Phone Tap: Turd Track Your Dog

Today’s Phone Tap victim is worried her apartment building is trying to get her in trouble for not picking up her dog’s poop, but we actually have a very enticing financial offer instead… if only she’ll play it cool!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today, we call a woman who the other night took
her dog outside of her apartment.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
To use the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Sure enough, she forgot to bring a doggie bag with her,
so dog went number two and she just left.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
She did.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
She came back the next morning and it was gone.
She told her brother she's worried because other people in
the building have been fined for stuff.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
Like this before.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Luckily, her brother snitched to us, and we have a
creative way of getting her to admit it. In your
phone tap right now, it's a hello, Hey, I think
I live in the apartment next door to yours. Okay, sorry,

(00:47):
I got your number from our landlord because you have
a dog, right.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
Who wants to know, like, what is this about?

Speaker 1 (00:55):
Well, the other night a person came by with their
dog and it went number two on the public lawn
where the signs say don't let your dog go to
the bathroom here.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
You know what I'm saying about.

Speaker 3 (01:08):
I mean, I'm familiar with the sign, yeah, and I
know what that's not allowed for sure?

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
Well, according to the footage, the dog looks like a
Chihuahua kind of a mix there.

Speaker 3 (01:19):
I mean, there's a few tu wahas on the property.
So what are you suggesting?

Speaker 1 (01:24):
Well, I showed it to other people too, and they
said the dog looks like yours.

Speaker 3 (01:28):
I mean, I don't really like being called and just
accused of not picking up my dog. It's like that's
a big accusation.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
And sure, I hear you not answering the question. We
could just get back to that was that your dog?

Speaker 3 (01:44):
I mean, until I see the video, I'm not going
to say that it was my dog or not, because I.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Know, like if it wasn't your dog, you would probably
just say no, that wasn't my dog.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
I mean, I'm pretty sure I said that. I'm not
gonna now.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
You gave me like a very long, long winded explanation
for why you weren't willing to commit yes or no
until you see the footage.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
And I mean that's a lot, right.

Speaker 3 (02:08):
Are we done with this conversation?

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Well, I guess almost. I mean, let me just tell
you this. I do have a friend of mine who
works over at turd Track.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Where turd Track.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
It's a database that matches pet's poop to the animal that.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
It came from. I stop it. I'm serious. It's a
real thing.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
Okay, So look, no big deal, you know, I'm just
gonna pop by your place a little bit later and
have your dog poop into a bowl for me.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
You're gonna what kind of a mean? I just goes
to somebody's house and picks up their dogs poop.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
No, I'm not doing it for me. It's for turd track.
I mean, how else am I going to get his
digestive footprint for forensic analysis?

Speaker 3 (02:49):
This is out of absolutely not okay.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
So you're saying no to turd.

Speaker 3 (02:54):
Track, that's right, absolutely not no.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
To pooping in a bowl, No.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
To pooping in a exactly what I said. Thank you?

Speaker 2 (03:02):
Fine, Well, honestly, it's too bad. It is too bad.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
It's too bad that you've wasted all of my time
right now.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
No, that's not what I ellen. That's not what I meant.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
It's just it's too bad because the excrement that I
found on the lawn is actually top quality. What and
I was hoping to make your dog an offer if
it did.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
Belong to him.

Speaker 3 (03:21):
What is going? What? Oh?

Speaker 1 (03:24):
My god?

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Ill to tell you.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
I partner with a company, it's called Eco Gold Fertilizer,
and we look all over the place for the top
quality excrement and that night, the droppings that were left
on the lawn. It was like pristine chef's kiss quality stuff.
What are you talking about?

Speaker 3 (03:46):
I thought you were calling because I was in trouble
and I like to see the footage of my dog
because it could be my dog.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
What kind of ah? Oh, now it might be your dog.

Speaker 3 (03:58):
You're saying, my dog's fool could be worth an lout
of money and my dog is in excellent shape. Oh
it's so what like, what's the offer?

Speaker 1 (04:07):
I can't give you like an official number at this
point because we haven't had a match yet.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
We'd have to go back to turn track.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
Then with the turn track, if it did come back
as a match for your dog, you could be making
upwards of ten grand a month.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
All right, listen, listen, listen, listen.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
What let's just let's save the time. I thought I
was in trouble. It was me. It was me a
million percent. That is my dog. Nugget.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
That is nugget, nugg Ou nuggets, Nuggets nugget.

Speaker 3 (04:43):
Oh dude, it's perfect nuggets. I feel so bad. I
had I left my bags.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
At home bars.

Speaker 3 (04:50):
I was gonna pick it up, like I wasn't just
gonna leave it there like, but by the time I
went to pick it.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
Up, it was gone.

Speaker 3 (04:55):
They sign you here, you get in trouble.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
That's a great story. Well put it on the back
of the bag.

Speaker 3 (05:01):
Where do okay, where do I sign? How do we
get the how do we get this going to me?

Speaker 1 (05:06):
So I already actually sent a copy of the contract
to your brother John.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
Wait, he'll probably give that to you after we're done
doing this prank. Phone call on. Yes, Oh my god,
you're actually on the radio right now. My name is
jeff from brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. John sets
you up for a phone tap.

Speaker 3 (05:28):
Oh my god, listen, my head was sitting.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
I didn't know if I was in drum.

Speaker 3 (05:34):
I was like, oh my god, I'm gotta be rich.
I can't wait to pay off these credit cards.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
So wait, if I stop by your apartment later, is
your dog good to go in a bowl?

Speaker 3 (05:42):
Are you kidding me? For ten thousand dollars, you can
come over and he poop in a hat.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
Wake Up.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
Every morning was phone taps weekday mornings on the twenties
Brooking Jeffrey in the Morning