February 1, 2023 • 20 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio
and the Black Effects, And just like that, we're back
on the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully Reckless episode.
What's Your Girl? Just hilarious. Listen, y'all. So look, I'm
(00:22):
on set shooting a movie right now, and this is
how busy I am, and this is how dedicated I
am to getting you guys your episode, no matter what,
no matter the time or place, and between scenes, I'm
doing this episode. So I'm still helping all with y'all mess.
We're gonna jump right in and we got some voice notes.
Y'all know this makes me happy, happy, happy because I
don't have to read all y'all non punctual asses. All right,
(00:44):
here we go. Hey, guys. First off, I love you
and I've been keeping up with you for a long time.
I can't wait to finally see you on the your shows, girl,
because I'm always gonna laugh and you keep me cranking up,
so thank you. So I'll just teach you with the headline,
which is I need help fixing my mess because I'm
obsessed with my ex and get ahead to rhyme. But
(01:07):
this beast year, just like it's been getting out of
hand and at my big age, which is thirty one,
newly thirty one, I need to stop. Never in my
life have I ever hited me and made me feel
his way. So my question to you is how do
I move on and let go? Just let go and
move on. I'm really having my struggles with that, and
(01:29):
I'm hoping you can help me fix it or just
give me some advice because your girls just feeling little.
So honestly, I'll try to make this bank story quick.
So I met my Mr Big and when I say
Mr Big, yeah, I'm talking about like how Carrie Brashaw
having Mr Big and sex in the city. So I
(01:49):
met how when I was twenty one and he was
twenty five at the time again this year, and he
was everything to me. The connection was truly Junior Waine.
We share common and tradus and we just had a
lot in comment, even down to the gym. So during
his time period when I met him, I was going
through a lot. I was going through a situation no car,
not have my own place, and I had a two
(02:10):
year old daughter at the time. My relationship with my
child's father was terrible and to better explain it, it
was absolutely frustrating, like trying to comparing with my child's father.
It was like we couldn't even agree that one plus
one equals too. So, needless to say, when I met
my Mr Big, he was a birth of fresh air.
So two months in, while my Mr Big was being
(02:31):
the best thing ever and having me on cloud nine,
no sex involved, he was helping me out and being consistent,
making me really happy, like he knew how to listen
to me and have real conversations, intellectual ones and funny ones.
I felt like I met my best friend, sold me.
I was mainly in love for him bomb show. He
(02:52):
admits he's married. Instant heartbreak, so I left. He chased
me down while I was an emotional rank or a
period of time. I definitely didn't make it easy for him,
but my intentions was to leave because I knew it
was the right thing to do. And finally I gave
in sex included. Shi got rope when he told his
wife about me, and that was just a whole another
(03:15):
fucking chapter, but I'm skipping all that. Maybe not so
wife came to me as a woman, even admitting that
she cheated on him thirst and wanted me to fall
back so they could work it out. Ranted they were,
in fact that family with two kids involved. I'm not
into breaking up our families, but I'm like, bitch, you
clearly wasn't thinking about your family, and I know we
(03:37):
all make mistakes, but I'm in too deep at this point,
so I attempted to walk away, Like several times, I'd
leave and come right back. And it was a back
and forth, back and forth thing for several years. When
I finally got the courage to let him go, like literally,
I'll say like a year later, they finally got divorced,
(04:00):
an official divorce. I automatically knew he wouldn't need time
to recover and get adjusted to his new normal, maybe
even on a couple of bitches. At this point, I
leveled up a lot, no home card, career and phone number,
same email, unfortunately, which is how he got in contact
with me. We fucked and he told me later how
(04:20):
he has a new situation, but it's rocky. I'm pissed
by this point because we just sucked in. I felt
like him telling me after the fact reminded me of
how he told me how he was married long after
I fell in love with him, had I known he
had a girlfriend, I wouldn't even had slept with him.
Maybe y'all would have had he been up front, But
let me decide, because now I feel like I'm playing
(04:42):
side check to your new bitch and I'm living. I'm
living because I feel like damn Like it's like, man,
you just see me as being a savage to whoever
you dealing with, Neil, And I've been in that side
bitch category for so long with you because I had
hopes that you would leave your situation us. I know, cliche,
but it's my truth. And I was very much younger
(05:04):
at that time, but I was so in love with
this name that I stayed around and I shouldn't hear
if I should have just walked away, no matter how
I fucking felt or whatever. But that was me at
two being dumb and stupid, and then twenty three being
dumb and stupid. You know, I'm like, oh, new year,
do big, Like I'm just trying to be on some
(05:25):
whole different type of time. However, it's like that's like,
once he came out of that situation, I honestly thought
that him and I stood the chance to where we
can finally come to each other both single, he's not
with nobody, I know, with nobody, So now we can
work on us eventually, not so quickly. So I'm not
trying to sound like I'm blaming this thing entirely on me.
