Brace yourselves, BA fam—this week’s Brown Table gets deep into the dollars and the drama.
Mandi is joined by not one, not two, but three first-time Brown Table guests: Alexa Claire from The Financial Diet, JQ (aka Jonquilyn Hill) from Vox’s Explain It To Me podcast, and Yvie Saint-Louis from Blavity. They’re diving into the news, the nonsense, and the real-life mess of navigating finances, friendships, and fairness—especially when rent’s due and tensions are high.
💰 This week on the BA Q&A:
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Roommate conflicts when rent increases—how do you talk money without blowing up the group chat?
-
Why “Clarity is kindness” when it comes to financial boundaries and agreements.
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Understanding your tenant rights and how they can protect you.
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The emotional and financial toll of the housing crisis—on individuals, families, and entire communities.
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How to balance compassion with consequences when helping others financially.
-
Tips for setting expectations early (and why contracts aren’t just for landlords).
Whether you’re navigating messy money convos, trying to keep your budget (and your friendships) intact, or just need to know you’re not alone in the struggle—this one’s for you.
New here?
Join us three times a week:
-
💼 Monday Motivation (deep dives + interviews)
-
🪑 Brown Table Wednesdays (group chat energy, always)
-
🎤 BA Q&A Fridays (your money + career questions answered)
We launched a Patreon, too!
🎥 Get early access, video recordings, and exclusive book club perks:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
If you're going to be chill about money, you gotta
be able to be afford to be chill about money.
If you were ever going to pay their side of
the rent, you have to do so knowing that there
would be some level of consequence by the end, whether
that mean you don't get that money back by a
certain time or at all, that means that you have
to pay an additional month just to like kind of
figure this out, Like there are consequences that come along
(00:21):
with being chill about money. You have to be able
to afford that.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Ava Fam, it's been a minute, but we are back
with the BAQA. So for those who are new, also welcome.
But every Friday we take questions from the ba fam community.
And if you want to get your questions answered and
you want priority lane access to the wisdom that this
I was gonna say generations when we win any generations
that me and my friends have to offer, y'all sign
(00:52):
up for the brand Ambition Patreon right now. You can
go to our show notes find out for like five
bucks a month you get so much access to me,
to the ba community, our private group chat, our book club.
You can be live in the audience, getting your questions
answered the virtual audience for the Brown Table, so check
that out. If you want to submit a question, you
can hit me up at Brannibission Podcast at gmail. So
(01:13):
consider like the Patreon to be the I just was flying,
so you know, I got a first row seat to
classism in effect, so we have our first class as
our Patreon, then we have our I would say, like
regular ba fam your premium economy. There's not really an
economy lane, right, because you will still get access to
me at Brannivision Podcast on ig you can DM me
(01:34):
your questions if you are I hate to say old school,
but if you'd like to just send an email. If
you're a little wordy for the Instagram, go to email
and you can email me Brandnambition Podcast at gmail dot com.
Those emails go directly to me. I read every single one.
And now we got to do a little disclaimer because
I don't need any of these beautiful women on my
show to be sued, least of all me. I ain't
(01:56):
got it come for me. I don't have it. But
feel free do not see us. We are not your
financial planners, your financial advisors. We are just a couple
of badass brown women who have some wisdom and some
ideas and some opinions to share. I want to take
a moment to introduce you to my co host for
the BAQA. This week, we have Alexa Claire from The
Financial Diet.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Hello, Hello, I am so happy to be here with
you all you.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
And then we have Jonquiline Hill, the host of the
Boxes podcast. Explain it to me and a new bike
riding aficionado and you can call her JQ because we're
cool like that. Now. Yeah, so excited to be here,
okayva fan, Let's get into our first question. It comes
from a listener who wants to remain anonymous, and I
think it's pretty obvious when we listen to it. Why
(02:43):
but this made me cringe so hard and I don't
even know if I have a good answer for this.
Anonymous says, help, I have no idea how to handle this.
Our landlord raised our rent by five hundred dollars earlier
this year. My roommate has been struggling to cover her
half already, and now this I've been paying an additional
five hundred dollars my so to cover for her. But
it's been a few months and it doesn't look like
(03:03):
things are changing. How do I ask her to either
come up with the money or tell her she needs
to go so I can find a new roommate. Am
I an asshole?
