September 15, 2025 • 39 mins
New Year’s resolutions in September? It’s take two for the ‘Call It Crew’ as they share their new round of self-care goals. Hear why back-to-school season has been a ‘wake up’ call for Jessica and Camilla, and all about the red carpet reunion we’ve been waiting to see!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Luddington,
an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Well, hello, hello, Hello, Hello Call It crew, and welcome
to an episode of Call It What It Is.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
How are you?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
I'm so good. I saw pictures of you all over
my Instagram because I get tagged in it, and I
was like, God, I'm looking gorgeous, and I realized.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
It was am I am I part of your Does
your your algorithm serve me up?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Yeah, yeah, And I'm like, oh, I look great.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
That day, we all talk about a few things because
I did a few things this weekend and you did
a few things on you did a lot on Friday.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Well, it feels like we're back to school and kind
of back to work. Which is always interesting thing about
network television is that I routinely, if not still, we'll
say I'm going back to school, I mean work, because
it follows the same sort of dance of a school year,
and so we go back to work, you know. Well,
(01:11):
in this case it was a little bit different, but
usually it feels it's it's like a school year. So yes,
everyone's back to school, and now we are definitely back
to work and starting to promote, you know, all things
that are coming your way for the fall lineup. It
still blows my mind that I'm on a new show
that's right before gras Anatomy. I can't.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
I actually can't.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
And I was like, I get so excited for you know,
you and everything, and I was like scrolling on my
Instagram and the ABC obviously I follow ABC on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Their first picture from that.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Whole because Jessica just went to our summer our end
of summer sore Yes, and you were the first p
and there carousel and I was like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Damn right, she's the first.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Well, you know, I got out of the car and
it was actually the most beautiful, you know, end of
summer night. And I think I've just been moving so
like I've just been going from thing to thing to thing.
I haven't had a lot of time to think about
the thing I'm going to next. And so I got
out of the car and there's this, you know, the
red carpet and the line to go in and it's
everyone from Dancing with the Stars, which we already know
(02:13):
how I feel about that if I know podcast, oh absolutely,
I mean now I'm like, where is my phone? Where
are all my selfies. I'm like, wanting to FaceTime my
kids from the red carpet, a super nerd. And then
as I sort of crept along, I looked over my
shoulder and I see Seandra Wilson and Meg and I'm like, no,
(02:35):
this was an incredible Uh you know, now what a
what's going on now? You guys?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Meg is our showrunner on Graze Anatomy And we're just
like we we love it, we love Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
So then we went in and took some photos and
then it was really cute cute. You know, people magazine
sets up a booth with the most talented photographer, and
it was it was like looking ahead and looking back
at the same time. Because I was like, well, they said,
will you take pictures with the Grays Anatomy as well?
Speaker 2 (03:03):
And I was like, yes, I love that. You double
showed it. You did a double bill, dude, you did
a double billing.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
I did. I did a double billing. Well, you know,
it's the same night of television Thursday nights. Thursday Nights
nine pm, nine one one Nashville and then ten pm
Gray's Anatomy Divulge all the secrets.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
I was supposed to be there with you and all the.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Crew at the ABC Summer Suire. I was asking you terribly.
We were going to have a call of what it
is people magazine photo session? I know, everyone out.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Yeah, bring the mics, just shut up the shop.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Yes, that's what I was gonna do. I was ready
for it.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Should have done it.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Coordinating outfits. I was wearing yellow, you were gonna wear
the hot pink.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Well, listen, I have some comments about this whole thing. Okay,
First of all, I was supposed to go the day
before is on Friday.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
The day before on Thursday, we shot outside.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I can't tell you guys what it is that we shop,
but we shot outside in Burbank in California in almost
one hundred degree weather for fifteen hours, you guys and
me and like the crew. We just I felt like
I was dying. I felt so nauseous. I was like
I can't even see the other actor I'm working with,
(04:13):
Like I'm dizzy sweat and so yeah, I was like
I thought, I was like, oh my god, maybe I'm
like coming down with COVID or something. The nurse came
and gave me some like hydration stuff and some tile
and on, and I was like but I think I'm
gonna just have to like skip out all the evening,
like I don't feel good.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
And even the next day I.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Was playing a little bit blah blah blah. But I
have to say, I'm so glad I didn't go because
I saw the pictures and my outfit would have looked
so not.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Right for this event. I had, what'd you go for?
I leaned all the way.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I saw summer, sure, and I thought, whatever, you would
like a hula skirt, what do you like? I went,
tweeted fall Oh no, tights.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Oh you didn't. You would have been wearing tights and
a tweet jacks.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I would have and a tweed like dress thing. Yeah, yes,
And I was gonna And I looked at the pictures.
I was like, well, thank god I didn't go. First
of all, I would have looked ridiculous next.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
To you, because you were glowing. I would have been sweating.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
You know, we just might have looked like we were
in different seasons.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Totally, but everyone else was in summer.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
But but you knew that what the weather was, right, like,
you just talked about how hot it was. So the
tweeted and the tights was totally it was a fashion
was fashion motivated or it.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Was fashion motivated. I thought like bringing fall, Yes, yeah, yeah,
I felt like.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Miranda from like the Devil War's product, like a falling.
It's the end of summer, that means fall, and so
I would have looked ridiculous, and you and everyone else
were full blown end of summer as you should have been.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
We were coming out of uh clamshells. We were, we were,
We were with fans blowing up us. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah,
it was it was. It was not It was not chilly.
It was hot. It was still hot. Los Angeles so
hot that day too. I September is very hot.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
I did do something really cool this weekend though, because
on Sunday I did do something. I just feeling just
like I could faint in the heat. My family, my
two brothers and my niece flew into town and we
went to the Oasis concert.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Of You Can I Tell You? Okay, I just need
everyone to know.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I saw everyone complaining about the Ticketmaster Taylor Swift situation. Okay,
I saw that, and I had not, luckily, very like
I understand this is so lucky.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
I did not experience.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
That right like I was able to be all schmoozy
schmoozy about the tickets right for Oasis. I ticketmastered it,
and I just need you to explain to you because
have you ever have you ever actually had to like
wait in line, wait in line on Ticketmaster?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Can I tell you what number me and my family
were on Ticketmaster because we're on on separate laptops trying
one hundred thousand in line?
Speaker 3 (06:58):
What one hundred? I was thirty thousand in line.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Four tickets in London, and then I retried them for
LA because we wanted four tickets. We couldn't get four tickets.
Retried it for LA. I was seventeen thousand in line
what I waited hours?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
But those are the numbers for just that one concert. Yes, wow,
Oasis is a lot more popular than I thought they were.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Are you kidding? It was ridiculous?
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Where'd they play?
Speaker 3 (07:27):
The Rose Bowl? It was amazing.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Yeah, it was beautiful. So you got tickets, We got tickets,
We got tickets and we got to go and it
was incredible. But I just have to say it, really,
I really understand the ticket Master pay now after ticketing Oasis.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
And were they reasonable because when I went on also,
they were just very very pricey.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
They are really expensive. I have to say, like they're
definitely expensive, like even all the way at the back,
like there's still one hundred. There's no like ninety dollars
ticket that I saw. And here's the thing that I
hate about ticket as. I just have to say, this
is really quick when it pops up on the screen.
You're a timer. You have like your certain timer. And
literally I was drenched in sweat and I'm clicking on
(08:14):
different seats and then they're going I'm checking out and
those seats are gone.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
So now I'm like, oh crap.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
So I can't even imagine. I wonder if Taylor Swift
was worse. I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
They well, they drive urgency, and then you just have
to do it. You just do it. You just press
the yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
And then you're like, yeah, sure, the thousand dollars tickets person, great,
I'm lucky on the car, I'm.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Lucky to spend this thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Yeah yeah, And then you're like, holy, I just hit
us up in the comments because I want to know
if if for Taylor's Swift, it literally people were waiting in.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Line in like the hundred thousands.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I just want to know. I don't know, Well, it
sounds stressful. And today's topic is a little bit you
sits side saddle to stress it is, which is this
this new trend which I actually had not heard about.
Had you heard about this?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
So I hadn't heard about it until you said it,
and then I had to And I still I still
am kind of confused about it what exactly it is?
