Phone Tap: Brutally Honest Feedback

Today’s Phone Tap victim has been run through the ringer while applying for a new job, so his roommate thought he might be a perfect candidate for some of our brutally honest feedback!!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today, we call a guy who works in the tech industry.
He's got a good job right now, but is hoping
to land an even better one the job market though. Eh,
it's a little bit tough on him lately, where he'll
get some interviews and then be rejected and never know why.
Well that's about to change, not the rejection part, just

(00:20):
the finding out why part, because our company believes in
total brutal honesty and it's in your phone tap right now. Hello,
Hi is this Steve? Oh yeah, this is Steve Fantastic?
Hi Steve, this is chet Ferglaru. I'm sorry who chet Ferglaru?

(00:47):
I'm calling on behalf of consulting. Oh, I work in
our human fulfillment department. Okay, how are you emotionally and
spiritually today? I'm good? M mm hmmmmmm wonderful. We always
start with that question because wellness is one of our

(01:08):
core brand principles, along with synergy, integrity, and deeply confusing metaphors.
I don't uh, that last one was a joke kind
of anyway. You applied to our strategic Cloud Alignment specialist
role and I'm calling with an update on that process.

(01:31):
Oh yeah, So, unfortunately you did not get the position. Oh,
but don't hang up, because this is where it gets fun. Fun. Right.
We're piloting something new here at once. It's called the
pre rejection feedback session. Oh. I don't know anything what

(01:52):
that is, right, because we're just starting it here. Basically,
we let you hear exactly what went wrong during your interview.
No fluff, no corporate speak, just raw brutal honesty from
our team. Seriously, Yes, we believe in transparency here, like
an emotional X ray that shows not just your heart

(02:14):
but the weird little grudge that it's holding from back
in twenty fourteen. That's right to the problem. That's different,
sure is now? I have here a few anonymous reviewer notes,
and these were all taken during your Zoom interview. Can
I read some of them to you? I guess perfect? Okay.

(02:35):
First one says candidate maintained suspiciously strong eye contact, as
if trying to hypnotize us your thoughts on that, Steve,
I was just looking at the screen, right, Yes, but
some of our senior staff are very sensitive to laser eyes.

(02:57):
But I don't have laser eyes. You gave the impression
that you did. But moving on, next, Zoom reviewer said,
a few times you laughed nervously and gave a strong
guy who microwaves fish at work energy. I don't eat
fish at all. Yeah, that doesn't matter, because that's the

(03:18):
energy that you gave off. Well, how am I supposed
to change that? It's just an opportunity for self reflection.
And one of our managers said, you had the aura
of a man who brings a bean bag chair to
team meetings. What I'm actually feeling that vibe from you
right now, I can feel the beanbag entering the room.

(03:38):
I don't know what to say here. This was just
a normal interview for me, and this feels me a
very harsh critique. Well, that's kind of our goal. We
aim for radical corporate intimacy. Okay, But now I do
have some good news for you. You are still eligible
for our other opening, junior back executive culture intern level zero.

(04:03):
It's unpaid and unstructured. No, thank you. No, are you sure?
Because we might let you stand near someone important at
the company picnic. We never let any new hires do that.
That's quite an honor. I'm fine, thank you. Okay. One
final note that I do need to pass along to
you this prank call is being recorded on the radio

(04:24):
for thousands of others to listen and judge, what are
you okay? If we give you their feedback as well.
Oh my god, we kind of do. My name is
jeff from Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. We're doing
a phone tap on you. Man. Oh my god. You
guys shuck so hard. You should really blame your roommate Baker,

(04:46):
because he's the one who sets you up. You see,
there's that aggressive microwave fish energy that everyone was talking about.
Something maybe you could work on while you're laying on
beanbag that you brought to the meeting. Wake Up every
morning with phoonk tab weekday mornings on the twenties Brooke

(05:08):
and Jeffrey in the Morning