February 11, 2021 • 29 mins
With a mouth like a sailor and a talent for judging gymnastics and dog shows, Mimi impresses her grandson Aaron and his baseball teammates - and as we follow Mimi and Aaron’s relationship further, she reveals a tremendous inner strength and warmth that provides an invaluable lesson to her cherished grandson.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
You know this is funny. Ellen and I speak at
least twice a week. So I said, so, what's new?
What could be? No, we haven't gone out, and that
has me anything. I did get up, I take a shower,
I get dressed, I walked the dog every day to day.
What's happening between us? Now, that's the most exciting thing
in the whole pandemonium, whatever you call of this pandemic.
(00:26):
I'm going to put a notice on the bulletin board
in my lobby Rita. Bobby said to me, how can
I see it? I said, you can't see it. You
have to listen to it. That's right, That's right. So, Allen,
who's coming on the podcast today? Well? I believe that
it is me, Me and our grandson Aaron, And from
(00:46):
what I understand, they have a tremendous relationship and she
has got a very colorful life and a very colorful
way of describing it. So we're in for a very
interesting set today. Hard do you want to talk to
(01:11):
them and say, Hi? Do you want to sing? Change? Change? Chane?
No sing a song? I'm no woo woo woo. He's
an African gray. The other ones a parrot, mca are
you there? Yeah, we're here. Could my hair be any higher? Okay?
Are you gonna ask me hard questions? You'll find out. Hi.
(01:34):
I'm Aaron and this is my grandma Emi. She lives
probably half an hour away from me in somers New York.
I don't want to give up your age. I'm still alive.
He's the Messiah. He can do no wrong, and he's
never done anything wrong. My first grandchild, who I said,
after spending time with him, if I had known grandchildren
(01:56):
with this delicious, I would have bypassed my kids altogether.
It makes it a little hard for some of the
others to live up to his standard. He has two
younger cousins of both boys, both good ball players. They
have a role model to look up to. I think
it may have been Christmas and you gave everyone like
(02:17):
twenty dollars and then you snuck me the same amount again,
and you like put it in my hand and you're like,
just just hold onto this. Don't tell anyone else, though
I said to you, shut up and don't say anything.
I just said it the nicer way. But he's nicer
than I am. He's more thoughtful than I am, and
more tactful than I am. Whatever she's thinking about is
coming out. She's not gonna hold anything back. If I
(02:39):
have to guess, when I get a little bit older
and I get less shy, I'm sure I'll be in
the same exact spot and just kind of call people
out for whatever is going on. I hope so. And
I'll be looking I'm watching you, guiding you the whole way. Okay,
I'm reading these pet titles for Mimmy and end this
(03:00):
episode and part one says unfiltered baseball advice. What could
that be? We text each other all the time. After
my games, she would text me and she would just
kind of fire me up and throwing a few curse
(03:21):
words in there and make me feel better about myself
and then say I love you at the end, some
motivational stuff for sure. Do you remember Sean fo Piano? Grandma?
You would always ask about you. He always how's Mimi?
How's Mimi? And he would always when we were big
into Facebook, he would always see your posts and be
asking about you. Any time I'd say Grandma, he would
(03:41):
be like, oh, Mimi, are you talking about me? I
think you may have sent a friend request to my friend.
I sent a friend request to one of your friends.
That's not what happened. I know, I know what you're
talking about. No, he read the post that you were
and I sent to each other, and he sent me
a friend request. Oh was it? Okay? I believe you.
I believe you. And that was when they first started
(04:02):
to check me out as a pedophile. Don't believe everything
I say. They would all come over and talk to me,
and then you know, they'd say, hi, Grandma, how did
I do today? How do I look today? And you know,
it was funny how the parents would say to me.
You know, my son really likes coming over and talking
to you. I'm very comfortable, you know, with kids in sports,
(04:24):
and I'm a big promoter of kids. I think my
friends and especially kids my age, would expect grandparents to
be more like polite and just like very formal about everything,
and I'd say, you're definitely a little far from that.
So I think that can get her into trouble, even
in our own family. Her whole life, she hasn't filtered herself,
even when me and the other grandchildren were really young.
(04:46):
I treat all of you like grown ups. Yeah, And
sometimes they're shocked and I said, I did a pretty
good job raising all of you, didn't I why should
they miss out on me? I think it's a lot
more impactful than if you're just like sugarcoat and how
you say everything. Maybe sometimes I crossed the line, but already,
thank god. You think I've crossed the line a few times, Yeah,
(05:08):
I have, and I admit it. I definitely agree with it.
A lot of people in our family are very, very
very nice, and like, we'll never say anything bad about anyone,
and you kind of need someone to like say it.
How it is, if someone's doing something wrong, you gotta
say they're doing something wrong. It's a very sweet relationship.
They seem like good buddies. She's crazy about him that
(05:32):
you could see, and he's gonna get kicked out of her,
which is nice. Sometimes with a grandson, it's a little harder,
because I think that that where you have more in
common with our granddaughters, they'll come to you about clothes
or boyfriends or something like that, and boys don't necessarily
do that. But it seems that this young man and
his grandmother have a lot in comment, and the fact
(05:54):
that that his friends gravitate toward her is lovely. And
it's lovely for him. She's outrageous, Let's let's face it,
she's a little the grandmother is a little bit outrageous
in her language and her but that's okay, that's who.
But he seems to enjoy it too. But that's what
I'm saying. He appreciates it, and that his friends get
(06:14):
a kick out of it is sort of a reflection
on him. You know, your grandmother is a cool cat,
so that's that's a good thing for him, Oh reader,
a cool cat? Yeah? Well yeah, how do you like that?
