March 20, 2024 • 21 mins
Hey y'all ..Jess had to check some of y'all for your thoughts on her pregnancy and then she gets right into fixing your mess! Tap in!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio
and the Black Effect.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Oh shit, we on the air.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Welcome back to get another carefully reckless episode with your
girl ess hilarious. Guess what you're so Last Friday at work,
I felt my baby cack for the first time, and
I was so so, so, so fucking happy. At first,
you know, I thought it was just, you know, I
had a little gas or something like that, just moving
around on my stomach. But I'm like, oh no, no,
this is really the baby. And y'all can refer to
(00:38):
my page. I put it video on Instagram, like because
they caught my reaction here at work and for her
to kick me. And mind you, I keep saying her
because that's what I'm wishing for it, that's what I'm
hoping for. I'm saying her, That's what I'm manifesting my
girl yet. But I have not found out the gender
of the baby yet, right, but I felt her kick
for the first time, and it's just amazing that they
(00:59):
call that on air, right, Like, oh my god, I
was so happy. I didn't know whether to screamshout, call
my man, call my mom, call my sister. I was
just so fucking happy now. I put the video up,
and of course I go through my own comments, and
I seen people in the comments like she had like
Shane never had a baby before, Like, and I'm blocking y'all,
(01:20):
Yes I am, Yeah, I'm blocking y'all because what the
fuck bitch?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I was nineteen.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
First of all, I don't even fucking remember like the
specifics of my pregnancy. I remember me finding out at
four months that I was pregnant. After that, I was
just scared because, you know, I was like, oh my god,
I don't know what my mom gonna think. It was
so much going through my fucking mind, Like a lot
of things going through my fucking mind as a young
(01:47):
mom soon to be mom, like don't fucking play with me,
because y'all don't fucking know men. And not to mention,
I was a fucking kid, I you know, I was.
I was legal eighteen, but I wasn't adult. I was
still living in my mother's house, you know, me and Rome,
we were young.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I wasn't. I wasn't really in tune with my own
body like that.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
So No, I don't remember the first time I felt
Ashton kick when he was in my stomach.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
No, I don't.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I didn't really fully embrace my pregnancy because I was
scared for my fucking parents to find out I didn't.
I mean, I never wanted an abortion, and then by
then I think it was too late for me to
get one anyway, if I had even thought about going
that route, which I never did.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
You know, Thank God for my son today.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
But bitch, y'all don't know me, so stop playing with me, okay,
and I and it's been a long time since I
called people some bitches. You know what I'm saying. But
that's why y'all getting blocked. So I know a lot
of people that I do block and that I have blocked.
They reached out to me on my other pages, like
why did you block me?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Because your ass sitting up there.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
So then y'all be rude and nasty with it talking
about she really would set up be in a egg
like she ain't never fill a baby kick before. Bitch, No,
I didn't say I didn't fill a baby kick before.
I said, I don't remember the first time my son
kicked when I was pregnant with him.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
But this is what I'm looking for with this pregnancy.
This pregnancy is different. It's twelve years later, dumbass, and
now this is a planned baby, and it's a planned
baby with the man of my dreams, the man, the
love of my life, like my best friend, my man,
my boyfriend, my soon to be fucking husband.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Like this is different.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I'm very much in a different space than I was
eleven twelve years ago, when I was nineteen, just out
here doing my thang.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
So give me some of my fucking grace and I can
be happy about my baby. She my son is my son.
Was like, you felt her kick and she ain't kick
for me. I was like, ah, she gonna kick way, way,
way more when I get a little bit bigger. You
wanna say, that's why I need to be in Jersey
with you, because I need to know when she kicking.
I love my son, but yeah, don't play with me, y'all.
(03:51):
I'm just laying y'all know, don't play with me, and
y'all won't get blocked because y'all think I like blocking.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Y'all.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Y'all think I like that shit, especially when you know
YA really going against me. But y'all definitely sitting fucking air.
Y'all sitting there playing and shit like, don't play with me. Yeah,
and I'm emotional too, so I'm definitely bit blocking your
ways if I feel like you're playing with me. So
now let's get into it. We have a story that
somebody's hyped and they want me to fix their mess.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Hey, Jess, So I'm a lesbian, but I have yet
to come out yet. My family is very homophobic, so
it makes it even harder.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
I've been talking to this girl and.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Have been though key hiding it because I'm around my
family all the time and i know they would question
me about it, and it's putting me in a deep
depression because I want to be able to tell my family,
but I don't want them to judge me or treat
me any different. I am still the same O me,
but I want to freely be a me. I feel
what's really holding me back is that sometimes my family
can make some pretty homophobic comments. And sometimes it isn't
(04:49):
a joking matter, but I don't find it very funny.
