September 20, 2023 • 26 mins
Hey y'all! One of the listeners is back again for some more “relationship” advice from Jess and another one needs help saving her friendship! Very relatable, very entertaining. Tap in!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio
and the Black Effects Oh shit were on an air.
Welcome back to you another Catholey Reckless episode with your
girl Jess. Hilarious because what I'll be doing, I'll be
(00:22):
fixing mess y'all. All right, let's get straight into it.
We got a juicy story today. We don't have any
voice memos. We just got straight words, y'all. This person
wrote me a book, but it's gonna be good. Listen, Jess,
I'm back and damn just I'm back, and yeah, I
really need your help. Thank you again. Okay, So right now,
(00:44):
me and my ex have been dealing with each other
on and off for about four years. And yes, the
question you're probably wondering, was it his fault? Yes, it's
his fault every time. I haven't saw him in about
three months until recently I invited him to my hotel
for a drink. I don't know why I did it.
I mean because you missed him. You was probably already
drinking and was like, shit, I need a little dicky dicky.
(01:05):
So then you called him. Let me continue. I was
just feeling spontaneous and I was bored Okay. We sat
in the lobby and literally talked for like five hours
and it was very positive. Oh, y'all missed each other. Honey.
It was like I was talking to a whole new
person and I kind of was feeling him again. Oh
I know, that's right. That's what happened. When you create time,
when you put time in between you and a person,
(01:27):
or create space in between you and a person, it
could be for the better, it could be for the worse.
So they were talking for five hours, Okay, So I
invited him to stay. Oh oh, and when I tell you,
the night was amazing, it was amazing. And I said
amazing like that because she had all cats y'all. We
watched our favorite shows and movies and ordered our favorite
food like we used to, and also did shroms. Oh yeah,
(01:48):
I know that sex was ball Doc kill On. Oh yeah,
all right. He ended up going to sleep before me
and leaving me up with a racing mind. Oh yeah,
when you on shrooms, y'all just want to let you
know your mind wanders even when you don't want it to.
That is a high you cannot control. So I know
she was going through it. Wait, how the hell he
go to sleep on some shrooms. Y'all must have had
the bullshit trims, because I can't ever go to sleep
(02:10):
on shrooms. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know,
y'all let me know. If y'all go to sleep on them,
they leave me up for hours. Girl, tell me why.
I saw him put the cold in his phone earlier
that day and reverted back to it that night. Oh shit,
and he was on shrooms. Oh lord, don't go through
a niggaphone for one, but don't go through a niggaphone
on shrooms. And I decided to go through his phone.
(02:33):
I know what you're thinking, Yeah, bitch, you're crazy, but
I don't care. I did it, and I was happy
I did it. I found out everything I needed to know,
and I even found out what he was doing while
we were still together. Oh shit, girl, you went how
far back did your goal? God damn? She said. Listen.
He was sleep and I was up shrimming, bitch, I
had all the time I needed. He was literally lying
(02:56):
to me the whole time. I was crushed, and then
you know, I was on shterms, so my mind was everywhere,
which made me wake his ass up. And I told
him when he get us olf together, he needs to
get the fuck out. He looked at me very confused,
so I had to repeat myself, when you get yourself together,
get the fuck out. And then this nigga acted like
he didn't know anything I was talking about. I told
(03:18):
him to open up his phone and go to his
messages once he was done. He needed to get the
fuck out. And I don't know what delusional type of
shit he was on, but he proceeded to go to
his messages like he didn't know what the fuck I
was talking about and was just looking stupid and started crying.
I didn't give a fuck. This literally took me back
to the reason why we broke up in the first place.
(03:39):
So my question to you is why are all these
niggas clowns and why they be so in denial and
delusional and liars. Oh my god, this girl, this girl
gonna get me an award. I'm telling you, because she
comes to me for her mess all the time. Y'all.
This is somebody, and I'm wondering her life is always
in some day shambles. I'm trying to figure out why
(04:02):
she don't write a goddamn book. She need to be
helping fixed mess. That's what she needed to do, because
she's been through a lot, and she's she seems very
wise because she goes through something every week. So like
I find myself helping this girl every week. But I
love it. Okay, So in all seriousness, first and foremost,
I'm questioning why you would go through his phone if
(04:23):
y'all technically wasn't together. You said you missed them, y'all
technically haven't even been together seeing each other in a while,
you know, And this wasn't just somebody you was fucking
with for a few months. This was an actual relationship.
I remember your story before. This was an actual relationship,
you know, like for years and years, you know, and
then y'all broke up for whatever reason. Of course, you
(04:44):
told me that it was his fault. Okay, So you
created a distance between you guys and put a lot
of time and between you guys, and people do change.
We're gonna stop pushing that narrative, like people don't evolve,
and people don't change, and people don't stop cheating that
saying once it chet are always a cheater. I also
don't believe in once a liar, always a liar. I
(05:05):
don't believe in that. We have to give people grace,
you know, we have to extend that. As the good
brother ty Reese would say. In my opinion, yes, if
he wasn't your boyfriend, if you guys weren't actually together,
you had no business going through his phone. I don't
know if that's something that you guys are used to doing,
whether you guys are together or not, but that number
one is a no no for this reason. One y'all
(05:26):
weren't back together, and then two you were shrooming. As
an avid shromer, I can tell you don't want to
step foot and shit like that while you are on
a shroom high, because anything could have happened. Anything, Your
mind wanders and then then you start acting out of
your full character. Then you you know, And I'm not
trying to scare anybody away from doing shrooms because it's
(05:48):
actually an enlightening psychedelic, you know, and it's really good.
