Pride Will Be Your Downfall

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio
and the Black Effects, And just like that, we're back

(00:21):
on the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully Reckless
episode with your Girl just hilarious. Now listen, I'm by
myself today and I have something very important to express
and to talk about because this is actually going on
in a lot of people's lives, both men and women. Pride.
There is no story time. I just want to speak now.
There is nothing wrong with having pride, pride false hand

(00:42):
in hand with dignity as a woman. As a man, yes,
you need both of those. But too much pride can
hinder you from opportunities. It can hinder you from great relationships.
It can hinder you from um bonding with family, healthy relationships,
healthy friendships. It can hinder or you from job opportunities
as well, anything that requires you to have a humble mind.

(01:08):
And that just means open to everything. Honestly, if there's
no no significant definition of humble other than just being
open and down to earth, that's what humble is to me. However,
other people always getting sucked up, But that's exactly what
humble is to me, down the earth and open right
pride and humble usually don't mix. Listen. I was in

(01:31):
a position once where I was dating someone and I
just blew up like I had just gotten the Fox
Show and all of that ship. I was dating somebody.
You know, understand what I'm saying. He felt like, I'm
not gonna treat you like a celebrity because you're on Fox.
I'm not gonna treat you differently because you are on

(01:54):
a Fox show. You're the same girl that I knew
when I was younger. You're the same blah blah blah,
blah blah. You're the same. So don't come around here
with that Hollywood ship. You're gonna be the same bitch
that I knew that I went to school with blah
blah blah. Now listen. And that event, his pride and
his ego would not let him see me as an

(02:16):
evolved woman from the hood. Now, I'm not gonna sit
here and say I came from nothing because my parents
worked damn hard to keep lights on, and me and
my brother had every single thing that we wanted if
we earned it. Even if my parents didn't have it,
which is something I found out when I was an adult,
they still scrounged up in and and and made it

(02:36):
happen for us. However, they didn't have it all the time,
but they ended up getting it for us. So I'm
not gonna say I didn't come from nothing right because
my parents always made something out of there nothing. So
I'm gonna say that. But one thing that I can
vouch for absolutely is no, I didn't have much. I
was still you know, urban, I was still raising the hood.

(02:59):
I still lived on a bloh where you know, you
have crag kids walking up in the street, People get
killed and and people are selling drugs right in front
of your face. As a kid, I've seen transactions and
I've seen ship then no kids should ever have to see.
But that all made me who I am today. Now.
Have I evolved from that? Hell? Yeah? Do I want
my son in that position? No? I do not, and

(03:21):
I am blessed enough not to have to put him
through that. You know, although I had a great life,
my childhood years were the best years of my life.
I can say that. But I didn't know that there
was a better way to live because that's how I
was raised. So you don't know anything but what you
were raised around. You don't know anything else when you're
being raised, except for how you're being raised. I didn't

(03:42):
know that there was a county. I didn't know that
there were rich bitches. I didn't know any of that.
I did not know that I didn't even know Beverly
Hills existed. So this guy that I was dating, I
was talking to and and trust me, it didn't go
any further than just a couple of conversations. And maybe
I cooked him in at one time and that ship.
That's so, I was gonna say dinner, but it wouldn't

(04:03):
even go out. This motherfucker was so hung up on
not treating me a certain way because of how he
knew me when we grew up together that he wasn't
even really thinking about the woman that I had grown
up to be. And he wasn't even looking at the
fact that I picked you. You better be fucking lucky
that I came back to this fucking hood to get you. Motherfucker. Now, listen,

(04:28):
y'all can say what y'all want, y'all can say, oh, no,
that's low, that's dirty, but y'all have to understand something.
When you elevate, so does everything else in your life.
I just didn't know how to elevate the status of
men that I was dating, so I would keep dating
hood niggas, hood niggas, a soul drugs, because that's all
I knew. I didn't know how to elevate that ship

(04:49):
at first. But once you start paying attention to yourself
and you start realizing what you're worth and and and
who you are and who you used to be, and
how far you've come and how you're not going to
let where you come from make you for the rest
of your life or depict your life or dictate how
you can live, then you can see a better future