At times, I would literally fake a smile and walk away,
but it literally kills me and bother me so much
that they play around with it like that. Mom is
like my best best friend, but it's that she's the
main one to do it, so it's like a and
it makes me mad at her. I want to be
able to sit down with my family and tell them
that I am a lesbian and that there is someone
(05:11):
because I honestly do see myself getting somewhere with this girl,
and I can even say I'm growing to love her.
So of course I would want my family to know
about this. But if my family doesn't take it how
I expect or doesn't accept me, I know it would
definitely crush me. But I will not change who I
am to please them.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Wow. So okay, I definitely do understand.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
I can empathize with you because I have a little
sister and I'm not sure if she's bisexual or just homosexual, but.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
I do know that she's.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Exploring women, and I know the first time that she's
come to me and she told me about it, I
kind of laughed it off because I just wasn't expecting it.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Not that I was making fun of gaze or anything.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
I know. I know a lot of gays, you know
what I'm saying, making fun. I am a comedian, but
before I'm a comedian, I was always just like, that's
my personality anyway, to always play about everything, even things
that I go through or things that about myself, you
know what I'm saying. And my sister, I'm not sure
if she ever thought that I can't come to my
sister and talk to her and she'd be serious, because
(06:16):
I do. I make fun of straight people, gay people,
whoever the fuck you are. I mean, if you talk
about ABU, I'm you know, I'm gonna play around or whatever.
But I guess I never took into account how she
would feel about that until just recently, like maybe a
month or two ago, she told me she was getting
serious with this girl.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
And I know the girl, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
And I've known the girl to be gay for a
long time, you know, far much longer than my sister.
And so what I had told my sister is well,
to be honest with you, No, I didn't take you serious,
you know, because you were dating guys before. But I
wanted you to take her serious, or take you know,
being gay serious if that's what you are, or by
sc serious, if that's what you are, because for some
(07:03):
people it's a trend, for others, it's a lifestyle. You
get what I'm saying, like this is a sexual preference.
You get what I mean, Like, this is not just
something you can put on and take off like a costume.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Like you can't do that.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
So I want you to be serious because people get
hurt over relationships, and I was letting her know, I
don't want you to end up hurting this girl.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
You know.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Not that I cared more about the girl than my feeling,
I mean, than my sister, but I know the girl
was serious about her. You know, I could see after
my sister sharing some things with me, I could see
the girl was serious.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
And I could see that my sister was getting serious.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
She was getting there, and I just wanted her to
think and you know, and to take something like this
serious because, like I said, you don't want to play
around with gay people. You just don't like, you know,
just to say, oh, yeah, I fucked the girl before.
You know what I mean, like you in Layman's terms,
like that's what it is, because that's what I did
when I was younger. You get what I'm saying. I
(07:57):
wasn't really ready to be gay. I was just doing
it because shit, like I was a track considers one girl.
So I'm like shit, I'm a fucking around with her.
And then after she broke my heart, I was like,
oh no, fuck Dad, like I don't want to do
it no more. But I was really just trying it
any way to see what it was about. And that's
okay to be curious as well, but to lead somebody on,
I think is what I was trying to tell my sister.
Don't do like because the girl was serious about her.
(08:19):
So you know in your situation. That's why I can
say I can relate to that.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Hold up, Hold up.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I know the shit getting good. But listen to just
a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me,
you'll listen. Now as far as your family, was your
family like that before? You know, like, because if they've
always been that way, I don't think that it's a
it's a direct jab to you being gay.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
You get what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
If you got imagine being in the Waynes family and
you come out with Marlin and Damon, Wayne's and all
the imagine being in that family and you come out
them people have always played like that. You can tell
they're a very tight knit, close family that play about everything.
They joke on each other for each other's problems and
shit like that.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
You get what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Imagine that now is it one of those things or
do you feel like they personally attack you because you're gay.
Now that's two different things. You know, you gotta let
me know. But I think you should actually say, this
is your family. You know, these ain't just strangers. Sit
down and talk to them and tell them how that
makes you feel. Now, they may be able to censor
sometimes when they feel certain ways, and maybe sometimes you
(09:23):
still may even get those jokes, bea the butt of
some of those jokes. You have to learn how to
be confident within yourself though, you get what I'm saying.
You got to learn how to like really really not
gonna say, have tough skin. I mean, but you know
what comes with being gay, you know what I mean? Like,
it's so many that came before you that it's so
many stories that you know, and this goes for gays, trans, bisexual,
(09:46):
pant sexual.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Whatever you are other than heterosexual.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
If you know, these are just the struggles and the critique,
the criticism that comes along with it. And we also
live in the world today where nobody takes anything serious,
but they make everything serious. You get what I'm saying,
And I know that's contradicting, but so is everything else.