And I know that you know more than me, so
I want you to like explain it a little bit.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
I started hearing about it and then I start it's
like anything when you start looking for a car, you
see the car everywhere. So all these people are talking
about locking in, which yes the phrase. I think I
first started hearing maybe like a year or so ago,
and it was more like the It was more like
the kids, you know, the teenagers. They'd be like, you
louck in, you gotta lock in, And that really just
meant like you had to wait exactly how it sounds
(09:33):
like you just you focus, you lock in and like
I am, you know, locking in on my schoolwork or
I'm locking in on my sport or I'm locking whatever
it is. But now I guess it's sort of been
around long enough, and now it's been re rejiggered so
that it's about locking in and creating better or best
(09:57):
habits and practices in the period of time between the
beginning of September and the end of December. So it's
the anti New Year's resolution, or not the anti it's
just it's moving New Year's resolutions. It's scooting it up
on the calendar. So people are making all these pledges
to do things that, you know, optimize life.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
And it's specific to fall. It's specific to like it's
lock in time. This is is it? Because this is
usually the season, the seasons where people get like more indulgent.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Right, too many pumpkin spice lattes?
Speaker 3 (10:30):
I mean, is there too many?
Speaker 4 (10:31):
I mean I've been jug about this later, but we're
steering in the opposite direction of indulgence and we're locking
into like we're gonna make this the lifestyle for the
fall winter.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
And it's it's yeah, yeah, it's it's also I.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Think it's it's pretty close to extreme discipline, like really
like I mean, it's it also sounds like an actual
grab bag of everything I've ever heard of it that's
supposed to make your life better in like one idea.
It's like vision board, manifest prepare, ten thousand staffed apps, journaling,
(11:10):
You're you're letting go, you're leveling.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Up, you're not checking phone, not checking pouel.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
I would no, definitely don't never don't your phone, packing
lunches or ordering lunches. Oh, you mean your food prepping,
Like you're just doing all this stuff while you're doing
the other stuff that you do that's already just I'm
stressing myself out to saying I know.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I was like, I can't tell.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
It's like stress to me. Okay, So my question is
if you're gonna do the they call it. They're calling
it the Great lock In for the Fall, right, Okay,
(11:51):
So if you do the Great lock In trend or
this lifestyle like rebrand, okay, are you adopting one one
thing or are you supposed to sort of like lock
in on everything like no phone, journal in ten thousand steps,
eat healthy.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Is that what it is? It seems to be whatever
you need to lock in on, and it's it's a
custom experience, is what it sounds like. So like dry
January's pretty self explandory, right, Like you're not right sober
for January. This isn't directional in what you're taking out
or not, but it's you doing a self assessment of
what it is that you need to lock in on,
and then you choose. So like I don't know, like
(12:30):
is there a goal all year long that you've been
putting off where you're like, oh, okay, am I a
specific amount of time, this is what I'm going to
lock in about. And I mean again, I'm I don't
really know. And then don't know that there's an author
to this, by the way, so there might not even
be a right way to do it. But I think
you just can make a list of the things that
you want to lock in about. Okay. Instance, I heard
(12:51):
someone say like phones, like not even in the bedroom,
Like you have a charging station outside of your bedroom,
your phone goes that night, you go that night, and
it's not no or near you. I think this is
something that actually would be beneficial for me to walk
in about.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Well, here's my thing.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
This is where I go because I watched a lot
of Dateline, so I'm like, hang on a second before
bed in bed No, I'm just saying, like someone breaks
into the house, now your phone's all the way downstairs
because you're doing the great lock in right now. You're
like working, Hell, we're walking past, like you know the
guy from screen.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
You're like, sorry, dude, I'm doing the great lock in.
I got called nine one one.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Like.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
I've got okay, let's let's be next.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
I got too specific. Maybe this was not the this
is not the right example. You know.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
I'm thinking in terms of, like, you know, listen, I
watch a lot of twenty twenty.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Okay, watch okay, so let's say it's let's say let's say.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
It's you know, it's like yeah, or you turn it off,
like by eight pm you're not looking at your phone.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
That would be great for me. I do find myself.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
I don't even want to look at the amount of
hours that I look at my phone because I look
at it so much on set.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Are you still not bringing your phone to set? I
haven't been bringing my phone to set.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Well, but now that we're about to actually genuinely premiere,
I have been wanting to get some you know, behind
the scenes yay yeatures and stuff, and I realize I
have nothing because I haven't had my phone. Yeah, you've
got to get content. Nothing happens yeah, yeah, so I've
been trying to bring it and put it in the
little pocket. But if anyone, if no one heard me
talk about this, it's because what we all know is
(14:26):
true is that if you have your phone in your pocket,
you're going to look at it, You're going to bring
it out, You're going to look at it, and you
look at one thing and you're distracted, and then you're
just start looking at something else and then you know,
if you give a mass a cookie, okay, downward from there.
But so I feel like for me it would center
more around like another one would be health and wellness.
(14:46):
I don't know, it would be great to work out
before you start your day.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
I guess like, is the lock in that you're is
part of the lock in that you're being held accountable?
So it's like if you lock in, you can't be
wishy washy about it. It's like no, yeah, okay, but
here's my question about the lock in.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Yeah, it's all this like boomerang like push pull stuff
where it's like you're supposed to put your oxygen mask
on first and take care of yourself. What if taking
care of yourself is not radically burning yourself out? Because
you're so you know, thinking that you need to do
all these different things and lock in, Like what's the
pressure part? I don't understand, Like, we already have so
(15:25):
much to do. Why do we have to do so
much more?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Yeah, I guess, I guess. And the lock in would
be like if you put your okay working out like
every single morning and food prepping like that to me
seems like, oh my god, that's.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
A lot of effort.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Right maybe at the end of I'm sure at the
end of three months you would feel four months, whatever
it is, you would feel amazing.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
But I think that the other things.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Like stopping looking at your phone at like EID or
something like that, those are things that are you're not
having to go out of your way to do and
then but they have great benefits.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
Yes, yes, Like I'm gonna be in bed every night
by this time.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
I like that. That's a good lock And I think that.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
I could definitely do without scrolling on my phone right
before bed.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
I actually cannot do that.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
You can't. I'm so bad at it.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
I can't be trusted. I can't be trusted. The other night,
I got into bed and I was so proud of
myself because it was early. It was in the sweet spot,
and I was working next morning and I was facetiming
one of the kids, and I was so proud of myself.
And then I got off the FaceTime and I was like, oh,
I'm just gonna you know, I'm gonna do a couple
of things that I always forget to do on my phone.
(16:39):
Two hours. Yeah, two hours. I think this is very
normal for a lot of people. Very tired the next day,
deeply tired, like the kind of tired. I was like,
I'm I felt like I was like in high school,
and I was like, your mom tells you I don't
get tired, and the next day you're like, yeah, exhausted. Yeah,
I was so tired. It was not It was really terrible.
(17:02):
So yeah, it really that whole thing is very real.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Okay, what is one thing? What is an area of
your life that you have already you already feel like
you've made great progress in this year?
Speaker 1 (17:15):
I know my answer.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Since I've been like a medication for my thyroid, I
one hundred percent have started to get back into working out,
which feels so satisfying. I mean, I was definitely not
so I'm very excited about that. Like I feel like
that's my little that's my little lock in that I
try and at least worked out three times a week.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Yeah, yeah, I have. I've actually I've been pretty good
about that too.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
And you feel better, you really do, you really do.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
But it is but the challenge is the timing. For me,
it's just you know, it's it's finding the time. I'm
not an afternoon.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Worker outer yeah no, me not yah yah.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
It's it's got to happen in the morning or it doesn't. Well,
here's the thing that I find to be very when
I was doing all this reading, I was thinking, you know,
the thing that really helps me in the whole hustle
culture and you got to do it all and optimize
it all and then and then do all these other things.
And when you have kids and partners and expectations and
all that stuff is I'm so helped by preparation. There
(18:15):
was this whole part of it where they were saying
that the most stressful time for parents is it's very
specific seven sixteen am during.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
You know, it's so funny, is I one hundred percent agree?
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Seven sixteen That's like seven fifteen.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Is always a nightmare. That's always around breakfast time for me,
And I think it's what it said. I think the
surf bay is what it like where we found this
is what it said. Yeah, it drives me crazy.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Yeah, because the strassers are well. So I was reading
the Strassers and it said kids that are refusing breakfast,
misplacing shoes, and then battling you to get them dressed.