(05:45):
I do take accountability, you know. Yes, he played his
part with telling me, you know, things that I chose
to believe. But aside from that, it's like one time
and I were fully single. I want us to gradually grow.
Bottom line, the nigga ends up ghosting me, and we
spend a whole of time together and I'm thinking it's
finally us officially bonded and growing towards our future, thinking
(06:06):
we about to be on this whole new chapter for us,
and this nigga end up ghosting me. By this point,
we find us into a pandemic or whole pandemic, and
it makes me think of it Beyonce and justin timber
Lakes song The End of Time, and it just had
me thinking, like, damn if if this is we're going
in like not because of like as long as we're
together as a family, I'm happy, you know, And it's
(06:29):
just so crazy. I don't know what can I say.
It's like I was shocked because he was never one
of ghost me, and that ship really sucked me up
because I was always the one doing a ghost thing,
you know, or the so called ghost and but it
was just like damn, like you you know, turns out
you ghost me because you got her pregnant and you know,
you didn't have the balls to tell me that you
had a baby on the way. And it's like then,
(06:52):
you know, turns out the following year y'all had a
baby or whatever. And I found out. I find us
out through a family friend and because again we're not
on social medid or whatever, and and it's like, you know,
and I'm not gonna lie. I was happy for him
and everything, but I cried like a little bit, you know,
and and I had to get it out of my
system because it's like, this is the man who I
wanted to spend the rest of my life way. I
want to have a child next and all that, and
(07:12):
it's like, damn, I had to be the one to
pop a playing b Hold up, hold up, I know
the ship getting good, but listen to just a couple
of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.
Moving on or whatever. He had a beautiful baby boy.
I'm happy for him, and then it's like he not
even with the baby mom, no more or whatever, like
that was a done deal. And it's like wow, you know,
so I do think like that that could have been
(07:33):
me in that situation, however, and moving along, it's like boom,
he asked me on social media, you know, and this
is like two years later, and if you knew her history,
you knew we never followed each other on social media
at all. He follows me on Instagram, so I follow back,
and it's like, you wanted me to see this ship down.
You engage, but you're not even with baby man number
one or two. You gotta hold new bitch, And it's like, okay, cool,
(07:55):
I'm happy for you, but no, I cried like a
little bit or whatever. It's like because you see the
Insta rand stories being posted up and everything. It looks
all terrific, and it's like I got me thinking, like damn,
and I know I wouldn't be tripping so hard if
I had a good situation going on for my own self,
you know, and I was involved with somebody when I
was in love, but I'm not. That's not my reality
for me. Unfortunately, you know, the dating pool is full
(08:15):
of ship impiss and it's like he's the only man
that I ever had a real connection with, and it's
really hard. It's a real hard pull to s follow,
you know, because it's like, I don't know, I know,
I sound like a crazy person, but this is just
the truth, and I'm just like, how the funk do
I move on? Do I block this motherfucker? I don't
(08:36):
have the balls do that. I told myself I wouldn't
go back on his page, So mind you, him being
engaged currently is more recently, Like this is like I
found out he was engaged summertime of last year two
so prior today, I found that about for my family friend,
another family friend that he was you know and engaged
and everything. And it's like, yo, I guess I gotta
tell these family friends don't keep me up with ship
(08:56):
because it's just it's just too much and I'm not
taking it as well as I thought I would it.
And again, like any any information after that, it was
all learned by me, like because I'm the one over
here lurking and searching the pages, so it's like I'm
looking at her page, I'm going at his page. I'm
finding information even down to the part that gets me
that how and again I know that will work for her,
don't work for me, will work for me, didn't work
for her, But however it's working right now for her.
(09:18):
Ship might as well to say, because they only would
know each other for a year and got engaged. And
that's a slap in the face to me because I'm like, damn,
and how many fucking years that I waste on you?
But it is what it is, you know what I mean, like,
and I'm just trying to I just don't want to
be like on it, like I'm not this person, I'm
not this woman who. I don't hate the girl, and
I want to make that very clear. I do not
(09:38):
hate her, you know. I notice sound like I'm hating Ship,
but I don't hate her as a person. If anything,
I admire her because I'm like, yo, it's a lot
of her that I see and myself, Like, it's a
lot of things I've seen me and her got in comment,
it's a lot of me that I see I heard,
so I'm like, what the funk? Like, you know even
then too, our body shaves and just how you know,
like some of the ship that she'd be posting. Again,
this is me just being upset and lurk in or
(10:00):
whatever and and not on something like obsessing all day.
