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September 1, 2021 18 mins

Jess is bringing one of her life lessons into story time. Do you tell your boo about your fantasies with other people? Neither does Jess ...well except for that one time!

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio
and the Black Effect n N. And just like that,

(00:20):
we're back on the air. Welcome back to another carefully
Reckless episode with your girl just hilarious. I do not
have a guest today. I'm gonna get back to the
old format. Okay. A lot of y'all are requesting that
I just do my podcast by myself. I wanted to
have fun with my friends and my family a little bit,
a little bit, But now I'm getting back to it.
So grab your sea, grab your halls. It's story time
and this ship is about me. Okay. So some time ago,

(00:46):
like back in a long, long long time agose days,
I was having sex with my current boyfriend. Right. It
was getting steamy. Now, if you are an avid Carefully
Reckless listener, y'all know I told you all there are
only a few ways that I can come right, my
favorite being being on top riding Dick. I love it. Okay. Now,
it's not even all about me being in power writing.

(01:07):
It's about me looking down at my partner, looking at
his eyes, and him looking back up at me. He
got one hand around my neck, the other one around
my waist like slamming me down on that ship right now.
I love that. I also love a guy to talk
to me, oh, because I talk bad. Y'all know I
talk all the time, so why wouldn't not talking a bit?
But even more interesting enough, sex is very sensual for me,

(01:32):
and it's very mental. So I'm riding him and riding
him and writing him right, and I'm not looking down
on him because I'm actually fantasizing about somebody else. And
it's crazy. I know what y'll thinking. This person I
never even had sex with, right, But I was being
trained at that time. I was working out and I
had a trainer. He was fine, chocolate, handsome, he's a

(01:54):
boxer's talking only think about him, tang niggers up in
the ring and ship, and that ship was just sexy
to me. And resign it with my fucking pussy. It
resignated with my hormones at that time. And my boyfriend
then just wasn't doing it for me because I was
fantasizing about another guy. Now. Like I said, I had
never gotten intimate with the guy I was fantasizing about,

(02:14):
but I ended up closing my eyes and imagining that
I was fucking him now I'm becoming more wet, more moist,
and I'm about to climax, right, I yell out other
guy's name. Ain't that about a bit now? Listen. I
don't know if this has never happened to any of
you out there, but it happened to me. Needless to say,
I was accused of cheating, and I literally just had

(02:35):
to come clean because I didn't want to lie. In
that moment, I knew I sucked up. I still got
my nut. He stopped. He instantly got so off ship.
That wasn't gonna stop me. I was already coming anyway,
but it was like an immediate embarrassment. I was like,
oh shit, with the funk that I just do. He goes,
so you're sucking the train and nig that you'd be
working out with. Because he knew who this guy was.
He just didn't know that I was attracted to the guy, right,

(02:59):
I said, No, I never had sex with him. I
pleaded my case because I didn't. I didn't guy, for real,
that's real ship. I did not ever lay down with
this guy. I didn't even tell him that I liked him.
Of course I was flirty with him, but I never
even told him or even expressed to him, I want
to have sex with you. I fantasized about you, blah
blah blah. There are just some things that some people
don't need to know. So with that being said, I'm

(03:21):
like crying. I'm doing all of you know, because this
is my boyfriend. This is my boyfriend, and although I'm
not happy at the time, that's not how I want
to break up with somebody like Oh, Ship, she said
another nigga's names, so she's sucking another guy. No, I
don't even want you to think I'm cheating on you.
I'm happy for other reasons. But you know, Ship, now
you're unhappy because you think I'm a cheater. Needless to say,

(03:41):
we did break up not because of that, but shortly
after that because there were so much other things going
on in the relationship that I did not feel that
it was worth staying and fighting through. You know what
I'm saying or fighting for. So that's that story that
brings me to my question the topic. Do you think
it's common to fantasize about some and else while you
with your partner? Is it common? Really? Now, Listen, that's

(04:04):
not the only time that I've done that. That's the
only time where a bitch was so into it that
I said the guy's name. You know what I'm saying
That that went too fucking far. I went too far,
and I do regret that sexual an encounter. I do
regret that because that was very disrespectful. He was so
upset and he was like, damn, they're about to kill me.
I was like, damn, why would you? Why would you? Bet?