And I thought, hmm, you know, I do feel like
I found a way a work around here. I set
up breakfast the night before, so it's like like like
all this stuff is like literally ready to come out
(18:57):
of the fridge or be like you know, fry up
or heat it up or whatever. So it's like soup's easy.
I put my axagen mask on first by making my
cup of coffee first, I come down before them.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Do you honestly whip up breakfast for them the night before?
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Well, I mean like whip up like are you making like.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
A scrambled egg situation?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
And oh maybe I'll crack the eggs and scramble the
eggs in the morning. I mean, like I make the eggs,
you know, fresh, but like we'll do we'll do yogurt parfase,
like I can make those beforehand, right Like I can
just do things, or I can build like a yellow
yogurt bar, and then they put in the yogurt and
the fruit and the granola and whatever.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Got it, got it, got it okay?
Speaker 1 (19:33):
At the ready That helps me a ton. I feel
like if they misplace their shoes, that's a problem for
them because they're getting in the car. If they don't
know their shoes, they're gonna be really bummed. I feel
a little hard This made me feel a little hardcore
because I also felt like battling them to get dressed.
If you don't want to wear it, then what are
you gonna wear? Like you're the one that's gonna look
(19:56):
like you're gonna look when you get to school, and
if you don't eat breakfast, you're gonna be hungry later.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
I don't think it's bad for me.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
For me, it's not battling to get dressed, because I
mean the like Hayden has to wear school uniform. There's
no like, hey, I want to wear the cool K
Pop Deven Hunter's T shirt. Right Like, I'm not having
to do that battle. But what my kids do is
they suddenly every morning remember an art project that they
haven't finished from like two years ago, and they're like,
oh my god, I have to glue the eyeballs on
(20:23):
this Pom Pom spider immediately, And so the battle becomes
like I don't know why this is the moment that
you are thinking of doing this, And so I was like,
you don't understand how much a spider means to me?
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Oh my, really great.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
It will mean something to you when you're home from school.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
He'll mean even more, he'll mean even I think the
great lock in?
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Could I think that if I woke up a little
bit earlier.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
It would help me.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Well, waking up really always helps.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
You, like earlier than the kids.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Like I wear pick up like ten minutes before the kids.
I think if I did like a full like forty
minutes before them, I would feel a little more like
in this up.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Maybe that's my lock in.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
That might be your lock in. I've done it before
and it is very it is very helpful, very very
very helpful.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
I found this question really interesting.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
How does social media influence what you think your goals
should be?
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Ah, I mean it depends.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
I think social media is so much about.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
The wellness says your algorithm.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Well, maybe it is like it leans my algorithm leans
into like these are the supplements you should be taking,
this is the and then I get really lost in
all those things. I've talked about this before, but that's
where I think that it influences what I would do,
even though it might not be right, like, oh, I
need to make this particular smoothie every day and get
(21:51):
this many the realms of protein, and yeah, but what
does your algorithm sort of feed you for a lock in?
Speaker 1 (21:58):
I get a lot of really cute dog content because
we've been talking about Golden Retrievers, Josie and I, So
I get a lot of talking dogs and Golden Retrievers.
So they're definitely not gonna help me lock into any
new behaviors that's gonna help me. But then I also
do I mean, clearly the universe things I need help
because I get a little self help. It counts a
(22:19):
lot too.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
I think that's everybody.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Yeah, it probably is, but I do feel like it
can really like you're like one good quote away from
like a rally cry, like a brave heart, like running
across the greenery the land. On that note, like on
the social emotional you know my goals. I'm actually proud
of myself. I have gotten better at when someone comes
(22:44):
to me with an issue or problem I've been I've
gotten a lot better at listening and not trying to
fix it right away.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Wow, you're a fixer.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I'm a fixer.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
That's hard for you.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
I'm sure this is challenging for me.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
What makes you? Is it as a parent too, because
that's really challenging.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, oh man.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
That's hard.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
I read somewhere like when someone's telling your problem, you
kind of like you have to ask them like do
you want me to be the listener? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Or do you want me to help you?
Speaker 2 (23:14):
And it's like then you are given your marching orders
as you would say yeah, and then you would understand
how what they need.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Yeah, because it's very important. I think it's in every
department truly, because it's so what's your relationship, how well
do you know each other? What does someone need from
you in that moment? But for kids, I think, or adolescens,
I think that you know, when they're little, of course,
we fix it for them, like that's our actual job.
It's in our job description. We fix it, we solve it,
(23:45):
we do the work, we figure it out. But then
when they get older, it's actually imperative that they know
how to fix their own problems and that they can
get themselves out of a jam. And if you're doing
it for them, then you're actually taking your robbing them
of the opportunity to learn and grow and just because
you know what the answer is. By the way, also,
they're not going to always listen to you, because guess what,
(24:07):
turns out the kids don't always listen to theirs when
they get to be teenager. As a matter of fact,
many books, novels, and songs are about how they're not
going to listen to us. Right, So I think that
I've been. I hope i've been. There have been reports.
I've gotten some actual reporting that I'm getting a little better,
just like and also like sitting with the sads, sometimes
(24:28):
people just want to be sad. They don't want you
to cheer them up, right, Like sometimes people just want
to have a problem and scream with the guy. And
that's okay, it's actually valuable.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
I think that's interesting that I see these could be
locked in things where you like get better at things
like this, where you're like, you know what, from nown
till suchever, I'm going to be really really locked in
on not always trying to solve stuff, being a good listener,
and kind of reading the room when I need to
step in and help.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
So I think this is kind of cool because immediately
my mind always went to, like, okay, the proteins smoothie
and the five am workout, and then then the goods
steps and then you know, but I don't. I think
it can be whatever. Then it fits your life. I
know you, And I was gonna say those around you,
(25:17):
but I don't really think it's about those around you.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
I think it's about you, right, Yeah, Yeah, I think also,
you know, we whenever you start something new, you you
have like a blank slate, and so I think you
you're you're even new opportunity to create new pathways and
patterns and relationships. And when it's me, I try to
(25:40):
show up in my very best self and take what
I've learned before and bring it into the present in
the future. And so I think it's just a lot
of It's been a lot of listening and I'm learning
people's operating instructions because man, you know, everybody's different, just
so so so different, and perspective and interpretation is just
(26:01):
you know, can be very very different.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
It's funny because one of the questions we got to
is does back to school energy give you momentum ill
completely drain you?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
And my theory, I've been sitting here wondering give you
a momentum or drain you?
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
And I've been sitting here wondering why September, Like, what
is it about Septetember? And September is when all our
kids are back in school? If your mama right, sure,
And so I feel like then you you're kind of
your time is freed up in a way that it
wasn't in the summer, right, And so I wonder if
to me, I think it does kind of give you momentum,
(26:37):
And so I wonder if that's why, like the lock
in is in September.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
I'm just trying to I'm.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Just realizing, yeah, well, you're you're setting up new systems, right,
so you do have I was thinking, I do get
energized by newness, So I do feel like there's a momentum.
Then every once in a while, it's just it's just
like it's there's there's there's a tipping point. They're just
like one email too many and then it's just a
kick in the teeth and then I'm drained.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Yeah, the password, the school password comes and then yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Maybe I need to lock in on the school passwords.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
I know them all.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Yeah, and yeah, we don't even get me and my
my my phone are having a fight because you know,
the whole save and fill your password thing. Oh yeah, well,
I mean if you're going to offer it, then can
you get it right?
Speaker 2 (27:29):
By the way, I love it when they offer up
a password.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Yeah, yeah, and then it's wrong.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Those are hieroglyphs. Yeah, that is what password. I don't
even know. I will never remember that, so you will
always have to remember that.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Can we talk about another term that we're seeing a
lot and I don't I really don't quite understand. Oh,
which is radical acceptance.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
I love talking about this, do you can you?
Speaker 2 (28:11):
I'm like, I read what it sort of means, and
I think I'm not grasping it. So I'll let you
take the floor on it, so then then we can
talk about it.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Okay, Well it's I've shortened it to just all right, okay.
