
like exploring to do with that. And it is so
much of like I think, performance and expectation and what
we feel like we have to do and should do.
And when we're alone, we don't have to perform for anybody.
(08:53):
We can just like be in that moment. Yes, and
we're also in control of everything right like, which I
love totally.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
But then the partner I love not being in control. Well,
I love power dynamics. So part of this relationship and
sexual experience was playing with power dynamics and learning different
power dynamics for myself, right, and how did it progress? Well,
So we had been like really like casually, like we're
both seeing other people, we're both like talking about it.
(09:21):
I had started reading his texts.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
When was the first time you read his texts?
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Probably like a month into us seeing each other?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
And how did you read them?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Like?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
How did you get into his phone?
Speaker 1 (09:32):
So what I do is on like the third date,
you get their phone password.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
How do you get their phone password?
Speaker 1 (09:39):
It's so easy. You're like flirting, like you're like I
literally just want to play a song or like look
look something. Oh, my phone's in the other room. I
want to look something up. Like you act like they made.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
It weird so you gaslight them.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah, of course, of course you have to play a
little games to get their phone passwords. Totally, when I
got his phone password, I wasn't like I'm gonna read
his text It was like weeks later that I started
reading his text.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
And what made you want to read them? Were you
suspicious or are you just generally suspicious? Because like I
went through my ex's computer when he's like an angel,
just like looking for something, knowing I would probably find nothing,
but did you have a hunch.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Yeah, well yeah, when you have a hunch, it's probably right.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Total. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
So, I mean when I first checked his phone, we
weren't dating, it wasn't exclusive. I was just like, oh,
he's saying all these things to me, Like what is
he saying to other women? Like is he actually obsessed
with me? Or is this like love bombing? Is this
just like what he does? So the first time I
checked his texts, I felt like, Sabriena Carpenter, please, please,
(10:49):
please don't prove on right? Thank you. But his texts
obviously did prove me right, and he was exactly the
type of guy that I knew him to be. I
couldn't care less. I was so uninvested in him. I
didn't care that he was seeing other girls. It was fine,
But every time after that I cared a little bit
(11:12):
more and a little bit more and a little bit more.
His dating style made him a perfect victim for my
(11:35):
heartbreak project. We had both agreed early on that we
didn't want to be in a serious relationship. We both
preferred having sex with new people, so for months we
pretended that every date was our first and that we
were perpetual strangers, but in reality, he was rapidly falling
in love with me, all while I was waking up
in the middle of the night to scour his phone
(11:56):
for a few hours reading texts with tons of other girls,
where he would lead them on. He would reach out
to them to plan romantic dates with them, only to
bail on them a few hours before to go and
see me.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
So you felt a little bit special?
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah, and I love feeling special? Do we all? Do?
Speaker 2 (12:16):
We all like that's what we're taught. It's like if
you're the chosen one, you're the best one. Like that's
you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Like, yeah, and I think, Okay, let's get into my psychology.
Like from a young age in middle school, my friends
were having boyfriend My friends were popular, and I remember
like one of our guy friends being like, story, you
haven't had a boyfriend yet in like like freshman year.
So actually, I'm not a late bloomer. I had sex
for the first time at fifteen, which I think is
(12:43):
relatively really, but I always felt like a late bloomer.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
I always felt like ugly duckling. So when I'm like,
why am I like this? Why am I like obsessed
with male validation?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
God? Everything does go back to like middle school, high school,
even elementary school.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Yeah. No, I feel like his formative years ten twelve, thirteen.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Again, when you go through his phone and you find
him texting other people, do you confront him or do
you hold on to it?
Speaker 1 (13:10):
No? But he was pretty open about like we were
talking about other people we were dating, and da da
da da da. And he would say that he's talking
about me on these dates with other girls. Uh huh,
And I don't know if that's true. You know, everything
he says, I'm like taking it with a ran of salt.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
But I was like, you cannot use me to make
other women feel bad, Like he was basically telling them
all the things he loved about me.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Wait, okay, let me just get this straight. Y'all were open, Yeah,
And you were going through his phone and you found
out he was texting other people and you were okay
with it. Yeah, And the only problem you had with
it was the fact that he was bragging about you
while he was on these dates with other people.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
And like making them want to be like me, okay,
so that they could get his validation too. And This
is where my mentality started to shift. I told him,
we don't have to be exclusive, and if you wanted
to see other girls, we should just talk about it
and I'd be cool with it. After all, we'd been
dating other people for months, so it'll be fine. But
(14:05):
he insisted that he only wanted me. He started saying
things like, I've never felt this way about anyone, and
cuddling with you is better than sex with anyone else.
I was finally the only girl in the world. For weeks,
we repeated this conversation over and over and over again,
and eventually I started to want to believe him.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
So he has the let's be exclusive conversation.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
It was like, he doesn't want to see other people, okay, right,
there's a caveat to y'all exclusivity. Yeah, and there always
has been. It's always been that I can see other
people and he can't. And I immediately when he said
that the first time that I want to be with
you and only you. It wasn't like being my girlfriend.
It was like exclusive, which is like i'm your girlfriend then,
but whatever.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Yeah, whatever, what is that?
Speaker 1 (14:54):
I don't know?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
So many people, yeah, were exclusive.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I'm your girlfriend? Yeah, yeah, he he was saying that,
and I was reading his text, so I knew that,
like he was still had not shut down these other
he got on like a couple dates with the other people,
had not shut them down. So I was like giving
him the out. I was like, we don't have to
do that.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
You like knew he was lying to you, and you
would just like let him lie be you Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Because I.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Was like there's a better way. I was like, I'm
gonna get revenge on him. Heart goes back to heartbreak project,
Like he has to be so obsessed, and I didn't
want to be like I'm reading your text at this point,
like I didn't have enough, Like it wasn't climactic, it
wasn't a madic enough. I wasn't ready to confront him,
and like I never really was. It came like I
(15:38):
got him to confess to cheating twice after So the
first time he cheated, it was when we were exclusive,
and he said that he wanted me to be the
only girl, and I was I had to be somewhere
near his apartment the next morning. He said he had
to be at his mom's house that night, Saturday night,
and then so I'm sleeping in his bed alone, and
(16:00):
I come to find out he's at a bar like
ten blocks away in the West Village with another girl.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
You found that out through his phone or if someone
told you, Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
So that was the first time he cheated. And that
was like a week, not even a week, less than
a week before we go to Miami. I find out
like a couple of days before we got to Miami.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Do you think it's worth it?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Though?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Like the chaos and the you kind of liked the
chaos though.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I loved Okay. The other thing is I never had
a toxic relationship. I'd have such relationships, yeah, but like
I never had like a relationship that was toxic like that.