(05:10):
for yourself. Then you can start elevating everything else that
comes with I started getting money, I started shopping. I
started looking better. Now, when I say looking better, a
bitch ain't never been ugly. I'm gonna just sit here
on this podcast and tell you all this real ship.
A bitch ain't never been ugly. Okay. Always had full lips,
always had a nice little plump ass. Okay, I had

(05:30):
some little alterations done. But I never had hips. Okay,
I was Gina Waters from Martin. I never had hips.
I always had a nice little cuff in my ass.
Believe that never had titties. Okay, me and Trade Songs
had the same chest for years, but it's fine. It
was fine with me, but with money I same flaws.
I corrected. I started eating different, I started thinking different.

(05:51):
Now this does not mean that I elevated to be
better than anyone, but I wanted to be better for myself.
That's just all that is. And that guy couldn't get
past that. So I had to leave that alone. His
pride would not let him see the woman that I've
grown into, b or that I was growing into, because
I've even grown since then. Another example of pride. I

(06:14):
have a friend homeboy close right. He just went through
a situation where he was in a relationship. His girlfriend
cheated on him badly, and she cheated with somebody who
she knew, somebody that she was dealing with before. Now,
this guy, my friend, he's a millionaire. Okay, I'm talking
about deals on the table here and there. No not
that money makes you know, it does not. Now, I'm

(06:37):
just telling all this ship for a reason. He makes money.
He doesn't come from money. He actually comes from the
street as well. But he turned legit hasn't sold a
piece of drugs for years now. I'm talking about he
found an honest, legitimate way to make his money without
having to turn back to the streets. Right. People know
him everything. He met this girl beautiful and she's from

(06:59):
the her too. They were together for a couple of years.
They got a house together. He took her child and
like it was his child and all that ship. I'm
talking about what he knows their family. They met each
other's families, like they bonded. They ended up being like
best friends before they were just like you know, boyfriend
and girlfriend, like they were goals. You know what I'm saying,

(07:20):
because y'all know you'll like to put goals on motherfucker's
You know, she ended up cheating on him, Okay, she
ended up getting caught as well by him. Do you
know her pride was so big and pride false hand
in hand with ego as well. I want you to
know that it can either be pride and dignity or
pride and ego. Pride can hinder you from healthy relationships,

(07:45):
Pride can hinder you from your future. She was so
used to her previous relationships where niggas do nothing but
depend on her, like she would take care of niggas
and and this, that and the other, and I've been
there as well. But she is this is what she
is used to. She's done that and basically all of

(08:05):
her relationships before the one with my homeboy. Right, she's
used to be in the control. She's used to creeping
around on it is that she take care of. Because
what then are you gonna say if I be all
the bills? What then are you gonna say if I
put you in a predicament to to do what you
do even though it's not right. But that's the type
of alpha female that a lot of guys deal with
because a lot of guys are living off of women

(08:26):
these days. Let's not act like they're not, and they are.
You know, I've had a few myself. So that's the thing. Right,
she gets caught and she plays the victim. You haven't
been in a position where you catch somebody doing something
and they get mad because you caught them. They get
mad at you because you're mad at them about something
that you fucking did. Yeah. Yeah, that's pride, that's ego.

(08:49):
That's when you think you're too big to get in trouble.
That's when you think you so slick and that you
don't owe anybody any explanation, and you're so used to
moving like you've been moving where you don't even know
what gets in trouble means because you've never had to
answer for your actions to any nigga. So for a second,
she made him feel like, you need to get me back,

(09:11):
nigga because I ain't do ship, and that's exactly what
he did. And now me, as the home girl that
I am, I'm like, nigga, do you not understand you
didn't do this? She did this? She did this? Why
are you buying flowers? And why are you popping up
at her house? Why are you still paying for ship?
Why are you begging her to be back with you
when her pride won't even allot you a fucking apology.

