June 27, 2025 • 8 mins
Weird news stories from around the world… with a healthy dose of lasers added in. Does it make sense? No not really, but it doesn’t HAVE TO… it’s “Laser Stories”!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
It's the radio segment that's launching a new drink at
Starbucks to help you avoid the after effects of coffee,
introducing the new Frapto Bismol, the bright pink caffeinated beverage
that gives you the stimulation of a chilled iced coffee
with the bowel soothing sensation of a peptose.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Can we get it with?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Of course, you can clear out the tubes and get
ready for Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird
news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does,
except we've got a laser. Those other caffeine queens just don't.
This first laser story is out of Duncanville, Alabama. After
hours at the local quick stop, security cameras picked up
(00:49):
some unexpected movement, even though the store was already locked
up for the night.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Oh Man.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Apparently man had broken in while wearing a full body
Scooby Doo cost.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
I mean, you can't be mad at Scooby now, it
is up to hygiene alone.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
And what did he take while he was in there? Well,
Scooby made off with some cash and coins, but no brook.
He did not take any Scooby snacks. Jeff the suspect
is described as a white male approximately five foot nine
inches tall, and authorities currently don't have any leads.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Well, they're just gonna have to wait to Halloween because
you know, he's not going to order another costume.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
They did post a photo of the guy in his
costume on Facebook, asking for help, possibly from some meddling kids,
but people online got in on the fund with their comments.
One said, have you interviewed fred Daphne Vellman and Shaggy
to see if they were waiting for Scooby out in
the mystery Machine?
Speaker 4 (01:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Okay, Another said row Raggy, and one person suggested they
change the headline to Scooby Doo be Doo where are you?
Speaker 3 (02:09):
That was a missed opportunity.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah, most people online believe it's not really Scooby who
did it?
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Oh wow? Some people do believe it was, but.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
They think someone with a second mask underneath, possibly the
old caretaker or even old Man Wickles who owns the
Haunted amusement park.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
That makes more sense.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Your next laser story out of Virginia, McDonald's and Alexandria
has imposed new restrictions following a series of altercations involving students.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
What I mean, honestly, it is bizarre. There is always
a McDonald's by a high school.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Interesting. Apparently high school kids were coming in there and
being disruptive and overly rowdy, disruptive high schoolers, So what
are they doing different now?
Speaker 2 (03:01):
From now on?
Speaker 1 (03:02):
That location refuses to allow dining service to anyone under
twenty one years of age, and unless they are supervised.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
It's a twenty one and over McDonald's.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Kid comes in for a habit, you'll get out of here.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
You're not welcome.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
If their parent is with them, they're allowed to eat there,
but otherwise not allowed.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Why it's little bar and it's okay.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
That's a good portion of their business, so we'll see
what happens with that. The other big change is they've
added a doorbell on the outside.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
You have to dang it.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Sketchy like they have to open the door for you.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Can they get drunk people at night?
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Be so annoying, it's not even a joke to enter.
Customers have to ring it in order to be allowed
to entry by an employee. Then you'll be escorted to
the counter where you can order from the digital screen
and then after that go grab a seat.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Dude, really bad.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Whoever owns this McDonald's is going under there?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Yeah, way if it sounds like it's going overboard, one
person doesn't think so, Oh, who's that? Seventy year olds
Robert Hans there.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
He's been eating.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
There for over fifty years, and he says it's not
fair to the hard working employees. Instead of sitting down
in a peaceful environment to eat their nuggets, they got
to put up with a bunch of these idiots.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
You ye, these idiots are probably the employees friends.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Yeah, good point his next lazer stories out of the
ice pack and wine bar.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Would you say you're more injury prone than most?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Well, a new pole found the average adult suffers thirty
five scrapes and bruises each year.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
I buy my lip a lot, like, I talk too much.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
And I cheat.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Injury right, that.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Counts thirty at least thirty four times a year. And
then I have one other injury that got sprained ankle.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, I have a bump in my mouth right now.
