August 30, 2023 • 25 mins
Hey y'all, wussup?! Dating is hard so Jess isn't judging you because things went left. Today's two messes could happen to anyone! Tap in to hear Jess' take on it.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to can't fully reckless the production of iHeart Radio
and the Black Effects, and just like that, welcome back
to you on another carefully reckless episode with your girl Jess. Hilarious.
(00:20):
So y'all know fix the message what I do? And
I still have not gotten my intro. So y'all ain't
spam Charlemagne's comments enough. Y'all need to spam our Heart.
Y'all need to spam the Black Effect. Y'all need to
spam breakfast Club dj Envy because if dj Envy he
pay attentions to his comments, if y'all go down there,
he gonna send it to Charlemagne, and Charlomagne gonna see.
(00:42):
So make sure y'all even spam my goddamn comments, Jess.
We need to just fix my mess intro because it
conna be something like, way are you gonna fix my
mess today? They could be sorry like that. No it's
not over here looking like bitch. No, it could be
(01:04):
saying I need a jingle jam.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
You know who I can call up? I can call
Nick Cannon. He can't make no rap songs. We can
make a jingle. That's what all right?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
He is the jingle King. I ain't we can do that.
I can get that all right, all right, that's fine.
So I'm gonna have to reach out to my buddy
Nick Cannon and see if he can write me a
jingle or just seeing a Valentine. Somebody gotta write me
a jingle or pretty V. I think, oh, I can
get all of them on there, pretty V. No, it's
it's given Nickelodeon all that, ain't it?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
No mine? All right? All right, so just fix my mask.
That's We're just gonna have to do it like that,
all right. This is a story, it's written.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
We ain't got no voice memos this week again because
people people's boyfriends and girlfriends is catching on to there.
It's it's like, bitch you over here talking about our
business and just like I don't know your voice, bitch
y'all forget y'allselves in trouble chap. I'm sorry, I can't
say once he gets you hitting that choke hold. So
but hopefully ain't none of you all getting choked behind
(02:01):
sending in voice notes. So, hey, go to the first
story about to dive right in. Hey, Jess, So the
story I'm about to tell you I might sound like
a bad person, but trust me, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Lol.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
So I was recently messing with this guy and he
literally was a complete bum.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Oh my god. Oh no, a complete dream. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
He was literally a complete dream. But he started to
become very clingy. Oh my god, girl, I've been in
many a situations like that. Me personally, I love clingy,
but sometimes he made me feel like I couldn't breathe
or had any personal space. That's what clingy is. So
she's definitely describing that it was never intrusive, but very overwhelming.
(02:43):
As time went by, I would tell him how I
feel about it, and things will change, but it would
eventually go back to the same thing shortly after I
told him that I needed space. Okay, he totally respected it,
which I loved, but it also caused us to.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Fall back from each other a lot. Oh wow.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
And it may sound fucked up, but I really didn't
feel bothered by it, Okay, right, So no, So then
it's not that that was just you showing your truest feelings.
You were just being very, very honest, and it's okay.
We always make the mistake of thinking and thinking that
we're hurting somebody's feelings by just telling them the truth. No,
the truth is like it's supposed to hurt. Sometimes the
(03:24):
truth doesn't always have to be a happy thing. It
can be very uncomfortable and it's okay. It's how you felt,
So don't feel like that girl. Continuing now, girl, you
know us females have our needs sometimes.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Lol. I think you know where I'm going with this one.
I think I do SCOO.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
So I was drunk one day and I went to
a little brunch with my girls and got to lit
and decided to go over my excess house right after.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
And you know what we did, and we did the
do oh yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Is this girl from Baltimore all time? And we did
the do She spelled deep do d e w like
mountain dew. Yes, you're from the way she's around away.
That's all it was, though, nothing more and nothing less.
But shortly after that I left, I took a video
and posted it on my story, not knowing that there
was a huge ass hickey on my neck.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Mmm.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Child. The guy who I broke it off with called
my phone about thirty minutes later and we were just talking.
Next thing, you know, I'm blocked. And I didn't even
realize that there was a hickey on my neck. Girl,
When I tell you, this man is hurt, he is
so hurt, and I just don't know how I should
go about this situation.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
What should I do? Hashtag help? Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Okay, So the guy that you broke it off with
saw a huge ass hickey on your neck from your ex.
Let me ask you this because I feel like while
you put a lot of meat on the bone, you
still left some meat off. Did he know about your ex?
Did you tell him about your ex? And how recent
is this ex? How much of an X is this
(04:55):
X shit? Because if he's doing shit like getting called
when you need a little bit of Dyno dingy, then
y'all ain't over each Other's what that tells me. It
also tells me that you may have been calling the
ex before he dropped off some Dino dingy. You never
really lost contact with him. Now you could have taken
(05:16):
a break from your ex. And we do this thing
called getting over someone with someone else. We do that
that's human, that's actually on both sides. That's not a
woman thing, it's not a man thing. That is like
a person thing, a human thing. Sometimes we may use
one person to get over another person, not realizing that
(05:37):
we're never going to really be over this person or
we're not over them yet, and we actually fuck up
the new person who actually develops real feelings for us.