So is this motherfucking world in these times.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
You get me.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
So you just have to prepare yourself for certain backlash,
whether it be from your family or not, and you
gotta stand in that shit. Look, I'm gay, I'm a
homosexual woman. I'm in love with my girlfriend, and yeah,
we you know what I'm saying, There's so many other
things to worry about, and it is somebody criticizing you
for your sexuality. Fuck them people, because they don't have
(10:30):
to go to sleep with you. They ain't gotta wake
up to you. They don't know you, they don't know
what your heart is like, you know what I'm saying.
They don't know you. You know, some people hear the
word gay and just bust out laughing just because of
so many jokes and you know, stigmas that has been
built around it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Fuck that.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
That's why a lot of people don't even like to
be classified as gay, a lot of people, you know,
and in certain states they're trying to even ban the
fucking word, you know what I mean. But if you
focus too much on that shit, that shit can brain
you and take away from your happiness and who you
really are.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Fuck that, fuck all that.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
You get what I'm saying, you know, because trust me,
you ain't the only one going through this. You know,
but I love a person who still can stand in
their originality, standing who the fuck they are.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
And I can tell it really really bothers you.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
But sit down and talk to your family, because communication
is the best thing, especially for families.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
You get me.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I want you to know that, and I want you
to update me. And congratulations on you and your new love. Man,
you're saying you falling in love with her, you know
you really really care about her and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Shit like that is hard to find these days.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
You know. Everybody is either superficial, damaged and fucking hurt
from previous relationships, and before they heal themselves, they trying
to jump in other relationships and make the new person
pay for what the old motherfucker put them through and
all of that. Love is just not easy. Love was
never easy, but it seemed like it's beyond hard to
find genuine.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Love these days.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
So I say, if that's where you're getting it from,
and you genuinely feeling in your heart that this person
is for you. Keep on pushing with that, Mama. That's
all I can say to you. But definitely sit down,
have a talk with your family moving forward. Let them
know and then the conversation. Let them know that you
still love them and you expect for them to love
you no matter who you bring home, no matter what
(12:21):
sex you are attracted to you or whatever, you know
what I mean. Let them know that this is serious
for you and they hurt your feelings a lot of
times with a lot of their jokes.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Now, also let them know.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
I'm not expecting for y'all to get quiet when I
come around, you know, but just have some respect for
me in that right, you know, respect me, don't disrespect me.
I'm cool with a little joke here in there, you know,
unless you're not. But you can't expect for nobody not
not to say nothing, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Let's just be real and then shit.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
I'm the type I'll start making jokes about they ass.
Somebody broke, somebody lost their job, somebody can't afford you
know what I'm saying, like shit, start cracking back at
they ass. If you don't want to sit down and
talk shit, and then when they want high lanst you like, yo,
why you say that? The same reason why y'all coming
at me for my sexuality, the same reason why y'all
feel like y'all can make jokes like I'm not a
real person and this is not my real life.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
You get what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
You can either go that route, that mediation where you
can sit down and talk to them, or you can
start giving them a taste of their own medicine, and
then before you know it, somebody ain't gonna be comfortable,
somebody gonna open them off and say something.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
All right, what's up with you? What's up with me?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Is I'm fucking gay, and y'all keep on shooting at
me with these fucking jokes. But you ain't had a
job since, you know, three years ago. You know what
I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
You ain't been able to afford your groceries for three years. Now.
You got five different baby daddies. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
That's why I'm gay, because I don't want five different
baby daddy.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Start getting funny back with theirs now. I know that's
promoting a little bit of violence.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
I know that.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I know how that may sound, but I want you
to know that that comes with that tough skin, that
come with that thick skin. Fuck that lets some of
that shit roll down your back, because, like I said,
at the end of the day, you're loved, you're happy.
But yeah, talk to your family and if they ain't
to talking too tight, like I said, go to Option B,
Plan B. I bet you the motherfucker's ease up off
your back.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
I bet you. But keep me updated.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Girl, If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial
and then we'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Okay, y'all.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
So next I want to do one of the just
Fix My message that I did on Breakfast Club. So
this woman had called up and she was saying how
she had been married to her husband for I can't
remember the amount of years, but they were together for
a long time, and when they first got together, he
(14:42):
started cheating on her and she tried to leave him,
but he said that he would off himself, you know,
he would unlive himself, basically commit suicide if he couldn't
be with her, and blah blah blah blah blah. So
she went back to him because of course, she cares
about those who she loved, and although he cheated on her,
she still loved him, and she loved him enough to
go back because he and to kill himself. Now I
(15:02):
stopped there just for a minute. I usually I'm not
gonna say I don't take that type of shit serious.