(04:25):
You ain't even sucking. At least you could have sucked
them if it was worth all this and ship. You
know what I'm saying. But I'm not a cheater. I
just was fantasizing. Is it common? I feel like it is.
I feel like it's natural for men and women both
to think about other people or like maybe a crush
or a sexy celebrity that you could see yourself sleeping

(04:46):
with or you imagine yourself being with while you're having
sex with your partner. Now, that doesn't go to say
it happens every time, or you're unhappy with your partner.
Sometimes you just thank you getting your mind and you
you know, why are you riding that dick or you
getting hit from the back or whatever you think of something. Listen,
it's just like watching porn. If you are one of
those couples who have to spice it up, or you

(05:07):
just like watching porn with your partner to get the
ships going, that's fantasizing too, you know what I'm saying.
You're using something else to get it going with your
partner anyway. You know what I'm saying. Now, if both
parties agree, I don't see anything wrong with it. Like
I said, I've done it before. That wasn't the first
time that I did that. Um, do you think fantasizing
is cheating? I don't think it's cheating unless it goes

(05:29):
to fucking far. A fantasy is just supposed to stay
a fantasy, you know what I'm saying. Like you can't
make your fantasy come true, then you're sucking cheating. Then
you you already feel a little guilty because you're already
thinking about somebody else while you're with your partner. Anyway,
But if that's how you need to get off and
your partner just don't know it, I think it's fine.
I think it's permissible. That's just me though. Is it
okay to fantasize about another person if your partner don't know,

(05:54):
if they don't know in this case, this is the
only case I will say what they don't know will
not hurt them because some people can't take that. You
keeping that a secret from some people who can't handle
it is preventing insecurity, It's preventing a lot of drama.
It's preventing a lot of trust issues that you don't

(06:15):
probably need to have. You know what I'm saying that
you probably don't already have. If you do, okay, that's
something else. But in my mind, I feel like it's
better for them not to know, depending on the type
of person they are, Like if you are very open
with your sexuality and a relationship, then it can be
agreed upon. Like if you are the type of couple
who swing, or you'll open, or you'll fun girls together

(06:37):
or your fun guys together or what have you, then
I don't really think that that's a bad thing for
you guys. But if you are straight, monogamous and if
your partner does not believe in anything outside of me,
you can't be fucking with it. I think it needs
to remain a secret, and and it should because everything
is not for everybody. That brings me to my next question,
are you open enough to reveal this to your partner,

(06:59):
that you've antasize about somebody else. Like I said, it
goes for a certain type of person. It takes a
strong fucking person, a very secure, solid person for you
to bring that up to. None of my exes are
are are? Which? None of them? None of them I
I can. I can honestly say I've never been with
somebody who I can. I feel like I can open

(07:21):
up to and be like, look, I fantasize about this
person or you know what I'm saying, not so much,
let's bring this person into the bedroom. But this person
is sexy to me, and sometimes when I'm having sex
with you, I think about him. Fuck No, I don't
know what something is. What you shot my head off
of that ship? You know what I'm saying. Now, let's
look at it from both perspectives. I've also never been

(07:42):
with somebody who I want to hear that ship from either,
Like you know what I'm saying, I've never I'm not
the type of person if you're gonna fantasize about another bit,
you don't need to be sucking me. And I know
that's very contradicting and it's very one sided. It's very biased.
I do understand that. However, it's different strokes for different folks.
I can't control how I feel, and what I don't

(08:03):
know won't hurt me either. In that sense, you understand
what I'm saying. So if my man has to fantasize
or he does fantasize when he's having sex with me,
I don't need to know. I don't need to know.
Sometimes you can tell. Sometimes you definitely can tell. And
I think that my my ex boyfriend from story Time,
I think he could tell because I wasn't looking down
at him, I wasn't really talking to him. I had

(08:23):
my eyes closed, head up to the ceiling. I was
feeling on myself, like I used. I'm usually like very touchy,
feelly during sex, you know, with the partner, you know
what I mean. And I think he could tell. You
know what I'm saying. And then when I just said
the name, that ship just sent rockets up in the air,
like hold up, bitch. It was like a big bomb dropped,

(08:43):
you know what I mean. So to answer my own question, no,
I am not open enough to reveal to my partner
that I fantasized. Now I haven't done it in a
long time. I have not fantasized in a very long time,
and needless to say, right now, I don't need to
I don't need to hold up, hold up. I noticed
ship getting good. But listen to just a couple of
seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.