And not to say that it doesn't go the other way,
because you could have had genuine feelings for this new
(05:58):
guy too, But you didn't close the door on your
ex like you didn't.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
You didn't.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
It's like you tried to move on before you were
ready to move on. Now, you didn't say that y'all
were together or anything. You said that y'all were just
talking and all of that. But if he's questioning you
about hickeys from a previous situation or just hickeys period,
then y'all got a little bit somewhat serious because if
he can have the audacity, then he then y'all was
(06:25):
on that term.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
So I need to know.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Did you get into a relationship with the new dude?
Like where did you ever tell me he was your boyfriend?
Did he ever tell you you were his girlfriend? And
did you ever agree to those terms, whether it was slight,
whether you did against your will or not, the decision
that you made if it was.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yes, you were his girlfriend, y'all worked together.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
And then using somebody to get over somebody bites you
in the ass when you got to break it off
with the new person and go back and fuck with
the old person. Especially if you told the new person
that you were over or trying to get over, or
you were just getting out of something. If you even
(07:09):
gave them that little bit, then that clears up a
little bit because he can't say he never knew about
this person. He can't say that because some guys will
try to play stupid like, oh damn, I thought this
was the.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Nigga I ain't have to worry about. Uh.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Well, no, you chose to believe that you didn't have
to worry about him. You ignored everything I said in
the beginning because you thought that a lot of people
have any minds that they can try to take you
away from somebody too. But I'll let you know about
this person. I'll let you know I was fresh out
of a relationship. I'll let you know that I might
not be fully over this nigga. You know, this is
the meat that you kind of left off the bone.
(07:43):
And that's okay, because I want an update, Oh I
want an update. And also, do you think your ex
left that hickey on your neck, that big ass hickey
on your neck on purpose? And did you let your
ex know about the new nigga that you would dealing with,
Because you have to be honest to both people. It
(08:05):
doesn't matter why you broke up with the AX, it
doesn't matter if you're trying to move on, you have
to leave that line of open honesty still because you
don't know if you're gonna go back.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
You don't know if you're gonna fully move forward.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
So you have to keep everybody aligned with how you're
feeling at all times. And that's just to cover your ass,
you know what I'm saying, Because the truth can be twisted,
but not if it comes from the horse's mouth. And
whenever you're feeling something, whenever your feelings changed, you.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Gotta communicate that.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Like if you even felt like you was going to
go back to the AX, you should have let new
YO know, Like, look, I'm not over them, I.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Still think about them, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Because even all right, so my parents are divorced, right
and it's only their second year being divorced, they both
are still very honest about their feelings toward each other,
you know what I'm saying. Now, that's a different comparison
because they've been together thirty plus years and they just
broke it off. However, the honesty is still the same.
(09:04):
You know, you're not gonna jump in a new relationship,
especially if you ain't gonna close this door. If you
being you just was married thirty something years and to
one person who you only know that person, it's gonna
kind of be hard for you to jump out there
and give somebody else new You're all.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Somebody knew you're all. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
So, ladies, just be careful when when moving from a
relationship that was extensive and then dating new people, you're
kind of vulnerable and this new person will come along
and sweep you off your feet, or at least that's
how it'll feel, you know, because she said she likes
(09:41):
clingy until it's the wrong motherfucker being clingy, you know
what I mean. Clingy is cool until it's the wrong
motherfucker that's clinging to you, because then you got to
how to You gotta try to figure out how to
unclean that person. And if he's already a clingy person anyway,
if that's already his personality.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
It's gonna to be hard to switch up.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
And if you're not a big fan of a clanky person,
because what it sounds like is you do is you
do like clingy, You just like it from a certain person.
You like it as long as you're into the person.
Nobody wants a clingy person to be honest with you
unless both of you guys are okay with that. Like
I'm clingy to my guy, I'm cleany with my boyfriend
(10:24):
as he is clingy with me. Now, clingy is different.
We both have jobs that allows us to be gone
it will. It demands our time. So me and my
man gotta be clingy because we're not with each other
every day.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
He's a truck driver.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
He has his own company, so he makes his own
schedule and he fills that motherfucker up. I am my
own business. I am a stand up comedian. I'm an entertainer.
My job demands my time where I have to be
in this place, in that place, different cities, different states,
every week, sometimes three times week.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
I travel Listen.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Just two weeks ago, I was me and my sister
was in three cities in twelve hours, three different states,
in twelve hours.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Crazy, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
So that's that's the type of job I have, you know,
So my time is demanded and accounted for, whether I
like it or not. All I do is just say yes,
I'm willing to do this on this date. So clangy.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
It works for certain people. Certain people it does not. Also,
how old are you? That depends as well. Are you?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
If you're younger, clingy is gonna be what you keep
running into, you know, because y'all y'all millennials, and well,
I'm a millennial. You may be gen Z, you may
be gen X. I don't know what's after that shit.
I don't got to ask my sister. I gotta get
the time capsules down for y'all asses.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
But and then, what do you want? What do you want?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Do you want a relationship? Do you not want to
be committed right now?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Like? What are you? How long was your last relationship
with your ex?
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I need to know these things because I want to
be able to properly assess you because while it's easy
to say you should be with the new guy, don't
let the new guy down, you know, because he didn't
he didn't do what the ex did and if in
your ex is the X for a reason, you should
just go be with the new guy. That's easy to
say that, but obviously you're stuck. Obviously you're stuck in
(12:21):
a situation, or it was a situation. At one point,
you felt like you didn't want the ex and that
you wanted the new guy, but you didn't fully allow
yourself to get over the.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Ex, so you started missing him.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
And then you start critiquing what the new guy did,
and you started indirectly comparing them, subconsciously comparing them. Oh, well,
he don't got with this new guy guy. I mean,
I liked the new guy, but he's annoying, and I
can just go back and did with We talk ourselves
into back into the ex's arms because that's where we
were most comfortable.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
But comfortable ain't always good. You don't want to.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Get too comfortable somewhere because then you fall back into
old ways. I don't think think you need to be
worried about and see, I don't know because I don't
know how old you are, so you wanna have to
update me. I need to know how old you are,
because if you're a young girl, you do not need
to be worried about being caught in between two guys.
They need to be working on themselves before they get
(13:15):
caught up with a sexy red or a sukiyana. And
I don't believe you are either of the two, okay,
I don't you know, or a glu rilla.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
You know what I'm saying. We have these these beautiful black.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Girls that are leading us some I don't know the
hell where, but they're leading.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
So while you seem very wholesome, I need you to
put some more meat up on that bone and get
back to me, all right, and we're gonna move on
from that. If you love me, you'll listen to this
commercial and then we'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
And continuing.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Okay, Jess, I need help with my mess. So I've
been having these feelings that my man is cheating on me.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Oh well, girl, you probably right.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
He's been acting distant and less communicative. He's usually an
affectionate person and always that's how he feels about me,
you know, for reassurance. Our past few days, our conversation
started to get more and more dry. What about the
pussy girl? Oh sorry, y'all, this is her story, not mine.
And he would always hold my hand. There was none
(14:15):
of that. Oh wow. So last night I decided to
go through that phone. I know, that's right, I know
the dumbest thing I could ever do. No, it's not,
it's not if you've been feeling it, girl, wait till
you go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
But I need to know this.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Did you take the phone and go in the kitchen,
because some bitches make the mistake of trying to go
through the niggaphone while he laying right there asleep, like
if he move in Budge, he can't just take his
goddamn phone back. And then he changed the password. Now
you beg at square one looking stupid because you're trying
to figure out the phone private. I know, take the
phone and go in the garage. That's what it is,
all right. So she went through his phone last night.
(14:50):
I'm about to continue. I found everything I was looking for.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Oh my god. Saying that's why you needed to know?
All right?
Speaker 1 (14:56):
It made me question am I doing everything right? And
what am I doing wrong? I was so hurt, at
a loss for words. He had been talking to this
girl from his job. Oh my god, ain't got the
worst fucking ones. When the bitch got to work, with
your nigga, and let me go ahead taking her out,
calling her beautiful and even sending our flowers. I haven't
(15:19):
gotten flowers from him in four years, oh my god,
and we've been together five.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
That's your fucking fault. I didn't handle all this well.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
After I was done looking at the dumb shit, I
woke his dumb ass up. I know it's right and
hit him in his face with the phone and immediately
started spansing out and fucking.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
All his shit up.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Oh my god, that escalated very quickly. Jesus, what the
fuck you've been listening to the glorilla bitch?
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Why you doing this? All right? Let me continue.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
All he did was deny and couldn't even own up
to it. Well after you punched him in his face
with a fucking phone. I wouldn't be able to admit
much either, which hurt me even more that he couldn't it,
because that means he would have kept doing it.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Well.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I don't think nobody gonna want to see Willie lumplump
after after you got done with him and shit and
he got wait for his face to clear up to
get back on any of these dat naps.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Bitch. I wouldn't even want to go into work.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
I know the Vinch day he fucking with at work, Like, ill, exactly,
I got a bitch, honey, I've never had my heartbroken before,
and all I can say is, girl, this shit hurts.
Oh you're a first time Okay, you're you were a
vergin to the heartbreak.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
That's why you handled it so physically.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Okay, all right, so I'm going to stop you right here.
You was never supposed to put your hands on the man.
I know it's a lot of y'all listening to this, like, no,
she did what the fuck she was supposed to do?
Bitch like no, no, gra gra keep it a stuck
like all right, yeah, I get it. You want to
be ratchet and rye Ryan and like Lorilla just said,
(16:52):
she puts she put it out there. Then listen, in
your twenties, turn it the fuck up. If you delusional,
turn it the fuck up. You gotta get all your
toxicity out in your twenties. You gotta live your toxic
through your twenties. So I'm gonna just go ahead and
say that you are in your twenties because this is
being pushed.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
So I'm gonna try to unpush it.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
You should have never put your hands on that man,
because what if that nigga puts your ass behind bars?