But my thing is my nigga, you want me to
come back to you after you fucking cheated on me
all because you said you're about to end your life,
and then I will say some shit like, well end it,
you know what I'm saying, just to call their bluff.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
However, she got back with them.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
They had kids, they had three children, and he was
doing good for a while, and then he started creeping
around on her again, cheating throughout the years on this woman,
and she got to a point where she was like, listen,
I want a divorce. I'm leaving your ass again, and
this time I'm staying gone, you know what I'm saying.
And he actually really did kill himself because she left him.
(15:46):
What I got from that was those were deeper issues,
you know what I'm saying that that guy had.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
You know, he had the love of his life.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Obviously, he was totally in love with his wife for sure,
but I think it was more of abandonment starting from
the root of his childhood or something like that. Somebody
had to leave him. Somebody who he cared so much
about left his ass. I don't know if it was
one of his parents or a sibling or a grandmother
or somebody. But you don't just kill yourself when your
(16:16):
lover leaves you, when it's your fault.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
You get what I'm saying, Like, Yo, you cheated on
this lady.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
She tried to leave you before, and you told her
that she was going to kill yourself, so she came
back to you. She gave you another chance, and you
come back married, you gave you children. Cheated on her
again and again and again, she said. Throughout years of
their marriage, he cheated, and she finally got enough of
(16:42):
it and was fed up, mustered up the strength to
divorce him, and he killed himself because she left.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
He couldn't deal with it.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
So she was saying that she had blamed herself for
a while, you know, because they not It wasn't just them,
They had three children, you know, and and she just
didn't know how to face them and deal with that.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
And you know, and still have to grieve.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
You know what I'm saying, Like for her a longtime lover,
you know, and the father of her children. But the
advice I gave her is not not to blame yourself.
I've never been our predicament, nor have I ever been married,
you know what I'm saying. But some advice is just obvious,
like listen, that was not your fault. That was not
your fault, because that's a lot of pressure on you
(17:26):
that dreams you like, he was fighting demons of his
own long before you, before the marriage, before you became
his girlfriend, before he met you. He was fighting demons obviously,
you get what I'm saying. And I urged her to
seek therapy, you know, for mental health, and because that
that could drive someone to suicide as well, blaming themselves
(17:50):
for a life that was lost, a life that you
know that they feel, you know, was their fault, you know,
because he took his life. He had told her that
he was going to do it again, and she was like, right, well,
look whatever, you know what I mean. She didn't she
didn't think that he would do it this time. And
then she just got fed up and just tired of
all that she went through. She was miserable in her marriage,
and then when he killed himself, she felt like, damn it,
(18:12):
maybe if I would have stayed with him this time too.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
No, don't feel that way. Don't.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
And there's some other women I'm pretty sure going through
this same fucking thing. No, ma'am, you should not have
to feel that way. You pick your head up. No, no, no,
and you go sit down and you talk to somebody.
I know it's going to be hard for her to
move forward with three children, you know, because looking at
them every day will remind me of their father and
the times that we shared as a family, you know.
But time does heal all wounds, and to help that
(18:42):
talking to a professional person, a professional therapist that can
also heal wounds as well. Like and then we often say,
you know, as black people, I don't need therapy, We
won't need therapy.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
It's not just black men. I've heard black women say that.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Too, like, no, I'm not gonna send on somebody coach
and tell her my business, because no offer them to
judge me, like no, no, no, no, no no, that's
literally what they are for. You know what I'm saying,
You have deep, deep, deep issues with yourself.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
If that's how you look at a therapist.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
And I do understand not everybody is perfect, not even therapists,
but they are licensed, professional people who are put in
place for people who go through things like that. And
so I want to speak to all the women you
know and men who are going through something like that
who actually take the blank for someone else, taking their
own life in that instance. I don't know if any
(19:31):
of you or you know my listeners pray to the
same God. I pray to you every night in morning,
but listen, He does heal as well, and he listens.
Sometimes you don't want somebody to talk back. You just
want somebody to listen. Look, talk to God. Shut your door,
you know, you get on your knees, you lay in
your bed, you talk to God.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
That's what you do.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
You know what I'm saying, And that's only if you
don't want somebody to talk back.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Trust me, He does communicate with us.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
But if you don't want to hear a voice, talk
back to you because you feel like you're going to
be judge, talk to him first, and he will show
you how to love on yourself and how to heal
you heal yourself again, you know, and and just get
through things a bit easier, you know, and and just
have better days than before. And on that note, I'm
gonna end this episode, y'all. Jesus, I've been noxious this
(20:18):
whole time, but it's all right, it's all right. This
is what comes with pregnancy. So I love you guys.