So yeah, I did going into the relationship. I didn't
want a relationship. And if it was a relationship, it
had to have a lot of benefits and like a
lot of chaos, and I had to have a lot
(16:46):
of power.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
I will say I was I remember watching your Close
Friends story during this time and just like seeing sushi
on planes in hotels and dinners, and I was like
a little inspired.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Yeah, yeah, no, And those are things I still want,
right and those are That's the reason I've stayed. I
stayed with him for.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
He stayed with him for his money.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Yeah, and I would again.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
We were actually talking about this earlier, like finance bros
in general, like is it ethical or not to be
with them?
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yeah, yeah, I did have friendship breakups because they were like,
it's unethical to be with someone who works in private
equity because private equity is ruining the world, which I.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Agree, Well, there are so many things ruining the world,
that's true. I don't know, I'm torn about it. I'm like,
I think if you are dating someone in finance, like
sometimes you just kind of have to like get your money,
get your bad girl, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Yeah, I don't know, which is how I felt like
the whole time. I was like, I'm just gonna like
ask for what i want, manipulate for what I want,
and let's see how far this goes. And it's not serious.
Until it was. Miami was the most romantic experience that
either of us had ever had. We spent the whole
week kissing on the beach, kissing in the night clubs,
kissing in the hot tub, kissing in the pool, and
(18:04):
falling in love over and over and over again. Every
night on Moonlit sheets in the most Prickturesque hotel on
the most gorgeous speech you've ever seen. Three days in
at lunch, he told me he loved me for the
first time, and with a lump in my throat, I
set it back. He finally asked, will you be my girlfriend?
(18:31):
And I replied, I already am.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
When y'all were going to Miami, did you love him?
Did you like him? What were like your honest feelings
about him? If you had to say?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
See so, what I say is when I would tell
my friends that I didn't love him, I felt like
I was lying. But when I told my friends that
I did love him, it also felt like I was
lying right to myself. Huh, I'm both ways. I was
trying to convince myself you don't love him, you do
love him. It was like so, when he said he
loves me for the first time in Miami and will
(19:08):
you be my girlfriend? I said, I love him back,
but like in the back of my head, like I
know he had just lied and slept with another girl
like less than a week before that.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Mm hmm. But I was even knew when he said
I love you, Yeah, but he didn't know that you knew,
yeah that it feels insane to me. Yeah, and you
didn't say like fuck you, I know you slept with
somebody or why not?
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Because I did believe that he loved me, and he
loved me like he was more into me than he
was into these other people. And I was right. Whatever
people are gonna say, I'm deluciable, but like I was right.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
When do you feel like the power dynamics sort of shifted?
Speaker 1 (19:43):
I mean when he was like sleeping with other girls
and lying, Like the lying was the betrayal, not because
I was giving him the out, Like even after he
cheated for the first time before Miami and told me
he wasn't seeing anyone else. Even after that, I was like, okay,
but if you want to see other people, that's fine
(20:04):
because I also want to see other people. Let's just
like be talking about it. Like what was rude was
the lying? Like and then like when we finally get
a confrontation, he's like, well, you told me I could
do it, So I think, like, if you told me
I couldn't do it, I wouldn't have wanted to, don't.
I don't like that was just that was a lie,
That was an excuse that was bullshit because I'm like, no,
(20:25):
I told you, if you want to see other people,
we could talk about it, right, But we weren't talking
about it. You weren't telling me. There was no discussion. Yeah,
it broke my heart. It broke my heart. I told
my therapist, I will break his heart at the end
of this, but he's gonna break my heart a million
times over before then, secretly I didn't want him seeing
other girls, and definitely not behind my back. The lying
(20:48):
was the worse betrayal than the cheating, although if I'm honest,
the worst pain was realizing that while I thought I
was pulling all the strings, his text revealed that he
was pulling some strings of his. I wanted to continue
using and manipulating him, but I didn't want him to
return the fucking favor. When we returned to New York,
(21:27):
I left the city for ten days, the longest period
of time we'd spent a part since we met. I
did not want to believe my friends who told me
that he'd be cheating while I was gone, but when
I heard his voice on the phone, I was deeply suspicious.
At this point, I was hopeful and delusional. Maybe that
(21:48):
since we had just returned from our whirlwind romantic getaway
that maybe, just maybe he would change for me. Supposedly
the love of his life Miami had completely shifted my
mentality on myself. Wanting the love story to be true,
I wasn't sure how this had happened, but it had.
(22:08):
At the same time, I knew that his actions showed
me who he really was, and that meant that I
could not have him in the way that I had
somehow ended up wanting it to be.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
So what made you finally want to confront him? Did
someone tell you too or what?
Speaker 1 (22:25):
No, it was I was going crazy. So he cheated
on me again. I'm fuming. I'm off the handle. I
told him I was mad at him, like in bed
with him the next morning after reading his text the
night before, because I had a dream that he had
cheated on me, And he asked me, like what happened
in the dream, And I was like so close to
(22:46):
being like just saying exactly what he'd done, but I didn't.
I called my cool, but I was like, I have
a feeling, I have an intuition, just like something is
off here. I would point out like inconsistencies, like he
had this picture pictures of me like on the like
credenza or whatever, and it was like flipped over.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Yah.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
And he only did that when like somebody came wait
literally and then.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Like it's always like it's always like a bedside table
that will get a man caught.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Yeah, Like I have a friend who caught her boyfriend's
situationship whatever because he had like like a romantic novel
on his bedside table and she was like, no, you
would never be reading.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
That and someone had left it there.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Yeah, another girl had left it there. Bedside table will
give it away. Yeah, so you're spinning lies because you know, yeah,
you're trying to get him to admit.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Well, I was like, I'm not gonna incriminate myself as
someone who's read his text. He has to admit it
without me admitting that I'd been reading his text.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
How did you get him to finally admit it?
Speaker 1 (23:48):
I mean he denied it flat out forever, and then
he would tell me half truths and then I was
just like I'm leaving, like you're not telling me the truth. Uh,
and I stormed out. He texted me, I'm ready to
tell the whole truth, and then he unseent that text.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
I was like, bitch, I saw that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
He said, I'm ready to admit the whole truth. You
saw it. He unsends it, so it says the text
unsent And then what did you say?
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Nothing? Nothing? He kept calling me and calling me, and
I called his best friend and I asked him if
he thought that he could be loyal about seeing other people.
So he was like, you know, he loves you, but like,
I don't know, I can't vouch for him, which is
like if your best friend is saying.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
That, like yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Then so I had screenshots that I had sent myself
of the text with the girls who he had cheated with.
You're evidence my evidence. Yeah, of course I had the
evidence because when he eventually let me go through his
phone when he was still in like part he was
telling partial truth, partial.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Life he had I was like, yes, supid, I know
you idiot.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Yeah, I have these screen shots, and you know the
contacts are not safe. So the number is right at
the top. I called those girls.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
You called the girls? Wait, I called know how many
girls did you call too? And what did you talk about?
Speaker 1 (25:06):
You do with two girls? One of them didn't pick
up and one of well one of them did. Were you?
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Like, hey girl?