It can open you up, and it just opens your
mind and it makes you become one with nature or
whatever you It helps you face your demons, It helps
you actually get out any anything that you have bottled up,
and you feel good about it. It's also a body high,
so you're numb to a lot of shit. And I'm
(06:10):
really really selling this shit here. This is you know,
but shrooms are used for a bunch of different things
across the world. But it's really really good. It's it's
an enlightening psychedelic So I don't like to step in
anything negative while I'm shrewming. And I know you as
a female, you couldn't help it, you know. And then
also y'all sit in that lobby and y'all talked for
(06:30):
those five hours, went down memory lane, came back as lovers.
After y'all came back from memory Lane, and y'all went
upstairs and y'all did the goddamn do. But before y'all
got there, it was just a rekindle, you know, a flame,
an old flame. Y'all are each other's old flame, you know.
So it's like, damn, and that happens. That happens more
often than not. I want people to understand that, like
(06:53):
it's okay reconnecting with an X it is. It really is.
When it becomes not okay is when y'all haven't gotten passed.
Whatever the reason may be that y'all are exes. If
y'all didn't put everything out on the table and iron
those kinks out, because that's honestly what y'all should have
talked about. If y'all were planning to sleep together and
(07:16):
you was planning to go through the phone, I think
you just probably got a little carried away just looking
for something. Because you know, as a woman, we can
lay down with our ex and we can feel all
that shit come back, and we can say, oh shit,
I want you back. We can make a decision like,
all right, I'm gonna just fuck back with them. But
we get curious because we never got over what they
did to us before. But we just love them so
(07:37):
much and in that moment, we don't give a fuck
your mind right now in this moment, and everything good
that we had is coming back because we're really in
a good mood right now. Y'all never talked about and
ironed out the kinks of what happened to y'all before
in that relationship. So you got a little carried away
(07:58):
and you went through his phone, But you shouldn't have
touched this phone if you weren't his girlfriend. But that's
what that five hours of conversation didn't That's what I
was trying to say. I know it sounds like I'm
talking in circles. Yeah, that's what that five hours of
conversation was. Don't nobody just sit with somebody for five hours?
And like you said, you didn't even plan to sleep
with him. You missed him. You know you were bored.
You said you were bored, but I think you missed
(08:19):
him because God, when you bored, there's so many other
things to do when you bored. You ain't got to
call your X, you know what I mean. But yeah,
he doesn't owe you any loyalty now because you guys
are not together. And now I want to know this, say,
if he would have went through your phone, would he
have found something? And you didn't put that in there?
(08:41):
You didn't, you know, I don't know if you even
will when you respond back or keep me updated. Would
he be able to go through your phone and not
see anything, because then that's just us trying to have
our cake and need it too. You can't get upset
at him about something that you're doing too, because then
it's a contradiction and you probably feel like, well, this
(09:02):
don't for saying to me because he cheated first, and
this that and the other. And yeah, but two wrongs
don't make it right. I know you heard that cliche saying,
you know, I know it sounds very cliche, but it's
it's the truth. You know, two wrongs don't make it right.
You need to tell me what do you want? What
do you want? Do you want to be back with him?
Do you? Cause you said it reminded you going through
his phone reminded you when you saw whatever you saw
(09:24):
of why you left. But y'all weren't together in that moment,
you know. And I know you can go on and
say I don't care, I don't give a fuck, but
that's why I can't trust him. You called them, You
called them to come there to the hotel. Yeah, he
was an X for a reason. He is an X
for a reason. But you called him, you know, And
(09:45):
has he been reaching out to you? Also? Tell me, like,
did he ever try to get you back when you
left for what he did? Or you know, has he
ever stopped trying? Because it could be one or two things.
He could have been on your line real heavy and
you just gave in because you were sitting at the barge.
That's also a possibility because if you went a long
time without talking to him. You were just holding out
(10:06):
as long as you could, you know. And I've been
there too, girl, getting away from somebody that I love
so much because they don't treat me as good as
I deserve to be treated. But we turn a blind
eye to a lot of things that these men do,
you know, because we want to be loved, then we
do love them, you know. So it is what it is.
But in this situation, I would say, you were absolutely wrong.
(10:31):
But if this is something that you want, I think
you guys should work at it. I think what you
guys should do is meet up, because it seems like
it's still a lot of love there and it seems
like just the instant replay of the breakup. But y'all
wouldn't have found y'allselves back in each other's presence if
there was nothing else there to fix. If you feel
(10:51):
like it's worth fighting for, I say, y'all, meet up.
Y'all have a goddamn conversation. Y'all put everything on the table.
You tell him what you do. You tell them. I
don't care if you got four or five niggas that
you just entertaining right now. You tell him that you
tell him that because you can't go through his phone
and figure out every fucking thing he doing, and then
he asks you about what you're doing, and then you
(11:12):
start lying. I've done that as well, because we feel
like what they won't know, what they don't know won't
hurt them because men takes Men take that shit a
lot harder than we take it, to be honest, if
we're being honest. I'm not saying all men, but in
my experience, men take their excess dealing with other men
(11:34):
or moving on way worse than we take it. They
keep it bottled up. They keep it bottled up. They
don't really show outwork, they don't really show that shit.
We're just emotional creatures as women, you know. But guys
they have a hard time coping with that when somebody
has moved on and heartbreaks and men have heartbreaks as well,
(11:54):
you know. So I think y'all should just lay it
out on the table. You tell him what you're doing,
he tell you what. I guess what you already know
because you done went through everything, girl, I know you
done went through the DMS. You can't go through the
messages without going to the DMS, and you can't go
through the dams without going on Twitter and the messages,
and you can't check the Twitter without going in the
recent calls, and you can't check the recent calls without
going in the FaceTime. I mean, if you don't have
(12:16):
an iPhone, do you know, then I don't know how
to manroids work. But that's how it worked when you're
going through a nigga I phone because I've been through
more than I can even remember. So yes, I know that.