Make sure you tune into Carefully Pregnane each and every Wednesday,
and then my deepest pan voice can't. Fully Reckless is
(21:41):
a production of iHeart Radio and The Black Effect. For
more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio
and the Black Effect.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Oh shit, we on the air.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Welcome back to get another carefully reckless episode with your
girl ess hilarious. Guess what you're so Last Friday at work,
I felt my baby cack for the first time, and
I was so so, so, so fucking happy. At first,
you know, I thought it was just, you know, I
had a little gas or something like that, just moving
around on my stomach. But I'm like, oh no, no,
this is really the baby. And y'all can refer to
(00:38):
my page. I put it video on Instagram, like because
they caught my reaction here at work and for her
to kick me. And mind you, I keep saying her
because that's what I'm wishing for it, that's what I'm
hoping for. I'm saying her, That's what I'm manifesting my
girl yet. But I have not found out the gender
of the baby yet, right, but I felt her kick
for the first time, and it's just amazing that they
(00:59):
call that on air, right, Like, oh my god, I
was so happy. I didn't know whether to screamshout, call
my man, call my mom, call my sister. I was
just so fucking happy now. I put the video up,
and of course I go through my own comments, and
I seen people in the comments like she had like
Shane never had a baby before, Like, and I'm blocking y'all,
(01:20):
Yes I am, Yeah, I'm blocking y'all because what the
fuck bitch?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I was nineteen.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
First of all, I don't even fucking remember like the
specifics of my pregnancy. I remember me finding out at
four months that I was pregnant. After that, I was
just scared because, you know, I was like, oh my god,
I don't know what my mom gonna think. It was
so much going through my fucking mind, Like a lot
of things going through my fucking mind as a young
(01:47):
mom soon to be mom, like don't fucking play with me,
because y'all don't fucking know men. And not to mention,
I was a fucking kid, I you know, I was.
I was legal eighteen, but I wasn't adult. I was
still living in my mother's house, you know, me and Rome,
we were young.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I wasn't. I wasn't really in tune with my own
body like that.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
So No, I don't remember the first time I felt
Ashton kick when he was in my stomach.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
No, I don't.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I didn't really fully embrace my pregnancy because I was
scared for my fucking parents to find out I didn't.
I mean, I never wanted an abortion, and then by
then I think it was too late for me to
get one anyway, if I had even thought about going
that route, which I never did.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
You know, Thank God for my son today.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
But bitch, y'all don't know me, so stop playing with me, okay,
and I and it's been a long time since I
called people some bitches. You know what I'm saying. But
that's why y'all getting blocked. So I know a lot
of people that I do block and that I have blocked.
They reached out to me on my other pages, like
why did you block me?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Because your ass sitting up there.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
So then y'all be rude and nasty with it talking
about she really would set up be in a egg
like she ain't never fill a baby kick before. Bitch, No,
I didn't say I didn't fill a baby kick before.
I said, I don't remember the first time my son
kicked when I was pregnant with him.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
But this is what I'm looking for with this pregnancy.
This pregnancy is different. It's twelve years later, dumbass, and
now this is a planned baby, and it's a planned
baby with the man of my dreams, the man, the
love of my life, like my best friend, my man,
my boyfriend, my soon to be fucking husband.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Like this is different.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I'm very much in a different space than I was
eleven twelve years ago, when I was nineteen, just out
here doing my thang.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
So give me some of my fucking grace and I can
be happy about my baby. She my son is my son.
Was like, you felt her kick and she ain't kick
for me. I was like, ah, she gonna kick way, way,
way more when I get a little bit bigger. You
wanna say, that's why I need to be in Jersey
with you, because I need to know when she kicking.
I love my son, but yeah, don't play with me, y'all.
(03:51):
I'm just laying y'all know, don't play with me, and
y'all won't get blocked because y'all think I like blocking.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Y'all.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Y'all think I like that shit, especially when you know
YA really going against me. But y'all definitely sitting fucking air.
Y'all sitting there playing and shit like, don't play with me. Yeah,
and I'm emotional too, so I'm definitely bit blocking your
ways if I feel like you're playing with me. So
now let's get into it. We have a story that
somebody's hyped and they want me to fix their mess.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Hey, Jess, So I'm a lesbian, but I have yet
to come out yet. My family is very homophobic, so
it makes it even harder.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
I've been talking to this girl and.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Have been though key hiding it because I'm around my
family all the time and i know they would question
me about it, and it's putting me in a deep
depression because I want to be able to tell my family,
but I don't want them to judge me or treat
me any different. I am still the same O me,
but I want to freely be a me. I feel
what's really holding me back is that sometimes my family
can make some pretty homophobic comments. And sometimes it isn't
(04:49):
a joking matter, but I don't find it very funny.