But this ship takes up a lot of space in
my fucking mind. And I'm just being real honest, like
because I sit and reflect like damn like ten years
and reflecting back on how it was and the fact
that I haven't met a man yet who makes me
feel the way that he does. And you know, he
was a man who really really saw me. He gave
(10:22):
me my flowers when my baby father was giving me garbage,
you know, giving me a lot of ship and hating
on me when I when I elevated, and you know,
instead of being proud like, oh my baby mind going
goove with her life and and you know what I mean,
and me and my baby father in a good space
now or whatever. But it was just you can only
imagine how disgusting it was for me to just like
just deal with all of that, and and how it
(10:43):
really made my Mr Big look like Mr Big you
know what I mean, Like he was Mr Big Shot
in my world. So how do I move the funk on?
Is just where I'm at, Like I don't want to
be this person. That's just like, you know, being this
way or whatever. I don't I'm not trying to cause
harm to nobody. I'm not like that. I'm not in
(11:04):
that kind of mental space at all. But I do
sit back and just think so much. And then on
top of that, it's even worse than like, Okay, I
know I'm getting my body goes together, but she get
her body goes together to not only just that, but
he also looked so much fucking better. Keeve been mine
when I met him. You know, we had a lot
in common with like keeping our weight down, working out
(11:25):
jim dates, all the kind of stuff stuff that I
see them do now, and they don't work out these
together and everything. So I'm okay, I see only work
at videos, That's what's up. But him, like I've always
been attracted to this man, Like this man's found the motherfucker.
I just might have to insert the picture so you
can see what I'm tripping on. And that's just the
end of that chest. I'm sorry to be so long
windy with this whole thing, but how do I move
the funk on? And just like full big, like what's
(11:47):
your vikes on? That because I don't know, I'm not
a crazy person. I got a lot of good things
going on for myself. I do the day, and I said,
the dating pool sucks, but and you know, I love
just being a mom and doing what I gotta do.
But it's like my know, you know, my operlation clock,
you know, it was taken away, you know, and it's
like eventually I'm one another baby in its heart trying
to pick a motherfucker. Because after going through my first situation,
(12:09):
my first baby father, they already get PCs day. So
I told myself I was not having another baby, and
so I found the one and it's like, man, it's hard,
Oh my god. Also, just I just would like to
add that the way that this impacted me, it has
this pros and its kinds. And so just to mention
the pro once I found out that he was he
was engaged. Last year of two, summer two, I actually
(12:32):
just went hard. It put a battery in my back
and I went into to a gym because I know
I picked. I put it on a lot of weight
since the pandemic, So I d losing thirty pounds before
the year was out. That was my goal. UM twenty
five my goal. It just did something to me, So
that's the that's the pro point, you know. But um,
I mean and not to use that as my you know, motivation,
(12:53):
my drive, but it has been, you know, just be honest.
So I don't know. I'm just trying to get ready
for a whole new thing because I'll be damned sitting
up here, you know, watching them and had a beautiful way,
you know whatever, and I'm over here just all out
of shape by the way, like at depending on these
fucking quarantine pans. So um, but yeah, that's all I
(13:13):
want to share. I just you know, it's it's prosing
kind toy. But best believe I'm not all crazy like
sitting outside his man's house or stalking her like I
don't even know the girl, never met her, you know.
So like I said, the stalk it is so bad.
It's wearing like on social media because like I learned
so much off of their page because um, they post
so much, they post every thing. But that's what that is.
So I just want to want to be in a
(13:35):
hold new space. So that's what I want to Thank you,
just thank you. If you love me, you'll listen to
this commercial and then we'll be right back. Okay, So
I told you all, I'm at work, So now I
gotta walk to the front go get my goddamn food,
because that's just how it is on set. I don't
like the ship that he got here. All right, let
me get to you, sweetheart. First of all, I want
(13:56):
to say thank you for being so open and so
vulnerable with such personal information like it's it's something that
you that women often feel ashamed of sharing, how vulnerable
they are and how dumb these men make us feel,
and how stupid we may feel that they make us look.
And we ain't stupid. We know that we're not, but
(14:18):
it's easy to make us feel that fucking way. Hello,
thank you so much, baby girl. All Right, there we go.