Speaker 1 (25:13):
And I was like, were you at the Nines on
Saturday with a man named Kyle? She she was like yeah, why,
Like who is this? And I was like, oh, this
is his girlfriend who he's cheating on.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
What did she say?
Speaker 1 (25:25):
She was like so apologetic, She was like, oh my god,
I was just using him for drinks. I was just
using sure dinner.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Like to me, it's always the man's fault. No, I
was not has no allegiance to you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Of course, and like she didn't even know I existed.
But I was not mad at her obviously. I was
just like, if I like didn't have the text, I
would have believed him, which is so scary. Your a
man is lying to you, like men are men are lying,
Men are lying and they're so good at it, Like
get the evidence, do not believe him?
Speaker 2 (26:00):
So how do you? Finally so he get him to
admit it.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
When I walk back through his door, I said, I'm
just here to get my stuff. I'm leaving. He tested
me with you want me to help you bring down
your bags. I called his bluff with a simple yes,
and he caved and he said please baby, No, sit down, baby,
I'll tell you the whole truth. And then he did.
He finally did, and he when he was done for
(26:27):
counting his sins, I asked, how can I ever trust
you again? And he said, well, what if when we're apart,
you keep my cock in a cage. It's a real
thing and we're using it. Yes, it's like a chastity
belt for men.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
That is so crazy And I had never heard about
that until you told me the story. He tell me
how it works. A chastity belt for a man. Cage,
chastity cage for a man. How does it work?
Speaker 1 (27:01):
So there's a ring okay, yeah, okay, there's a ring
that goes around the balls.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Okay because basically like.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
It's all it's staying together because it's like like the
balls will not let it.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
The balls are in there too, the ball.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
The balls are through the ring. Okay.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Okay. Is he wearing an outside during the day. Yeah,
he's wearing it to work.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
There was like a week where I went out of
town and he wore it for a week to work.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Did you have a key?
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Yeah? How does he relieve himself? I mean, there's a
I think they have to sit down to pee, which
is also better for your public floor. Then you should
be just sitting down to pee.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Okay. So there's a there's a ring around the balls.
The balls are out, there's a there's a ring that.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Goes like the balls go through the bottom of the
ring and the cock goes through the top of the ring.
But both are in the ring. And then the top
of the ring, which is above the cock. Yeah, that's
where the lock. And so then the cage goes on
the cock and connects at the top of the ring.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Yeah, so you'd unlock it like that.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Yeah, lock and unlocked from like right totally.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
That's like typically, and you take the key out of town.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
So it comes with two keys.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Scary, it comes with two keys.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
I hid one of the keys in his apartment.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Okay, that's kind of fun.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
I didn't tell where it was, okay, because I was like,
if there's an emergency or something, and and he never
asked for it, I can't tell.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
That's nice.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
The story doesn't end there because that night I went
to dinner with my best friends and when I returned home,
I found him on my laptop reading all of my texts,
just like you've been doing to me. For months. He said,
he had read all of the horrible things I'd said
(28:59):
about him being short and ugly and undtable and a
loser with no taste, an out of his complex and
a receding hairline. He'd read all of my insane, psychotic,
diabolical plans to ruin his life, he said, I read
it all. I said, it'll just leave, and he said leave.
(29:26):
You can't leave now, not after all this, I feel
like I finally know how your brain works. I love you.
He had seen the inner workings of my mind in
my text with my best friends. He now knew how
fucking sick in the head I am, and he loved
(29:48):
me more. He he loved me more, not in spite
of my psychoses, but because of them.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
You told this story a year ago, almost exactly. Yeah,
so retelling it now and looking at it now a
year out, where are y'all? It worked for a little while.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
I believe he's been faithful to me since then, which
even when he's not in a cage, he has had
opportunities to not be faithful, So that could be true.
And I have, like, I mean, I think like when
there's an infidelity, you can't move fast. It really like,
I don't know if I'll ever trust him when he
has the opportunity to cheat. I'm like, right, I always said,
(30:30):
like from the beginning, and it got messy in the
middle and everything, where like I had real feelings for him.
Mm mm call it love if you want, I.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Still have feelings. You still have feelings for him? Now? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Yeah, it's complicated. It can't work out right now. I mean.
The other thing is that he bought an engagement ring,
the ring that I asked him to buy.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
Yeah, do you have it?
Speaker 1 (30:54):
No? Because he he knows that I, you know, wanted
the ring, well, I mean to be engaged whatever, Like
I think that would have been fun. And I think
he just held it over my head for so long
and I was like, I can't keep being with someone
just like to wait for this because he knows it's
like the ring that I wanted.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
So you abandoned the heartbreak project? Or do you still feel.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Like that's I'm like, I haven't really told like my
friends that I'm like not seeing him, oh, like that
I'm not talking to him because every time I've done that,
I've gone back to him. And that's so embarrassing. I'd
say like I'm the closest now that I've ever been
to like being rid of him. I don't know what
(31:39):
the future holds, but I learned a lot about myself
and what I want in a relationship and like what
I like kind of need in a relationship.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
I do know that, like because you've told me, like
walking away from this relationship now, it has not been
easy on you.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Yeah, it's been tough. I mean I had a lot
of friendship breakups, and I like I just didn't I
went into this relationship being like this is fun and
games and silly, and I thought my friends would be like, Haha,
we'll make fun of him together. This is funny, and
they were like, this is kind of like sick, Like
you're kind of like messed up for this and I
can't be around you anymore. And I was like, oh,
(32:16):
like that way, And then I wasn't able to be
like you're right, I'll and I'll leave him for you basically,
and that sucked because I I want to say, I
never truly saw this being like a long term thing.
I saw this as like an experimental period, which is
like what it what it truly is to its score,
(32:37):
But like I didn't think because of that. I didn't
think that my friends would have like that we would
part ways because of it.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Oh god, it's so tough.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
And but okay, it is tough in an era where
we're like leave men, and like, I believe this, like
you know, boy sober, prioritize yourself, like prioritize your career,
your end, prioritize your friendships. And then I'm like, I
know that I did not handle this well. I know
that I fucked this up in some way or another.
(33:08):
I am like, I think I would do it pretty similarly,
Like I think I did need this for my process
for myself, but I wish that I had handled the
friendship part differently. I missed the friends that I lost.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Of course. The thing about friendship though is I do
think things can come back around, like with time, friends
do come back around in surprising ways. So you never
and you're not talking to him right now?
Speaker 1 (33:35):
Yeah, so I've been And how long.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Has it been since y'all haven't talked?
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Like exactly a week, dude, which is long, which is
long for me.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
That's so funny.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
No, this is why I'm not telling people though, because
I'm like, I mean people are.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Obsessed with each other. Sure you know.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Yeah, I hate to admit that I am, but like
I mean, and yeah, And.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
The thing is, I don't I think the listeners know this.
But he was at the storytelling show when you told
the story. He was in the crowd. Can I say
this with another girl?