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Is so awkward? Very nice of her.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Yeah, my thing is like girl, you're not like, well,
I don't know the gender. Girl is gender neutral in
this term, I call everybody girl. But hey, you're not
an asshole. But the thing is, you do have to
have a conversation with your roommate. And it's a conversation
that probably should have come when she initially could.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Not pay it.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
I don't know if the situation is like now she
owes you money. I think that would be the thing
with me. She would owe me money. I don't have
five hundred dollars a month in addition to what I
paid her rent to do. I think you're just gonna
have to sit her down and say, hey, this is
not sustainable. I just straight up do not have it.
I guess, like the follow up question, which we don't
know the answer to, I'm curious if you all signed
(03:59):
the least together or your names individually, because if you
signed individually, then I think you may be off the hook.
And that's something that she'll just have to deal with.
You can help her brainstorm solutions, like here's a side hustle.
Maybe we can talk the landlord down or get an
arrangement with payment. But if it's under your name, it
may be time to find a new roommate and you're
(04:20):
just gonna have to sit down and have the hard,
awkward conversation. Go in with kindness, don't be a jerk
about it. But I think just saying hey, this is
not sustainable, I don't have it. I think you just
have to be honest.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Yeah, I think you got to absolutely name the elephant
in the room first and foremost by starting with compassion, though,
because I'm sure that for your roommate it's already a
very embarrassing situation for them of having to be in
a situation wherein they can no longer pay a rent
that they have been they were fine with before, but
then big bad landlord comes around raising rents. So I
think first and foremost starting with compassion of just like, hey,
(04:53):
I understand that this is a very difficult situation for
you and for myself, and make it a week. I
hate that we are in this situation that we are
dealing with right now. It's definitely a rough patch, but financially,
I just can't keep covering your portion. I need to
know if you'll be able to start paying your half
of the rent buy and then put a date there,
(05:14):
like we need a date ideally like a month out, okay,
or if we need to start talking about other arrangements
like perhaps subletting your room. What can we make happen?
How can we creatively you know, find find the answer here?
Because my thought process is if she's been paying five
hundred dollars extra to cover the roommate, like something tells
me that they've been they were friends beforehand, Like this
(05:35):
wasn't just like a yeah, like we're just gonna randomly
room together some random stranger I met on like Facebook,
Like it's something they knew each other beforehand, Which is
why I'm really promoting the wee conversation, the compassion. But
also we do need to have some solid Let's have
a date by when you're going to start paying. Let's
write a contract up that keeps you to that date.
Let's make sure that you know the required parties that
(05:58):
need to be aware of this are made aware of this,
Like I just yeah, compassion but also follow.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Up with that would like make her the landlord almost like, well,
if you were to draw up a contract, I guess
it does matter. I'm just like, does she even need
to be the bad guy here? Like does she need
to draw up a contract? Or can she just say
like I mean there, I'm assuming we have to assume
(06:23):
we don't know how we have to assume masual landlord
and that there's a lease, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I love what you said, though, Alexa, like you're almost
giving like a good script to use and like you
definitely come into the table with compassion, but at a
certain and I don't know about giving a month though.
I'm just thinking like if I were the person, and
I guess it's not the full five hundred, Like she's
paying two she's paying her half of that, which is
two fifty, But that extra two fifty unless the roommate
(06:50):
has a plan to create that money or find it somewhere.
How is the other roommate the one who's like not
able to afford it? How are they not stressed about this? Like,
how are they not bringing this up? Why is the
onus on the roommate who's covering it to like come
up with a solution.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
So here's the thing is, this is what I'm constantly
telling my friends about my friends specifically who are more
of the quote unquote nice variety, not kind, but nice,
like not wanting to rock the boat. It's like, if
you're going to be chill about money, you gotta be
able to be afford to be chill about money. If
you were ever going to pay their side of the rent,
you have to do so knowing that there would be
(07:26):
some level of consequence by the end, whether that means
you don't get that money back by a certain time
or at all, that means that you have to pay
an additional month just to like kind of figure this out, Like,
there are consequences that come along with being chill about money.
You have to be able to afford that. So since
we're past that point that they should have spoken up
about this and said we gotta you know, I'm assuming
(07:48):
that the rent of the landlord said hey, within two months,
within three months, you will, like our rent will increase.
It wasn't like a okay, immediately next month, is what
I'm assuming. Perhaps y'all disagree with me and care cool
with it, but like I would imagine there was sub
level of warning and they both just kind of kept
quiet about it until it became a whole issue. And
then because the run through rote to you didn't like
(08:10):
was fine paying that part? Like there's a certain consequence here,
at which point I think now the answer is, how
can we creatively get out of this? Figure out the situation?
Can we sublet your room? Where else can you go?
