July 18, 2025 • 5 mins
What do you do if your significant other loves doing self checkout at the grocery store... But is really bad at it? You tell us, so we can reprimand them in a Phone Tap!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning. And what do
(00:02):
you do if your significant other loves going to the
grocery store and doing self checkout but they're not very
good at it?
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Got Wait, what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (00:11):
We're nine times out of ten they need to call
an attendant over because they mess something up or double
scanned an item, or put their food in the wrong area.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
No, you're laying it's not there.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Well, I'll tell you what you do. You call us
so we can pretend to be the grocery store and
reprimand him for his self checkout shortcomings. That's what we
do in your phone tap right now, it's another.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Hello. Hi, I'm calling from the Customer Experience department looking
for Brett.
Speaker 4 (00:48):
This is Brett Great.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
My name is Meredith Yanks. It's Mac. You Sandy, you
were in one of our stores recently.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Is this a survey?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
No, it's actually.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
About how you use our self checkout stations.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Okay, can you just tell me about that experience?
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Uh? Overall was fine. I had one thing where the
attendant had to come over and help me scan the
avocados chopocounter didn't have a sticker on it, so I
had to get the number from the attendant, but.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Otherwise, okay.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
So are you saying that you would appreciate it if
the farmers just put the barcodes right on as they
grow them in the fields.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
No, just to convenience you.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
I'm not saying that at all. I'm just telling you
about the issue I had because you asked, why are you.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Calling aggressive scanning? Brett? That's why I'm.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
Calling aggressive scanning.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
What one of the attendants noticed that you were aggressively
scanning your produce extra loudly, creating a real disturbance in
our store.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Disturbance that didn't happen.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Oh, it did happen.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
It bothered our other customers greatly. How many times you
were scanning the bananas?
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Why?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Just back and forth and back and forth and back
and forth, lady, I.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Was doing that because it wouldn't scan The attendant told
me to keep doing that.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Let me ask you a question, Brett.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
You like to blame others for your shortcomings, don't you.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
You work at a grocery store, and you're suggesting that
you don't even know me.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I don't work in a grocery store. At this point,
I am the grocery store and I'm just calling to
let you know that we have a problem with you.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
You have a problem with me for doing what I'm
told to do at the self checkout. That's what you're
calling about.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
What I'm calling to tell you is that from now on,
you'll have to stand in line at the regular checkout.
Oh come on, You're banned from all self checkouts for
six months.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Is this a joke?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
No, it's not.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
And I'll have you know my supervisor wanted me to
ban you from the store. I had to talk him down.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
What is going on right now? I'm suspended from self
checkout because of my aggressive scanning.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
And I will say there is a way for you
to cut your suspension in half. You're always allowed to
take our free online course called beep Bag Breathe.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
You know what this is dumb, I've had enough.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
It's a way for people to get through self checkout calmly.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
I am calm. I am perfectly calm when I'm doing
the self checkout. I literally was doing what your employee
told me to do.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
This is crazy interesting.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Were you calm self check out the way you're being
calm with me right now?
Speaker 4 (03:16):
No, I'm not calm with you right now because you're
provoking me. You're being extremely condescending and I didn't do
anything wrong.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
But are you done?
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Yeah? Are you done?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Am I done?
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Trying to help you calmly bag your groceries without scaring
fellow shoppers.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Oh my gosh, I guess I am. I am done?
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Okay, Well, I doubt you can stop me from using
self checkout. I mean, the reasons that you're giving are ridiculous.
I don't even know how you're going to enforce this.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Actually I can now if you do try to sneak back.
Our cameras have been trained to recognize something called wide
stance warriors.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
What does that mean? What are you trying to say?
Speaker 3 (03:50):
It's your signature move legs spread, arms flailing slightly as you.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Jab the scanner.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
I'm not doing that.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Our AI video recognition will pick up on it and
you will be arrested.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
You're trying to erect me for scanning my own freaking groceries.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
We're not threatening you. We're rooting for you.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Bred fuck you can do this.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
We hope you.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Take the necessary steps to get back in that line again,
as long as you can follow directions.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Beep bag breathe.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
You don't have to.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Worry about that. I'm never gonna shop at your stupid
store again.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Oh well, that's funny, Brett, because I don't even work
at that stupid store.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Isn't that weird?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Oh no, yeah, I know you are the store. You
are the store that's really got complex.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Actually I'm not the story either.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I'm actually Brooke from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey
in the Morning, and we're doing a prank phone call
on you.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
You're not from the freaking grocery store.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Oh my, this is a phone tap. Your girlfriend, Ashley
set you up.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
She said that it's hysterical to watch you try to
use self check out because you're terrible at it.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Come on, that's so low. That's so low.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Ah, you were worried about that wide leg stance.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
I know that's you at that store.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Yeah, I mean that does sound like me, but that
beatback boot thing just set me off.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
It's actually beat back breathe, Brett.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Deep back breathe, Yeah, beat back breathe. That's right.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Don't take it out on the produce.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
You can't stop me.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Those poor banana
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Wake up every morning was boom taps weekday mornings on
the twenties, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,
It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning. And what do
(00:02):
you do if your significant other loves going to the
grocery store and doing self checkout but they're not very
good at it?
