FULL SHOW: Don’t Drop Grandma José! Brooke Finds True Love + Pocket Surprise Date (6/11/25)

FULL SHOW: Wednesday, June 11th, 2025

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
We've got a full, brand new hour for you. It's
Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning, and.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
This is your podcast. We're so glad you're here. I
gotta say, Jose you told.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
One of the funniest and sweetest stories that I've heard
from you all year.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
I will never let you down. Grandma's okay, and.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yeah, you'll hear it, and what's on your mind? Plus
a brand new second date update laser stories. But we
always love to highlight some of our favorite comments.

Speaker 4 (00:28):
Made me laugh, Hobby said, catching up on episodes, and
I've now decided that my family will play your podcast
at my funeral.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
And please your plugin on my headstone.

Speaker 5 (00:39):
My laugh just echoing the hallways of a funeral home.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
I love it too.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
We really are so play this part too so that
they can hear why why we're being played at your funeral?

Speaker 6 (00:52):
In it?

Speaker 5 (00:53):
Sorry, I forgot to wear black.

Speaker 7 (00:55):
Yo.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Hey, it's your brand new podcast and it starts right now.

Speaker 6 (00:59):
We have many international listeners. It's broken Jeffrey in the Morning.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
It's so cool people all over the world have found
our podcasts.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
I love it.

Speaker 6 (01:07):
Yeah. How many people write to us on Spotify or
on Apple saying like, hey, I listened to your podcast
over in Zimbabwe, and we want to say thank you
to all of our fans abroad. But also if you
want to come visit us here in America, because I
know so many foreigners right now want to.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
Travel such a destination.

Speaker 6 (01:28):
But if you do want to, there's a new rule
under the new Enhanced Vetting Executive Order where border agents
can legally search through your phone and they don't need
a warrant to do. That's why Homeland Security is politely
suggesting if you're traveling to the US, delete your nudes.

Speaker 8 (01:48):
I was just thinking that.

Speaker 5 (01:50):
I'm like, wait a minute.

Speaker 6 (01:52):
Seriously, because there's a good chance a border agent will
find some nsfws and text it to themselves.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
It's a good chance they want to find it.

Speaker 5 (02:00):
Yeah, that's it. What's your secur no off older code.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
Way another Brazilian woman coming into the States, I must
look through her phone.

Speaker 6 (02:09):
Yeah, it is tempting, especially with all those hot summer
bodies coming into the country. I don't know if this
is you d show, so if you do so, gross,
That's where we are as a country now. So if
you have sensitive content on your phone, you might want
to delete it or maybe visit another less invasive country.

(02:30):
Or you can do what I do and fill my
entire burner phone with nothing butt newts, just to watch
the border agent's face when he sees what I'm bringing
into the country.

Speaker 5 (02:40):
Just like first before I hit play, I'm not zoomed in.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Yes, shocking. No other countries want to see the US's newts.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
Yeah, yeah, basket for ours, we'll focus on their body.

Speaker 6 (02:50):
Oh, I know is the border agent's going to be
asking me. You're gonna have to check that and carry on.
It's too big, sir, correct officer. And I know exactly
where to smuggle the shock collar when we do the
shock collar, but the day because anyone ja, yeah, but
I will need our digital producer to help his gentle

(03:11):
touch in order to get it where to be smuggled.
So Jake, let's do question first, smuggle pack me later. Okay, yeah,
I'll meet you there sweet on this day.

Speaker 8 (03:22):
Back in nineteen ninety three, dinosaurs escaped, lawyers, got eaten
off toilets, and Jeff Goldbloom somehow became a sex symbol.
You yes, yeah, because the movie Jurassic Park was released
in theaters and taught us just because you can make
a ridiculously insane amusement park. It doesn't mean you should,

(03:43):
but that hasn't stopped entrepreneurs from building bizarre attractions all
over the world that are totally unsafe or just flat
out weird. Ye, which is why today, in honor, Jurassic
Park will be doing a special theme park or dream
park edition of.

Speaker 6 (03:58):
Oh Dearn twenty.

Speaker 8 (04:00):
It is so you say number one through twenty, I'll
tell you about a highly questionable amusement park idea. You
just have to tell me if it's a real theme
park or a dream park I created in my sweaty nightmares.
We'll start with the woman who, if she was a dinosaur,
would be called tri cropotops.

Speaker 5 (04:21):
She has three of them.

Speaker 6 (04:24):
Number ten.

Speaker 8 (04:25):
In Japan, there's a theme park called Nasu Highland Park,
which includes a roller coaster that takes you directly through
a haunted bathroom. Is this a real theme park or
a dream park that we made not wame?

Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yeah, I don't know it haunted, I don't know. A
haunted bathroom is pretty big and Harry Potter, Oh.

Speaker 5 (04:44):
The toilet flushes on its own.

Speaker 6 (04:46):
Disneyland has the whole haunted mansion too, and there is
no haunted bathroom in the Disneyland one. So there's glad
they found their niece.

Speaker 8 (04:54):
We have a haunted bathroom here at work, and only
Jose uses it.

Speaker 2 (05:01):
I don't know. I mean, I feel like it's kind
of lame, and I can see.

Speaker 4 (05:04):
It just going through like a collapse, like a haunted
creepy house, maybe like the whole roller coaster.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
Okay, and then there happened to be a bathroom flame.

Speaker 6 (05:13):
In Japan they have smart toilets, so I could see
how the smart toilets would get like infected by ghosts
and then start saying some really weird stuff, very vulnerable.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
All right, let's go theme park, Alex.

Speaker 8 (05:23):
Says, theme park, Yeah, that's real. The bathroom is part
of a horror theme section, and yes it has sound
effects in every stall.

Speaker 6 (05:33):
Scary Brook.

Speaker 2 (05:34):
Number ten is off the board, give me fourteen?

Speaker 8 (05:37):
Will you say? Please?

Speaker 2 (05:38):
Please, thank you?

Speaker 9 (05:39):
Brook.

Speaker 8 (05:40):
Breadland is a Yeast themed amusement park in Southern Germany
where Jeffrey do not laugh at East in Southern Germany,
where the rides are shaped like baguettes and pretzels. Maybe
the best part is that the mascot is a talking
bread roll named air Gluten. A real theme park or
a dream park.

Speaker 5 (05:58):
We made up a smell amazing.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
It would be the dream park of my dreams.

Speaker 1 (06:04):
But I just don't know that air Gluten is going
to be the guy who's representing Germany. There's not enough
sausages at this park to be German, so.

Speaker 5 (06:14):
I would.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
Unfortunately, I'm gonna say dream park.

Speaker 8 (06:21):
Brook says, it's a fake park, that's a dream park.
It's totally made up, but it does smell like a
good idea. Jose, ten and fourteen have been taken. Any
number from.

Speaker 5 (06:31):
You, Let's go seven, Jose.

Speaker 8 (06:34):
In Lithuania, there's a former Soviet prison turned interactive attraction
called Stalin World What where guests are yelled at by actors,
wear prison uniforms and experienced life under totalitarian rule. A
real park or a dream park?

Speaker 6 (06:49):
Your kids want to go and do this one hundred percent.

Speaker 2 (06:51):
I bet they check your phones before you enter.

Speaker 6 (06:55):
Oh you get you get a whole body cavity search
before you step through the security.

Speaker 3 (06:59):
They took my phone away and my keys and my everything. Yeah,
I'm gonna say nightmare of a dream part.

Speaker 8 (07:09):
Doesn't believe it, He says, dream park. No, Jose, it's
a real theme park. It's called Grutas Park. It is
very weird and it is even more real than it
is weird.

Speaker 6 (07:22):
But Lithuanians have a different sense of fun than we
do over here.

Speaker 5 (07:26):
That's funny over there.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
Yeah, maybe it's to remind them that they don't want
to go there. I don't know.

Speaker 5 (07:30):
Do you buy the fastal.

Speaker 8 (07:34):
Commuter sentence yeah, show trip yes?

Speaker 6 (07:36):
Yeah, Remote broadcast park ye.

Speaker 5 (07:40):
For Breadland over this okay?

Speaker 8 (07:43):
Jeffrey and fourteen have been chosen two Jeffrey. In South Korea,
South there's a theme park called Poo Poo Land where
you journey through a giant digestive system and end up
in a bathroom theme gift shop bathrooms today.

Speaker 6 (07:57):
Wow?

Speaker 8 (07:58):
Is this a real theme park or a dream park
that we made up?

Speaker 6 (08:01):
All the countries in Asia they have an obsession with
the bathroom.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
Yeah, the toilet restaurants and stuff, dude.

Speaker 5 (08:06):
And they have bidays too.

Speaker 9 (08:07):
Man.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
My kids would love to travel through the digestive anything
that ends up in a gift shop.

Speaker 3 (08:14):
They love imagine their Madame rites like Splash Mountain where.