Situations where I'm like, I'm in a moment and it's like, oh,
all right, we're just we're radically accepting this if we're
backing into it. The most compelling part of radical acceptance
as an idea or an insight is that it transforms
(28:43):
unavoidable pain, because pain is inevitable in life, right, there's okay,
if you're gonna live, you're gonna be in pain, emotional pain,
for the pain, whatever. And it transforms the unavoidable pain
into bearable and sometimes even meaningful if you can figure
out why the pain is there as an experience. And
then it takes away the suffering piece because you're not
(29:04):
resisting the pain. You're not going, oh, this is gonna
be so painful. It's gonna be so painful. You're like, yeah,
this is gonna be so painful. I have a whatever
you to fill in the blank. And obviously the spectrum
is wide, but like, I have to wake up, you know,
I have to wake up at five am tomorrow. I
have to wake up at four am tomorrow to go
to work, and it's gonna be so painful, and my
whole night is gonna be different, and I'm gonna have
to go to betterly and blah blah. And you could
go down a route of all the things that you're
(29:26):
gonna miss by this four am wake up and how
hard it's gonna be, and you're envisioning how hard it's
going to be to get in the shower and then
the car and it'll be dark, and or you can
accept that you're waking up at four am tomorrow and
you don't need to suffer through it because it's happening
no matter what, that wake up is happening, So you
(29:46):
can go into it knowing that it's gonna happen, and
you don't have to not be tired or whatever or
not change your night. But you're just it's it's it's
it's in the name. It's accepting it. If it's your
choice to beat someone who wakes up for work at
four am, instead of fighting it or resisting it or saying,
oh my gosh, this is too hard or so hard,
(30:06):
you just go, yeah, it's happening, I'm doing it, And
how how am I going to show up for it?
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Okay, I have a question. I understand that.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
How does this work in terms of like your relationship
with other people?
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Oh gosh, this is going to be me and you
my Mel Robbins again, or is this a Mel Robbins
interview all over again.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
No, no, no, no, it's not no, no no, I
just know I'm really honestly trying to like understand what
it means in terms of that because I understand that, okay,
get that perfect, I understand that. So then well, how
how does it translate when you're with other people? Give
me an example, like, okay, so someone hurts your feelings? Yeah, okay,
(30:48):
is is it a little let them?
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (30:51):
Kind of?
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Like yes?
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Said mel Robins. I was like, because it's not. And
we got focused on this when we were interviewing her,
because and along with the rest of the world, is
it because let them became the top note, the let
me after it got sort of yeah, was playing in
the shadows and radical acceptance. They're it's very much in partnership.
(31:13):
If you're if you're if you're making the analogy to
let them, it's it's the it's the let them and
then let me. So if someone hurts your feelings and
they're morrible, you don't have to say, oh, they didn't
mean it. You don't have to resist it. You don't
have to say, oh they're it's okay, you don't have
to make excuses for them. Anything, they can have done
something really hurtful and you can name that and like
(31:34):
that person really hurt my feelings. And then you get
to decide what you're going to do about it, like
are you going to continue to let them hurt your feelings?
Are you to continue to are you going to say anything?
Are you not going to say anything? But radical acceptances
they hurt your feelings? Now, what are you going to
do about it? You're not denying it? So so like
so there's like there's different key.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
You're sort of moving past like almost a festering on
the thing and just accepting like, Okay.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
That absolutely sucks. That's in that and now what Yes,
I did love this part of it.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
I thought I read this part of it and I
just thought this was amazing, which was compassion for self
and others. Radical acceptance extends to ourselves, acknowledging our own flaws, mistakes,
and limits without endless self punishment. And it also fosters
empathy as we stop demanding that people, including ourselves. I
(32:28):
really like that because I feel like people spend so
much energy trying to change somebody else. Yeah, and it's
wasted energy.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
And if you want that person in your life. It's
one thing. If you want to create a boundary, you're like, Okay,
I'm done with this.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
If you want to keep that person in your life
and you love that person, you might be need to
lean on radical acceptance to have that relationship with them, Yes, and.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Accept that they are who they are. And yeah, you
can be who you are and exactly like you said,
you can have boundaries. But I also think it's this
also piece, which is like there's the pain versus suffering,
Like the pain is inevitable, yeah, but suffering the replaying
of the pain, the resisting the fact that it's true.
(33:16):
You know, I mean, think about the stages of grief right,
like denial, the anger about it, or wishing it was different.
That is that is the optional part, do you know
what I mean? Like you don't have to do that.
That actually, in my opinion, for me, makes the pain
last longer. It stays with me if I gauge in
(33:37):
any of that, if I resist it, if I replay it,
or if I wish it was different, it stays with
me so much longer than facing it. And I can
be very avoided it. If I face it, I just
I'm able to move forward. And be like, this is
what it is. This is it is in the name,
call it what it is.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
So, and I don't think that your reality can change
until you accept it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
I do think suffering can be so sticky you can
literally it's like quicksand like it can just swallow you
and it's really hard to get out. And I guess
what I'm gathering is that radical acceptance freeze you over that.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Because you're empowered. You're empowered to respond to the real
You're empowered to respond to what is, and you stop
the shenanigans that happen in our brain that make us,
you know, avoid Okay, I really like this.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
I'm just processing as you're talking about it.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
I really because also it sits really really close to
something that I think everyone struggles with on some level,
which is you can't control it all. You cannot. So
this idea that you can, it's sure it has you know,
there's brain science that supports why we do it, but
(35:00):
we can't, and there's real wisdom in letting it go.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
I wish I'd known this in my twenties, when, like
you know, I went through like a terrible breakup or something,
and I just known that, like, there was so much
sitting in it and in the suffering and the replaying
the memories and the whys and the and if I
the sooner I would have come to radical acceptance, the
(35:25):
better off I would have been because those that time
was kind of wasted, right. Yeah, And and I think
you can warn at the same time as radical acceptance,
but a lot of us do the suffering without any acceptance.
I was suffering and also asking why and wondering when
this relationship can come.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Back to what was making you suffer?
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Yes, yes, yes, that was creating.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Yeah yeah, And you know again, the spectrum is wide,
and it can be something super trivial and then it
can be something super deep. But I'm telling you it
really really helps me and I And it's funny. I'm
not trying to say that I have like, you know,
superpowers here, but watch if you are practicing it how
(36:16):
much and you're and honestly, it takes a little bit
of discipline, so maybe it's definitely a lock in.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
It may just a lock in.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
Maybe radical acceptance is all you have.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
To be disciplined because you have to notice that you're
doing it and then you have to stop, stop it
and I've noticed that, you know, I mean, I don't know.
It's like the difference between and everyone's got different stakes
around their drives to work in the morning, right, But
when you hit traffic, that's unexpected. Radical acceptance is you're
in traffic. You're not going to all of a sudden
(36:45):
sprout wings office in your car and get up and
try and get past it.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Right. So I gotta say, like your because you know,
a lay traffic justs and I have that every day.
Radical acceptance of traffic might be the hardest one, might be.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
The hardest one. But now we have phones and we
have ways of telling people we're gonna be laid and like,
what are we gonna do again? We're not gonna travelings
out the side and we're not gonna fly. And what
I've noticed, and this was my point, is that when
you look around, the people who don't except that they're
stuck in that car in that lane and that it's
going to free up when it frees up, are losing
(37:21):
their ship.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
Yeah, and it's suffering for no.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Reason because the losing there isn't going to change the
circumstance of the traffic.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Yeah. Yeah, it's actually a really good metaphor, because I
think that you can sit here and be like, oh, yeah,
the traffic is could be so many things, and you're right,
you're stuck in it anyway.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
Yeah, and how are you going to spend that time?
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yes, okay, And by the way, you're going to start
to see how people deal with it. And I have
noticed that I want to be with people who don't
lose their ship when we hit the traffic. They're much
they're much more enjoy to be around. Of course, in all,
in all areas of your life, truly, like whether you're
(38:04):
dealing with you know, your kid's school, your work, your family,
your whatever, it's it's just it's it's it's really interesting.
So yeah, I'm ari for the win.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
No, I think I think now I'm understanding I wasn't
really getting it, and now I'm understanding it, and I'm
I fully think that this is.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Really Oh I love it.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
I just love it.
