September 8, 2021 • 19 mins
Did you ever have to say no to a marriage proposal? Was it justified? Did the relationship end after that? Let's talk!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio
and the Black Effect. And just like Dad, we're back
(00:21):
on the air. Welcome back to another Carefully Reckless episode
with your girl dress hilarious. Now, listen, two things happened
to me in the past week that I need to
talk to you all about. All right, grab your t
grab your halls. It's story time. Okay. So me and
my homegirl we're at a restaurant, okay, and it's five star.
It's really nice. It's a couple sitting across from us.
(00:43):
Now this is like a dating scene or whatever, or
if you want to just get dressed up and go
out have fun with your home girls, take some drinks
and ship. This is the place to get dressed up for.
Like I said, five star restaurant. The ambiance is beautiful,
nothing less than ballroom. Okay. Back to the couple across
from us. Now we see them. They're into each other.
(01:03):
They're like loving on each other. He's complimenting her and
we're nosy, so we hear this. She's complimenting him back.
They're cute. I love it, little cute, beautiful black couple.
Now she had on a beautiful gown It wasn't like,
you know, giving Taylor Swift like stupid gowns. It was
given like, oh, I'm a bad bitch. It was giving
like adult prom like. It was very cute though it's
very cute. He had on his nice little fitted suit.
(01:26):
It was cute without the blazer though. It wasn't like
giving church like, but it was given like very Kirk Franklin. Issh. Now,
if y'all know anything about Kirk Franklin, y'all know what
that man can dress his ass off. I love it.
So he had his nice little waves and she had
her cute little weave. They were cute. He gets up,
he goes to the bathroom. Now, I'm a very complimentative woman.
I compliment any woman that looks good, even if she don't.
(01:47):
It's nothing wrong with uplifting somebody. Even if you see
a girl and maybe she ain't in tip top shape,
tell her she's in tip top shape. Give her some
motivation to go get in tip top shape. You know
what I'm saying. Whatever I go over to I tell
her you look so fucking cute. You and your date
look great as a whole. Blah blah blah. She's like,
thank you, so much. She's like, you're Jess. I'm like, no,
(02:08):
I'm Samantha. She's like you're lying. I'm like, okay, it's me.
It's Jess. And so I walk away or whatever I
tell her. She looks cute. He comes back, the exchange
a few words. He never sat down. This man got
on his knee and he pulled a ring out of
his little man purse. Now, yes, he did have a
man purse. He did not walk in there with it
like carrying it, you know what I'm saying over his shoulder,
because that would look like tragically stupid. But he had
(02:31):
a man purse. He pulled a ring box out of
his man purse right, got on his knee. I'm talking about.
He bent up that slippery earl. Now, if you don't
know what a slippery earl is, you ain't black. It's
a church sho But his was cute. It was like
a cute little doch in gabana church shoe. He was.
He was very, very cute. He proposed to this beautiful girl.
(02:53):
Me and my homegirl was so fucking happy. I'm talking
about we were screaming like we was telling other tables
alert them, like look y'all, look, pay attention to y'all.
He about to propose to her. This is beautiful. So
now the whole fucking restaurant just about is looking at them,
and he goes, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, will you
marry me? Bitch? I like to just die. I pulled
(03:20):
out my phone and we recorded everybody recording this ship
and she said no. Yeah, she she said no to
my man's and everybody immediately immediately stopped recording. It was
not a moment for that. And um, it was very sad,
(03:43):
i'm gonna say, because the whole restaurant got quiet. It
was like silence. Not even a fucking cricket was present.
It was even more awkward than if a cricket would
be present there. Um, so I just started clapping. I
was like, well, great, maybe y'all are not ready. And
(04:06):
he turned around and he noticed who I was, and
he was like even more embarrassed because he had saw
me recording. And I was like, I will never post this.
I will never hurt your feelings or put your business
out there like that. But here I am today talking
about it on the podcast, which I think is more
respectful than posting the video with with a guy proposing
(04:27):
and a girl saying now, now listen, that's that story time.