Speaker 5 (08:18):
You get to the end to explas.

Speaker 6 (08:19):
Or just imagine all of their food. It's like themed
like poop. I guess yeah, that'd be kind of fun
to eat.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
Let's just go with a lot of chocolate ice cream.

Speaker 6 (08:29):
Yeah, I want to say Bean Park on.

Speaker 8 (08:31):
This Jeffrey Shows theme park. He thinks poopoo Land is real. Yeah,
poop Land is very real, very weird. It's an attraction you
could find in Seoul, South Korea.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
There's so many places live broadcast from.

Speaker 8 (08:47):
That's right, poopoo Land. Please dm us and Jose, I'm
sorry you are the only loser of today.

Speaker 5 (08:54):
Let's see twenty.

Speaker 6 (08:56):
That means, Jose, it's going to be getting shocked. And
somebody wanted to hear the song Party in the US
say by Miley cyrus So.

Speaker 5 (09:02):
So I put my hands up.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
They're playing my song The Butterflies Flyway not in my head,
like yeah, and a movie in my heads.

Speaker 6 (09:11):
Like yeah, that is your shock collar question of the day.
We got your phone taps coming up in just.

Speaker 9 (09:16):
A few minutes, frooking Jeffrey in the morning.

Speaker 6 (09:20):
Doesn't it seem like all of the most powerful billion
dollar companies of today always start with just a bunch
of random friends messing around in some dingy craphole place together. Yeah,
like Microsoft started in a New Mexico garage. Facebook was
built in a freshman dorm.

Speaker 5 (09:41):
It's crazy.

Speaker 6 (09:42):
An uber was probably created in a four hundred degree
honeybucket behind burning man.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah, that checks out, Jeff, I read about that story.

Speaker 5 (09:52):
We need to write home like.

Speaker 6 (09:55):
This great whole network. The point is, genius ideas can
happen in anywhere, and what better place than inside of
an old radio studio with a faulty Russian made air
conditioning unit from the nineteen eighties where all the volume
controls to our headphones are totally broken? Ye are? It

(10:18):
is the perfect place to spark a genius idea during
a brand new What's on Your Mind that's coming up
right now. It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning. And
if you look at the news right now, you might
be worried that the world's becoming too stable, too harmonious,
too happy. That's how everybody feels, right Jeff, Well, don't
pay it because things are still dramatic and tumultuous as

(10:40):
ever in all of our personal lives. So let's bring
back the chaos with another edition of What's on Your Mind?
Starting with Brooke Brook What's on your Mind?

Speaker 1 (10:51):
You know this is gonna sound kind of deep, But
I think I finally understand what true love is.

Speaker 6 (10:56):
Oh, you've been married for years. Listen, what are you
talking about.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
When I was younger, I thought true love was like
big romantic gestures and exotic vacations together and gazing into
one each other's eyes and being so attracted to the
person that you're with.

Speaker 6 (11:14):
Now you're not in any of that stuff.

Speaker 1 (11:16):
That stuff's cool, right, But that's not where the real
stuff happens.

Speaker 6 (11:20):
Okay, where does the real stuff happen?

Speaker 2 (11:21):
True love happens at two in the morning.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
We have multiple puking children, and you're covered in vomit,
and you're having to do laundry, and you have a
partner who is right there with you making it all happen.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
I say, it's unbelievable. It is absolutely disgusting. Yeah, smells terrible.
True love does not smell good.

Speaker 1 (11:43):
But we kind of partner who will share all of
that with you and take all that work on That
is amazing.

Speaker 6 (11:50):
I guess E Harmony has to change their slogan to
what at two in the morning, where all your children
are arming and bounty and when.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
You just hear the sound of the I from the
other room.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
You're going to go into the battle zone alone.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
That that right there is knowing that you have somebody.
I'm glad you found it. Yeah, I hope you will
find it.

Speaker 6 (12:20):
Jose, what's on your mind?

Speaker 3 (12:22):
Well, recently I had the honor of being a pallbear
at my grandma's funeral, and I was a pallbearer for
my grandpa as well. So I have done this before,
and the last time we did it, my dad was
right in front of me, so I assumed, hey, we're
gonna do the same thing. Well, right before the funeral,
my dad tells all the groomsman, hey, guys, I threw
my shoulder out and so I need to use my left.

(12:44):
So I follow him to his side so he can
use his left. Now I'm using my left, but I'm
still behind my dad. So I'm like, things are gonna
be fine.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
Right.

Speaker 5 (12:52):
So it comes of pulling up the casket.

Speaker 3 (12:54):
I can barely hold it, right, I am like struggling immediately,
and I almost drop it.

Speaker 5 (13:00):
Because my left grandma because on my left arm.

Speaker 10 (13:04):
So what they do is they see the casket struggling
and they tap my dad out, thinking.

Speaker 6 (13:10):
Oh it's the old old guys.

Speaker 9 (13:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:15):
So they sup in my little fifteen year old nephew,
my thirteen year old nephew.

Speaker 5 (13:20):
Sorry, helpful, You're right, Brook, not helpful.

Speaker 3 (13:23):
I am doing all the work and my my hand
hurts so bad it's like white knuckles. After we get
it on, my uncle looks back because we're still in
a procession, and he's like, walk in, Jose, Yes, come on.

Speaker 5 (13:35):
Man, you know so I'm humiliated. People know something's going on. Right,
the casket was not even right.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
But after the ceremony, we have to move her back
into the hurts right, so I request. I'm like, put
me on the right side, let me use my right
hand a strong arm. I did, And then I'm like, dude,
I'm gonna flex, I'm gonna hot dog, and I'm gonna
like lift this up. Then I'm gonna really show out.

Speaker 6 (13:59):
A shoulder, do a full like clean yeah, squat.

Speaker 10 (14:05):
Should have the scene at the funeral, but the rumor
at the end of the funerals like Jose almost dropped Grandma.
I'm like, no, I did not almost drunk Grandma, gotcha,
And I love Grandma and I never did.

Speaker 5 (14:17):
I did not drop her.

Speaker 6 (14:18):
You did, You didn't know?

Speaker 3 (14:19):
Just for the history of Anyony Paul Baron out there,
you gotta do some curls or something.

Speaker 6 (14:23):
Sometimes, you know, weird fitness trends start in like accidental ways.
So next week, join Jose at the gym for coffin
squats with Grant.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
I gave rip all the muscles in my shoulder. I
have so much pain right now.

Speaker 6 (14:35):
You're gonna get so many good gains though, So Alexis,
tell us what's been on your mind.

Speaker 4 (14:41):
Speaking of fitness trends, I found a hack to motivate
myself to work out after like a night out right
the next.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
Morning, I'm not sure. I work out in the morning, Yes, girl,
I know.

Speaker 4 (14:53):
And I started this because first, like when you choose
we we're gonna get drinks like a friends.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
I make sure it's within like six miles in my house.

Speaker 6 (15:00):
And I know it's a pretty big gad.

Speaker 2 (15:02):
No, I don't uber. I drive and I park at.

Speaker 4 (15:04):
It, okay, a drinks, I go out and then my
car is left there. And in the morning, so I
get home somehow one way.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
Or another, you know, which that's a responsible part of
what you're doing. I do get home, and then the
next morning I have to get my car.

Speaker 5 (15:22):
Naturally, and it's like close enough.

Speaker 9 (15:25):
It's.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
Expensive to uber exactly how many what's on your minds
we're going to do before it's Alexis got her car too,
because you didn't wake up.

Speaker 4 (15:34):
I checked the side and then the next morning I
had my five and a half mile run to my car.
Hungover I was, and that's why I was smart enough
to leave a water bottle inside my car when I
went out to dinner, so then when I get to
my car, I have water.

Speaker 1 (15:52):
It's like old Alexis is taking such good care of
future Alexis.

Speaker 6 (15:56):
Every time Alexis does something dumb or cheap, instead of
saying I made a mistake, she says, I figured out.

Speaker 8 (16:02):
A new life.

Speaker 2 (16:04):
And if you see me hungover running by your.

Speaker 6 (16:06):
Business, all right, Jeff, Guys, I have the nicest neighbor.
And when I tell you the story, you're all going
to be jealous because you don't have neighbors like this.
But his name is Tony, and he's a little bit
older than me. He's like married with kids, and I

(16:27):
think he must feel bad for me because I'm a
new homeowner and I'm a total novice of taking care
of stuff outside of the house. I out in the yard.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
Yeah, he heard about your mailbox fiasco.

Speaker 6 (16:38):
Yeah, and I just I don't have a lot of
the big landscaping tools and equipment stuff that everybody else
has bought, all the power tools, right, So he lets
me borrow his, and he always gives me a tutorial
on how to use. Like yesterday, he was showing me
how to weed whack this area. So he lets me
hold it and I'm whacking while he stays behind me.