Speaker 3 (38:26):
I can fully embrace this great.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
I love it. I love it.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Well, Okay, we've covered lock ins.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
We have covered radical ideas for lock ins. For me, No,
I know, I was thinking, I'm like, God, I probably
need to lock in on so much.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
That's okay, all right, well you want to call it, yeah,
let's call it. The the end of the episode,
Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Luddington,
an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Well, hello, hello, Hello, Hello Call It crew, and welcome
to an episode of Call It What It Is.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
How are you?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
I'm so good. I saw pictures of you all over
my Instagram because I get tagged in it, and I
was like, God, I'm looking gorgeous, and I realized.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
It was am I am I part of your Does
your your algorithm serve me up?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Yeah, yeah, And I'm like, oh, I look great.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
That day, we all talk about a few things because
I did a few things this weekend and you did
a few things on you did a lot on Friday.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Well, it feels like we're back to school and kind
of back to work. Which is always interesting thing about
network television is that I routinely, if not still, we'll
say I'm going back to school, I mean work, because
it follows the same sort of dance of a school year,
and so we go back to work, you know. Well,
(01:11):
in this case it was a little bit different, but
usually it feels it's it's like a school year. So yes,
everyone's back to school, and now we are definitely back
to work and starting to promote, you know, all things
that are coming your way for the fall lineup. It
still blows my mind that I'm on a new show
that's right before gras Anatomy. I can't.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
I actually can't.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
And I was like, I get so excited for you know,
you and everything, and I was like scrolling on my
Instagram and the ABC obviously I follow ABC on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Their first picture from that.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Whole because Jessica just went to our summer our end
of summer sore Yes, and you were the first p
and there carousel and I was like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Damn right, she's the first.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Well, you know, I got out of the car and
it was actually the most beautiful, you know, end of
summer night. And I think I've just been moving so
like I've just been going from thing to thing to thing.
I haven't had a lot of time to think about
the thing I'm going to next. And so I got
out of the car and there's this, you know, the
red carpet and the line to go in and it's
everyone from Dancing with the Stars, which we already know
(02:13):
how I feel about that if I know podcast, oh absolutely,
I mean now I'm like, where is my phone? Where
are all my selfies. I'm like, wanting to FaceTime my
kids from the red carpet, a super nerd. And then
as I sort of crept along, I looked over my
shoulder and I see Seandra Wilson and Meg and I'm like, no,
(02:35):
this was an incredible Uh you know, now what a
what's going on now? You guys?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Meg is our showrunner on Graze Anatomy And we're just
like we we love it, we love Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
So then we went in and took some photos and
then it was really cute cute. You know, people magazine
sets up a booth with the most talented photographer, and
it was it was like looking ahead and looking back
at the same time. Because I was like, well, they said,
will you take pictures with the Grays Anatomy as well?
Speaker 2 (03:03):
And I was like, yes, I love that. You double
showed it. You did a double bill, dude, you did
a double billing.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
I did. I did a double billing. Well, you know,
it's the same night of television Thursday nights. Thursday Nights
nine pm, nine one one Nashville and then ten pm
Gray's Anatomy Divulge all the secrets.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
I was supposed to be there with you and all the.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Crew at the ABC Summer Suire. I was asking you terribly.
We were going to have a call of what it
is people magazine photo session? I know, everyone out.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Yeah, bring the mics, just shut up the shop.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Yes, that's what I was gonna do. I was ready
for it.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Should have done it.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Coordinating outfits. I was wearing yellow, you were gonna wear
the hot pink.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Well, listen, I have some comments about this whole thing. Okay,
First of all, I was supposed to go the day
before is on Friday.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
The day before on Thursday, we shot outside.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I can't tell you guys what it is that we shop,
but we shot outside in Burbank in California in almost
one hundred degree weather for fifteen hours, you guys and
me and like the crew. We just I felt like
I was dying. I felt so nauseous. I was like
I can't even see the other actor I'm working with,
(04:13):
Like I'm dizzy sweat and so yeah, I was like
I thought, I was like, oh my god, maybe I'm
like coming down with COVID or something. The nurse came
and gave me some like hydration stuff and some tile
and on, and I was like but I think I'm
gonna just have to like skip out all the evening,
like I don't feel good.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
And even the next day I.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Was playing a little bit blah blah blah. But I
have to say, I'm so glad I didn't go because
I saw the pictures and my outfit would have looked
so not.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Right for this event. I had, what'd you go for?
I leaned all the way.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I saw summer, sure, and I thought, whatever, you would
like a hula skirt, what do you like? I went,
tweeted fall Oh no, tights.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Oh you didn't. You would have been wearing tights and
a tweet jacks.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I would have and a tweed like dress thing. Yeah, yes,
And I was gonna And I looked at the pictures.
I was like, well, thank god I didn't go. First
of all, I would have looked ridiculous next.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
To you, because you were glowing. I would have been sweating.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
You know, we just might have looked like we were
in different seasons.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Totally, but everyone else was in summer.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
But but you knew that what the weather was, right, like,
you just talked about how hot it was. So the
tweeted and the tights was totally it was a fashion
was fashion motivated or it.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Was fashion motivated. I thought like bringing fall, Yes, yeah, yeah,
I felt like.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Miranda from like the Devil War's product, like a falling.
It's the end of summer, that means fall, and so
I would have looked ridiculous, and you and everyone else
were full blown end of summer as you should have been.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
We were coming out of uh clamshells. We were, we were,
We were with fans blowing up us. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah,
it was it was. It was not It was not chilly.
It was hot. It was still hot. Los Angeles so
hot that day too. I September is very hot.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
I did do something really cool this weekend though, because
on Sunday I did do something. I just feeling just
like I could faint in the heat. My family, my
two brothers and my niece flew into town and we
went to the Oasis concert.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Of You Can I Tell You? Okay, I just need
everyone to know.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I saw everyone complaining about the Ticketmaster Taylor Swift situation. Okay,
I saw that, and I had not, luckily, very like
I understand this is so lucky.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
I did not experience.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
That right like I was able to be all schmoozy
schmoozy about the tickets right for Oasis. I ticketmastered it,
and I just need you to explain to you because
have you ever have you ever actually had to like
wait in line, wait in line on Ticketmaster?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Can I tell you what number me and my family
were on Ticketmaster because we're on on separate laptops trying
one hundred thousand in line?
Speaker 3 (06:58):
What one hundred? I was thirty thousand in line.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Four tickets in London, and then I retried them for
LA because we wanted four tickets. We couldn't get four tickets.
Retried it for LA. I was seventeen thousand in line
what I waited hours?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
But those are the numbers for just that one concert. Yes, wow,
Oasis is a lot more popular than I thought they were.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Are you kidding? It was ridiculous?
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Where'd they play?
Speaker 3 (07:27):
The Rose Bowl? It was amazing.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Yeah, it was beautiful. So you got tickets, We got tickets,
We got tickets and we got to go and it
was incredible. But I just have to say it, really,
I really understand the ticket Master pay now after ticketing Oasis.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
And were they reasonable because when I went on also,
they were just very very pricey.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
They are really expensive. I have to say, like they're
definitely expensive, like even all the way at the back,
like there's still one hundred. There's no like ninety dollars
ticket that I saw. And here's the thing that I
hate about ticket as. I just have to say, this
is really quick when it pops up on the screen.
You're a timer. You have like your certain timer. And
literally I was drenched in sweat and I'm clicking on
(08:14):
different seats and then they're going I'm checking out and
those seats are gone.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
So now I'm like, oh crap.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
So I can't even imagine. I wonder if Taylor Swift
was worse. I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
They well, they drive urgency, and then you just have
to do it. You just do it. You just press
the yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
And then you're like, yeah, sure, the thousand dollars tickets person, great,
I'm lucky on the car, I'm.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Lucky to spend this thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Yeah yeah, And then you're like, holy, I just hit
us up in the comments because I want to know
if if for Taylor's Swift, it literally people were waiting in.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Line in like the hundred thousands.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I just want to know. I don't know, Well, it
sounds stressful. And today's topic is a little bit you
sits side saddle to stress it is, which is this
this new trend which I actually had not heard about.
Had you heard about this?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
So I hadn't heard about it until you said it,
and then I had to And I still I still
am kind of confused about it what exactly it is?