So girl, you and then he was on them rooms.
I know you didn't check this nigga apps like I
know you didn't. Girl. Girl, you don't probably scroll through
the context to see if he's storing a bitch's name
(12:38):
under a nigga's name. Girl, I listen, I didn't done
it at all, So I know you probably was check
checking to see if he got a text free app, girl,
cause them niggas do that too, But so do we
because I've done that as well, damn Ina putting my
business out there. But that's what I gotta do to
help y'all fix y'all mess because I ain't squeaky clean,
I ain't perfect patty. I'm not cookie cutter, y'all know.
(13:00):
So that's what I think. I think you should also
write me back, update me again, you know, just letting
me know if this is what you really want, because
I think you do. You wrote me about this man before,
and I think you do. I just think that y'all
are y'all have grown to be very toxic, and I
still think that you can turn that around though. Y'all
just have to be more communicative with each other, and
y'all have to be honest about everything, honest, even you, Missy.
(13:22):
You know, you going around snooping and shit playing private eye.
If he started doing the same thing. It's a lot
of things I'm pretty sure that he would find in
your phone that would not make him happy. It doesn't
matter who is the reason for y'all breaking up, you
know what I mean. All that matters is that you
still want this man somehow, some way, and so y'all
have to come to a come to a common ground,
(13:43):
you know. And this is what made me leave you before.
I felt betrayed. I felt although you weren't my boyfriend,
because I do think you owe him an apology for
going through his phone although you weren't my boyfriend, but
I still think you owe him an apology with an
explanation like, Yo, that just triggered me, because that triggered you.
I don't care which that triggered you. You were like,
(14:04):
oh shit, because you said you had a flashback of
why y'all broke up. So that tells me that you're
not healed and you don't trust him fully, but that
doesn't stop you from loving him. So you need to
decide whether you're going to walk away from it all
together or if you're going to try to trust him,
because you can't say you can't get back with somebody
that you didn't forgive for doing you wrong previously, because
(14:27):
then you're gonna grow to hate him and then you know,
and it's not fair for either one of you. So
keep me updated, let me know what's going on, because
I needed and I always say, if you love me,
you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right
back moving on. We have another story. This one is
also written Hey Jess. So me and one of my
(14:49):
closest friends had a fallen out right after I moved away.
I had to move away because I met the man
of my dreams and he works as a contractor, so
he landed a big contract in Houston. I said contract.
I said that really literate, and y'all heard, y'all heard,
and say, I know, y'all, dad, let me say it
over landed a big contract in Houston, which is where
(15:10):
we now live. Long story short, he proposed, and I'm
getting married soon, but still haven't spoken to my friend
in a while. I'm torn I wouldn't feel right getting
married without her there by my side. I've reached out
multiple times and I just have been left on red
and she hasn't returned any of my calls. Wow, what
the hell y'all fall out about? Jesus? So I'm trying
(15:32):
to figure out whether or not I should even invite
her because she hasn't responded in a year. Damn. The
reason for the falling out is because I told her
I would Okay, look you about to answer my question. Good.
The reason for the falling out is because I told
her I would have to up and move to Houston
from Ohio and her and I plan to start a
(15:53):
business together, as we always said we would do when
we were younger, but things changed for both of our
lives suddenly. What should I do? Hmm? Okay, So I
say a lot of a lot of interesting parts about
this story I want to pick out. Okay, so she's
one of your closest friends. Oh so you didn't say
best friend. Okay, but I'm just gonna say you're you're
(16:16):
a really good friend. I'll just say that. Okay. Y'all
had a fallen out and you moved away right after that.
And the falling out was because of your move. You
were telling her that you had to just up and
move to Houston because you know, your boyfriend at the time,
who was now your fiance. Your boyfriend is this big
contractor and he landed a really good, a big contract
(16:39):
in Houston. So you had to move from Ohio to Houston.
So you didn't even move down the street from your
best friend, you know, from your good friend. You moved
like miles and miles and I'm talking about hundreds of
thousands of miles away. You moved where she has to
she can drive, but you know, ultimately she would have
to fly to you, you know, if she didn't want
to drive. You know, So you didn't just move in
(17:00):
Cincinnati and y'all niggas was living in Cleveland, y'all. Uh uh, y'all,
y'all y'all moved, you moved far, okay, and then you said,
and then he proposed to you, and congratulations. I love love,
I love wedding bells, I love all of that. So congratulations, girly.
But you went on to say you reached out even
(17:21):
after the argument. I don't know. Did you wait to
reach out? Did you reach out immediately when you got
to Houston? I need a little bit more meat on
the bone, I don't. These are the things I don't know. However,
I still can, you know, give you advice without all
that meat. But I wanted to know how long did
you wait to even hit her? You know? Was it
(17:42):
a long time? And then also were you posting does
she still follow you on social media? Were you able
to see that she was watching you and your story?
Now you may not be a person to see to
go through views and see what's going on, but you
know this is your good friend, and if you want
to see if she's been keeping track of you but
not just not reaching out to you or talking directly
(18:04):
to you, that's what you do. You can go through
I mean, because that would obviously state that she still cares,
but she's just still angry. I think what it is.
Y'all been friends for so long, and y'all had life
plans as friends to do business together. You know what
I'm saying. This reminds me of the movie Bride'smaids that
I actually watched. It was one of my favorite movies.