For not only did you hit them, you hit them
with an object that could have killed him.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
You hit them with the phone.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
You know that's a piece of metal. This is glass
and metal that these phones are made out of. You
could be sitting behind bars all for this clown ass
nigga who wanted to cheat on you at work.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
You know what I'm saying, that ain't worth it.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
But since you ain't in jail, which I hope you not,
all right, good, make this the last time because I know,
I know you wanted to boom boom boom.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
I would even say hit them for me boom, But.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
That's not what we want to do, okay, because you
could have took the bigger l than he did just
by putting your hands on him.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
You understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Hold up, Hold up, I know this shit getting good,
But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.
If you love me, you'll listen. What you do is
you leave isz you leave them, you walk the fuck away.
Y'all been together for quite a few years. You know
what I mean and he han't gotten you flowers in
four of those years. It seems like that's something that
(18:21):
you allowed. Now if you've never voiced voice it, like, yo,
what's up with this? Like you don't let years pass?
If everything happened great in the first year and all
of that shit great, when it starts stop happening, that's
when you got to say something. When you see that
the compliments go from every day. So once a week
(18:41):
you start, you start saying something. When you see he
don't hold your hand no more, you start saying something.
You understand what I'm saying, because that don't necessarily mean
it's someone else.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
That just means that he's bored now, and it could
mean a number of things.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
That doesn't necessarily always mean that there's someone else he
could be getting bored.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
He could possibly think that you fell off with some shit.
You know. Have you sat down and talked to him
about this?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Even before y'all got at this stop right here where
you see he fucking with somebody from his job. Have
y'all had a conversation about y'all falling out of love
with each other? Has he ever said, you know, has
he ever complained about anything? Were you taking heed to this,
like is he getting bored in the bedroom?
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Like it?
Speaker 1 (19:27):
You know, communication has to be on that level where
y'all are willing to sometimes have uncomfortable conversations because that
could lead to a spike in your marriage or in
your relationship. That could lead to better things, or it
can lead to worse things. But for better or for worse,
honesty and communication definitely applies seriously because that's how you
(19:50):
know whether you want to leave a situation or you
want to work to keep it. You know you want
to work at it. That's how y'all realize the worth
in the relationship at all, to see, you know, regardless
or not, you know, if we can.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Make this work.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
We ain't gonna go cheat on each other because if
I feel like I really want to step out, we
don't belong together, we can't be together. It has to
be like some type of maturity, some type of communication
level where y'all can come together and say that, look, yo,
before I cheat on you, before I make a selfish
decision to not give you a choice to leave me
or to fix whatever I feel like you ain't you're
(20:25):
lacking or if I'm lacking, before I go down that
road of betraying you and defying you. You know, I
think we should give it a try, or I just
want to break up with you because I don't want.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
To have to cheat on you. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
People are not there yet, a lot of people ain't
mature enough to make those decisions.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
But this is where we can start.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
If people start being honest like that, I think we
would have a lot less cheating.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Seriously, sometimes people cheat because they like it.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
It's fun. It's fun doing something you ain't supposed to
be doing. You know, It's fun until it ain't fun
no more, you know what I mean. So I think
that shit could have been avoided this whole fight because
now he probably don't even want to fucking deal with you,
you know, because you don't turn the physical, which does
not justify him cheating, but you don't probably put your
(21:20):
hands on this nigga before.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Some type of way. I don't know, girl, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
You're not telling me, because if he getting abused at home, yeah,
I would be shacking up with Bernardette from the job too,
you know, and it is she older, because if she older,
he probably felt like he can save it. She can
save his ass from you. Shit girl, you can't be
going mighty jo Young on these niggas.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Man, you can't. You can't.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
And as bad as I feel for you, because I've
had my heart broken by going through a phone too,
you know you went through it for a reason because
you felt you felt something. So your confirmation should lead
you where you need to be, not with him. This
is somebody he works with. If you're never going to
be able to trust him again, Let's just go ahead.
Let's just say this right now, because you already said
(22:05):
you felt like if you never would have went through
the phone, he would have kept going. And that's usually
how it goes. You keep going until you caught, and
then you're only sorry because you're caught, not because you
love this person so much. Now, because while you're having
your fun, you're not thinking about this person at all.
You know, or you could be, but you ain't thinking
about them enough to get the fuck up and stop
(22:25):
doing what you're doing, you know, behind their back. So
I definitely am not justifying his actions. I think you
just need to leave, you know, before you become a
little too physical and you lay yourself in jail or
the nigga hits you back a little harder, harder than
you hit because you know he's still a man, you
(22:46):
know what I mean. So just check back in with
me and just the side the side on what you want.
I feel like you should move on. You could do
better than this, And yeah, that's when shit get toxic.
You don't want to be in a toxic, fucking really
relationship if you don't have to be in one, you
know what I mean, You'll never be able to trust
him again. He's still gonna fuck with the girl in
the job because she ain't doing what you're doing. She
(23:08):
ain't beating his ass up, she ain't going through his phone.
And also he should be mad enough to walk the
fuck away, but it's probably something keeping him there. Convenience.
You take care of him, you got you know, good
puss Puss. He also loves his girlfriend of five years,
you know, but it needs to be a spark there.
Something is missing on y'all. And to concern for the
(23:29):
words and y'all growing apart, So grow apart.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
And stay apart. I love you.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
This is the end of yet another episode where Jessice
fix a mess because that's what I do and that's
what I do best, and then my.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Deepest pan voice catch me next week.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Peace Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio
(24:57):
and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio,
visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
to your favorite shows.