Can you get outside a part time job for a moment?
What are our options? Because we have to start the
conversation most who started the conversation yet? Which is the
issue here in.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
My opinion, JQ, you think that she owes her money?
Speaker 3 (08:33):
I mean, if you're paying this additional I mean unless
you're like, Okay, you got these past three months, the
three past months I got, and then after that we're
even we're gonna split it the way we said. But yeah,
I think it's just unfortunately the conversation is going to
be uncomfortable. But I think the anticipation of the conversation
(08:53):
is likely making you more miserable than actually having it is.
That's what I find because there are times where I'm like,
if I beat around the bush and if I avoid
and once I do it. I'm like, oh, I mean,
it wasn't fun, but it's done and I came out
on the other side. And if you need to, maybe
you all have a mutual friends. Granted I understand if
y'all don't want someone in your business, but maybe someone
who could serve as a mediator or like, how can
(09:15):
we figure this out? And this is assuming that your
landlord is acting like in good faith, because if they
pulled a switcher roo on you, that maybe they shouldn't have.
Also look into your local tent laws, you know, because
if that what their behavior isn't on the up and up,
maybe y'all both deserve some compensation, you know, like how
much notice does a landlord have to give before the
(09:36):
rent is raised? Is there a cap on how much
the rent can be raised?
Speaker 1 (09:39):
DC, we have.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Some relatively good tenant laws. And also like automatically you're
month to month if you do not resign a lease.
So depending on the situation, it may even be worth
it for you to break a lease and find a
cheaper place for you to live on your own, and
that would put your friend in an unfortunate spot. But
then perhaps they could find a place that they can
also afford.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I think that's really smart, especially like looking into your
local tenants laws I used to. I've lived in both,
like do do y'all have? Like, well, I know, Alexa,
you're subletting right now, but I've lived in apartments where
it was like I lived in someone's basement and my
landlord is just the homeowner. And this has all been
in New York. Or also like lived in like a
big building with like a management company and everything is
(10:21):
like very by the books, and there are some situations
that are more flexible than others. I feel like if
I was the one paying the extra two point fifty
for my roommate, I wouldn't ask for the money back.
I kind of agree with what Alexa was saying about
how if you're going to be flexible with money, if
you're going to offer it up, then don't expect to
get it back. And I have done that, and I
just feel like it's fast tracked to like conflict and
(10:44):
in a bad way, like to be disappointed. If you're
going to like expect this person who doesn't have the
money today to suddenly come up with it a couple
months from now, and then oh, two months worth of
that money that you lent them, just like but at
the same time, like clarity is kindness in the sense
of when you doing that, you have to either say
either way, I'm expecting this back and here's how it's
gonna work, or I'm going to float you for two
(11:06):
months and if you can figure this out, that's great.
If you can't, just call it even and you can
move on. But you got to move on to your
own place, because I don't want to keep up this
kind of spending.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
If you are going to spend money on someone in
any way without clearly making it none that you expect
to have this money come back to you by a
certain point in a certain way, that is charity. You
signed off all right to that money, now, you know. So,
Like even with my situation in DC, we had to
make it very clear between all three of us, Okay,
here's when we will all move out. Here's how long
(11:39):
this other third roommate will be responsible for paying her
part of the rent even though she's no longer living here,
just to give us some time to save up to
figure out how we're going to pay rent. When we
were splitting three ways versus now two, and we were
all very amenable to it, specifically because of the way
the contract was written and the fact that we we
came up with it in a way of, Hey, we're
all in a sticky situation here, how can we all
(12:00):
benefit one another? It's the best of our ability. How
can we be aware of you know, each other outside
of ourselves, you know, not be selfish about our approach here?
It takes an enormous amount of maturity to be able
to have that conversation.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
How did y'all come up with the contract language? Did
you just use like an AI?
Speaker 1 (12:17):
You know what's so funny is yes, we did have
chat GPT write up a contract. One of us, however,
is a lawyer, so she refined the language. Yeah, very helpful.
She refined the language a little bit for us, and
then we both made we all three made it some
certain edits to make it more menable to what we
individually needed, and then from there we signed and just
sent it in between ourselves. Yeah, that was really itch
(12:39):
that started it off. It's like, how what do you do?
How do you start? This is where I'm saying this
AI can really help thousand times.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Yeah, I did a contract with someone who is like
helping me with some like a fitness trainer. I made
it up myself and I was like, this is fine.
I've read enough of them to know what I need
to put in here. It's cool, that's really smart. Okay,
but I'm really interested by Okay. So the companies bought
out your building, right, and how much notice did you?