That's phrase that dates us. Boy. Well, now we're into
(06:36):
part two and this is about freedom. The first thing
that comes to mind, of course, is hippies freedom. I'm
taking off my bro Ellen. Just don't do it, though,
forget it. If you and I take off my bras,
forget it. I'm very careful about what hits my feet lately.
(07:13):
Is there anything from your childhood that you'd say you miss? Yeah?
Being young? You want to know what I really miss?
The freedom, the freedom we have that you don't have now,
to be able to go out and explore and walk
in the streets and be with your friends and not
have to look over your shoulder that I'm hobbs, You're
(07:34):
gonna come to you. We all grew up in the Bronx,
in this little neighborhood where everybody knew each other, every
mother watched out for each other. Parents didn't worry. When
I went to high school in Manhattan, we would go
to parties and walk at twelve o'clock at night from
one side of Manhattan to the other. Nobody was going
(07:55):
to stop you in the park. You didn't have to
be afraid of anything. There was nothing to be afraid of.
From what I've heard, it definitely seems like things have changed.
I always knew to stay at a central park when
the sun went down. Absolutely, yeah, at different times. Did
your parents influence your personality at all? They made me
the rebel bitch I am now, Yeah, yeah they did.
(08:17):
Oh God, how much am I going to go into
I had parents that suffocated me. That generation was much
more controlling, and so I would get more of a
reaction out of them if I was a rebel. If
I had to raise a kid like me, I'd kill myself.
But they should have been more aware of what I
(08:37):
was like and why I was doing it. So while
I'm copping out. I'm kind of blaming them, but some
of the actions that I had, and that's what I
want to say, fair enough, I was much closer to
my grandparents than I was to my parents. I could
go to my grandparents and talk to them. I don't
think I really had to rebel because I was very
(08:58):
I still am very close my parents. I basically told
them anything I was doing, and we would just talk
everything through having children of my own and realizing the
things that I wanted to do with them, and finally
having the balls to say, back off, these are my kids.
You had your chance, Now give me that same chance.
I'd said. My parents definitely have that same philosophy, free thinking,
(09:21):
and you have your own opinions, and they're not gonna
interject unless there's something like drastically important. Even in those situations,
they were just talk us through all the options instead
of just telling us what to do. It definitely helps.
I think if that's the case, then I've done my
job too, for sure. It was very interesting to him
(09:42):
Mimi the explanation of her her rebel nuts and her
grandson fully understands how he understands his parents. They're very
free and letting him do his own thing, make his
own choices, and that's what Mimmi wanted. And she said
now she feels they decayed for her actions. And this
went on very in tune with her. I think that
(10:05):
there's a freedom in that relationship. There's such a sympathic
o there. Well, today, you know that the thinking is
let the kids be what they have, you know, what
they wanted, which is the right way to be today
you have to be accepting. Yes, absolutely, it's not as
easy as when we were young. I think the kids
today come out into a world that's very stressful. Generally speaking,
(10:28):
I agree totally. It's a very stressful world for these kids.
I mean I remember going into the city on the
subway late at night, meeting friends. Nobody thought of what's
going on today. I used to take my sister once
a week to the orthodontist to have her bike place
or whatever it was Titan, you know, we'd go down
the subway and we'd walk around downtown Brooklyn. I could
(10:49):
not have been more than twelve or thirteen years old,
and my sister is five years younger than I am.
And you didn't rebel. I didn't rebel. If you did,
you kept it in. I was sort of rebellious. Okay, Ellen,
you know it's time for commercial break. Okay, everybody go
to the kitchen and graba soda at a sandwich. The
(11:25):
next one is part three, Mimi comes into her own.
So did anyone encourage you to have a career when
you were young? But you have to understand, when I
grew up, there weren't very many Jewish young girls who
had careers. No nobody encouraged me to do anything. Truthfully,
(11:46):
it wasn't until I grew up a little bit and
I wanted to make more of myself than I was
that I had the confidence that my children gave me
and my husband gave me that enabled me to have
different careers. How did you and Grandpa meet? We all
grew up in the same neighborhood, and he was in
(12:10):
the older group of boys, and they hung out at
the pool room, and in those days, pool rooms were acceptable,
and I was friendly with his sister. I guess I
was fortunate, you know, a fift team, and he took
me along they were going to Fire Island, and then
I didn't see him because I went off to school
and everything, so I didn't see him for a few
years and then we all belonged to the Speech club
(12:33):
and I asked him if he would give me a
ride up to the club. And I'll never forget, he
said to me. And I'll be in the bar. If
you don't get lucky, come and get me and I'll
drive you home. And I had to come and ask
him to drive me home because I didn't get lucky.
And we started going out and then we got there
and that was it. What was he like? I haven't
(12:53):
really gotten a whole ton of details. Very handsome, very
good ballplayer, very good business man. I remember hearing that
he had to work out with the Dodgers once. He
was invited to sprint training for one year, which I
thought was really cool. I think it would have been
really cool for him to watch me play. I wish
I could have learned from him too. He would have
been so goddamn proud of you. Okay, asked me another question.
(13:17):
I'll come back to it because I'm Dr Grig. What
was it like having so many kids? Oh my god,
I loved it. I really did. I don't think i'd
be able to. And I have no idea how you
did it. And I give you so much respect for it.
So how did the two of you approach parenting together?
You know, we both came from upper middle class Jewish
families and it was a different time. We both had
(13:41):
our parents to pull back on. I think Artie was
more stripped and more structured than I was, and I
think the two of us balanced each other, so it
was good. Sometimes we talked about it and nice say
I was really the strict one. They said, are you
out of your mind? You laughed at everything we did.