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Yeah, he did bring a date.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
He brought a date to the show, a date.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
That he met on a dating app and like had
gone on dates with before, like years prior to this.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
And a part of y'all's relationship dynamic is like him
being humiliated in front of other girls.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
I think that it's more like in front of other men.
But like I think a part, a big part of
like a typical aspect of like a cuck kink interest
fetish is like being humiliated in front of like your
girlfriend's friends.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
So No, I remember him standing like so casually in
the back after you had just told the story, and
I was just like, wow, this man is insane.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
Yeah no, yeah, and yeah, and he is. I mean,
like I also was like amazed by him sometimes, like
the way that like I don't know, and I'm just
like I never met someone who was able to like
go over mental hurdles, just like using his kink, like
he was just able to make it like incorporate it
(35:09):
part of the kink dynamic between us, and like it
would be fine even like the like psycho things that
I would do. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
So you're seven days out from seven days over, you
know what? Yeah, with your reconship to the word voiceover, like.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
I think, like post like tumultuous dramatic relationship, I will
be voiceover for like a period of time, maybe like
six months.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
The thing one lesson that I have learned is to
never give myself a timeline, right because I if I
put a timeline on the table, it's like I'm just waiting.
It's just that's like a it's a day by day
that's like loose.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
Based on like post five year relationship, I was like,
I need to learn how to like be alone with.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Myself, right, which, like I hate.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Being alone up here, So it's good to get comfortable
with that.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
What one thing you've had to unlearn about heartbreak?
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Like going into this heartbreak project, I thought I was
just gonna be able to like detach from it and
just like have him be emotionally invested without getting emotionally
invested in myself and oh, such a lie I told
myself or something I unlearned was like I broke my
own heart a million times.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
Well, hey, congratulations on seven days.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Thank you. He did. Okay, I was gonna say he
did send me money. He did send me one hundred
dollars like three days ago, but I didn't respond. And
he is calling. I have blocked him, blocked. He is
calling me like no caller ID star sixty seven. Yeah,
he's calling and I'm not picking up, which is big
because yeah, I love to pick up.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
Let that man go for a minute.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
I'm also like one hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Hell, no, one hundred. I'm gonna get you right now.
Trump's America.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
I'm like, I need ten times one hundred times. Ten
times is one thousand dollar dollars. One hundred times is
ten thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
One hundred thousand dollars, and you'll pick.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Up, yeah, one hundred thousand dollars and pick up all right, there.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
You go now, you know, Okay, Story, thank you so
much for coming on and thanks for having me so
so fun great news listeners. It has now been a
month since Story and I talked and I have an
update that she has not talked to her finance bros. Since.
I hope y'all were entertained by this story and maybe
(37:26):
got some ideas on how to spice up a sticky
situation of your own. Re Listening to this is making
me think I need to get that live show back
up and running, so stay tuned for updates on that.
Until then, Thank you so much for listening, and I'll
talk to y'all next week. Boysover is a production of
(37:55):
iHeart Podcasts. I'm your host Hopewardard. Our executive produce are
Christina Everett and Julie Pinero. Our supervising producer is Emily Meronoff.
Our assistant producer is Logan Palau. Engineering by Bahid Fraser
and mixing and mastering by Abu Zafar. If you liked
(38:16):
this episode, please tell a friend and don't forget to rate, review,
and subscribe to boy Sober on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
and wherever you get your favorite shows.
Hi, I'm Story and I'm not voiceover. I'm a boy aholic,
or is My friends and enemies like to call me
a slot.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
This is my friend's story performing at one of my
voiceover live shows. About a year ago.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Six months ago, I decided I wanted a little fun project,
so we're gonna call it the Heartbreak Project. I wanted
to find a very deserving man, make him fall helplessly
in love with me, manipulate him into doing whatever I wanted,
and break his heart at the end of the summer.
(00:40):
So I found myself on a little app called Field.
For those who don't know, it's a dating app for
sluts like me. And that's where I met a finance
bro from New Jersey at a bar in the East
Village across the street from his apartment.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
This week Story brings us a tale about a recent
tumultuous relationship involving a finance bro, Miami and some power play.
I'm hopewitdared, and welcome to voiceover a space where we're learning,
and I'm learning all the myths were taught about love
and relationships. Now that Boysover October is in full swing,
(01:37):
I'm still reflecting on everything that's happened with this journey
over the past two years. Although my first voiceover year
was a little bit chaotic, I'm really proud of the
monthly live shows I hosted where I invited comedians to
tell stories about their own experiences with love and relationships.
On stage. Today, we're talking to Story, who probably had
(01:59):
one of the most shocking and unhinged sets of that year.
A lot has happened since she first told this story,
so I brought her on to recount what's happened with
this finance bro that we're calling Kyle, and what the
experience has taught her about what she wants.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Story.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Welcome to boy Sober.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Thank you are so happy to be here.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
How are you feeling good?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
I'm nervous, but I'm excited. I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
What's got you nervous?
Speaker 1 (02:28):
This situation has changed a lot in the last year,
and it's been tumultuous, right, So, well, the story you
told was like a story tumultuous. Yeah, so it's already
tumultuous and like it's had lasting effects, lasting effects on
my life.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
So I want to go back to the beginning a
little because when you introduced the story at the show
you had like called it the Heartbreak Project. What was
your intention behind Heartbreak Project?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
It was like my villain origin, Like I wanted to
be evil villain woman.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Had you taken that role before? Like had you identified
as sort of like the evil woman? I identify as the
evil woman sometimes in romantic relationships.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Yeah, yeah, I guess like I'm always kind of like
a bully. I like bullying men, so like kind of
like like it's kind of just like the best dynamic
for me. It's like kind of where I feel comfortable,
but never like so intentional as this or like so
like premeditated. Let's say, hmm. Because so I'd been in
a really serious, long term five years I think is
(03:36):
long relationship where like I thought we were going to
get married, and I mean like we both did and
then like it was from twenty to twenty five, so
like young yeah, formaitive years, formative years.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
And it was very stable.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
It was like like we fell in love really fast
and then like we stopped having sex okay, and like
I didn't really recognize that it was like a red flag.
I was still in love with him. I was like,
this is my libido thing. It's depression it's my meds.