That's a ewing wo.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
We need to get like medical doctors.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
They get more like active injury.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
It hurts so bad right now?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Does and chewing don't count as active.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
That is the most active I get throughout the day. Yeah,
they the hot dog eating contest. You can easily suffer
an injury there, I'm getting worse brush judgment not okay, Jose,
I'm home and thanks text.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Board for having my back. All those texts coming.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Were hurting ourselves right now around three times a month.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Kids are even more injury prone when you count up.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
All those old aois.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
The study found the average American racks up four thousand cut, scrapes.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
And bruises over the course of their lifetime. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
The most common reasons we injure ourselves are we get
distracted or aren't paying attention, general clumsiness, and Jose, kitchen
related incidents the survey is all about.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
I think they'd bean like cutting your finger while you're out.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Your head.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Yes, I think it's great chewing accidents. I think that's
what it is.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Last stat the poll found one in four people worry
about the other people judging them as being weak or
sickly if they have a band aid on.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
I tell my kids all the time, are you weak?
Speaker 1 (06:27):
At the other end of the spectrum, though, one in
eight people want you to ask about their injury and
they'll show you the band. Next leisure story is out
of social media central. Steve Burns, or as you might
know him, the original host of the children's show Blues Clues.
(06:47):
He's launching a podcast this fall for all the adults
who grew up watching them.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Every time he posts a video checking in on us
like viral. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah. The podcast is called Alive, and we'll focus on
what it means to stay human in a complicated world.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Right, just what we need another rival podcasting, Do.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Not pick up fine with this our podcast. Our podcast
is so inspirational.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
I'm about to beef with Steve Burns in a second.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
But Steve says, quote, sure, there are thousands of other
podcasts you can listen to. This is the one that
listens back, you know, not really, it doesn't actually listen
to you. But he says, Alive is just a continuation
of the spirit of Blues Clues, only now we're grown ups.
(07:39):
But we're still searching, still learning, still trying to follow
the clues to connect with each other. He did say
there will be less talking furniture, but promises there will
still be some fun along the way. Wow, So no
talking salt and pepper shakers, but what about moaning shoes.
(08:00):
I'm not asking for myself if somebody else wants to know,
because his favorite Blues Blues character was Sally the Sneakers.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
That make guess you'll have to listen to the podcasts
to find.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Out that Sow means Laser Stories has come to an
end for the day.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
We'll do it again, same time on Monday, Brooke and
Jeffrey in the morning.
It's the radio segment that's launching a new drink at
Starbucks to help you avoid the after effects of coffee,
introducing the new Frapto Bismol, the bright pink caffeinated beverage
that gives you the stimulation of a chilled iced coffee
with the bowel soothing sensation of a peptose.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Can we get it with?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Of course, you can clear out the tubes and get
ready for Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird
news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does,
except we've got a laser. Those other caffeine queens just don't.
This first laser story is out of Duncanville, Alabama. After
hours at the local quick stop, security cameras picked up
(00:49):
some unexpected movement, even though the store was already locked
up for the night.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Oh Man.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Apparently man had broken in while wearing a full body
Scooby Doo cost.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
I mean, you can't be mad at Scooby now, it
is up to hygiene alone.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
And what did he take while he was in there? Well,
Scooby made off with some cash and coins, but no brook.
He did not take any Scooby snacks. Jeff the suspect
is described as a white male approximately five foot nine
inches tall, and authorities currently don't have any leads.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Well, they're just gonna have to wait to Halloween because
you know, he's not going to order another costume.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
They did post a photo of the guy in his
costume on Facebook, asking for help, possibly from some meddling kids,
but people online got in on the fund with their comments.
One said, have you interviewed fred Daphne Vellman and Shaggy
to see if they were waiting for Scooby out in
the mystery Machine?
Speaker 4 (01:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Okay, Another said row Raggy, and one person suggested they
change the headline to Scooby Doo be Doo where are you?
Speaker 3 (02:09):
That was a missed opportunity.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah, most people online believe it's not really Scooby who
did it?
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Oh wow? Some people do believe it was, but.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
They think someone with a second mask underneath, possibly the
old caretaker or even old Man Wickles who owns the
Haunted amusement park.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
That makes more sense.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Your next laser story out of Virginia, McDonald's and Alexandria
has imposed new restrictions following a series of altercations involving students.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
What I mean, honestly, it is bizarre. There is always
a McDonald's by a high school.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Interesting. Apparently high school kids were coming in there and
being disruptive and overly rowdy, disruptive high schoolers, So what
are they doing different now?