Can you tell me what happened that day that grandpa died.
(14:04):
We were we were in Israel, the whole family was there.
We were on a boat and he went into the water.
He swung off the rope and he came back up
this rope thing and he said, I don't feel good.
I said, go lie down, and he had a heart
attack and died. I just wish I could have met him. Honestly,
it's pretty upsetting because I know how highly my dad
(14:28):
and my uncle and aunts talked about him, and obviously you.
I just wish I could have experienced what you guys
did when it first happened. I think it was such
a shock that I really didn't notice in transition. And
it was about three months after all he died and
I was on the couch and I said, oh my god,
I have to get up and make dinner. And then
(14:50):
I realized, no, I don't have to make dinner, and
there's nobody here to make dinner for. And that's where
it hit me that I was on my own and
there was nobody going to be in this big pass
except me. And that's when I decided that I had
to do more with my life. They just sit around
and be a widow. And then I met Jim, and
(15:17):
I decided it was time to stop being a widow
and to change my life. And I moved away from
Neuroshelle and we bought a huge home in Pennsylvania. And
he was much much younger than I, but of course
I was much younger and much thinner too, And so
I was with him for six years and then I
came back. I thought it was really cool where you lived.
(15:38):
I loved going there and seeing all the dogs and
the horses and the river and everything. He was a
really nice guy. And there have been people who have
asked me out for dinner. I would no more go
out for dinner with anybody or have anything to do
with another man. As long as I live, I've had
my fill. I've been wined and dined by the best.
I don't have to do it anymore. I hear a
(16:01):
tremendous strength in this woman. Absolutely, she knows what she wants,
and she she does what she wants, and she doesn't
feel sorry for herself. She just moves right along. And
you know, I, thankfully have still got my husband. He's
not well, but but he's here. He goes three days
a week for dialysis and drives himself. But I I
(16:25):
have this fear in my heart all the time, what
if something happens to him and all? But I know
that I'll be okay. You'll be okay. You're a strong lady,
because I'm tough, and because I have a wonderful family.
I have a very supportive family, and obviously she does too. Yeah.
I think that she feels that love and that support
(16:47):
from her family, and I think that that's one of
the ways that she's able to to move on. Look,
you know what we all have to learn. Life hands
you a deck of cards, and what you pick up
it's how you play it. All right, I'm now reading
What's coming up next Part four, Maybe gets lucky. H
(17:14):
Do you have any unusual hobbies that I don't know about.
I don't know what. What's a hobby? You used to
pool around with young guys? Was that a hobby? I
like gambling, that's a hobby. I didn't know that side
you play? I played and craps. And you heard the
story when Jamie and I went to that big hotel
(17:36):
in the Bahamas. At any rate, we went down there
and it started to rain at the pool, so I said,
I put on my little schmata and I went inside
to the casino and took a hundred dollar bill with me.
I put the hundred dollar bill in the slot machine
and the bells went off. It was crazy. So I
said to this woman, how much shod I win? And
(17:58):
she said, I said, are you out of your mind?
How much did I win? She said two dollars. I
had smoked in years. I said to her, I'd like
a Scotch on the rocks and could have one of
those cigarous plates. And I sat right up smoking, and
I went over and I called Jamie there. I was
so nonchalant, and the minute I saw that, I started
(18:20):
jumping up and down like a lunatic. That was excited.
Then while we were waiting, there was a machine right
next to it. I put a ten dollar billing and
I wont undred hundred dollars. I sent to Barbara and Jamie,
here you take this, this is yours. That was the
last time I hit like that. I gotta go to
the casino with you. We had a friend who used
(18:44):
to go regularly to Atlantic City and he got camped
downe everything. So one of a few times they would
invite us we play a little. I used to play
a little twenty one. But you know what, you never win.
If you play long enough, you never win. I went
through ang face and growing up in Brooklyn it wasn't
mar Young it was. And when I lived in Showy
(19:09):
Hill it was a whole brand new community. And one
day a girl knocked at my door and she said
to me, do you play Majong? I said, I know
how to play. She says, a group of the girls
are getting together and would like you to come. So
we go to her house. We go, we play mang
and after one hand, she says, anybody want to smoke?
And she takes out a box and it's loaded with
(19:32):
pot I had never had that in my life, but
everybody else was doing it, so I did it too.
Every Wednesday night we went to the house, we played
one hand to ban and got stoned out of our
mind that I would I would come home. I would
eat anything that wasn't nailed down and go to sleep.
(19:55):
My husband never knew. Never. They don't know if anything
in fun in them? What are you talking about? You
could have an orgasm in front of them. They would
never know what I mean, you know, mend them on
another planet. How can I tell you? Okay? Later, time
to go to commercial. Okay, somebody has to pay the bills.
(20:27):
Part five. Judge Me, Me Me. My daughter Jamie was
an excellent gymnasism. Matter of fact, my daughter has the
biggest gymnastics school in the East. It's called Galaxy Gymnastics.
I actually had more than one birthday party at Galaxy.
It was so much fun there. So I would take
her to gymnastics every single day, and then I would
(20:49):
sit on the floor and one day I said to
her coach, what would happen if you put this move
with that move? And she said, damn, you've been watching
gymnastics way too long. There's a course being given just
for high school gymnastics. Why don't you just take it?
So I took that course, and then I took another course,
and then I took another test and another test, and
(21:10):
that started in nineteen four and I have been judging now.
I'm just doing high school. Of course, I'm not going
to travel or anything like that. I wish I could
be able to see you do that. It would have
been really cool. But I'll tell you how interesting it is.
