Battle of the Tinder Dates (6/11/25)

Tinder is fun, but the dates don’t always work out, and can sometimes be really… really bad. Two of our listeners battle HEAD-to-HEAD to see who has the most tragic dating life in our segment, Battle of the Tinder Dates!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Two hopeless daters one dating app, then dares you swipe right.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
The question is whose love life is more tragic.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
It's Battle of the Tinder Dates.

Speaker 4 (00:14):
It's the dating game show that got a little too
passionate during CPR class when you threw on some Marvin
Gay and Eagle straddle that dummy.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
It's compressions only now, Jack.

Speaker 4 (00:27):
It's the Battle of the Tinder Dates, where two of
our listeners go head to head to find out whose
dating life is the most tragic. We'll explain the rules
in just a second, but first let's meet today's contestants.
In this corner, she likes sending naughty picks, but only
using the super pixelated camera on her two thousand and
one Razor flip phone, and that's why the boys call

(00:49):
her Motorola.

Speaker 3 (00:50):
Lola doesn't look.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Good in those pixelated picks.

Speaker 3 (00:56):
Yeah, you have some big squares there.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
And in the other.

Speaker 4 (01:00):
Corner, she set up a kissing booth outside the UN
headquarters to end global conflicts a sexier way.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
Wait a minute, World.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
Peace Denise.

Speaker 4 (01:13):
Representative from Libya really got into it.

Speaker 3 (01:17):
But here's how the game works.

Speaker 4 (01:18):
One contestant will start by telling one of their worst
date stories, the other one trying to counter with a
nightmare story of their own. We're gonna go back and
forth for three rounds until we declare a winner, starting
it off with Motorola, Lola, let's go.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
Okay, So this guy and I went on a walk
in the park, but there were pigeons everywhere. I mean,
like a gross amount of pigeon.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
Ull oh very park.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
Like, yeah, it happens. But the funny thing is this
guy gets really excited when he sees the pigeons and
he pulls a letter out of his bag, a letter. Yeah,
I'm like, huh, okay, quirky, intrigued, and then he tries
to give it to a pigeon, telling me he's trying
to train them to deliver mail.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
Carrier pigeon.

Speaker 4 (02:05):
It's probably a little bit cheaper than using the postal
service is delivering mail?

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Who needs forever stamps when you have forever pigeon. Okay,
you just asked the best question, which is who is
he delivering mail to? He was trying to contact his
ex had blocked him, so she's going to.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
Read that a pigeon in the bark dropped. Yeah, it's
probably to tell his x ham with a much hotter girl.

Speaker 4 (02:27):
Now that means world piece, Denise, we're over to you.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
So you're in the middle of dinner at a quiet restaurant, okay,
and the guy's like, hey, sorry, I have to take
an important phone call, and he takes it in front
of me.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
Interesting, you'd usually excuse yourself. Yeah, yeah, No.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
So it turns out it's a virtual court appearance for himself.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
No.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
I couldn't tell exactly what for why we were in
a virtual court, but here we were in this he's
help the judge. He actually has a character witness right
next to him. We see to point the camera at me.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
Oh what did you say?

Speaker 1 (03:08):
I got up and left?

Speaker 2 (03:09):
Whoam then yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
To Lola, back to you.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
Okay, this was actually a really good date with this tall,
dark and handsome guy. Okay, yeah. Yeah. We ended up
going back to his house and we're in the middle
of making out and then he like pulls back and
looks deep into my eyes and he tells me how
much I remind him of his fourth wife.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
Did you ask if it was married past tense because
it felt very present last your eight You know what?

Speaker 2 (03:47):
I did not even ask after that, I just knew
I did not want to be whatever.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
The next number was going to be Denise Counter.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
So I had this guy who offered to pick me
up for our day, which horay right, But when he
shows up, I opened the passenger car door and there's
already a girl in the front seat. He tells me, no, no,
it's okay, just hop in the back. So I get
in the back, and then he proceeds to introduce it,
saying that he klimbed our dates too close together, so

(04:19):
he is going to drop her off first and then
we can start her day.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
Oh that's a gentleman. Moved to at least drop the
other date off.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
He wasn't late to get you.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (04:30):
Wait was she? Chill? No?

Speaker 1 (04:32):
It was very awkward and si oh wow, Okay, her
name is Stacey.

Speaker 4 (04:39):
You guys are now friends apparently, So okay, I heard
bell there. That means we're on to the third round.
We need your best stories here, ladies. So Motorola, Lola,
what do you got?

Speaker 2 (04:48):
Okay? I was on this date with this guy. We're
driving to the restaurant and he just says real quick,
like I get to stop off somewhere. Is that cool?
I'm like, yeah, totally. We enter a building and end
up in a waiting room of a dentist's office.

Speaker 3 (05:05):
Oh no, this is sexy. Keep going.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
So I finally turned to him and I'm like, do
you's an appointment or you like picking something? Use, Like,
what's what's going on? And he tells me that he
just enjoys the smell of fluoride so much so that
it turns him on. Yeah, he was trying to set
the mood for us, dude, and the dentist's office does

(05:29):
have a real distinct smell.

Speaker 3 (05:31):
Yeah, it's like a medicine. Yeah, Denise, this is your
last chance.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
So I went to dinner with this guy. He was
super cute and everything was going really well okay, and says,
you know, every couple argues at some point, I wonder
if we're good at that. I'm like, oh no, I
don't know, considering it's the first day. And he's like,
why don't we try it after dessert?

Speaker 2 (05:59):
And I laugh it off.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
Okay, yeah, sure, Yeah, I really thought he was joking.

Speaker 3 (06:04):
Yeah, let's play an art.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
We finished, he gets the check, we get up, and
he gets mad over nothing.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
He gives up and he leaves text me when I
think he got far enough away to be like, now
time for makeup hookup.

Speaker 3 (06:21):
Actually, this is kind of smart. He's like role playing
but not you his own thing. All right, there it is.

Speaker 4 (06:28):
We got the final bell there that means the match
is over.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
We need to score it, Alexis.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
I get Lola for.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
The guy trying to contact his ex via pigeon.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
Oh man, I gotta go Denise with court date phone
call and the.

Speaker 3 (06:45):
Three yearls were all tied up. You get the final call.
I gotta go with Lola.

Speaker 4 (06:50):
Congratulations the Ductress of Solitude, And as a prize, Brook
will tell you her favorite sexy emoji that she uses
to flirt with.

Speaker 3 (07:02):
I like, how about winkie face a wow originally classic
text in the seven, eight, five nine too.

Speaker 4 (07:12):
If you want to appear on the next edition of
Battle at the Tinder dates your phone

Speaker 2 (07:15):
Tawn is next Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.