All right, I got another story I'm gonna get too later,
but this is what I want to talk to you
all about. That brings me to my question, is it
a dale breaker? Is the relationship over when the girl
says no, or even the guy? But in this case,
when the girl says no, is the relationship over? I
(04:48):
don't think it should be for quite a few reasons. Now,
y'all gonna ask me why I know this. Listen, I
told you they were all over each other. They were
like loving on each other. Usually these days, you go
out and you see people on dates, but they're in
their phones. They're not looking at each other, they're not
playing foot seas, they're not touching one another anymore than
I looking into each other's eyes. They were doing all
of that. Do you understand what I'm saying? They were
(05:10):
still a beautiful couple, and I can tell that they
have a lot of love for each other. No, I
don't know them. I don't know her, don't know him.
From Adam and Eve. But I can tell they share
a lot of love and a lot of similarities. However,
they're not on the same page, or she wouldn't have
said no. That does not mean she does not want
to be with him. She even cried, she shed a tear,
she did. But that is a woman who was sure
(05:31):
of herself that she's not ready to take that step
to get married. If I had more time, and if
I had known her, I would have asked her, well,
why did you say no? Is it because he's not
ready you you feel like he has more growing up
to do, or you guys are not on the same page.
Is there something that he just did? Is he just
proposing to make ship right because he just cheated? I
don't know, and I couldn't assume. But what I'm gonna
(05:53):
say is the level of attention that they were giving
each other, it doesn't lead me to believe that they
were over after that night. She just wasn't ready to
get married, or maybe she wasn't ready to marry him
because she didn't think he was ready. There could have
been so many reasons why she didn't say yes. Maybe
marriage is not in her future. A lot of people
feel like they don't need to be married. A lot
(06:13):
of people may feel like they don't need that contractual
agreement because marriage is a contract. Yes it is. It's
something very sacred and it's beyond contracts, but illegally it's
an agreement, and and you're buying it to a person,
and a lot of people feel that that's not necessary
to be together, you know what I'm saying. So she
(06:33):
could have thought that way, but she could be cheating.
Let's just say that she she just she couldn't know.
She ain't ship and didn't want to take this man's
hand in marriage because she still got some working on
herself to do. Also, it could be him. It could
be he is just not ready. Now, listen, it takes
a lot for a guy to get down on his
knee and propose. It really does. So I'm not gonna
say he wasn't ready. I can't say that maybe he's
(06:56):
not ready to her. There are so many factors. It's
so many. And when she shed that tear, she did
tell him that she was sorry, and she took his
hand and she told him to get up, you know,
pulled him up, and she kissed him and she hugged
him he was piste off as a motherfucker. Let me
tell you. He turned around when he saw me. He
was like, yo, like he looks so defeated, Like, please
(07:17):
don't post that. I'm like, I promise, sir, I will not.
I will not. But y'all look so good, and I
want to tell y'all, whatever y'all path is, y'all build
that ship together, keep it straight. Nobody can take her
away from you. I don't even know that. And can't
nobody take you away from her? I don't know you
know what I'm saying, But those are my positive words
to them, and they left. I don't even think he
(07:39):
paid the fucking bill. He was so embarrassed. I said, Si,
I should have paid it for him. But brings me
to my next question and the carefully reckless discussion. When
is the right time to ask someone to marry you?
When is the right time to propose? Now? I know
a lot of people go back and forth in their
minds or whatever. I don't think you should propose if
you've never heard your partner talk about marriage. Ever, some
(08:02):
people just don't have it in their future. Some people
are just not there yet. Some people just don't even
think of it. And this looks like a fairly young couple.
Not saying it's it's bad to get married young. In
some instances it very well is. But they looked younger
than me. I'm twenty nine, you know I'm and I'm
a hard twenty nine bitch. Sometimes I look thirty, sometimes
I look twenty two. Very seldomly do I look twenty two.
But so what they look like they were like, but
(08:24):
they carried themselves very very maturely. I don't think there's
ever like there's ever a right time. I just think
you just have to know there is going to be
a thought in your mind, something that comes over you
where you just know it's a feeling, you know what
I'm saying, It's like a static that goes through you.
Has to be it has to be. Nobody is just
going out buying rings and getting on their knees and
(08:46):
proposing to bitches. Nobody's just doing that. He loved that girl, period, right,
And if this has happened to you, taken to consideration
in real time, there are issues that won't allow someone
to say yes. But it does that mean a relationship
is over? No? No, And then listen, you have to understand,
a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons,
(09:08):
Like you know what I'm saying. Like I'm not saying everybody,
but some people do. Like and I spoke about this
briefly on another podcast episode, like I think it was
like the fourth or fifth episode. I said, you know,
people they get married for the look of it. You
know what I'm saying. They get married because it's tradition
or I just want to be a wife. People love
that label as a wife. You know what I'm saying
when you haven't even learned yourself as an individual, but
(09:33):
you're gonna jump into a marriage that could have been
that girl's preservation that could have been heard like you
know what, No, I don't even know myself. And when
I say that you don't know yourself, you have to
know yourself in and out before you are willing to
walk down the aisle and become one with someone else.
