Phone Tap: Rhinoplasty In Peace

Today’s Phone Tap victim is a makeup artist looking to pick up extra work, so we’re calling from a FUNERAL HOME and we’ve got more work for her than she can handle in 100 lifetimes!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's time for your phone tap. And normally we don't
get juicy opportunities like this. We love juicy, we just don't.
But when we got an email from a woman saying
her sister works as a makeup artist and things have
been a little slow lately, so she took a tempt
job over at a funeral home, we knew we could
not resist. Apparently she's never done makeup for the deceased

(00:21):
or even been in a funeral home before, so her
new employer is about to enlighten her on what her
new responsibilities are going to be once she starts. It's
your phone tap right now.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Hello?

Speaker 1 (00:39):
Hi, is this Tiffany?

Speaker 2 (00:42):
Yes, she's calling.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Hey, this is Harry. Harry Bigsby from jin Son's Funeral Home.
Oh Hi, I heard you're going to be doing some
work for us here.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
Uh huh yeah, I did talk to my recruiter about
maybe working in funeral home.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
So yeah, yeah, exactly, you know, just doing makeup in
general aesthetic stuff. So when can you start? Because we
are backed up?

Speaker 2 (01:09):
I guess next Monday would be the earliest I could do.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
Perfect and uh, just curious, have you ever blushed a
body before?

Speaker 2 (01:19):
Excuse me?

Speaker 1 (01:20):
Blushed a body funeral touch up, coulda or come to
life makeover? Choosing normal insider terms.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yeah, no, I'm not familiar with those terms. I've actually
only done makeup on real people before.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
Well, yeah, that's fine. It's really not that hard, and
they move around a lot less. Oh so that makes
your job easier, right, Okay, that was a joke, the
funeral joke for you. Okay, they're not moving because because they're.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
Dead, right right, yeah, so I can be ready Monday.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
Perfect. And we've also started a new thing here just
a couple of months ago, where the deceased are now
receiving rhinoplasty. What you know those jobs, ren Aplusty, Yeah, I.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
Know, yeah, I know what that is. Oh good, Okay, okay,
but you're saying dead people are getting them exactly why?

Speaker 1 (02:20):
Lots of reasons, mostly for the viewing ceremony. A lot
of gen zers now they want to take selfies and
they want pop Pop to look good for them. So
that's where you come in.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
No, I don't think that's where I come in. I
just do the makeup part.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
Yes, you're in charge of the makeup, but you'll also
be in charge of that part.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
As well, that wasn't on the list of requirements that
I talked to my recruiter about.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
Oh well, it's probably because it's the new thing that
we're doing, so it wasn't on the job listening, Okay,
but you'll be great.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
I don't have a medical license. I'm not a doctor.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
I cannot do You don't need you don't need a
medical license or anything. I mean, they're they're deceased. So yeah,
it's not a life or death situation.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
It's still a noose job on a human being. I've
never done that.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
Listen, we could do that. We have a YouTube video.
So if you just bring your phone into work with you,
get that QR code and just follow along. It's literally
like putting together an Ikea bench.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
No simple, I'm sorry, No, you.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
Don't even need a little Alan wrench to pull it off.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
Why would anybody do this?

Speaker 1 (03:30):
Why would anybody do anything nowadays? Have you looked at
the state of the world.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
But it's crazy, Okay, having a loved one, a dead
loved one getting a nose job. I mean that just
doesn't sound right.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
It may not sound right, but it is profitable. So
you and I are going to make a lot of
money on this.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
Listen. I don't know if I can do this.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
Wait, what I do need money?

Speaker 2 (03:57):
I do need money.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
Oh okay, so you want to make some serious money.
We've got a body coming in tomorrow night that requested
a boob job. You can help him go from a
medium B to a full D.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
That's really happening.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
Hey, listen. If that's too much for you, I get it.
It's your first week. You can just stick to lip fillers.
What I can even show you our photo gallery called
the Dead Do Duck Face.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
This is just not at all what I was expecting.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
Huh. That's interesting because your sister Josie said you were
fully up for doing something like this right after we
pranked you on the radio.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
Oh my god, was like freaking my mind. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Obviously my name is jeff I've never work at the
funeral home. We're on a radio store right now called
Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning, and Josie set you
up for a phone tapp.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
Oh god, that was so crazy.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
I'm just curious, Like, what was the worst part. I mean,
it all sounded pretty good to me. H. They don't
move much. All right, Well, I'll see you at the
Morgue early Monday morning. No, you won't bring your Alan wrench.
Let's do this week of every morning with boone tabs

(05:17):
weekday mornings on the twenties, Brooke and Jeffrey in the
morning