I was judging this girl on the floor and these
two women came over to me and they said to me,
Mrs Winkler, and I said yes. They said, you judged me.
(21:33):
The mother said you judged me, and then the granddaughter
said you judged me. So that was three generations of
my judging them. And all the traveling you did to
judge gymnastics led to another big change in your life.
Right judging a meat in Germany and seeing this little
white dog. I've always loved dogs, and I asked her
what kind of dog is that and they said, up
be Shaan Fries And I said, God, I think I
(21:55):
like that dog. And we always had old English sheep dogs,
so they were big. I came home I went to
a dog show and I stopped a breeder and I
asked her about her dog. She said, I will sell
you this one that you seem to be in love with,
but she's a show girl, and will you show her
and always haven't been competitive? I said absolutely, And then
(22:16):
she said and then you'd have to have a litter
and I get a puppy back, and she explained what
all that meant to me, and I kind of like
the idea. Then here I am thirty three years later,
with having n champions, top dogs all over the world,
a winner at Westminster Kendle Club, and judging in Japan
(22:36):
and China. That's a major accomplishment that I've done all
on my own. I'm proud of myself and doing all that.
I think that she's so open to what life brings
her and she grabs it, she takes it, and she
runs with it. I think that that's a tremendous way
to be. It's amazing how she becomes judges so easily
(22:58):
and felt quickly. She she's got a very modern way
of thinking. She really filled her life beautifully and she's
a terrific example for our grandchildren. I love that she's
a dog person, because having dogs opened a big door
in my life. When I first got into using a
computer and I found this whole group of women who
(23:18):
had cavaliers. Your friends, my doggie friends. You know, to me,
the fact that this woman had dogs, I immediately love her.
I know you have the most adorable dog. Reader, I
love your dog. Oh, thank you. Okay, read to get ready.
(23:39):
This is it the end Grandma's philosophies something which we
all seem to have. There's really no feeling like the
joy that I get from my grandchildren. And I mean
that sincerely. I'm gonna start to cry, so I can't
(24:00):
do this. But when I see him, and I'm watching
Aaron Pitch, and I'm watching him with his friends and
watching how he relates, and what a wonderful man he's
turning into, There's nothing that gives me more joy in
this world. Okay, so now my COEs are running. How
do you think your life has changed since becoming a grandmother.
(24:22):
It's changed for the better. Everything is for the better.
It's a legacy. When I look back and and I
doubt myself and think that I could have done things better.
When I see what my grandchildren are with the help
of the children that I raised. There's nothing better in
this world. Everybody has to screw up at times, but
(24:44):
that's part of living. I think that's the only way
to learn. You mess up, and then you learn you
don't do it again, and that's how you grow as
a person. So I totally agree with that, Steamon. The
thing is that when you're doing it with your children,
you have to do it in a constructive way because
you're guiding their lives. When you're doing it with your grandchildren,
(25:05):
it's a much freer way of thinking. As a grandparent,
I've gained knowledge and wisdom that your parents haven't experienced yet. Yeah,
and I think my guiding you comes from that place
because I've seen so much more. I never really thought
of it like that. That's that's pretty awesome. And the
only thing you can really do is just have conversations
(25:26):
with them and tell them about your experiences. And I
think it's a really good way to teach your grandchildren.
Definitely work for me. I just want all of you
to reach your potential. You know, I've always said that
the definition of a true man or a true woman
is somebody who can stand on their own two feet
without stepping on anybody's toes. Putting somebody else down, does
(25:47):
that make you smarter, It's sinking to their level. That's
what I hope to instill. And I want your all
to be happy. I want you to see the bright
side of everything and be and be able to cope
because about no I've had to do that. Well, what
I've noticed what you do is, no matter what's going
on with you, whenever you see me and the rest
(26:07):
of the grandchildren, you're smiling and you're happy to see us,
and you just leave that stuff at the door. That's
what I think I need to do, like whether whether
I'm with my friends or my family or teammates, whoever
it is, and just focus on the moment as much
as I can, no matter what's going on. And that's
definitely something that you do. So would you say that
overall you've enjoyed your life, Yeah, of course I have have.
(26:30):
I had ups and downs, just like everybody else. What
you put into making relationships with other people, you hope
you get back. My philosophy has already been the glass
is not half full or half empty. If you don't
like that glass, go get a new one. You just
have to make the best of what of the cards
that you're dealt well. I certainly agree with her that
(26:54):
grandchildren are a bonus. I think that when you're bringing
up your own children, you're so involved in doing the
right thing and putting them on the right path that
you're not into the joy and the fun of the
extraneous things. Actually, when you think about it, that is
(27:15):
our legacy, our grandchildren. Not each one has everything. They're
all not perfect, they're all not brilliant, they're all not talented.
But I love them and I take each one from
what they are. But they all bring something to the table,
every one of them. They have basic good traits, and
they have good character, and they're honest, hard working people
(27:39):
that will all turn out all of a sudden. Every
stop it it's a big bird. But that's He'll stop
in one second. You know who you look like? What's
what's that soccer player from England? Um, the one that
has the great ass um married to one the Spice girls.
(28:02):
For one second, that's what you look like. I'll take that.
Thank you. Core Your Grandmother is a production of I
Heart Radio and Superb Entertainment. The hosts of the show
are Me Rita Kay and me Ellen Bernstein. Grodski created
by Merrow Poster, produced and directed by Anna stump with
(28:27):
producer Abu Zafar and associate producer Emily Marinoff Managing producer
Lindsay Hoffman. The executive producers are Merrow Poster, Nikki Ichore
and Mangesh Hachi Kadulla. Music and mastering by Hamilton's Lighthouser
(28:48):
and Annie stump Hey. Can you do me a favor
and leave a five star review? On Apple Podcast for
us olav people B
You know this is funny. Ellen and I speak at
least twice a week. So I said, so, what's new?
What could be? No, we haven't gone out, and that
has me anything. I did get up, I take a shower,
I get dressed, I walked the dog every day to day.
What's happening between us? Now, that's the most exciting thing
in the whole pandemonium, whatever you call of this pandemic.
(00:26):
I'm going to put a notice on the bulletin board
in my lobby Rita. Bobby said to me, how can
I see it? I said, you can't see it. You
have to listen to it. That's right, That's right. So, Allen,
who's coming on the podcast today? Well? I believe that
it is me, Me and our grandson Aaron, And from
(00:46):
what I understand, they have a tremendous relationship and she
has got a very colorful life and a very colorful
way of describing it. So we're in for a very
interesting set today. Hard do you want to talk to
(01:11):
them and say, Hi? Do you want to sing? Change? Change? Chane?
No sing a song? I'm no woo woo woo. He's
an African gray. The other ones a parrot, mca are
you there? Yeah, we're here. Could my hair be any higher? Okay?
Are you gonna ask me hard questions? You'll find out. Hi.
(01:34):
I'm Aaron and this is my grandma Emi. She lives
probably half an hour away from me in somers New York.
I don't want to give up your age. I'm still alive.
He's the Messiah. He can do no wrong, and he's
never done anything wrong. My first grandchild, who I said,
after spending time with him, if I had known grandchildren
(01:56):
with this delicious, I would have bypassed my kids altogether.
It makes it a little hard for some of the
others to live up to his standard. He has two
younger cousins of both boys, both good ball players. They
have a role model to look up to. I think
it may have been Christmas and you gave everyone like
(02:17):
twenty dollars and then you snuck me the same amount again,
and you like put it in my hand and you're like,
just just hold onto this. Don't tell anyone else, though
I said to you, shut up and don't say anything.
I just said it the nicer way. But he's nicer
than I am. He's more thoughtful than I am, and
more tactful than I am. Whatever she's thinking about is
coming out. She's not gonna hold anything back. If I
(02:39):
have to guess, when I get a little bit older
and I get less shy, I'm sure I'll be in
the same exact spot and just kind of call people
out for whatever is going on. I hope so. And
I'll be looking I'm watching you, guiding you the whole way. Okay,
I'm reading these pet titles for Mimmy and end this
(03:00):
episode and part one says unfiltered baseball advice. What could
that be? We text each other all the time. After
my games, she would text me and she would just
kind of fire me up and throwing a few curse
(03:21):
words in there and make me feel better about myself
and then say I love you at the end, some
motivational stuff for sure. Do you remember Sean fo Piano? Grandma?
You would always ask about you. He always how's Mimi?
How's Mimi? And he would always when we were big
into Facebook, he would always see your posts and be
asking about you. Any time I'd say Grandma, he would
(03:41):
be like, oh, Mimi, are you talking about me? I
think you may have sent a friend request to my friend.
I sent a friend request to one of your friends.
That's not what happened. I know, I know what you're
talking about. No, he read the post that you were
and I sent to each other, and he sent me
a friend request. Oh was it? Okay? I believe you.
I believe you. And that was when they first started
(04:02):
to check me out as a pedophile. Don't believe everything
I say. They would all come over and talk to me,
and then you know, they'd say, hi, Grandma, how did
I do today? How do I look today? And you know,
it was funny how the parents would say to me.
You know, my son really likes coming over and talking
to you. I'm very comfortable, you know, with kids in sports,
(04:24):
and I'm a big promoter of kids. I think my
friends and especially kids my age, would expect grandparents to
be more like polite and just like very formal about everything,
and I'd say, you're definitely a little far from that.
So I think that can get her into trouble, even
in our own family. Her whole life, she hasn't filtered herself,
even when me and the other grandchildren were really young.
(04:46):
I treat all of you like grown ups. Yeah, And
sometimes they're shocked and I said, I did a pretty
good job raising all of you, didn't I why should
they miss out on me? I think it's a lot
more impactful than if you're just like sugarcoat and how
you say everything. Maybe sometimes I crossed the line, but already,
thank god. You think I've crossed the line a few times, Yeah,
(05:08):
I have, and I admit it. I definitely agree with it.
A lot of people in our family are very, very
very nice, and like, we'll never say anything bad about anyone,
and you kind of need someone to like say it.
How it is, if someone's doing something wrong, you gotta
say they're doing something wrong. It's a very sweet relationship.
They seem like good buddies. She's crazy about him that
(05:32):
you could see, and he's gonna get kicked out of her,
which is nice. Sometimes with a grandson, it's a little harder,
because I think that that where you have more in
common with our granddaughters, they'll come to you about clothes
or boyfriends or something like that, and boys don't necessarily
do that. But it seems that this young man and
his grandmother have a lot in comment, and the fact
(05:54):
that that his friends gravitate toward her is lovely. And
it's lovely for him. She's outrageous, Let's let's face it,
she's a little the grandmother is a little bit outrageous
in her language and her but that's okay, that's who.
But he seems to enjoy it too. But that's what
I'm saying. He appreciates it, and that his friends get
(06:14):
a kick out of it is sort of a reflection
on him. You know, your grandmother is a cool cat,
so that's that's a good thing for him, Oh reader,
a cool cat? Yeah? Well yeah, how do you like that?
That's phrase that dates us. Boy. Well, now we're into
(06:36):
part two and this is about freedom. The first thing
that comes to mind, of course, is hippies freedom. I'm
taking off my bro Ellen. Just don't do it, though,
forget it. If you and I take off my bras,
forget it. I'm very careful about what hits my feet lately.
(07:13):
Is there anything from your childhood that you'd say you miss? Yeah?
Being young? You want to know what I really miss?
The freedom, the freedom we have that you don't have now,
to be able to go out and explore and walk
in the streets and be with your friends and not
have to look over your shoulder that I'm hobbs, You're
(07:34):
gonna come to you. We all grew up in the Bronx,
in this little neighborhood where everybody knew each other, every
mother watched out for each other. Parents didn't worry. When
I went to high school in Manhattan, we would go
to parties and walk at twelve o'clock at night from
one side of Manhattan to the other. Nobody was going
(07:55):
to stop you in the park. You didn't have to
be afraid of anything. There was nothing to be afraid of.
From what I've heard, it definitely seems like things have changed.
I always knew to stay at a central park when
the sun went down. Absolutely, yeah, at different times. Did
your parents influence your personality at all? They made me
the rebel bitch I am now, Yeah, yeah they did.
(08:17):
Oh God, how much am I going to go into
I had parents that suffocated me. That generation was much
more controlling, and so I would get more of a
reaction out of them if I was a rebel. If
I had to raise a kid like me, I'd kill myself.
But they should have been more aware of what I
(08:37):
was like and why I was doing it. So while
I'm copping out. I'm kind of blaming them, but some
of the actions that I had, and that's what I
want to say, fair enough, I was much closer to
my grandparents than I was to my parents. I could
go to my grandparents and talk to them. I don't
think I really had to rebel because I was very
(08:58):
I still am very close my parents. I basically told
them anything I was doing, and we would just talk
everything through having children of my own and realizing the
things that I wanted to do with them, and finally
having the balls to say, back off, these are my kids.
You had your chance, Now give me that same chance.
I'd said. My parents definitely have that same philosophy, free thinking,
(09:21):
and you have your own opinions, and they're not gonna
interject unless there's something like drastically important. Even in those situations,
they were just talk us through all the options instead
of just telling us what to do. It definitely helps.
I think if that's the case, then I've done my
job too, for sure. It was very interesting to him
(09:42):
Mimi the explanation of her her rebel nuts and her
grandson fully understands how he understands his parents. They're very
free and letting him do his own thing, make his
own choices, and that's what Mimmi wanted. And she said
now she feels they decayed for her actions. And this
went on very in tune with her. I think that
(10:05):
there's a freedom in that relationship. There's such a sympathic
o there. Well, today, you know that the thinking is
let the kids be what they have, you know, what
they wanted, which is the right way to be today
you have to be accepting. Yes, absolutely, it's not as
easy as when we were young. I think the kids
today come out into a world that's very stressful. Generally speaking,
(10:28):
I agree totally. It's a very stressful world for these kids.
I mean I remember going into the city on the
subway late at night, meeting friends. Nobody thought of what's
going on today. I used to take my sister once
a week to the orthodontist to have her bike place
or whatever it was Titan, you know, we'd go down
the subway and we'd walk around downtown Brooklyn. I could
(10:49):
not have been more than twelve or thirteen years old,
and my sister is five years younger than I am.
And you didn't rebel. I didn't rebel. If you did,
you kept it in. I was sort of rebellious. Okay, Ellen,
you know it's time for commercial break. Okay, everybody go
to the kitchen and graba soda at a sandwich. The
(11:25):
next one is part three, Mimi comes into her own.
So did anyone encourage you to have a career when
you were young? But you have to understand, when I
grew up, there weren't very many Jewish young girls who
had careers. No nobody encouraged me to do anything. Truthfully,
(11:46):
it wasn't until I grew up a little bit and
I wanted to make more of myself than I was
that I had the confidence that my children gave me
and my husband gave me that enabled me to have
different careers. How did you and Grandpa meet? We all
grew up in the same neighborhood, and he was in
(12:10):
the older group of boys, and they hung out at
the pool room, and in those days, pool rooms were acceptable,
and I was friendly with his sister. I guess I
was fortunate, you know, a fift team, and he took
me along they were going to Fire Island, and then
I didn't see him because I went off to school
and everything, so I didn't see him for a few
years and then we all belonged to the Speech club
(12:33):
and I asked him if he would give me a
ride up to the club. And I'll never forget, he
said to me. And I'll be in the bar. If
you don't get lucky, come and get me and I'll
drive you home. And I had to come and ask
him to drive me home because I didn't get lucky.
And we started going out and then we got there
and that was it. What was he like? I haven't
(12:53):
really gotten a whole ton of details. Very handsome, very
good ballplayer, very good business man. I remember hearing that
he had to work out with the Dodgers once. He
was invited to sprint training for one year, which I
thought was really cool. I think it would have been
really cool for him to watch me play. I wish
I could have learned from him too. He would have
been so goddamn proud of you. Okay, asked me another question.
(13:17):
I'll come back to it because I'm Dr Grig. What
was it like having so many kids? Oh my god,
I loved it. I really did. I don't think i'd
be able to. And I have no idea how you
did it. And I give you so much respect for it.
So how did the two of you approach parenting together?
You know, we both came from upper middle class Jewish
families and it was a different time. We both had
(13:41):
our parents to pull back on. I think Artie was
more stripped and more structured than I was, and I
think the two of us balanced each other, so it
was good. Sometimes we talked about it and nice say
I was really the strict one. They said, are you
out of your mind? You laughed at everything we did.
Can you tell me what happened that day that grandpa died.
(14:04):
We were we were in Israel, the whole family was there.