Because if you know yourself, you know what you won't take,
and then you have to know the other person because
(09:54):
you'll know what they won't take. It's a very very
big step. That's the biggest step in a relationship that
I say that people take blindly. Look at Erica and Safari.
I believe that they loved the hype. I believe she
loved the hype of being married. She's always wanted it.
She's beautiful. He is a beautiful guy too, very beautiful personality,
(10:14):
what have you. You know what I'm saying. But they
hate each other now they have two children, or that's
at least what they want us to believe. Whether it's
fake or not, because you never know what's real anymore,
but they can't stand each other on the show online
and I don't know, I don't know what happens behind
closed doors, but what they show us is they can't
(10:35):
stand each other. Two nights ago, Eric ameniz As was
with fucking Natalie None at a fucking lounge talking about
I'm saying, oh, throwing middle fingers up, whatever whatever, you
still got two kids with this man, goofy, You still
got two kids with this man. You can live? Yes,
you can, you can live. Because that they were in
the comments like, oh, she's speaking from a hurt place,
(10:56):
and she gets upset when we tell her the truth.
I think the only time she's she's ever accepted the
truth was from Wendy Williams. But we she hates that
and I love Erica, I do, but I just feel
like she's trying so hard to show him that she
can move on to that it's reflecting on her poorly,
(11:17):
very poorly. She's going through it and we know this,
we know it. But baby, you're gonna be okay. You
don't need to do all of that, you know what
I'm saying. And she probably like, bitch minjo business I whatever, Bitch, No,
you put it out there, so it's my business now,
you know what I'm saying. But you don't want to
end up like that. So at times you can't just
say yes, and when everything doesn't properly align, you don't
(11:41):
just say yes. Now, should she have done it differently
with you know what I'm saying to you save him
the embarrassment, you know what I'm saying, because that could
scar him from ever doing that ship again if they
do make it, which I think they will, you know
what I'm saying, because they walked out holding hands still,
you know, even though she led, he was very embarrassed,
like a scream for him. But do you think she
(12:03):
should have said yes in the restaurant and then got
in the car or got at home, like look, babe,
I said yes, but I don't want to do it,
you know, because a lot of people say yes to
spare the God's feelings. You know a lot of people
do that. Now, how would I have done it? I
would have done it the same way depending on where
we were. Now, if we were around like his family
(12:23):
or like my family, or you know, at a party
where you know, he he invited people that I know
and all that ship, I would have definitely told him
no in front of them, just to save all the hype,
just to save everybody's hopes getting up and ship, you
know what I mean. Like, I definitely don't want to
be the barrier of bad news, but I definitely don't
(12:44):
want to say yes just to be nice. And people
are taking pictures. I told you we were recording that couple.
If somebody records me, it's going up anyway. It's me ship,
Why the funk Whitney record? And they're gonna be posting
and I say no, that's gonna be the first thing
on all the blogs. That is not what I want
to do. I would never want to embarrass my partner,
my boyfriend, my my man. I would never want to
(13:06):
embarrass him like that. So I would definitely say, Babe,
not yet, not yet or not yet not even no,
just not yet. Even if I don't plan to ever
marry him, I'm gonna say not yet. That's still saving
his feelings. But being as honest as you can without
being disrespectful or being you know, being mean about it
or coming off mean. You can come off very mean
(13:26):
and not even be aware of that. You understand. So
if this has ever ever happened to you, make sure
you hit me up in the d M or the
email and tell me about the time. Because I want
to help people do this ship. There's no just fix
my mess today. I want to help you all privately.
I don't want to try to help you all on
the podcast. You know what I'm saying. Y'all think I
make fun of everything, and I do, but I will
(13:47):
gladly help. Like, do not leave somebody just because they
said no to your proposal. It could be so many reasons.
Now listen, second thing that happened to me this week?
Hold up, Hold up, I know the ship getting good,
but listen to just the couple seconds of a commercial.