(17:00):
Wait a minute, and he's just guiding me, showing me
how to grip it and how to like throttle it up,
and he like whispers over my shoulder instructions like okay,
lower more.

Speaker 5 (17:11):
Sure that's how you're supposed to, like teach a girl
to play pool.

Speaker 6 (17:13):
You feel that, Yeah, I feel that that's how it's done. Okay,
This is actually actually really reassuring. And it's not just
with the weed whackers either. He's he's doing it with
like my hedge trimmers. Even did it with the rake.
You didn't rap, not properly. We did the rake lessons
even though there were there weren't any leaves for us
to rake. He still wanted to show me the proper technique.

(17:36):
Stroke stroke, pull, is too violent, you gentle strokes.

Speaker 2 (17:41):
Across the lawn if you're enjoying it for you.

Speaker 6 (17:44):
Yeah, he really is the greatest neighbor ever. He even
puts one of his air pods into my ear.

Speaker 2 (17:50):
I said, he wants you to be in rhythm with
you to send him.

Speaker 6 (17:52):
I knew you'd be jealous of We haven't got there yet,
but I'm excited to learn.

Speaker 5 (17:58):
I don't want to be there.

Speaker 6 (18:00):
That's what's on our minds. And you can text into
seventy eighty five nine two tell us what's been on yours.
It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning, and we're getting
text in at seventy five nine two with people telling
us what's been on their minds because we just shared
what's been on hours. This one says, I almost broke
my leg at work. Who listen to y'all help the
pain before I on the job site?

Speaker 2 (18:21):
Okay, the meds.

Speaker 6 (18:23):
That's the good news. Bad news is your text make
absolutely no sense.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
You don't drive heavy machinery, but a good job being
at work stillman, No, but I feel like workers comp
comes into the place.

Speaker 6 (18:36):
Hey, I just appreciate them listening. That's all the matters.
Another text came in currently driving to sneak into my
college to place my homework on my professor's desk before
he gets there in the morning. So he thinks that
I turned it in yesterday.

Speaker 8 (18:50):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
I always did the slip it under the door move
like what I was here yesterday and you didn't open
the doors.

Speaker 2 (18:56):
Got my first eye. You still have paper homework?

Speaker 5 (18:58):
I literally online to a kickback email.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
I think they're doing it now because of AI. They're
making kids right stuff. They make you right. Yes, it's horrible.

Speaker 5 (19:09):
Pretty soon you won't be to use calculator.

Speaker 6 (19:10):
Yeah, so shameful. Whatever happened to the good old days
where students would seduce their professors to get high scores?
I mean you and brook O, I know, bring that back.
One more text says I'm on level seventeen thousand, six
hundred and thirty one on Candy Crush. It doesn't cost
anything to play and I've never paid a dime. Smiley face.

Speaker 5 (19:31):
It must take years to get there though.

Speaker 1 (19:34):
That's twenty years into Candy Crush. Telling you is that
the creator?

Speaker 6 (19:38):
I don't know. They send it with a big smiley face.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
Keep crushing.

Speaker 9 (19:42):
That's awesome, brook and Jeffrey. In the morning.

Speaker 6 (19:47):
Brooke is always complaining to us that her husband Michael
never plans date nights anymore, and how he's not great
at being romantic. No, it's how he spends more intimate
time with his precious lawnmower than with his actual wife.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
He does love that thing. No mouth open, naturally.

Speaker 6 (20:08):
Brook starts to wonder, wouldn't it be fun to be
single just for a day and enjoy the excitement of
the dating world one more time?

Speaker 1 (20:17):
Actually, would rather be with lawnmore makeout guy?

Speaker 6 (20:21):
I don't wonder that, See Brook. This is why we
do this next second, because Brook needs a reminder. She
needs to hear the real stories about how nightmarish the
dating world is when you're not married.

Speaker 2 (20:35):
Yeah, jeff my dating life was so tragic. It's very
vividly planted.

Speaker 6 (20:41):
Partners close and let them diddle their heads trimmer for
a little bit. Now you both listen to a new
batch of hilarious dating fails in a brand new Battle
of the Tinder Dates that's coming up right after this
hopeless one.

Speaker 9 (21:00):
The question is whose love life is more tragic. It's
Battle of the Tinder Dates.

Speaker 6 (21:09):
It's the dating game show that got a little too
passionate during CPR class when you threw on some Marvin
Gay and eagle straddle that dummy.

Speaker 2 (21:18):
It's compressions only.

Speaker 6 (21:21):
Now, Jack, it's the Battle of the Tinder Dates, where
two of our listeners go head to head to find
out whose dating life is the most tragic. We'll explain
the rules in just a second, but first let's meet
today's contestants. In this corner, she likes sending naughty picks,
but only using the super pixelated camera on her two
thousand and one Razor flip phone, and that's why the

(21:43):
boys call her Motorola Lola who doesn't.

Speaker 2 (21:48):
Look good in those pixelated picks.

Speaker 5 (21:51):
Yeah, you got some big squares there, Yeah.

Speaker 6 (21:54):
And in the other corner, she set up a kissing
booth outside the UN headquarters to end global conflicts a
sexier way. Wait a minute, World Peace Denise representative from
Libya really got into it. But here's how the game works.
One contestant will start by telling one of their worst

(22:15):
date stories. The other one try and counter with a
nightmare story of their own. We're gonna go back and
forth for three rounds until we declare a winner. Starting
it off with Motorola, Lola, let's go.

Speaker 11 (22:26):
Okay, So this guy and I went on a walk
in the park, but there were pigeons everywhere. I mean,
like a gross amount.

Speaker 12 (22:34):
Of pigeon ull oh very park.

Speaker 11 (22:36):
Like, yeah, it happens. But the funny thing is this
guy gets really excited when he sees the pigeons and
he pulls a letter out of his bag, a letter. Yeah,
I'm like, huh, okay, quirky, intrigued, and then he tries
to give it to a pigeon, telling me he's trying
to train them to deliver mail.

Speaker 5 (22:59):
Carrier.

Speaker 6 (23:00):
It's probably a little bit cheaper than using the postal service.

Speaker 5 (23:03):
Who is delivering mail?

Speaker 2 (23:04):
Who needs forever stamps when you have forever pigeon?

Speaker 11 (23:07):
Okay, you just asked the best question, which is who
is he delivering mail to? He was trying to contact
his ex that blocked him.

Speaker 5 (23:17):
So she's going to read to know that a pigeon
in the bark dropped.

Speaker 6 (23:19):
Yeah, it's probably to tell his x ham with a
much hotter girl. Now that means world piece, Denise, We're
over to you.

Speaker 13 (23:27):
So you're in the middle of dinner at a quiet restaurant, okay,
and the guy's like, hey, sorry, I have to take
an important phone call, and he takes it in front
of me.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
Interesting, you would usually excuse yourself.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
Yeah, yeah, No.

Speaker 13 (23:42):
So it turns out it's a virtual court appearance for himself.

Speaker 5 (23:46):
No.

Speaker 12 (23:47):
I couldn't tell exactly what for why we were in
a virtual court, but here we were in this He
held a judge that he actually has a character witness
right next to him to point the camera at me.

Speaker 6 (23:59):
Oh spot, what did you say?

Speaker 13 (24:03):
I got up and left.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
Whoa guested?

Speaker 9 (24:06):
Then yeah.

Speaker 6 (24:09):
To Lola, back to you.

Speaker 11 (24:11):
Okay, this was actually a really good date with this tall,
dark and handsome guy. Okay, yeah, yeah. We ended up
going back to his house and we're in the middle
of making out and then he like pulls back and
looks deep into my eyes and he tells me how
much I remind him of his fourth wife.

Speaker 2 (24:34):
Did you ask if it was married past tense?

Speaker 1 (24:36):
Because it felt very presents?

Speaker 2 (24:39):
Was the last your eight?

Speaker 7 (24:41):
So you know what?

Speaker 11 (24:42):
I did not even ask after that. I just knew
I did not want to be whatever the next.

Speaker 14 (24:47):
Number was going to be?

Speaker 6 (24:49):
Denise, can you counter?

Speaker 13 (24:50):
So I had this guy who offered to pick me
up for our date which horay right.

Speaker 12 (24:57):
But when he shows up, I.

Speaker 13 (24:58):
Opened the passenger cargoor and there's already a girl in.

Speaker 1 (25:01):
The front seat.

Speaker 13 (25:04):
He tells me, no, no, it's okay, just hop in
the back. So I get in the back, and then
he proceeds to introduce this thing that he climbed. Our
dates too close together, so he is going to drop
her off first and then we can start her day.

Speaker 6 (25:17):
Oh that's a gentleman. Moved to at least drop the
other date off.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
He wasn't late to get you.

Speaker 9 (25:24):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (25:25):
Wait was she chill?