It's not that, like we're just not compatible anymore. And
so we kind of like we were in a five
year relationship and we didn't have sex really, I mean
(04:10):
like have good sex for like three years. Sorry, wow,
had a five years.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
And so when you broke you broke up with him.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
I mean like we had some we had break up
conversations like totally we're ready right for like a year
before we actually broke up. We also have a dog together, and.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Who owns the dog? Now both of us you shared custody.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Yeah, I have heard during the week he has heard
on the weekend.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
So it's insane. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
So also, like going into dating after this relationship was
like funny to bring it up, Like I would bring
that up on a first.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Date, like I have shared custody with my dog, would
be like, what are your.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Biggest red flags? And then I would have one right there,
like I share custody of a dog totally X and honestly,
like it works great. We are good co parents and
I like value, like it's nice to have I have
weekends for you because the top.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
It feels like you're really practicing a divorce one day. Yeah,
it really I feel like they're always they don't always
happen for good reasons, and they don't happen easy. But
once a divorce happens, I'm like, okay, we can we
can start the healing process. Yeah, you can like move on,
move forward.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
It probably should have happened sooner, Like.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Okay, so really hard you and this guy.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
So then I come out of this relationship and I
went on dates since sounds like wow, men sucks so bad,
but it was like fun toying with them.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
M hm.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
So I was like, that's when the villain era started.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Okay, so walk me through it. You match on Field,
tell me like how y'all connected and how you've got
off the app? And in real life, he like pursued
me for a while.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
We texted back and forth. We end up meeting at
a bar across the street from his apartment.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
I mean we're just immediately talking about sex. That's like
what we connected, okay, and on Field so feel is
like sex forward.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yeah, Field is like we're kind of meeting to have sex. Yeah, okay,
so y'all are y'all are talking about sex? Yeah, and
you're like, let's get the heck out of here, let's
go across the street.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yeah, I think, I said, like, I like being commed
in by strangers, and he like, for the rest of
our relationship has referenced.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
That that being your first day conversation, like.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
That being like he was like in love with me immediately.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Uh huh?
Speaker 1 (06:16):
So we connected over cream pies?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Right, which is the term you taught me? Yeah, we
love a new term love some terminology.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yes, definitely a lot of terminology on field, a lot
of acronyms.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Was the sex good that night?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Because sex really amazing?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
The sex was amazing. Sometimes sex one night stand, like
first meeting, it's like so awkward and bad, but it
was good. How did you feel the day after? So
he sent me home in a car that night that night,
How did that make you feel?
Speaker 1 (06:50):
So I was like kind of surprised, and he was like, yeah,
I can't believe I did that. He was like, I
think I was trying to play hard to get okay
by sending me home in my car. Right, it was
like three in the morning. I get home and I'm
using my vibrator immediately for like a couple hours. Okay,
it was so hot, which is like I don't want
a man to go down on me, okay, because I
(07:10):
know that they're not gonna be able to do sure,
and I'm gonna be disappointed. And then also like I
just cannot like.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Wait, so did you come while y'all are having sex? No?
Speaker 1 (07:19):
And I never do? I never what? Yeah, I never know?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Okay, so what makes this less good for you? If
you're not coming?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Like coming the climax of sex is like such a
like that's like not the whole experience, of course, and
that's not like why I like having sex, Like I
don't want a partner who's determined to make me come
because I'm not going to. I'm gonna feel the pressure,
like I'm just not going to be able to perform
(07:46):
in that way. And I love giving head, but I
don't like receiving heads.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Well, they're actually so bad at it, so many of them. Yeah,
like it's so bad, and like how do you even
tell them? How do you teach them?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I don't know. I don't want to and I shouldn't
have to, right of course. And even like and I
think this is actually common, like my orgasms, so like
in order orgasm with a man, I have to have
a vibrator and I have to kind of be using
it on myself.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Yeah, when I'm having sex with a man, it's like
I have to make sure my table is being turned
in the correct way. You see what I'm saying. Yeah,
And I do that work.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Myself, and in the moment it's like, oknya shift like
the littlest.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
No, totally, Like you have to absolutely show them what
to do.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Yeah. Even when I'm using a vibrator, if there's like
another person there, it's I'm not having his quality of
an orgasm as with time when I'm with myself.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Well, we had a sex therapist on and she was
talking about how so many women have better solo sex
than partnered sex, and I guess there's a lot of
like exploring to do with that. And it is so
much of like I think, performance and expectation and what
we feel like we have to do and should do.
And when we're alone, we don't have to perform for anybody.
(08:53):
We can just like be in that moment. Yes, and
we're also in control of everything right like, which I
love totally.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
But then the partner I love not being in control. Well,
I love power dynamics. So part of this relationship and
sexual experience was playing with power dynamics and learning different
power dynamics for myself, right, and how did it progress? Well,
So we had been like really like casually, like we're
both seeing other people, we're both like talking about it.
(09:21):
I had started reading his texts.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
When was the first time you read his texts?
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Probably like a month into us seeing each other?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
And how did you read them?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Like?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
How did you get into his phone?
Speaker 1 (09:32):
So what I do is on like the third date,
you get their phone password.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
How do you get their phone password?
Speaker 1 (09:39):
It's so easy. You're like flirting, like you're like I
literally just want to play a song or like look
look something. Oh, my phone's in the other room. I
want to look something up. Like you act like they made.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
It weird so you gaslight them.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah, of course, of course you have to play a
little games to get their phone passwords. Totally, when I
got his phone password, I wasn't like I'm gonna read
his text It was like weeks later that I started
reading his text.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
And what made you want to read them? Were you
suspicious or are you just generally suspicious? Because like I
went through my ex's computer when he's like an angel,
just like looking for something, knowing I would probably find nothing,
but did you have a hunch.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Yeah, well yeah, when you have a hunch, it's probably right.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Total. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
So, I mean when I first checked his phone, we
weren't dating, it wasn't exclusive. I was just like, oh,
he's saying all these things to me, Like what is
he saying to other women? Like is he actually obsessed
with me? Or is this like love bombing? Is this
just like what he does? So the first time I
checked his texts, I felt like, Sabriena Carpenter, please, please,
(10:49):
please don't prove on right? Thank you. But his texts
obviously did prove me right, and he was exactly the
type of guy that I knew him to be. I
couldn't care less. I was so uninvested in him. I
didn't care that he was seeing other girls. It was fine,
But every time after that I cared a little bit
(11:12):
more and a little bit more and a little bit more.
His dating style made him a perfect victim for my
(11:35):
heartbreak project. We had both agreed early on that we
didn't want to be in a serious relationship. We both
preferred having sex with new people, so for months we
pretended that every date was our first and that we
were perpetual strangers, but in reality, he was rapidly falling
in love with me, all while I was waking up
in the middle of the night to scour his phone
(11:56):
for a few hours reading texts with tons of other girls,
where he would lead them on. He would reach out
to them to plan romantic dates with them, only to
bail on them a few hours before to go and
see me.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
So you felt a little bit special?
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah, and I love feeling special? Do we all? Do?
Speaker 2 (12:16):
We all like that's what we're taught. It's like if
you're the chosen one, you're the best one. Like that's
you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Like, yeah, and I think, Okay, let's get into my psychology.
Like from a young age in middle school, my friends
were having boyfriend My friends were popular, and I remember
like one of our guy friends being like, story, you
haven't had a boyfriend yet in like like freshman year.
So actually, I'm not a late bloomer. I had sex
for the first time at fifteen, which I think is
(12:43):
relatively really, but I always felt like a late bloomer.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
I always felt like ugly duckling. So when I'm like,
why am I like this? Why am I like obsessed
with male validation?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
God? Everything does go back to like middle school, high school,
even elementary school.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Yeah. No, I feel like his formative years ten twelve, thirteen.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Again, when you go through his phone and you find
him texting other people, do you confront him or do
you hold on to it?