If you love me, you'll listen. I'm dating I'm dating
this guy. He's the only one I'm dating at this point.
(14:09):
It's still in the end, the beginning stages, you know,
and you know, we're months in and I kind of
irritated him a little bit just with my selfishness. And
sometimes you don't know that you're being selfish. Right, So
he has this thing going on. I have my thing
going on. Right. He's forever supporting me. He knows my
schedule before I even tell him, Like he knows where
(14:31):
I'm going before I even tell him, because he's involved.
He is very hands on with me. He pays attention
to everything. He is a very attentive guy to me,
and I love it. However, it's not that way vice versa.
You know what I'm saying. And I was just out
of town recently. I had to shoot a movie in Houston,
(14:53):
produced by Jamie Fox and the Torry Turner. Congratulations to me, y'all, y'all, huh,
give me the applause, y'all. M much more coming to
the screen now. I was on set all night, thirteen
fourteen hours. Right back here at home, he had an event. Now,
he's an event planner. He that's what he does. So
(15:13):
I text him like eleven o'clock and they like, hey,
are you home, just to see because I hadn't heard
from him, you know, in a couple of hours. I'm like, okay, hey,
you're home. You're good because he had checked on me.
And then I noticed that he stopped texting me. So
I'm like, hey, you home, like you sleep? What's up?
You know what I'm saying, keeping tabs, because that's just
what you do. You keep tabs on your man when
you know when you do that. He faced tim to
(15:36):
me two hours later and he's like, you didn't know
where I was? And I was like, no, I thought
you were home. He was like, I had such and
such to do. I had this. How did you not
know that? And I was like I didn't know babies,
Like how could you not know? Like it's like I'm
in your world. I'm only in your world. You have
(15:57):
no regard for what I do. It's like you don't
care about what I'm doing. But I always care about
what you do. I always ask you, oh, how is
your show? I always tell you before you show, you
better go kill it. I know where you're gonna be,
I know what's going on, which your schedule. I know
everything about your schedule and what you do, but you
(16:19):
don't know shit. You can't keep up with nothing that
I do, and it's like you don't care, you have
no fucking regard. And I was like, for a second,
who the funk you talking to? But then I had
to realize, I'm like, this is very, very true, and
sometimes you have to take a step back and you
look and you have to see how selfish you are.
I'm so spoiled, And yes, I can be very selfish.
(16:42):
I'm a very very good person, sweetheart. But one thing
I do, I do notice, and he brought it to
my attention. I go to extra mouth for you. You
don't do that for me. I'm in your world, so
you have to kind of collide worlds. You have to
kind of like, look at it is give and take
in fifty fifty I want How am I gonna expect
this man to love and support everything I do when
(17:02):
I don't even take the time too and it can
literally take me ten seconds to learn his schedule or
to you know, he he does this ship all the time.
So it's like, y'all, I should know this stuff. You
know what I'm saying, Especially if you're seriously dating somebody. Now,
if you're not funk, would they do? You know what
I'm saying, if you're just getting a dick and you
just you know by bone real quick and yeah, but
(17:23):
serious dating, Yes, you have to be just as attentive
to your partner as you want him to be to you.
And that goes for the guys as well. And after
that conversation we were able to move on. He didn't
hold the grudge. He even said a little joke because
I was in the chair getting my makeup done before
I actually went to film on said film my scene.
He's very understanding. So that brings me back to the
(17:45):
first topic. Marriage. Don't relate it to me right now. Yes,
I want to get married, but that's not in my
plans right now. Listen, right now, I'm just dating, so
shut up. You have to know someone inside and out.
You have to learn how to be selfless. You have
to make a lot of sacrifices and compromise to get
to that point where you say yes wholeheartedly when you're
(18:06):
being proposed to. That goes for men and women. And
I want y'all to take that with y'all. If y'all
didn't take anything else, you have to be mindful of
the partner of who you are with, because if you
jump into it, you're gonna jump right out of it.
You're gonna wish you never did. And nobody wants to
get married just to get divorced. So it doesn't mean
(18:26):
it's over if she says no, and it doesn't mean
it's over if he says no. I love you, guys,
because I know y'all love me. Tune in next Wednesday,
every hump Day, and then my deepest paying voice. Carefully
(18:54):
Reckless is a production of Our Heart Radio and The
Black Effect. For more podcasts from Our Heart Radio, visit
the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you
listen to your favorite shows.
Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio
and the Black Effect. And just like Dad, we're back
(00:21):
on the air. Welcome back to another Carefully Reckless episode
with your girl dress hilarious. Now, listen, two things happened
to me in the past week that I need to
talk to you all about. All right, grab your t
grab your halls. It's story time. Okay. So me and
my homegirl we're at a restaurant, okay, and it's five star.
It's really nice. It's a couple sitting across from us.
(00:43):
Now this is like a dating scene or whatever, or
if you want to just get dressed up and go
out have fun with your home girls, take some drinks
and ship. This is the place to get dressed up for.
Like I said, five star restaurant. The ambiance is beautiful,
nothing less than ballroom. Okay. Back to the couple across
from us. Now we see them. They're into each other.
(01:03):
They're like loving on each other. He's complimenting her and
we're nosy, so we hear this. She's complimenting him back.
They're cute. I love it, little cute, beautiful black couple.
Now she had on a beautiful gown It wasn't like,
you know, giving Taylor Swift like stupid gowns. It was
given like, oh, I'm a bad bitch. It was giving
like adult prom like. It was very cute though it's
very cute. He had on his nice little fitted suit.
(01:26):
It was cute without the blazer though. It wasn't like
giving church like, but it was given like very Kirk Franklin. Issh. Now,
if y'all know anything about Kirk Franklin, y'all know what
that man can dress his ass off. I love it.
So he had his nice little waves and she had
her cute little weave. They were cute. He gets up,
he goes to the bathroom. Now, I'm a very complimentative woman.
I compliment any woman that looks good, even if she don't.
(01:47):
It's nothing wrong with uplifting somebody. Even if you see
a girl and maybe she ain't in tip top shape,
tell her she's in tip top shape. Give her some
motivation to go get in tip top shape. You know
what I'm saying. Whatever I go over to I tell
her you look so fucking cute. You and your date
look great as a whole. Blah blah blah. She's like,
thank you, so much. She's like, you're Jess. I'm like, no,
(02:08):
I'm Samantha. She's like you're lying. I'm like, okay, it's me.
It's Jess. And so I walk away or whatever I
tell her. She looks cute. He comes back, the exchange
a few words. He never sat down. This man got
on his knee and he pulled a ring out of
his little man purse. Now, yes, he did have a
man purse. He did not walk in there with it
like carrying it, you know what I'm saying over his shoulder,
because that would look like tragically stupid. But he had
(02:31):
a man purse. He pulled a ring box out of
his man purse right, got on his knee. I'm talking about.
He bent up that slippery earl. Now, if you don't
know what a slippery earl is, you ain't black. It's
a church sho But his was cute. It was like
a cute little doch in gabana church shoe. He was.
He was very, very cute. He proposed to this beautiful girl.
(02:53):
Me and my homegirl was so fucking happy. I'm talking
about we were screaming like we was telling other tables
alert them, like look y'all, look, pay attention to y'all.
He about to propose to her. This is beautiful. So
now the whole fucking restaurant just about is looking at them,
and he goes, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, will you
marry me? Bitch? I like to just die. I pulled
(03:20):
out my phone and we recorded everybody recording this ship
and she said no. Yeah, she she said no to
my man's and everybody immediately immediately stopped recording. It was
not a moment for that. And um, it was very sad,
(03:43):
i'm gonna say, because the whole restaurant got quiet. It
was like silence. Not even a fucking cricket was present.
It was even more awkward than if a cricket would
be present there. Um, so I just started clapping. I
was like, well, great, maybe y'all are not ready. And
(04:06):
he turned around and he noticed who I was, and
he was like even more embarrassed because he had saw
me recording. And I was like, I will never post this.
I will never hurt your feelings or put your business
out there like that. But here I am today talking
about it on the podcast, which I think is more
respectful than posting the video with with a guy proposing
(04:27):
and a girl saying now, now listen, that's that story time.
All right, I got another story I'm gonna get too later,
but this is what I want to talk to you
all about. That brings me to my question, is it
a dale breaker? Is the relationship over when the girl
says no, or even the guy? But in this case,
when the girl says no, is the relationship over? I
(04:48):
don't think it should be for quite a few reasons. Now,
y'all gonna ask me why I know this. Listen, I
told you they were all over each other. They were
like loving on each other. Usually these days, you go
out and you see people on dates, but they're in
their phones. They're not looking at each other, they're not
playing foot seas, they're not touching one another anymore than
I looking into each other's eyes. They were doing all
of that. Do you understand what I'm saying? They were
(05:10):
still a beautiful couple, and I can tell that they
have a lot of love for each other. No, I
don't know them. I don't know her, don't know him.