Speaker 7 (25:27):
No?

Speaker 13 (25:27):
It was very awkward silence.

Speaker 6 (25:30):
Oh wow, okay.

Speaker 13 (25:32):
Her name is Stacey.

Speaker 6 (25:33):
Oh you guys are now friends apparently, So okay, I
heard bell there. That means we're on to the third round.
We need your best stories here, ladies. So motorola, Lola,
what do you got?

Speaker 14 (25:43):
Okay?

Speaker 11 (25:44):
I was on this date with this guy. We're driving
to the restaurant, and he just says real quick, like,
I get to stop off somewhere.

Speaker 5 (25:51):
Is that cool?

Speaker 11 (25:52):
I'm like, yeah, totally. We enter a building and end
up in a waiting room of a dentist's office.

Speaker 6 (26:00):
Oh no, this is sexy. Keep going.

Speaker 11 (26:02):
So I finally turned to him, and I'm like, do
you's an appointment or you like picking something? Use, Like,
what's what's going on? And he tells me that he
just enjoys the smell of fluoride so much so that
it turns him on. Yeah, he was trying to set the.

Speaker 1 (26:19):
Mood for us, dude, and the Dennis's office does have
a real distinct smell.

Speaker 5 (26:26):
It's like a medicine.

Speaker 6 (26:29):
Yeah, Denise, this is your last chance.

Speaker 13 (26:33):
So I went to dinner with this guy. He was
super cute and everything was going really well okay, and
you know, every couple argues at some point, I wonder
if we're.

Speaker 7 (26:44):
Good at that.

Speaker 13 (26:46):
I'm like, oh no, I don't know, considering it's the
first dake. And he's like, why don't we try it
after dessert?

Speaker 14 (26:54):
And I laugh it off.

Speaker 13 (26:54):
I'm like, okay, yeah, sure, I really thought he was joking.

Speaker 6 (26:58):
Yeah, yeah, let's plan an art.

Speaker 13 (27:01):
We finished, he gets the check, We get up, and
he gets mad over nothing.

Speaker 6 (27:05):
Oh my god.

Speaker 13 (27:06):
He shaves up and he leaves text me when I
think he got far enough away to be like now
time for makeup hookup?

Speaker 6 (27:15):
Oh actually this is kind of smart.

Speaker 5 (27:18):
He's like role playing, but not his own thing.

Speaker 6 (27:22):
All right, there it is. We got the final bell
there that means the match is over. We need to
score it. Alexis I Lola.

Speaker 4 (27:30):
For the guy trying to contact his ex via pigeon,
we got one.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
Oh man, I gotta go Denise with court date, phone.

Speaker 6 (27:39):
Call and the roll tied up. You get the final call.

Speaker 5 (27:43):
I gotta go with Lola.

Speaker 6 (27:45):
Congratulations the Ductress of Solitude. And as a prize, Brook
will tell you her favorite sexy emoji that she uses
to flirt with.

Speaker 2 (27:57):
I love how about wiki face wow og.

Speaker 6 (28:04):
Classic text in the seven, eight, five, nine two. If
you want to hear on the next edition of Battle
at the Tinder Dates, your phone.

Speaker 9 (28:10):
Tap is next brooking Jeffrey in the morning.

Speaker 6 (28:14):
Today, we call a guy who works in the tech industry.
He's got a good job right now, but is hoping
to land an even better one the job market though, Eh,
it's a little bit tough on him lately, where he'll
get some interviews and then be rejected and never know why.
Well that's about to change, not the rejection part, just

(28:35):
the finding out why part, Because our company believes in
total brutal honesty, and it's in your phone tap right now.

Speaker 11 (28:48):
Hello.

Speaker 6 (28:49):
Hi is this Steve? Oh yo, this is Steve fantastic.
Hi Steve, this is Chetferglaru. I'm sorry who chet Ferglaru?
I'm calling on behalf of G Consulting. Oh. I work
in our Human Fulfillment department. Okay, how are you emotionally

(29:10):
and spiritually today?

Speaker 14 (29:14):
I'm good?

Speaker 6 (29:15):
M mm hmmmmm wonderful. We always start with that question
because wellness is one of our core brand principles, along
with synergy, integrity, and deeply confusing metaphors. I don't uh,
that last one was a joke kind of Anyway, you

(29:38):
applied to our strategic Cloud Alignment Specialist role and I'm
calling with an update on that process. Oh yeah, so
unfortunately you did not get the position. Oh but don't
hang up, because this is where it gets fun fun.

Speaker 9 (29:57):
Right.

Speaker 6 (29:57):
We're piloting something new here at G. It's called the
pre rejection feedback session.

Speaker 13 (30:04):
I don't know anything what that is, right.

Speaker 6 (30:07):
Because we're just starting it here. Basically, we let you
hear exactly what went wrong during your interview. No fluff,
no corporate speak, just raw brutal honesty from our team. Seriously, Yes,
we believe in transparency here, like an emotional X ray
that shows not just your heart but the weird little

(30:29):
grudge that it's holding from back in twenty fourteen. That's
right to the problem. That's different, sure is now. I
have here a few anonymous reviewer notes and these were
all taken during your Zoom interview. Can I read some
of them to you? I guess perfect? Okay. First one

(30:51):
says candidate maintained suspiciously strong eye contact, as if trying
to hypnotize us your thoughts on that, Steve, I was
just looking at the screen right, Yes, but some of
our senior staff are very sensitive to laser eyes.

Speaker 13 (31:11):
But I don't have laser eyes.

Speaker 6 (31:14):
You gave the impression that you did. But moving on, next,
zoom reviewer said a few times you laughed nervously and
gave a strong guy who microwaves fish at work energy.

Speaker 14 (31:27):
I don't eat fish at all.

Speaker 6 (31:30):
Yeah, that doesn't matter, because that's the energy that you
gave off.

Speaker 14 (31:35):
Well, how am I supposed to change that?

Speaker 6 (31:37):
It's just an opportunity for self reflection. And one of
our managers said, you had the aura of a man
who brings a beanbag chair to team meetings. What I'm
actually feeling that vibe from you right now. I can
feel the beanbag entering the room.

Speaker 7 (31:53):
I don't know what to say here.

Speaker 8 (31:55):
This was just a normal interview for me, and this
feels me a very harsh Critsia.

Speaker 6 (32:00):
Well, that's kind of our goal. We aim for radical
corporate intimacy. Okay, But now I do have some good
news for you. You are still eligible for our other
opening junior backup executive culture intern level zero. It's unpaid
and unstructured.

Speaker 14 (32:19):
No, thank you.

Speaker 6 (32:20):
No, are you sure because we might let you stand
near someone important at the company picnic. We never let
any new hires do that. That's quite an honor. I'm fine,
thank you, Okay. One final note that I do need
to pass along to you. This prank call is being
recorded on the radio for thousands of others to listen
and judge. What are you okay? If we give you

(32:43):
their feedback as well? Oh my god, we kind of do.
My name is jeff from Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
We're doing a phone tap on you, man. Oh my god,
you guys suck so hard. You should really blame your
roommate Baker, because he's the one who set you up.

(33:06):
You see, there's that aggressive microwave fish energy that everyone
was talking about. Something maybe you could work on while
you're laying on your bean bag that you brought to
the meeting.

Speaker 9 (33:18):
The weeke up every morning was funk tab weekday mornings
on the twenties, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

Speaker 6 (33:25):
It's good to set rules and boundaries early on in
a new relationship.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
Yeah, I mean communications key there.

Speaker 6 (33:33):
Yeah, like when Brooks started dating her husband, she made
a rule on night one he wasn't allowed to cry
when they hooked up. Oh no, well, let's just say
that rule didn't last very long.

Speaker 2 (33:49):
Those tears.

Speaker 6 (33:51):
But one of our listeners was given a different stipulation
before his first date. He had to say yes to
it in order for them to meet. Is it better
or worse than Brooks list of strict demands? We're gonna
find out when we do your brand new second date update,
Next second date Update. If anyone's been out on a

(34:13):
date recently, you know how expensive it can be, not
just for the food and drinks, but the blindfolds and
the rubber bands.

Speaker 2 (34:22):
I thought you're gonna say parking, Yeah.

Speaker 6 (34:26):
You do need a place to park before you set
up all the rubber bands I see, and I cannot
find one strong enough to hold my wrists down anymore.

Speaker 5 (34:33):
Wow, I don't know that is it's the tariffs.

Speaker 6 (34:36):
God, the tariffs on maximum strength rubber bands from Indonesia.
They are through the roof right now.

Speaker 2 (34:42):
You can dry the rubber bands they put on a sparagus.
Those are the fat boys.

Speaker 6 (34:46):
Still not strong enough, expensive, not stronger, Jeff. But that
was the only place that make them stronger, and they
cost so much money. I'm just I'm happy that our
listener Leo figured out how to save a buck or
two on his day recently, and I'm very curious how
we did it. So Leo, welcome to the show.