Welcome to can't fully reckless the production of iHeart Radio
and the Black Effects, and just like that, welcome back
to you on another carefully reckless episode with your girl Jess. Hilarious.
(00:20):
So y'all know fix the message what I do? And
I still have not gotten my intro. So y'all ain't
spam Charlemagne's comments enough. Y'all need to spam our Heart.
Y'all need to spam the Black Effect. Y'all need to
spam breakfast Club dj Envy because if dj Envy he
pay attentions to his comments, if y'all go down there,
he gonna send it to Charlemagne, and Charlomagne gonna see.
(00:42):
So make sure y'all even spam my goddamn comments, Jess.
We need to just fix my mess intro because it
conna be something like, way are you gonna fix my
mess today? They could be sorry like that. No it's
not over here looking like bitch. No, it could be
(01:04):
saying I need a jingle jam.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
You know who I can call up? I can call
Nick Cannon. He can't make no rap songs. We can
make a jingle. That's what all right?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
He is the jingle King. I ain't we can do that.
I can get that all right, all right, that's fine.
So I'm gonna have to reach out to my buddy
Nick Cannon and see if he can write me a
jingle or just seeing a Valentine. Somebody gotta write me
a jingle or pretty V. I think, oh, I can
get all of them on there, pretty V. No, it's
it's given Nickelodeon all that, ain't it?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
No mine? All right? All right, so just fix my mask.
That's We're just gonna have to do it like that,
all right. This is a story, it's written.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
We ain't got no voice memos this week again because
people people's boyfriends and girlfriends is catching on to there.
It's it's like, bitch you over here talking about our
business and just like I don't know your voice, bitch
y'all forget y'allselves in trouble chap. I'm sorry, I can't
say once he gets you hitting that choke hold. So
but hopefully ain't none of you all getting choked behind
(02:01):
sending in voice notes. So, hey, go to the first
story about to dive right in. Hey, Jess, So the
story I'm about to tell you I might sound like
a bad person, but trust me, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Lol.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
So I was recently messing with this guy and he
literally was a complete bum.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Oh my god. Oh no, a complete dream. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
He was literally a complete dream. But he started to
become very clingy. Oh my god, girl, I've been in
many a situations like that. Me personally, I love clingy,
but sometimes he made me feel like I couldn't breathe
or had any personal space. That's what clingy is. So
she's definitely describing that it was never intrusive, but very overwhelming.
(02:43):
As time went by, I would tell him how I
feel about it, and things will change, but it would
eventually go back to the same thing shortly after I
told him that I needed space. Okay, he totally respected it,
which I loved, but it also caused us to.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Fall back from each other a lot. Oh wow.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
And it may sound fucked up, but I really didn't
feel bothered by it, Okay, right, So no, So then
it's not that that was just you showing your truest feelings.
You were just being very, very honest, and it's okay.
We always make the mistake of thinking and thinking that
we're hurting somebody's feelings by just telling them the truth. No,
the truth is like it's supposed to hurt. Sometimes the
(03:24):
truth doesn't always have to be a happy thing. It
can be very uncomfortable and it's okay. It's how you felt,
So don't feel like that girl. Continuing now, girl, you
know us females have our needs sometimes.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Lol. I think you know where I'm going with this one.
I think I do SCOO.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
So I was drunk one day and I went to
a little brunch with my girls and got to lit
and decided to go over my excess house right after.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
And you know what we did, and we did the
do oh yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Is this girl from Baltimore all time? And we did
the do She spelled deep do d e w like
mountain dew. Yes, you're from the way she's around away.
That's all it was, though, nothing more and nothing less.
But shortly after that I left, I took a video
and posted it on my story, not knowing that there
was a huge ass hickey on my neck.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Mmm.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Child. The guy who I broke it off with called
my phone about thirty minutes later and we were just talking.
Next thing, you know, I'm blocked. And I didn't even
realize that there was a hickey on my neck. Girl,
When I tell you, this man is hurt, he is
so hurt, and I just don't know how I should
go about this situation.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
What should I do? Hashtag help? Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Okay, So the guy that you broke it off with
saw a huge ass hickey on your neck from your ex.
Let me ask you this because I feel like while
you put a lot of meat on the bone, you
still left some meat off. Did he know about your ex?
Did you tell him about your ex? And how recent
is this ex? How much of an X is this
(04:55):
X shit? Because if he's doing shit like getting called
when you need a little bit of Dyno dingy, then
y'all ain't over each Other's what that tells me. It
also tells me that you may have been calling the
ex before he dropped off some Dino dingy. You never
really lost contact with him. Now you could have taken
(05:16):
a break from your ex. And we do this thing
called getting over someone with someone else. We do that
that's human, that's actually on both sides. That's not a
woman thing, it's not a man thing. That is like
a person thing, a human thing. Sometimes we may use
one person to get over another person, not realizing that
(05:37):
we're never going to really be over this person or
we're not over them yet, and we actually fuck up
the new person who actually develops real feelings for us.
And not to say that it doesn't go the other way,
because you could have had genuine feelings for this new
(05:58):
guy too, But you didn't close the door on your
ex like you didn't.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
You didn't.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
It's like you tried to move on before you were
ready to move on. Now, you didn't say that y'all
were together or anything. You said that y'all were just
talking and all of that. But if he's questioning you
about hickeys from a previous situation or just hickeys period,
then y'all got a little bit somewhat serious because if
he can have the audacity, then he then y'all was
(06:25):
on that term.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
So I need to know.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Did you get into a relationship with the new dude?
Like where did you ever tell me he was your boyfriend?
Did he ever tell you you were his girlfriend? And
did you ever agree to those terms, whether it was slight,
whether you did against your will or not, the decision
that you made if it was.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yes, you were his girlfriend, y'all worked together.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
And then using somebody to get over somebody bites you
in the ass when you got to break it off
with the new person and go back and fuck with
the old person. Especially if you told the new person
that you were over or trying to get over, or
you were just getting out of something. If you even
(07:09):
gave them that little bit, then that clears up a
little bit because he can't say he never knew about
this person. He can't say that because some guys will
try to play stupid like, oh damn, I thought this
was the.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Nigga I ain't have to worry about. Uh.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Well, no, you chose to believe that you didn't have
to worry about him. You ignored everything I said in
the beginning because you thought that a lot of people
have any minds that they can try to take you
away from somebody too. But I'll let you know about
this person. I'll let you know I was fresh out
of a relationship. I'll let you know that I might
not be fully over this nigga. You know, this is
the meat that you kind of left off the bone.
(07:43):
And that's okay, because I want an update, Oh I
want an update. And also, do you think your ex
left that hickey on your neck, that big ass hickey
on your neck on purpose? And did you let your
ex know about the new nigga that you would dealing with,
Because you have to be honest to both people. It
(08:05):
doesn't matter why you broke up with the AX, it
doesn't matter if you're trying to move on, you have
to leave that line of open honesty still because you
don't know if you're gonna go back.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
You don't know if you're gonna fully move forward.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
So you have to keep everybody aligned with how you're
feeling at all times. And that's just to cover your ass,
you know what I'm saying, Because the truth can be twisted,
but not if it comes from the horse's mouth. And
whenever you're feeling something, whenever your feelings changed, you.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Gotta communicate that.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Like if you even felt like you was going to
go back to the AX, you should have let new
YO know, Like, look, I'm not over them, I.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Still think about them, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Because even all right, so my parents are divorced, right
and it's only their second year being divorced, they both
are still very honest about their feelings toward each other,
you know what I'm saying. Now, that's a different comparison
because they've been together thirty plus years and they just
broke it off. However, the honesty is still the same.
(09:04):
You know, you're not gonna jump in a new relationship,
especially if you ain't gonna close this door. If you
being you just was married thirty something years and to
one person who you only know that person, it's gonna
kind of be hard for you to jump out there
and give somebody else new You're all.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Somebody knew you're all. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
So, ladies, just be careful when when moving from a
relationship that was extensive and then dating new people, you're
kind of vulnerable and this new person will come along
and sweep you off your feet, or at least that's
how it'll feel, you know, because she said she likes
(09:41):
clingy until it's the wrong motherfucker being clingy, you know
what I mean. Clingy is cool until it's the wrong
motherfucker that's clinging to you, because then you got to
how to You gotta try to figure out how to
unclean that person. And if he's already a clingy person anyway,
if that's already his personality.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
It's gonna to be hard to switch up.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
And if you're not a big fan of a clanky person,
because what it sounds like is you do is you
do like clingy, You just like it from a certain person.
You like it as long as you're into the person.
Nobody wants a clingy person to be honest with you
unless both of you guys are okay with that. Like
I'm clingy to my guy, I'm cleany with my boyfriend
(10:24):
as he is clingy with me. Now, clingy is different.
We both have jobs that allows us to be gone
it will. It demands our time. So me and my
man gotta be clingy because we're not with each other
every day.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
He's a truck driver.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
He has his own company, so he makes his own
schedule and he fills that motherfucker up. I am my
own business. I am a stand up comedian. I'm an entertainer.
My job demands my time where I have to be
in this place, in that place, different cities, different states,
every week, sometimes three times week.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
I travel Listen.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Just two weeks ago, I was me and my sister
was in three cities in twelve hours, three different states,
in twelve hours.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Crazy, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
So that's that's the type of job I have, you know,
So my time is demanded and accounted for, whether I
like it or not. All I do is just say yes,
I'm willing to do this on this date. So clangy.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
It works for certain people. Certain people it does not. Also,
how old are you? That depends as well. Are you?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
If you're younger, clingy is gonna be what you keep
running into, you know, because y'all y'all millennials, and well,
I'm a millennial. You may be gen Z, you may
be gen X. I don't know what's after that shit.
I don't got to ask my sister. I gotta get
the time capsules down for y'all asses.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
But and then, what do you want? What do you want?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Do you want a relationship? Do you not want to
be committed right now?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Like? What are you? How long was your last relationship
with your ex?
