Phone Tap: Ice Machine Madness

Nobody likes surprise fees. So in today’s Phone Tap Brooke calls a guy to say she's now charging him extra for taking ice from his work fridge!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Does anyone like taxes?

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Say, taxes, I.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
Like the things they pay for, you know, like it's
nice to have a good bridge or a road.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
The taxes. It's the most frustrating thing when you look
at your weekly paycheck and you see, wait, a bunch
of money was taken out by taxes.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
Doesn't even know what you're paying for, no idea.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
So we thought, okay, what if we took even more
out of a guy's paycheck by hitting him with a
work fine. That's so ridiculous. There's no way it could
be real. And you're going to hear it in your phone.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
Tap right now another Hello, Hi, Ronnie?

Speaker 4 (00:52):
Uh yes, who is this?

Speaker 3 (00:55):
This is Claire LaGrue calling from Corporate Human Resources.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
Okay, Hi Claire, how are you today? Ronnie?

Speaker 4 (01:06):
You know it's been a pretty solid day.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
Okay, that's enough, that's all I need.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
Yeah, I'm sorry, what do I know you?

Speaker 2 (01:15):
We haven't met. I'm on the other coast.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
That's why my voice might sound far off?

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Is that an echo? Echo echo, just a little coast
to coast humor? Ronnie?

Speaker 4 (01:28):
Yeah, I'm sorry. What's what's the reason for the call?

Speaker 3 (01:31):
All right, I'm calling to let you know that we
have to dock your check for this upcoming pay period
by one hundred and fifty dollars.

Speaker 4 (01:38):
Wait what?

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:42):
Why are you guys docking my pay one hundred and
fifty dollars? Can you help me understand that?

Speaker 2 (01:46):
Oh? Absolutely, I can see.

Speaker 3 (01:49):
We recently installed security cameras in the break room. So
what so we notice you fill a giant Stanley cup
with ice at least five times a.

Speaker 4 (01:59):
Day, So you guys are charging me for ice?

Speaker 2 (02:02):
No, that would be ridiculous in petty.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
We're not monsters, so okay, but help me understand what
the hell is one hundred and fifty dollars for that?

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Oh it's for the ice compressor burnout.

Speaker 4 (02:15):
Wait that you can't put that on me. That's not
my fault.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
The machine broke earlier today, and according to our records,
your over usage played a large part in that.

Speaker 4 (02:25):
No. No, no, yes.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yes, so you will be paying the technician fee.

Speaker 4 (02:31):
The hell I will? You guys are blaming me for
breaking the ice machine. I didn't break it, I just
used it.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
We're not blaming you.

Speaker 4 (02:40):
Yes, you are. You're complete. What are you talking about?

Speaker 2 (02:43):
No?

Speaker 3 (02:43):
No, no, see, we're assigning responsibility to you forbility that
is something we wish our employees would do on their own. Well,
sometimes I have to step in, like now.

Speaker 4 (02:55):
That is not fair one hundred and fifty bucks. This
is a company of ice machine, Ronnie.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
May I remind you the machine was designed for reasonable
communal cooling, not for somebody who seems like they're running
a commercial snow cone.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
Stand.

Speaker 4 (03:09):
What is that supposed to me?

Speaker 2 (03:11):
What it means is.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
We are willing to take it out of your paycheck
in installments.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
If that helps that. No way, that's the language.

Speaker 3 (03:20):
Okay, But since it's your first offense, I think this
is gonna make you happy. I'm going to wave the
additional fifty dollars ice misuse processing fee.

Speaker 4 (03:29):
Oh how gracious of you to have misused to wave
the misuse of icya.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
You are welcome.

Speaker 4 (03:36):
I was being sarcastic.

Speaker 3 (03:38):
Okay, Well, regardless, I still want to say thank you.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
I appreciate you.

Speaker 4 (03:43):
I don't appreciate you at all. What is this?

Speaker 2 (03:46):
It's give and take here.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
This is how relationships work, and we are always willing
to develop them at our company.

Speaker 4 (03:53):
You are charging me for I is not how relationships work.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Right.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
In relationships, it is about saying you're sorry, you mess up.
So that's why I'm asking you to also write an
apology letter by hand.

Speaker 4 (04:06):
Are you out of your mind?

Speaker 2 (04:08):
No, it's a lot more meaningful than just an email.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
And then we can post it in the break room
so all your coworkers know who's responsible for the last time.

Speaker 4 (04:17):
It's not just me that uses it, it's everyone.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, especially your friend Keith. Huh.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
He loves going to the ice machine with you getting
a little sip of water.

Speaker 4 (04:28):
If anybody uses it more than me, it's teeth.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
Oh, you're just gonna throw him under the bus like that.

Speaker 4 (04:33):
Huh. Yes, you're trying to charge me one hundred and
fifty dollars.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
Why don't we just charge Keith one hundred and fifty
dollars for this prank phone call?

Speaker 4 (04:41):
I mean you may as well charge him one hundred
and fifty dollars.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Yeah, because it's a it's a prank phone call. I'm
just gonna say that part again.

Speaker 4 (04:52):
Wait is this a joke?

Speaker 3 (04:55):
Yeah, this is actually Bride from the radio show Brook
and Jeffrey in the Morning.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
We're doing a phone tap on you and your buddy Keith.
Set you up.

Speaker 4 (05:03):
Oh my god, are kidding me?

Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (05:09):
Absolutely, He said, you just got this giant Stanley Cup
and all you do is fill it up with ice
all day long.

Speaker 4 (05:16):
I mean he's not lying. It is big.

Speaker 3 (05:19):
Yeah, every man says that size matters.

Speaker 4 (05:26):
The week up.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
Every morning was funk Tabs weekday mornings on the twenties,
Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning