June 8, 2025 • 17 mins
We've got a special new episode you this weekend!
Normally on this show we try to HELP make a romantic connection but coming in today’s Textual Healing one listener wants us to make it clear she wants NOTHING to do with a guy that’s supposed to come over to her house later!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, no Sunday scaries when you got a full new
podcast to listen to, right, none of that.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Yeah, it's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning and you
have found the Second Date Update podcast. And today on Sundays,
we always like to feature a new segment that we've
done during the week.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
And this one is textual healing.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Yeah, that's where somebody may need our help texting someone
for whatever reason, and we step in.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
You know, those texts can be hard, especially when.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
They're with your ex, which is today, Yes, which is today.
But before we get to today, what's a fun comment
for today?
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Audrey said, so happy I got recommended your podcast. I
watched The Conjuring recently and haven't been able to sleep
a relevant But anyways, I play your podcast and it
always makes me crack up.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Yeah, that's scary, it is.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I won't watch it. I stopped watching scary movies when
I live by myself. Oh see, I couldn't do it again.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
After that.
Speaker 5 (00:47):
I never watched scary movies. And the first one that
I like, Okay, I'm gonna do it. Let's watch this one.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Maybe we should stop talking about it, because remember.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
She gotjuring texting an X I don't know if it's
a scary.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
We're about to find out. A new episode starts right now.
Speaker 6 (01:04):
On this show, we're always trying to get people together,
whether it's two of our listeners for a second date yeh,
or hooking up our digital producer Jake with Brook's mom.
We are constantly trying to make love happen. Doesn't mean anything, Okay,
it's about love Brook, and it takes a lot of
work doing it every single day.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 6 (01:26):
That's why. Thank god, we have a woman on the
phone who wants us to do the exact opposite.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Oh, she needs.
Speaker 6 (01:32):
To make it clear no love will happen between her
and one dude who's coming over to her place later,
and this particular situation is extremely awkward for her. You'll
understand why she needs our help when we do some
textual healing. Coming up next text you will healing textual.
(02:00):
Most people who need help texting are ninety six year
old grandmas who can't figure out which side of the
iPhone is the touch part. But occasionally regular folks need
assistance with texting too, when they're in an awkward predicament
and they aren't sure what to write to.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
One of our ninety five year old listeners.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Yeah, might be, it might be.
Speaker 6 (02:22):
That's the whole reason we created this segment, Textual Healing,
where we assist listeners of all ages, grandmas to newborns,
sweet and we help them craft the perfect message. And
who's emailed the show today requesting our textual expertise or expertise.
Her name is Brianna. Brianna, welcome to the show.
Speaker 7 (02:42):
Hi, thank you. I appreciate you taking my call.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
You're welcome, Brianna, and we're going to be taking your text.
Speaker 6 (02:48):
Yeah possible.
Speaker 7 (02:49):
Oh I see what you did.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Yeah, I'm really smart. We're really the smartest guy on
the show.
Speaker 6 (02:55):
So Brianna, tell us about what's your awkward situation and
why do you need our help?
Speaker 7 (03:01):
So I just don't know what you're say and I'm
hoping you guys can help me. So I had a
guy over for a date. That's not the problem.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
That is a good thing to say our show, Like,
let me.
Speaker 7 (03:11):
Just start that right there. But he found a gold
chain in one of my bathroom drawers. It's a long story,
but I look at it and I realized it's my
ex boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Oh yeah, dude, I can't believe your date was snooping
in your bathroom drawers.
Speaker 7 (03:25):
Well, no, I asked him to get something out from me.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Oh, okay, okay, is it expensive gold chains? I wouldn't
get rid of it either, how thick it like a.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
Thin one or what?
Speaker 7 (03:33):
Well, it's it's real gold, Like it's real. But it's
something I would have thrown out, except that his grandmother
gave it to him, like it's got sentimental values.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
To gosh, you got to give it back to him.
Speaker 7 (03:42):
I know. But well, see now you're kind of getting
to exactly my problem because I texted him and I said, hey,
if I entertained, you want to come grab it? And
he sends me back this text and he's like, oh,
sure you did. You can just say you want some
of this with like one of those little squirky winky Oh.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
I see why it's your ex Yeah.
Speaker 6 (04:00):
But in his defense, you did say you want to
come over and grab it. That can be interpreted a
lot of different ways. I'm just saying, yeah.
Speaker 7 (04:07):
I did definitely set myself up for that one. And
part of how I set myself up for it was
that two months ago his AirPods were still here. We
work up about three months ago, and after about a
month I found it air pods and I texted him
to stop buy and grab him like a the same
kind of thing, and he came over and we ended
up hooking up.
Speaker 6 (04:22):
Yeah, oh okay, so there's precedence for this now.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I mean, unfortunately is going to come over. It's just
good bound to happen.
Speaker 6 (04:31):
Okay, keeping X is away from Brooks House, it's just
definitely going to happen.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I mean, that's why you got to meet in a
place like a parking lot or well parking.
Speaker 6 (04:40):
That's parking lot with a gorgeous view the city.
Speaker 7 (04:45):
Yeah. So I just I need to be able to
text him in a way that he knows is like, no,
that's not what I want. I just want you to
get your stuff, okay, And he's coming over at sixth tonight,
Like he's already said straight up that he's coming over.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I understand why his response was the grab it saying
then yeah it makes sense now.
Speaker 6 (05:01):
Yeah, he's thinking that you're trying to set it up again.
But can't you just tell him like no, I'm just
going to leave it under my doormat, I'll be like
away from home.
Speaker 7 (05:09):
I could, but I just don't wanted to get stolen because,
like I said, his grandmother gave it time. So that's
why I didn't just put it in the mail.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Can I ask, yeah, is there any part of you
that kinda wants to hook up with it when he
comes over?
Speaker 7 (05:22):
No?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Just jacket?
Speaker 6 (05:24):
Okay, No, I.
Speaker 7 (05:28):
Mean that's a fair question. But yeah, if you've been
there the last time, you would have understood why I did. Not.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Like what was the last thing that was said between
you two.
Speaker 7 (05:35):
The last thing was that he was going to come
over at sixth and he said I'm going to give
you something of mine too.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 7 (05:42):
Yeah, it was kind of gross.
Speaker 6 (05:43):
And yeah, okay, so the wheels are already in motion.
You're trying to make it really really clear to him
that nothing is going to happen, and there's no lingering.
Speaker 7 (05:55):
Feelings there right like, you're not coming inside. I'm just
going to hand it to you at the door. Peace out,
go have a great life.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
It should be easy.
Speaker 5 (06:01):
What you should just be able to say, Hi, I
don't have a lot of time.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
I think you need more than that. I think you
need to say i'm short on time. I've got a
date at six thirty.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Yeah, boyfriend already?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Right then?
Speaker 7 (06:16):
Does that not make me kind of sound like a why.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
Do you care?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
It's your ex? You know?
Speaker 3 (06:20):
You're right, You're right.
Speaker 6 (06:21):
It sounds like you're trying to make him jealous a.
Speaker 7 (06:23):
Little bit like that's what I'm afraid of.
Speaker 5 (06:25):
Yeah, okay, can you say I poop my pants?
Speaker 4 (06:31):
I have to change?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
No, I would.
Speaker 7 (06:32):
Probably take care of it.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
Yeah, let's hope he doesn't have a rebuttal for that.
Speaker 6 (06:36):
Can you be like really direct and say I think
you're reading too far into this?
Speaker 7 (06:41):
I mean, yeah, just be like you don't flatter yourself?
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yeah, or you really want him to leave you alone?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
You say, well, last time was pretty disappointing, so I
don't want to go down that road again.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Honestly, that's how my friends text their X like every
time was disappointing, and that would not.
Speaker 7 (06:58):
Be a lie.
Speaker 6 (06:59):
So so let's let's be direct. Sprinkle a little bit
of honesty in there too, And Okay, so you're.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Bad in bed?
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Yeah, he's probably take it as a joke.
Speaker 7 (07:11):
Well, I don't wan him to take it as a
personal challenge to.
Speaker 6 (07:14):
Be like a huh, we probably should sprinkle a little
bit of humor in there too, just to lighten the blow.
So if you're like, well, slow down, Romeo, last time
didn't go so well, you're reading too far into this, okay.
Speaker 7 (07:27):
Or I just want to hand it off at the door,
like that's it.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
About last time didn't leave me wanting more? We're good.
Speaker 7 (07:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
I still feel like if you put yourself in a
short time window, like I only have two minutes, you know,
something like that got.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
A helper now.
Speaker 7 (07:44):
I think it might because I didn't say so. He
was like, I'm coming over tomorrow at six, Like I
didn't invite him over.
Speaker 6 (07:50):
Okay, you can say I like the one that Brookes
said last time didn't leave me? What did you say?
Speaker 1 (07:55):
I said, last time didn't leave me wanting Moore?
Speaker 6 (07:57):
Yeah, we're good. We're good.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I feel like this is going to be really simple.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
He should read that and go, oh okay, no worries.
Speaker 6 (08:06):
See at six did you send it?
Speaker 7 (08:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Okay, this may be the most boring.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
UH want to right back, and he says, okay, it's like.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
I have a great day. Okay.
Speaker 6 (08:22):
I mean that would be the smoothest textual healing we
ever did. But I can't believe I'm hoping for boring
as we continue, but if he responds to that when
we continue textual healing right after this hold on, we're
just showing us we're in the middle of textual healing
with our listener Brianna, who recently found her ex boyfriend's
(08:44):
gold chain in her bathroom drawer, and the chain has
sentimental value because his grandma gifted it to him, so
she can't just toss it out or pawn it on
eBay like most of us would.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
And she's actually a really nice person. Yeah, I mean,
she's being much kinder your X and I would have.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Ever.
Speaker 6 (09:01):
Yeah, oh, what would you do, bro, because you said
you would hook up with him?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Well, I mean.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
That could also be punishment.
Speaker 6 (09:10):
But when she texted him to come by and get
his chain, the X assumed that was an invitation to
exchange more than just jewelry.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Well, because of what happened last time.
Speaker 6 (09:20):
He stopped by, because last time he forgot his AirPods
or something and they ended up hooking up. So he
is coming by later today, which is why Brianna needs
help making it clear there will be no romance happening,
not tonight, not the next night, not ever.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
She's willing to give him the gold chain, but just
to hand off.
Speaker 6 (09:38):
Yes, so Brooke came up with the text idea of
sending him Honestly, last time didn't exactly leave me wanting more.
We're good. Just get the chain, I get.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
I still love it is it is. It's harsh now.
Speaker 6 (09:54):
That was the goal. Yeah, yeah, Brianna. Has your ex
responded to that?
Speaker 7 (09:59):
Yeah? He did? He did.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Oh gosh, I don't have a smile in your voice.
Speaker 7 (10:03):
Yeah, he wrote, ha ha ha. Well I'm with someone
you know anyway, and she doesn't have any complaints.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
You both went in that sense.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
There you go. So he's not somebody else.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
Congratulate him and say I'll see it.
Speaker 6 (10:16):
And really he's trying to make her jealous by pointing
out that he has a new girl.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
It didn't work on us, though, but it doesn't work
on her because.
Speaker 6 (10:23):
No, I'm just pointing out, like the point of his
the ex boyfriend is trying to push back on you.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Clearly, does that upset you that he's with somebody else?
Speaker 7 (10:31):
No, I just look, I just texted him back real
quick because he's just acting like a child.
Speaker 6 (10:37):
But we're supposed to craft one together.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
To text back to acting like a child. He was
just telling you that he's in a relationship.
Speaker 7 (10:44):
Well, I think you're right though, I think he was
just trying to make me jealous.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Pretend it's real.
Speaker 6 (10:49):
What do you what did you write?
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (10:51):
No, I just wrote where did you find her? The
animal shelter?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Like what.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
That's really?
Speaker 6 (10:59):
I mean it is kind of fun, but it's.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Spirally.
Speaker 6 (11:04):
Yeah, we don't want to get like into a fight
with him, right, you.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Kind of escalated this.
Speaker 7 (11:08):
I didn't escalated. No, no, no, no, no, I didn't escalate.
Does he escalated by bringing up some girl?
Speaker 6 (11:13):
And actually, if we really want to point fingers, brook
is the one who came up with the first text,
and it was kind of sassy and that started off
this whole chain.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
New girlfriend escalated blame.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
I think the more we get into this, the more
I'm started to feel that you still have feelings.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
You guys need closure.
Speaker 6 (11:31):
Brooks projecting again.
Speaker 7 (11:32):
I say, I just say no, no, no, no, no, no no, no,
miss brook No, I do not want to get back
together with him. I do not have feelings for him.
That is that is a big fat no.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Okay, I told you we should have said the fake
boyfriend thing first, he beat us to it.
Speaker 6 (11:49):
Now you've already sent the animal shelter comment? Has he
responded back?
Speaker 7 (11:53):
He did, Oh.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
God, please don't be something bad.
Speaker 6 (11:56):
What did he say?
Speaker 7 (11:57):
It's not bad, it's just stupid. It's like, if somebody
sounds jealous, I can bring her with me and we
can just act like adults and I get my necklace.
I mean.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Playing the mature card, right, That's what your guys fights
were like when you were dating.
Speaker 6 (12:14):
Yeah, who's the anyone? And who's so mature to bring
your new girlfriend to your ex girlfriend's apartment and parade
her in front of you?
Speaker 4 (12:21):
I'm mature. Burn Yeah, it's like a.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Sarcastic Yeah, totally.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
Jealous of his I love this too much.
Speaker 6 (12:33):
Okay, so what do we right back to respond to
that with?
Speaker 7 (12:37):
Actually already texted him.
Speaker 6 (12:40):
The point of this segment.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
You call this for help. I don't care what.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Did you say.
Speaker 7 (12:48):
I just I just said, please really don't bring her
over here. I don't need her over here because we've
already had the apartment's breaks with pests.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
Sprays.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Mean about her.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
You are really good at burns there.
Speaker 7 (13:01):
I'm trying.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Well, shoot, now you got to pay for pest, like
she's some sort of cockroach or something.
Speaker 7 (13:10):
Wait for him, right, yeah, trust me, believe me, he's
probably worse than that. If he's dating her, she's probably
worse than that.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Okay, but you were dating him at some point, so
doesn't that make you on the same level as her?
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Yeah, it makes it worse.
Speaker 7 (13:21):
Yeah, but you know he was batting out of his
league when he was with me, and.
Speaker 6 (13:27):
He's downgraded and all right, right yeah yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 7 (13:34):
He said, you got to be kidding me. He said,
she's not going to be with me, but I'm going
to bring my overnight bag just in case.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
What Now, we went back to him hooking up with you.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
He got he got off track there.
Speaker 6 (13:49):
He's willing to take whatever he can get. Don't write
anything back yet, Brionna. Okay, don't don't write anything. We
want to help you craft next text one.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
I don't think this girlfriend even exists, to be honest,
I think she's made up.
Speaker 6 (14:01):
That might be true, Okay, it might be true, but
at this point he thinks he's coming over and he's
gonna stay the night.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Yeah, Because they're both being sassy back and forth, there's
like a tension thing going on.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
How do you stop the tension? Does anybody know, Brianna?
Speaker 6 (14:13):
What are your thoughts right now?
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Like?
Speaker 6 (14:14):
What are you?
Speaker 7 (14:16):
Well, Like, I'm thinking about it, and I'm like, you
know what, it's fine. I can handle this. Like he
can just come over and watch a movie or whatever.
But that's it.
Speaker 6 (14:26):
Now You're gonna invite him in to watch a movie
with you?
Speaker 7 (14:28):
Yeah, because then that way he can see is like
okayng of the movie and then he's gonna like close
in and I'm gonna be like, Pisa, you need to go.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
The next morning.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
In the ten minutes that I've known you, I know.
Speaker 7 (14:43):
I think it'll be fine. I really do. I think
if you can just come over.
Speaker 6 (14:46):
And you can take your shirt off, come inside, and
then nothing will happen. I promise.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
Watch him forget the chain after all this.
Speaker 7 (14:54):
Oh god, so that's fine. So I just said him
the movie text, tell me I can come over every week.
Speaker 4 (14:59):
You already said else you didn't have to do a
lot of work today, Guys, are you.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Okay?
Speaker 7 (15:06):
Look you don't understand. I've already said, like I'm not
going to do anything. You're gonna come over to watch
a movie and I'm going to kick him the beep out.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
Oh yeah, there's gonna be a lot of beep and that.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
You set those boundaries strong.
Speaker 7 (15:21):
Exactly, and so like just I'll just keep you guys pusted.
What happened?
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Okay, I think we know what's gonna happen, But if
you want to call us and confirm it, that would
be great.
Speaker 7 (15:29):
You know what, You can say that, but trust me,
you are going to be shocked and amazed because I
am not doing anything. I'm kicking him out.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I shocked and amazed if that actually happened. I do
feel like she's going to find another item of his.
Speaker 6 (15:41):
In two more months, when you want your second date
update with your ex boyfriend, will be here. She has
a sock for you, all right, so we okay, So
at this point, we started with you wanting to tell
your ex boyfriend that there is no chance of any romance.
You could just get his chain. Now we're inviting him
inside the apartment to watch a movie.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
With his pants and then kick him out again.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
Yes, you better not kiss.
Speaker 6 (16:07):
We're in a good place.
Speaker 7 (16:09):
Oh I'm sorry, but that sounds like a good plan to.
Speaker 6 (16:10):
Me as long as you're happy.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Freaking Jeffrey in the morning well.
Speaker 6 (16:16):
I've actually got an update.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Oh my god, I'm an.
Speaker 6 (16:19):
Update from Brianna. She wrote to us. She said, dear
Brook and Jeffrey, thanks again for your help. Although I
didn't really need much advice from you, I really appreciate
you having me on the show and hearing my story.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
Okay, she thinks she doesn't need advice.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
But she says, I wish she would have listened to it.
Speaker 6 (16:37):
Yeah, I didn't even here, she says. F Yi, he
did come over, we watched a movie y and nothing happened.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah right.
Speaker 6 (16:49):
She does go on and say, but the next morning
something did happen night after he's spent the night. I
held off for a very very long time, though, So
give girl some credit. That is, she almost went a
full twenty four hours.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Good. She just needs to lead into it. Just get
back together with a guy.
Speaker 4 (17:10):
She's lying to herself.
Speaker 6 (17:11):
She says, that was the last time ever, So I
hope he enjoyed it. Love always your fan, Brianna.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Oh man, I can't wait for our next update for
three months and then hooked up again.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
I found a paper clip you left over here.
Speaker 6 (17:27):
Oh my god. But hey, if you ever need help
with texting with your dating life. With anything, you can
always email the show. We'll reach out to that person
for you. Rookie Jeffrey in the morning
Hey, no Sunday scaries when you got a full new
podcast to listen to, right, none of that.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Yeah, it's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning and you
have found the Second Date Update podcast. And today on Sundays,
we always like to feature a new segment that we've
done during the week.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
And this one is textual healing.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Yeah, that's where somebody may need our help texting someone
for whatever reason, and we step in.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
You know, those texts can be hard, especially when.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
They're with your ex, which is today, Yes, which is today.
But before we get to today, what's a fun comment
for today?
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Audrey said, so happy I got recommended your podcast. I
watched The Conjuring recently and haven't been able to sleep
a relevant But anyways, I play your podcast and it
always makes me crack up.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Yeah, that's scary, it is.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I won't watch it. I stopped watching scary movies when
I live by myself. Oh see, I couldn't do it again.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
After that.
Speaker 5 (00:47):
I never watched scary movies. And the first one that
I like, Okay, I'm gonna do it. Let's watch this one.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Maybe we should stop talking about it, because remember.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
She gotjuring texting an X I don't know if it's
a scary.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
We're about to find out. A new episode starts right now.
Speaker 6 (01:04):
On this show, we're always trying to get people together,
whether it's two of our listeners for a second date yeh,
or hooking up our digital producer Jake with Brook's mom.
We are constantly trying to make love happen. Doesn't mean anything, Okay,
it's about love Brook, and it takes a lot of
work doing it every single day.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 6 (01:26):
That's why. Thank god, we have a woman on the
phone who wants us to do the exact opposite.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Oh, she needs.
Speaker 6 (01:32):
To make it clear no love will happen between her
and one dude who's coming over to her place later,
and this particular situation is extremely awkward for her. You'll
understand why she needs our help when we do some
textual healing. Coming up next text you will healing textual.
(02:00):
Most people who need help texting are ninety six year
old grandmas who can't figure out which side of the
iPhone is the touch part. But occasionally regular folks need
assistance with texting too, when they're in an awkward predicament
and they aren't sure what to write to.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
One of our ninety five year old listeners.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Yeah, might be, it might be.
Speaker 6 (02:22):
That's the whole reason we created this segment, Textual Healing,
where we assist listeners of all ages, grandmas to newborns,
sweet and we help them craft the perfect message. And
who's emailed the show today requesting our textual expertise or expertise.
Her name is Brianna. Brianna, welcome to the show.
Speaker 7 (02:42):
Hi, thank you. I appreciate you taking my call.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
You're welcome, Brianna, and we're going to be taking your text.
Speaker 6 (02:48):
Yeah possible.
Speaker 7 (02:49):
Oh I see what you did.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Yeah, I'm really smart. We're really the smartest guy on
the show.
Speaker 6 (02:55):
So Brianna, tell us about what's your awkward situation and
why do you need our help?
Speaker 7 (03:01):
So I just don't know what you're say and I'm
hoping you guys can help me. So I had a
guy over for a date. That's not the problem.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
That is a good thing to say our show, Like,
let me.
Speaker 7 (03:11):
Just start that right there. But he found a gold
chain in one of my bathroom drawers. It's a long story,
but I look at it and I realized it's my
ex boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Oh yeah, dude, I can't believe your date was snooping
in your bathroom drawers.
Speaker 7 (03:25):
Well, no, I asked him to get something out from me.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Oh, okay, okay, is it expensive gold chains? I wouldn't
get rid of it either, how thick it like a.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
Thin one or what?
Speaker 7 (03:33):
Well, it's it's real gold, Like it's real. But it's
something I would have thrown out, except that his grandmother
gave it to him, like it's got sentimental values.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
To gosh, you got to give it back to him.
Speaker 7 (03:42):
I know. But well, see now you're kind of getting
to exactly my problem because I texted him and I said, hey,
if I entertained, you want to come grab it? And
he sends me back this text and he's like, oh,
sure you did. You can just say you want some
of this with like one of those little squirky winky Oh.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
I see why it's your ex Yeah.
Speaker 6 (04:00):
But in his defense, you did say you want to
come over and grab it. That can be interpreted a
lot of different ways. I'm just saying, yeah.
Speaker 7 (04:07):
I did definitely set myself up for that one. And
part of how I set myself up for it was
that two months ago his AirPods were still here. We
work up about three months ago, and after about a
month I found it air pods and I texted him
to stop buy and grab him like a the same
kind of thing, and he came over and we ended
up hooking up.
Speaker 6 (04:22):
Yeah, oh okay, so there's precedence for this now.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I mean, unfortunately is going to come over. It's just
good bound to happen.
Speaker 6 (04:31):
Okay, keeping X is away from Brooks House, it's just
definitely going to happen.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I mean, that's why you got to meet in a
place like a parking lot or well parking.
Speaker 6 (04:40):
That's parking lot with a gorgeous view the city.
Speaker 7 (04:45):
Yeah. So I just I need to be able to
text him in a way that he knows is like, no,
that's not what I want. I just want you to
get your stuff, okay, And he's coming over at sixth tonight,
Like he's already said straight up that he's coming over.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I understand why his response was the grab it saying
then yeah it makes sense now.
Speaker 6 (05:01):
Yeah, he's thinking that you're trying to set it up again.
But can't you just tell him like no, I'm just
going to leave it under my doormat, I'll be like
away from home.
Speaker 7 (05:09):
I could, but I just don't wanted to get stolen because,
like I said, his grandmother gave it time. So that's
why I didn't just put it in the mail.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Can I ask, yeah, is there any part of you
that kinda wants to hook up with it when he
comes over?
Speaker 7 (05:22):
No?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Just jacket?
Speaker 6 (05:24):
Okay, No, I.
Speaker 7 (05:28):
Mean that's a fair question. But yeah, if you've been
there the last time, you would have understood why I did. Not.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Like what was the last thing that was said between
you two.
Speaker 7 (05:35):
The last thing was that he was going to come
over at sixth and he said I'm going to give
you something of mine too.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 7 (05:42):
Yeah, it was kind of gross.
Speaker 6 (05:43):
And yeah, okay, so the wheels are already in motion.
You're trying to make it really really clear to him
that nothing is going to happen, and there's no lingering.
Speaker 7 (05:55):
Feelings there right like, you're not coming inside. I'm just
going to hand it to you at the door. Peace out,
go have a great life.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
It should be easy.
Speaker 5 (06:01):
What you should just be able to say, Hi, I
don't have a lot of time.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
I think you need more than that. I think you
need to say i'm short on time. I've got a
date at six thirty.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Yeah, boyfriend already?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Right then?
Speaker 7 (06:16):
Does that not make me kind of sound like a why.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
Do you care?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
It's your ex? You know?
Speaker 3 (06:20):
You're right, You're right.
Speaker 6 (06:21):
It sounds like you're trying to make him jealous a.
Speaker 7 (06:23):
Little bit like that's what I'm afraid of.
Speaker 5 (06:25):
Yeah, okay, can you say I poop my pants?
Speaker 4 (06:31):
I have to change?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
No, I would.
Speaker 7 (06:32):
Probably take care of it.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
Yeah, let's hope he doesn't have a rebuttal for that.
Speaker 6 (06:36):
Can you be like really direct and say I think
you're reading too far into this?
Speaker 7 (06:41):
I mean, yeah, just be like you don't flatter yourself?
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yeah, or you really want him to leave you alone?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
You say, well, last time was pretty disappointing, so I
don't want to go down that road again.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Honestly, that's how my friends text their X like every
time was disappointing, and that would not.
Speaker 7 (06:58):
Be a lie.
Speaker 6 (06:59):
So so let's let's be direct. Sprinkle a little bit
of honesty in there too, And Okay, so you're.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Bad in bed?
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Yeah, he's probably take it as a joke.
Speaker 7 (07:11):
Well, I don't wan him to take it as a
personal challenge to.
Speaker 6 (07:14):
Be like a huh, we probably should sprinkle a little
bit of humor in there too, just to lighten the blow.
So if you're like, well, slow down, Romeo, last time
didn't go so well, you're reading too far into this, okay.
Speaker 7 (07:27):
Or I just want to hand it off at the door,
like that's it.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
About last time didn't leave me wanting more? We're good.
Speaker 7 (07:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
I still feel like if you put yourself in a
short time window, like I only have two minutes, you know,
something like that got.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
A helper now.
Speaker 7 (07:44):
I think it might because I didn't say so. He
was like, I'm coming over tomorrow at six, Like I
didn't invite him over.
Speaker 6 (07:50):
Okay, you can say I like the one that Brookes
said last time didn't leave me? What did you say?
Speaker 1 (07:55):
I said, last time didn't leave me wanting Moore?
Speaker 6 (07:57):
Yeah, we're good. We're good.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I feel like this is going to be really simple.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
He should read that and go, oh okay, no worries.
Speaker 6 (08:06):
See at six did you send it?
Speaker 7 (08:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Okay, this may be the most boring.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
UH want to right back, and he says, okay, it's like.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
I have a great day. Okay.
Speaker 6 (08:22):
I mean that would be the smoothest textual healing we
ever did. But I can't believe I'm hoping for boring
as we continue, but if he responds to that when
we continue textual healing right after this hold on, we're
just showing us we're in the middle of textual healing
with our listener Brianna, who recently found her ex boyfriend's
(08:44):
gold chain in her bathroom drawer, and the chain has
sentimental value because his grandma gifted it to him, so
she can't just toss it out or pawn it on
eBay like most of us would.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
And she's actually a really nice person. Yeah, I mean,
she's being much kinder your X and I would have.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Ever.