Speaker 2 (03:01):
From now on?
Speaker 1 (03:02):
That location refuses to allow dining service to anyone under
twenty one years of age, and unless they are supervised.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
It's a twenty one and over McDonald's.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Kid comes in for a habit, you'll get out of here.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
You're not welcome.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
If their parent is with them, they're allowed to eat there,
but otherwise not allowed.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Why it's little bar and it's okay.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
That's a good portion of their business, so we'll see
what happens with that. The other big change is they've
added a doorbell on the outside.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
You have to dang it.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Sketchy like they have to open the door for you.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Can they get drunk people at night?
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Be so annoying, it's not even a joke to enter.
Customers have to ring it in order to be allowed
to entry by an employee. Then you'll be escorted to
the counter where you can order from the digital screen
and then after that go grab a seat.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Dude, really bad.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Whoever owns this McDonald's is going under there?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Yeah, way if it sounds like it's going overboard, one
person doesn't think so, Oh, who's that? Seventy year olds
Robert Hans there.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
He's been eating.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
There for over fifty years, and he says it's not
fair to the hard working employees. Instead of sitting down
in a peaceful environment to eat their nuggets, they got
to put up with a bunch of these idiots.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
You ye, these idiots are probably the employees friends.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Yeah, good point his next lazer stories out of the
ice pack and wine bar.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Would you say you're more injury prone than most?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Well, a new pole found the average adult suffers thirty
five scrapes and bruises each year.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
I buy my lip a lot, like, I talk too much.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
And I cheat.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Injury right, that.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Counts thirty at least thirty four times a year. And
then I have one other injury that got sprained ankle.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, I have a bump in my mouth right now.
That's a ewing wo.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
We need to get like medical doctors.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
They get more like active injury.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
It hurts so bad right now?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Does and chewing don't count as active.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
That is the most active I get throughout the day. Yeah,
they the hot dog eating contest. You can easily suffer
an injury there, I'm getting worse brush judgment not okay, Jose,
I'm home and thanks text.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Board for having my back. All those texts coming.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Were hurting ourselves right now around three times a month.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Kids are even more injury prone when you count up.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
All those old aois.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
The study found the average American racks up four thousand cut, scrapes.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
And bruises over the course of their lifetime. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
The most common reasons we injure ourselves are we get
distracted or aren't paying attention, general clumsiness, and Jose, kitchen
related incidents the survey is all about.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
I think they'd bean like cutting your finger while you're out.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Your head.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Yes, I think it's great chewing accidents. I think that's
what it is.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Last stat the poll found one in four people worry
about the other people judging them as being weak or
sickly if they have a band aid on.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
I tell my kids all the time, are you weak?
Speaker 1 (06:27):
At the other end of the spectrum, though, one in
eight people want you to ask about their injury and
they'll show you the band. Next leisure story is out
of social media central. Steve Burns, or as you might
know him, the original host of the children's show Blues Clues.
(06:47):
He's launching a podcast this fall for all the adults
who grew up watching them.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Every time he posts a video checking in on us
like viral. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah. The podcast is called Alive, and we'll focus on
what it means to stay human in a complicated world.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Right, just what we need another rival podcasting, Do.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Not pick up fine with this our podcast. Our podcast
is so inspirational.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
I'm about to beef with Steve Burns in a second.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
But Steve says, quote, sure, there are thousands of other
podcasts you can listen to. This is the one that
listens back, you know, not really, it doesn't actually listen
to you. But he says, Alive is just a continuation
of the spirit of Blues Clues, only now we're grown ups.
(07:39):
But we're still searching, still learning, still trying to follow
the clues to connect with each other. He did say
there will be less talking furniture, but promises there will
still be some fun along the way. Wow, So no
talking salt and pepper shakers, but what about moaning shoes.
(08:00):
I'm not asking for myself if somebody else wants to know,
because his favorite Blues Blues character was Sally the Sneakers.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
That make guess you'll have to listen to the podcasts
to find.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Out that Sow means Laser Stories has come to an
end for the day.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
We'll do it again, same time on Monday, Brooke and
Jeffrey in the morning.
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
Jose Bolanos
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