Speaker 1 (13:01):
So you have to get out conversation that so nine months.
So the conversation, however, to sell the building started a
year prior. It was between two different buyers. It was
one was an individual, the other was a full company.
The individual was like, listen, here's what I can do.
I know you guys need a new elevator. We're a
pre war building. The elevator is literally from like the fifties.
(13:24):
People have gotten stuck in it over the summer for hours.
It's really bad. No one uses it anymore.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Ooh okay, no no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Right. So he's like, here's what I can do. I
can replace the elevator. I can install a ramp to
make this place handicap accessible, and like that was that
was pretty much it. And the others were like, so
we can give you thirty K per apartment, and on
top of that, like nine months extra time for you
to be able to move out. Right after we signed
at Jewish Point, we're life. Yeah, we're won't take thirty
(13:51):
k over a working elevator. But a lot of people
were splitting out of course between themselves. A lot of
the people in our buildings share their apartments, like by three.
Some of us got more than thirty, some of us
got less than thirty. It all depends on how long
some of you were there. And like the ratio of
how it all turned out, I have to check what
mine was. I don't remember, but it was. I was happy.
I was happy, for sure. But the whole issue came
(14:12):
and like with them pushing off the bio because with
the tariffs and whatnot, They're like, listen, we got the
construction of this building, but now it's like, are we
gonna be able to afford the construction because of the tariffs? Yeah,
so we don't know if it's gonna be sold or not.
We don't even know if we're gonna get the buyout.
So my own, my roommate, the one and I who
are sticking around are having a situation here of like
(14:34):
are we gonna have to eat this money now? That
like we're paying the part of the third roommates in
addition to our parts or is it all gonna make
sense at the end when we get the buyout, like
do we get one or not? So it's it's a gamble.
It's a gamble for sure, but we thought it through.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
That is really awkward.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Yeah, it definitely is.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
But I feel like you guys handled it well, but
now you have this like uncertainty that's really stressful. So
is that why you're subletting or just like, you know,
are you paying rent over there and rent in New
York or how's that working.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I'm doing rent over there and still letting here. But
my friend luckily is handling most of this sublet situation
for herself, like on her end, like she's paying for
some of it because it's really good to her. Yeah, exactly,
I'm house sitting. It's really where it was. My name
is like on an actual sublet agreement. But yes, which
I'm very grateful for. Believe me, I'm counting the privilege here.
I'm very grateful for the friend and all that kind
of situation.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
But yeah, yeah, and I mean having had roommates, like
it is nice to get your own space again for
a little while. Yeah, well, listener, anonymous, I should have
given you a pseudonym. Actually, you should give yourself one.
If y'all are going to be anonymous, you gotta tell
me or I'm gonna give you something like Corny, like
Felicia or Janet. I don't know, but good luck with
this situation. I want an update. I love when y'all
(15:46):
send me updates on your awkward money situations. I think, then, Alexa,
our advice really is going with compassion. But don't forget
clarity is kindness. If you did not set boundaries about
this money that you were lending her or what it
was going to be a lend or gift in the beginning,
you have to like do that now and it may
require you to eat the expense that you have spent
(16:07):
two fifty times too a couple of months you've been
paying this rent. But then also give your self grace
and give your self compassion. Don't be shy about telling
her what you need. And even though the big bad
landlord made this change, you did not, that doesn't mean
it's your responsibility to cover her rent. She got to
put her big girl pants on and either find the
money or move it on. You got to help your
(16:30):
help find another roommate for yourself, someone who can afford it.
So it's interesting how this question is like so tied
to what we talked about during the Brown table about
just the cost of housing increase and how it is
so it's rough. Yeahs is not a little bit of money.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
The ripple waves are far and wide for sure, because
now I'm thinking, even like in situations where, for example,
the roommate might have to move back in with their parents,
what kind of toll is not going to put on
the parents? And then like who does that toll? It
just continues on and on. In I hand, I hate
it for us.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Well, we all need each other. I think that she's
lucky to have a friend who could help her out
this much. But you can only do what you can
do right, and your friend will be okay. I mean,
she'll be okay. And corporate greed is the enemy as ever,
truly put it on a bumper sticker, all right, Alexa
Claire the last one standing, Thank you so much for
joining me this week. Y'all noticed JQ had a bounce,
(17:24):
but I want to thank my other guests for this
week's b A qa JQ from Vox's podcast explain it
to me. Y'all gotta go check it out. You gotta
go find Alexa and she's at Moments with Moments whack
wac on ig. I'm going to be putting it. It's
not my fault. You came up with it. I'm going
to put it in the show notes. But thank you
so much, new friend for joining me on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
It's an occupational hazard of being my friend that I
will invite you on the show eventually.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
And you'll know I liked it. I was smelling so
my cheeks were hurt in this afternoon and I got
this to yes, absolutely coming up ya.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Well, thanks for sharing with Bafam. Yeah reminder, ba Fam,
check out us on Patreon. We're at Brand Ambition podcast
on Patreon. See all the cool benefits. I'm going to
put all of that in the show notes as well,
and we'll see you Monday for another episode of Brown Ambition. Bye,
ba Fam.
If you're going to be chill about money, you gotta
be able to be afford to be chill about money.
If you were ever going to pay their side of
the rent, you have to do so knowing that there
would be some level of consequence by the end, whether
that mean you don't get that money back by a
certain time or at all, that means that you have
to pay an additional month just to like kind of
figure this out, Like there are consequences that come along
(00:21):
with being chill about money. You have to be able
to afford that.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Ava Fam, it's been a minute, but we are back
with the BAQA. So for those who are new, also welcome.
But every Friday we take questions from the ba fam community.
And if you want to get your questions answered and
you want priority lane access to the wisdom that this
I was gonna say generations when we win any generations
that me and my friends have to offer, y'all sign
(00:52):
up for the brand Ambition Patreon right now. You can
go to our show notes find out for like five
bucks a month you get so much access to me,
to the ba community, our private group chat, our book club.
You can be live in the audience, getting your questions
answered the virtual audience for the Brown Table, so check
that out. If you want to submit a question, you
can hit me up at Brannibission Podcast at gmail. So
(01:13):
consider like the Patreon to be the I just was flying,
so you know, I got a first row seat to
classism in effect, so we have our first class as
our Patreon, then we have our I would say, like
regular ba fam your premium economy. There's not really an
economy lane, right, because you will still get access to
me at Brannivision Podcast on ig you can DM me
(01:34):
your questions if you are I hate to say old school,
but if you'd like to just send an email. If
you're a little wordy for the Instagram, go to email
and you can email me Brandnambition Podcast at gmail dot com.
Those emails go directly to me. I read every single one.
And now we got to do a little disclaimer because
I don't need any of these beautiful women on my
show to be sued, least of all me. I ain't
(01:56):
got it come for me. I don't have it. But
feel free do not see us. We are not your
financial planners, your financial advisors. We are just a couple
of badass brown women who have some wisdom and some
ideas and some opinions to share. I want to take
a moment to introduce you to my co host for
the BAQA. This week, we have Alexa Claire from The
Financial Diet.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Hello, Hello, I am so happy to be here with
you all you.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
And then we have Jonquiline Hill, the host of the
Boxes podcast. Explain it to me and a new bike
riding aficionado and you can call her JQ because we're
cool like that. Now. Yeah, so excited to be here,
okayva fan, Let's get into our first question. It comes
from a listener who wants to remain anonymous, and I
think it's pretty obvious when we listen to it. Why
(02:43):
but this made me cringe so hard and I don't
even know if I have a good answer for this.
Anonymous says, help, I have no idea how to handle this.
Our landlord raised our rent by five hundred dollars earlier
this year. My roommate has been struggling to cover her
half already, and now this I've been paying an additional
five hundred dollars my so to cover for her. But
it's been a few months and it doesn't look like
(03:03):
things are changing. How do I ask her to either
come up with the money or tell her she needs
to go so I can find a new roommate. Am
I an asshole?
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Is so awkward? Very nice of her.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Yeah, my thing is like girl, you're not like, well,
I don't know the gender. Girl is gender neutral in
this term, I call everybody girl. But hey, you're not
an asshole. But the thing is, you do have to
have a conversation with your roommate. And it's a conversation
that probably should have come when she initially could.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Not pay it.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
I don't know if the situation is like now she
owes you money. I think that would be the thing
with me. She would owe me money. I don't have
five hundred dollars a month in addition to what I
paid her rent to do. I think you're just gonna
have to sit her down and say, hey, this is
not sustainable. I just straight up do not have it.
I guess, like the follow up question, which we don't
know the answer to, I'm curious if you all signed
(03:59):
the least together or your names individually, because if you
signed individually, then I think you may be off the hook.
And that's something that she'll just have to deal with.
You can help her brainstorm solutions, like here's a side hustle.
Maybe we can talk the landlord down or get an
arrangement with payment. But if it's under your name, it
may be time to find a new roommate and you're
(04:20):
just gonna have to sit down and have the hard,
awkward conversation. Go in with kindness, don't be a jerk
about it. But I think just saying hey, this is
not sustainable, I don't have it. I think you just
have to be honest.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Yeah, I think you got to absolutely name the elephant
in the room first and foremost by starting with compassion, though,
because I'm sure that for your roommate it's already a
very embarrassing situation for them of having to be in
a situation wherein they can no longer pay a rent
that they have been they were fine with before, but
then big bad landlord comes around raising rents. So I
think first and foremost starting with compassion of just like, hey,
(04:53):
I understand that this is a very difficult situation for
you and for myself, and make it a week. I
hate that we are in this situation that we are
dealing with right now. It's definitely a rough patch, but financially,
I just can't keep covering your portion. I need to
know if you'll be able to start paying your half
of the rent buy and then put a date there,
(05:14):
like we need a date ideally like a month out, okay,
or if we need to start talking about other arrangements
like perhaps subletting your room. What can we make happen?
How can we creatively you know, find find the answer here?
Because my thought process is if she's been paying five
hundred dollars extra to cover the roommate, like something tells
me that they've been they were friends beforehand, Like this
(05:35):
wasn't just like a yeah, like we're just gonna randomly
room together some random stranger I met on like Facebook,
Like it's something they knew each other beforehand, Which is
why I'm really promoting the wee conversation, the compassion. But
also we do need to have some solid Let's have
a date by when you're going to start paying. Let's
write a contract up that keeps you to that date.
Let's make sure that you know the required parties that
(05:58):
need to be aware of this are made aware of this,
Like I just yeah, compassion but also follow.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Up with that would like make her the landlord almost like, well,
if you were to draw up a contract, I guess
it does matter. I'm just like, does she even need
to be the bad guy here? Like does she need
to draw up a contract? Or can she just say
like I mean there, I'm assuming we have to assume
(06:23):
we don't know how we have to assume masual landlord
and that there's a lease, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I love what you said, though, Alexa, like you're almost
giving like a good script to use and like you
definitely come into the table with compassion, but at a
certain and I don't know about giving a month though.
I'm just thinking like if I were the person, and
I guess it's not the full five hundred, Like she's
paying two she's paying her half of that, which is
two fifty, But that extra two fifty unless the roommate
(06:50):
has a plan to create that money or find it somewhere.
How is the other roommate the one who's like not
able to afford it? How are they not stressed about this? Like,
how are they not bringing this up? Why is the
onus on the roommate who's covering it to like come
up with a solution.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
So here's the thing is, this is what I'm constantly
telling my friends about my friends specifically who are more
of the quote unquote nice variety, not kind, but nice,
like not wanting to rock the boat. It's like, if
you're going to be chill about money, you gotta be
able to be afford to be chill about money. If
you were ever going to pay their side of the rent,
you have to do so knowing that there would be
(07:26):
some level of consequence by the end, whether that means
you don't get that money back by a certain time
or at all, that means that you have to pay
an additional month just to like kind of figure this out, Like,
there are consequences that come along with being chill about money.
You have to be able to afford that. So since
we're past that point that they should have spoken up
about this and said we gotta you know, I'm assuming
(07:48):
that the rent of the landlord said hey, within two months,
within three months, you will, like our rent will increase.
It wasn't like a okay, immediately next month, is what
I'm assuming. Perhaps y'all disagree with me and care cool
with it, but like I would imagine there was sub
level of warning and they both just kind of kept
quiet about it until it became a whole issue. And
then because the run through rote to you didn't like
(08:10):
was fine paying that part? Like there's a certain consequence here,
at which point I think now the answer is, how
can we creatively get out of this? Figure out the situation?
Can we sublet your room? Where else can you go?
Can you get outside a part time job for a moment?
What are our options? Because we have to start the
conversation most who started the conversation yet? Which is the
issue here in.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
My opinion, JQ, you think that she owes her money?
Speaker 3 (08:33):
I mean, if you're paying this additional I mean unless
you're like, Okay, you got these past three months, the
three past months I got, and then after that we're
even we're gonna split it the way we said. But yeah,
I think it's just unfortunately the conversation is going to
be uncomfortable. But I think the anticipation of the conversation
(08:53):
is likely making you more miserable than actually having it is.
That's what I find because there are times where I'm like,
if I beat around the bush and if I avoid
and once I do it. I'm like, oh, I mean,
it wasn't fun, but it's done and I came out
on the other side. And if you need to, maybe
you all have a mutual friends. Granted I understand if
y'all don't want someone in your business, but maybe someone
who could serve as a mediator or like, how can
(09:15):
we figure this out? And this is assuming that your
landlord is acting like in good faith, because if they
pulled a switcher roo on you, that maybe they shouldn't have.
Also look into your local tent laws, you know, because
if that what their behavior isn't on the up and up,
maybe y'all both deserve some compensation, you know, like how
much notice does a landlord have to give before the
(09:36):
rent is raised? Is there a cap on how much
the rent can be raised?
Speaker 1 (09:39):
DC, we have.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Some relatively good tenant laws. And also like automatically you're
month to month if you do not resign a lease.
So depending on the situation, it may even be worth
it for you to break a lease and find a
cheaper place for you to live on your own, and
that would put your friend in an unfortunate spot. But
then perhaps they could find a place that they can
also afford.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I think that's really smart, especially like looking into your
local tenants laws I used to. I've lived in both,
like do do y'all have? Like, well, I know, Alexa,
you're subletting right now, but I've lived in apartments where
it was like I lived in someone's basement and my
landlord is just the homeowner. And this has all been
in New York. Or also like lived in like a
big building with like a management company and everything is
(10:21):
like very by the books, and there are some situations
that are more flexible than others. I feel like if
I was the one paying the extra two point fifty
for my roommate, I wouldn't ask for the money back.
I kind of agree with what Alexa was saying about
how if you're going to be flexible with money, if
you're going to offer it up, then don't expect to
get it back. And I have done that, and I
just feel like it's fast tracked to like conflict and
(10:44):
in a bad way, like to be disappointed. If you're
going to like expect this person who doesn't have the
money today to suddenly come up with it a couple
months from now, and then oh, two months worth of
that money that you lent them, just like but at
the same time, like clarity is kindness in the sense
of when you doing that, you have to either say
either way, I'm expecting this back and here's how it's
gonna work, or I'm going to float you for two
(11:06):
months and if you can figure this out, that's great.
If you can't, just call it even and you can
move on. But you got to move on to your
own place, because I don't want to keep up this
kind of spending.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
If you are going to spend money on someone in
any way without clearly making it none that you expect
to have this money come back to you by a
certain point in a certain way, that is charity. You
signed off all right to that money, now, you know. So,
Like even with my situation in DC, we had to
make it very clear between all three of us, Okay,
here's when we will all move out. Here's how long
(11:39):
this other third roommate will be responsible for paying her
part of the rent even though she's no longer living here,
just to give us some time to save up to
figure out how we're going to pay rent. When we
were splitting three ways versus now two, and we were
all very amenable to it, specifically because of the way
the contract was written and the fact that we we
came up with it in a way of, Hey, we're
all in a sticky situation here, how can we all
(12:00):
benefit one another? It's the best of our ability. How
can we be aware of you know, each other outside
of ourselves, you know, not be selfish about our approach here?
It takes an enormous amount of maturity to be able
to have that conversation.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
How did y'all come up with the contract language? Did
you just use like an AI?
Speaker 1 (12:17):
You know what's so funny is yes, we did have
chat GPT write up a contract. One of us, however,
is a lawyer, so she refined the language. Yeah, very helpful.
She refined the language a little bit for us, and
then we both made we all three made it some
certain edits to make it more menable to what we
individually needed, and then from there we signed and just
sent it in between ourselves. Yeah, that was really itch
(12:39):
that started it off. It's like, how what do you do?
How do you start? This is where I'm saying this
AI can really help thousand times.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Yeah, I did a contract with someone who is like
helping me with some like a fitness trainer. I made
it up myself and I was like, this is fine.
I've read enough of them to know what I need
to put in here. It's cool, that's really smart. Okay,
but I'm really interested by Okay. So the companies bought
out your building, right, and how much notice did you?
Speaker 1 (13:01):
So you have to get out conversation that so nine months.
So the conversation, however, to sell the building started a
year prior. It was between two different buyers. It was
one was an individual, the other was a full company.
The individual was like, listen, here's what I can do.
I know you guys need a new elevator. We're a
pre war building. The elevator is literally from like the fifties.
(13:24):
People have gotten stuck in it over the summer for hours.