(09:33):
Her pride won't even let her give you the decency
of saying I'm sorry, I fucked up. I know what
we're gonna do. Instead, she's lashing out and she's angry
at you because you caught her, you quot her, and
you don't want to be with her, so like your
pride can hinder you. Now, we got a commercial and
if you click off of this podcast, I swear I'm
gonna beat your ass. Listen, I'm gonna give you another

(10:00):
example of pride. My aunt is raising my seventeen year
old cousin right now, that's her son. I need for
you all to understand. My cousin is a is a
problem and child all right now. He has been four years.
It's fine. His father's in jail. Fine. He's taller than
my aunt, so he feels like you can't beat me.
Beating him is out of the question. But you're still

(10:22):
living my fucking house. She's gonna follow my rules as
long as I can make you follow them. But she
can't do nothing with him. Now, this is the thing.
My aunt got a phone call from his school. He
was watching porn during art class. His teacher caught him.
Sent to the office. They called his mom. Now, my aunt,
she's at work. Oh, he was watching such and such.

(10:44):
When she got home from work, she planned to take
his phone. She got home, she tried to take his phone.
He wouldn't give it to her. She was like, give
me your fucking phone. You have no business watching porn
in school. You know you watch it. I get it,
but not in school. You gotta know. There's a time
in the place for everything. That the that the mother's speech,
because she's exactly right, nigga, there's a time and place

(11:04):
for everything. Why the funk are you watching porn in
live class right now? And this ain't even virtual, nigga,
This y'are back in school, y'all on campus? Why are
you watching porn? He says to her. I'm not giving
you my phone. I just can't. Like it's I can't.
That'll be giving up my power, Like I'm not gonna
give you my phone, like no woman is ever gonna
go on my phone. That's just like giving up a

(11:26):
piece to me. Like I'll never give you my phone.
I'll pay my own bill. Really, I don't give a
funk what builds you pay. That's your mother. She's asking
you to give you her phone. And that's just what
it is. So when I talked to my little cousin,
because you know how, she's the auntie that tells all
their business and ship and outside it is. Black mothers
tell all their kids business to the rest of the
family and the neighborhood if they're cool with the bitches

(11:47):
like that that they call their neighbors. But she told me, now,
he is my closest little cousin. Of course, he knows
I'm gonna talk about him on this show. It don't matter.
I say, Yo, why the funk? When you give your
mother your phone? Yo, that's like giving up my power.
I would never I never give him my fire. I
never let No. I'm not letting no bitch see my phone.
I said, no, bitch, that's your mother. He said, no,
I'm not even talking. I'm just talking about females period.

(12:11):
I said, that's your mother. You came from her. You
wouldn't be here if it wasn't for your mother. He said,
y'all understand that. But I paid my own bill. I'm seven.
Seen she stopped paying my bill when I was sixteen,
so it saw as I'm concerned. I canna do what
I want on my phone wherever I want to do it.
I said, okay, cool, that's your pride talking. But you
are still to respect your mother, young boy. Come on now,
he apologized to her. He still don't let us see

(12:32):
that phone, but he apologized to it. But that is
literally what I would call a fucking illness. That's a
fucking condition. Pride. Pride can be a condition because it
can hinder you from so much in life. You ever
been on your job and your boss asked you to
do something that somebody else is supposed to be doing

(12:53):
but they're not doing it, and you don't want to
do it because you've already been promoted, or any type
of other prideful situations you've been in at work where
you needed to check yourself or somebody had to check you,
or your boss had to even check you and say, Nigga,
I promoted you. I need you to do this. You
think as I gave you a raise that you exempt
from doing ship that you used to do. That's where

(13:15):
the fucking promotion came from in the first place. Don't
get it funked up. I need for y'alls to understand
pride can hinder you from so much. Pride has hindered
me from so much. I'm talking about when I first
started out in this ship. Man. Listen, I'm come from
Baltimore City. Y'all know that West Baltimore City, to be exact.