We were on a boat and he went into the water.
He swung off the rope and he came back up
this rope thing and he said, I don't feel good.
I said, go lie down, and he had a heart
attack and died. I just wish I could have met him. Honestly,
it's pretty upsetting because I know how highly my dad
(14:28):
and my uncle and aunts talked about him, and obviously you.
I just wish I could have experienced what you guys
did when it first happened. I think it was such
a shock that I really didn't notice in transition. And
it was about three months after all he died and
I was on the couch and I said, oh my god,
I have to get up and make dinner. And then
(14:50):
I realized, no, I don't have to make dinner, and
there's nobody here to make dinner for. And that's where
it hit me that I was on my own and
there was nobody going to be in this big pass
except me. And that's when I decided that I had
to do more with my life. They just sit around
and be a widow. And then I met Jim, and
(15:17):
I decided it was time to stop being a widow
and to change my life. And I moved away from
Neuroshelle and we bought a huge home in Pennsylvania. And
he was much much younger than I, but of course
I was much younger and much thinner too, And so
I was with him for six years and then I
came back. I thought it was really cool where you lived.
(15:38):
I loved going there and seeing all the dogs and
the horses and the river and everything. He was a
really nice guy. And there have been people who have
asked me out for dinner. I would no more go
out for dinner with anybody or have anything to do
with another man. As long as I live, I've had
my fill. I've been wined and dined by the best.
I don't have to do it anymore. I hear a
(16:01):
tremendous strength in this woman. Absolutely, she knows what she wants,
and she she does what she wants, and she doesn't
feel sorry for herself. She just moves right along. And
you know, I, thankfully have still got my husband. He's
not well, but but he's here. He goes three days
a week for dialysis and drives himself. But I I
(16:25):
have this fear in my heart all the time, what
if something happens to him and all? But I know
that I'll be okay. You'll be okay. You're a strong lady,
because I'm tough, and because I have a wonderful family.
I have a very supportive family, and obviously she does too. Yeah.
I think that she feels that love and that support
(16:47):
from her family, and I think that that's one of
the ways that she's able to to move on. Look,
you know what we all have to learn. Life hands
you a deck of cards, and what you pick up
it's how you play it. All right, I'm now reading
What's coming up next Part four, Maybe gets lucky. H
(17:14):
Do you have any unusual hobbies that I don't know about.
I don't know what. What's a hobby? You used to
pool around with young guys? Was that a hobby? I
like gambling, that's a hobby. I didn't know that side
you play? I played and craps. And you heard the
story when Jamie and I went to that big hotel
(17:36):
in the Bahamas. At any rate, we went down there
and it started to rain at the pool, so I said,
I put on my little schmata and I went inside
to the casino and took a hundred dollar bill with me.
I put the hundred dollar bill in the slot machine
and the bells went off. It was crazy. So I
said to this woman, how much shod I win? And
(17:58):
she said, I said, are you out of your mind?
How much did I win? She said two dollars. I
had smoked in years. I said to her, I'd like
a Scotch on the rocks and could have one of
those cigarous plates. And I sat right up smoking, and
I went over and I called Jamie there. I was
so nonchalant, and the minute I saw that, I started
(18:20):
jumping up and down like a lunatic. That was excited.
Then while we were waiting, there was a machine right
next to it. I put a ten dollar billing and
I wont undred hundred dollars. I sent to Barbara and Jamie,
here you take this, this is yours. That was the
last time I hit like that. I gotta go to
the casino with you. We had a friend who used
(18:44):
to go regularly to Atlantic City and he got camped
downe everything. So one of a few times they would
invite us we play a little. I used to play
a little twenty one. But you know what, you never win.
If you play long enough, you never win. I went
through ang face and growing up in Brooklyn it wasn't
mar Young it was. And when I lived in Showy
(19:09):
Hill it was a whole brand new community. And one
day a girl knocked at my door and she said
to me, do you play Majong? I said, I know
how to play. She says, a group of the girls
are getting together and would like you to come. So
we go to her house. We go, we play mang
and after one hand, she says, anybody want to smoke?
And she takes out a box and it's loaded with
(19:32):
pot I had never had that in my life, but
everybody else was doing it, so I did it too.
Every Wednesday night we went to the house, we played
one hand to ban and got stoned out of our
mind that I would I would come home. I would
eat anything that wasn't nailed down and go to sleep.
(19:55):
My husband never knew. Never. They don't know if anything
in fun in them? What are you talking about? You
could have an orgasm in front of them. They would
never know what I mean, you know, mend them on
another planet. How can I tell you? Okay? Later, time
to go to commercial. Okay, somebody has to pay the bills.
(20:27):
Part five. Judge Me, Me Me. My daughter Jamie was
an excellent gymnasism. Matter of fact, my daughter has the
biggest gymnastics school in the East. It's called Galaxy Gymnastics.
I actually had more than one birthday party at Galaxy.
It was so much fun there. So I would take
her to gymnastics every single day, and then I would
(20:49):
sit on the floor and one day I said to
her coach, what would happen if you put this move
with that move? And she said, damn, you've been watching
gymnastics way too long. There's a course being given just
for high school gymnastics. Why don't you just take it?
So I took that course, and then I took another course,
and then I took another test and another test, and
(21:10):
that started in nineteen four and I have been judging now.
I'm just doing high school. Of course, I'm not going
to travel or anything like that. I wish I could
be able to see you do that. It would have
been really cool. But I'll tell you how interesting it is.
I was judging this girl on the floor and these
two women came over to me and they said to me,
Mrs Winkler, and I said yes. They said, you judged me.