From Adam and Eve. But I can tell they share
a lot of love and a lot of similarities. However,
they're not on the same page, or she wouldn't have
said no. That does not mean she does not want
to be with him. She even cried, she shed a tear,
she did. But that is a woman who was sure
(05:31):
of herself that she's not ready to take that step
to get married. If I had more time, and if
I had known her, I would have asked her, well,
why did you say no? Is it because he's not
ready you you feel like he has more growing up
to do, or you guys are not on the same page.
Is there something that he just did? Is he just
proposing to make ship right because he just cheated? I
don't know, and I couldn't assume. But what I'm gonna
(05:53):
say is the level of attention that they were giving
each other, it doesn't lead me to believe that they
were over after that night. She just wasn't ready to
get married, or maybe she wasn't ready to marry him
because she didn't think he was ready. There could have
been so many reasons why she didn't say yes. Maybe
marriage is not in her future. A lot of people
feel like they don't need to be married. A lot
(06:13):
of people may feel like they don't need that contractual
agreement because marriage is a contract. Yes it is. It's
something very sacred and it's beyond contracts, but illegally it's
an agreement, and and you're buying it to a person,
and a lot of people feel that that's not necessary
to be together, you know what I'm saying. So she
(06:33):
could have thought that way, but she could be cheating.
Let's just say that she she just she couldn't know.
She ain't ship and didn't want to take this man's
hand in marriage because she still got some working on
herself to do. Also, it could be him. It could
be he is just not ready. Now, listen, it takes
a lot for a guy to get down on his
knee and propose. It really does. So I'm not gonna
say he wasn't ready. I can't say that maybe he's
(06:56):
not ready to her. There are so many factors. It's
so many. And when she shed that tear, she did
tell him that she was sorry, and she took his
hand and she told him to get up, you know,
pulled him up, and she kissed him and she hugged
him he was piste off as a motherfucker. Let me
tell you. He turned around when he saw me. He
was like, yo, like he looks so defeated, Like, please
(07:17):
don't post that. I'm like, I promise, sir, I will not.
I will not. But y'all look so good, and I
want to tell y'all, whatever y'all path is, y'all build
that ship together, keep it straight. Nobody can take her
away from you. I don't even know that. And can't
nobody take you away from her? I don't know you
know what I'm saying, But those are my positive words
to them, and they left. I don't even think he
(07:39):
paid the fucking bill. He was so embarrassed. I said, Si,
I should have paid it for him. But brings me
to my next question and the carefully reckless discussion. When
is the right time to ask someone to marry you?
When is the right time to propose? Now? I know
a lot of people go back and forth in their
minds or whatever. I don't think you should propose if
you've never heard your partner talk about marriage. Ever, some
(08:02):
people just don't have it in their future. Some people
are just not there yet. Some people just don't even
think of it. And this looks like a fairly young couple.
Not saying it's it's bad to get married young. In
some instances it very well is. But they looked younger
than me. I'm twenty nine, you know I'm and I'm
a hard twenty nine bitch. Sometimes I look thirty, sometimes
I look twenty two. Very seldomly do I look twenty two.
But so what they look like they were like, but
(08:24):
they carried themselves very very maturely. I don't think there's
ever like there's ever a right time. I just think
you just have to know there is going to be
a thought in your mind, something that comes over you
where you just know it's a feeling, you know what
I'm saying, It's like a static that goes through you.
Has to be it has to be. Nobody is just
going out buying rings and getting on their knees and
(08:46):
proposing to bitches. Nobody's just doing that. He loved that girl, period, right,
And if this has happened to you, taken to consideration
in real time, there are issues that won't allow someone
to say yes. But it does that mean a relationship
is over? No? No, And then listen, you have to understand,
a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons,
(09:08):
Like you know what I'm saying. Like I'm not saying everybody,
but some people do. Like and I spoke about this
briefly on another podcast episode, like I think it was
like the fourth or fifth episode. I said, you know,
people they get married for the look of it. You
know what I'm saying. They get married because it's tradition
or I just want to be a wife. People love
that label as a wife. You know what I'm saying
when you haven't even learned yourself as an individual, but
(09:33):
you're gonna jump into a marriage that could have been
that girl's preservation that could have been heard like you
know what, No, I don't even know myself. And when
I say that you don't know yourself, you have to
know yourself in and out before you are willing to
walk down the aisle and become one with someone else.