Speaker 5 (35:06):
It's like, what we.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
Get, Leo.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
Are the rubber band tariffs hitting you hard to or
did you rubber band yourself?

Speaker 7 (35:12):
Oh no, I'm still here. I'm doing all right.

Speaker 6 (35:16):
Okay, where you get your extra strength rubber bands from?

Speaker 7 (35:21):
I know we typically need to get a lot of them.

Speaker 5 (35:27):
Just save them from random mail.

Speaker 6 (35:28):
That's actually kind of smart.

Speaker 7 (35:29):
Yeah, I got I got a drawer that I got
too many of them.

Speaker 6 (35:32):
Actually share the wealth at some point. But hey, I
know you went on a date with somebody recently, what's
her name?

Speaker 7 (35:40):
Ange Marissa?

Speaker 6 (35:42):
Okay, where'd you meet her?

Speaker 7 (35:44):
We matched on Bumbo and we connected over love of dogs.
You know, we have two dogs, and it's just we
we can't get enough of them. I mean, if we
lived in bigger places, then we probably have more than
just two, you know what I mean, like.

Speaker 6 (35:59):
One hundred and one down that movie. Yeah, okay, but
you said in your email you were able to save
some money on your date. How did you do that?

Speaker 9 (36:09):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (36:09):
Yeah? So when we matched at first, she was very
clear that she wanted to be friends. She didn't want
to jump into anything like relationship. Here we go, she's
really yeah. Yeah. So I suggested after we matched, just
grabbing a coffee, but she countered with, how about we
go to a flea market.

Speaker 6 (36:28):
Oh okay, that's how you saved me. I was gonna say,
that's how you saved money on your day with the
flea market discounts.

Speaker 7 (36:37):
Yeah, I was willing to spend it. It was her idea.

Speaker 1 (36:40):
Yeah, I think it's impressive that you are good with
being friends first.

Speaker 2 (36:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (36:47):
Right, I wouldn't do that, but that's great.

Speaker 7 (36:48):
That I'm sort of the kind of guy that doesn't
really want to jump into anything too fast myself. So
I do have friends that are women, so like, if
we decide that it doesn't work out, it's like, okay,
well if we're at that friendship level first, and we
can stay that way and then you know, it's a positive.

Speaker 1 (37:07):
Kay.

Speaker 5 (37:08):
I love that when you're like naturally friends fortally.

Speaker 3 (37:10):
But what Brooke was saying too, to be like, I'm
setting the tone friend zone right away.

Speaker 5 (37:15):
It's good that you worked with that.

Speaker 2 (37:16):
Yeah, it's refreshing. I guess it is.

Speaker 6 (37:18):
The say so take us to the flea market, though,
How did that go?

Speaker 7 (37:23):
It went okay, which is better than okay, which is
kind of weird to me. Why I haven't heard from
her since then? But before I get into that, Yeah,
we met up there and she looked like her pictures.
Thank god, she was really really cute.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
I didn't want a friend that looks like somebody else.

Speaker 5 (37:42):
A friend thing does make it different.

Speaker 6 (37:43):
Now, Yeah, yeah, that's right. You can't really judge that, Okay.

Speaker 7 (37:48):
So she was excited to be there too, and bargain
hunt and all that, and we walked around that flea
market for a good hour and.

Speaker 6 (37:54):
A half to see, Yeah, what did you get into?
Like a creative old used vha us tapes or rubber favorite.

Speaker 7 (38:03):
Yeah, no rubber bands, but we did see vhs. There
was a station that had a lot of those.

Speaker 1 (38:08):
Oh yeah, man, shocking, they're not selling so quickly.

Speaker 5 (38:13):
The machines to play them.

Speaker 6 (38:14):
Okay, So how was your connection with Marissa?

Speaker 13 (38:18):
It was good, And.

Speaker 7 (38:19):
I know that sometimes for these things, you guys ask
what we talked about. We actually talked about taxidermy, what friends.

Speaker 1 (38:27):
Don't to find a couple of worlds or.

Speaker 7 (38:33):
Yeah we saw a boot for that actually third text
to Durmy and uh. In fact, there was actually a
fox there with a monocle on. So Marissa thought that
it looks like elegance and I thought it looked straight
up haunted. I was like, I would never let that
into my.

Speaker 1 (38:50):
Home, the stuff fox, Well, that sounds like a funny
point of conversation.

Speaker 7 (38:55):
One moments, Yeah, it was.

Speaker 6 (38:57):
It was did you guys buy anything, take anything home?

Speaker 2 (39:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (39:00):
We each got one thing. I got a Fleetwood Mac
record and she got one of those novelty aprons where
it looks like there's a shirtless firefighter on the front.

Speaker 6 (39:16):
Is that it?

Speaker 7 (39:17):
Well, yeah, that's it. We each got the one thing
and then I walked her back to her place, and
on the way back, it was starting to get kind
of chilly, so I gave her my jacket, and when
we got to her place, I was like, oh, yeah,
you could just you can just hang on to it,
because I was so confident that we would meet up again,
because that's how well the first date went. And now

(39:38):
she's not answering any of my text or calls, and
it's like, Hey, as much as I would like to
see Marissa, I would also like my jacket back.

Speaker 9 (39:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
You know, if you think about it, this cheap date
actually costs you a lot of money.

Speaker 2 (39:52):
If you lose that jacket.

Speaker 9 (39:54):
Room.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
Yeah, taxidermy is not cheap chip.

Speaker 9 (39:58):
Yeah, that didn't happen.

Speaker 6 (39:59):
Thank god.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
Fox is only haunting his dreams, not his house.

Speaker 6 (40:03):
Yeah right, how long has it been since the Flea
Market date.

Speaker 7 (40:06):
It's been about two weeks.

Speaker 2 (40:10):
You've gone without a jacket for two weeks.

Speaker 8 (40:12):
That's sure.

Speaker 4 (40:13):
It's not his only jacket, I don't know, only favorite
if you wore it.

Speaker 2 (40:16):
I know, and the one he feels like he looks
good at it.

Speaker 7 (40:19):
Yeah, yeah, it is my favorite jacket. I've got like
one or two others, but they're not. They're on my
favorite you.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
Know, oh man, this is dire Jeffrey, I.

Speaker 6 (40:27):
Know, this is code red. We're going to reach out
and call Marissa, try and get you one your jacket back,
and then two possibly another meet up with her when
we do your second date update coming up right after
this second date update. Friends ghost each other, right.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
Yeah, I mean, I mean politely, Yeah, eventually you get
back together.

Speaker 6 (40:49):
Alexis if a friend wore the same outfit as you,
they're getting blackballed for Like I mean.

Speaker 2 (40:54):
I'm usually want to coffies. My friend's outfice probalyudn't talk
to you all DIBs on it?

Speaker 8 (41:00):
Yeah, yeah, just like.

Speaker 6 (41:02):
It just seems like if you agree to go out
as friends first, then there'd be less pressure on the
like hangout, you wouldn't get ditched.

Speaker 5 (41:11):
If you're just focused on friends, you're just focused on
having a good dick.

Speaker 2 (41:14):
Maybe she's a terrible friend.

Speaker 6 (41:17):
It is weird because our listener Leo has not heard
from Marissa for the last two weeks after they hung out,
And the worst case scenario I'm thinking of is if
Leo goes back to that flea market and his jacket
is up for.

Speaker 1 (41:31):
Sake, worn by the fox with the monocle.

Speaker 6 (41:34):
Oh even worse, that would not be good, Leo. Have
you checked the flea market or possibly eBay for your.

Speaker 7 (41:40):
Jacket, to be fair, No, I have not.

Speaker 2 (41:44):
Okay, great jacket caper.

Speaker 1 (41:46):
That's what she does, to steal their jackets and then
resell them on second hand storre see.

Speaker 6 (41:52):
Anything is possible, especially since she is the one that
recommended the flea market in the first place. But you
never thought about.

Speaker 7 (41:58):
That, Leo, No, I didn't think about that.

Speaker 2 (42:01):
You probably won't put a lot more thought into it.

Speaker 5 (42:03):
Yes, it's probably.

Speaker 6 (42:05):
Because why you come to the show. We're creative, creative investigators.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
Here's the thing, like, do we bring up the jacket.

Speaker 3 (42:13):
Maybe after you know she'll bring it if she says
yes to a date.

Speaker 6 (42:17):
Is it more important that you get the jacket back
or that you have another hangout and stay friends with Marissa.

Speaker 7 (42:22):
I gotta be honest. It's more important to me that
I get the jacket back because I really like that jacket.

Speaker 3 (42:27):
Okay, And you've only met this girl one time and
she just wants to be friends with you.