Speaker 6 (09:01):
Yeah, oh, what would you do, bro, because you said
you would hook up with him?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Well, I mean.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
That could also be punishment.
Speaker 6 (09:10):
But when she texted him to come by and get
his chain, the X assumed that was an invitation to
exchange more than just jewelry.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Well, because of what happened last time.
Speaker 6 (09:20):
He stopped by, because last time he forgot his AirPods
or something and they ended up hooking up. So he
is coming by later today, which is why Brianna needs
help making it clear there will be no romance happening,
not tonight, not the next night, not ever.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
She's willing to give him the gold chain, but just
to hand off.
Speaker 6 (09:38):
Yes, so Brooke came up with the text idea of
sending him Honestly, last time didn't exactly leave me wanting more.
We're good. Just get the chain, I get.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
I still love it is it is. It's harsh now.
Speaker 6 (09:54):
That was the goal. Yeah, yeah, Brianna. Has your ex
responded to that?
Speaker 7 (09:59):
Yeah? He did? He did.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Oh gosh, I don't have a smile in your voice.
Speaker 7 (10:03):
Yeah, he wrote, ha ha ha. Well I'm with someone
you know anyway, and she doesn't have any complaints.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
You both went in that sense.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
There you go. So he's not somebody else.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
Congratulate him and say I'll see it.
Speaker 6 (10:16):
And really he's trying to make her jealous by pointing
out that he has a new girl.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
It didn't work on us, though, but it doesn't work
on her because.
Speaker 6 (10:23):
No, I'm just pointing out, like the point of his
the ex boyfriend is trying to push back on you.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Clearly, does that upset you that he's with somebody else?
Speaker 7 (10:31):
No, I just look, I just texted him back real
quick because he's just acting like a child.
Speaker 6 (10:37):
But we're supposed to craft one together.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
To text back to acting like a child. He was
just telling you that he's in a relationship.
Speaker 7 (10:44):
Well, I think you're right though, I think he was
just trying to make me jealous.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Pretend it's real.
Speaker 6 (10:49):
What do you what did you write?
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (10:51):
No, I just wrote where did you find her? The
animal shelter?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Like what.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
That's really?
Speaker 6 (10:59):
I mean it is kind of fun, but it's.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Spirally.
Speaker 6 (11:04):
Yeah, we don't want to get like into a fight
with him, right, you.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Kind of escalated this.
Speaker 7 (11:08):
I didn't escalated. No, no, no, no, no, I didn't escalate.
Does he escalated by bringing up some girl?
Speaker 6 (11:13):
And actually, if we really want to point fingers, brook
is the one who came up with the first text,
and it was kind of sassy and that started off
this whole chain.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
New girlfriend escalated blame.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
I think the more we get into this, the more
I'm started to feel that you still have feelings.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
You guys need closure.
Speaker 6 (11:31):
Brooks projecting again.
Speaker 7 (11:32):
I say, I just say no, no, no, no, no, no no, no,
miss brook No, I do not want to get back
together with him. I do not have feelings for him.
That is that is a big fat no.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Okay, I told you we should have said the fake
boyfriend thing first, he beat us to it.
Speaker 6 (11:49):
Now you've already sent the animal shelter comment? Has he
responded back?
Speaker 7 (11:53):
He did, Oh.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
God, please don't be something bad.
Speaker 6 (11:56):
What did he say?
Speaker 7 (11:57):
It's not bad, it's just stupid. It's like, if somebody
sounds jealous, I can bring her with me and we
can just act like adults and I get my necklace.
I mean.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Playing the mature card, right, That's what your guys fights
were like when you were dating.
Speaker 6 (12:14):
Yeah, who's the anyone? And who's so mature to bring
your new girlfriend to your ex girlfriend's apartment and parade
her in front of you?
Speaker 4 (12:21):
I'm mature. Burn Yeah, it's like a.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Sarcastic Yeah, totally.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
Jealous of his I love this too much.
Speaker 6 (12:33):
Okay, so what do we right back to respond to
that with?
Speaker 7 (12:37):
Actually already texted him.
Speaker 6 (12:40):
The point of this segment.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
You call this for help. I don't care what.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Did you say.
Speaker 7 (12:48):
I just I just said, please really don't bring her
over here. I don't need her over here because we've
already had the apartment's breaks with pests.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
Sprays.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Mean about her.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
You are really good at burns there.
Speaker 7 (13:01):
I'm trying.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Well, shoot, now you got to pay for pest, like
she's some sort of cockroach or something.
Speaker 7 (13:10):
Wait for him, right, yeah, trust me, believe me, he's
probably worse than that. If he's dating her, she's probably
worse than that.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Okay, but you were dating him at some point, so
doesn't that make you on the same level as her?