I'm about to finish talking. I just had you. Gotta
fucking work at work. I'm doing my fucking podcast, wild
(14:41):
iman fucking podcast. Say okay, lord, I got cramps, Lord, Lord, Lord,
and you'll get my food at the front. I got cramps, y'all.
This is a lot, but it's very very real. All
right here we go. Sorry about that. Okay, So what
(15:02):
I want to say to you, I'm gonna tell you
immediately what I feel like your problem is No, I
don't think that you're a hater, but I think that
you're so busy being envious of the time that these
women have with him versus you focusing on yourself, you
leveling up, knowing what you're worth, and realizing that you're
(15:25):
never gonna be first to him because you look up.
Ten years is gone and you've been playing seconds since
you met him. You understand, when you learned that he
had a wife, you were upset, you were disgusted. The
anguish took over, but you still never let him go.
You still never set a boundary and said, oh no,
(15:47):
I can't funk what you you married boom. In fact,
you saw comfort and being with him because his wife
had admitted to you like she cheated on him, So
you felt like it was okay. So you made a
mental contract in your mind and you you stayed bind
it to it. Whether you really want to admit it
or not. You put yourself in the situation, you kept
(16:09):
yourself there. It's like you negotiated the terms yourself. Okay.
So since his wife cheated on him, shan't running about
a happy life paying a happy wife with her husband.
So now that allows him to be able to cheat
with me with no regard for her feelings because she
cheated first. When in fact, you want to one day
become a wife. You would give anything to be in
(16:29):
her position, because she's the wife, right, that's what you wanted.
You wanted to be a wife, You wanted to be
a family. You want to have him as your husband.
Nobody has ever made you feel the way he made
you feel. You, God, damn right, nobody has ever made
you feel second. Nobody has ever done that. Oh, your
baby daddy did, and this man makes you feel the
same way. You know. I'm laying on you think because
(16:50):
you I'm telling you, I'm regurgitating back what you told
me about yourself. And it takes for someone to hear
it from somebody else's mouth, something about them. Um, you
can tell me story all day. You don't hear it
until you hear it back. You really ain't listening until
you hear it somebody else tell you your ship back
to you. I want you to think about that. Think
about that. You're never gonna be number one to him.
(17:12):
You never was. Not saying it didn't love you, not
saying it didn't feel anything for you, but he's obviously
a womanizer. Ain't what the first baby mother? Ain't what
the second baby mother? And he wouldn't be with you,
and you kept saying you wanting to be in their
places for that time being that he had with them.
Why you in your place? You was just as free
as the bird and didn't even know it because you
(17:33):
was holding your own self captive to him. He wasn't
even holping you captive. He just figured that you would
be there every time he called, and you were. So
that's how you move on. You look up and you
realize how fucking free you are, and that you're not
even that wife. Stop lurking, Stop stop looking at that
ship for what. I don't care what what that life
(17:54):
may look like on Instagram or or whatever. You know.
God damn well, behind closed doors, that man is still
cheating on her because it's a couple of yous that
he's had. Apparently he loves younger women that he can
pull the wall over their eyes and ship. He getting older, Hell,
he's getting older. He ain't getting no younger. Yeah, the
dating pool is full of ship and piss, and these
(18:14):
niggas love to swim in it. So that's what he's
gonna keep on doing what a wife. He just sucked
you last year and he was engaged. He ain't ready
to get married. It looks good these days. People get
married for the wrong reasons anyway, just to have those
great pictures to capture and share with the world full
of motherfuckers who don't know or give a funk about them.
You better get yourself together because you sound very intelligent
(18:37):
and two goddamn good. There a lot of another ten
years go past chasing the motherfucker who ain't gonna chase you, Okay,
running up behind this man girl, and he only four
years older. Years, he ain't getting no motherfucking younger. He
looked good, bit you look good. You know how many
other niggas out here looked good that don't belong to
nobody that's waiting for a woman like you because you
(18:57):
don't belong to nobody either. You don't belong to him
because he's never claimed you and you know, took up
all his damn episode. Girl, you better check back in
with me. That brings me to the end of this
just fixed my mess episode for carefully reckless. Y'all tune
in each and every Wednesday when you're way to work,
when you wait to take them babies in school, on
your way to the gym, whether you gotta wake up,
listen to go back to sleep, sparking your morning blunt.
(19:18):
It don't matter. Tune in and tune It's a co
parents and therapy with Just and Rome This Wednesday, every
other Wednesday night at seven pm and in my deepest
pam Boys, I love y'all. Peace Carefully Reckless is a
(20:41):
production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For
more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the I heart
Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows.
Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio
and the Black Effects, And just like that, we're back
on the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully Reckless episode.
What's Your Girl? Just hilarious. Listen, y'all. So look, I'm
(00:22):
on set shooting a movie right now, and this is
how busy I am, and this is how dedicated I
am to getting you guys your episode, no matter what,
no matter the time or place, and between scenes, I'm
doing this episode. So I'm still helping all with y'all mess.
We're gonna jump right in and we got some voice notes.
Y'all know this makes me happy, happy, happy because I
don't have to read all y'all non punctual asses. All right,
(00:44):
here we go. Hey, guys. First off, I love you
and I've been keeping up with you for a long time.
I can't wait to finally see you on the your shows, girl,
because I'm always gonna laugh and you keep me cranking up,
so thank you. So I'll just teach you with the headline,
which is I need help fixing my mess because I'm
obsessed with my ex and get ahead to rhyme. But
(01:07):
this beast year, just like it's been getting out of
hand and at my big age, which is thirty one,
newly thirty one, I need to stop. Never in my
life have I ever hited me and made me feel
his way. So my question to you is how do
I move on and let go? Just let go and
move on. I'm really having my struggles with that, and
(01:29):
I'm hoping you can help me fix it or just
give me some advice because your girls just feeling little.
So honestly, I'll try to make this bank story quick.
So I met my Mr Big and when I say
Mr Big, yeah, I'm talking about like how Carrie Brashaw
having Mr Big and sex in the city. So I
(01:49):
met how when I was twenty one and he was
twenty five at the time again this year, and he
was everything to me. The connection was truly Junior Waine.
We share common and tradus and we just had a
lot in comment, even down to the gym. So during
his time period when I met him, I was going
through a lot. I was going through a situation no car,
not have my own place, and I had a two
(02:10):
year old daughter at the time. My relationship with my
child's father was terrible and to better explain it, it
was absolutely frustrating, like trying to comparing with my child's father.
It was like we couldn't even agree that one plus
one equals too. So, needless to say, when I met
my Mr Big, he was a birth of fresh air.
So two months in, while my Mr Big was being
(02:31):
the best thing ever and having me on cloud nine,
no sex involved, he was helping me out and being consistent,
making me really happy, like he knew how to listen
to me and have real conversations, intellectual ones and funny ones.
I felt like I met my best friend, sold me.
I was mainly in love for him bomb show. He
(02:52):
admits he's married. Instant heartbreak, so I left. He chased
me down while I was an emotional rank or a
period of time. I definitely didn't make it easy for him,
but my intentions was to leave because I knew it
was the right thing to do. And finally I gave
in sex included. Shi got rope when he told his
wife about me, and that was just a whole another
(03:15):
fucking chapter, but I'm skipping all that. Maybe not so
wife came to me as a woman, even admitting that
she cheated on him thirst and wanted me to fall
back so they could work it out. Ranted they were,
in fact that family with two kids involved. I'm not
into breaking up our families, but I'm like, bitch, you
clearly wasn't thinking about your family, and I know we
(03:37):
all make mistakes, but I'm in too deep at this point,
so I attempted to walk away, Like several times, I'd
leave and come right back. And it was a back
and forth, back and forth thing for several years. When
I finally got the courage to let him go, like literally,
I'll say like a year later, they finally got divorced,
(04:00):
an official divorce. I automatically knew he wouldn't need time
to recover and get adjusted to his new normal, maybe
even on a couple of bitches. At this point, I
leveled up a lot, no home card, career and phone number,
same email, unfortunately, which is how he got in contact
with me. We fucked and he told me later how
(04:20):
he has a new situation, but it's rocky. I'm pissed
by this point because we just sucked in. I felt
like him telling me after the fact reminded me of
how he told me how he was married long after
I fell in love with him, had I known he
had a girlfriend, I wouldn't even had slept with him.
Maybe y'all would have had he been up front, But
let me decide, because now I feel like I'm playing
(04:42):
side check to your new bitch and I'm living. I'm
living because I feel like damn Like it's like, man,
you just see me as being a savage to whoever
you dealing with, Neil, And I've been in that side
bitch category for so long with you because I had
hopes that you would leave your situation us. I know, cliche,
but it's my truth. And I was very much younger
(05:04):
at that time, but I was so in love with
this name that I stayed around and I shouldn't hear
if I should have just walked away, no matter how
I fucking felt or whatever. But that was me at
two being dumb and stupid, and then twenty three being
dumb and stupid. You know, I'm like, oh, new year,
do big, Like I'm just trying to be on some
(05:25):
whole different type of time. However, it's like that's like,
once he came out of that situation, I honestly thought
that him and I stood the chance to where we
can finally come to each other both single, he's not
with nobody, I know, with nobody, So now we can
work on us eventually, not so quickly. So I'm not
trying to sound like I'm blaming this thing entirely on me.