At times, I would literally fake a smile and walk away,
but it literally kills me and bother me so much
that they play around with it like that. Mom is
like my best best friend, but it's that she's the
main one to do it, so it's like a and
it makes me mad at her. I want to be
able to sit down with my family and tell them
that I am a lesbian and that there is someone
(05:11):
because I honestly do see myself getting somewhere with this girl,
and I can even say I'm growing to love her.
So of course I would want my family to know
about this. But if my family doesn't take it how
I expect or doesn't accept me, I know it would
definitely crush me. But I will not change who I
am to please them.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Wow. So okay, I definitely do understand.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
I can empathize with you because I have a little
sister and I'm not sure if she's bisexual or just homosexual, but.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
I do know that she's.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Exploring women, and I know the first time that she's
come to me and she told me about it, I
kind of laughed it off because I just wasn't expecting it.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Not that I was making fun of gaze or anything.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
I know. I know a lot of gays, you know
what I'm saying, making fun. I am a comedian, but
before I'm a comedian, I was always just like, that's
my personality anyway, to always play about everything, even things
that I go through or things that about myself, you
know what I'm saying. And my sister, I'm not sure
if she ever thought that I can't come to my
sister and talk to her and she'd be serious, because
(06:16):
I do. I make fun of straight people, gay people,
whoever the fuck you are. I mean, if you talk
about ABU, I'm you know, I'm gonna play around or whatever.
But I guess I never took into account how she
would feel about that until just recently, like maybe a
month or two ago, she told me she was getting
serious with this girl.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
And I know the girl, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
And I've known the girl to be gay for a
long time, you know, far much longer than my sister.
And so what I had told my sister is well,
to be honest with you, No, I didn't take you serious,
you know, because you were dating guys before. But I
wanted you to take her serious, or take you know,
being gay serious if that's what you are, or by
sc serious, if that's what you are, because for some
(07:03):
people it's a trend, for others, it's a lifestyle. You
get what I'm saying, like this is a sexual preference.
You get what I mean, Like, this is not just
something you can put on and take off like a costume.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Like you can't do that.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
So I want you to be serious because people get
hurt over relationships, and I was letting her know, I
don't want you to end up hurting this girl.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
You know.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Not that I cared more about the girl than my feeling,
I mean, than my sister, but I know the girl
was serious about her. You know, I could see after
my sister sharing some things with me, I could see
the girl was serious.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
And I could see that my sister was getting serious.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
She was getting there, and I just wanted her to
think and you know, and to take something like this
serious because, like I said, you don't want to play
around with gay people. You just don't like, you know,
just to say, oh, yeah, I fucked the girl before.
You know what I mean, like you in Layman's terms,
like that's what it is, because that's what I did
when I was younger. You get what I'm saying. I
(07:57):
wasn't really ready to be gay. I was just doing
it because shit, like I was a track considers one girl.
So I'm like shit, I'm a fucking around with her.
And then after she broke my heart, I was like,
oh no, fuck Dad, like I don't want to do
it no more. But I was really just trying it
any way to see what it was about. And that's
okay to be curious as well, but to lead somebody on,
I think is what I was trying to tell my sister.
Don't do like because the girl was serious about her.
(08:19):
So you know in your situation. That's why I can
say I can relate to that.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Hold up, Hold up.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I know the shit getting good. But listen to just
a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me,
you'll listen. Now as far as your family, was your
family like that before? You know, like, because if they've
always been that way, I don't think that it's a
it's a direct jab to you being gay.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
You get what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
If you got imagine being in the Waynes family and
you come out with Marlin and Damon, Wayne's and all
the imagine being in that family and you come out
them people have always played like that. You can tell
they're a very tight knit, close family that play about everything.
They joke on each other for each other's problems and
shit like that.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
You get what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Imagine that now is it one of those things or
do you feel like they personally attack you because you're gay.
Now that's two different things. You know, you gotta let
me know. But I think you should actually say, this
is your family. You know, these ain't just strangers. Sit
down and talk to them and tell them how that
makes you feel. Now, they may be able to censor
sometimes when they feel certain ways, and maybe sometimes you
(09:23):
still may even get those jokes, bea the butt of
some of those jokes. You have to learn how to
be confident within yourself though, you get what I'm saying.
You got to learn how to like really really not
gonna say, have tough skin. I mean, but you know
what comes with being gay, you know what I mean? Like,
it's so many that came before you that it's so
many stories that you know, and this goes for gays, trans, bisexual,
(09:46):
pant sexual.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Whatever you are other than heterosexual.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
If you know, these are just the struggles and the critique,
the criticism that comes along with it. And we also
live in the world today where nobody takes anything serious,
but they make everything serious. You get what I'm saying,
And I know that's contradicting, but so is everything else.