It was two best friends. One of them got married
(18:26):
and was moving away, actually moving further away than her
best friend would have liked, you know, and they were
supposed to I don't I don't remember. I don't quite
remember if they were supposed to go into business together,
but I know that they had plans to do things
together just as best friends. And she kind of felt
like our best friend was taken away from her abruptly,
(18:48):
and you know, and we're not going to be able
to be down the street from each other anymore. We're
not gonna be able to have these long, long, long conversations.
You know, you have a man now, you know, So
getting away from that movie, although it is real life,
your situation is very common. That's the point of me
bringing up the movie. It's very common. So I think
(19:09):
your best friend is just dealing with having to see
you level up, and it's and also this is not
me calling her a hater in a bad way. This
is not me saying that she's jealous of you, or
she's envious or whatever. That may be the case, but
it's not bad being jealous. Jealousy is not always bad.
It's not, it's not. It's not that. It's totally human
(19:32):
to be jealous of someone that was very close to you,
who just took off when we were supposed to be
building to take off together. You know, do you get
what I'm saying? You kind of see my drift. It's
nothing wrong with being honest enough to say, yo, I
felt like you and I and I don't know if
your best friend, your good friend is ever gonna tell
(19:53):
you this or be honest enough with you about it.
But you're always like you left me here struggling. We
used to struggle together, and although not your responsibility, and
you don't have an obligation to stay here and struggle
with me. If your life is presenting you, if it blessings,
if your life is presenting you blessings at a certain time,
because both of you, guys's journey are different. You know,
(20:15):
maybe she'll take off next year. Maybe you know this
just happened to you in a different time. Maybe she'll
meet the man of her dreams next year. Maybe she
can get the business started on her own. Maybe, you know,
maybe that was a test for her. You know whose
business idea was it. Maybe it was her idea for business,
(20:35):
and she thought that she would be doing it with you.
But maybe she's gonna do it on her own and
it be even bigger than she had envisioned when it
was supposed to be you too. Everybody has her own path.
But you seem to love her, you seem to miss her,
And it's a very very nice gesture and heartfelt to
(20:55):
say that, Yo, I can't get married if my girl
in here. You know, I don't feel right getting married
if my girl is not here. Hold up, hold up,
I know the shit getting good. But listen to just
a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me,
you'll listen. So it's making a trip back home to Ohio,
you know, your old home, because he'll snitz your new
home now, rightfully so, But is that something that you're
(21:17):
opposed to actually going to fly and see her, going
to fly to see her, to have a conversation. Look,
I'm in your face. I flew to you. You ignored me.
For a year. Yes, I up and left. My life
is different and so is yours. You know such and such.
You know, because you didn't tell me your name, and
I don't want you to. But look, I'll just say, Maggie, look, Maggie,
(21:38):
like we we're friends. We're friends first, you know. I
don't want you to feel like we can't talk about this.
We've been through so much. I bet you guys have
you said? She's been your closest friend for a long time.
And y'all made plans when y'all were younger to be
CEOs and bosses together. You know what I'm saying. This
(21:58):
has obviously really affected her. And while you're off living
your happily, everlasting life, she's still, I guess, stuck at
home dealing with the problems that she was dealing with
when you left her. If you can just have a
little empathy for her and didn't go see her ass, now, listen,
if you don't want to, totally, totally I understand because
(22:20):
now in your defense, come on, bitch, not a whole year.
Come on, now, that's what happened with me and April Jones.
When I was going through the shit with April, that
bitch ain't talked to me for almost a goddamn well
it's six months. Six month, yeah, like six like more
than six months. It wasn't quite a year. But I
think we was friends no more, bitch, I don't try
after a certain amount. And me and April wasn't even
childhood friends. I had met her in LA and we
(22:42):
hit it off. She had great energy, so did I.
And then you know, things, I just started seeing things
that I didn't like. And you know, I'm me being
from a different place, and I don't I never got
fully eclimated to a place like LA, so I haven't
been Los angelesed, you know what I'm saying. And a
lot of people that move from their hometowns to LA
(23:03):
become lost, angelized, and I just I, yeah, that's not me.
It's like they don't even know who the fuck they
be no more. You know, I don't know if it's
them running from something or but a lot of people
that move to LAB, I guess Maddie turned into different
people and they they lose their fucking roots. And I
literally have watched that. You know, It's just it's just
(23:26):
I've gone through that that same thing with a close
friend you know, go fly and see her, Go fly
and here do that. Because even with me and April
not being friends anymore and that's falling out, I still
could have flown to Chicago to go see here. She
was going through some things, and I did. I did,
and still do have my own life, you know, I had.
(23:47):
I have my own shit going on. But sometimes it
is bigger than you, and sometimes you receive blessings when
you just act selflessly. And I'm not selfish, but I
just I don't know. I wasn't wrong for not going,
and I don't feel like I was right for not
going either, so you know, but I think in this case,
this is a bond from childhood and it can be saved.
(24:10):
You know, her ignoring you and all that she ain't
disrespecting you. You know, I still disagree with letting a
fucking year pass, but you don't know what she's been
through in that year. So I would say, actu big
contract the husband and gets you a motherfucking fly, and
go fly and go see your friend and then update
me and let me know what's going on. Booth. I
(24:32):
loved this story. I enjoyed it. It's very relatable and
I'm happy that I could relate to it and give
you my own past experiences to kind of help you
and kind of guide you. It'll all be okay again.
Congratulations on that beautiful wedding girl, And if y'all need
a host, I charged thirty thousand dollars off the rip
since he's a big contractor. And just like that, we
come to the end of another carefully reckless episode with
(24:54):
your girl Jessilarius, who do what I'll be fixing mess y'all,
and in my deepest paying voice, peace you next week.