And I know that you know more than me, so
I want you to like explain it a little bit.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
I started hearing about it and then I start it's
like anything when you start looking for a car, you
see the car everywhere. So all these people are talking
about locking in, which yes the phrase. I think I
first started hearing maybe like a year or so ago,
and it was more like the It was more like
the kids, you know, the teenagers. They'd be like, you
louck in, you gotta lock in, And that really just
meant like you had to wait exactly how it sounds
(09:33):
like you just you focus, you lock in and like
I am, you know, locking in on my schoolwork or
I'm locking in on my sport or I'm locking whatever
it is. But now I guess it's sort of been
around long enough, and now it's been re rejiggered so
that it's about locking in and creating better or best
(09:57):
habits and practices in the period of time between the
beginning of September and the end of December. So it's
the anti New Year's resolution, or not the anti it's
just it's moving New Year's resolutions. It's scooting it up
on the calendar. So people are making all these pledges
to do things that, you know, optimize life.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
And it's specific to fall. It's specific to like it's
lock in time. This is is it? Because this is
usually the season, the seasons where people get like more indulgent.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Right, too many pumpkin spice lattes?
Speaker 3 (10:30):
I mean, is there too many?
Speaker 4 (10:31):
I mean I've been jug about this later, but we're
steering in the opposite direction of indulgence and we're locking
into like we're gonna make this the lifestyle for the
fall winter.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
And it's it's yeah, yeah, it's it's also I.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Think it's it's pretty close to extreme discipline, like really
like I mean, it's it also sounds like an actual
grab bag of everything I've ever heard of it that's
supposed to make your life better in like one idea.
It's like vision board, manifest prepare, ten thousand staffed apps, journaling,
(11:10):
You're you're letting go, you're leveling.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Up, you're not checking phone, not checking pouel.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
I would no, definitely don't never don't your phone, packing
lunches or ordering lunches. Oh, you mean your food prepping,
Like you're just doing all this stuff while you're doing
the other stuff that you do that's already just I'm
stressing myself out to saying I know.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I was like, I can't tell.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
It's like stress to me. Okay, So my question is
if you're gonna do the they call it. They're calling
it the Great lock In for the Fall, right, Okay,
(11:51):
So if you do the Great lock In trend or
this lifestyle like rebrand, okay, are you adopting one one
thing or are you supposed to sort of like lock
in on everything like no phone, journal in ten thousand steps,
eat healthy.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Is that what it is? It seems to be whatever
you need to lock in on, and it's it's a
custom experience, is what it sounds like. So like dry
January's pretty self explandory, right, Like you're not right sober
for January. This isn't directional in what you're taking out
or not, but it's you doing a self assessment of
what it is that you need to lock in on,
and then you choose. So like I don't know, like
(12:30):
is there a goal all year long that you've been
putting off where you're like, oh, okay, am I a
specific amount of time, this is what I'm going to
lock in about. And I mean again, I'm I don't
really know. And then don't know that there's an author
to this, by the way, so there might not even
be a right way to do it. But I think
you just can make a list of the things that
you want to lock in about. Okay. Instance, I heard
(12:51):
someone say like phones, like not even in the bedroom,
Like you have a charging station outside of your bedroom,
your phone goes that night, you go that night, and
it's not no or near you. I think this is
something that actually would be beneficial for me to walk
in about.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Well, here's my thing.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
This is where I go because I watched a lot
of Dateline, so I'm like, hang on a second before
bed in bed No, I'm just saying, like someone breaks
into the house, now your phone's all the way downstairs
because you're doing the great lock in right now. You're
like working, Hell, we're walking past, like you know the
guy from screen.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
You're like, sorry, dude, I'm doing the great lock in.
I got called nine one one.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Like.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
I've got okay, let's let's be next.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
I got too specific. Maybe this was not the this
is not the right example. You know.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
I'm thinking in terms of, like, you know, listen, I
watch a lot of twenty twenty.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Okay, watch okay, so let's say it's let's say let's say.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
It's you know, it's like yeah, or you turn it off,
like by eight pm you're not looking at your phone.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
That would be great for me. I do find myself.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
I don't even want to look at the amount of
hours that I look at my phone because I look
at it so much on set.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Are you still not bringing your phone to set? I
haven't been bringing my phone to set.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Well, but now that we're about to actually genuinely premiere,
I have been wanting to get some you know, behind
the scenes yay yeatures and stuff, and I realize I
have nothing because I haven't had my phone. Yeah, you've
got to get content. Nothing happens yeah, yeah, so I've
been trying to bring it and put it in the
little pocket. But if anyone, if no one heard me
talk about this, it's because what we all know is
(14:26):
true is that if you have your phone in your pocket,
you're going to look at it, You're going to bring
it out, You're going to look at it, and you
look at one thing and you're distracted, and then you're
just start looking at something else and then you know,
if you give a mass a cookie, okay, downward from there.
But so I feel like for me it would center
more around like another one would be health and wellness.
(14:46):
I don't know, it would be great to work out
before you start your day.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
I guess like, is the lock in that you're is
part of the lock in that you're being held accountable?
So it's like if you lock in, you can't be
wishy washy about it. It's like no, yeah, okay, but
here's my question about the lock in.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Yeah, it's all this like boomerang like push pull stuff
where it's like you're supposed to put your oxygen mask
on first and take care of yourself. What if taking
care of yourself is not radically burning yourself out? Because
you're so you know, thinking that you need to do
all these different things and lock in, Like what's the
pressure part? I don't understand, Like, we already have so
(15:25):
much to do. Why do we have to do so
much more?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Yeah, I guess, I guess. And the lock in would
be like if you put your okay working out like
every single morning and food prepping like that to me
seems like, oh my god, that's.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
A lot of effort.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Right maybe at the end of I'm sure at the
end of three months you would feel four months, whatever
it is, you would feel amazing.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
But I think that the other things.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Like stopping looking at your phone at like EID or
something like that, those are things that are you're not
having to go out of your way to do and
then but they have great benefits.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
Yes, yes, Like I'm gonna be in bed every night
by this time.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
I like that. That's a good lock And I think that.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
I could definitely do without scrolling on my phone right
before bed.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
I actually cannot do that.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
You can't. I'm so bad at it.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
I can't be trusted. I can't be trusted. The other night,
I got into bed and I was so proud of
myself because it was early. It was in the sweet spot,
and I was working next morning and I was facetiming
one of the kids, and I was so proud of myself.
And then I got off the FaceTime and I was like, oh,
I'm just gonna you know, I'm gonna do a couple
of things that I always forget to do on my phone.
(16:39):
Two hours. Yeah, two hours. I think this is very
normal for a lot of people. Very tired the next day,
deeply tired, like the kind of tired. I was like,
I'm I felt like I was like in high school,
and I was like, your mom tells you I don't
get tired, and the next day you're like, yeah, exhausted. Yeah,
I was so tired. It was not It was really terrible.
(17:02):
So yeah, it really that whole thing is very real.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Okay, what is one thing? What is an area of
your life that you have already you already feel like
you've made great progress in this year?
Speaker 1 (17:15):
I know my answer.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Since I've been like a medication for my thyroid, I
one hundred percent have started to get back into working out,
which feels so satisfying. I mean, I was definitely not
so I'm very excited about that. Like I feel like
that's my little that's my little lock in that I
try and at least worked out three times a week.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Yeah, yeah, I have. I've actually I've been pretty good
about that too.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
And you feel better, you really do, you really do.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
But it is but the challenge is the timing. For me,
it's just you know, it's it's finding the time. I'm
not an afternoon.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Worker outer yeah no, me not yah yah.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
It's it's got to happen in the morning or it doesn't. Well,
here's the thing that I find to be very when
I was doing all this reading, I was thinking, you know,
the thing that really helps me in the whole hustle
culture and you got to do it all and optimize
it all and then and then do all these other things.
And when you have kids and partners and expectations and
all that stuff is I'm so helped by preparation. There
(18:15):
was this whole part of it where they were saying
that the most stressful time for parents is it's very
specific seven sixteen am during.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
You know, it's so funny, is I one hundred percent agree?
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Seven sixteen That's like seven fifteen.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Is always a nightmare. That's always around breakfast time for me,
And I think it's what it said. I think the
surf bay is what it like where we found this
is what it said. Yeah, it drives me crazy.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Yeah, because the strassers are well. So I was reading
the Strassers and it said kids that are refusing breakfast,
misplacing shoes, and then battling you to get them dressed.