(13:37):
And one thing about Baltimore City is, uh, we breed
strong women. Monique, look at her. Everybody thought that her
pride hindered her. No, y'all getting it fucked up? No, no, no, no, no,
she just knew her word, she knew her value. Let
me tell you what pride is. Pride was me not

(13:59):
even being in the game for a year. My first
big stage that I touched was Martin Lawrence. My second
or third time on stage was in front of thirteen
thousand people, opening up from Martin Lawrence on the What
Now Tour five years ago. You couldn't tell me ship

(14:19):
after that. I still didn't know anything about comedy, stand
up comedy. I didn't know how to write a joke.
I didn't know how to do ship for myself in
comedy or in the industry when I got off that stage.
But all I knew was that I was successful in
that ship. That ten minutes I was up there, I
made my mother fucking city laugh. I had thirteen thousand

(14:41):
people laughing at me. And I can't tell you not
one joke I told that night. I can't remember one
thing I even said. I was nervous as fun, but
I made them laugh. So now when I get off
that stage, I get a hug from Martin. Martin like
you sure you sure you've been doing? Remember I told
y'all backstory. I lied to Martin told Martin, I've been
doing comedy for a couple of years. That's how I

(15:02):
got on that stage. Now, listen, this is where a
pride came in. Everybody started trying to book me after that.
Right now, I didn't even make a lot of money
on that show. I didn't. I didn't. I made hardly
nothing on that show. But you would have thought I
made fifty dollars the way I carried ship after that show.

(15:24):
Still not knowing, bitch, there is much more growing that
you have to do. You think as you touch one
stage with Martin Lawrence that you can demand a certain price,
and you can talk to people a certain way, and
you can turn down ship. Are you really trying to
be in this industry or are you trying to fade
out like others? Are you trying to fade out? Are
you trying to be a one stage hit wonder or

(15:46):
what I'm telling you? I was crazy with it. People
was calling me left and right. The book me because
they had, you know, the word traveled and Instagram and everything.
They was like, yo, how much you charge? I was
really really telling it as I charged thirty dollars. Didn't
even get three thousand dollars from Martin for opening I
didn't get three on it. You understand what I'm saying.
I need you all to understand that that pride hurt me.

(16:10):
I could have made so much money, I could have
even grown to be better, just you know, certain people
trying to take me underneath of that wing at that
and I'm like, nig I opened up from Martin. I
don't need none of your niggers. Like you know what
I'm saying, Like that ship hindered me from so much
that I have never spoke about. And I'm surprised nobody
else spoke about it because I was mean. I was
very rude. I thought I made it that night, but no,

(16:31):
that was a milestone. That was an accolade. It was
a big accolade. But it wasn't me making it just yet.
Because I went home and I was still broke. I
went home. I was still j from Harlem and Dukeland.
I went home. I was still a hood bitch. I
had not elevated yet. I went home and ate a
pack of Rama noodles. Yeah, I went home and got

(16:54):
ready for work the next day. I need you all
to understand that my pride hindered me from so much
that I could have done. It's very important for you
to catch that ship before anything goes wrong for you
because of your pride and your ego. Like I said,
that ship goes hand in hand. Pride and dignity is
different than pride and ego ego. It's crazy you talk

(17:16):
down on my fucker's You look at motherfucker's a different way.
You're judgmental, You act like you're better than everybody. That
is ego and pride at the same time. I don't
want to hear anything about no fucking zodiacs. Oh that's
the cancer cancers do that. Oh, that's what my fucking
areas like. No, that's the sagittary. No, nigga, No, I'm
telling you. For every sign out there, there is a

(17:38):
million motherfuckers in each tribe of signs who are like that.
That has nothing to do with zodiac signs. I was
just having this conversation with my trainer earlier. Has nothing
to do with zodiac signs. That has everything to do
with who you are as a person, and and a
lot of it comes from deep rooted issues. Why are
you so prideful? Why do you get in your own
way because pride allows you to get in your own

(18:01):
way with a lot of things. Why why ask yourself,
why what can you do to stop getting in your way?
Let your guard down, be a little bit more humble,
which is what open and more down to earth a
k A understandable, open and understanding. That's humble. Okay, that's
the real definition of being humble, open and understanding, and