(26:11):
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Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio
and the Black Effects Oh shit were on an air.
Welcome back to you another Catholey Reckless episode with your
girl Jess. Hilarious because what I'll be doing, I'll be
(00:22):
fixing mess y'all. All right, let's get straight into it.
We got a juicy story today. We don't have any
voice memos. We just got straight words, y'all. This person
wrote me a book, but it's gonna be good. Listen, Jess,
I'm back and damn just I'm back, and yeah, I
really need your help. Thank you again. Okay, So right now,
(00:44):
me and my ex have been dealing with each other
on and off for about four years. And yes, the
question you're probably wondering, was it his fault? Yes, it's
his fault every time. I haven't saw him in about
three months until recently I invited him to my hotel
for a drink. I don't know why I did it.
I mean because you missed him. You was probably already
drinking and was like, shit, I need a little dicky dicky.
(01:05):
So then you called him. Let me continue. I was
just feeling spontaneous and I was bored Okay. We sat
in the lobby and literally talked for like five hours
and it was very positive. Oh, y'all missed each other. Honey.
It was like I was talking to a whole new
person and I kind of was feeling him again. Oh
I know, that's right. That's what happened. When you create time,
when you put time in between you and a person,
(01:27):
or create space in between you and a person, it
could be for the better, it could be for the worse.
So they were talking for five hours, Okay, So I
invited him to stay. Oh oh, and when I tell you,
the night was amazing, it was amazing. And I said
amazing like that because she had all cats y'all. We
watched our favorite shows and movies and ordered our favorite
food like we used to, and also did shroms. Oh yeah,
(01:48):
I know that sex was ball Doc kill On. Oh yeah,
all right. He ended up going to sleep before me
and leaving me up with a racing mind. Oh yeah,
when you on shrooms, y'all just want to let you
know your mind wanders even when you don't want it to.
That is a high you cannot control. So I know
she was going through it. Wait, how the hell he
go to sleep on some shrooms. Y'all must have had
the bullshit trims, because I can't ever go to sleep
(02:10):
on shrooms. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know,
y'all let me know. If y'all go to sleep on them,
they leave me up for hours. Girl, tell me why.
I saw him put the cold in his phone earlier
that day and reverted back to it that night. Oh shit,
and he was on shrooms. Oh lord, don't go through
a niggaphone for one, but don't go through a niggaphone
on shrooms. And I decided to go through his phone.
(02:33):
I know what you're thinking, Yeah, bitch, you're crazy, but
I don't care. I did it, and I was happy
I did it. I found out everything I needed to know,
and I even found out what he was doing while
we were still together. Oh shit, girl, you went how
far back did your goal? God damn? She said. Listen.
He was sleep and I was up shrimming, bitch, I
had all the time I needed. He was literally lying
(02:56):
to me the whole time. I was crushed, and then
you know, I was on shterms, so my mind was everywhere,
which made me wake his ass up. And I told
him when he get us olf together, he needs to
get the fuck out. He looked at me very confused,
so I had to repeat myself, when you get yourself together,
get the fuck out. And then this nigga acted like
he didn't know anything I was talking about. I told
(03:18):
him to open up his phone and go to his
messages once he was done. He needed to get the
fuck out. And I don't know what delusional type of
shit he was on, but he proceeded to go to
his messages like he didn't know what the fuck I
was talking about and was just looking stupid and started crying.
I didn't give a fuck. This literally took me back
to the reason why we broke up in the first place.
(03:39):
So my question to you is why are all these
niggas clowns and why they be so in denial and
delusional and liars. Oh my god, this girl, this girl
gonna get me an award. I'm telling you, because she
comes to me for her mess all the time. Y'all.
This is somebody, and I'm wondering her life is always
in some day shambles. I'm trying to figure out why
(04:02):
she don't write a goddamn book. She need to be
helping fixed mess. That's what she needed to do, because
she's been through a lot, and she's she seems very
wise because she goes through something every week. So like
I find myself helping this girl every week. But I
love it. Okay, So in all seriousness, first and foremost,
I'm questioning why you would go through his phone if
(04:23):
y'all technically wasn't together. You said you missed them, y'all
technically haven't even been together seeing each other in a while,
you know, And this wasn't just somebody you was fucking
with for a few months. This was an actual relationship.
I remember your story before. This was an actual relationship,
you know, like for years and years, you know, and
then y'all broke up for whatever reason. Of course, you
(04:44):
told me that it was his fault. Okay, So you
created a distance between you guys and put a lot
of time and between you guys, and people do change.
We're gonna stop pushing that narrative, like people don't evolve,
and people don't change, and people don't stop cheating that
saying once it chet are always a cheater. I also
don't believe in once a liar, always a liar. I
(05:05):
don't believe in that. We have to give people grace,
you know, we have to extend that. As the good
brother ty Reese would say. In my opinion, yes, if
he wasn't your boyfriend, if you guys weren't actually together,
you had no business going through his phone. I don't
know if that's something that you guys are used to doing,
whether you guys are together or not, but that number
one is a no no for this reason. One y'all
(05:26):
weren't back together, and then two you were shrooming. As
an avid shromer, I can tell you don't want to
step foot and shit like that while you are on
a shroom high, because anything could have happened. Anything, Your
mind wanders and then then you start acting out of
your full character. Then you you know, And I'm not
trying to scare anybody away from doing shrooms because it's
(05:48):
actually an enlightening psychedelic, you know, and it's really good.