Speaker 1 (13:10):
No? But he was pretty open about like we were
talking about other people we were dating, and da da
da da da. And he would say that he's talking
about me on these dates with other girls. Uh huh,
And I don't know if that's true. You know, everything
he says, I'm like taking it with a ran of salt.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
But I was like, you cannot use me to make
other women feel bad, Like he was basically telling them
all the things he loved about me.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Wait, okay, let me just get this straight. Y'all were open, Yeah,
And you were going through his phone and you found
out he was texting other people and you were okay
with it. Yeah, And the only problem you had with
it was the fact that he was bragging about you
while he was on these dates with other people.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
And like making them want to be like me, okay,
so that they could get his validation too. And This
is where my mentality started to shift. I told him,
we don't have to be exclusive, and if you wanted
to see other girls, we should just talk about it
and I'd be cool with it. After all, we'd been
dating other people for months, so it'll be fine. But
(14:05):
he insisted that he only wanted me. He started saying
things like, I've never felt this way about anyone, and
cuddling with you is better than sex with anyone else.
I was finally the only girl in the world. For weeks,
we repeated this conversation over and over and over again,
and eventually I started to want to believe him.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
So he has the let's be exclusive conversation.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
It was like, he doesn't want to see other people, okay, right,
there's a caveat to y'all exclusivity. Yeah, and there always
has been. It's always been that I can see other
people and he can't. And I immediately when he said
that the first time that I want to be with
you and only you. It wasn't like being my girlfriend.
It was like exclusive, which is like i'm your girlfriend then,
but whatever.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Yeah, whatever, what is that?
Speaker 1 (14:54):
I don't know?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
So many people, yeah, were exclusive.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I'm your girlfriend? Yeah, yeah, he he was saying that,
and I was reading his text, so I knew that,
like he was still had not shut down these other
he got on like a couple dates with the other people,
had not shut them down. So I was like giving
him the out. I was like, we don't have to
do that.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
You like knew he was lying to you, and you
would just like let him lie be you Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Because I.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Was like there's a better way. I was like, I'm
gonna get revenge on him. Heart goes back to heartbreak project,
Like he has to be so obsessed, and I didn't
want to be like I'm reading your text at this point,
like I didn't have enough, Like it wasn't climactic, it
wasn't a madic enough. I wasn't ready to confront him,
and like I never really was. It came like I
(15:38):
got him to confess to cheating twice after So the
first time he cheated, it was when we were exclusive,
and he said that he wanted me to be the
only girl, and I was I had to be somewhere
near his apartment the next morning. He said he had
to be at his mom's house that night, Saturday night,
and then so I'm sleeping in his bed alone, and
(16:00):
I come to find out he's at a bar like
ten blocks away in the West Village with another girl.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
You found that out through his phone or if someone
told you, Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
So that was the first time he cheated. And that
was like a week, not even a week, less than
a week before we go to Miami. I find out
like a couple of days before we got to Miami.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Do you think it's worth it?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Though?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Like the chaos and the you kind of liked the
chaos though.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I loved Okay. The other thing is I never had
a toxic relationship. I'd have such relationships, yeah, but like
I never had like a relationship that was toxic like that.
So yeah, I did going into the relationship. I didn't
want a relationship. And if it was a relationship, it
had to have a lot of benefits and like a
lot of chaos, and I had to have a lot
(16:46):
of power.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
I will say I was I remember watching your Close
Friends story during this time and just like seeing sushi
on planes in hotels and dinners, and I was like
a little inspired.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Yeah, yeah, no, And those are things I still want,
right and those are That's the reason I've stayed. I
stayed with him for.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
He stayed with him for his money.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Yeah, and I would again.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
We were actually talking about this earlier, like finance bros
in general, like is it ethical or not to be
with them?
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yeah, yeah, I did have friendship breakups because they were like,
it's unethical to be with someone who works in private
equity because private equity is ruining the world, which I.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Agree, Well, there are so many things ruining the world,
that's true. I don't know, I'm torn about it. I'm like,
I think if you are dating someone in finance, like
sometimes you just kind of have to like get your money,
get your bad girl, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Yeah, I don't know, which is how I felt like
the whole time. I was like, I'm just gonna like
ask for what i want, manipulate for what I want,
and let's see how far this goes. And it's not serious.
Until it was. Miami was the most romantic experience that
either of us had ever had. We spent the whole
week kissing on the beach, kissing in the night clubs,
kissing in the hot tub, kissing in the pool, and
(18:04):
falling in love over and over and over again. Every
night on Moonlit sheets in the most Prickturesque hotel on
the most gorgeous speech you've ever seen. Three days in
at lunch, he told me he loved me for the
first time, and with a lump in my throat, I
set it back. He finally asked, will you be my girlfriend?
(18:31):
And I replied, I already am.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
When y'all were going to Miami, did you love him?
Did you like him? What were like your honest feelings
about him? If you had to say?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
See so, what I say is when I would tell
my friends that I didn't love him, I felt like
I was lying. But when I told my friends that
I did love him, it also felt like I was
lying right to myself. Huh, I'm both ways. I was
trying to convince myself you don't love him, you do
love him. It was like so, when he said he
loves me for the first time in Miami and will
(19:08):
you be my girlfriend? I said, I love him back,
but like in the back of my head, like I
know he had just lied and slept with another girl
like less than a week before that.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Mm hmm. But I was even knew when he said
I love you, Yeah, but he didn't know that you knew,
yeah that it feels insane to me. Yeah, and you
didn't say like fuck you, I know you slept with
somebody or why not?
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Because I did believe that he loved me, and he
loved me like he was more into me than he
was into these other people. And I was right. Whatever
people are gonna say, I'm deluciable, but like I was right.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
When do you feel like the power dynamics sort of shifted?
Speaker 1 (19:43):
I mean when he was like sleeping with other girls
and lying, Like the lying was the betrayal, not because
I was giving him the out, Like even after he
cheated for the first time before Miami and told me
he wasn't seeing anyone else. Even after that, I was like, okay,
but if you want to see other people, that's fine
(20:04):
because I also want to see other people. Let's just
like be talking about it. Like what was rude was
the lying? Like and then like when we finally get
a confrontation, he's like, well, you told me I could
do it, So I think, like, if you told me
I couldn't do it, I wouldn't have wanted to, don't.