It's really bad. No one uses it anymore.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Ooh okay, no no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Right. So he's like, here's what I can do. I
can replace the elevator. I can install a ramp to
make this place handicap accessible, and like that was that
was pretty much it. And the others were like, so
we can give you thirty K per apartment, and on
top of that, like nine months extra time for you
to be able to move out. Right after we signed
at Jewish Point, we're life. Yeah, we're won't take thirty
(13:51):
k over a working elevator. But a lot of people
were splitting out of course between themselves. A lot of
the people in our buildings share their apartments, like by three.
Some of us got more than thirty, some of us
got less than thirty. It all depends on how long
some of you were there. And like the ratio of
how it all turned out, I have to check what
mine was. I don't remember, but it was. I was happy.
I was happy, for sure. But the whole issue came
(14:12):
and like with them pushing off the bio because with
the tariffs and whatnot, They're like, listen, we got the
construction of this building, but now it's like, are we
gonna be able to afford the construction because of the tariffs? Yeah,
so we don't know if it's gonna be sold or not.
We don't even know if we're gonna get the buyout.
So my own, my roommate, the one and I who
are sticking around are having a situation here of like
(14:34):
are we gonna have to eat this money now? That
like we're paying the part of the third roommates in
addition to our parts or is it all gonna make
sense at the end when we get the buyout, like
do we get one or not? So it's it's a gamble.
It's a gamble for sure, but we thought it through.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
That is really awkward.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Yeah, it definitely is.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
But I feel like you guys handled it well, but
now you have this like uncertainty that's really stressful. So
is that why you're subletting or just like, you know,
are you paying rent over there and rent in New
York or how's that working.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I'm doing rent over there and still letting here. But
my friend luckily is handling most of this sublet situation
for herself, like on her end, like she's paying for
some of it because it's really good to her. Yeah, exactly,
I'm house sitting. It's really where it was. My name
is like on an actual sublet agreement. But yes, which
I'm very grateful for. Believe me, I'm counting the privilege here.
I'm very grateful for the friend and all that kind
of situation.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
But yeah, yeah, and I mean having had roommates, like
it is nice to get your own space again for
a little while. Yeah, well, listener, anonymous, I should have
given you a pseudonym. Actually, you should give yourself one.
If y'all are going to be anonymous, you gotta tell
me or I'm gonna give you something like Corny, like
Felicia or Janet. I don't know, but good luck with
this situation. I want an update. I love when y'all
(15:46):
send me updates on your awkward money situations. I think, then, Alexa,
our advice really is going with compassion. But don't forget
clarity is kindness. If you did not set boundaries about
this money that you were lending her or what it
was going to be a lend or gift in the beginning,
you have to like do that now and it may
require you to eat the expense that you have spent
(16:07):
two fifty times too a couple of months you've been
paying this rent. But then also give your self grace
and give your self compassion. Don't be shy about telling
her what you need. And even though the big bad
landlord made this change, you did not, that doesn't mean
it's your responsibility to cover her rent. She got to
put her big girl pants on and either find the
money or move it on. You got to help your
(16:30):
help find another roommate for yourself, someone who can afford it.
So it's interesting how this question is like so tied
to what we talked about during the Brown table about
just the cost of housing increase and how it is
so it's rough. Yeahs is not a little bit of money.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
The ripple waves are far and wide for sure, because
now I'm thinking, even like in situations where, for example,
the roommate might have to move back in with their parents,
what kind of toll is not going to put on
the parents? And then like who does that toll? It
just continues on and on. In I hand, I hate
it for us.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Well, we all need each other. I think that she's
lucky to have a friend who could help her out
this much. But you can only do what you can
do right, and your friend will be okay. I mean,
she'll be okay. And corporate greed is the enemy as ever,
truly put it on a bumper sticker, all right, Alexa
Claire the last one standing, Thank you so much for
joining me this week. Y'all noticed JQ had a bounce,
(17:24):
but I want to thank my other guests for this
week's b A qa JQ from Vox's podcast explain it
to me. Y'all gotta go check it out. You gotta
go find Alexa and she's at Moments with Moments whack
wac on ig. I'm going to be putting it. It's
not my fault. You came up with it. I'm going
to put it in the show notes. But thank you
so much, new friend for joining me on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
It's an occupational hazard of being my friend that I
will invite you on the show eventually.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
And you'll know I liked it. I was smelling so
my cheeks were hurt in this afternoon and I got
this to yes, absolutely coming up ya.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Well, thanks for sharing with Bafam. Yeah reminder, ba Fam,
check out us on Patreon. We're at Brand Ambition podcast
on Patreon. See all the cool benefits. I'm going to
put all of that in the show notes as well,
and we'll see you Monday for another episode of Brown Ambition. Bye,
ba Fam.
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