Because if you know yourself, you know what you won't take,
and then you have to know the other person because
(09:54):
you'll know what they won't take. It's a very very
big step. That's the biggest step in a relationship that
I say that people take blindly. Look at Erica and Safari.
I believe that they loved the hype. I believe she
loved the hype of being married. She's always wanted it.
She's beautiful. He is a beautiful guy too, very beautiful personality,
(10:14):
what have you. You know what I'm saying. But they
hate each other now they have two children, or that's
at least what they want us to believe. Whether it's
fake or not, because you never know what's real anymore,
but they can't stand each other on the show online
and I don't know, I don't know what happens behind
closed doors, but what they show us is they can't
(10:35):
stand each other. Two nights ago, Eric ameniz As was
with fucking Natalie None at a fucking lounge talking about
I'm saying, oh, throwing middle fingers up, whatever whatever, you
still got two kids with this man, goofy, You still
got two kids with this man. You can live? Yes,
you can, you can live. Because that they were in
the comments like, oh, she's speaking from a hurt place,
(10:56):
and she gets upset when we tell her the truth.
I think the only time she's she's ever accepted the
truth was from Wendy Williams. But we she hates that
and I love Erica, I do, but I just feel
like she's trying so hard to show him that she
can move on to that it's reflecting on her poorly,
(11:17):
very poorly. She's going through it and we know this,
we know it. But baby, you're gonna be okay. You
don't need to do all of that, you know what
I'm saying. And she probably like, bitch minjo business I whatever, Bitch, No,
you put it out there, so it's my business now,
you know what I'm saying. But you don't want to
end up like that. So at times you can't just
say yes, and when everything doesn't properly align, you don't
(11:41):
just say yes. Now, should she have done it differently
with you know what I'm saying to you save him
the embarrassment, you know what I'm saying, because that could
scar him from ever doing that ship again if they
do make it, which I think they will, you know
what I'm saying, because they walked out holding hands still,
you know, even though she led, he was very embarrassed,
like a scream for him. But do you think she
(12:03):
should have said yes in the restaurant and then got
in the car or got at home, like look, babe,
I said yes, but I don't want to do it,
you know, because a lot of people say yes to
spare the God's feelings. You know a lot of people
do that. Now, how would I have done it? I
would have done it the same way depending on where
we were. Now, if we were around like his family
(12:23):
or like my family, or you know, at a party
where you know, he he invited people that I know
and all that ship, I would have definitely told him
no in front of them, just to save all the hype,
just to save everybody's hopes getting up and ship, you
know what I mean. Like, I definitely don't want to
be the barrier of bad news, but I definitely don't
(12:44):
want to say yes just to be nice. And people
are taking pictures. I told you we were recording that couple.
If somebody records me, it's going up anyway. It's me ship,
Why the funk Whitney record? And they're gonna be posting
and I say no, that's gonna be the first thing
on all the blogs. That is not what I want
to do. I would never want to embarrass my partner,
my boyfriend, my my man. I would never want to
(13:06):
embarrass him like that. So I would definitely say, Babe,
not yet, not yet or not yet not even no,
just not yet. Even if I don't plan to ever
marry him, I'm gonna say not yet. That's still saving
his feelings. But being as honest as you can without
being disrespectful or being you know, being mean about it
or coming off mean. You can come off very mean
(13:26):
and not even be aware of that. You understand. So
if this has ever ever happened to you, make sure
you hit me up in the d M or the
email and tell me about the time. Because I want
to help people do this ship. There's no just fix
my mess today. I want to help you all privately.
I don't want to try to help you all on
the podcast. You know what I'm saying. Y'all think I
make fun of everything, and I do, but I will
(13:47):
gladly help. Like, do not leave somebody just because they
said no to your proposal. It could be so many reasons.
Now listen, second thing that happened to me this week?
Hold up, Hold up, I know the ship getting good,
but listen to just the couple seconds of a commercial.
If you love me, you'll listen. I'm dating I'm dating
this guy. He's the only one I'm dating at this point.
