Phone Tap: First Time First Class

Today’s Phone Tap victim just booked his FIRST EVER international flight, so before he flies we’re offering him some of the most ELITE accommodations to ever grace the skies!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning time for your
prank call. And today we speak to a guy who
just booked his very first international flight. Oh he he's
never been out of the country before, does not know
what to expect. Man, so exciting. Yeah, he's about to learn,
thanks to his wife who set him up for this,
that when you fly first class international, things are very different.

(00:24):
Oh my god, he's going to ruin himself forever. He's
either gonna love it or really love it. In your
phone tap right now. Hello, good morning. Am I speaking
with a mister Jason.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
Yeah? Is he hi Jason.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
My name is Freddy. I'm calling from Airlines Customer Service.
Oh sure, Hi, Hi, you're taking a flight with us
this Saturday, NonStop to London.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Hi. I am yet great.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
Now it says you're flying first class, but you haven't
filled out any of the passenger preference selections off our.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
App Oh I didn't know there were such things.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Oh you didn't.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
Yeah, no, I never flied internationally, so it's like it's
kind of my first time. Oh okay.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
In that case, I'm just going to walk you through
this over the phone, if that's okay.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
Yeah, I got a couple of minutes.

Speaker 1 (01:19):
Perfect, so I'll just dive right into it. Number one,
for your pre flight pill, would you prefer ambient zoloft
or something harder.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
I didn't really give up drugs on flights.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
Only to our first class clientele. I mean, this is
an international first class flight, Sir. You spend a lot
of money.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
I shouldn't know this was a thing.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
Oh it is. I mean, if you wanted me to
slap you in the face, I would do it because
you are a first class customer and we value your business.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
I don't need to be slapped in the face.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
So no, no, you would slap me, I would take
the slapping. I guess I'm good when I think about it.
No one's ever asked me to slap them pre flight before,
but if they did, I would.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
Yeah, no slapping, no drugs.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
Oh okay, well great in that case, let's proceed as
it pertains to your in flight meal. Would you care
to have normal, kosher or shaman blessed?

Speaker 2 (02:22):
What's shaman blessed?

Speaker 1 (02:23):
We have a spiritual guide from Northeast Asia bless certain meals.
Before they enter the plane. He is in a transcendent state,
aligning his chakras to Mother Earth to give you the
most perfectly balanced meal.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
I mean, what the heck? It is my first international flight,
right sure, Shaman blessed?

Speaker 1 (02:41):
Okay? Perfect with that selection. There is a chance he
may eat some of your meal.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
He's going to eat some of the meal.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
Maybe if he's hungry, but it doesn't take the blessing away.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
Yeah. No, I don't want my meal to be like.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Oh eaten Okay, Well, how plebeian of you. A lot
of our first class passengers say that, but I'll mark
you down normal.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
Is this some type of jokes? I've never heard of
anything like this, Like a lot of your first class
options are like kind of out there.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
You're the one who's never been on an international flight before.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
That's what you've told me, right, But I'm like an
educated adult. I think I would have heard of this.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
Well, sir, we try not to advertise this to all
the normies and economy, you understand. So anyway, back to
your preferences, would you prefer normal toilet seat, heated toilet seat,
or shaman blessed.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
I don't even know what to say to that.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
Honestly, I don't know a lot about the spirituality behind it.
But from my understanding, that's where he blesses the meals.
What So it's like a it's a two for one blessing, So.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
He blesses the meal and the toilet.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, while he's on it, Like, why why are you
offering this, sir? Like I've said, it's an international flight,
so legally we can't do any of these things until
we're over nomadic airspace where certain American laws don't apply.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
This is this is just weird and not. I don't
I don't want to do anything shaman blessed or I
don't want my food near the toilet. I don't want
to do that.

Speaker 1 (04:10):
No, did note. I'm gonna put that down for you,
and uh almost done here. We need to discuss your
in flight entertainment again.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
Nothing shaman blessed.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
No, of course, there's no shaman involved in the entertainment.
That's kind of a ridiculous question on your part.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
It's really not, because you've offered it with every other thing, sir.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
I'm running short on time here, so if I could
just ask you the question, would you prefer regular movies
adult content only or super adult content?

Speaker 2 (04:39):
What the hell is super adult? Oh?

Speaker 1 (04:41):
So you're interested?

Speaker 2 (04:43):
No, I just never heard of that.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
I just know you must have headphones for the super
adult content and earmuffs covering the headphones because it gets
pretty loud.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
Do you not understand that my wife is on the
flight with me. This is like an anniversary Oh.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
Okay, so maybe more of an adult plus experience. What
when you share headphones, which unfortunately are shaman blessed.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
Okay you said that wasn't involved in this. There's no
more shaman blessed thing.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Not with the entertainment, but with the headphones.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
Yes. Oh and what he blessed them on the toilet?

Speaker 1 (05:12):
Well that I can't speak to, but I do know
the shaman bless This prank phone call that we're doing
on the radio right now, well set up by your
wife of course, because she listens to our radio show.
What you picking up on this? Because my name is
jeff oh yea oh man, god, yeah, man, I'm not
from the airline. I'm from brook and Jeffrey. In the morning,

(05:33):
your wife wanted us to do a phone tap on you.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
She told us that you've never traveled international before. And
I didn't even get to tell you that as a
first class passenger, you get to fly the plane for
ten whole minutes. Oh my god, how cool is that.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
As long as it's the Shannon Meals, I'm really looking
forward to it. The Weeke Up every morning was phone
taps weekday mornings on the twenties, Brook and Jeffrey in
the morning.