It can open you up, and it just opens your
mind and it makes you become one with nature or
whatever you It helps you face your demons, It helps
you actually get out any anything that you have bottled up,
and you feel good about it. It's also a body high,
so you're numb to a lot of shit. And I'm
(06:10):
really really selling this shit here. This is you know,
but shrooms are used for a bunch of different things
across the world. But it's really really good. It's it's
an enlightening psychedelic So I don't like to step in
anything negative while I'm shrewming. And I know you as
a female, you couldn't help it, you know. And then
also y'all sit in that lobby and y'all talked for
(06:30):
those five hours, went down memory lane, came back as lovers.
After y'all came back from memory Lane, and y'all went
upstairs and y'all did the goddamn do. But before y'all
got there, it was just a rekindle, you know, a flame,
an old flame. Y'all are each other's old flame, you know.
So it's like, damn, and that happens. That happens more
often than not. I want people to understand that, like
(06:53):
it's okay reconnecting with an X it is. It really is.
When it becomes not okay is when y'all haven't gotten passed.
Whatever the reason may be that y'all are exes. If
y'all didn't put everything out on the table and iron
those kinks out, because that's honestly what y'all should have
talked about. If y'all were planning to sleep together and
(07:16):
you was planning to go through the phone, I think
you just probably got a little carried away just looking
for something. Because you know, as a woman, we can
lay down with our ex and we can feel all
that shit come back, and we can say, oh shit,
I want you back. We can make a decision like,
all right, I'm gonna just fuck back with them. But
we get curious because we never got over what they
did to us before. But we just love them so
(07:37):
much and in that moment, we don't give a fuck
your mind right now in this moment, and everything good
that we had is coming back because we're really in
a good mood right now. Y'all never talked about and
ironed out the kinks of what happened to y'all before
in that relationship. So you got a little carried away
(07:58):
and you went through his phone, But you shouldn't have
touched this phone if you weren't his girlfriend. But that's
what that five hours of conversation didn't That's what I
was trying to say. I know it sounds like I'm
talking in circles. Yeah, that's what that five hours of
conversation was. Don't nobody just sit with somebody for five hours?
And like you said, you didn't even plan to sleep
with him. You missed him. You know you were bored.
You said you were bored, but I think you missed
(08:19):
him because God, when you bored, there's so many other
things to do when you bored. You ain't got to
call your X, you know what I mean. But yeah,
he doesn't owe you any loyalty now because you guys
are not together. And now I want to know this, say,
if he would have went through your phone, would he
have found something? And you didn't put that in there?
(08:41):
You didn't, you know, I don't know if you even
will when you respond back or keep me updated. Would
he be able to go through your phone and not
see anything, because then that's just us trying to have
our cake and need it too. You can't get upset
at him about something that you're doing too, because then
it's a contradiction and you probably feel like, well, this
(09:02):
don't for saying to me because he cheated first, and
this that and the other. And yeah, but two wrongs
don't make it right. I know you heard that cliche saying,
you know, I know it sounds very cliche, but it's
it's the truth. You know, two wrongs don't make it right.
You need to tell me what do you want? What
do you want? Do you want to be back with him?
Do you? Cause you said it reminded you going through
his phone reminded you when you saw whatever you saw
(09:24):
of why you left. But y'all weren't together in that moment,
you know. And I know you can go on and
say I don't care, I don't give a fuck, but
that's why I can't trust him. You called them, You
called them to come there to the hotel. Yeah, he
was an X for a reason. He is an X
for a reason. But you called him, you know, And
(09:45):
has he been reaching out to you? Also? Tell me, like,
did he ever try to get you back when you
left for what he did? Or you know, has he
ever stopped trying? Because it could be one or two things.
He could have been on your line real heavy and
you just gave in because you were sitting at the barge.
That's also a possibility because if you went a long
time without talking to him. You were just holding out
(10:06):
as long as you could, you know. And I've been
there too, girl, getting away from somebody that I love
so much because they don't treat me as good as
I deserve to be treated. But we turn a blind
eye to a lot of things that these men do,
you know, because we want to be loved, then we
do love them, you know. So it is what it is.
But in this situation, I would say, you were absolutely wrong.
(10:31):
But if this is something that you want, I think
you guys should work at it. I think what you
guys should do is meet up, because it seems like
it's still a lot of love there and it seems
like just the instant replay of the breakup. But y'all
wouldn't have found y'allselves back in each other's presence if
there was nothing else there to fix. If you feel
(10:51):
like it's worth fighting for, I say, y'all, meet up.
Y'all have a goddamn conversation. Y'all put everything on the table.
You tell him what you do. You tell them. I
don't care if you got four or five niggas that
you just entertaining right now. You tell him that you
tell him that because you can't go through his phone
and figure out every fucking thing he doing, and then
he asks you about what you're doing, and then you
(11:12):
start lying. I've done that as well, because we feel
like what they won't know, what they don't know won't
hurt them because men takes Men take that shit a
lot harder than we take it, to be honest, if
we're being honest. I'm not saying all men, but in
my experience, men take their excess dealing with other men
(11:34):
or moving on way worse than we take it. They
keep it bottled up. They keep it bottled up. They
don't really show outwork, they don't really show that shit.
We're just emotional creatures as women, you know. But guys
they have a hard time coping with that when somebody
has moved on and heartbreaks and men have heartbreaks as well,
(11:54):
you know. So I think y'all should just lay it
out on the table. You tell him what you're doing,
he tell you what. I guess what you already know
because you done went through everything, girl, I know you
done went through the DMS. You can't go through the
messages without going to the DMS, and you can't go
through the dams without going on Twitter and the messages,
and you can't check the Twitter without going in the
recent calls, and you can't check the recent calls without
going in the FaceTime. I mean, if you don't have
(12:16):
an iPhone, do you know, then I don't know how
to manroids work. But that's how it worked when you're
going through a nigga I phone because I've been through
more than I can even remember. So yes, I know that.
