#10 Phone Tap of 2024: Coma Matchmaker

We're kicking off the countdown of the Top Phone Taps of 2024 with Jose! Our Phone Tap victim has been unlucky in love to the point that he shelled out for a matchmaking service. So today Jose's calling as that service to tell him he found the perfect Sleeping Beauty for him!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
One eight hundred Do ui Away now offering free remote
consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.
Trust Brook, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote
consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred douy
away dot Com or call eight hundred do you y Away.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
The weight is over. It's finally time to start the
countdown of the top ten phone taps of Christmas.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yes, honestly, this is what is officially kicking off the
holiday season for.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
Me, the best prank calls that we've done all year long,
and today it's number ten featuring Jose Belanya, where he
calls a guy that's signed up for a matchmaker service
to tell him we've got good news and found the
perfect woman who meets well, let's call it most of
his criteria with one major catch. It is your number

(00:52):
ten phone tap of the year happening right now right
is brooking Jeffrey's ten phone taps at Christmas.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
Hello, Hello, is this allans?

Speaker 4 (01:06):
Yeah, he's calling.

Speaker 3 (01:08):
I'm calling from Love Matchmakers. My name is Cody, Cody Pendant. Okay,
you've been working with Angela as your matchmaking consultant, right,
but I'm her assistant. She's out of town right now,
on a silent retreat. I think she mentioned that.

Speaker 4 (01:25):
No she didn't.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
Oh, well, she is enjoying herself. If you're wondering, you
got to see her tan, which she gets back. I
just got some pictures. Anyways, I'm calling because I have
been authorized to give you good news.

Speaker 4 (01:38):
Okay, that's great.

Speaker 3 (01:39):
I don't know how to say this, but I think
we did it. We found the one.

Speaker 4 (01:45):
What are you joking?

Speaker 3 (01:46):
No, No, she's professional, she's beautiful, she meets all the criteria.
You're gonna be so impressed.

Speaker 5 (01:54):
Well, I mean I've been waiting and paying, so I'm
ready to let's go.

Speaker 3 (01:59):
Sure have and it all paid off. Because congratulations, you're
in a relationship. Alan, you have a girlfriend.

Speaker 5 (02:08):
Yay, Well all right, I guess you found it match.
We clearly haven't met. I don't know if we're in
a relationship yet. No, silly you are.

Speaker 3 (02:17):
I took care of everything. I have all the paperwork
at her bedside, so it's a done deal. You two
are a couple. Okay, she toats knows.

Speaker 4 (02:25):
Who is this person?

Speaker 3 (02:27):
Well, her name is Barbara, and let's just say You're lucky.
I'm on the job because I did some creative thinking
and I went back to our old roster, and wouldn't
you know, there's one woman, single and available and in
the hospital right now, temporarily.

Speaker 4 (02:45):
What Barbara, did you say in the hospital.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
It's just a little snaffoo. But you heard me when
I just said temporarily, right.

Speaker 4 (02:54):
What are you talking about? What does that mean?

Speaker 3 (02:57):
Technically she's been in a coma for just a few years.

Speaker 4 (03:00):
You've got to be fucking kitting me.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
But signs look good. I saw the monitor and it
was beeping and jumping and skipping, and.

Speaker 4 (03:07):
You've just got great energy. I don't understand what this
means you you've matched me with someone unconscious in the hospital.
What do you do well?

Speaker 3 (03:15):
You could say that, or you could focus on the
word match. Because I found you someone angel.

Speaker 4 (03:21):
It never would have obtained this. Why are you in charge?

Speaker 3 (03:25):
I'm sorry, I'm not really understanding what the problem is here,
because like I'm doing my job. No, you have a girlfriend.

Speaker 4 (03:33):
I this is the weirdest you look. I've been with
you people for months. I've been paying you a fair
amount of money. You found me nobody, and now I'm
getting a call from some rando I've never even met,
telling me that you found me a coma pisient? Literally,
what the are you talking about?

Speaker 3 (03:49):
Okay, it sounds like you're frustrated, and that's on me.
I maybe I did not tell you enough about her.
She does have a lot of hobbies. She loves sleeping,
and she loves like milkshakes and liquid Me.

Speaker 4 (04:00):
That struck you as a good match for me, sleepy
milkshake lady.

Speaker 3 (04:04):
You know what, if she had a dating profile, that
would be kind of a catchy name.

Speaker 5 (04:08):
You're smart.

Speaker 3 (04:09):
We should work together.

Speaker 4 (04:10):
I don't so what am I supposed to call this lady?
What do you want from me? Well?

Speaker 3 (04:16):
I could give you her number, but she's not gonna
pick up a little occupied me. But what I did
is I went ahead and got a greeting card. I
already filled it out in your name, so when.

Speaker 4 (04:25):
She wakes up, no, I may cry no.

Speaker 3 (04:28):
And the fact that she is an older lady at
seventy two years old, oh my goodness, what she's gonna
appreciate it even.

Speaker 4 (04:34):
More how thoughtful you were seven y two? She sure is.

Speaker 3 (04:39):
And once her grandkids leave the room, you two can
have your first day. Why aren't you excited to be
a grandpa?

Speaker 4 (04:45):
Okay, Papa Alan, Okay, I am Papa canceling your service.
Not only that, I will be demanding all the money back.
You idiots have done nothing for me. You've struck me
along for months and months, and now you set me
up with an unconscious senior and you think that's my
bet match.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
Excuse me, after all the trouble I went through helping
your friend Matt to frank you, and this is what
I get. What I should be the one upset because
this is actually Josey for Brick and Jeffrey in the morning.
And I'm very mad at you right now. Oh whoa,
all right, wait a second, bro, I told you it's
a prank, like this is all for fun.

Speaker 5 (05:24):
I yeah, that's that's great, thank you.

Speaker 3 (05:28):
It's cool. You can laugh now. It's just a radio thing.

Speaker 4 (05:31):
Wooh well, radio thing, all right. Well, good for Matt
and good for you that.

Speaker 3 (05:36):
Well, it's supposed to be good for you man and Barbara.
Oh dude, we haven't talked about Barbara. Huh you silver Savage.
I see you over there, old Barb.

Speaker 4 (05:46):
I will tell you I am a week away from
taking that date.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
Bro No, you leave Barbara alone.

Speaker 4 (05:53):
She is a sweet lady.

Speaker 3 (05:54):
Okay is your number ten phone tap of twenty twenty

Speaker 1 (05:59):
Four and Jeffrey in the Morning