(05:45):
I do take accountability, you know. Yes, he played his
part with telling me, you know, things that I chose
to believe. But aside from that, it's like one time
and I were fully single. I want us to gradually grow.
Bottom line, the nigga ends up ghosting me, and we
spend a whole of time together and I'm thinking it's
finally us officially bonded and growing towards our future, thinking
(06:06):
we about to be on this whole new chapter for us,
and this nigga end up ghosting me. By this point,
we find us into a pandemic or whole pandemic, and
it makes me think of it Beyonce and justin timber
Lakes song The End of Time, and it just had
me thinking, like, damn if if this is we're going
in like not because of like as long as we're
together as a family, I'm happy, you know, And it's
(06:29):
just so crazy. I don't know what can I say.
It's like I was shocked because he was never one
of ghost me, and that ship really sucked me up
because I was always the one doing a ghost thing,
you know, or the so called ghost and but it
was just like damn, like you you know, turns out
you ghost me because you got her pregnant and you know,
you didn't have the balls to tell me that you
had a baby on the way. And it's like then,
(06:52):
you know, turns out the following year y'all had a
baby or whatever. And I found out. I find us
out through a family friend and because again we're not
on social medid or whatever, and and it's like, you know,
and I'm not gonna lie. I was happy for him
and everything, but I cried like a little bit, you know,
and and I had to get it out of my
system because it's like, this is the man who I
wanted to spend the rest of my life way. I
want to have a child next and all that, and
(07:12):
it's like, damn, I had to be the one to
pop a playing b Hold up, hold up, I know
the ship getting good, but listen to just a couple
of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.
Moving on or whatever. He had a beautiful baby boy.
I'm happy for him, and then it's like he not
even with the baby mom, no more or whatever, like
that was a done deal. And it's like wow, you know,
so I do think like that that could have been
(07:33):
me in that situation, however, and moving along, it's like boom,
he asked me on social media, you know, and this
is like two years later, and if you knew her history,
you knew we never followed each other on social media
at all. He follows me on Instagram, so I follow back,
and it's like, you wanted me to see this ship down.
You engage, but you're not even with baby man number
one or two. You gotta hold new bitch, And it's like, okay, cool,
(07:55):
I'm happy for you, but no, I cried like a
little bit or whatever. It's like because you see the
Insta rand stories being posted up and everything. It looks
all terrific, and it's like I got me thinking, like damn,
and I know I wouldn't be tripping so hard if
I had a good situation going on for my own self,
you know, and I was involved with somebody when I
was in love, but I'm not. That's not my reality
for me. Unfortunately, you know, the dating pool is full
(08:15):
of ship impiss and it's like he's the only man
that I ever had a real connection with, and it's
really hard. It's a real hard pull to s follow,
you know, because it's like, I don't know, I know,
I sound like a crazy person, but this is just
the truth, and I'm just like, how the funk do
I move on? Do I block this motherfucker? I don't
(08:36):
have the balls do that. I told myself I wouldn't
go back on his page, So mind you, him being
engaged currently is more recently, Like this is like I
found out he was engaged summertime of last year two
so prior today, I found that about for my family friend,
another family friend that he was you know and engaged
and everything. And it's like, yo, I guess I gotta
tell these family friends don't keep me up with ship
(08:56):
because it's just it's just too much and I'm not
taking it as well as I thought I would it.
And again, like any any information after that, it was
all learned by me, like because I'm the one over
here lurking and searching the pages, so it's like I'm
looking at her page, I'm going at his page. I'm
finding information even down to the part that gets me
that how and again I know that will work for her,
don't work for me, will work for me, didn't work
for her, But however it's working right now for her.
(09:18):
Ship might as well to say, because they only would
know each other for a year and got engaged. And
that's a slap in the face to me because I'm like, damn,
and how many fucking years that I waste on you?
But it is what it is, you know what I mean, like,
and I'm just trying to I just don't want to
be like on it, like I'm not this person, I'm
not this woman who. I don't hate the girl, and
I want to make that very clear. I do not
(09:38):
hate her, you know. I notice sound like I'm hating Ship,
but I don't hate her as a person. If anything,
I admire her because I'm like, yo, it's a lot
of her that I see and myself, Like, it's a
lot of things I've seen me and her got in comment,
it's a lot of me that I see I heard,
so I'm like, what the funk? Like, you know even
then too, our body shaves and just how you know,
like some of the ship that she'd be posting. Again,
this is me just being upset and lurk in or
(10:00):
whatever and and not on something like obsessing all day.