So girl, you and then he was on them rooms.
I know you didn't check this nigga apps like I
know you didn't. Girl. Girl, you don't probably scroll through
the context to see if he's storing a bitch's name
(12:38):
under a nigga's name. Girl, I listen, I didn't done
it at all, So I know you probably was check
checking to see if he got a text free app, girl,
cause them niggas do that too, But so do we
because I've done that as well, damn Ina putting my
business out there. But that's what I gotta do to
help y'all fix y'all mess because I ain't squeaky clean,
I ain't perfect patty. I'm not cookie cutter, y'all know.
(13:00):
So that's what I think. I think you should also
write me back, update me again, you know, just letting
me know if this is what you really want, because
I think you do. You wrote me about this man before,
and I think you do. I just think that y'all
are y'all have grown to be very toxic, and I
still think that you can turn that around though. Y'all
just have to be more communicative with each other, and
y'all have to be honest about everything, honest, even you, Missy.
(13:22):
You know, you going around snooping and shit playing private eye.
If he started doing the same thing. It's a lot
of things I'm pretty sure that he would find in
your phone that would not make him happy. It doesn't
matter who is the reason for y'all breaking up, you
know what I mean. All that matters is that you
still want this man somehow, some way, and so y'all
have to come to a come to a common ground,
(13:43):
you know. And this is what made me leave you before.
I felt betrayed. I felt although you weren't my boyfriend,
because I do think you owe him an apology for
going through his phone although you weren't my boyfriend, but
I still think you owe him an apology with an
explanation like, Yo, that just triggered me, because that triggered you.
I don't care which that triggered you. You were like,
(14:04):
oh shit, because you said you had a flashback of
why y'all broke up. So that tells me that you're
not healed and you don't trust him fully, but that
doesn't stop you from loving him. So you need to
decide whether you're going to walk away from it all
together or if you're going to try to trust him,
because you can't say you can't get back with somebody
that you didn't forgive for doing you wrong previously, because
(14:27):
then you're gonna grow to hate him and then you know,
and it's not fair for either one of you. So
keep me updated, let me know what's going on, because
I needed and I always say, if you love me,
you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right
back moving on. We have another story. This one is
also written Hey Jess. So me and one of my
(14:49):
closest friends had a fallen out right after I moved away.
I had to move away because I met the man
of my dreams and he works as a contractor, so
he landed a big contract in Houston. I said contract.
I said that really literate, and y'all heard, y'all heard,
and say, I know, y'all, dad, let me say it
over landed a big contract in Houston, which is where
(15:10):
we now live. Long story short, he proposed, and I'm
getting married soon, but still haven't spoken to my friend
in a while. I'm torn I wouldn't feel right getting
married without her there by my side. I've reached out
multiple times and I just have been left on red
and she hasn't returned any of my calls. Wow, what
the hell y'all fall out about? Jesus? So I'm trying
(15:32):
to figure out whether or not I should even invite
her because she hasn't responded in a year. Damn. The
reason for the falling out is because I told her
I would Okay, look you about to answer my question. Good.
The reason for the falling out is because I told
her I would have to up and move to Houston
from Ohio and her and I plan to start a
(15:53):
business together, as we always said we would do when
we were younger, but things changed for both of our
lives suddenly. What should I do? Hmm? Okay, So I
say a lot of a lot of interesting parts about
this story I want to pick out. Okay, so she's
one of your closest friends. Oh so you didn't say
best friend. Okay, but I'm just gonna say you're you're
(16:16):
a really good friend. I'll just say that. Okay. Y'all
had a fallen out and you moved away right after that.
And the falling out was because of your move. You
were telling her that you had to just up and
move to Houston because you know, your boyfriend at the time,
who was now your fiance. Your boyfriend is this big
contractor and he landed a really good, a big contract
(16:39):
in Houston. So you had to move from Ohio to Houston.
So you didn't even move down the street from your
best friend, you know, from your good friend. You moved
like miles and miles and I'm talking about hundreds of
thousands of miles away. You moved where she has to
she can drive, but you know, ultimately she would have
to fly to you, you know, if she didn't want
to drive. You know, So you didn't just move in
(17:00):
Cincinnati and y'all niggas was living in Cleveland, y'all. Uh uh, y'all,
y'all y'all moved, you moved far, okay, and then you said,
and then he proposed to you, and congratulations. I love love,
I love wedding bells, I love all of that. So congratulations, girly.
But you went on to say you reached out even
(17:21):
after the argument. I don't know. Did you wait to
reach out? Did you reach out immediately when you got
to Houston? I need a little bit more meat on
the bone, I don't. These are the things I don't know. However,
I still can, you know, give you advice without all
that meat. But I wanted to know how long did
you wait to even hit her? You know? Was it
(17:42):
a long time? And then also were you posting does
she still follow you on social media? Were you able
to see that she was watching you and your story?
Now you may not be a person to see to
go through views and see what's going on, but you
know this is your good friend, and if you want
to see if she's been keeping track of you but
not just not reaching out to you or talking directly
(18:04):
to you, that's what you do. You can go through
I mean, because that would obviously state that she still cares,
but she's just still angry. I think what it is.
Y'all been friends for so long, and y'all had life
plans as friends to do business together. You know what
I'm saying. This reminds me of the movie Bride'smaids that
I actually watched. It was one of my favorite movies.