And I thought, hmm, you know, I do feel like
I found a way a work around here. I set
up breakfast the night before, so it's like like like
all this stuff is like literally ready to come out
(18:57):
of the fridge or be like you know, fry up
or heat it up or whatever. So it's like soup's easy.
I put my axagen mask on first by making my
cup of coffee first, I come down before them.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Do you honestly whip up breakfast for them the night before?
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Well, I mean like whip up like are you making like.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
A scrambled egg situation?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
And oh maybe I'll crack the eggs and scramble the
eggs in the morning. I mean, like I make the eggs,
you know, fresh, but like we'll do we'll do yogurt parfase,
like I can make those beforehand, right Like I can
just do things, or I can build like a yellow
yogurt bar, and then they put in the yogurt and
the fruit and the granola and whatever.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Got it, got it, got it okay?
Speaker 1 (19:33):
At the ready That helps me a ton. I feel
like if they misplace their shoes, that's a problem for
them because they're getting in the car. If they don't
know their shoes, they're gonna be really bummed. I feel
a little hard This made me feel a little hardcore
because I also felt like battling them to get dressed.
If you don't want to wear it, then what are
you gonna wear? Like you're the one that's gonna look
(19:56):
like you're gonna look when you get to school, and
if you don't eat breakfast, you're gonna be hungry later.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
I don't think it's bad for me.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
For me, it's not battling to get dressed, because I
mean the like Hayden has to wear school uniform. There's
no like, hey, I want to wear the cool K
Pop Deven Hunter's T shirt. Right Like, I'm not having
to do that battle. But what my kids do is
they suddenly every morning remember an art project that they
haven't finished from like two years ago, and they're like,
oh my god, I have to glue the eyeballs on
(20:23):
this Pom Pom spider immediately, And so the battle becomes
like I don't know why this is the moment that
you are thinking of doing this, And so I was like,
you don't understand how much a spider means to me?
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Oh my, really great.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
It will mean something to you when you're home from school.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
He'll mean even more, he'll mean even I think the
great lock in?
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Could I think that if I woke up a little
bit earlier.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
It would help me.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Well, waking up really always helps.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
You, like earlier than the kids.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Like I wear pick up like ten minutes before the kids.
I think if I did like a full like forty
minutes before them, I would feel a little more like
in this up.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Maybe that's my lock in.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
That might be your lock in. I've done it before
and it is very it is very helpful, very very
very helpful.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
I found this question really interesting.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
How does social media influence what you think your goals
should be?
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Ah, I mean it depends.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
I think social media is so much about.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
The wellness says your algorithm.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Well, maybe it is like it leans my algorithm leans
into like these are the supplements you should be taking,
this is the and then I get really lost in
all those things. I've talked about this before, but that's
where I think that it influences what I would do,
even though it might not be right, like, oh, I
need to make this particular smoothie every day and get
(21:51):
this many the realms of protein, and yeah, but what
does your algorithm sort of feed you for a lock in?
Speaker 1 (21:58):
I get a lot of really cute dog content because
we've been talking about Golden Retrievers, Josie and I, So
I get a lot of talking dogs and Golden Retrievers.
So they're definitely not gonna help me lock into any
new behaviors that's gonna help me. But then I also
do I mean, clearly the universe things I need help
because I get a little self help. It counts a
(22:19):
lot too.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
I think that's everybody.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Yeah, it probably is, but I do feel like it
can really like you're like one good quote away from
like a rally cry, like a brave heart, like running
across the greenery the land. On that note, like on
the social emotional you know my goals. I'm actually proud
of myself. I have gotten better at when someone comes
(22:44):
to me with an issue or problem I've been I've
gotten a lot better at listening and not trying to
fix it right away.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Wow, you're a fixer.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I'm a fixer.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
That's hard for you.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
I'm sure this is challenging for me.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
What makes you? Is it as a parent too, because
that's really challenging.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, oh man.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
That's hard.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
I read somewhere like when someone's telling your problem, you
kind of like you have to ask them like do
you want me to be the listener? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Or do you want me to help you?
Speaker 2 (23:14):
And it's like then you are given your marching orders
as you would say yeah, and then you would understand
how what they need.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Yeah, because it's very important. I think it's in every
department truly, because it's so what's your relationship, how well
do you know each other? What does someone need from
you in that moment? But for kids, I think, or adolescens,
I think that you know, when they're little, of course,
we fix it for them, like that's our actual job.
It's in our job description. We fix it, we solve it,
(23:45):
we do the work, we figure it out. But then
when they get older, it's actually imperative that they know
how to fix their own problems and that they can
get themselves out of a jam. And if you're doing
it for them, then you're actually taking your robbing them
of the opportunity to learn and grow and just because
you know what the answer is. By the way, also,
they're not going to always listen to you, because guess what,
(24:07):
turns out the kids don't always listen to theirs when
they get to be teenager. As a matter of fact,
many books, novels, and songs are about how they're not
going to listen to us. Right, So I think that
I've been. I hope i've been. There have been reports.
I've gotten some actual reporting that I'm getting a little better,
just like and also like sitting with the sads, sometimes
(24:28):
people just want to be sad. They don't want you
to cheer them up, right, Like sometimes people just want
to have a problem and scream with the guy. And
that's okay, it's actually valuable.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
I think that's interesting that I see these could be
locked in things where you like get better at things
like this, where you're like, you know what, from nown
till suchever, I'm going to be really really locked in
on not always trying to solve stuff, being a good listener,
and kind of reading the room when I need to
step in and help.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
So I think this is kind of cool because immediately
my mind always went to, like, okay, the proteins smoothie
and the five am workout, and then then the goods
steps and then you know, but I don't. I think
it can be whatever. Then it fits your life. I
know you, And I was gonna say those around you,
(25:17):
but I don't really think it's about those around you.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
I think it's about you, right, Yeah, Yeah, I think also,
you know, we whenever you start something new, you you
have like a blank slate, and so I think you
you're you're even new opportunity to create new pathways and
patterns and relationships. And when it's me, I try to
(25:40):
show up in my very best self and take what
I've learned before and bring it into the present in
the future. And so I think it's just a lot
of It's been a lot of listening and I'm learning
people's operating instructions because man, you know, everybody's different, just
so so so different, and perspective and interpretation is just
(26:01):
you know, can be very very different.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
It's funny because one of the questions we got to
is does back to school energy give you momentum ill
completely drain you?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
And my theory, I've been sitting here wondering give you
a momentum or drain you?
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
And I've been sitting here wondering why September, Like, what
is it about Septetember? And September is when all our
kids are back in school? If your mama right, sure,
And so I feel like then you you're kind of
your time is freed up in a way that it
wasn't in the summer, right, And so I wonder if
to me, I think it does kind of give you momentum,
(26:37):
And so I wonder if that's why, like the lock
in is in September.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
I'm just trying to I'm.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Just realizing, yeah, well, you're you're setting up new systems, right,
so you do have I was thinking, I do get
energized by newness, So I do feel like there's a momentum.
Then every once in a while, it's just it's just
like it's there's there's there's a tipping point. They're just
like one email too many and then it's just a
kick in the teeth and then I'm drained.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Yeah, the password, the school password comes and then yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Maybe I need to lock in on the school passwords.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
I know them all.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Yeah, and yeah, we don't even get me and my
my my phone are having a fight because you know,
the whole save and fill your password thing. Oh yeah, well,
I mean if you're going to offer it, then can
you get it right?
Speaker 2 (27:29):
By the way, I love it when they offer up
a password.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Yeah, yeah, and then it's wrong.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Those are hieroglyphs. Yeah, that is what password. I don't
even know. I will never remember that, so you will
always have to remember that.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Can we talk about another term that we're seeing a
lot and I don't I really don't quite understand. Oh,
which is radical acceptance.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
I love talking about this, do you can you?
Speaker 2 (28:11):
I'm like, I read what it sort of means, and
I think I'm not grasping it. So I'll let you
take the floor on it, so then then we can
talk about it.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Okay, Well it's I've shortened it to just all right, okay.