(14:09):
It's still in the end, the beginning stages, you know,
and you know, we're months in and I kind of
irritated him a little bit just with my selfishness. And
sometimes you don't know that you're being selfish. Right, So
he has this thing going on. I have my thing
going on. Right. He's forever supporting me. He knows my
schedule before I even tell him, Like he knows where
(14:31):
I'm going before I even tell him, because he's involved.
He is very hands on with me. He pays attention
to everything. He is a very attentive guy to me,
and I love it. However, it's not that way vice versa.
You know what I'm saying. And I was just out
of town recently. I had to shoot a movie in Houston,
(14:53):
produced by Jamie Fox and the Torry Turner. Congratulations to me, y'all, y'all, huh,
give me the applause, y'all. M much more coming to
the screen now. I was on set all night, thirteen
fourteen hours. Right back here at home, he had an event. Now,
he's an event planner. He that's what he does. So
(15:13):
I text him like eleven o'clock and they like, hey,
are you home, just to see because I hadn't heard
from him, you know, in a couple of hours. I'm like, okay, hey,
you're home. You're good because he had checked on me.
And then I noticed that he stopped texting me. So
I'm like, hey, you home, like you sleep? What's up?
You know what I'm saying, keeping tabs, because that's just
what you do. You keep tabs on your man when
you know when you do that. He faced tim to
(15:36):
me two hours later and he's like, you didn't know
where I was? And I was like, no, I thought
you were home. He was like, I had such and
such to do. I had this. How did you not
know that? And I was like I didn't know babies,
Like how could you not know? Like it's like I'm
in your world. I'm only in your world. You have
(15:57):
no regard for what I do. It's like you don't
care about what I'm doing. But I always care about
what you do. I always ask you, oh, how is
your show? I always tell you before you show, you
better go kill it. I know where you're gonna be,
I know what's going on, which your schedule. I know
everything about your schedule and what you do, but you
(16:19):
don't know shit. You can't keep up with nothing that
I do, and it's like you don't care, you have
no fucking regard. And I was like, for a second,
who the funk you talking to? But then I had
to realize, I'm like, this is very, very true, and
sometimes you have to take a step back and you
look and you have to see how selfish you are.
I'm so spoiled, And yes, I can be very selfish.
(16:42):
I'm a very very good person, sweetheart. But one thing
I do, I do notice, and he brought it to
my attention. I go to extra mouth for you. You
don't do that for me. I'm in your world, so
you have to kind of collide worlds. You have to
kind of like, look at it is give and take
in fifty fifty I want How am I gonna expect
this man to love and support everything I do when
(17:02):
I don't even take the time too and it can
literally take me ten seconds to learn his schedule or
to you know, he he does this ship all the time.
So it's like, y'all, I should know this stuff. You
know what I'm saying, Especially if you're seriously dating somebody. Now,
if you're not funk, would they do? You know what
I'm saying, if you're just getting a dick and you
just you know by bone real quick and yeah, but
(17:23):
serious dating, Yes, you have to be just as attentive
to your partner as you want him to be to you.
And that goes for the guys as well. And after
that conversation we were able to move on. He didn't
hold the grudge. He even said a little joke because
I was in the chair getting my makeup done before
I actually went to film on said film my scene.
He's very understanding. So that brings me back to the
(17:45):
first topic. Marriage. Don't relate it to me right now. Yes,
I want to get married, but that's not in my
plans right now. Listen, right now, I'm just dating, so
shut up. You have to know someone inside and out.
You have to learn how to be selfless. You have
to make a lot of sacrifices and compromise to get
to that point where you say yes wholeheartedly when you're
(18:06):
being proposed to. That goes for men and women. And
I want y'all to take that with y'all. If y'all
didn't take anything else, you have to be mindful of
the partner of who you are with, because if you
jump into it, you're gonna jump right out of it.
You're gonna wish you never did. And nobody wants to
get married just to get divorced. So it doesn't mean
(18:26):
it's over if she says no, and it doesn't mean
it's over if he says no. I love you, guys,
because I know y'all love me. Tune in next Wednesday,
every hump Day, and then my deepest paying voice. Carefully
(18:54):
Reckless is a production of Our Heart Radio and The
Black Effect. For more podcasts from Our Heart Radio, visit
the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you
listen to your favorite shows.
Host
Jess Hilarious
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