But this ship takes up a lot of space in
my fucking mind. And I'm just being real honest, like
because I sit and reflect like damn like ten years
and reflecting back on how it was and the fact
that I haven't met a man yet who makes me
feel the way that he does. And you know, he
was a man who really really saw me. He gave
(10:22):
me my flowers when my baby father was giving me garbage,
you know, giving me a lot of ship and hating
on me when I when I elevated, and you know,
instead of being proud like, oh my baby mind going
goove with her life and and you know what I mean,
and me and my baby father in a good space
now or whatever. But it was just you can only
imagine how disgusting it was for me to just like
just deal with all of that, and and how it
(10:43):
really made my Mr Big look like Mr Big you
know what I mean, Like he was Mr Big Shot
in my world. So how do I move the funk on?
Is just where I'm at, Like I don't want to
be this person. That's just like, you know, being this
way or whatever. I don't I'm not trying to cause
harm to nobody. I'm not like that. I'm not in
(11:04):
that kind of mental space at all. But I do
sit back and just think so much. And then on
top of that, it's even worse than like, Okay, I
know I'm getting my body goes together, but she get
her body goes together to not only just that, but
he also looked so much fucking better. Keeve been mine
when I met him. You know, we had a lot
in common with like keeping our weight down, working out
(11:25):
jim dates, all the kind of stuff stuff that I
see them do now, and they don't work out these
together and everything. So I'm okay, I see only work
at videos, That's what's up. But him, like I've always
been attracted to this man, Like this man's found the motherfucker.
I just might have to insert the picture so you
can see what I'm tripping on. And that's just the
end of that chest. I'm sorry to be so long
windy with this whole thing, but how do I move
the funk on? And just like full big, like what's
(11:47):
your vikes on? That because I don't know, I'm not
a crazy person. I got a lot of good things
going on for myself. I do the day, and I said,
the dating pool sucks, but and you know, I love
just being a mom and doing what I gotta do.
But it's like my know, you know, my operlation clock,
you know, it was taken away, you know, and it's
like eventually I'm one another baby in its heart trying
to pick a motherfucker. Because after going through my first situation,
(12:09):
my first baby father, they already get PCs day. So
I told myself I was not having another baby, and
so I found the one and it's like, man, it's hard,
Oh my god. Also, just I just would like to
add that the way that this impacted me, it has
this pros and its kinds. And so just to mention
the pro once I found out that he was he
was engaged. Last year of two, summer two, I actually
(12:32):
just went hard. It put a battery in my back
and I went into to a gym because I know
I picked. I put it on a lot of weight
since the pandemic, So I d losing thirty pounds before
the year was out. That was my goal. UM twenty
five my goal. It just did something to me, So
that's the that's the pro point, you know. But um,
I mean and not to use that as my you know, motivation,
(12:53):
my drive, but it has been, you know, just be honest.
So I don't know. I'm just trying to get ready
for a whole new thing because I'll be damned sitting
up here, you know, watching them and had a beautiful way,
you know whatever, and I'm over here just all out
of shape by the way, like at depending on these
fucking quarantine pans. So um, but yeah, that's all I
(13:13):
want to share. I just you know, it's it's prosing
kind toy. But best believe I'm not all crazy like
sitting outside his man's house or stalking her like I
don't even know the girl, never met her, you know.
So like I said, the stalk it is so bad.
It's wearing like on social media because like I learned
so much off of their page because um, they post
so much, they post every thing. But that's what that is.
So I just want to want to be in a
(13:35):
hold new space. So that's what I want to Thank you,
just thank you. If you love me, you'll listen to
this commercial and then we'll be right back. Okay, So
I told you all, I'm at work, So now I
gotta walk to the front go get my goddamn food,
because that's just how it is on set. I don't
like the ship that he got here. All right, let
me get to you, sweetheart. First of all, I want
(13:56):
to say thank you for being so open and so
vulnerable with such personal information like it's it's something that
you that women often feel ashamed of sharing, how vulnerable
they are and how dumb these men make us feel,
and how stupid we may feel that they make us look.
And we ain't stupid. We know that we're not, but
(14:18):
it's easy to make us feel that fucking way. Hello,
thank you so much, baby girl. All Right, there we go.