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I need to know these things because I want to
be able to properly assess you because while it's easy
to say you should be with the new guy, don't
let the new guy down, you know, because he didn't
he didn't do what the ex did and if in
your ex is the X for a reason, you should
just go be with the new guy. That's easy to
say that, but obviously you're stuck. Obviously you're stuck in
(12:21):
a situation, or it was a situation. At one point,
you felt like you didn't want the ex and that
you wanted the new guy, but you didn't fully allow
yourself to get over the.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Ex, so you started missing him.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
And then you start critiquing what the new guy did,
and you started indirectly comparing them, subconsciously comparing them. Oh, well,
he don't got with this new guy guy. I mean,
I liked the new guy, but he's annoying, and I
can just go back and did with We talk ourselves
into back into the ex's arms because that's where we
were most comfortable.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
But comfortable ain't always good. You don't want to.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Get too comfortable somewhere because then you fall back into
old ways. I don't think think you need to be
worried about and see, I don't know because I don't
know how old you are, so you wanna have to
update me. I need to know how old you are,
because if you're a young girl, you do not need
to be worried about being caught in between two guys.
They need to be working on themselves before they get
(13:15):
caught up with a sexy red or a sukiyana. And
I don't believe you are either of the two, okay,
I don't you know, or a glu rilla.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
You know what I'm saying. We have these these beautiful black.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Girls that are leading us some I don't know the
hell where, but they're leading.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
So while you seem very wholesome, I need you to
put some more meat up on that bone and get
back to me, all right, and we're gonna move on
from that. If you love me, you'll listen to this
commercial and then we'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
And continuing.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Okay, Jess, I need help with my mess. So I've
been having these feelings that my man is cheating on me.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Oh well, girl, you probably right.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
He's been acting distant and less communicative. He's usually an
affectionate person and always that's how he feels about me,
you know, for reassurance. Our past few days, our conversation
started to get more and more dry. What about the
pussy girl? Oh sorry, y'all, this is her story, not mine.
And he would always hold my hand. There was none
(14:15):
of that. Oh wow. So last night I decided to
go through that phone. I know, that's right, I know
the dumbest thing I could ever do. No, it's not,
it's not if you've been feeling it, girl, wait till
you go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
But I need to know this.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Did you take the phone and go in the kitchen,
because some bitches make the mistake of trying to go
through the niggaphone while he laying right there asleep, like
if he move in Budge, he can't just take his
goddamn phone back. And then he changed the password. Now
you beg at square one looking stupid because you're trying
to figure out the phone private. I know, take the
phone and go in the garage. That's what it is,
all right. So she went through his phone last night.
(14:50):
I'm about to continue. I found everything I was looking for.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Oh my god. Saying that's why you needed to know?
All right?
Speaker 1 (14:56):
It made me question am I doing everything right? And
what am I doing wrong? I was so hurt, at
a loss for words. He had been talking to this
girl from his job. Oh my god, ain't got the
worst fucking ones. When the bitch got to work, with
your nigga, and let me go ahead taking her out,
calling her beautiful and even sending our flowers. I haven't
(15:19):
gotten flowers from him in four years, oh my god,
and we've been together five.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
That's your fucking fault. I didn't handle all this well.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
After I was done looking at the dumb shit, I
woke his dumb ass up. I know it's right and
hit him in his face with the phone and immediately
started spansing out and fucking.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
All his shit up.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Oh my god, that escalated very quickly. Jesus, what the
fuck you've been listening to the glorilla bitch?
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Why you doing this? All right? Let me continue.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
All he did was deny and couldn't even own up
to it. Well after you punched him in his face
with a fucking phone. I wouldn't be able to admit
much either, which hurt me even more that he couldn't it,
because that means he would have kept doing it.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Well.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I don't think nobody gonna want to see Willie lumplump
after after you got done with him and shit and
he got wait for his face to clear up to
get back on any of these dat naps.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Bitch. I wouldn't even want to go into work.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
I know the Vinch day he fucking with at work, Like, ill, exactly,
I got a bitch, honey, I've never had my heartbroken before,
and all I can say is, girl, this shit hurts.
Oh you're a first time Okay, you're you were a
vergin to the heartbreak.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
That's why you handled it so physically.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Okay, all right, so I'm going to stop you right here.
You was never supposed to put your hands on the man.
I know it's a lot of y'all listening to this, like, no,
she did what the fuck she was supposed to do?
Bitch like no, no, gra gra keep it a stuck
like all right, yeah, I get it. You want to
be ratchet and rye Ryan and like Lorilla just said,
(16:52):
she puts she put it out there. Then listen, in
your twenties, turn it the fuck up. If you delusional,
turn it the fuck up. You gotta get all your
toxicity out in your twenties. You gotta live your toxic
through your twenties. So I'm gonna just go ahead and
say that you are in your twenties because this is
being pushed.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
So I'm gonna try to unpush it.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
You should have never put your hands on that man,
because what if that nigga puts your ass behind bars?
For not only did you hit them, you hit them
with an object that could have killed him.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
You hit them with the phone.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
You know that's a piece of metal. This is glass
and metal that these phones are made out of. You
could be sitting behind bars all for this clown ass
nigga who wanted to cheat on you at work.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
You know what I'm saying, that ain't worth it.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
But since you ain't in jail, which I hope you not,
all right, good, make this the last time because I know,
I know you wanted to boom boom boom.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
I would even say hit them for me boom, But.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
That's not what we want to do, okay, because you
could have took the bigger l than he did just
by putting your hands on him.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
You understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Hold up, Hold up, I know this shit getting good,
But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.