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Yeah, it makes it worse.
Speaker 7 (13:21):
Yeah, but you know he was batting out of his
league when he was with me, and.
Speaker 6 (13:27):
He's downgraded and all right, right yeah yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 7 (13:34):
He said, you got to be kidding me. He said,
she's not going to be with me, but I'm going
to bring my overnight bag just in case.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
What Now, we went back to him hooking up with you.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
He got he got off track there.
Speaker 6 (13:49):
He's willing to take whatever he can get. Don't write
anything back yet, Brionna. Okay, don't don't write anything. We
want to help you craft next text one.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
I don't think this girlfriend even exists, to be honest,
I think she's made up.
Speaker 6 (14:01):
That might be true, Okay, it might be true, but
at this point he thinks he's coming over and he's
gonna stay the night.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Yeah, Because they're both being sassy back and forth, there's
like a tension thing going on.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
How do you stop the tension? Does anybody know, Brianna?
Speaker 6 (14:13):
What are your thoughts right now?
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Like?
Speaker 6 (14:14):
What are you?
Speaker 7 (14:16):
Well, Like, I'm thinking about it, and I'm like, you
know what, it's fine. I can handle this. Like he
can just come over and watch a movie or whatever.
But that's it.
Speaker 6 (14:26):
Now You're gonna invite him in to watch a movie
with you?
Speaker 7 (14:28):
Yeah, because then that way he can see is like
okayng of the movie and then he's gonna like close
in and I'm gonna be like, Pisa, you need to go.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
The next morning.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
In the ten minutes that I've known you, I know.
Speaker 7 (14:43):
I think it'll be fine. I really do. I think
if you can just come over.
Speaker 6 (14:46):
And you can take your shirt off, come inside, and
then nothing will happen. I promise.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
Watch him forget the chain after all this.
Speaker 7 (14:54):
Oh god, so that's fine. So I just said him
the movie text, tell me I can come over every week.
Speaker 4 (14:59):
You already said else you didn't have to do a
lot of work today, Guys, are you.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Okay?
Speaker 7 (15:06):
Look you don't understand. I've already said, like I'm not
going to do anything. You're gonna come over to watch
a movie and I'm going to kick him the beep out.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
Oh yeah, there's gonna be a lot of beep and that.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
You set those boundaries strong.
Speaker 7 (15:21):
Exactly, and so like just I'll just keep you guys pusted.
What happened?
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Okay, I think we know what's gonna happen, But if
you want to call us and confirm it, that would
be great.
Speaker 7 (15:29):
You know what, You can say that, but trust me,
you are going to be shocked and amazed because I
am not doing anything. I'm kicking him out.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I shocked and amazed if that actually happened. I do
feel like she's going to find another item of his.
Speaker 6 (15:41):
In two more months, when you want your second date
update with your ex boyfriend, will be here. She has
a sock for you, all right, so we okay, So
at this point, we started with you wanting to tell
your ex boyfriend that there is no chance of any romance.
You could just get his chain. Now we're inviting him
inside the apartment to watch a movie.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
With his pants and then kick him out again.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
Yes, you better not kiss.
Speaker 6 (16:07):
We're in a good place.
Speaker 7 (16:09):
Oh I'm sorry, but that sounds like a good plan to.
Speaker 6 (16:10):
Me as long as you're happy.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Freaking Jeffrey in the morning well.
Speaker 6 (16:16):
I've actually got an update.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Oh my god, I'm an.
Speaker 6 (16:19):
Update from Brianna. She wrote to us. She said, dear
Brook and Jeffrey, thanks again for your help. Although I
didn't really need much advice from you, I really appreciate
you having me on the show and hearing my story.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
Okay, she thinks she doesn't need advice.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
But she says, I wish she would have listened to it.
Speaker 6 (16:37):
Yeah, I didn't even here, she says. F Yi, he
did come over, we watched a movie y and nothing happened.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah right.
Speaker 6 (16:49):
She does go on and say, but the next morning
something did happen night after he's spent the night. I
held off for a very very long time, though, So
give girl some credit. That is, she almost went a
full twenty four hours.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Good. She just needs to lead into it. Just get
back together with a guy.
Speaker 4 (17:10):
She's lying to herself.
Speaker 6 (17:11):
She says, that was the last time ever, So I
hope he enjoyed it. Love always your fan, Brianna.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Oh man, I can't wait for our next update for
three months and then hooked up again.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
I found a paper clip you left over here.
Speaker 6 (17:27):
Oh my god. But hey, if you ever need help
with texting with your dating life. With anything, you can
always email the show. We'll reach out to that person
for you. Rookie Jeffrey in the morning
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Jose Bolanos
Alexis Fuller
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