Speaker 6 (42:32):
It's gonna really hurt her feelings when I tell her that,
but you know what, that's what he wants. Okay, I
know what, I'll hold off. Hold off.

Speaker 2 (42:40):
I mean she might want the jacket more than him too.
We don't know, if possible.

Speaker 6 (42:43):
Let's find out. I'm going to dial her number right now.
Let's see if she picks up. But here we go. Hell, el,
Hey is this Marissa?

Speaker 14 (43:00):
Yes, this is Maria.

Speaker 6 (43:02):
Hey. This is probably the weirdest phone call you're going
to get all day, unless you'd like already talk to
your ex or something. But you're on the radio right
now with a show called Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.

Speaker 14 (43:13):
Wait, I'm wait this is the radio.

Speaker 6 (43:16):
Yeah, but yes, yes, we're a show. We try to
help out our listeners who've hung out with somebody recently
and they're not getting a call back to hang out
a second time.

Speaker 13 (43:26):
That's weird.

Speaker 5 (43:27):
It's actually not weird. It's our bread and butter. Every day.
A lot of people don't get called.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
But it's weird for you. We get understand why that
would be strange. Strange call.

Speaker 13 (43:37):
I've never heard this, so it's just.

Speaker 6 (43:40):
So we're trying to help out our listener that you
hung out with recently named Leo.

Speaker 2 (43:45):
Oh yeah, you remember Leo.

Speaker 14 (43:49):
Yeah, sorry, I'm like catching up right now. Okay, so
he called you.

Speaker 6 (43:54):
Yeah, we we spoke to him before, and he told
us about your hangout at the flea market.

Speaker 14 (43:59):
Okay, so he probably wants his jacket, I assume, so
I can just like leave it outside my place.

Speaker 5 (44:08):
Is the jacket? You're not focused on him at all.

Speaker 14 (44:11):
I'm just not really into him.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
Okay. But I thought that you just wanted to be friends.
That's what you said, Like you're not into him even
as a friend.

Speaker 13 (44:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 14 (44:19):
I think when people start dating, the idea should be
that you start as friends and then if it progresses
from there, great, But I just don't really see any
hope for that in this situation.

Speaker 6 (44:30):
After one Well, that's fair, like you're allowed to feel
that way. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (44:34):
I just feel like if you're going to start it
as friends, you've got to be more open. You've got
to give it a little bit more time, because sometimes
friendship in general just takes time.

Speaker 4 (44:43):
Like it's so bad that you know, Yeah, I mean,
what can I ask?

Speaker 6 (44:46):
Was there something like one particular thing that made you
feel that way when you were hanging out with him?

Speaker 1 (44:52):
Overall?

Speaker 14 (44:53):
I can tell you this the date itself was pretty good.

Speaker 13 (44:58):
Okay, he's cute, I liked him.

Speaker 14 (45:02):
We did have a nice time.

Speaker 2 (45:04):
That is not the response I thought you were going
to say. I thought you were going to say like
there was no sexual chemistry or.

Speaker 6 (45:10):
Brook does have a lot of sexual chemistry.

Speaker 2 (45:12):
With all of her friends.

Speaker 6 (45:13):
I can understand a lot of family members too, so
it kind of blurs the lines. But for knowing, I mean, no,
I know exactly what you mean. So for you, what
was it exactly?

Speaker 13 (45:25):
Okay, So the date was good.

Speaker 14 (45:26):
It's just when I got home, he let me borrow
his jacket because it got kind of chilly. And when
I hung up with the jacket, this little okay, this
little piece of paper fell out and I picked it
up and he had made a list titled things not
to say on the date with Marissa.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
Oh wow, wow, I know, but sometimes I do better
in my head if I write things down.

Speaker 6 (45:53):
Yeah, it depends on what things he was telling himself
not to say to her. Yeah, can we know what
some of the things were.

Speaker 14 (45:59):
The one that said, don't talk about the X like
you did the last girl.

Speaker 2 (46:05):
Well, that's an important reminder, which should be number one.

Speaker 9 (46:09):
Ye.

Speaker 14 (46:11):
Right, it's it's weird that it's been an issue, Like
it's something you have to remind yourself not to do.
I mean, that's like a red flag for me.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
Okay, what's another one.

Speaker 14 (46:19):
There was something that said a girl who don't like
crypto chat again, like it's just another weird thing. Like
if he's super into crypto, then like, clearly, why is
that already being to.

Speaker 6 (46:32):
Crypto means he's potentially rich?

Speaker 14 (46:35):
Yeahs no, not no, she is right.

Speaker 5 (46:41):
Every crypto bro will tell you they're rich, but not
all of them are.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
I mean, but you don't see these things as just
I don't know, thoughtful preparation before a date.

Speaker 14 (46:51):
I just think it's better to plan nice things than
to write out things you should not do that you
usually do that turns people off.

Speaker 3 (46:58):
Oh that's tough being like don't I know, you know,
it's like it's a good thing to say.

Speaker 6 (47:04):
Don't exactly because one of the things that I wrote
down was don't tell Marissa that Leo is on the
other line listening and wants to talk to it.

Speaker 2 (47:13):
Forgot, was I not supposed to?

Speaker 6 (47:16):
Oh my god, Marissa, Yeah, Leo's on the other line
listening to this conversation.

Speaker 14 (47:23):
You're kidding.

Speaker 13 (47:24):
You're kidding right now.

Speaker 6 (47:25):
I told myself not to say that to you. I'm sorry, Leo.

Speaker 7 (47:29):
Are you there, I'm here? This is this is pretty awkward. Okay, Yeah, I.

Speaker 6 (47:38):
Know, I'm sorry, and I know I wasn't supposed to
say it. So the awkwardness.

Speaker 9 (47:40):
I can't believe you.

Speaker 14 (47:41):
I can't believe tell me that effort.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
Do your maname Jeffrey though, right not Leo.

Speaker 13 (47:47):
I'm I don't even I'm upset.

Speaker 9 (47:50):
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (47:51):
It was my fault. It was my fault. I'll take
the blame. Leo. Talk to Marissa about what you just heard.

Speaker 7 (47:57):
Well, I mean, the good thing now is that you
know all my weaknesses, you know all the bad things
that I try to not do on our date. That's
a positive, right, Okay.

Speaker 14 (48:09):
Well, you also wrote on your little list, remember to
tip this time like you. This is all They're all
red flags and things that you're saying that you usually
do and don't do this. Don't let her see who
you are, is what this list feels like.

Speaker 7 (48:25):
Marissa. I don't think you were reading the note right.
The note actually said don't forget to tip big.

Speaker 14 (48:32):
No, no, it didn't. And now you're just lying.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
Listen, listen.

Speaker 1 (48:40):
I mean, you've got a person here who really likes you,
who's trying to be a better person.

Speaker 2 (48:44):
I mean, what more can you want from someone? A
guy who can admit their flaws.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
Is nice you seriously and actually take action to change them.

Speaker 14 (48:51):
I get someone who doesn't have so many red flags.
And if she's talking about his X all the time
and doesn't tip and it's into crypto, this is so
messed up.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
I think it's your perspective, though. I think if you
looked at it the other way, they're all green flags.

Speaker 6 (49:03):
And I haven't heard him mention his ex girlfriend once
during this entire phone from good and it doesn't have
his little paper in front of him to remind him
not to do that.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
We didn't even know he had one.

Speaker 7 (49:13):
Yeah, I actually I actually wrote that on the paper
before I called the radio station. Actually, but I'm doing well.

Speaker 2 (49:20):
Oh you do have a paper right now as well.

Speaker 14 (49:23):
Okay, I feel like I'm being set up and I
kind of want to go.

Speaker 6 (49:25):
Now, Well, Mersa, don't you feel like maybe you're being
a little bit harsh and judging him a lot for
like a piece of paper that you found.

Speaker 14 (49:34):
No, not really like this, not even like someone I
want to. I just don't even don't care enough.

Speaker 6 (49:41):
No, but you will hold onto his jacket for two weeks.

Speaker 5 (49:44):
On the jacket. What are you doing there?

Speaker 2 (49:46):
She said that she'd leave it on her doorstep.

Speaker 14 (49:48):
I'll put it out today.

Speaker 7 (49:50):
No, wait, don't put it outside. Someone's gonna steal it.
It's a really nice jacket.

Speaker 6 (49:54):
Yeah, and then they're gonna have all the tips about
what not to do. So Marissa, would you at least
meet up with him to hand him his jacket in person.

Speaker 14 (50:03):
I'll put your jacket out at seven, come and get
it at seven.

Speaker 2 (50:07):
Okay, well there's a deadline.

Speaker 7 (50:09):
Wow, Marissa, I'm just going to say that you're not
as nice as you were on our first date. And
then it's not going to help you make more friends
if you're not this nice. You know what I mean.

Speaker 6 (50:18):
That's that's some friendly advice.