I don't like that was just that was a lie,
That was an excuse that was bullshit because I'm like, no,
(20:25):
I told you, if you want to see other people,
we could talk about it, right, But we weren't talking
about it. You weren't telling me. There was no discussion. Yeah,
it broke my heart. It broke my heart. I told
my therapist, I will break his heart at the end
of this, but he's gonna break my heart a million
times over before then, secretly I didn't want him seeing
other girls, and definitely not behind my back. The lying
(20:48):
was the worse betrayal than the cheating, although if I'm honest,
the worst pain was realizing that while I thought I
was pulling all the strings, his text revealed that he
was pulling some strings of his. I wanted to continue
using and manipulating him, but I didn't want him to
return the fucking favor. When we returned to New York,
(21:27):
I left the city for ten days, the longest period
of time we'd spent a part since we met. I
did not want to believe my friends who told me
that he'd be cheating while I was gone, but when
I heard his voice on the phone, I was deeply suspicious.
At this point, I was hopeful and delusional. Maybe that
(21:48):
since we had just returned from our whirlwind romantic getaway
that maybe, just maybe he would change for me. Supposedly
the love of his life Miami had completely shifted my
mentality on myself. Wanting the love story to be true,
I wasn't sure how this had happened, but it had.
(22:08):
At the same time, I knew that his actions showed
me who he really was, and that meant that I
could not have him in the way that I had
somehow ended up wanting it to be.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
So what made you finally want to confront him? Did
someone tell you too or what?
Speaker 1 (22:25):
No, it was I was going crazy. So he cheated
on me again. I'm fuming. I'm off the handle. I
told him I was mad at him, like in bed
with him the next morning after reading his text the
night before, because I had a dream that he had
cheated on me, And he asked me, like what happened
in the dream, And I was like so close to
(22:46):
being like just saying exactly what he'd done, but I didn't.
I called my cool, but I was like, I have
a feeling, I have an intuition, just like something is
off here. I would point out like inconsistencies, like he
had this picture pictures of me like on the like
credenza or whatever, and it was like flipped over.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Yah.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
And he only did that when like somebody came wait
literally and then.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Like it's always like it's always like a bedside table
that will get a man caught.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Yeah, Like I have a friend who caught her boyfriend's
situationship whatever because he had like like a romantic novel
on his bedside table and she was like, no, you
would never be reading.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
That and someone had left it there.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Yeah, another girl had left it there. Bedside table will
give it away. Yeah, so you're spinning lies because you know, yeah,
you're trying to get him to admit.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Well, I was like, I'm not gonna incriminate myself as
someone who's read his text. He has to admit it
without me admitting that I'd been reading his text.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
How did you get him to finally admit it?
Speaker 1 (23:48):
I mean he denied it flat out forever, and then
he would tell me half truths and then I was
just like I'm leaving, like you're not telling me the truth. Uh,
and I stormed out. He texted me, I'm ready to
tell the whole truth, and then he unseent that text.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
I was like, bitch, I saw that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
He said, I'm ready to admit the whole truth. You
saw it. He unsends it, so it says the text
unsent And then what did you say?
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Nothing? Nothing? He kept calling me and calling me, and
I called his best friend and I asked him if
he thought that he could be loyal about seeing other people.
So he was like, you know, he loves you, but like,
I don't know, I can't vouch for him, which is
like if your best friend is saying.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
That, like yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Then so I had screenshots that I had sent myself
of the text with the girls who he had cheated with.
You're evidence my evidence. Yeah, of course I had the
evidence because when he eventually let me go through his
phone when he was still in like part he was
telling partial truth, partial.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Life he had I was like, yes, supid, I know
you idiot.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Yeah, I have these screen shots, and you know the
contacts are not safe. So the number is right at
the top. I called those girls.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
You called the girls? Wait, I called know how many
girls did you call too? And what did you talk about?
Speaker 1 (25:06):
You do with two girls? One of them didn't pick
up and one of well one of them did. Were you?
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Like, hey girl?
Speaker 1 (25:13):
And I was like, were you at the Nines on
Saturday with a man named Kyle? She she was like yeah, why,
Like who is this? And I was like, oh, this
is his girlfriend who he's cheating on.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
What did she say?
Speaker 1 (25:25):
She was like so apologetic, She was like, oh my god,
I was just using him for drinks. I was just
using sure dinner.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Like to me, it's always the man's fault. No, I
was not has no allegiance to you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Of course, and like she didn't even know I existed.
But I was not mad at her obviously. I was
just like, if I like didn't have the text, I
would have believed him, which is so scary. Your a
man is lying to you, like men are men are lying,
Men are lying and they're so good at it, Like
get the evidence, do not believe him?
Speaker 2 (26:00):
So how do you? Finally so he get him to
admit it.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
When I walk back through his door, I said, I'm
just here to get my stuff. I'm leaving. He tested
me with you want me to help you bring down
your bags. I called his bluff with a simple yes,
and he caved and he said please baby, No, sit down, baby,
I'll tell you the whole truth. And then he did.
He finally did, and he when he was done for
(26:27):
counting his sins, I asked, how can I ever trust
you again? And he said, well, what if when we're apart,
you keep my cock in a cage. It's a real
thing and we're using it. Yes, it's like a chastity
belt for men.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
That is so crazy And I had never heard about
that until you told me the story. He tell me
how it works. A chastity belt for a man. Cage,
chastity cage for a man. How does it work?
Speaker 1 (27:01):
So there's a ring okay, yeah, okay, there's a ring
that goes around the balls.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Okay because basically like.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
It's all it's staying together because it's like like the
balls will not let it.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
The balls are in there too, the ball.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
The balls are through the ring. Okay.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Okay. Is he wearing an outside during the day. Yeah,
he's wearing it to work.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
There was like a week where I went out of
town and he wore it for a week to work.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Did you have a key?
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Yeah? How does he relieve himself? I mean, there's a
I think they have to sit down to pee, which
is also better for your public floor. Then you should
be just sitting down to pee.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Okay. So there's a there's a ring around the balls.
The balls are out, there's a there's a ring that.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Goes like the balls go through the bottom of the
ring and the cock goes through the top of the ring.
But both are in the ring. And then the top
of the ring, which is above the cock. Yeah, that's
where the lock. And so then the cage goes on
the cock and connects at the top of the ring.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Yeah, so you'd unlock it like that.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Yeah, lock and unlocked from like right totally.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
That's like typically, and you take the key out of town.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
So it comes with two keys.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Scary, it comes with two keys.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
I hid one of the keys in his apartment.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Okay, that's kind of fun.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
I didn't tell where it was, okay, because I was like,
if there's an emergency or something, and and he never
asked for it, I can't tell.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
That's nice.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
The story doesn't end there because that night I went
to dinner with my best friends and when I returned home,
I found him on my laptop reading all of my texts,
just like you've been doing to me. For months. He said,
he had read all of the horrible things I'd said
(28:59):
about him being short and ugly and undtable and a
loser with no taste, an out of his complex and
a receding hairline. He'd read all of my insane, psychotic,
diabolical plans to ruin his life, he said, I read
it all. I said, it'll just leave, and he said leave.
(29:26):
You can't leave now, not after all this, I feel
like I finally know how your brain works. I love you.