(18:25):
that's what a lot of us need to practice. In
a moment. I started practicing that ship. A lot of
ship changed for me. A carefully reckless listeners, A lot
of that ship changed for me. Pride wouldn't let my
dad let my mom go after the divorce. I love
my dad to death. He was so prideful after his

(18:48):
and my mom's divorce. He would start doing spiteful ship.
He started doing spiteful things until he looked up one
day and was like, Yo, this is not even who
the funk I am. I didn't even know I had
this ship in me. Yeah, you were with my mom
for thirty four or thirty five years, so you're only
doing what you know. And that's the person, the only
person in the world that you would hate seeing with

(19:10):
somebody else. But you know what's over between y'all, your
pride didn't let her go. She let you go, but
your pride couldn't let her go fully because you always
felt like you had to have one up. You felt like,
she ain't gonna be with me, She's gonna be with nobody.
I don't want her, but I don't want her with
nobody else. That's selfishness, that's pride, that's ego. Until he

(19:33):
looked up, he realized, Damn, I don't want to hurt her.
I don't want to be like this. I don't. I
don't I want her to be happy. No, I don't
want to see her happy with anybody else. And him
saying it, because at first he wasn't saying that. He
was just being mean and doing spiteful ship. He wasn't
saying that at first, but when he said it, he realized, oh, damn,
this is why I've been lashing out in acting out

(19:55):
like this because I don't want to see it with
nobody else. I don't. I don't want to, but don't
want another nigga to have I don't want another man
to have her. No. No, you know, so you're throwing
a little temper tantrums and ship and look y'all know,
my dad is short and ship like me. So you
run around the city like Chucky and Ship just being
destructive and ship, I said, Dad, set your little ass

(20:15):
down and swing them legs and just think about it
as your legs are swinging. Think about it, Dad, You
had all this time to be great. You didn't. You
lost her and that's when he got it the funk together,
I said, Yo, and your pride can't get her back.
Your pride will never help you win. How you win
is you let her go. You let her be happy.

(20:37):
Who knows what the the future gonna bring. And his
attitude changed that day, I swear to you, So I
want you all to be more aware of your pride,
be aware of that ship. A lot of people got
pride and don't even know. That's why you have guards up.
That's why you're so cold to certain things. That's why
you won't let loose and let go and be free.

(20:58):
That's why you can't understand and certain ship, because your
pride and your ego won't let you because you're so selfish,
you're only worried about yourself. A lot of people aren't
aware of it, and a lot of people are a
lot of motherfucker's know what they're doing. It doesn't cost
you anything to be humble. It doesn't cost you ship.
And I know a lot of pride can be built
off of constant hurt. People can hurt you and make

(21:22):
you prideful. But if you give someone enough power to
make you a certain way, then you aren't your own
person anyway. You don't love yourself anyway, You don't even
know yourself, and then you need to go back to
get to know yourself. Pride is not always bad, but
a little too much of it. It's always negative. It's
always bad. Nobody wants to be around you. You're unapproachable,

(21:46):
you're hard to talk to when you're prideful. I'm gonna
ask a question and then I'm gonna and that. Y'all
can let me know and my d M S or
in my comments however you see fit to contact me
after this. Who would you rather have a conversation with,
prideful Trump or humble Obama. Let's take away the fact
that they were both presidents. That take away what the

(22:08):
funk they did and didn't do for the country. Let's
take away all of that ship in the public life.
We now know them. We don't know them personally, but
we now know them as much as we need to
know them to know. Who would you have a conversation with? Trump?
Who is as prideful as they come? Who is as
selfish as they come? Who as who is as egotistical

(22:32):
as they make them honey? Or Obama? As understanding as
he is, as calm, as easy as humble. I'm talking
about the people we know that we've seen what they've
shown us. Who would you rather have a conversation with?
And just like that, I'm gonna end it on that

(22:54):
I love y'all, just like y'all love me. And then
my deepest pan voice, peace, feel A nice feel aspect aspect.
Nicet Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio

(23:18):
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