(21:33):
The mother said you judged me, and then the granddaughter
said you judged me. So that was three generations of
my judging them. And all the traveling you did to
judge gymnastics led to another big change in your life.
Right judging a meat in Germany and seeing this little
white dog. I've always loved dogs, and I asked her
what kind of dog is that and they said, up
be Shaan Fries And I said, God, I think I
(21:55):
like that dog. And we always had old English sheep dogs,
so they were big. I came home I went to
a dog show and I stopped a breeder and I
asked her about her dog. She said, I will sell
you this one that you seem to be in love with,
but she's a show girl, and will you show her
and always haven't been competitive? I said absolutely, And then
(22:16):
she said and then you'd have to have a litter
and I get a puppy back, and she explained what
all that meant to me, and I kind of like
the idea. Then here I am thirty three years later,
with having n champions, top dogs all over the world,
a winner at Westminster Kendle Club, and judging in Japan
(22:36):
and China. That's a major accomplishment that I've done all
on my own. I'm proud of myself and doing all that.
I think that she's so open to what life brings
her and she grabs it, she takes it, and she
runs with it. I think that that's a tremendous way
to be. It's amazing how she becomes judges so easily
(22:58):
and felt quickly. She she's got a very modern way
of thinking. She really filled her life beautifully and she's
a terrific example for our grandchildren. I love that she's
a dog person, because having dogs opened a big door
in my life. When I first got into using a
computer and I found this whole group of women who
(23:18):
had cavaliers. Your friends, my doggie friends. You know, to me,
the fact that this woman had dogs, I immediately love her.
I know you have the most adorable dog. Reader, I
love your dog. Oh, thank you. Okay, read to get ready.
(23:39):
This is it the end Grandma's philosophies something which we
all seem to have. There's really no feeling like the
joy that I get from my grandchildren. And I mean
that sincerely. I'm gonna start to cry, so I can't
(24:00):
do this. But when I see him, and I'm watching
Aaron Pitch, and I'm watching him with his friends and
watching how he relates, and what a wonderful man he's
turning into, There's nothing that gives me more joy in
this world. Okay, so now my COEs are running. How
do you think your life has changed since becoming a grandmother.
(24:22):
It's changed for the better. Everything is for the better.
It's a legacy. When I look back and and I
doubt myself and think that I could have done things better.
When I see what my grandchildren are with the help
of the children that I raised. There's nothing better in
this world. Everybody has to screw up at times, but
(24:44):
that's part of living. I think that's the only way
to learn. You mess up, and then you learn you
don't do it again, and that's how you grow as
a person. So I totally agree with that, Steamon. The
thing is that when you're doing it with your children,
you have to do it in a constructive way because
you're guiding their lives. When you're doing it with your grandchildren,
(25:05):
it's a much freer way of thinking. As a grandparent,
I've gained knowledge and wisdom that your parents haven't experienced yet. Yeah,
and I think my guiding you comes from that place
because I've seen so much more. I never really thought
of it like that. That's that's pretty awesome. And the
only thing you can really do is just have conversations
(25:26):
with them and tell them about your experiences. And I
think it's a really good way to teach your grandchildren.
Definitely work for me. I just want all of you
to reach your potential. You know, I've always said that
the definition of a true man or a true woman
is somebody who can stand on their own two feet
without stepping on anybody's toes. Putting somebody else down, does
(25:47):
that make you smarter, It's sinking to their level. That's
what I hope to instill. And I want your all
to be happy. I want you to see the bright
side of everything and be and be able to cope
because about no I've had to do that. Well, what
I've noticed what you do is, no matter what's going
on with you, whenever you see me and the rest
(26:07):
of the grandchildren, you're smiling and you're happy to see us,
and you just leave that stuff at the door. That's
what I think I need to do, like whether whether
I'm with my friends or my family or teammates, whoever
it is, and just focus on the moment as much
as I can, no matter what's going on. And that's
definitely something that you do. So would you say that
overall you've enjoyed your life, Yeah, of course I have have.
(26:30):
I had ups and downs, just like everybody else. What
you put into making relationships with other people, you hope
you get back. My philosophy has already been the glass
is not half full or half empty. If you don't
like that glass, go get a new one. You just
have to make the best of what of the cards
that you're dealt well. I certainly agree with her that
(26:54):
grandchildren are a bonus. I think that when you're bringing
up your own children, you're so involved in doing the
right thing and putting them on the right path that
you're not into the joy and the fun of the
extraneous things. Actually, when you think about it, that is
(27:15):
our legacy, our grandchildren. Not each one has everything. They're
all not perfect, they're all not brilliant, they're all not talented.
But I love them and I take each one from
what they are. But they all bring something to the table,
every one of them. They have basic good traits, and
they have good character, and they're honest, hard working people
(27:39):
that will all turn out all of a sudden. Every
stop it it's a big bird. But that's He'll stop
in one second. You know who you look like? What's
what's that soccer player from England? Um, the one that
has the great ass um married to one the Spice girls.
(28:02):
For one second, that's what you look like. I'll take that.
Thank you. Core Your Grandmother is a production of I
Heart Radio and Superb Entertainment. The hosts of the show
are Me Rita Kay and me Ellen Bernstein. Grodski created
by Merrow Poster, produced and directed by Anna stump with
(28:27):
producer Abu Zafar and associate producer Emily Marinoff Managing producer
Lindsay Hoffman. The executive producers are Merrow Poster, Nikki Ichore
and Mangesh Hachi Kadulla. Music and mastering by Hamilton's Lighthouser
(28:48):
and Annie stump Hey. Can you do me a favor
and leave a five star review? On Apple Podcast for
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