So is this motherfucking world in these times.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
You get me.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
So you just have to prepare yourself for certain backlash,
whether it be from your family or not, and you
gotta stand in that shit. Look, I'm gay, I'm a
homosexual woman. I'm in love with my girlfriend, and yeah,
we you know what I'm saying, There's so many other
things to worry about, and it is somebody criticizing you
for your sexuality. Fuck them people, because they don't have
(10:30):
to go to sleep with you. They ain't gotta wake
up to you. They don't know you, they don't know
what your heart is like, you know what I'm saying.
They don't know you. You know, some people hear the
word gay and just bust out laughing just because of
so many jokes and you know, stigmas that has been
built around it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Fuck that.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
That's why a lot of people don't even like to
be classified as gay, a lot of people, you know,
and in certain states they're trying to even ban the
fucking word, you know what I mean. But if you
focus too much on that shit, that shit can brain
you and take away from your happiness and who you
really are.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Fuck that, fuck all that.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
You get what I'm saying, you know, because trust me,
you ain't the only one going through this. You know,
but I love a person who still can stand in
their originality, standing who the fuck they are.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
And I can tell it really really bothers you.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
But sit down and talk to your family, because communication
is the best thing, especially for families.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
You get me.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I want you to know that, and I want you
to update me. And congratulations on you and your new love. Man,
you're saying you falling in love with her, you know
you really really care about her and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Shit like that is hard to find these days.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
You know. Everybody is either superficial, damaged and fucking hurt
from previous relationships, and before they heal themselves, they trying
to jump in other relationships and make the new person
pay for what the old motherfucker put them through and
all of that. Love is just not easy. Love was
never easy, but it seemed like it's beyond hard to
find genuine.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Love these days.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
So I say, if that's where you're getting it from,
and you genuinely feeling in your heart that this person
is for you. Keep on pushing with that, Mama. That's
all I can say to you. But definitely sit down,
have a talk with your family moving forward. Let them
know and then the conversation. Let them know that you
still love them and you expect for them to love
you no matter who you bring home, no matter what
(12:21):
sex you are attracted to you or whatever, you know
what I mean. Let them know that this is serious
for you and they hurt your feelings a lot of
times with a lot of their jokes.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Now, also let them know.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
I'm not expecting for y'all to get quiet when I
come around, you know, but just have some respect for
me in that right, you know, respect me, don't disrespect me.
I'm cool with a little joke here in there, you know,
unless you're not. But you can't expect for nobody not
not to say nothing, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Let's just be real and then shit.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
I'm the type I'll start making jokes about they ass.
Somebody broke, somebody lost their job, somebody can't afford you
know what I'm saying, like shit, start cracking back at
they ass. If you don't want to sit down and
talk shit, and then when they want high lanst you like, yo,
why you say that? The same reason why y'all coming
at me for my sexuality, the same reason why y'all
feel like y'all can make jokes like I'm not a
real person and this is not my real life.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
You get what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
You can either go that route, that mediation where you
can sit down and talk to them, or you can
start giving them a taste of their own medicine, and
then before you know it, somebody ain't gonna be comfortable,
somebody gonna open them off and say something.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
All right, what's up with you? What's up with me?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Is I'm fucking gay, and y'all keep on shooting at
me with these fucking jokes. But you ain't had a
job since, you know, three years ago. You know what
I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
You ain't been able to afford your groceries for three years. Now.
You got five different baby daddies. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
That's why I'm gay, because I don't want five different
baby daddy.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Start getting funny back with theirs now. I know that's
promoting a little bit of violence.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
I know that.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I know how that may sound, but I want you
to know that that comes with that tough skin, that
come with that thick skin. Fuck that lets some of
that shit roll down your back, because, like I said,
at the end of the day, you're loved, you're happy.
But yeah, talk to your family and if they ain't
to talking too tight, like I said, go to Option B,
Plan B. I bet you the motherfucker's ease up off
your back.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
I bet you. But keep me updated.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Girl, If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial
and then we'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Okay, y'all.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
So next I want to do one of the just
Fix My message that I did on Breakfast Club. So
this woman had called up and she was saying how
she had been married to her husband for I can't
remember the amount of years, but they were together for
a long time, and when they first got together, he
(14:42):
started cheating on her and she tried to leave him,
but he said that he would off himself, you know,
he would unlive himself, basically commit suicide if he couldn't
be with her, and blah blah blah blah blah. So
she went back to him because of course, she cares
about those who she loved, and although he cheated on her,
she still loved him, and she loved him enough to
go back because he and to kill himself. Now I
(15:02):
stopped there just for a minute. I usually I'm not
gonna say I don't take that type of shit serious.