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Got Wait, what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (00:11):
We're nine times out of ten they need to call
an attendant over because they mess something up or double
scanned an item, or put their food in the wrong area.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
No, you're laying it's not there.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Well, I'll tell you what you do. You call us
so we can pretend to be the grocery store and
reprimand him for his self checkout shortcomings. That's what we
do in your phone tap right now, it's another.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Hello. Hi, I'm calling from the Customer Experience department looking
for Brett.
Speaker 4 (00:48):
This is Brett Great.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
My name is Meredith Yanks. It's Mac. You Sandy, you
were in one of our stores recently.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Is this a survey?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
No, it's actually.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
About how you use our self checkout stations.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Okay, can you just tell me about that experience?
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Uh? Overall was fine. I had one thing where the
attendant had to come over and help me scan the
avocados chopocounter didn't have a sticker on it, so I
had to get the number from the attendant, but.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Otherwise, okay.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
So are you saying that you would appreciate it if
the farmers just put the barcodes right on as they
grow them in the fields.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
No, just to convenience you.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
I'm not saying that at all. I'm just telling you
about the issue I had because you asked, why are you.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Calling aggressive scanning? Brett? That's why I'm.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
Calling aggressive scanning.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
What one of the attendants noticed that you were aggressively
scanning your produce extra loudly, creating a real disturbance in
our store.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Disturbance that didn't happen.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Oh, it did happen.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
It bothered our other customers greatly. How many times you
were scanning the bananas?
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Why?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Just back and forth and back and forth and back
and forth, lady, I.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Was doing that because it wouldn't scan The attendant told
me to keep doing that.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Let me ask you a question, Brett.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
You like to blame others for your shortcomings, don't you.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
You work at a grocery store, and you're suggesting that
you don't even know me.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I don't work in a grocery store. At this point,
I am the grocery store and I'm just calling to
let you know that we have a problem with you.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
You have a problem with me for doing what I'm
told to do at the self checkout. That's what you're
calling about.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
What I'm calling to tell you is that from now on,
you'll have to stand in line at the regular checkout.
Oh come on, You're banned from all self checkouts for
six months.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Is this a joke?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
No, it's not.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
And I'll have you know my supervisor wanted me to
ban you from the store. I had to talk him down.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
What is going on right now? I'm suspended from self
checkout because of my aggressive scanning.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
And I will say there is a way for you
to cut your suspension in half. You're always allowed to
take our free online course called beep Bag Breathe.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
You know what this is dumb, I've had enough.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
It's a way for people to get through self checkout calmly.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
I am calm. I am perfectly calm when I'm doing
the self checkout. I literally was doing what your employee
told me to do.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
This is crazy interesting.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Were you calm self check out the way you're being
calm with me right now?
Speaker 4 (03:16):
No, I'm not calm with you right now because you're
provoking me. You're being extremely condescending and I didn't do
anything wrong.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
But are you done?
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Yeah? Are you done?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Am I done?
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Trying to help you calmly bag your groceries without scaring
fellow shoppers.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Oh my gosh, I guess I am. I am done?
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Okay, Well, I doubt you can stop me from using
self checkout. I mean, the reasons that you're giving are ridiculous.
I don't even know how you're going to enforce this.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Actually I can now if you do try to sneak back.
Our cameras have been trained to recognize something called wide
stance warriors.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
What does that mean? What are you trying to say?
Speaker 3 (03:50):
It's your signature move legs spread, arms flailing slightly as you.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Jab the scanner.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
I'm not doing that.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Our AI video recognition will pick up on it and
you will be arrested.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
You're trying to erect me for scanning my own freaking groceries.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
We're not threatening you. We're rooting for you.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Bred fuck you can do this.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
We hope you.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Take the necessary steps to get back in that line again,
as long as you can follow directions.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Beep bag breathe.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
You don't have to.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Worry about that. I'm never gonna shop at your stupid
store again.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Oh well, that's funny, Brett, because I don't even work
at that stupid store.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Isn't that weird?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Oh no, yeah, I know you are the store. You
are the store that's really got complex.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Actually I'm not the story either.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I'm actually Brooke from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey
in the Morning, and we're doing a prank phone call
on you.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
You're not from the freaking grocery store.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Oh my, this is a phone tap. Your girlfriend, Ashley
set you up.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
She said that it's hysterical to watch you try to
use self check out because you're terrible at it.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Come on, that's so low. That's so low.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Ah, you were worried about that wide leg stance.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
I know that's you at that store.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Yeah, I mean that does sound like me, but that
beatback boot thing just set me off.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
It's actually beat back breathe, Brett.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Deep back breathe, Yeah, beat back breathe. That's right.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Don't take it out on the produce.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
You can't stop me.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Those poor banana
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Wake up every morning was boom taps weekday mornings on
the twenties, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,
Hosts And Creators
Alexis Fuller
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Jose Bolanos
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