He had seen the inner workings of my mind in
my text with my best friends. He now knew how
fucking sick in the head I am, and he loved
(29:48):
me more. He he loved me more, not in spite
of my psychoses, but because of them.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
You told this story a year ago, almost exactly. Yeah,
so retelling it now and looking at it now a
year out, where are y'all? It worked for a little while.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
I believe he's been faithful to me since then, which
even when he's not in a cage, he has had
opportunities to not be faithful, So that could be true.
And I have, like, I mean, I think like when
there's an infidelity, you can't move fast. It really like,
I don't know if I'll ever trust him when he
has the opportunity to cheat. I'm like, right, I always said,
(30:30):
like from the beginning, and it got messy in the
middle and everything, where like I had real feelings for him.
Mm mm call it love if you want, I.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Still have feelings. You still have feelings for him? Now? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Yeah, it's complicated. It can't work out right now. I mean.
The other thing is that he bought an engagement ring,
the ring that I asked him to buy.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
Yeah, do you have it?
Speaker 1 (30:54):
No? Because he he knows that I, you know, wanted
the ring, well, I mean to be engaged whatever, Like
I think that would have been fun. And I think
he just held it over my head for so long
and I was like, I can't keep being with someone
just like to wait for this because he knows it's
like the ring that I wanted.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
So you abandoned the heartbreak project? Or do you still feel.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Like that's I'm like, I haven't really told like my
friends that I'm like not seeing him, oh, like that
I'm not talking to him because every time I've done that,
I've gone back to him. And that's so embarrassing. I'd
say like I'm the closest now that I've ever been
to like being rid of him. I don't know what
(31:39):
the future holds, but I learned a lot about myself
and what I want in a relationship and like what
I like kind of need in a relationship.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
I do know that, like because you've told me, like
walking away from this relationship now, it has not been
easy on you.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Yeah, it's been tough. I mean I had a lot
of friendship breakups, and I like I just didn't I
went into this relationship being like this is fun and
games and silly, and I thought my friends would be like, Haha,
we'll make fun of him together. This is funny, and
they were like, this is kind of like sick, Like
you're kind of like messed up for this and I
can't be around you anymore. And I was like, oh,
(32:16):
like that way, And then I wasn't able to be
like you're right, I'll and I'll leave him for you basically,
and that sucked because I I want to say, I
never truly saw this being like a long term thing.
I saw this as like an experimental period, which is
like what it what it truly is to its score,
(32:37):
But like I didn't think because of that. I didn't
think that my friends would have like that we would
part ways because of it.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Oh god, it's so tough.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
And but okay, it is tough in an era where
we're like leave men, and like, I believe this, like
you know, boy sober, prioritize yourself, like prioritize your career,
your end, prioritize your friendships. And then I'm like, I
know that I did not handle this well. I know
that I fucked this up in some way or another.
(33:08):
I am like, I think I would do it pretty similarly,
Like I think I did need this for my process
for myself, but I wish that I had handled the
friendship part differently. I missed the friends that I lost.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Of course. The thing about friendship though is I do
think things can come back around, like with time, friends
do come back around in surprising ways. So you never
and you're not talking to him right now?
Speaker 1 (33:35):
Yeah, so I've been And how long.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Has it been since y'all haven't talked?
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Like exactly a week, dude, which is long, which is
long for me.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
That's so funny.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
No, this is why I'm not telling people though, because
I'm like, I mean people are.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Obsessed with each other. Sure you know.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Yeah, I hate to admit that I am, but like
I mean, and yeah, And.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
The thing is, I don't I think the listeners know this.
But he was at the storytelling show when you told
the story. He was in the crowd. Can I say
this with another girl?
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Yeah, he did bring a date.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
He brought a date to the show, a date.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
That he met on a dating app and like had
gone on dates with before, like years prior to this.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
And a part of y'all's relationship dynamic is like him
being humiliated in front of other girls.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
I think that it's more like in front of other men.
But like I think a part, a big part of
like a typical aspect of like a cuck kink interest
fetish is like being humiliated in front of like your
girlfriend's friends.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
So No, I remember him standing like so casually in
the back after you had just told the story, and
I was just like, wow, this man is insane.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
Yeah no, yeah, and yeah, and he is. I mean,
like I also was like amazed by him sometimes, like
the way that like I don't know, and I'm just
like I never met someone who was able to like
go over mental hurdles, just like using his kink, like
he was just able to make it like incorporate it
(35:09):
part of the kink dynamic between us, and like it
would be fine even like the like psycho things that
I would do. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
So you're seven days out from seven days over, you
know what? Yeah, with your reconship to the word voiceover, like.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
I think, like post like tumultuous dramatic relationship, I will
be voiceover for like a period of time, maybe like
six months.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
The thing one lesson that I have learned is to
never give myself a timeline, right because I if I
put a timeline on the table, it's like I'm just waiting.
It's just that's like a it's a day by day
that's like loose.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
Based on like post five year relationship, I was like,
I need to learn how to like be alone with.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Myself, right, which, like I hate.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Being alone up here, So it's good to get comfortable
with that.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
What one thing you've had to unlearn about heartbreak?
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Like going into this heartbreak project, I thought I was
just gonna be able to like detach from it and
just like have him be emotionally invested without getting emotionally
invested in myself and oh, such a lie I told
myself or something I unlearned was like I broke my
own heart a million times.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
Well, hey, congratulations on seven days.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Thank you. He did. Okay, I was gonna say he
did send me money. He did send me one hundred
dollars like three days ago, but I didn't respond. And
he is calling. I have blocked him, blocked. He is
calling me like no caller ID star sixty seven. Yeah,
he's calling and I'm not picking up, which is big
because yeah, I love to pick up.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
Let that man go for a minute.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
I'm also like one hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Hell, no, one hundred. I'm gonna get you right now.
Trump's America.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
I'm like, I need ten times one hundred times. Ten
times is one thousand dollar dollars. One hundred times is
ten thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
One hundred thousand dollars, and you'll pick.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Up, yeah, one hundred thousand dollars and pick up all right, there.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
You go now, you know, Okay, Story, thank you so
much for coming on and thanks for having me so
so fun great news listeners. It has now been a
month since Story and I talked and I have an
update that she has not talked to her finance bros. Since.
I hope y'all were entertained by this story and maybe
(37:26):
got some ideas on how to spice up a sticky
situation of your own. Re Listening to this is making
me think I need to get that live show back
up and running, so stay tuned for updates on that.
Until then, Thank you so much for listening, and I'll
talk to y'all next week. Boysover is a production of
(37:55):
iHeart Podcasts. I'm your host Hopewardard. Our executive produce are
Christina Everett and Julie Pinero. Our supervising producer is Emily Meronoff.
Our assistant producer is Logan Palau. Engineering by Bahid Fraser
and mixing and mastering by Abu Zafar. If you liked
(38:16):
this episode, please tell a friend and don't forget to rate, review,
and subscribe to boy Sober on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
and wherever you get your favorite shows.
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