Speaker 14 (50:21):
For the tip. I think I'll be fine.

Speaker 6 (50:23):
Oh and he tips. See look what he does. He
really comes through.

Speaker 2 (50:29):
Those bullet points.

Speaker 6 (50:30):
It really is Jeffrey in the morning. Man. I'm just
reading the textboard after that second date, and someone actually
scored each of our performances. Oh oh, they said jeff succinct, humorous,
off the cuff, handsome, nine out of ten.

Speaker 2 (50:47):
No one text.

Speaker 6 (50:49):
Alexis, Jose and Brooke combined nine out of ten.

Speaker 5 (50:54):
Combine though yikes, I like it.

Speaker 6 (50:58):
I'm disappointed in all of you that you guys didn't
try harder for that poor poor man. Alexis. Do you
promise to do better next time than we have a listener?
You're not even sure, Jose you win on doing better.

Speaker 5 (51:11):
I don't know what's going on. I'm happy on a three.

Speaker 6 (51:14):
Brook, Please, will you actually try for our listeners?

Speaker 1 (51:17):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (51:17):
Always, no wonder you.

Speaker 6 (51:20):
Guys were all rated threes. But if you want to.

Speaker 5 (51:22):
Find email us now that you've heard our enthusiasm.

Speaker 6 (51:25):
Exactly if you can't email us if you want us
to help you with your dating life, but go check
out all of our second dates wherever you get your podcast,
they're up online at Brook and Jeffrey.

Speaker 9 (51:34):
Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.

Speaker 6 (51:38):
What are the big scams that we're hearing about lately? Oh,
it's Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.

Speaker 2 (51:44):
We're talking about my text thread. I'm getting so many scams, A.

Speaker 6 (51:50):
Lot of crypto scams you hear about, or bank fraud,
where they steal your pin and drain your account. But
this is what I appreciate about the mob nowadays, They're
not They're keeping it old school, doing old fashioned candle heists. Yeah,
I'm telling you this is legit because reports say a

(52:13):
Bath in body Works in a Washington, DC mall was
just hit the contraband thirty two thousand dollars worth of
scented candles.

Speaker 1 (52:24):
You can't just smell them out like you can't just
take a whip here and there and figure out where
they are.

Speaker 5 (52:29):
One dog.

Speaker 6 (52:30):
I haven't been able to track them, and the mafia
isn't claiming responsibility. But this is classic mafia stuff.

Speaker 2 (52:37):
Big scented candle people.

Speaker 6 (52:39):
Oh yeah, the Godfather loves his eucalyptus rain candle from Yankee.
But anyway, that same Bath and Bodyworks was hit eight
more times candle robberies over the next six months, just
snatching up all of the scented candles so the mob
can resell them at discount on the black candle market.

Speaker 2 (53:00):
I just have a headache for those criminals. Seriously, those
are some strong smells.

Speaker 6 (53:04):
Now, detectives are asking anybody with information on these robberies
to snitch I don't know anything about it. The fact
that my house smells like lavender fog and warm sandalwood
breeze doesn't mean anything.

Speaker 1 (53:18):
You do have a scent of cucumber melod Yeah, I'm
starting to wonder.

Speaker 2 (53:22):
Why stop?

Speaker 6 (53:24):
You can give me trouble. That's the big scam that's
happening right now, black market scented candles lifted by the mafia,
So keep your eyes out. Laser Stories is coming up
right after this. It's the radio segment that's getting your
hair clean with a meaty summer vibe, introducing Shampoobacue sauce.

(53:52):
Get your soft, silky hair with a smoky mesquite shine.
I'm gonna lick it dry.

Speaker 2 (53:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (53:58):
It also comes in Coconut Girl and Carolina Reaper thanks
to Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news
stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except
we've got a laser as other charcoal catour kids just
don't head first. Laser Stories out of the splashy spring symposiums.

Speaker 5 (54:19):
Oh.

Speaker 6 (54:20):
The New York Times recently did a big feature on
how rich people are moving on from fine wine. Oh
they are and now getting in on fine waters A
writer for The Times recently went to a fine water
competition where six judges or Water Somalia's Stop It Blind
Taste tested one hundred and seven different types of mineral

(54:43):
water from all over the world.

Speaker 3 (54:45):
Oh, I really have become a water snob, like heavy
on first and Fiji.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
See I'm tap I like, I think more interested in
this if it was tapped from different parts of the country, you.

Speaker 5 (54:57):
Know what I mean?

Speaker 6 (54:58):
I would have assumed brook was gutter, So you know what, Yeah,
that's a big step up for you. Like why they
say each type of fine water has a distinct taste
depending on where it comes from and the mix of
minerals it has. Some of them now go for hundreds
of dollars per bottle. So if you have an old
Fiji preferably the year twenty fifteen, stuck in the back

(55:20):
of your garage fridge, you could be.

Speaker 1 (55:23):
Rich aging in a plastic bottle that's seeping plastic into it.

Speaker 5 (55:28):
But why does a twenty year Oldasauni sound awful?

Speaker 9 (55:30):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (55:31):
No, I'm just kidding. Most of these waters, I'm sure
you've never been heard of before, including the winner this
year that consisted of melted snow, which had been filtered
through Peruvian volcanic rock.

Speaker 3 (55:40):
Yah, yeah, it's not North American volcanic rock.

Speaker 6 (55:46):
Yearly gross. The judges also taste tested one made of
mist gathered from a pine forest in Tasmania, but sadly
they came in fourteenth right behind a bottle of dasani
that was purchased at a new airport.

Speaker 5 (56:01):
See, there we go.

Speaker 2 (56:02):
It's stories like this that make it so hard to
like rich people.

Speaker 11 (56:06):
I know.

Speaker 6 (56:07):
Anyway, the idea of fine water isn't new, but it's
becoming a lot trendier, especially because people are drinking less
alcohol than they used to. Plus some people are even
converting their old wine cellars into water sellings. Town Now,
I don't know about that. This next laser stories out
of trend towns. I have a question for the room.

(56:27):
Would you be four or against showers with Grandmas?

Speaker 5 (56:31):
I've fallen and I can get off, not like for
fun if you needed help in the showers.

Speaker 2 (56:38):
At this point. It showers with my mom.

Speaker 1 (56:40):
I mean, how old are we are we adults when
we're doing this?

Speaker 6 (56:44):
Okay, it's just a simple question. You don't that much
because it might not be what you're thinking. Apparently there's
a new trend of baby showers for the grandparents, for
the new grandparents.

Speaker 1 (57:00):
Actually getting naked with our grandparents. This is a present party.

Speaker 6 (57:03):
I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this is about giving
gifts to grandparents for an incoming baby. Oh man, there's
plenty of websites where you can find that other stuff
that you want. So why is this a thing? Some
people say grandma showers are a heartwarming way to honor
a new chapter in life. Others say it's inappropriate and
even a little narcissistic. In fact, some people believe a

(57:26):
grandma shower shifts the focus away from the actual parents.

Speaker 9 (57:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (57:31):
I'd be like, if I was pregnant, my mom would
have a shower.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
Yeah yes, yeah, I mean which feels like your mom
showing up in a white dress to your wedding.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
I think she might do both things.

Speaker 6 (57:41):
A bigger issue could be that this is yet another
party that friends and relatives might feel obligated to attend
with a gift.

Speaker 5 (57:49):
Let me get pregnant. You gotta give the grandma gift
the mom again.

Speaker 2 (57:52):
They'll do free babysitting. Moment might get trade off. You
got to live close to them, that's the trade off.

Speaker 6 (58:00):
Let's be honest, some are feeling gifted out by all
of these new celebrations that are popping up, especially since
many people treat showers as a way to help first
time parents with the onslaught of extra expenses.

Speaker 1 (58:12):
Yeah, you're not even supposed to have a shower if
it's your second or third baby.

Speaker 2 (58:15):
Yeah you can have that, really, Yeah, you can have
a sprinkle is what they're called.

Speaker 1 (58:19):
Now, we're not asking for expensive gifts, but maybe people
give some cute clothes or some books or whatever.

Speaker 6 (58:25):
Right, all right, Well, regardless, this is happening, Grandma. Showers
are a real thing, and it's trending. This next laser
story is out of film land.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
That's fun.

Speaker 6 (58:37):
Moviegoers at AMC theaters are in for a rude awakening
starting next month. A few commercials and coming attractions before
a movie begins, that's pretty much expected. Yeah, but soon enough,
AMC will be delaying the start times of movies even more.

Speaker 2 (58:54):
There and I went thirty minutes after a set would
start and I still have that start Yeah.

Speaker 6 (58:59):
Yeah, So where will the added commercial or commercials go
right before the movie begins?

Speaker 2 (59:06):
Oh you're going to say, right right in the middle.

Speaker 1 (59:09):
I mean they're going to start having intermissions with commercials,
so right.