(09:08):
What is too far? What is going too far? Now?
I gave an example in story time. I said the
guy's name, what is going too far? Though, I'm gonna
give you another example. Going too far would have been
telling my trainer that I fantasized about him and I
want him to fulfill the fantasy that's going to fucking far,
or any type of communication with the person that you're

(09:30):
fantasizing about. Because if you're fantasizing about someone, whether they
are a business partner or somebody you you gotta see
at your kids school or you know at the gym
you see or whether you do or don't notice, motherfucker,
you are not supposed to be openly communicating with them
because you want to do some things with that person,
especially if if you're in a relationship. I think that's

(09:51):
where the boundary needs to be said. The line has
been crossed, and now you are cheating, because it's the
difference between fantasized and cheating, and no, I do not
feel that they go hand in hand. They're very close,
but there is a very thin line in between them. Now,
this is the other question that I should have asked
y'all because y'all know I'm doing just fix my mess,

(10:13):
and y'all y'all sent me in some good ship. But
think about this one. Have you ever fantasized about an
ex somebody that you did fun before, even if it's
not an ex, somebody that you had sex, but before
that you didn't, you know, gave the goodies up to
whole that tell me about that in my d M.
We're gonna go over to just fix my mess now,
I asked on Instagram, have you ever fantasized about someone

(10:36):
else while with your partner? Be honest, Pacos please on
Instagram says yes. Scared the funk out of me. I thought,
my niggare in my mind now listen, Shane do as
bad as me, but she's so It was that guilty
conscience eating her up, like, oh my god, I know
this is wrong. I know I'm not supposed to be
thinking about this, nigga. This nigga, but damn you know,

(10:59):
and and it gets to you like that, like I,
like I said, I've done it before, and I have
in my mind thought that my partner was reading my
mind as well. So no, I definitely get a girl.
We gotta stop doing this ship Okay. Hell Mel underscores three,
says yeah, I do all the time about you, looks her. Listen,
wait a minute, this is not what we're gonna do.

(11:20):
I hope that you are single because if you're a
girl here's this, she's gonna kill you and she's probably
gonna come kill me too. I don't know you, hell Mel,
stop it, but thank you though eighth of all Skills
LLLC says yep. I think nothing is wrong with it
as long as it doesn't go into action. Now listen,
that's getting around til it being common again. It's very

(11:40):
common for a woman to think about another man, or
a man to think about another woman. You can't say
when you're in a relationship, Oh, I want my man
to only have eyes from me, or I want my
woman to only think about me, not not not have
eyes for me, but only think about me. I want
my nigga to only think about me it's it's him
and Lee. Unrealistic for that to happen, Guys, I mean seriously,

(12:03):
especially with all this temptation today, all of these bodies
that that are being done. It's a bunch of bitches
that look a good bunch of guys that's all oiled
up and ship on Instagram. They're putting a ship in
our face. Their goddamn advertising. They're promoting sex. Sex is
promoted everywhere on TV, online billboards, wherever, Sex is promoted everywhere.

(12:26):
Sexy is promoted everywhere, not even only sex, of a
sexy attractiveness everything. So it's kind of hard for you
to be in a relationship and you expect for your
man or your woman not to even think about somebody else.
But as long as it doesn't go into action, I
think that's where you crossed the line. Like I said,

(12:46):
you don't gotta do nothing about it, and you damn
su I don't gotta let your partner know because nine
times out of tend he think about some ship too,
or she think about some other nickea too, you know
what I'm saying, But not thinking in terms of acting
on some ship. It's just this person is sexy to me.
Should you know what I'm saying? Money underscore talks underscore
less says all the time the only way I busting up? Damn.