It was two best friends. One of them got married
(18:26):
and was moving away, actually moving further away than her
best friend would have liked, you know, and they were
supposed to I don't I don't remember. I don't quite
remember if they were supposed to go into business together,
but I know that they had plans to do things
together just as best friends. And she kind of felt
like our best friend was taken away from her abruptly,
(18:48):
and you know, and we're not going to be able
to be down the street from each other anymore. We're
not gonna be able to have these long, long, long conversations.
You know, you have a man now, you know, So
getting away from that movie, although it is real life,
your situation is very common. That's the point of me
bringing up the movie. It's very common. So I think
(19:09):
your best friend is just dealing with having to see
you level up, and it's and also this is not
me calling her a hater in a bad way. This
is not me saying that she's jealous of you, or
she's envious or whatever. That may be the case, but
it's not bad being jealous. Jealousy is not always bad.
It's not, it's not. It's not that. It's totally human
(19:32):
to be jealous of someone that was very close to you,
who just took off when we were supposed to be
building to take off together. You know, do you get
what I'm saying? You kind of see my drift. It's
nothing wrong with being honest enough to say, yo, I
felt like you and I and I don't know if
your best friend, your good friend is ever gonna tell
(19:53):
you this or be honest enough with you about it.
But you're always like you left me here struggling. We
used to struggle together, and although not your responsibility, and
you don't have an obligation to stay here and struggle
with me. If your life is presenting you, if it blessings,
if your life is presenting you blessings at a certain time,
because both of you, guys's journey are different. You know,
(20:15):
maybe she'll take off next year. Maybe you know this
just happened to you in a different time. Maybe she'll
meet the man of her dreams next year. Maybe she
can get the business started on her own. Maybe, you know,
maybe that was a test for her. You know whose
business idea was it. Maybe it was her idea for business,
(20:35):
and she thought that she would be doing it with you.
But maybe she's gonna do it on her own and
it be even bigger than she had envisioned when it
was supposed to be you too. Everybody has her own path.
But you seem to love her, you seem to miss her,
And it's a very very nice gesture and heartfelt to
(20:55):
say that, Yo, I can't get married if my girl
in here. You know, I don't feel right getting married
if my girl is not here. Hold up, hold up,
I know the shit getting good. But listen to just
a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me,
you'll listen. So it's making a trip back home to Ohio,
you know, your old home, because he'll snitz your new
home now, rightfully so, But is that something that you're
(21:17):
opposed to actually going to fly and see her, going
to fly to see her, to have a conversation. Look,
I'm in your face. I flew to you. You ignored me.
For a year. Yes, I up and left. My life
is different and so is yours. You know such and such.
You know, because you didn't tell me your name, and
I don't want you to. But look, I'll just say, Maggie, look, Maggie,
(21:38):
like we we're friends. We're friends first, you know. I
don't want you to feel like we can't talk about this.
We've been through so much. I bet you guys have
you said? She's been your closest friend for a long time.
And y'all made plans when y'all were younger to be
CEOs and bosses together. You know what I'm saying. This
(21:58):
has obviously really affected her. And while you're off living
your happily, everlasting life, she's still, I guess, stuck at
home dealing with the problems that she was dealing with
when you left her. If you can just have a
little empathy for her and didn't go see her ass, now, listen,
if you don't want to, totally, totally I understand because
(22:20):
now in your defense, come on, bitch, not a whole year.
Come on, now, that's what happened with me and April Jones.
When I was going through the shit with April, that
bitch ain't talked to me for almost a goddamn well
it's six months. Six month, yeah, like six like more
than six months. It wasn't quite a year. But I
think we was friends no more, bitch, I don't try
after a certain amount. And me and April wasn't even
childhood friends. I had met her in LA and we
(22:42):
hit it off. She had great energy, so did I.
And then you know, things, I just started seeing things
that I didn't like. And you know, I'm me being
from a different place, and I don't I never got
fully eclimated to a place like LA, so I haven't
been Los angelesed, you know what I'm saying. And a
lot of people that move from their hometowns to LA
(23:03):
become lost, angelized, and I just I, yeah, that's not me.
It's like they don't even know who the fuck they
be no more. You know, I don't know if it's
them running from something or but a lot of people
that move to LAB, I guess Maddie turned into different
people and they they lose their fucking roots. And I
literally have watched that. You know, It's just it's just
(23:26):
I've gone through that that same thing with a close
friend you know, go fly and see her, Go fly
and here do that. Because even with me and April
not being friends anymore and that's falling out, I still
could have flown to Chicago to go see here. She
was going through some things, and I did. I did,
and still do have my own life, you know, I had.
(23:47):
I have my own shit going on. But sometimes it
is bigger than you, and sometimes you receive blessings when
you just act selflessly. And I'm not selfish, but I
just I don't know. I wasn't wrong for not going,
and I don't feel like I was right for not
going either, so you know, but I think in this case,
this is a bond from childhood and it can be saved.
(24:10):
You know, her ignoring you and all that she ain't
disrespecting you. You know, I still disagree with letting a
fucking year pass, but you don't know what she's been
through in that year. So I would say, actu big
contract the husband and gets you a motherfucking fly, and
go fly and go see your friend and then update
me and let me know what's going on. Booth. I
(24:32):
loved this story. I enjoyed it. It's very relatable and
I'm happy that I could relate to it and give
you my own past experiences to kind of help you
and kind of guide you. It'll all be okay again.
Congratulations on that beautiful wedding girl, And if y'all need
a host, I charged thirty thousand dollars off the rip
since he's a big contractor. And just like that, we
come to the end of another carefully reckless episode with
(24:54):
your girl Jessilarius, who do what I'll be fixing mess y'all,
and in my deepest paying voice, peace you next week.
(26:11):
Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The
Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Host
Jess Hilarious
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Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.