Speaker 6 (59:13):
And this is like right before it says feature presentation,
and the advertiser will pay AMC a premium for that
starting time.

Speaker 2 (59:21):
Dude, it's not like this. The theaters are swimming in
cash man. You know, nobody's going like they have to
do something.

Speaker 6 (59:29):
So, as you can imagine, people aren't happy about this.
The folks on Twitter went off.

Speaker 1 (59:35):
It's crazy because usually people of Twitter are so positive.

Speaker 6 (59:42):
One said, I show up to every movie thirty minutes
after the start time. It's always exactly as the movie
is beginning. But now what time should I show up?
Forty five minutes early, an hour early, three days early.

Speaker 9 (59:58):
Probably.

Speaker 1 (59:58):
I don't mind going early and sitting through all the ads.
The only the only problem is my snacks are over
by the time.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
That's my issue.

Speaker 5 (01:00:07):
You're already.

Speaker 1 (01:00:09):
I just need like a little like B loop up
on the screen that says go buy them now.

Speaker 5 (01:00:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:00:14):
So when you book your next ticket online, make sure
you budget in plenty of extra time for those extra
commercials because that's starting on July first.

Speaker 5 (01:00:23):
Oh boy, right, all the summer is yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:00:25):
Your final laser story is out of word worlds you
ever heard an uncommon word that catches your attention because
it sounds like something naughty. Yeah, but it's actually totally innocent.

Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
Yeah, what do you got, Joe?

Speaker 6 (01:00:39):
A new study was done and it found the top
words that sound somewhat erotic but aren't. And here's the
top ones, along with their actual meanings. Number three dongle,
Can you like shut up? What is a dongle? That's
any device that can be plugged into a hardware port
on a computer hardware We're really going to struggle to

(01:01:02):
get through these. Number two gesticulate That means to make
or use hand gestures, especially in an animated manner. Jose
gesticulates in front of us all the time.

Speaker 5 (01:01:17):
Is gesticulating? Now I know what I'm saying.

Speaker 6 (01:01:20):
And the number one word that sounds a little racy
but really isn't is uvula. Yeah, that's just the little
fleshy hanging ball in the back of your throat. There
you go. You learn a little bit today about good
words that sound bad, and now you can know about
some bad sounds that feel oh so good. This guy

(01:01:43):
is playing with a uvula inside of a Converse sneaker
and he is loving every single minute of it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
That soundsting.

Speaker 6 (01:01:53):
That's exactly what he's doing. It means Laser Stories has
come to an end for the day. We'll do it
same time.

Speaker 9 (01:01:58):
On Friday and Jeffrey in the morning.

Speaker 6 (01:02:10):
When you think of like cool at home projects that
you want to do to upgrade your house, some people
might want to put in a nice swimming pool in
the backyard, maybe build a sauna inside their home. But
today's player Dan is currently at home depot buying parts

(01:02:31):
to turn his working freezer into a caggurator. Okay, Dan,
I salute you. You are a true American hero. Welcome
to the show. Dan, Thank you, Thank you. I might
do a sauna too, That way I can combine the
drinking with I would.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
Recommend that Dan sauna is not a good place to
pass out. Yeah, my friend.

Speaker 6 (01:02:57):
But no, the cold beer counteracts the heat of the
on it. That's the perfect balance.

Speaker 5 (01:03:02):
Have the keg taps set up in the sauna, yes.

Speaker 1 (01:03:05):
Talking, Yeah, this feels like maybe you shouldn't have been
in a fraternity so you could have gotten this out
of your system already.

Speaker 6 (01:03:14):
I thought I was gonna say he was, but now
he's just an innovator all on his own, So let's
send Brooks out of the studios. We can get to
the game here. You got thirty seconds to answer as
many questions as possible. If you don't know when, you
can say past. But you have to beat brook out
right if you want to win. Are you ready? I'm ready?
Good luck? Your time starts now on this day. In
two thousand and two, American Idol premiered on what TV Network.

(01:03:35):
Fuck Hurricane Strength can reach? How many categories? Fie? Who
was the first person to sign the Declaration of Independence?

Speaker 13 (01:03:44):
Thomas Jefferson?

Speaker 6 (01:03:45):
Which country was formerly known as Persia, Iraq or Iran Iran?
How old is Taylor Swift thirty thirty five or forty
thirty five? The National Guard in what state calls themselves
the Green Mountain Boys. Dang oh, Dan came prepared for
that one. Well done, dude, that was really impressed. Well,

(01:04:07):
dang without Dan, that's true. So I think you liked that.

Speaker 5 (01:04:12):
That was a new We just laugh real quick.

Speaker 6 (01:04:14):
Yeah, loved it. So Dan, apparently our producer asked you
do you have any fun plans coming up for the summer,
and Dan said probably, I don't know yet, you're not sure.

Speaker 13 (01:04:29):
I mean, I'm building figurators.

Speaker 6 (01:04:30):
So I mean, I mean, what more do you need
to enjoy this?

Speaker 1 (01:04:33):
I gotta say, I don't think there's a Dan in
the world that isn't likable.

Speaker 2 (01:04:38):
There's just my dad's Dan, our neighbors Dad. They're all
so likable.

Speaker 3 (01:04:42):
I look up Dan felonies in this area.

Speaker 2 (01:04:46):
They just made bad decisions after getting involved with.

Speaker 6 (01:04:50):
The curator, the most popular guy on cell block.

Speaker 2 (01:04:54):
D Yeah, Dan, the man.

Speaker 9 (01:04:57):
You know?

Speaker 6 (01:04:57):
Alright, Dan, you sit tight because now it's Brooks turn.
Are you ready?

Speaker 8 (01:05:01):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:05:01):
I'm ready.

Speaker 6 (01:05:01):
Your time starts now on this day. In two thousand
and two, American Idol premiered on What TV network Fox?
A Hurricane strength can reach? How many categories five? Who
was the first person to sign the Declaration of Independence?

Speaker 2 (01:05:16):
Hancock?

Speaker 6 (01:05:17):
Which country was formerly known as Persia, Iraq or Iran Iran?
How old is Taylor Swift? Thirty thirty five or forty
thirty five? The National Guard in what state calls themselves
the Green Mountain.

Speaker 2 (01:05:31):
Boys, Oh, Virginia.

Speaker 6 (01:05:34):
That's it. It's all the time that we have. We're
gonna go over the scoreboard to see how you both
did with Jose.

Speaker 10 (01:05:39):
You gotta help me, help them, help you help me,
help you, Dan, Dan, the man.

Speaker 5 (01:05:47):
As Brook would call you, you got five.

Speaker 6 (01:05:52):
That's how it's done.

Speaker 2 (01:05:53):
What did you call after the k Garager? Dang it,
Dan Brook, Dan, God five? Oh, I don't know God.

Speaker 5 (01:06:02):
Also far.

Speaker 2 (01:06:06):
Oh, I'm sorry.

Speaker 6 (01:06:07):
Ty goes to the house on these, Dan, let's go
over the answers to everybody. In two thousand and two
American Idol premiered on Fox. A hurricane strength can reach
up to five categories. Number one is if the windsor
seventy four miles per hour. Category five is one hundred
and fifty seven post.

Speaker 3 (01:06:24):
Oh my god, I think I survive a category one.

Speaker 6 (01:06:27):
The first person to sign the Declaration of Independence was
John Hancock, also the largest of all the signatures on that.

Speaker 2 (01:06:33):
He didn't realize how people were gonna follow him, you know.

Speaker 6 (01:06:36):
Yeah. The country formerly known as Persia is Iran Taylor
Swift is thirty five years old, and the National Guard
that calls themselves the Green Mountain Boys is from the
state of Vermont because that is the Green Mountain State.

Speaker 2 (01:06:51):
I know it was a v state.

Speaker 6 (01:06:52):
Yeah, So Dan, I'm sorry, man, not quite enough to
beat Brook, but just for playing, you do win A
family four back of tickets to Hot Wheels Monster Trucks
live at Angel of the Winds Arena on June twenty first. Awesome,
Oh good, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:07:09):
So what are you gonna fill your cagaurat up with
the first time?

Speaker 14 (01:07:13):
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (01:07:14):
I'm also maybe gonna get into homebrewings. So's heet to
be determined here, more like.

Speaker 5 (01:07:18):
Samuel Adams at the very beginning, right now, that's what
he has to look back on this day. And you
are going to be an American beer patriot, my friend.

Speaker 13 (01:07:27):
Yep, that's right.

Speaker 6 (01:07:27):
You guys can all come down for a pint aor right.
Hell yeah, all right, we'll see you soon.

Speaker 2 (01:07:32):
Man.

Speaker 6 (01:07:32):
We're gonna do Windbrooks Bucks at the same time

Speaker 9 (01:07:34):
Tomorrow, brook and Jeffrey in the morning.