I'm about to finish talking. I just had you. Gotta
fucking work at work. I'm doing my fucking podcast, wild
(14:41):
iman fucking podcast. Say okay, lord, I got cramps, Lord, Lord, Lord,
and you'll get my food at the front. I got cramps, y'all.
This is a lot, but it's very very real. All
right here we go. Sorry about that. Okay, So what
(15:02):
I want to say to you, I'm gonna tell you
immediately what I feel like your problem is No, I
don't think that you're a hater, but I think that
you're so busy being envious of the time that these
women have with him versus you focusing on yourself, you
leveling up, knowing what you're worth, and realizing that you're
(15:25):
never gonna be first to him because you look up.
Ten years is gone and you've been playing seconds since
you met him. You understand, when you learned that he
had a wife, you were upset, you were disgusted. The
anguish took over, but you still never let him go.
You still never set a boundary and said, oh no,
(15:47):
I can't funk what you you married boom. In fact,
you saw comfort and being with him because his wife
had admitted to you like she cheated on him, So
you felt like it was okay. So you made a
mental contract in your mind and you you stayed bind
it to it. Whether you really want to admit it
or not. You put yourself in the situation, you kept
(16:09):
yourself there. It's like you negotiated the terms yourself. Okay.
So since his wife cheated on him, shan't running about
a happy life paying a happy wife with her husband.
So now that allows him to be able to cheat
with me with no regard for her feelings because she
cheated first. When in fact, you want to one day
become a wife. You would give anything to be in
(16:29):
her position, because she's the wife, right, that's what you wanted.
You wanted to be a wife, You wanted to be
a family. You want to have him as your husband.
Nobody has ever made you feel the way he made
you feel. You, God, damn right, nobody has ever made
you feel second. Nobody has ever done that. Oh, your
baby daddy did, and this man makes you feel the
same way. You know. I'm laying on you think because
(16:50):
you I'm telling you, I'm regurgitating back what you told
me about yourself. And it takes for someone to hear
it from somebody else's mouth, something about them. Um, you
can tell me story all day. You don't hear it
until you hear it back. You really ain't listening until
you hear it somebody else tell you your ship back
to you. I want you to think about that. Think
about that. You're never gonna be number one to him.
(17:12):
You never was. Not saying it didn't love you, not
saying it didn't feel anything for you, but he's obviously
a womanizer. Ain't what the first baby mother? Ain't what
the second baby mother? And he wouldn't be with you,
and you kept saying you wanting to be in their
places for that time being that he had with them.
Why you in your place? You was just as free
as the bird and didn't even know it because you
(17:33):
was holding your own self captive to him. He wasn't
even holping you captive. He just figured that you would
be there every time he called, and you were. So
that's how you move on. You look up and you
realize how fucking free you are, and that you're not
even that wife. Stop lurking, Stop stop looking at that
ship for what. I don't care what what that life
(17:54):
may look like on Instagram or or whatever. You know.
God damn well, behind closed doors, that man is still
cheating on her because it's a couple of yous that
he's had. Apparently he loves younger women that he can
pull the wall over their eyes and ship. He getting older, Hell,
he's getting older. He ain't getting no younger. Yeah, the
dating pool is full of ship and piss, and these
(18:14):
niggas love to swim in it. So that's what he's
gonna keep on doing what a wife. He just sucked
you last year and he was engaged. He ain't ready
to get married. It looks good these days. People get
married for the wrong reasons anyway, just to have those
great pictures to capture and share with the world full
of motherfuckers who don't know or give a funk about them.
You better get yourself together because you sound very intelligent
(18:37):
and two goddamn good. There a lot of another ten
years go past chasing the motherfucker who ain't gonna chase you, Okay,
running up behind this man girl, and he only four
years older. Years, he ain't getting no motherfucking younger. He
looked good, bit you look good. You know how many
other niggas out here looked good that don't belong to
nobody that's waiting for a woman like you because you
(18:57):
don't belong to nobody either. You don't belong to him
because he's never claimed you and you know, took up
all his damn episode. Girl, you better check back in
with me. That brings me to the end of this
just fixed my mess episode for carefully reckless. Y'all tune
in each and every Wednesday when you're way to work,
when you wait to take them babies in school, on
your way to the gym, whether you gotta wake up,
listen to go back to sleep, sparking your morning blunt.
(19:18):
It don't matter. Tune in and tune It's a co
parents and therapy with Just and Rome This Wednesday, every
other Wednesday night at seven pm and in my deepest
pam Boys, I love y'all. Peace Carefully Reckless is a
(20:41):
production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For
more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the I heart
Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows.
Host
Jess Hilarious
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