Situations where I'm like, I'm in a moment and it's like, oh,
all right, we're just we're radically accepting this if we're
backing into it. The most compelling part of radical acceptance
as an idea or an insight is that it transforms
(28:43):
unavoidable pain, because pain is inevitable in life, right, there's okay,
if you're gonna live, you're gonna be in pain, emotional pain,
for the pain, whatever. And it transforms the unavoidable pain
into bearable and sometimes even meaningful if you can figure
out why the pain is there as an experience. And
then it takes away the suffering piece because you're not
(29:04):
resisting the pain. You're not going, oh, this is gonna
be so painful. It's gonna be so painful. You're like, yeah,
this is gonna be so painful. I have a whatever
you to fill in the blank. And obviously the spectrum
is wide, but like, I have to wake up, you know,
I have to wake up at five am tomorrow. I
have to wake up at four am tomorrow to go
to work, and it's gonna be so painful, and my
whole night is gonna be different, and I'm gonna have
to go to betterly and blah blah. And you could
go down a route of all the things that you're
(29:26):
gonna miss by this four am wake up and how
hard it's gonna be, and you're envisioning how hard it's
going to be to get in the shower and then
the car and it'll be dark, and or you can
accept that you're waking up at four am tomorrow and
you don't need to suffer through it because it's happening
no matter what, that wake up is happening, So you
(29:46):
can go into it knowing that it's gonna happen, and
you don't have to not be tired or whatever or
not change your night. But you're just it's it's it's
it's in the name. It's accepting it. If it's your
choice to beat someone who wakes up for work at
four am, instead of fighting it or resisting it or saying,
oh my gosh, this is too hard or so hard,
(30:06):
you just go, yeah, it's happening, I'm doing it, And
how how am I going to show up for it?
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Okay, I have a question. I understand that.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
How does this work in terms of like your relationship
with other people?
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Oh gosh, this is going to be me and you
my Mel Robbins again, or is this a Mel Robbins
interview all over again.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
No, no, no, no, it's not no, no no, I
just know I'm really honestly trying to like understand what
it means in terms of that because I understand that, okay,
get that perfect, I understand that. So then well, how
how does it translate when you're with other people? Give
me an example, like, okay, so someone hurts your feelings? Yeah, okay,
(30:48):
is is it a little let them?
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (30:51):
Kind of?
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Like yes?
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Said mel Robins. I was like, because it's not. And
we got focused on this when we were interviewing her,
because and along with the rest of the world, is
it because let them became the top note, the let
me after it got sort of yeah, was playing in
the shadows and radical acceptance. They're it's very much in partnership.
(31:13):
If you're if you're if you're making the analogy to
let them, it's it's the it's the let them and
then let me. So if someone hurts your feelings and
they're morrible, you don't have to say, oh, they didn't
mean it. You don't have to resist it. You don't
have to say, oh they're it's okay, you don't have
to make excuses for them. Anything, they can have done
something really hurtful and you can name that and like
(31:34):
that person really hurt my feelings. And then you get
to decide what you're going to do about it, like
are you going to continue to let them hurt your feelings?
Are you to continue to are you going to say anything?
Are you not going to say anything? But radical acceptances
they hurt your feelings? Now, what are you going to
do about it? You're not denying it? So so like
so there's like there's different key.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
You're sort of moving past like almost a festering on
the thing and just accepting like, Okay.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
That absolutely sucks. That's in that and now what Yes,
I did love this part of it.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
I thought I read this part of it and I
just thought this was amazing, which was compassion for self
and others. Radical acceptance extends to ourselves, acknowledging our own flaws, mistakes,
and limits without endless self punishment. And it also fosters
empathy as we stop demanding that people, including ourselves. I
(32:28):
really like that because I feel like people spend so
much energy trying to change somebody else. Yeah, and it's
wasted energy.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
And if you want that person in your life. It's
one thing. If you want to create a boundary, you're like, Okay,
I'm done with this.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
If you want to keep that person in your life
and you love that person, you might be need to
lean on radical acceptance to have that relationship with them, Yes, and.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Accept that they are who they are. And yeah, you
can be who you are and exactly like you said,
you can have boundaries. But I also think it's this
also piece, which is like there's the pain versus suffering,
Like the pain is inevitable, yeah, but suffering the replaying
of the pain, the resisting the fact that it's true.
(33:16):
You know, I mean, think about the stages of grief right,
like denial, the anger about it, or wishing it was different.
That is that is the optional part, do you know
what I mean? Like you don't have to do that.
That actually, in my opinion, for me, makes the pain
last longer. It stays with me if I gauge in
(33:37):
any of that, if I resist it, if I replay it,
or if I wish it was different, it stays with
me so much longer than facing it. And I can
be very avoided it. If I face it, I just
I'm able to move forward. And be like, this is
what it is. This is it is in the name,
call it what it is.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
So, and I don't think that your reality can change
until you accept it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
I do think suffering can be so sticky you can
literally it's like quicksand like it can just swallow you
and it's really hard to get out. And I guess
what I'm gathering is that radical acceptance freeze you over that.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Because you're empowered. You're empowered to respond to the real
You're empowered to respond to what is, and you stop
the shenanigans that happen in our brain that make us,
you know, avoid Okay, I really like this.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
I'm just processing as you're talking about it.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
I really because also it sits really really close to
something that I think everyone struggles with on some level,
which is you can't control it all. You cannot. So
this idea that you can, it's sure it has you know,
there's brain science that supports why we do it, but
(35:00):
we can't, and there's real wisdom in letting it go.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
I wish I'd known this in my twenties, when, like
you know, I went through like a terrible breakup or something,
and I just known that, like, there was so much
sitting in it and in the suffering and the replaying
the memories and the whys and the and if I
the sooner I would have come to radical acceptance, the
(35:25):
better off I would have been because those that time
was kind of wasted, right. Yeah, And and I think
you can warn at the same time as radical acceptance,
but a lot of us do the suffering without any acceptance.
I was suffering and also asking why and wondering when
this relationship can come.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Back to what was making you suffer?
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Yes, yes, yes, that was creating.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Yeah yeah, And you know again, the spectrum is wide,
and it can be something super trivial and then it
can be something super deep. But I'm telling you it
really really helps me and I And it's funny. I'm
not trying to say that I have like, you know,
superpowers here, but watch if you are practicing it how
(36:16):
much and you're and honestly, it takes a little bit
of discipline, so maybe it's definitely a lock in.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
It may just a lock in.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
Maybe radical acceptance is all you have.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
To be disciplined because you have to notice that you're
doing it and then you have to stop, stop it
and I've noticed that, you know, I mean, I don't know.
It's like the difference between and everyone's got different stakes
around their drives to work in the morning, right, But
when you hit traffic, that's unexpected. Radical acceptance is you're
in traffic. You're not going to all of a sudden
(36:45):
sprout wings office in your car and get up and
try and get past it.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Right. So I gotta say, like your because you know,
a lay traffic justs and I have that every day.
Radical acceptance of traffic might be the hardest one, might be.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
The hardest one. But now we have phones and we
have ways of telling people we're gonna be laid and like,
what are we gonna do again? We're not gonna travelings
out the side and we're not gonna fly. And what
I've noticed, and this was my point, is that when
you look around, the people who don't except that they're
stuck in that car in that lane and that it's
going to free up when it frees up, are losing
(37:21):
their ship.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
Yeah, and it's suffering for no.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Reason because the losing there isn't going to change the
circumstance of the traffic.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Yeah. Yeah, it's actually a really good metaphor, because I
think that you can sit here and be like, oh, yeah,
the traffic is could be so many things, and you're right,
you're stuck in it anyway.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
Yeah, and how are you going to spend that time?
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yes, okay, And by the way, you're going to start
to see how people deal with it. And I have
noticed that I want to be with people who don't
lose their ship when we hit the traffic. They're much
they're much more enjoy to be around. Of course, in all,
in all areas of your life, truly, like whether you're
(38:04):
dealing with you know, your kid's school, your work, your family,
your whatever, it's it's just it's it's it's really interesting.
So yeah, I'm ari for the win.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
No, I think I think now I'm understanding I wasn't
really getting it, and now I'm understanding it, and I'm
I fully think that this is.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Really Oh I love it.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
I just love it.
Speaker 3 (38:26):
I can fully embrace this great.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
I love it. I love it.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Well, Okay, we've covered lock ins.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
We have covered radical ideas for lock ins. For me, No,
I know, I was thinking, I'm like, God, I probably
need to lock in on so much.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
That's okay, all right, well you want to call it, yeah,
let's call it. The the end of the episode,
Hosts And Creators
Jessica Capshaw
Camilla Luddington
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