(13:08):
So see now that that's that's a little different. Joel,
his name is Joel. The last quays I don't agree
with that. I don't. I think that is super fucked up. Um,
your girl just don't make you busting up like you
gotta fantasize all the time. Or are you saying that
you're single and you just be beating your dick? Now?
If that's the case, all right, okay. If if your

(13:29):
hand is pleasing you you have to fantasize that way,
then okay. But if you're in a relationship, Joel, and
you can only busting up by fantasizing about somebody else
while having sex with your partner, you need some help.
You need some help, and that girl she needs to
to sex see it up a little bit. You'all need
to figure out what y'all can do together, because that's

(13:49):
a little disturbing, Joel. Get it together, honey, no judgment,
Just get it together. Infamous on Instagram says, wonder who
you fantasized about? I told you listen to story time
that said, y'all don't need to know who ever, who
else I've fantasized about in my life. No, y'all don't
need to know. Although I'm gonna be very honest with y'all,
let me just let you all in on one thing,

(14:10):
and one thing only. I fantasized one time about Lakeith
Standfield the first time I saw him in a movie.
This was like, what maybe three years ago. Lakeith Stanfield.
He's so fucking fine to me, and that's just what
it is. I don't fantasize about him anymore, but I did,
like once or twice drink cold water. Devin the Dude
on Instagram says, not at all. You bitches are weird

(14:32):
these days. All rights great, Okay, everything ain't for everybody,
and I do get it. I appreciate your dad to do.
D three A d Girls says. When I was with
my ex of six years, we hated each other. Our
entire relationship and intimacy was non existent. I stayed with
him because I was codependent and he had a big

(14:52):
old thing. I definitely thought about other people when we
were together. That's what doggies for. Damn. How do accused
staying in a relationship with somebody that you hate for
six years. I get it, codependent. His thing was big,
but damn, it takes more than just sex for me
to stay with you. I don't give a funk about
a big dick because the nigga's be having big dicks

(15:12):
and not know what to do with them. You know,
I can't do it for my mental sanity. I can't
do it for my energy if my aura is off
around you, if I that reminds me of that fucking
avant song. Remember Separated the nigga came on a goddamn song.
He started the verse said, every time I see you,
I get a bad fun like wow. Every every time

(15:32):
you see a bit, you get a bad vibe like please.
But damn, I'm so sorry. I hope that you are
not with him And oh yeah, well you say it's
X so damn girl, y'all be in some funded up positions.
Rakida's Skita Boo says, I hope I got that right,
bo yes, And can't do nothing Bemoan because you don't
want to accidentally say the wrong name like Jess dumbass.

(15:54):
And this is the last one I'm gonna read. Drago says, yes,
unfortunately be that way. Sometimes we're not perfect, and sometimes
we do it to ourselves from a lustful standpoint. Social
media paints pictures in our minds for us. I just
got finished saying that, yes they do everything is put
out their sex cells, sexy cells everything. When you got
bodies and the half naked asses everywhere online and Nigga's

(16:18):
posting pictures and their briefs and videos and ticktocks with
the prints hanging all out and ship and all that
type of stuff, it's kind of hard not to fantasize,
you know what I'm saying. So I guess just keep
your eyes on your prize while we kick it over
as the current news. Now listen, I recently just had
to go to l A to shoot something with Iman
shumperd and uh, the legendary Be Scott. I love B

(16:42):
who is a beautiful person, by the way, in person.
I'm not saying that B is not beautiful online, but
when you see somebody in person, you'd be like, goddamn,
but you're beautiful. But yes, I sat down and um,
I did Be Scott Show and we covered the show Twenties,
the B e C Show, Lena Wave Show. I off
that show. You'll need to get into it. Season two

(17:02):
will be airing this fall, I believe. But I sat
on that couch with Iman Schampert and Be Scott and
we talked about the fantasizing, you know what I'm saying,
and being sought after and and and and is it
okay to fantasize about somebody else while you're with your partner,
and the boundaries and everything. And that gave me a
wonderful fucking topic. And that's how I perfectly executed today's show.

(17:25):
So listen again for the people in the back. It
is common for you to fantasize, but should you be
so open to tell your partner about it, I'm gonna
give you the advice of saying no. Unless your partner
is very comfortable in solid and need and ne okay
with all honesty from you, they're secure. But if it's

(17:46):
a person who ain't and who don't play that ship,
keep that ship to yourself, and do not be stupid
like me and fantasize about somebody so hard and get
so into it that you say they fucking name, because
you're nigga gonna wring your neck or your bitch gonna
cut you up in your sleep, and just like that,
we come to the end of another Carefully Reckless episode.
What's Your Girl? Just hilarious? Tune in every Wednesday That's

(18:06):
hump Day and then my best deep Pam boys peace
Still Still. Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart

(18:27):
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