If you love me, you'll listen. What you do is
you leave isz you leave them, you walk the fuck away.
Y'all been together for quite a few years. You know
what I mean and he han't gotten you flowers in
four of those years. It seems like that's something that
(18:21):
you allowed. Now if you've never voiced voice it, like, yo,
what's up with this? Like you don't let years pass?
If everything happened great in the first year and all
of that shit great, when it starts stop happening, that's
when you got to say something. When you see that
the compliments go from every day. So once a week
(18:41):
you start, you start saying something. When you see he
don't hold your hand no more, you start saying something.
You understand what I'm saying, because that don't necessarily mean
it's someone else.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
That just means that he's bored now, and it could
mean a number of things.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
That doesn't necessarily always mean that there's someone else he
could be getting bored.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
He could possibly think that you fell off with some shit.
You know. Have you sat down and talked to him
about this?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Even before y'all got at this stop right here where
you see he fucking with somebody from his job. Have
y'all had a conversation about y'all falling out of love
with each other? Has he ever said, you know, has
he ever complained about anything? Were you taking heed to this,
like is he getting bored in the bedroom?
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Like it?
Speaker 1 (19:27):
You know, communication has to be on that level where
y'all are willing to sometimes have uncomfortable conversations because that
could lead to a spike in your marriage or in
your relationship. That could lead to better things, or it
can lead to worse things. But for better or for worse,
honesty and communication definitely applies seriously because that's how you
(19:50):
know whether you want to leave a situation or you
want to work to keep it. You know you want
to work at it. That's how y'all realize the worth
in the relationship at all, to see, you know, regardless
or not, you know, if we can.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Make this work.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
We ain't gonna go cheat on each other because if
I feel like I really want to step out, we
don't belong together, we can't be together. It has to
be like some type of maturity, some type of communication
level where y'all can come together and say that, look, yo,
before I cheat on you, before I make a selfish
decision to not give you a choice to leave me
or to fix whatever I feel like you ain't you're
(20:25):
lacking or if I'm lacking, before I go down that
road of betraying you and defying you. You know, I
think we should give it a try, or I just
want to break up with you because I don't want.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
To have to cheat on you. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
People are not there yet, a lot of people ain't
mature enough to make those decisions.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
But this is where we can start.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
If people start being honest like that, I think we
would have a lot less cheating.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Seriously, sometimes people cheat because they like it.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
It's fun. It's fun doing something you ain't supposed to
be doing. You know, It's fun until it ain't fun
no more, you know what I mean. So I think
that shit could have been avoided this whole fight because
now he probably don't even want to fucking deal with you,
you know, because you don't turn the physical, which does
not justify him cheating, but you don't probably put your
(21:20):
hands on this nigga before.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Some type of way. I don't know, girl, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
You're not telling me, because if he getting abused at home, yeah,
I would be shacking up with Bernardette from the job too,
you know, and it is she older, because if she older,
he probably felt like he can save it. She can
save his ass from you. Shit girl, you can't be
going mighty jo Young on these niggas.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Man, you can't. You can't.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
And as bad as I feel for you, because I've
had my heart broken by going through a phone too,
you know you went through it for a reason because
you felt you felt something. So your confirmation should lead
you where you need to be, not with him. This
is somebody he works with. If you're never going to
be able to trust him again, Let's just go ahead.
Let's just say this right now, because you already said
(22:05):
you felt like if you never would have went through
the phone, he would have kept going. And that's usually
how it goes. You keep going until you caught, and
then you're only sorry because you're caught, not because you
love this person so much. Now, because while you're having
your fun, you're not thinking about this person at all.
You know, or you could be, but you ain't thinking
about them enough to get the fuck up and stop
(22:25):
doing what you're doing, you know, behind their back. So
I definitely am not justifying his actions. I think you
just need to leave, you know, before you become a
little too physical and you lay yourself in jail or
the nigga hits you back a little harder, harder than
you hit because you know he's still a man, you
(22:46):
know what I mean. So just check back in with
me and just the side the side on what you want.
I feel like you should move on. You could do
better than this, And yeah, that's when shit get toxic.
You don't want to be in a toxic, fucking really
relationship if you don't have to be in one, you
know what I mean, You'll never be able to trust
him again. He's still gonna fuck with the girl in
the job because she ain't doing what you're doing. She
(23:08):
ain't beating his ass up, she ain't going through his phone.
And also he should be mad enough to walk the
fuck away, but it's probably something keeping him there. Convenience.
You take care of him, you got you know, good
puss Puss. He also loves his girlfriend of five years,
you know, but it needs to be a spark there.
Something is missing on y'all. And to concern for the
(23:29):
words and y'all growing apart, So grow apart.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
And stay apart. I love you.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
This is the end of yet another episode where Jessice
fix a mess because that's what I do and that's
what I do best, and then my.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Deepest pan voice catch me next week.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Peace Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio
(24:57):
and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio,
visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
to your favorite shows.
Host
Jess Hilarious
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