But my thing is my nigga, you want me to
come back to you after you fucking cheated on me
all because you said you're about to end your life,
and then I will say some shit like, well end it,
you know what I'm saying, just to call their bluff.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
However, she got back with them.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
They had kids, they had three children, and he was
doing good for a while, and then he started creeping
around on her again, cheating throughout the years on this woman,
and she got to a point where she was like, listen,
I want a divorce. I'm leaving your ass again, and
this time I'm staying gone, you know what I'm saying.
And he actually really did kill himself because she left him.
(15:46):
What I got from that was those were deeper issues,
you know what I'm saying that that guy had.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
You know, he had the love of his life.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Obviously, he was totally in love with his wife for sure,
but I think it was more of abandonment starting from
the root of his childhood or something like that. Somebody
had to leave him. Somebody who he cared so much
about left his ass. I don't know if it was
one of his parents or a sibling or a grandmother
or somebody. But you don't just kill yourself when your
(16:16):
lover leaves you, when it's your fault.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
You get what I'm saying, Like, Yo, you cheated on
this lady.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
She tried to leave you before, and you told her
that she was going to kill yourself, so she came
back to you. She gave you another chance, and you
come back married, you gave you children. Cheated on her
again and again and again, she said. Throughout years of
their marriage, he cheated, and she finally got enough of
(16:42):
it and was fed up, mustered up the strength to
divorce him, and he killed himself because she left.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
He couldn't deal with it.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
So she was saying that she had blamed herself for
a while, you know, because they not It wasn't just them,
They had three children, you know, and and she just
didn't know how to face them and deal with that.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
And you know, and still have to grieve.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
You know what I'm saying, Like for her a longtime lover,
you know, and the father of her children. But the
advice I gave her is not not to blame yourself.
I've never been our predicament, nor have I ever been married,
you know what I'm saying. But some advice is just obvious,
like listen, that was not your fault. That was not
your fault, because that's a lot of pressure on you
(17:26):
that dreams you like, he was fighting demons of his
own long before you, before the marriage, before you became
his girlfriend, before he met you. He was fighting demons obviously,
you get what I'm saying. And I urged her to
seek therapy, you know, for mental health, and because that
that could drive someone to suicide as well, blaming themselves
(17:50):
for a life that was lost, a life that you
know that they feel, you know, was their fault, you know,
because he took his life. He had told her that
he was going to do it again, and she was like, right, well,
look whatever, you know what I mean. She didn't she
didn't think that he would do it this time. And
then she just got fed up and just tired of
all that she went through. She was miserable in her marriage,
and then when he killed himself, she felt like, damn it,
(18:12):
maybe if I would have stayed with him this time too.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
No, don't feel that way. Don't.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
And there's some other women I'm pretty sure going through
this same fucking thing. No, ma'am, you should not have
to feel that way. You pick your head up. No, no, no,
and you go sit down and you talk to somebody.
I know it's going to be hard for her to
move forward with three children, you know, because looking at
them every day will remind me of their father and
the times that we shared as a family, you know.
But time does heal all wounds, and to help that
(18:42):
talking to a professional person, a professional therapist that can
also heal wounds as well. Like and then we often say,
you know, as black people, I don't need therapy, We
won't need therapy.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
It's not just black men. I've heard black women say that.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Too, like, no, I'm not gonna send on somebody coach
and tell her my business, because no offer them to
judge me, like no, no, no, no, no no, that's
literally what they are for. You know what I'm saying,
You have deep, deep, deep issues with yourself.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
If that's how you look at a therapist.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
And I do understand not everybody is perfect, not even therapists,
but they are licensed, professional people who are put in
place for people who go through things like that. And
so I want to speak to all the women you
know and men who are going through something like that
who actually take the blank for someone else, taking their
own life in that instance. I don't know if any
(19:31):
of you or you know my listeners pray to the
same God. I pray to you every night in morning,
but listen, He does heal as well, and he listens.
Sometimes you don't want somebody to talk back. You just
want somebody to listen. Look, talk to God. Shut your door,
you know, you get on your knees, you lay in
your bed, you talk to God.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
That's what you do.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
You know what I'm saying, And that's only if you
don't want somebody to talk back.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Trust me, He does communicate with us.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
But if you don't want to hear a voice, talk
back to you because you feel like you're going to
be judge, talk to him first, and he will show
you how to love on yourself and how to heal
you heal yourself again, you know, and and just get
through things a bit easier, you know, and and just
have better days than before. And on that note, I'm
gonna end this episode, y'all. Jesus, I've been noxious this
(20:18):
whole time, but it's all right, it's all right. This
is what comes with pregnancy. So I love you guys.
Make sure you tune into Carefully Pregnane each and every Wednesday,
and then my deepest pan voice can't. Fully Reckless is
(21:41):
a production of iHeart Radio and The Black Effect. For
more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
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